


Skaifaya

by Cairlinn



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, F/F, Ice Nation - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lexa Lives, Protective Anya (The 100), Protective Lexa, Sexual Abuse, Slow Build, Slow Burn, mentor!anya, mentor!lexa, mountain men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2018-12-23 20:42:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 185
Words: 548,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11997591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cairlinn/pseuds/Cairlinn
Summary: What if Charlotte was not the only or even the youngest child on the dropship? This is the story of nine year old Marie Matthews, who is send down to earth as a member of the 100. When Murphy is exciled from the 100 Marie follows him and they run into grounders. Seperated from the 100 and to become Anya's second how will Marie stay alive and find a new life for herself?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first go at a the 100 fanfiction. Firstly I want to tell you that I am not a native english speaker, so I apologize beforehand for any mistakes in spelling or grammar.  
> And a big thanks to my beta reader Yordy =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello together,  
> this is an added version of the chapters posted so far.  
> I have included short summaries of the previous chapters at the beginning and added some minor mistakes.
> 
> Sadly I am not the owner of any of the characters beside my OC Marie.
> 
> I am gladly waiting for reviews and appreciate all kind of feedbacks, otherwise I can't improve ;)

“Prisoner 299, face to the wall and hands behind your back!” came the barked order as the door was ripped open to the small cell. Marie scurried to obey the order of one of the guards. With only nine years, she was a small scrawny girl with long wavy blonde hair and steel grey eyes.

Her hands were cuffed together behind her back and she was roughly led out of her cell. Panic settled into her mind almost instantly. As she was brought out into the hallway she could see similar things happen to the other teenage prisoners. They were all led out of the sky box. Marie’s heart started to beat faster in fright. Had the council finally decided to float them all, regardless of their age? But that could not be true, no one under the age of eighteen had ever been floated before as far as she knew.

“What is happening?” she asked the guard who had cuffed her with a pleading look in her grey eyes. The man looked uncertain, but answered in a low tone “I am actually not allowed to tell you, but you all will find out soon enough.”

“We will all be floated, won’t we?” Marie whispered horrified feeling dread settle in her mind.

The guard just shook his head with what could have passed as an compassionate expression but he remained silent.

If they were not floating them, what was happening then? When Marie caught sight of an air lock in front of them, she panicked and started to struggle against his grip. She had seen her father been floated. She had been too young to remember much, but she would forever remember the air lock and the look of pure horror on her fathers’ face as his body was sucked out into space. 

Nevertheless, the guard had no problem at all to physically overpower her and now more or less carried her through the air lock.

She did not recognize the part of the Ark they were in now. Marie had no time to look around, before she was put onto a seat and strapped into the seat belts with rough hands. Before the guard stepped away he took her cuffed hands and undid the cuffs, but he kept her right wrist in a firm grip. The guard took out some kind of wristband and fastened it around her wrist smugly.

Marie clenched her teeth against the sharp pain shooting through her wrist abruptly, when the wristband was snapped shut. It felt as if sharp needles had been rammed through her wrist. The guard looked at her with an apologetic glint in his eyes and finally stepped back from her. Marie looked around the strange room nervously. More and more teenage prisoners were forced into their own seats and geared with the same wristband.

The last prisoner to be brought in was an unconscious blonde teenager, who Marie recognized as the daughter of the medical chief of the Ark.

The door to the room was sealed without any further information and Marie could see her own uncertainty reflected in the expressions of the others.

Suddenly the screens scattered around the walls came to life and a videoed message played where the chancellor Jaha was addressing them.

Marie could not believe her ears and what she had just heard. They were sent down to earth?

The teenage boy sitting next to her addressed her suddenly pulling her from her thoughts.

“What can a kid as young and scrany as you have done to get into the sky box?” he sneered at her assessing the girl with a glare.

Marie blinked at him, speechless for a moment, before she gathered her voice back “I tried to steal medicine from the med bay for my mother.” She was surprised by the boy's open hospitility, but she had answered truthfully.

The boy's sneer lessened noticeably and he spoke in a softer voice now “My father was floated for steeling medicine for me when I was sick as a child. I am Jonathan Murphy by the way.”

Marie took a closer look at the boy, without the sneer on his face he looked nicer. The girl startled strongly, giving a small yelp when the dropship disconnected from the Ark with a sudden jar and they were on their way to earth now.

“I am Marie Matthews” she answered a little bit shyly. She did not know anyone of the other criminals and it could not hurt to know someone if they were to survive the crash to earth. Marie still found it impossibly hard to believe that they may all be able to see what was left of the world soon.

“Nice to meet you, Marie. But call me John. And how old are you?” John asked almost kindly with obvious genuine interest.

“Thanks. I just turned nine a few weeks ago” Marie told the teenager and continued to listen to Jaha’s message from the screen as she did not want to see the pity in John’s eyes. In fact, Marie was not exactly sure how long ago she had turned nine. It had been impossible for her to keep track of time once she had been thrown into the skybox.

The doctor’s daughter had obviously woken up, Marie could hear her fighting loudly with the dark skinned boy next to her. Then suddenly one boy loosened his seat belts and floated through the small space without the artificial gravity of the Ark.

A small smile played around Marie's lips at the sight, the floating looked like real fun. Two other boys undid their seat belts as well and joined the first boy in his floating. The doctor’s daughter tried to lecture them sternly about the dangers but they totally ignored her.

Suddenly the dropship gave a hard jolt and continued its course down to earth heavily jerking now. Marie screamed when the first jolt happened and John sitting next to her took one of her hands and gave a reassuring squeeze.

Marie answered him with a small thankful smile, but she kept a firm hold on his hands while her other hand was clenched around the seat belt, holding on for dear life.

The dropship got a harsh impact as it landed on the surface of the earth. Marie screamed again loudly in pure horror when the floating boys were shot onto the ground of the dropship during their crash. Her head smashed back into the seat and she looked on rather dazed. John pried her fingers off of his hand and unfastened his own seat belt quickly. With shaking fingers Marie also undid the straps of her seat belt, while the other teenagers were already scrambling to the exit hurridly. Marie stood up with weak legs and saw the doctor’s daughter lean over the two boys who had joined the first one to float, they were laying totally still on the floor.

“Are they dead?” Marie asked uncertainly addressing the older blonde girl with her voice pitched higher.

The older blonde girl just nodded her head sadly and hurried to the exit when she noticed that a male teenager was already in the process of opening the exit door. Marie listened on as she was obviously trying to dissuade them from just opening the dropship to the outside air. But what else were they supposed to do, Marie wondered silently? They were not given any resources, so they would need to find water and food quickly.

Marie had always liked to read as soon as she was able to read that is. She had read that a healthy human could survive without food for around three weeks, but only around three days without any water. They were all relatively thin as the rations in the skybox had been even smaller than the rations normal workers got. But water would be the most valuable thing for them in the weeks to come. If they even survived the radiation that was left on earth.

The blonde girl had obviously lost her argument with the boy on the hatch as he pressed a button next to the door and it blasted away with a loud hissing sound. Marie was momentarily blinded by the bright light now suffusing the small space of the dropship and she pressed her eyes closed thightly for a long moment.

The teenagers in front of the queue to the outside were already jumping out looking around in wonder, some others screaming in pure joy.

Marie remained at the back for a few moments trying to hold her breath afraid to breathe this polluted air. But the others seemed to be just fine outside, so she took some shaky steps in the direction of the opened hatch.

Her mouth hung open in silent wonder at what she was seeing. She was frantically looking around trying to take in all the details at once. Everything seemed to be green around them. But not just green everything looked so colourful and just alive. A bright contrast to the metallic and almost sterile atmosphere of the Ark they had grown up in. It was not just the sight that was vastly different, but Marie was completely unsused to the earthy smells assaulting her nose as well.

They had landed in what seemed to be a forest. It looked wild and untamed, almost as if it was completely untouched from any form of civilization. Marie wondered if the whole world now looked like that, after it had been wiped clean of the human race by the nukes that had destroyed the old world and forced their ancestors into space. Marie wondered if there might be any animals around, she could not remember from her earth skill lessons if animals might have been able to survive. Looking behind her, she could see that the dropship had destroyed some trees and set their trunks aflame. The others seemed to be unaware of the burning trees and were running wild around her like they were high on something. In the other direction she could see some big mountains on the horizon and started to hope this was not the Mount Weather Jaha had spoken of, it seemed to be pretty far away from them and if Mount Weather was truly the only source of rations to them, they would have a long way to get there.

The doctor’s daughter was trying to urge a part of the other teenagers to start their way towards the mountain to reach it before the sun would be gone for the night. The one who had opened the hatch wanted to send her off alone, clearly unwilling to follow the orders given to them by the chancellor. Marie wondered how one young woman should be able to carry the things needed for all of them, if she was to find Mount Weather on her own at all? To her it clearly would make more sense for a larger group to seek out Mount Weather, but she highly doubted anyone would appreciate her opinion, so Marie remained silent.

She offered to join the group who had gathered around the older blonde girl, but was rebuffed as being too young and not much help anyway. Sulkingly Marie left the crash site in the other direction into the woods around them. When she was barely able to hear the activity of the other 100 at the dropship, she slowed down and looked around for real.

Marie fell in love with the forest on first sight. Everything was so vibrant and so overwhelming. There was no constant humming anymore from the machines keeping the Ark going. The girl could hear a soft breeze jostling the leaves of the trees and what she thought might be sounds emitted from insects. She let her eyes roam over the trees around her in wonder, taking in the way some leaves looked different from others.

Her eyes whipped back to a particular tree as she thought to have seen movement in the leaves of the trees in front of her. As she tried to focus better on the area she thought she had seen the movement in, suddenly a bird busted from the tree on the left to her with a loud screech. Marie was startled by the sudden appearance of the bird and watched it as it flew off into the sky. She dismissed the prior movements to that of another animal, registering in her mind that there obviously were still animals around. With a bout of relieve Marie thought that if they somehow managed to catch animals they would have a food resource already.

Marie whipped back around when she heard the sounds of someone approaching her from the direction she had come from. John stood behind her with a sloppy grin on his face “Might not be safe here outside on your own, Marie”.

“Because I am too young and too small?” Marie inquired moodily still sulking about being rebuffed earlier. She had seen already that she was by far the youngest of all of them. If no one of them would feel responsible for her, she feared she would soon be forgotten entirely. So it seemed she would have to fend for herself from now on if she wanted to survive.

John shrugged his shoulders and narrowed his eyes at her scrutinizing her once more “You seem robust enough to survive if needed. So, what were you searching for here?”

“Water” she replied in an almost clipped tone, although Marie internally noted that she had forgotten about that in the meantime because of the distracting view.

John just nodded at her before he said “Then let’s go. Together we have a higher chance anyway.”

Marie smiled at him and started to move again further away from the dropship. John followed her silently, their silence was not strained just companionable.

“I have already seen a bird” Marie told John after a few moments wonder still strongly tinting her voice.

John looked around with astonishment on his face after hearing that.

“Do you think it might be possible that some humans have survived as well?” Marie inquired thoughtfully after long moments of silence.

John shrugged his shoulders “Don’t know, don’t think so, but recording to our earth skill lessons we should have died from the radiation already. So, who knows?”

Above them in the trees a lone warrior was silently following them completely undetected by them from tree to tree, listening in on to their conversation and observing the intruders to gather as much information as possible to report back to his general.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously in Chapter 1  
> The teenage prisoners from the Ark are put into the dropship and sent to earth. Marie gets to know John Murphy and together they separate from the other delinquents to search for water in the woods around the drop ship. Unnoticed by both of them, they have already been spotted by a Trikru warrior. Clarke and her group depart to locate Mount Weather.

Marie and John together continued searching for water in their surroundings and kept light small talk ongoing in the meantime.

“So, what did you like to do most?” John asked her out of the blue.

Marie shrugged, startled by the question slightly “Mostly reading, mum would always try to exchange something for a new book for me every few weeks, after I had read the one before a few times.”

John laughed sceptically “I was never one for books. Never took a liking to it. My father always tried to encourage me, but he failed obviously.”

“What happened with your family?” Marie asked compassionately, remembering that John told her that their stories were similar.

“I already told you. My father stole medicine for me when I was sick as a child and was floated for it” he told her nonchalantly.

“Do you remember him much?” Marie inquired further with a slight frown on her face. She was always sad that she had already forgotten most of her father, she wasn’t able to remember the sound of his voice for instance.

John shrugged again “Some details remain, while others are forgotten. I still remember him telling me to try to be better.”

“I still see him being floated in my dreams” Marie shuddered for a moment and added in a whisper “But I wasn’t there when my mother was floated.”

After a few moments of silence Marie added another question “What about your mother, John?”

John’s face showed an ugly sneer now “She was just a useless and pathetic drunk.”

The sound of his voice made it quite clear that the conversation was finished. With a slight flash of guilt Marie wondered if she should apologize for asking or if it would be better to remain quiet. The latter won out as she again focused her attention on the wonderful nature around them. 

Marie did not know for how long they kept on walking through the woods, but both of them noticed the sudden darkness falling around them at the same time. “We should head back, before all the light is gone. We’ll never find the way back to the dropship then.” John announced a slight hint of worry to his tone and turned around abruptly. 

“We have not found any water” she complained deeply disappointed, feeling her mood sour even more.

“Obviously” was the one worded response as John urged her on faster, not feeling well in the darkening woods.

It took them quite some time to get near enough to the dropship again to hear the activity of the other 100. Although neither of them said anything, Marie felt internally relieved that they had indeed found their way back.

When they finally made it back to the crash site, the dark skinned boy, who had fought with the doctor’s daughter was trying to tell the others to build shelters.

The other 100 seemed rather unimpressed by his words and most of them flat out ignored the boy. The one who had opened the hatch to the dropship faced him after some time.

“We are not on the Ark anymore. Here the privileged will do the dirty work!” he announced loudly and with an arrogant sneer on his face. Marie immediately disliked the arrogant boy who looked to be a few years older as all of them.

Marie would have agreed to the dark skinned boy if someone had asked her, she could see the logic that they would soon be needing shelter and the longer they waited the weaker they would get without food and water. The dropship was too small to house all of them and they had no idea about the weather conditions yet.

John on the other hand seemed to agree with the other boy and jumped directly into the confrontation and he roughly shoved the dark skinned boy out of the way.

“Your old dad is not chancellor here” his voice had turned cold and mean. Now that Marie looked at the dark skinned boy she faintly remembered him standing with Jaha somewhere at official gatherings. Even if his father was the chancellor, she really did not like the way John was treating this boy. They were all the same now, weren’t they? Send to the earth to die or rather to function as lab rats for the Ark.

John kept on antagonizing the other boy and suddenly they were facing each other with knives in their hands. Marie held her breath in fright. She had thought they were just fighting with words and not with weapons, absently she wondered where the boys had even gotten hold of the knives in the first place.

She had liked John so far, but she disliked this new side to her friend immediately. Now the softness in his face was replaced with hate and arrogance. His voice was cold and nasty.

Marie was watching the boys circling each other with widened grey eyes, the third slightly older boy was just standing back with his arms crossed over his chest and silently waiting for them to finish their fight.

Suddenly the boy who had opened his seat belts during the landing jumped in between them shoving John back hard in the shoulders and efficiently ending the fight before it had really begun. The boy was much bigger than John and seemed a bit older as well. John seemed to sense that he would not win against him and backed off after he threatened the life of the dark skinned boy loudly.

John trailed behind the boy who had watched them fight and Marie did not feel like joining them so she ventured to the border of the crash site and silently sat against a tree looking up into the sky. It was weird to now look up into the sky and not down onto earth.

She could already feel her belly rumbling from hunger. But hunger wasn’t a stranger to her. She had gone hungry many days before and she knew how to try to block out the nagging of her stomach very well.

The others were still partying around in smaller groups and no one seemed to pay any attention to her, she was too young to be of any interest to them. When a boy and a girl laid down only a few inches away from her, Marie backed further into the treeline a bit put out by the couple making out directly next to her.

She was still near enough to the camp, close enough to hear the laughter and the ongoing party. Marie looked around the trees wondering why no one was trying to do anything productive. Did the others think that food and water would just be falling from the sky to them?

She had been lost in her thoughts and was startled when someone sat down next to her. Marie recognized the boy as being the dark skinned boy John had fought with previously.

“I am Wells” he introduced himself with a kind smile on his face.

“Marie” she responded curtly and turned her attention to him “I think you're right by the way, we should start to build shelters.”

Wells seemed to be perplexed for a moment before he answered with a charming smile on his features “So you’re a smart one obviously.”

Marie puffed out her chest proudly at the compliment for a moment.

“I am sorry John was mean to you” Marie continued now assured that the other boy seemed nice enough.

Wells bestowed a sloppy side grin to her and shrugged his shoulders “I had not really anticipated to be popular among the other criminals.”

Marie scoffed, she did not like the way he labelled them all as criminals. Sure in one way or another all of them were criminals, but most of them were held in prison for petty crimes, only a few had really done anything more serious than stealing or taking drugs.

Wells tried to explain himself when he noticed the girl's reaction, but Marie blocked his rambling out and laid down on the soft moss under the tree. It was turning dark anyway she thougt, so she should try to sleep.

Her laying down shut the boy up and he just offered to keep her company. She had not actually given him a verbal response, but he stayed with her silently keeping watch over their surroundings. 

After a few hours of sleep Marie suffered the same nightmare that plagued her every night. She saw the blurry shape of her father standing in the airlock and being sucked out into space. She saw her mother getting sick again, getting thinner and weaker in front of her while the medicine failed her. She saw herself being caught in the med bay. She was thrown into her cell again and she felt the same fear again. The fear of the uncertain future, the fear for her mother, the fear of the silence and of being alone. She saw herself standing in front of the door of the cell crying, kicking and screaming to be let out again. But no one ever came, no one ever answered her pleas.

“Hey, wake up” a voice was penetrating her consciousness and a hand was gently shaking her shoulder.

Marie bolted upright and looked around with wide frightened eyes. She noticed Wells still sitting next to her.

“It’s ok. It was only a dream” the boy tried to soothe the obviously shaken girl.

Marie shook her head vigorously as she fought off her tears. She knew it was not a dream, only her worst memories packed together into one nightmare.

“Try to even your breaths” the boy tried to get her attention again and his tone was soothing “Breath in … and out”.

After a few moment she managed to match her breathing to his words and gave him a smile full of gratitude.

Before she could really utter a thanks, they heard a commotion coming from the camp. Both of them stood up immediately and followed the noises.

The blonde girl had returned from her quest to Mount Weather with her companions. The girl who was the first to set foot on earth was wounded and leaned onto another boy. They did not seem to carry any supplies, so Marie gathered that they had not reached their destination and she also noticed that one boy was missing who had accompanied them.

Marie blinked when she heard their stories. They seemed to have been attacked by either humans or mutant monkeys. She thought that humans would probably be more likely. The blonde girl, whose name was Clarke, wanted to directly go back in search of the missing boy. John and the other guy more or less volunteered to accompany her. Marie did not even suggest to go with them, if they were facing a possible threat no one would be willing to take on a kid.

So, Marie went through the crash site again and passed a fire where some of the teenagers had gathered into a line and were smashing their wristbands with stones to get them off. Marie internally wondered who might have succeeded in lighting this fire. She just shook her head and shrugged of one guy who wanted her to join them and retreated back to the border of the camp. She had heard the others speaking of a river and a lake they had encountered, so there must be water somewhere in the other direction. Silently debating in her head whether she should venture out in search of the river on her own or not, she fell asleep again and only woke up, when they could hear the return of a group who had departed to hunt and look for the missing boy in the time she had slept.

The group had brought back a dead animal and the meat was now distributed to the ones willing to have their wristbands removed. It seemed they had been unsuccessful to locate the missing boy. Marie mused how they might have managed to kill the animal, but she did not voice her question.

Marie actually had nothing against losing her wristband, it was still aching and no one on the Ark would care if she lived or died anyway. So, her hunger won out and she joined the others in the queue.

Having a stone smashed onto it turned out to hurt pretty much and she rubbed her tender wrist gently before receiving her ration of the panther.

She gingerly took her first bite and felt like moaning out loud at the taste. It felt so much better than anything she had ever tasted before. Food on the Ark had mostly been done synthetically and could not compare to this fresh meat by far.

When it started to rain they also could quell their thirst and Marie felt as if they were in heaven now. She had envisioned rain to be somewhat different. It turned out to be just wet and pretty cold, but at least it was water.

But once she was soaked through, she started to shiver from the sudden cold and got into the dropship with the others to seek some shelter. The space was soon crowded, but at least it was dry and warmer than outside and Marie tried to find a comfortable spot to lie down.

Starting to drift off again, she tried to envision how their lives would continue now on earth. She envisioned a peaceful future for them.

What a childish and impossible fantasy as she later had to learn.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 2  
> John and Marie return to the camp unsuccessfully when night starts to set in. Marie gets to know Murphy’s unfriendly side when he fights with Wells. Clarke’s group returns from the search of Mount Weather with a wounded Octavia and without Jasper. Everyone is now aware that there might be other human beings on earth. The 100 distribute meat from a panther for those willing to take of the wristbands, which Marie does. The girl gets to know Wells a bit before the small group returns with a wounded Jasper and seeking shelter from the rain the 100 gather in the drop ship.

On the next morning Bellamy made them all work to erupt a wall around the crash site of the dropship for security with the possible threat of other humans and wild animals in the woods. Marie wondered what exactly the small group had encountered the previous day.

John seemed to have climbed in his grace during the trip the day prior and was not really doing work himself, but shouting orders around for the others to follow. Marie watched him disbelievingly. He had told her, his father's mantra was to try to be better. She didn’t know for sure what being better really entailed, but she was sure running around giving orders and bullying everyone would not fulfil the criteria.

As she was viewed as being too weak to physically do much, she was told to help to ration some nuts a group of the others had gathered yesterday. The work was boring and monotone, so that she could still watch what the others were doing at the same time.

Bellamy seemed to have taken a liking to the other younger girl named Charlotte in the group of delinquents. She was still a few years older than Marie herself. Marie had assumed that the two of them could get closer to each other, as they were the only ones truly close in age, but Charlotte did not show any interest to socialise with her, so Marie backed away again.

Not many had heeded Wells’ advice from the evening before to set up things to collect the rain water, so that they were falling short on water again only a few hours later.

Nevertheless, John gave her some sips of the water without questions asked and even a friendly smile on his face. So, Marie was completely baffled when another guy asked for water and seemed to be denied, instead John shouted at him to continue working. When John finally peed on the boy, Marie was completely horrified. What horrified her even more, were the laughing faces she saw around her as a reaction from the other 100.

The boy did not get the chance to retaliate to John, as the doctors’ daughter and her group made their re-entrance to camp, with an unconscious boy. So, they had found the missing guy, who had been attacked the day prior.

As the girl shouted for someone to bring them clean water, Marie immediately jumped into action. She wasn’t of much help anyway, as all the nuts had already been evenly distributed into small rations and stored away.

After bringing water into the dropship, Marie lingered there uncertainly.

The boy injured looked horrible. He was pale and sweaty and had a huge hole in his chest. The doctors’ daughter tried to clean the wound as best as she could and made the boy drink some water.

Marie watched her working carefully. The guy’s best friend was also sitting there and pleading her to save his life.

“Clarke, please, save Jasper” the boy kept on repeating desperately. Marie had known both boys by sight, as all three of them had been born into Farm Station, but she had not had any real contact with them.

The blonde girl nodded “I am doing all I can, Monty. Jasper is strong, he’ll survive. I don’t know what they put onto his wound, it has to have some antibiotic properties.” But Marie internally thought that her eyes looked unsure and her voice shook slightly.

The girl, who had been hurt yesterday also came into the dropship and sat down next to Monty trying to calm him down.

All calm was forgotten, as Jasper woke up and started to scream at the top of his lungs. Marie startled when his screaming began, he must be in horrible pain from the huge wound.

“Don’t we have some pain killer?” she asked timidly. Marie did not like to watch someone suffer being of watching her mother suffer for weeks.

Clarke shook her head, frustration etched deep into her features “They did not really pack us any kind of medical equipment. So, there are no painkillers.”

A few moments later Jasper lost his consciousness again and the silence that followed was heavenly for their ears.

Marie left the dropship again, wondering silently if Jasper would even wake up again and looked around the crash site. The fence the others were trying to erupt had made great progress. But Marie doubted it would be of any use if they were to be attacked. They still did not know what exactly they were facing anyway.

The next hours were difficult around the camp, Jasper woke up every few minutes and screamed non-stop. Some of the other teenagers were already loudly asking for him to be killed, they obviously believed he could not survive anyway.

Marie could not listen to them anymore and left the camp on her own unnoticed, trying to search for the river again. They needed more water and the others had found it yesterday, so she was positive she could find it as well.

She wandered around the woods on her own peacefully. Marie did not want to believe, that the inhabitants of the earth were really out to kill them and she had walked around the day before as well without encountering anyone. It was still too hard to understand that there were survivors at all.

The woods were really beautiful and the air was so fresh, without the smell of disinfectants clinging to it like on the Ark and Marie hoped that an environment so pure and astonishing like this, could not have formed survivors who would just kill them on first sight.

After some time Marie heard rustlings behind her and tried to hide behind some trees. Marie had no idea, if the noises could be caused by another animal or one of the other humans on earth. The sounds got louder and Marie barely could duck out of the way of a blade that all of sudden came flying her way.

“Damn! I could have killed you! No one was supposed to leave the camp on their own!” a guy she did not know reprimanded her sharply and Marie looked at him with widened eyes. Behind him Bellamy and others of his group appeared, they were obliviously trying to hunt.

“Sorry” she answered weakly still shaking a bit from the shock and getting back to her feet shakily.

“You okay?” Bellamy asked her kindly, worry apparent in his eyes.

Marie nodded her head mutely and brushed of her clothes as she stood.

Somewhere in the distance a horn was blown suddenly, startling all of them strongly.

“What was that?” Marie asked confused. She had no idea what kind of thing would produce such a strange sound.

Everyone looked clueless as yellow smoke suddenly came their way diffusing around the trees.

Bellamy immediately urged all of them to run and seek shelter from the strange yellow smoke. Bellamy grabbed her arm roughly and tugged her along.

By pure luck they found a bunker and sought shelter there, being safe from the strange smoke. One boy did not reach the door in time and Marie could hear him screaming a long time before he finally quitted.

“What was that?” Marie repeated her question with a horrified expression edged on her face.

“I would say it was acid fog” Bellamy suggested with a grime expression.

Marie swallowed, while the thoughts raced in her mind. How did spears and acid fog go together? Were there different people out there?

But she did not voice her thoughts aloud. The others were arguing about Jasper. Bellamy seemed to be sure that Clarke would not be able to save his life and assured the others, that he would put an end to his misery the next day himself if he was still suffering. Marie dearly hoped he would be wrong and that Jasper had somehow recovered.

The waiting until the fog cleared seemed endless to Marie. The mood in the bunker was glum and Marie sat huddled into a dark corner trying to be invisible and blocking all of them out. She had slept a few hours on the hard and clammy floor only to be woken by Charlotte screaming from a nightmare. Bellamy spoke to her in a hushed tone and they all settled down again.

When the fog had finally cleared they were able to leave the bunker again. Most of them wanted to directly return to the dropship without pray.

Bellamy and two others wanted to continue their hunt and Marie left all of them on her own. She knew the general direction of the crash site and would find it on her own.

On the way she suddenly heard someone moaning in pain and ragged breathing. Following the sound Marie found the boy, who had not reached the bunker in time. She let out a loud involuntary scream.

He looked to have been burned nearly completely, his whole skin covered in blisters. His eyes were unseeing and opalescent and he was obviously in grave pain.

Bellamy, Charlotte and two others had followed her screams. Charlotte looked as horrified as she felt when she saw the dying boy lying on the ground.

“Get back to camp” Bellamy demanded harshly, his eyes not leaving the face of the boy on the ground.

Marie turned around and hurried away, while Charlotte lingered behind.

Marie had no intention of watching the boy die. She knew Bellamy would kill him, not even Clarke could do anything for him.

When she arrived back at the camp, night was falling around them. She could already hear Jasper screaming in the dropship. So, he had survived so far.

She went into the dropship. John was hammering onto the hatch to the upper level, while Jasper continued to scream in pain from above.

John stopped his hammering, when he saw Marie appearing in the dropship.

Before she could say something to John, Clarke appeared behind her completely breathless.

She climbed the ladder to the upper floor and demanded to be let up. She had found something to help him with the pain.

The girl who had been hurt let her in and a few minutes later the screaming from Jasper finally relented.

Marie listened on, praying that Jasper had survived and not died the moment Clarke tried to ease his pain.

She left the dropship again, the atmosphere in the small room had felt oppressing to Marie and she had needed to get out, so she sat down in front of it and was now able to watch the stars in the sky. Internally she noted just how different the stars looked now.

Marie fell asleep under the stars and managed a few hours of sleep before she was woken up by the sunlight on her face. She had never thought she would ever be seeing the stars or the sun from under it. No one of them had ever thought to reach the earth and here they all were.

The peaceful quietness did not remain for long though.

Wells had been killed in the night and his body had been found by a group who was supposed to head out to hunt. Wells had obviously been killed outside of the fence and it looked as if he had been killed by a grounder.

Marie felt truly sad to hear that he died. The boy had been nice to her. But he was gone now. She had already learned not to dwell on the people who were gone.

Clarke had been a close friend of his and she seemed to grieve him most. Some even seemed glad that he was dead. Marie thought it unfair to label him as chancellor just because his father was that.

A grave had been dug for Wells and he was buried together with the two boys, who had not survived the landing and the boy who had been killed by the acid fog.

Marie sat around the camp silently. Most of them were trying to craft weapons out of metal of the dropship and others were trying to make the fence stronger. Everyone was working on improving their defences.

But Marie highly doubted it would be enough. They did not even really know what they were facing.

Sometime later Clarke stormed to John angrily shouting that he should be punished for killing Wells.

Marie did not want to believe what she heard. John had been cruel sometimes to the others, but she hoped that he was incapable of actual murder.

Obviously his dagger engraved with his initial had been found where Wells had been killed.

Marie watched on horrified as some of the delinquents started to gang up on Murphy.

“You are killing him” Marie tried to stop them desperately, but was rebuffed directly.

Bellamy and Clarke were arguing with each other about what to do. Marie had thought with leaving the Ark they had left behind a world where you were directly killed for your crimes.

It was as if they were wild beasts, demanding each other’s blood loudly.

It ended when Bellamy tried to hang John and Charlotte screamed that she was the guilty one.

Marie looked at her with her mouth hanging open. Why had she killed Wells?

The boy who had survived unfastening his seat belts in the dropship finally cut John from the ropes before he suffocated and he landed on the ground with a heavy thud. Coughing hard to get air back into his lungs. His face was bloody and swollen where they had hit him.

Clarke and the boy who had cut John free had taken Charlotte into a tent and were arguing loudly.

“Are you okay?” Marie asked as she approached John. She knew her question was stupid, it sounded lame even to her own ears, but she nevertheless wanted to show support to John.

But John just looked at her as if she had lost her mind and shoved her away harshly and charged behind Clarke and Charlotte, loudly demanding justice.

Most of the others did not seem to agree that Charlotte should be sentenced to death, as they had only moment ago demanded for John.

But some supported his claim. When they saw that Charlotte was gone, they went into the woods in search of her.

Marie remained behind at the camp horrified by the events of the day.

Marie did not know what to do now, so she went back into the dropship to check on the wounded Jasper.

He was conscious again and fortunately looked to be in a much better condition now.

“You’re looking better” Marie just wanted to talk to someone in order to forget everything at least for a few moments.

“I will survive. Thanks kid” Jasper smiled at her with a goofy smile.

“My name is Marie” she supplied annoyed. She did not like being reminded that she was the youngest by far.

“Sorry Marie” Jasper relented with a slight sigh.

“What happened outside? I heard a commotion” Jasper asked her after a moment of silence.

Marie’s eyes filled with tears as she recalled what had happened.

Jasper’s expression mirrored her feelings.

“We are spiralling down very fast” was Jasper's last comment.

Marie could only nod in agreement and hoped silently that their situation would improve in the next days.

Hours later the others returned. Charlotte had killed herself by jumping off a cliff and John was to be exiled now. All of Marie’s protests fell on deaf ears and John was literally shoved out of the camp in the dead of the night.

Marie stood behind unsure of what to do. She thought his sentence unfair. Charlotte had killed herself even Clarke had backed up that fact.

So, she finally made her decision and followed John into the woods unnoticed by the other delinquents hoping to be fast enough to catch up to him.

Later she would recognize this decision as the one, which had changed her life completely. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 3  
> The delinquents try to strengthen their defences where Marie seed Murphy bully the others even more. Clarke and her group have found the wounded Jasper and leave again to search for a natural pain killer. Marie leaves the camp and collides with Bellamy and a group out to hunt when the acid fog appears. Bellamy guides all of them except for one boy into it for shelter where they wait. The atmosphere in the camp is tense before Clarke returns with a way to help Jasper. Wells has been killed the night before and Clarke blames Murphy. He gets nearly hanged before Charlotte admits to have killed Wells. Marie stays at the camp when the others follow Charlotte. She hears later that the girl killed herself and Murphy is now supposed to be exiled because of that. Unnoticed by the others she follows John into the woods leaving the delinquents.

Chapter 4

Marie stumbled through the darkness of the woods. No one of the others had tried to hold her back, she wasn’t even sure anyone had seen her disappear at all. Probably no one would miss her back at the camp anyway.

She did not exactly have any plan on what to do now. Her only real plan was trying to find John. The problem was that she had no idea where John might have gone.

Marie kept on with her search and started to call out for John. She tried to continue her way without changing directions too often fearing she would start to go in circles otherwise.

“John!” Marie shouted for what felt like the thousands time. She stopped to listen if he responded but she was greeted with silence again.

Marie pulled her jacket closer around her thin frame starting to regret leaving the camp in the night on her own. With every passing moment her hopes of catching up with John were decreasing rapidly. Marie was starting to doubt that she left the camp in the right direction at all.

On the other hand Marie had absolutely no idea how far away the crash site was right now and she feared she would only wander in the wrong direction if she turned back now.

Her eyes filled with tears of frustration. She could barely see few meters ahead as it was a nearly moonless night.

Disappointed in herself for not being able to locate John Marie huffed and let herself sink down against a tree trunk hopelessly.

The night was cold and Marie started to shiver without the warmth moving around had caused. She had not even thought to bring a blanket or anything else.

Marie started to dose of huddled against the tree when she was jolted awake by a scream from somewhere in the woods.

She followed the noise, now also hearing a commotion. Someone was obviously struggling. Marie increased her tempo hoping it was John fighting of an animal.

But Marie was not prepared for the sight that met her.

John was surrounded by two large humans. Marie could not see their faces as they were covered with a sort of a mask.

John stood no chance against his attackers and was overpowered immediately. Marie took one step in their direction and a branch under her foot snapped rather loudly.

One of the men had taken the now unconscious John over his shoulder. The other had whirled around in her direction at the sound of the snapping branch and run towards her now.

Marie was frozen in shock. She knew she would never be able to fight against someone as big as her opponent and trying to run in the darkness would not help much as well.

As he got nearer to her, her survival instincts kicked in and she tried to run anyway.

Unfortunately Marie did not get away very far. She stumbled and fell down, hitting her head against a rock on the ground. She was still lying dazed on the floor when her attacker caught up with her and roughly grabbed her from the ground. The guy carried her over his shoulder. Marie tried to struggle against the hold but he only strengthened his hold on her thin body.

As she hung over the shoulder of the guy her only thought was, that she had obviously found John in the end and inhabitants of the earth.

The unknown people started to converse in a hushed tone. Marie did not catch any words she could recognize.

Maybe the survivors on the ground were speaking another language Marie wondered silently.

Marie tried to see how John was doing but from her position it was impossible for her to see him.

She had no idea how far they were carried. But she did feel how fast they were moving. The grounders obviously had no problem to navigate through the darkness of the woods.

It could have been several hours later or just an hour when they finally reached some sort of village. Marie could hear some people moving around but it was mostly silent.

They were brought into some sort of cell and dumped onto the floor ruggedly.

Murphy scrambled to his knees immediately and tried to follow one of the men who had brought them into the cell before the cell’s door was closed in his face. He was just pushed back roughly from a man standing guard in front of the door landing on his but on the hard floor.

He let out a grunt of pain and tried to open the cell’s door with force after getting up again.

Marie stayed on the floor and looked around.

The cell was underground and she could see the dark sky through the cell’s bars. The floor seemed to have been tiled and was dirty littered with dry leaves. The bars on which John was still searching for a way out looked old but they proved to be solid still. On the other side of the bars a guard was standing watch. Marie was unable to see the guard’s face as he was wearing a terrifying looking mask.

As the minutes ticked by and John was still trying to break the bars open and the guard did not seem the littlest bit fazed by his tries Marie tried to discourage his attempts to escape.

“John, I don’t think you’ll be able to break them open” Marie tried to get John’s attention and stood up to get nearer to the other boy.

John whirled around and glared at her with a murderous expression. So Marie took a step back immediately and let herself slide down the wall and sat down again, pulling her arms tight around her midriff to get warm.

“Just shut the fuck up!!!” John shouted loudly clearly angry. When Marie jerked at his raised voice John calmed down again slightly.

“Sorry, Marie” John pulled his fingers through his hair to calm down further.

Marie just nodded silently. They were both scared to death so she would not take his shouting personally for now.

John sat down across from her abandoning the bars for now. “What were you doing alone in the woods anyway?”

Marie shrugged unwilling to admit having tried to locate him now that he had been so harsh towards her.

After a few minutes of silence she finally admitted that she had wanted to follow him, so that he would not be completely alone either.

“Oh damn. I had no idea” John said as an apology for his behaviour earlier.

Marie just gave him a little smile and looked back to the guard, she was sure he would be listening in on to their conversation, if they were speaking the same language that is. But she could not see any reaction from him at all, he just stood there stock still, not moving an inch.

John had also seen the guard and was now glaring daggers at him.

“Let us out! We haven’t done anything!” John demanded loudly in the direction of the guard.

His shouting was only met by silence as the only reaction. Marie was starting to doubt that the people here could speak English at all.

“I don’t know if they understand our language. I didn’t understand a thing when they spoke with each other” Marie explained to John.

John just kept on glaring at the guard. There was nothing in the cell they could use to break the bars and he had felt how solid they were. Even without the guard on post he would not be able to break free by physical force alone.

They fell silent again as they waited for something to happen and the minutes seemed to tick by ever so slowly. Marie started to shiver in the cell. The night was still cold and none of them had more than a thin shirt and a light jacket and some long trousers. John took of his jacket and offered it to Marie to keep her warmer.

Marie gratefully took the offered jacket. It was big enough to be used as blanket for her and she stopped shivering soon after.

“Please tell me, if you’re cold and want the jacket back” Marie thanked John with a grateful smile.

John just shook his head “Keep it for now. You’re younger and will get sick sooner.”

Suddenly there were footsteps approaching from the other side of the bars. The guard turned around and nodded in greeting to the arrivals.

Marie was unable to see how many people had arrived as they were still standing in the shadows. She could hear them conversing in hushed whispers before the door was opened with a creak.

Five people entered. Two women and three men. The men were also wearing some kind of masks and were walking directly to John and yanking him up from the floor. John tried to struggle against them but he was dragged away as if he were nothing more than a little doll.

Marie looked at the scene with frightened eyes. It was obvious that they stood no chance at escape or to fight back. These people were obviously physically stronger and trained to fight.

The women were eying here both with different expressions. The dark skinned woman looked at her as if she was looking at dirt which had personally offended her. The blond woman looked rather neutral maybe even interested, as if she was looking at an unsolved puzzle.

Marie just silently starred back at them not sure what would be the best thing to do.

The dark skinned woman said something to the other and Marie just now saw they were both armed with swords. The dark skinned woman took her sword out of its sheath and took a threatening step in Marie’s direction.

The other woman spoke some harsh words and the dark skinned woman reluctantly put her sword away again, turned on her heels and stormed out of the cell.

Marie was still focused on the spot the other woman had just stood in, when the blond woman started to speak.

Marie did not understand the words and just shook her head.

The strangers’ expression turned from interested to suspicious.

“Where are you from, girl?” she demanded to know in a harsh voice that demanded answers immediately.

Marie looked at her with a slightly open mouth, so these people were able to speak English but spoke another language as well.

As the woman’s suspicion turned into a threatening glare, Marie hurried to respond “From the ark”

“From the ark?” the woman questioned back her features hardening even more “Mountain?!”

Marie shook her head resolutely.

“The ark is a space ship” Marie tried to explain.

“Space?” the woman’s confusion seemed to grow.

“In the sky?” Marie tried. It wasn’t accurately correct, but the explanation would have to do.

The woman’s expression was a mix of disbelief and suspicion now.

“You mean to tell me, you fell from the sky?”

Marie just shrugged helplessly, after all they kind of did fall from the sky in the drop ship.

“The strange star that fell from the sky?” came the next question.

“It wasn’t a star. It was the drop ship. We were sent down in the drop ship from the ark” Marie tried to explain better.

The woman’s eyes turned to the still dark sky shortly and then she returned her gaze to Marie’s face.

“How many of you are there?”

“Here? On earth?” Marie questioned back.

The woman just nodded.

“100 of us were sent down” Marie answered truthfully. She had the feeling that lying would not help her now.

In the distance she could suddenly hear a pained scream and goose bumps formed on her arms. She had the pressing suspicion that John was emitting those screams. Before she had the chance to plead for her friend the questions continued coming.

“Why were you sent down?”

“We were sent down to see if earth was survivable” Marie answered.

The woman’s expression had now turned alarmed.

“How many of you are left in the sky and will they follow you?”

Marie shrugged with an uncertain expression “I don’t know how many people are living on the ark but I guess more than 2,000 people”

The stranger’s expression had turned even more alarmed with this new information.

“What do you want on earth?”

Marie just looked at her helplessly “To live. The ark is dying.” She would not be able to answer specific questions about the ark. She had no real idea about those things, she was just repeating things she had heard others say.

“What is your name and how many summers have you seen?” the stranger continued her questioning.

“I am Marie” the girl answered “I haven’t seen any summer, there are no seasons on the ark.”

“How old are you then?” the woman rephrased her question.

“I have just turned nine years old” Marie answered now able to understand what was asked of her.

“Still a goufa then” came the thoughtful response. Marie gathered that “goufa” must be a term for a child.

In the distance the screams were growing louder and more intense.

Marie looked at the stranger with a pleading expression “Please don’t hurt him!”

The stranger seemed unimpressed of her pleading and just flatly ignored her.

Marie was aware that she could not do anything for John, but it just crossed her mind that her destiny was unclear as well “What will be happening to me?”

The woman looked at her some more before she answered “We will see. But for now you will live.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 4  
> Marie searches in the woods for Murphy and finally finds him being overpowered by two warriors. They are both taken capacitive and brought to a village where they are put into a cell. John gets taken out of the cell to be questioned while Marie is questioned by Anya. She answers the woman’s questions truthfully and is told that she will live for now.

Chapter 5

The woman turned away from Marie and shouted an order in the strange language.

A girl came out of the shadows joining them in the cell and answered in the same language and sat down across from Marie.

The girl seemed to be only a few years older than her, but there was a sword dangling from her hip. She nodded to the other stranger and the woman disappeared, closing the door of the cell behind her.

The girl stared at her silently. She had wavy brown hair and brown eyes and Marie would estimate her to be around 13 years old.

“I am Tris by the way” the girl broke the silence and introduced herself in English.

Marie looked at her and introduced herself as well, even if she guessed that Tris must have been near enough the cell to listen on in her interrogation.

Tris nodded and stated “I knew your name already”.

Marie did not know what to say to that statement so she stayed silent.

“Are you really from the sky?” Tris asked and her interest seemed honest.

Marie shrugged “From the sky is not really correct. The Ark is in space, which would be behind the sky.”

The girl looked impressed and she also looked into the dark night sky for a few minutes.

“What is living in the sky like?” the girl would obviously continue the interrogation.

When Marie stayed silent, because she did not think she would have to respect a girl barely older than herself as she did with adults, Tris continued with a light smile “You don’t have to answer. This isn’t an official interrogation or anything, I am just interested.”

Marie observed her for a moment longer before she accepted her words for the truth.

“I don’t know what living on earth is like, so I can’t compare it with living in space. But the Ark is cold, sterile and everything is pretty crowded” Marie tried to explain her experiences of the Ark.

“Can’t you see the stars from up close then?” the girl continued her onslaught. Marie just now noticed the silence around them, John had stopped his screaming. They had either stopped his torture or he had passed out. Marie hoped the first option to be the correct assumption.

“Yeah, you can see the stars and the moon. But I always liked the view of the earth the most” Marie recalled.

“And what does the earth look like from the sky?” the girl wanted to know next.

“The earth is huge. A round planet surrounded by clouds, with a lot of blue and green” Marie answered. It was true, she had liked seeing the earth best while she dreamt about what it would be like walking on the earth.

“Do you know what will happen to me?” Marie tried to ask her own question for a change. The woman’s answer had not been reassuring for her in the slightest.

Tris now shrugged “I don’t know for sure. But you are still just a child, I don’t think you’ll be killed.”

Marie’s eyes widened in fright. She had not really thought that these people would be as cruel as to just kill them for being here.

Tris just continued as if she had not seen Marie’s reaction “Indra had wanted to kill you without speaking to you, but Anya refused to kill a child just like that. You are still alive so I guess, that she likes you somehow.”

“Now that is reassuring” Marie responded drily trying to cover her fear with sarcasm.

Tris laughed as if she did not have a single concern in the world “Tell me more about your life in the sky or why you were sent down.”

Marie just rolled her eyes aware that Tris had listened to her conversation with Anya.

“We were obviously deemed expendable by the Ark. They sent down 100 juvenile criminals to see if they can survive on the earth.” Marie finally said bitterly speaking those thoughts aloud for the first time.

Tris now did look impressed “You are all criminals? What have you done than?”

“On the Ark crimes were all punished by death. Only kids under the age of eighteen are put into jail and either floated later or re-integrated into society.” Marie explained. Tris looked rather confused as if she had not understood everything she had just been told.

“I have been put into jail for breaking into the med bay and stealing medicine for my mother” Marie continued her story with a sad glint in her eyes.

“You are killed for getting healing for a loved one?” Tris questioned obviously shocked.

“Everything on the Ark is rationed. We only have so much for everyone and my mum did not get better with the medicine. So I tried to help her.” Marie tried to explain. The laws on the Ark were absolutely relentless and a lot of the times unjust.

“Most of the other 100 have been put into prison for little things. Like taking drugs or stealing. I think only a few have done bad things” Marie continued.

Tris nodded as a response and stayed silent for a moment, obviously thinking about what she wanted to ask next and processing what she had learned so far.

Before Tris could utter her next question Marie beat her to it “And what is live on earth like?”

Tris shrugged her shoulders “It is all I know. Life can be short and harsh here.”

“All is so colourful here” Marie added with shining eyes, still intrigued by the beauty of the nature surrounding them “And what are you doing?”

“I am Anya’s second” Tris explained with a puffed out chest. As Marie looked at her confused, unsure what the term meant, Tris added “I am training under her to become a warrior.”

“How old are you, Tris?” Marie asked with wide eyes. The girl looked much too young to become a warrior already.

“I have seen my twelfth summer this year” Tris answered truthfully “But I started my training under Anya in my fifth summer.”

Marie stared at her disbelievingly. They started to train little children as warriors?

Tris obviously interpreted Marie’s expression as disbelief and she pulled her shirt down revealing five scars on her shoulder.

“This are kill marks” Tris explained with pride in her voice “I have earned them by killing others in battle.”

Marie could not believe the words she had just heard. This girl had already killed five other people and she seemed to be proud of it.

As Marie did not want to offend her, she just nodded mutely. Life on earth must really be harsh if children were part of battles.

After a few moments of strained silence Marie asked “Do all of you train to become warriors?”

Tris shook her head “No. Some become healers, hunters or traders. Or learn other professions.”

Marie was fascinated by this piece of new information. So the people on the ground had some kind of community structure that must be working. None of them seemed starved, so they were doing relatively well. She had not seen any sign of electricity so maybe the people on earth did not use technology any more.

She looked at the sword fastened onto the others girls hip “You do not have guns?”

Tris looked horrified for a moment before she shook her head resolutely “Guns are forbidden. It is said that if a warrior picks up a gun their village will burn down.”

Marie blinked at her owlishly. But she gathered that the population of the earth must all share their dislike for guns. With a sword you would not be able to fight an army with guns so they must share their way of fighting.

John’s screaming started again in some distance and Marie pulled her arms tighter around her body.

“Why are your people hurting John?” Marie asked with a worried expression.

“He must be unwilling to answer their questions” came the simple reply from Tris. She seemed completely untouched by his screaming as if this was not the first time she was exposed to torture to get information.

“Will he be killed?” Marie continued in a whisper unsure if she really wanted to know the answer to this question.

Tris shrugged her shoulders “I don’t know. But it is a possibility. If he does not have any further use, probably.”

Marie turned paler after hearing Tris’ response. The female warrior who had spoken to her before had specifically pointed out that Marie was still a child and Marie doubted that John would be seen as a child by them as well.

What use could he have to this strangers? What use could she have?

“Why I am still alive then?” Marie wondered with horror underlining her voice.

Tris grinned mischievously as she answered “Anya seemed to like you. But the commander will decide what is to happen with both of you.”

“The commander?” Marie pressed on unfamiliar with the term.

“Oh, sorry, sure you can’t know that” Tris answered and explained “The commander leads the coalition of the twelve clans. The commander will arrive here at dawn.”

Marie looked up at the bars between the cell and the sky. It was still pitch-black outside so dawn was probably still a few hours away. Marie swallowed forcefully, in a few hours a stranger would decide if she was killed or allowed to stay alive. If she was allowed to live what would her life turn into? If she was killed she prayed it would be a quick and painless death. All she could do now was wait. This inability to do anything made everything worse.

Her stomach growled rather loudly. She had eaten the last thing in the morning. The third time in only a few days here life had been turned upside-down. The morning seemed a life time ago and her happy times on the Ark seemed to be a completely different life now.

Tris had obviously picked up on her glum thoughts and tried to divert them with telling her some stories about her own life.

Marie listened on intently. Tris had been born into a small village near the border to Azgeda. Marie had no idea what Azgeda was, but she gathered it was a clan this people had fought many battles with. Tris’ parents had been killed in an attack on the village when Tris was four. Only a few children survived the attack and the village had been burnt to the ground. Anya had been sent to look for survivors and had taken the young child in for training.

From the stories Tris told her the adoration Tris felt for Anya was clear to Marie. Her life seemed simple without the luxuries technology had to offer. But these people were obviously content with their lives.

Marie wondered if the population from the Ark would be able to adapt to living without electricity. Most of the people there were completely dependent of the technology. It was just part of their life and in everything that surrounded them on the Ark.

But from the stories Marie also could definitely gather that life on earth was harsh. The people here were used to fight battles for their survival. Warriors often died young in battle. Their medicine or the healers were obviously not able to heal many wounds. Losing a limp in battle meant that the warriors could not fight anymore. But the villages seemed to take care of their inhabitants and everyone was doing what they could to contribute.

Marie constantly compared Tris’ experiences to her own. Sure the Ark had technology, but it was so constricted that everything was rationed and space was short. Here people had more than one child in a family as many children died in their early years. On the Ark if you could not life by the rations you were entitled no one would help you.

All Marie could do now was pray that their commander would decide to let her life. She really wished to get the possibility to see more of the earth and the lives of its inhabitants.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 5  
> Marie gets to know Anya’s second Tris. The girl is interested in Marie’s live in the sky and tells Marie stories of her own life in return. Tris reveals that the commander who is supposed to arrive soon decides what is to happen to Murphy and Marie.

Chapter 6

Dawn came quicker as Marie had thought possible. Tris’ mindless chatter had distracted her well over the last hours.

As it grew brighter in the sky above them Marie was starting to feel more agitated by the second.

Tris picked up on the shift in her mood and smiled at her softly.

“I don’t know when the Commander will arrive exactly” Tris explained with an apologetic expression.

As Marie’s stomach growled again Tris’ stomach joined in. Laughing lightly the girl stood up from the floor and brushed her pants down.

“I’ll see if I can get some food for us” with this words Marie was left alone in the cell again. The guard returned to his post outside of the cell and fixed her with his stare under his mask.

John’s screams had stopped hours ago and Marie wondered if he was still alive at all. She knew that she was on her own here. Only her own life must matter now to her. She knew that none of the delinquents would be willing to search for her as she had left on her own.

Marie started to fidget around nervously. The minutes seemed to tick by ever so slowly again now that she was alone. What if the commander would not come at all? Would she be killed then?

Sometime later Tris returned with a plate in one hand and balancing two mugs in the other. The guard opened the door for her and closed it again disappearing into the shadows behind the bars of the cell.

She had a soft smile on her face and sat down gracefully across from Marie. Tris put the plate down on the floor between them and handed Marie a mug.

Marie put it to her lips immediately and started to gulp down the water in the mug.

Tris looked at her alarmed “Slow down or it will come back up after.”

Marie tried to slow down but only seconds later the mug was drained and she put it down with a sorrowful expression.

Tris shoved her mug over to Marie “Take it as well. I can get more for us later.”

Marie nodded at her thankfully and focused her attention on the plate in front of them. There was some meat on sticks, some bread, something Marie thought might be cheese and some fruit she did not know.

“Take whatever you want” Tris offered with a soft smile.

Marie took one of the sticks with meat cautiously and sniffed at it. It smelled divine. The Arkers were not used to meat at all.

Tris must have interpreted her hesitance differently and laughed “It is not poisoned if you fear that.”

As Marie shook her head Tris added with an evil grin “Poison would go better into water anyway.”

Marie nearly choked on the piece of meat she had bitten off a second ago.

“Just a joke” Tris added laughing at Marie’s horrified expression.

Suddenly the door to the ceiling was opened again and Anya strode into the cell with a glare on her face.

She spoke some harsh words to Tris and the girls’ smile froze on her face and she looked abashed.

Marie gathered that Tris must have given her food and water without gaining permission from Anya first.

She tried to defend the actions from the other girl to Anya “Please, don’t be hard on Tris. She was nice to me.”

Anya turned her glare to Marie and spoke some more words to Tris. The girl sprung to her feet and hurried out of the cell without another word to either of them.

After a moment of heavy silence Anya also left the cell. With relief Marie noted that Anya had left her with the mug of water and the plate full of food.

The guard returned to his post nearer to the bars and Marie ate some of the food in complete silence. Trying to keep her attention focused on chewing and swallowing only.

Now she could really just wait for something to happen. Marie was cautious not to drink and eat everything Tris had given her at once, who knew when she would get another ration.

With nothing to do but wait and lose herself in the fears of what would happen to her, Marie started to count the old tiles on the wall to keep distracted.

Her focus wasn’t really good after a night with no sleep at all so she had to start anew every few minutes, but the mindless task of counting the tiles served its purpose and Marie forgot to worry about her future all together.

She was distracted from her counting when the door to the cell was pushed open again. Marie looked to the door and saw a young woman enter. Could this be the commander?

Marie did not think so. The woman looked too young to hold such a position of power. She had brown hair interwoven with different braids and wore armour not unlike what the others were wearing. As Marie looked straight back into the green eyes of the stranger she had to admit to herself that this woman seemed to radiate a strange kind of power. So she may be facing the commander after all right now.

Marie tried to sit up a bit straighter and taller.

“What are you doing on my land, skygirl?” the stranger inquired with a steely voice.

“I..” Marie started to stutter out her answer. This stranger made her nervous somehow. “We were sent from the Ark to see if the earth is survivable.”

The commander nodded with a bored expression “I knew that already from the boy that was found with you. I wanted to know why you left the safety of your camp.”

Marie opened and closed her mouth soundlessly for a moment unsure of what to answer. Finally she gathered her thoughts “John was banished from the camp. I did not want him to be alone.”

The woman looked incredulously at Marie “So you thought it was a good idea to follow him unarmed in the middle of the night.”

Marie just shrugged helplessly. Put that way her plan was really lacking a lot of thought. Even if they had not been abducted by these warriors, how should they have survived in the wild on their own?

“Why do your people try to reach the mountain?” the commander implored further.

Marie perked up, she could answer that question at least “We were told there might be a storage of food in Mount Weather. We did not get supplies from the Ark.”

“Your people will not find the help they seek there” the commander added.

Before the commander could formulate another question Marie cut in “What will happen to John and me?”

“You will not share the fate of the boy” the commander explained after a moment of heavy silence where Marie tried not to squirm under the intense gaze of the woman.

Marie looked at her horrified. Would they kill him?

“We do not harm the young. You will be allowed to stay and try to find a place within Trikru” the commander kept on explaining.

“And what about John?” Marie wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the honest answer. She was relieved to hear that she would be allowed to live.

“The boy will be sent back to your camp” the commander spoke with a hint of finality in her voice. Marie would not be told anything further obviously, but she wondered why these people would sent him back and let her stay. It occurred to her that the commander had not specified on the condition John would be in when he was sent back.

“Come” the commander ordered and turned around striding out of the cell without looking back.

Marie struggled to get up having sat on the cold stone floor for hours her legs were feeling weak and stiff. She tried to catch up to the commander as she did not seem inclined to wait for her.

They climbed some old stairs to get outside and Marie looked around with wonder in her eyes. The village or town was much larger than it had seemed in the dark. There were people everywhere going around their daily routine. When they saw the commander coming their way all would stop what they were doing and bowed deeply to the young woman.

Marie followed the commander silently, her eyes hurrying from one place to another trying to take in all the new sensations at once. She was so absorbed in looking around that she was oblivious to the glares some of the inhabitants were sending her way. She also did not notice as the commander stopped walking and abruptly bumped into the woman. She stumbled backwards from the impact and would probably have fallen on her ass if not for the arm of the commander shooting out and steadying her.

A warrior in their close proximity had taken his sword from his sheath and wanted to come for Marie.

Marie looked at the approaching warrior with wide eyes filled with fear. She had not bumped into the commander on purpose after all. As the man approached further the commander let go of her arm and made the man stop in his tracks with a simple gesture.

The commander let her gaze wander over the people around them, most of them looked worried.

“The girl will be our guest indefinitely. I expect all of you to welcome her into our midst” the commander let her voice carry through the village unwaveringly. As some people still eyed the girl with undisguised distrust, the commander added loudly “An attack against her will not be tolerated.”

The people all bowed their heads again and the commander turned back to Marie “You should watch out where you are going.”

Marie nodded mutely while her cheeks turned a slight pink.

The commander continued their way without another word and Marie was cautious to keep a better track of her steps but she could not completely stop her gaze from wandering around the village.

She was led towards a huge tent in the middle of the village which was flanked by several huge warriors. One of them opened the tent flaps for the commander and the woman stepped inside as Marie followed her.

The interior of the tent was covered with furs from different animals and a huge wooden throne sat at one end.

Anya was standing before the throne waiting together with the dark skinned woman that had wanted to kill her the previous night.

Anya looked at the commander with an expectant expression whereas the other woman looked slightly sour as she spotted Marie’s form behind the commander.

The commander strode through the tent wordlessly and sat down on the wooden throne “The girl will be allowed to stay.”

The dark skinned woman let out a strange snarl filled with disbelief and discontentment.

The commander’s eyes bored into the other woman’s “Do you got anything to say, Indra?”

The dark skinned woman started to speak rapidly in the language Marie was unable to understand.

The commander lazily silenced her with a gesture “Speak in gonasleng, Indra!”

Indra shot a look full of hate towards Marie “Why allow one to survive? We should kill them all right now. They are invaders of our land, Heda.”

“We do not simply slaughter children, Indra” the commander offered in a bored tone. “I decided she will stay, so she will stay!”

Marie was slightly confused why the young woman had so much power over others which were obviously older than herself. And she had absolutely no idea why Indra hated her so much already.

“The girl will need a first of course” the commander continued after Indra fell silent.

Anya nodded “I would gladly take her on.”

The commander regarded Anya for a moment and then nodded “You may have her. Keep a close eye on her, she is unfamiliar with our ways. Crimes out of ignorance won’t be tolerated for long.”

Anya nodded again “Yes, Heda. I will start right away.”

Anya turned towards Marie after the commander gave her assent “Come, you have much to learn.”

Marie nodded worriedly. These people obviously led a completely different life and she could only hope to adapt quickly enough to her new surroundings.

She followed Anya out of the tent and took the first steps into her new life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 6  
> Tris takes pity in Marie and gets food for both of them, for which she is immediately punished by Anya. Marie meet the commander later and is interrogated again. Lexa decides to let the girl stay with them and Anya will take the girl as her second.

Chapter 7

Anya guided her through the village silently. Marie just hoped that following the woman was the right thing to do.

After a few moments Anya came to a halt in front of a small wooden hut.

“You will get clothes suitable for your new status here” Anya explained and held the door open to Marie.

Marie entered the building and was met by an old woman. The woman’s skin was wrinkled from age and the exposure to the sun. In contrast to the reactions from the other inhabitants of the village the woman smiled first at Marie and then directed her glance towards Anya.

“Landed yourself with another one, did you?” the woman asked Anya with a playful tone.

Anya just nodded stiffly and gave the woman a look that clearly translated into “get on with it”.

“Come nearer, young one, and take off your clothes” the woman demanded with a gentle voice.

Marie blinked at her for a moment. Why would she need to strip in front of them?

“Can’t see what will fit you best under this loose clothes, girl” the woman explained when Marie hesitated a moment too long. Anya seemed rather impatient as well and the glare Anya sent her way made Marie spring into action finally.

Marie shrugged out of the jumper and the pants she was wearing but she kept her underwear and her boots on.

“A scrawny one, I see” the woman said when Marie was done with undressing.

Marie crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously. It was not her fault the rations on the Ark had been this small. When her mother was sick, they had tried to get extra medicine for all the rations they could spare. Later in the sky box the prisoners were fed only the minimum to keep them alive. Mostly two small meals a day and if there was a shortage of something the prisoners were the first to go hungry.

The woman had turned around and was looking through a pile of different clothing articles she had pulled from a cupboard behind her.

Anya did not spare Marie’s reaction any attention and tapped her feet impatiently on the ground.

A few moments later she was handed different articles from the woman with the instruction to put them on.

Marie was a bit overwhelmed how to dress in this strange clothes. All of the clothes seemed to have been recycled from other clothing. Different materials had been mixed together and sometimes a piece of metal had also been added into the mix. The clothes all had various straps and buckles where Marie was unsure how to fasten them properly.

The woman finally stepped next to her and lend her a hand and fastened everything where it belonged.

“That should do” the woman said. She was obviously satisfied with the result.

Anya looked at Marie and nodded her consent to the clothes.

“Have some comfier ones and light armour for her sent to my tent as well” Anya ordered and without waiting for a reply from the woman turned around and left the building.

Marie was unsure if she should take her old clothes, but as she bend down to pick them up, she saw Anya turning around in the opened door.

“Leave them” Anya instructed “You will not need them anymore and they can be repurposed.”

Marie nodded feeling strangely numb leaving behind her only possessions from the Ark. But she knew that Anya was right. She would be integrated into this culture and she would stand out even more in her old clothes from the Ark. But still it felt as if leaving the clothes behind would cement her leaving the delinquents completely.

The numb feeling left her the instant she had followed Anya out of the house after waving goodbye to the woman. The village was bustling with people still.

“Wow, we were taught humanity had died on earth after the bombs fell. But it is so … so alive here” Marie voiced the wonder she was feeling aloud.

Anya gave her a short mild smile as a reaction but kept them moving. They went through the village towards the tent where the commander had stayed. In the near proximity other tens were located. All of the other tents were slightly smaller. Anya guided her towards the second biggest tent.

“You will share a tent with me for now” Anya explained and showed her the inside of the tent.

The tent was definitely smaller. It had two areas, one Marie thought might be reserved for sleeping and a second area where a chest was standing and a small table and two chairs were located.

“Furs will be brought later for you to sleep on” Anya continued to speak.

Marie just nodded. She was still intrigued by this different kind of life and felt slightly overwhelmed.

“We will get something light for breakfast and start your training after” Anya said and turned from the tent.

Marie followed her through the village again. On the other side of the village Marie could see horses grazing. Marie was completely enthralled by the animals and stopped following Anya to observe the animals for a moment longer. She had never before seen a living animal except for the bird as there had been none on the Ark.

When Marie noticed that Anya had not waited for her she sprinted up behind her, promptly bumping into a huge warrior she had not noticed in her path.

The man turned around and before Marie knew what was happening, she was backhanded harshly from the stranger and lost her footing after the hard blow.

“Watch out, filthy invader!” the man sneered towering above her.

Only a second later the man was lying on the ground, with Anya kneeling above him pressing a blade to his neck.

“You will better watch out, Quint!” Anya hissed angrily at the man “The girl is under my protection now. Heda decided she will be my second and spread word around camp.”

The man regarded Anya with a sour expression but nodded and stood up when Anya let him.

He left without another word after shooting Marie another hateful glare.

“Making friends already?” Anya teased her new charge lightly.

Marie cast her eyes down onto the ground. She knew it was her own fault for not following close enough to Anya but fortunately the woman did not seem to be angry about that at all. The anger had faded out of her face all together after the man left them.

“Come” Anya ordered finally and they continued their way through the village now undisturbed.

They reached some buildings around a huge fire pit where smoke was coming from chimneys. Marie’s brain directly associated the smell with food and her stomach began to growl again.

Anya was given two plates of food and two mugs without having to ask for them.

Marie gathered that Anya must be pretty high-ranking within this village. Later Marie learned that Anya was one of the commander’s generals.

Anya sat down on some logs that had been placed next to the fire pit and motioned for Marie to do the same. She was handed one of the plates and one of the mugs from Anya.

The mug did not contain water this time as the liquid in it was of a slightly red colour.

Marie took a sip from the mug and had to cough at the taste, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “What is that?” Marie asked with a disdainful glare towards the mug.

Anya snorted “It is watered down wine. From your expression I gather you never tasted wine so far?”

Marie just nodded and still looked at the mug distrustfully.

“You will get used to the taste” Anya commented and continued with her own food. Water was not always safe to drink on the ground and wine was a common beverage.

The plate contained a strip of meat, a chunk of bread and some fruits again. Marry started with the red berries and let out a sound of delight at the taste.

“What are those?” she asked after taking a second one and savouring the taste on her tongue.

“Raspberries” Anya answered simply with the corners of her mouth curling upwards in the ghost of a smile.

Marie decided that she liked raspberries definitely better than the wine.

The rest of the meal continued in silence and shortly after Anya ushered her through the camp again towards the training pits.

The training pits was actually just some free space where wooden targets had been placed and borders were marked by some logs.

“I will need to test your skills first to start efficiently training you” Anya informed Marie.

Marie looked at the woman with a doubtful expression.

“If you mean skills to do with fighting” Marie started lamely “I don’t have any. Chlidren were not trained on the Ark.”

Anya looked slightly irritated by that statement but just nodded in the end “Then we will start with the basic skills.”

Basic skills for Anya obviously contained a perfect fighting stance for hand on hand combat to begin with.

For Marie it felt like hours before Anya was even mildly satisfied with the way Marie placed her feet and got into a slight crouch raising her hands up to defend her head.

Anya also made her run around the fighting pits and the woman was really irritated to see that Marie’s stamina was next to none existent.

But how should she have gotten stamina to begin with? There were no offers of sports on the Ark and she had been in the sky box for the last month. Her cell had been so small there was not much space to walk around in so most of the days she had not made more than a few steps from one wall to the other.

Marie was breathing heavily after only two rounds around the fighting pits. Some of the kids from the village who had eagerly wanted to watch the strange girl train where outright laughing at her and making fun of her.

Marie had to struggle not to let tears of frustration flow and bit her lips hard to get her breathing under control.

Anya had her arms crossed over her chest and was showing a slight glare on her face. The woman shook her head “You will just need to improve faster.”

Marie nodded mutely. She was feeling as if she was confronted with an impossible task. But she would try hard to improve and satisfy Anya’s expectations. She prayed they would not cast her out on the spot for being weaker than Anya had thought.

After all the training did end on a positive note as Anya handed her a dagger and told her to try to throw it at one of the wooden targets. Her dagger did not stay in the target and fell into the dirt but she had definitely not missed the target.

Anya nodded with a hint of satisfaction in her brown eyes “Good. When you improve your strength the daggers will be your first discipline. Your aim was well only the strength of the throw is lacking.”

Marie smiled proudly, she had a feeling that statements like this would be all the praise she might get from Anya. The woman seemed nice enough but definitely did not seem to be the cuddly type.

Nonetheless Marie was internally grateful when Anya told her that training would end for the day. Her limps were feeling heavy and her back hurt from the unfamiliar fighting stance.

Anya brought her back to the tent they would be sharing from now on, but told Marie she was allowed to roam through the village if she did not go into the woods on her own. Dinner would not be for another few hours and Anya obviously had other things to do than babysat her the whole time.

So Marie was left on her own in the unfamiliar surroundings. She stood in front of the tent undecided unsure of what to do. She had no intention to go into the woods. Anya had left her with the instruction not to get into trouble and Marie definitely was not planning to do that. She wanted to stay within her good grace as long as possible.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 7  
> Marie is given grounder clothing and parts with her last belongings from the Ark. Not all the inhabitants of the village are happy about their new guest but Anya lets word be spread that Marie is her second now. She shows the girl to the tent they will share from now on. Marie has her first training session revealing her lack of strength and stamina but also her natural talent in throwing knives.

Chapter 8

Marie did not feel like sleeping at the moment and she wondered where Tris might be, but she had not seen all of the village so far and had no idea where to search for the other girl. Without any other idea on what to do Marie turned around and went into the direction she had seen the horses earlier. Wanting to see them again up close now that she had the time.

It took Marie some time to find the horses again being so unfamiliar with the way through the rather huge village. But after some search she found what she had been looking for. The people she met on her way either ignored her completely, watched her with interest or turned away from her with distrust in their eyes. Word had obviously been spread that she was not to be harmed, so the people left her alone for now and fortunately no one tried to approach her this time.

There were different horses grazing on a patch of meadow that had been lined with a fence out of wood. Marie stood next to the fence and regarded the horses with eyes shining full of wonder. She had never seen any animals. There were no animals on the Ark. And these horses were absolutely huge and magnificent. She only knew that the creatures were named horses as she had seen pictures from the old world in a book her father brought her once.

The horse that intrigued her the most was a beautiful black creature. It was amazingly huge and had a white star on its head. When Marie stepped nearer towards the fence the horse stopped its grazing and also came nearer towards the fence regarding her with dark eyes. The mare raised its enormous head over the fence and sniffed at Marie’s face, blowing its hot breath over her face. Marie laughed lightly as the horses’ breath tickled her face. Cautiously Marie took her hand to the creature’s nose and let her fingertips graze over the soft skin of its nose. The mare whinnied a bit and nuzzled her hand in a way to tell her to pet her for a bit.

Marie obliged the silent command and looked at the animal in wonder when it felt as if the horse settled the weight of its head into her hand. 

After a few minutes the horse obviously had enough of her petting and went back to lazily grazing. Marie was slightly disappointed to have lost the animals attention so quickly. She made a few attempts to get the lost attention back and when her attempts all failed, Marie finally climbed through the fence onto the meadow the horses were grazing on.

The black horse looked up again after she stepped onto the soft grass and came back to her. Nuzzling its big head into her midriff with a huff.

Marie had only just begun to resume her previous petting when shouting from a few meters behind her began. A man was running towards the fence all the while gesturing animatedly and loudly screaming a command in the unfamiliar tongue Marie yet had to learn. Marie just blinked back at the man not understanding what he wanted. The man also climbed through the fence and came towards her with an expression screaming murder on his face for being ignored. To her wonder before the man could make a grab for her the horse she had been petting intervened. The creature blocked the man’s path and seemed to threateningly huff at the man and started to get on its hind legs kicking with the front legs as a warning.

The man seemed to be aware of the damage that the horse would be able to do if it wanted and went back through the fence quickly to avert the kicking front legs.

Marie looked on to the proceedings with a slightly open mouth. It seemed as if the horse had just protected her from the man. But why would a horse do that?

Before Marie or the man could do anything else a strong female voice cut in, sending the man away.

Marie had to look around the horse to see that the commander herself had been the origin of the voice. Marie chewed on her lips nervously, the reaction of the man had clearly shown her that she had done something she should not have done.

She started to apologize, but the commander waved her off.

“As it seems trouble seems to follow you, sky girl” the commander said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Marie pouted silently not knowing what she was allowed to say and she did not want to get into even more trouble and Anya would surely already be disappointed when she heard of her newest adventure.

The horse demanded her attention back and nuzzled her midriff again. Marie lightly scratched behind its ears.

“Curious. Touching my horses is forbidden for a reason, you know?” the commander continued “They normally do not let themselves be touched by anyone but me. They are trained against abductions.”

Marie looked at the young woman slightly shocked. The horse had been nothing if not friendly to her. Frightened of the severity of her sin she let her hands drop to her sides as if burned. The horse obviously did not like her retreat at all and huffed again and kept on nuzzling her.

The commander had a small smile on her face “She obviously likes you. You should not anger my horse by ignoring her now that you started.”

Marie could just blink at the commander astonished. She had expected a lecture at the least or some form of punishment but not to get the permission to continue.

“We did not have animals on the Ark” Marie finally said after a few moments of silence. She was wary of being alone with the leader of these people. She had no idea of their culture and she was bound to do one mistake after the other that way.

The commander nodded as if she had expected or already known this answer. Either John had been asked or they had concluded that fact themselves. “So you will need to be taught how to ride a horse properly” the commander said after a moment.

Marie looked between her and the horse in wonder. She would learn how to ride a horse. She only knew of horse riding from an old fairy tale book her father had read to her a long time ago.  In the book a prince had come riding a horse to a tower where a princess had been hidden away.

“When will I learn to ride,…?” Marie paused at the end of question. She was unsure how to address the woman correctly.

“You are eager to learn, I see.” The commander answered with a pleased note in her voice “You may call me by my name outside of meetings but in front of other clans you will address me as Heda as anybody else does.”

Marie nodded. The only problem was that she had no idea, what the woman’s name was anyway.

“What were the children of the Ark taught, Marie?” the commander sounded genuinely interested.

Marie tilted her head in thought. She had not attended many lessons only the basics before her mother had been ill and she was incarcerated for trying to help her.

“I have only been taught how to read and write, some basic math and the beginnings of earth study and history” Marie explained “I would have learned other things later as well, if I had not been caught stealing.”

Marie bit her lips for a moment, unsure if admitting theft had been such a great idea on her part in front of the leader of the people here. But the commander just nodded, maybe Anya had already told her that they had all been criminals of some kind.

“What did you learn in earth studies?” the commander continued her questioning.

Marie first just shrugged a bit, she had not liked this subject in particular. “Well” she started after a few minutes of contemplating, fortunately for her the commander seemed to be rather patient in contrast to Anya and just waited silently for her to continue, “We were told how to start a fire without a match, but just told in words. Burning a fire uses oxygen and the Ark was always short on that so we just got the theory. Same goes for how to hunt or fish without a gun. In the last weeks I had been there we were shown how to navigate and tell the time using the position of the sun. I know that later on in the class would have come more survival skills and how to grow crop and such things.”

The commander regarded Marie with a thoughtful expression “Your lessons do not seem very effective without practise of any kind.”

Marie just let out a little laugh, totally agreeing with the woman. She had never seen the sense in knowing how to theoretically light a fire if she would never have to do it or know that she might be faced with having to do it in the future she did not think from the theory alone to be able to light an actual one. It had not sounded very complicated but everything seemed easier in theory.

“But you did not learn any professions?” the commander called her out of her musings with another question.

“Professions?” Marie asked back unsure what the word meant exactly.

“Like healing or how to sew clothes or how to build a house or craft something” the commander tried to explain her question.

“Ah” Marie answered and shook her head in the negative “We would not be taught a job in school. In the year before you turn eighteen you decide what you want to do later on or you got a recommendation based on the talents you showed in school. Some kids just chose to do the same their parents did. And when you turn eighteen on the Ark is the time you start training for your job.”

“That does also not sound very effective” the commander commented with a doubtful expression.

Marie shrugged helplessly “I did not make the system.”

“How does it work here?” Marie asked immediately interested in their way of living.

“Children start training for a profession when they reach their fifth summer” the commander answered in a neutral tone.

Marie looked at her wide eyed “That is awfully young. You don’t have normal schools?”

The commander shook her head “Not everywhere. In the capitol there is a school but most of the smaller villages do not need one. The children learn all they need to know for their lives in the village they grow up in.”

Marie just caught up to the fact that her peers on earth had the advantage of four years of training. How was she ever expected to get to their level of skills?

“Do your warriors start training this early as well?” Marie asked hesitantly.

“It depends” the commander answered “Some earlier, some later. I started my own training in my third summer.”

Marie looked at her with her mouth agape in horror. The horse seemed to sense her mood and whinnied at her to get her full attention back.

Marie did not have the chance to say anything more as a messenger for the commander appeared behind the other side of the fence. The commander bid her goodbye giving her the permission to stay with the horses for as long as she wished and the explicit permission to visit them again later if she desired.

Marie was silently contemplating her future while petting the horse from time to time when Anya called for her from the other side of the fence.

The fierce woman did not seem angry at her so Marie hoped that the commander had told her she had the permission to be with the horses.

“It is time for dinner now” Anya called her “Come!”

Marie petted the dark horse one last time as goodbye and climbed back through the fence.

“Have you been with Heda’s horses all the time?” Anya asked her on the way towards the place they had eaten before with amusement colouring her voice.

Marie nodded mutely. The prospect of having to compete with children that had years of advantage in training had dampened her spirit drastically. She was still unsure what would happen to her if she proved incapable for the training of a warrior after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 8  
> Marie explores the village on her own and returns to the horses. She learns that the horses belong to the commander and that they are normally dangerous to strangers but a black mare welcomes her friendly. Lexa speaks more with Marie about her live on the Ark and their school system. Marie learns that children on the ground start their training around their fifth summer and fears to be unable to compete with them.

Chapter 9

Anya regarded her charge silently from time to time with a worried expression. The girl seemed to be physically unharmed but the wonder sparkling in her eyes earlier in the day had dimmed notably.

The girl silently accepted her plate and mug and picked at her meal in complete silence as well.

Word had spread through the village of the girl who fell from the stars and more people than usual were gathered around the bonfire trying to catch a glimpse of the stranger.

Marie seemed to be completely oblivious to all the eyes watching her every move. It was starting to turn dark and the only thing that seemed capable of catching the girl’s attention was the bonfire itself. Anya wondered whether the girl had even seen such a huge fire before but doubted it. From what the boy had disclosed in his interrogation the sky people relied on electricity completely.

Anya could see Tris wolfing down her own portion alarmingly fast on the other side of the fire to return to her guard duty as quickly as possible. Anya had assigned her extra guard duty as punishment for her disobedience with the sky girl.

The girl was just nibbling at her food pushing it around on the plate not really eating anything at all. Long after Anya had finished her portion she took the girl’s still mostly full plate away finally.

“If you don’t want to eat, you’ll go hungry for the night” Anya said to the startled girl and strode away to bring the plates away. Someone else could get the rest of the girl’s portion. Marie was left alone at the bonfire staring forlornly at the dancing flames. Marie had not even looked up from the flames when Anya returned.

“It's time to retire” Anya told her and strode to the crowd with Marie silently following her with her head bowed down towards the ground.

Anya had no idea what Lexa had told the girl but whatever it was had turned the interested, eager to learn girl into this silent version and it was getting on her nerves.

Maybe a night of sleep would restore her mood again. She hoped that the girl was just cranky from exhaustion but highly doubted it.

No one followed them through the camp but Anya had seen that Marie had not left any flattering impression on their people. Before she had collected the girl for dinner she had heard guards whispering about the fearless girl from the sky who tamed heda’s beasts. During dinner Marie had the expression of a startled deer and not some fearless girl.

Anya knew it was important that the people of TonDC respected the girl on their own. And the girl soon would have to make a name of herself.

When they reached the tent they would share for now, Anya could see that her orders were already fulfilled and some furs had been added for the girl to sleep on.

Anya started to discard her armour and showed Marie to her sleeping place. The girl was struggling to open the clasps of her own clothes and Anya had to step in after a few moments and help her undress.

Marie looked even more dejected as before when Anya had to help her. Silently Marie was fuming, ‘great, she was even unable to dress and undress on her own!’

When they had both undressed and gotten ready for the night it started to rain slightly and Marie could hear the raindrops splashing onto the tent.

She laid down on the furs allotted to her and pulled one over herself as a cover. The furs were much softer than she had thought and she liked the feeling of them on her skin. They did not smell disinfected like the blankets on the Ark, the smell of nature and wood was clinging to them rather intensely.

Marie laid under the furs without finding any rest. Her body felt overly tired but her mind was racing with thoughts. She was trying to lay still as to not disturb Anya next to her who she thought had already fallen asleep.

The rain kept coming faster and the wind picked up as well. There were other sounds Marie could not identify as well and the new atmosphere was making her even more restless.

She felt like crying at the moment and struggled to not let her tears fall. She felt overwhelmed by everything and helpless. And to top it off completely alone right now. Marie wished herself to be back on the Ark, being younger and safe in the small quarters her family had inhabited in happier times.

After some time there were tears running down her cheeks unbidden and Marie started to sniffle softly.

Only a few moments later the first signs of a storm could be heard and thunder was growling above them.

When lightning illuminated the sky followed closely by a loud growl of thunder Marie let out a startled scream and she was shaking slightly under her furs in fear. She had never seen or heard a thunder storm before. She knew from her earth studies that they were a part of the weather and that the lightning could ignite trees and kill people.

Anya had awoken with a start when Marie screamed and looked around with a dagger she kept under pillow in hand for the intruder she thought had made the girl scream.  When she could not detect anyone in the tent besides the girl curled up under the furs, Anya lowered the dagger with narrowed eyes. She did not appreciate being woken in the middle of the night without a reason at all.

At the next lightning accompanied by loud thunder the girl let out a little yelp again and Anya huffed irritated for being woken by her for something as insignificant as a thunderstorm. Those were pretty common for the region and this season.

Anya slid the dagger back under her pillow and laid down again hoping to fall asleep again. But she could hear the girl clearly crying when there was no thunder. She had never been good with comforting but she was the only one here and as she assessed the time she doubted the girl would stop crying on her own any time soon.

When the next thunder made the girl scream again muffled by the furs Anya sat up again. When lightning illuminated the tent for a moment she could see the girl under her furs, her eyes red and puffy from crying. So she had obviously started to cry before the storm.

Marie did not look in her direction and seemed to try to be as silent as possible, so she had not woken her up on purpose either.

Tiredly rubbing her eyes Anya spoke towards the girl “What is wrong, Marie?”

Marie looked at her startled not having noticed at all that Anya had woken up until now.

The girl hastily rubbed around her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt and just shook her head silently.

Anya huffed annoyed. She was not the most patient person when rested and being woken in the middle of the night did not help her patience one bit.

The girl jumped with fright under her furs when the next lightning illuminated the tent again.

“Come here” Anya ordered and lifted her own furs. Maybe some closeness to another body would calm the girl down. Tris had been rather afraid of thunderstorms as well a few years ago and would always silently make her way under Anya’s furs to snuggle up to her on those nights.

The girl blinked at her with a sheepish expression and seemed rather unsure if Anya’s offer was earnest or not.

When the next lightning occurred and Anya was still lifting her fur the girl leapt from her furs under Anya’s immediately.

The girl was shivering and looked totally spooked.

Anya cautiously pulled her closer towards her not feeling entirely in her element. The girl finally snuggled up to her and tried to control her shivering.

“You are safe here, Marie” Anya assured the girl in the softest voice she could muster “A little thunder won’t hurt us.”

Marie looked up at her with her big grey eyes wide open and nodded.

“And now tell me what has soured your mood before.” Anya commanded. They were both awake now anyway and hopefully speaking about what was bothering her besides the weather would put the girl to sleep sooner later. The girl looked as if she had not slept at all until now.

“Nothing” Marie answered and tried to turn away from Anya clearly unwilling to answer the question.

Anya curled her lips, she hated being lied to. She pinched the girl’s arm hard once and hissed “I do not appreciate being lied to.”

Marie looked rather startled about the pinch and was gently rubbing the undoubtedly smarting region with her hand.

When Anya kept her gaze firmly drilled into Marie’s eyes the girl gave up with a sigh.

“The commander spoke to me earlier” Marie began slowly.

Anya nodded “I know, Lexa had told me where to look for you.”

“The commander’s name is Lexa?” Marie answered back.

Anya nodded again pursing her lips again “Do not evade the question, Marie.”

“The commander, eh … Lexa, she told me that you start training warriors from their third or fifth summer the latest” Marie continued as if that would answer the question.

The way Marie looked at her now clearly showed that the statement somehow must contain the reason for her sullen mood before and Anya blinked at her utterly confused.

“Yeah, so?” Anya asked after a moment of contemplation not understanding what the girl was trying to convey.

“I am nine already” Marie explained with an impatient expression, as if Anya had not understood her on purpose.

“So?” Anya asked again. She knew the age of the girl, she had asked for it herself after all. Anya clearly did not understand the way the girl was working her thoughts right now. What had her age to do with the age the other warriors started their training?

Marie huffed and her lips were starting to tremble precariously as if she was on the verge of tears again.

“How the hell am I ever going to catch up with them?!” she let out rather loudly looking at Anya accusingly as if Marie’s lack of knowledge was somehow Anya’s personal fault.

Anya still blinked at her confused. She was not expecting the girl to catch up in a few days or only after one training. The training earlier had clearly shown her that her new charge did not even possess any basic knowledge of fighting neither was her body equipped with the muscles needed for efficient fighting. But that would change as they continued her training, so Anya was still not able to understand the origin of Marie’s problem.

Anya let out a strained huff “Marie, no one expects you to catch up just like that. It will take month or years of training. Maybe you will even never be able to catch up completely.”

That had obviously not been what the girl wanted to hear and she did start to cry again.

Anya was watching her rather helplessly, what was wrong with her now?

“What will happen to me if I fail as a warrior” Marie asked through her tears “Will I be killed then? Or allowed to stay? And learn to become something else? Or…?

The girl kept blabbering on.

Anya huffed with a glint of amusement in her brown eyes. She now did understand her charge’s problem. The girl was afraid of not meeting up to their expectations for her and she was afraid of the consequences if she would fail.

Anya silenced the girl with closing her mouth and gently wiped away the tears from her cheek “You worry for nothing, Marie. If you try your best at the training you will surely not fail to become a warrior. And if you do not enjoy the life of a warrior you can of course choose a different path in the future. You will surely not be killed by us. So stop the fretting, Marie.”

“Really?” the girl asked with a sniffle looking pitifully small right now.

“As I do not like being lied to, I speak only the truth” Anya answered gravely.

Marie giggled lightly with a relieved expression “You know, the commander gave me the permission to keep on visiting her horses.”

Anya nodded with an amused smirk. As fast as the girl’s mood had soured it was lifted as well obviously. The girl was not comparable to Lexa or even Tris in the slightest, both of them had never tended to get overly emotional.

“And she allowed me to call her by her name outside of meetings” Marie added with a proud glint in her grey eyes.

Anya nodded again “So I have heard already. You must have left a rather good impression on Lexa to allow you this privilege.”

The girl seemed to glow with pride at the praise and what it must mean and the sparkle was back in her eyes, when lightning and thunder came back again after some silence and the girl shrieked again and pressed herself into Anya’s body.

Anya could not help herself and started to laugh before she petted her charges back soothingly.

“Try to sleep, little skyfaya.” Anya murmured to her as she also settled down again “I will keep you safe.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 9  
> Anya picks up on Marie’s soured mood but hopes some rest will lift her mood again. In the night a thunder storm rages over TonDC and Marie wakes Anya up with her screaming. The woman lets Marie snuggle up to her for comfort and reassures the girl that she has nothing to fear if she does not succeed in her training.

Chapter 10

The next morning the storm had thankfully cleared away. Marie woke up still snuggled into Anya’s side. The woman seemed to be asleep still and her eyes were closed. Her breath was even and her face completely relaxed. Anya seemed younger and less fierce this way.

“Stop staring and get up” Anya grumbled at Marie suddenly with her eyes still closed.

Marie jumped slightly not having expected the woman to speak up.

“Sorry” Marie mumbled and inched away from the woman. She stretched slightly like a cat feeling the aches inside her body still.

“Argh, my muscles ache” Marie complained in a whiny voice and got up to dress for the day.

Anya had also gotten up and rolled her eyes at the girl “Wait ‘til tomorrow morning than after more training.”

Marie looked at her utterly horrified, she had not even considered that her training would probably take place daily now.

Anya laughed at her dumbfound expression and tossed a wet cloth into her face “Wash yourself. I will grab us some breakfast.”

Marie glared at her retreating head but started to wash herself obediently nevertheless. She should not anger the woman needlessly.

She remembered Anya’s lasts words last night and noted to ask her about the unknown phrase later.

When Anya returned some time later Marie was still struggling with her clothes and her hair looked rather stringy and Marie kept pushing it out of her face.

Anya placed the plates on the small table and huffed at Marie’s unsuccessful attempts to dress herself properly.

“That won’t do” Anya said swatting the child’s hands away closing all the buckles and straps in no time at all with practised hands. She turned the girl around and ran her fingers through her blonde locks braiding the wavy blonde hair into a simple braid fastening the braid in place with a short leather cord.

Anya turned the girl around and inspected her young charge “Better that will do. I will show you to the river later where you can wash your hair”.

Marie smiled thankfully at Anya and tilted her head slightly asking “What does skaifaya mean?”

Anya glared at her and her cheeks seemed to turn a slight pink “Enough with the dawdling. Eat! Or you’ll go hungry until sundown.”

Marie wanted to argue that she had not been dawdling and that Anya had evaded her question but another glare from Anya kept her silent.

She sat down on the floor of the tent which had been covered with some pelts and eagerly ate the breakfast. Her stomach had started to growl at the sight of food as she had not eaten much the previous evening.

Anya ate her food in silence and waited for the girl to finish rather impatiently. Once she did Anya took the plate and left the tent without any word. Marie leapt to her feet to follow her. Her movements were slightly stiff due to her sore muscles.

Anya discarded of the plates at the bonfire and guided Marie through the village back towards the fighting pits.

With a small smile on her face Marie noticed Tris waiting there for them. The other girl looked exhausted, as if she had not slept much in days.

Tris looked rather surprised to see Marie behind Anya but did not make any comment.

Anya acknowledged Tris’ presence with a simple nod “I hope the additional guard duty has cleared your head of your rebellious tendencies for now, Tris.”

Tris looked rather sheepish and nodded “Of course, Anya. I’m sorry, I won’t disobey again.”

Marie listened to the talk confused, why was Tris punished? Hopefully it had not been because Tris had given her food in the cell.

She had no time to further dwell on that question as Anya ordered them both to start rounds around the training ground.

Tris started right away, whereas Marie sent a pitiful glance towards Anya in the hope of being let of training due to her aching muscles. Of course Anya would have none of it and threatened Marie with additional training in the evening if she did not obey immediately.

Marie ceased her unsuccessful attempt at manipulation and started jogging around the pits. Tris was running way faster so they ran around the pits in different rhythms. Anya kept watch over them, spurring Marie on when she started to slow down after only a few rounds.

When Marie was starting to fear Anya would keep them running the whole morning they were finally called to Anya again.

Marie would directly be training with Tris today and they would be doing hand combat. Marie hoped she had a higher chance of beating Tris compared to her previous experiences with Anya.

But her hopes were belied quite harshly in the first round. Marie was laying gasping for air on her back on the ground only seconds later. She had not even gotten into the right fighting stance before Tris had started her attack on the younger girl relentlessly.

“Again” Anya commanded in a bored voice from her post at the side of the field.

Marie struggled to get up quickly from the ground feeling her whole body ache already. The rounds after that Tris at least waited until Marie had gotten into her fighting stance but it did not change the outcome of the fight one bit. The fights did only consist of one or two attacks from Tris and a poor try of Marie to defend herself against the other girl and Marie would end up on the ground again and again. After what felt like eternity for Marie Anya called an end to the fighting for now.

Tris looked at Marie apologetically and lend her a hand to get up again. Before Anya could tell them what to do now, shouts were heard in the village.

Some strange thing was falling from the sky.

“Another part from your Ark?” Anya questioned Marie immediately.

Marie shrugged “I don’t know for sure. But I guess. But the pod was rather small, probably only for one person.”

“It does not seem to have landed far from here” Tris observed.

Anya nodded to both of them.

“Come, we will try to find it” Anya demanded.

Marie followed Anya excitedly. Tris seemed excited to go as well, but she was not as expressive about it.

The way through the woods was longer then Marie had anticipated. After a short while she was annoyed with Anya for constantly criticising the way she walked too loudly.

“I am trying, Anya” Marie whined annoyed “Really…”

Tris had stopped in her tracks and Anya had whirled around covering Marie’s mouth with her hand.

“Ssh” she hissed at the girl, observing the trees closely as Tris did.

Not a second later a stag crashed through the bushes on their side, facing them for a second before it dashed away in another direction.

Anya let go of Marie and the girl looked after the stag shell shocked. The stags head had been deformed split in a half between two faces.

Anya and Tris had relaxed again to some extent.

 “Something or someone has startled the stag, careful now” Anya hissed at the both of them.

“You still place your feet wrongly” Anya continued her criticism in an annoyed tone after a few moments.

Marie sulked silently and tried to copy Tris’ movements. But she still failed miserably.

If she looked on the ground to see the sticks she might step on, Anya demanded she did not heed her surroundings enough attention. So how was she supposed to know where to place her feet?

Sometime later they finally reached their destination. The pod had landed near a river. Anya observed the pod from the distance of the tree line.

Before Anya could leave the treeline to get a closer look of the pod someone could be heard behind them approaching the crash site as well.

Anya whirled around and Tris had started to climb a tree next to them immediately. Marie looked between the both of them worriedly having concluded that whoever came there was probably not one of them.

“Climb!” Anya hissed at Marie lowly. Marie looked at her wide eyed, she had never climbed a tree and the first branch seemed to be awfully high up.

When the sound of the approaching person came nearer and Marie still had not moved Anya suddenly grabbed her and climbed the tree as if Marie’s additional weight did not affect her at all.

A few seconds only after Anya stopped to climb further up in the tree a boy passed the tree under them with a raised gun in hand.

“It’s Bellamy” Marie whispered as lowly as possible to Anya.

Anya nodded and observed the sky boy. The boy ran to the pod, ripped the door open and searched for something. He ripped a strange metal box out of the pod and closed the door again. Anya furrowed her brow in thought, the boy had completely disregarded the passenger inside the pod.

Bellamy ran a few meters away from the pod and threw the metal box into the river behind the pod. After the thing disappeared in the water the boy turned around and ran back into the woods.

All remained quiet for a few moments.

“What was that thing the boy threw into the river?” Anya demanded to know from Marie.

Marie shrugged “I don’t know for sure, but it could have been a radio or something like that. Bellamy did not want the others to get in contact with the Ark.”

Anya kept a firm hold on Marie to make sure she would not fall accidentally from the branch they were cowering on, as the girl started to move a bit in this awkward position.

Footsteps and a conversation could be heard now from some distance as two people now made their way towards the pod. 

When they were near enough to be seen from the tree Marie identified the both of them as Clarke and Finn.

Anya observed as they ran towards the pod and opened the door also. But they were both more concerned about the passenger.

A young woman with some dried blood on her forehead climbed out of the pod and hugged the boy rather enthusiastically. The other girl looked rather put out by the scene and remained in the background.

They were too far away to listen on in their conversation but a few moments later the woman from the pod went back and looked for something returning empty handed.

All three of them appeared rather angry and hurried back through the woods in the direction the other two had come from.

When the woods were quiet again Anya and Tris started to climb down from the tree again. Marie remained on the branch looking down to the ground with wide eyes.

“Come down, Marie!” Anya commanded a moment later when the girl still had to move an inch.

Marie shook her head keeping a firm hold on the trunk of the tree. She had no idea how to climb down without falling the whole distance. She would probably survive the fall but she would definitely hurt herself.

“Marie” Anya shouted again impatience clear in her voice.

When Marie still did not move, Anya turned away from the tree and sent Tris ahead back to TonDC.

The other girl left sending Marie a short sympathetic glance. She knew that Marie would have to learn to move in the trees soon. They were surrounded by trees and using them as cover was essential for Trikru.

“Come back down at once” Anya ordered once more in a harsh voice that commanded absolute obedience.

Marie still just shook her head her fear only mounting with each passing moment.

Anya looked up at the branch she knew she left the girl on with an impatient glare “Believe me, you won’t like the consequences if I have to come back up and take you down myself!”

Anya’s threat had at least made Marie move a bit from the trunk, looking down to see if she would find a way to get down on her own.

“I don’t know how” Marie shouted down trying to keep her balance on the branch.

“It isn’t that hard, Marie” Anya answered in a softer tone.

Marie huffed, of course it wasn’t hard for them. But she had never seen a tree until a few days ago nor had she ever climbed onto one.

She had gotten one branch further towards the ground when she slipped and fell with a loud scream.

Anya had tried to catch the falling the girl but the girl’s leg still twisted in an awkward angle with the impact of the fall.

“Ow!” Marie let out a pained moan as Anya let go of the girl to see if she could stand.

The leg gave out under her and Anya caught her before she fell to the ground lifting the girl to carry her back to TonDC.

“Sshh” Anya shushed Marie “Every child has to fall from a tree at least once before they learn to climb. Nyko will take a look at your leg.”

Marie gave her a little pained glare. She dearly hoped not all of Anya’s lessons would contain hurting herself before she learned something.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 10  
> Marie trains with Tris under Anya’s supervision and does not stand a chance against Tris in hand combat. They see Raven’s pod falling from the sky and Anya guides them through the woods to investigate the crash site criticising Marie’s inability to walk silently all the way. In front of the pod the hide in a tree from Bellamy who throws the radio into the river and leaves again. They watch Clarke and Finn greet Raven and the three sky children leave back to their camp. Marie’s attempt to climb down the tree on her own leads to an accident and her hurting her leg on the fall.

Chapter 11

As Anya carried Marie back through the woods towards TonDC Marie was trying to silence her groans of pain. Her leg was throbbing in sync with her heart beat and with every step Anya took Marie’s leg was jostled slightly only increasing the pain.

“We will be there shortly” Anya soothed the girl, sensing her charge’s discomfort. She was feeling rather sorry for the girl. She had not lied when she told her that it was common for Trikru children to fall from a tree at least once, but she had not managed to catch the girl completely and she knew that their training would not be able to continue as planned for the next days if not weeks. Trikru children grew up in the trees, so they started climbing as soon as they could walk.

For Marie the way back seemed impossible long but finally they reached TonDC. Anya directly carried the girl into the healers hut and laid her down on one of the cots.

“I will fetch Nyko” Anya told her charge ordering her to stay put and wait.

Marie looked around the hut with interest. From the ceiling different herbs were dangling to dry and on some shelfs pots of various sizes stood. But she could not see anything resembling an operation room nor could she see any syringes.

It did not take long for Anya to return with a man behind her. The man was as bulky as the other male grounders Marie had seen so far. He had dark hair braided back and a thick dark beard. His face was adorned with two huge tattoos and he had kind blue eyes.

Marie shyly smiled at the stranger still wary of the reaction of the others to her. The memory of the slap she had received still fresh in her mind.

Nyko reciprocated her smile with one of his own and crouched down next to the cot the girl was laying on.

“Let’s take a look at your leg then” Nyko said in a kind voice as he had already been informed of the fall by Anya on their way and helped Marie shimmy out of her trousers and felt along her bare leg with a gentle touch.

She let out a hiss of pain when Nyko felt along her ankle. When he twisted the ankle around a bit Marie bit her lips to keep silent.

Nyko finished his examination and got up again to look through the shelf full of different pods. Marie could not see what he was searching for but she guessed that the various pods all contained something different.

“The bone seems to be intact” Nyko told Anya “Probably just sprained.”

Anya nodded with a hint of relief in her brown eyes. A sprained ankle would heal much quicker than a broken bone would have. The girl had a lot to learn besides physical training anyway, so there was still much she could do with her without having her to strain her injury.

Nyko returned to the girl’s side with a pot in hand and gently applied the green paste it contained on the swollen ankle. The paste had a strong scent of mint and it tingled on Marie’s skin. He wrapped the ankle in a clean stripe of a soft cloth being careful not to wrap the swollen limp too tightly.

“If you want to walk later, I will wrap it with something harder” Nyko told the girl and got up again. He took some leaves from a bundle of herbs and threw them into a mug with steaming water.

He handed the mug to Marie “Leave the tea for a bit and drink it before it cools. It will help with the pain.”

Marie accepted the mug thankfully and softly blew on the streaming surface of the tea in order to cool it down faster.

“She should favour the leg until the swelling is down or she might hurt the ankle further” Nyko told Anya.

“Will do” Anya answered and nodded thankfully to the healer.

“Thank you, Nyko” Marie shyly told the man.

Both Anya and Nyko were looking at her rather strangely after she thanked the man and Marie averted her gaze biting her lips nervously. The man left the hut without another word to gather other herbs in the woods.

Anya still stood next to the cot and regarded her charge silently for now with a contemplative expression on her stern face.

“Why were you both looking at me strangely after I thanked him?” Marie questioned Anya a moment later to break the silence.

Anya crouched down next to the girl “We do not utter thanks for everything. It is Nyko’s purpose to heal others.”

Marie took the first sip from the tea and nearly spit it out again. She had to cough from the bitter taste.

“Seems rather impolite” Marie said between coughs grimacing from the taste.

Anya looked at her with amusement dancing in her eyes “It isn’t for us. You will get used to our ways.”

“And I suppose I can find some honey for your tea to sweeten it a bit” Anya took some pity in the girl and got up to get some honey.

Marie nodded with a thankful expression and watched the woman leave the hut. While she waited for Anya to return Marie’s thoughts circled around the differences between her previous life and what she would need to adapt to now. She had naively thought she would just need to learn to fight only now realising that she had a lot more to learn than that.

A short time later Anya returned with a small round pot and a small wooden spoon in hand.

Anya took the mug from Marie and added a spoon of honey to it before handing it back to the girl.

Cautiously Marie took another small sip from the tea noticing the sweeter taste with relief.

“Drink up” Anya ordered sternly “The brew is less effective if it cools completely.”

Marie nodded mutely and downed the tea with some bigger sips.

“All done” Marie told Anya and handed the now empty mug back to her. Anya just sat it down on an empty table, Nyko would take care of it later.

“You will stay here for the next hours” Anya told her young charge “You will probably sleep sometime. The tea will make you tired. I will collect you later.”

Marie just nodded in acceptance and wiggled a bit to get comfortable on the cot.

Anya covered her with an additional fur as a blanket to keep her warm and left the hut afterwards. She still had Tris to train and report to the commander what they had witnessed at the pod.

Marie had no idea how long she had lain on the cot before she fell asleep. But it could not have been long before her eyes had started to drop shortly after Anya left her. She had already been tired from the training session and the shock of the fall and now the tea made her fall asleep almost instantly.

The girl woke up to Anya shaking her shoulders rather roughly. Marie blinked her eyes open, her mind still sluggish.

Anya had an angry snarl on her face and the woman had not come on her own. Behind her Marie could see the dark skinned woman, who had wanted to kill her before, and to Marie’s confusion the commander was there also.

All of them looked rather angry, while Indra looked outright livid.

Marie noticed that it was already dark outside so she had slept for some hours. She had no idea what was up or what she had done. Her tired mind was racing to come up with explanations as to why the three women were glaring at her that way. She could not have done anything while asleep, right?

She looked at Anya with wide eyes feeling afraid under their intensive glares.

“Your people have declared war on us” Anya opened the conversation in a clipped angry tone.

Marie opened and closed her mouth a few times without uttering a word, silent in shock. She was absolutely clueless as to what had happened and had no idea what to say to them to improve her situation now.

“Did you know they had weapons to burn down a village?” Anya demanded to know harshly.

Marie shook her head with an alarmed expression. “They burned down a village?” she asked with horror in her voice.

She looked between Anya and the commander, blocking out Indra’s presence all together.

It was the commander who answered her question in a grave voice “Yes. A village a few miles away has been burnt to the ground by missiles. And an armed group of your people has been seen wandering my lands.”

“What weapons did you have?” the commander wanted know.

Marie took a moment to answer, her thoughts still fuzzy from sleep “Bellamy had a gun. And some build some spears or knifes. But I don’t know about anything else.”

The commander nodded, obviously believing her words. She left with Indra in tow without another word, starting to shout commands outside of the hut.

Anya still looked rather furious, but Marie hoped they were all not furious at her personally.

“Were there many people in the village?” Marie asked in a small voice. Even though she knew what happened was not her fault, she hoped that the 100 had not burned the village on purpose.

“Around fifty I think” Anya finally answered the girl’s question with a sigh. The girl’s grey eyes were still clouded by fear and she appeared awfully small on the cot. Her anger was misdirected towards her charge. Anya had already told Lexa and Indra that she thought it unlikely that the girl would know anything.

“Are they all dead?” Marie answered in only a whisper. Anya had to strain her hearing to even understand the girl at all.

She nodded with a grave expression “I fear so. Nyko and some others were sent to look for survivors.”

“I am so sorry” the girl whispered tears gathering in her grey eyes.

Anya shook her head “It was not your fault, Marie. We do know that.”

She took the fur covering the girl away and hooked her own arms under the girl’s knees taking her into her arms.

“Nyko will not return before tomorrow. So you can stay in my tent now” Anya explained while she carried the girl through the village. Marie hid her face in Anya’s shoulder unwilling to see the glares she was sure the inhabitants of the village would be sending her way now.

Fortunately Anya did not comment on her behaviour and no one tried to stop Anya on her way to her tent.

She sat the girl down on the furs she had slept on last night. Marie was still feeling rather sleepy so Anya left her on her own.

Also the girl was feeling sleepy, she did not want to sleep at the moment. She could hear Anya moving through the tent and sometime later another person entered. They were conserving in trigedasleng, so Marie was not able to understand anything at all. But she did recognize the voice as being the commander’s.

They both sounded angry judging from their tone. Marie could not fault them for being angry. The 100 had eliminated a whole village. Surely they would be killed now and there was nothing she could do. The way she was feeling at the moment she even was not sure if she should want to do something to help them.

Sure the grounders seemed harsher than the people from the Ark. But they had sort of saved her and with Anya she was now given a chance to start a new life.

Marie fell asleep again against her will lulled to sleep by the ongoing conversation she could not understand in the tent between Anya and the commander.

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 11  
> Anya carries Marie back to TonDC where Nyko takes a look at her leg. The girl seems to have sprained an ankle. After being given a tea against the pain Marie sleeps for a few hours in the healer’s hut. She is woken later by Anya together with Lexa and Indra. A village has been burned down and armed sky children were seen on Trikru land. Marie is horrified to hear that the others have killed so many grounders and is brought back into their tent by Anya to sleep on.

Chapter 12

Marie was startled awake by a booming thunder. She blinked her eyes a few times to adjust to the darkness in the tent and pulled the furs tighter around her body. The tent flap was open and Anya’s furs were empty, they looked unused so far so Anya probably had not slept at all until now.

Wind was howling around the tent and rain plastered against the tent in heavy drops. The storm sounded even angrier than the last one Marie had witnessed. In addition Marie could hear people shouting orders outside and bustling through the village.

Cautious of her injured ankle Marie stood up with a fur wrapped tightly around her slight frame and limped to the open tent flap. Grounders were running through the village, taking down tents here and there and boarding up some of the wooden structures of the village.

The tent was shaking slightly under the force of the wind and Marie looked around for any sign of Anya, Tris or even the commander. Something was not right here and she was starting to feel afraid all on her own in the midst of the hectic bustling around her.

Before Marie had a chance to step out of the tent Anya appeared in her line of sight and came towards the tent.

“What is wrong, Anya?” Marie questioned the woman worriedly.

“A hurricane is coming” Anya answered her in a serious voice “We are going to seek shelter in caves that are not too far away.”

Anya directed her back into the tent and Marie helped her to the best of her abilities to gather Anya’s belongings and roll up the furs. Tris also joined them a few moment later already packed with her own set of furs, her weapons strapped to her body.

It took them only a few minutes to get ready to leave but the wind had already picked up a bit more and Tris was glancing worriedly to the dark sky only illuminated by occasional lightning.

“Come” Anya ordered both of them and set the pace through the village. Marie could see others packed with their things as well. The village did not have enough storm-proof buildings to host everyone.

Marie had difficulties to keep Anya’s pace and her ankle started to ache more with every step she took, but staying behind in a hurricane did not sound advisable as well. Marie had heard about hurricanes in the old world before the bombs in one of her lessons. They were common in some regions in America and used to cause a lot of damage. So Marie bit her lips and tried to ignore the pain for now. A safe place for the night was definitely more important than a hurting ankle now.

On the way through the village Tris suddenly yanked Marie to the side and Marie watched wide eyed as the horses raced through the village on their own fleeing before the storm as well.

She had just opened her mouth to ask why the horses were on their own, when Anya already answered her unvoiced question.

“The horses can find shelter for themselves. They will return when the storm has calmed” Anya explained to Marie.

Anya actuated them to keep moving against the howling storm and Tris and Marie followed the woman mutely.

The rain had already soaked Marie completely after only a few moments and the girl was starting to shiver against the cold.

For Marie it felt like an eternity through the woods in the darkness. The girl wondered how Anya and Tris were even able to navigate them through the trees without any hesitation at all. To Marie every tree looked the same at the moment and she dearly hoped they would arrive at the caves soon.

Her ankle was sending a shooting pain up into her leg and she had difficulties not to slip on the wet ground and the rain was coming down on them relentlessly.

Her relief at finally reaching the caves was very short-lived. Anya ushered them into one of the caves, where Indra, the commander and several others Marie did not know were already settling down for the night.

A small fire had been lit at the entrance of the cave and Marie had to cough because the air was heavy with smoke. At least it was warmer than outside and the ground was dry.

To Marie’s outmost horror her furs were also soaked through. With a miserable expression Marie set her furs next to Tris’ and Anya’s furs. None of them had any dry clothes to sleep in. Tris and Anya had started to lay down their weapons and got out of the outer layers of their clothes. Both of them had worn heavy leather coats and were much drier than Marie herself.

With a miserable expression on her face Marie lowered herself onto the wet furs judging from the look of the other furs they were dried then her own and Marie wondered what she had done wrong to get hers soaked through.

Anya regarded the girl silently after having reported to the commander shortly. Guards had already been assigned so they could try to catch some sleep.

“You alright?” Anya asked Marie with a frown on her face.

Marie just nodded silently unwilling to look at the woman for the moment. Marie was not alright of course, she was soaking wet and cold, her ankle hurt terribly and her mood was fouler than ever.

Anya huffed annoyed at the girl for clearly lying her in the face again.

“Stand up” she ordered with a glare. Her own shirt was reasonably dry and she feared her charge might already be getting sick without sleeping wet as well.

Marie pouted but complied with her order without any voiced protest.

Anya took the furs of the girl and laid them nearer to the fire so they might dry in the night.

“You have rolled them up the wrong way” she told the girl in a bored tone. Anya shrugged out of her own shirt, leaving her in some tight pants and her breast bands. She handed the shirt to the girl with the order to change into it.

Marie blinked at her confused but changed nevertheless. The shirt hung from her slight frame and went down to the girl’s knees.

The bandage Nyko had put over Marie’s ankle was soaked as well. Anya directed the girl to sit on her own furs and Anya crouched down to take the bandage of.

With a worried expression Anya noticed that the girl’s ankle was swollen even more now, but there was nothing they could do now anyway.

“Lie down” Anya ordered and when the girl started to get up, Anya rolled her eyes and gave the girl’s shoulder a strong push.

“You cannot sleep on your own furs now” Anya explained.

Marie just nodded with a relieved expression and tried to make as much room for Anya as possible. None of the others present seemed to judge Anya’s half-dressed state or that she shared her furs with the girl now.

When Anya had lain down as well Marie snuggled a bit closer to her with a shiver trying to absorb some of the heat the woman’s body was emanating.

With an annoyed huff Anya ended the girls wriggling and pulled the smaller body into her own frame. With a content sigh the girl got comfortable and shut her eyes.

In the morning Anya’s foreboding was confirmed. She could feel that the girl was feeling too warm and was sweating overly much. When she shook the girl awake her grey eyes were slightly red and glassy.

Marie felt terrible when Anya woke her up. Her head was throbbing, her throat was sore and her nose felt slightly stuffed. The girl looked the picture of pitiful right now and Anya groaned in annoyance taking care of a sick child was nothing she liked to do in particular.

Over the night the worst of the storm had passed over them and it was safe now to return to TonDC. Anya knew that much would have probably been destroyed but they would rebuild quickly.

Anya collected the girl’s clothes from near the fire someone had stocked all night. Thankfully they had dried over the night.

When Anya turned her back to Marie the girl gasped.

“What is it?” Anya demanded to know with a furrowed brow.

“Are those all kill marks?” Marie answered with a slight tremble to her voice.

Anya just nodded and handed the clothing to the girl. The swelling in the girl’s ankle had gone down a bit overnight at least. If the girl came down with a cold she would not be able to train physically for some time anyway.

Indra was glaring daggers at her charge from the other side of the fire with a disdainful expression on her face.

“These sky children are weaklings” she hissed at Anya as the woman went to the fire to also gather Marie’s furs.

Anya huffed “I am sure she will astonish you sooner or later, Indra.”

Indra pursued her lips and shook her head, while Marie had started to cough “Getting sick from a little bit of rain.”

Anya rolled her eyes at the other woman. From what she had understood from the girl’s description of the space ship they had lived in, there had been no weather or changes in the temperature. So Anya was not surprised that the girl would get sick easily, her body would need time to adapt to the new surroundings as well.

In the meantime Tris had collected food from the hunters for all of them and gave Marie her portion.

“Oh, you don’t look well” the other girl commented with a small smile.

Marie just gave her a pitiful glance and coughed some more. Anya and Tris had both eaten their portions fast while Marie was only picking at her food not really eating anything.

After some time when the others had started to pack up, Anya took the food away from the girl and felt her forehead. The girl was definitely sporting a fever already. Anya hoped that Nyko had returned from the burned village as well. She was no good at healing and was unfamiliar with most of the herbs the healer used.

“Ow!” Marie let out when she tried to stand on her injured ankle.

“I can’t walk back, Anya” the girl complained in a whiny voice.

Anya’s lips formed a harsh thin line “You will walk back or do you want to stay here?”

Marie gaped at her for a moment before she shook her head.

“We can go slower now, Marie” Anya reassured the girl in a softer tone and waited for her to limb to the entrance of the cave.

The commander’s horse had already found its owner and Lexa had already mounted the huge mare. Even under the influence of the fever Marie was enamoured with the horse and admired the horse for a moment.

None of the others at the cave were injured or sick so Lexa offered to take the girl with her on her horse. Anya would have liked to decline not wanting to show favouritism to the girl but she knew that the way back would be longer without the storm pressing their pace. And as a bonus Indra’s expression of disbelief was enough for Anya to hoist the girl up in front of Lexa.

Lexa snaked an arm around the girl’s smaller body to keep her safe on the horse.

“Thank you, commander” Marie said with wonder clear in her voice and started to cough again right after.

The bulky man next to the commander said something to her in trigedasleng but Lexa just waved him off dismissively. 

When the horse started to move Marie let out a startled yelp and clawed her fingers into the mare’s mane to what the horse whinnied back.

“Easy there” Lexa spoke softly to Marie and pried her fingers loose from her horse’s mane “You are spooking skayrasha. I won’t let you fall off.”

Marie nodded a bit reassured and leaned more firmly into the body of the commander to feel securer on the horse.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 12  
> Marie wakes up to a hurricane coming to TonDC. The villagers pack up and seek shelter in caves. Marie’s things are all soaked through and she sleeps in Anya’s shirt and shares her furs again. In the morning Marie is sporting a fever and Lexa takes her back to TonDC on her horse to make the way faster for everyone.

Chapter 13

Shortly after their journey had started Marie could not keep her eyes open any longer, she felt hot and cold simultaneously and her whole body ached.

Lexa felt the body of the girl slacken in front of her in the saddle and she had to tighten her arms around the smaller body to keep the child in the saddle. She put a hand on the girl’s forehead and noticed that a strong fever was waging war in her body.

The commander urged her horse into a faster trot, the girl needed to see a healer as soon as possible. Her people were sometimes lost to fevers. The girl was small and scrawny, her body not used to the temperature drop. Marie needed to put on some weight and muscle or she would not survive the next winter breath.

Without the storm and the girl slowing them down the whole convey was able to set a faster pace.

When they finally reached TonDC the extent of the devastation the storm had caused was evident. All of the tents that had not been dismantled in the night had been completely destroyed. Huge branches from the trees around the village had been ripped from the trees and were blown into the village.

The only buildings completely unscathed had been those build with robust wood or bricks. But the inhabitants of the village were already starting to clear away the damage.

Heda’s tent had already been erupted again in the middle of the village as well and a small group was starting to erupt the general’s tent also.

The healer’s hut was one of the sturdier buildings of TonDC so it had survived the storm without any damage.

Lexa steered her mare directly to the hut and waited until Anya had caught up with her. She gave the unconscious girl over to Anya and dismounted her horse. A young second who had started to work at the stables for now came running to took skairashas reins over and bring the horse to the stables.

Anya took Marie into the healers hut and laid her down onto one of the cots. To her utter dismay the hut was empty as Nyko had not returned yet.

She looked around the hut helplessly. Anya was completely unfamiliar with all the herbs dangling from the ceiling. She never had had children of her own and when Lexa or Tris had been ill there had always been a healer so she never had to take care of them on her own.

Marie had started to shiver so much that her teeth rattled together. Anya bundled up some furs and packed the shivering girl tightly into them to get her warm again. She also quickly stocked a small fire in the fireplace of the hut to raise the temperature in the hut.

Anya sniffed at the different herbs dubiously trying to find something to lower the girl’s fever. The only herbs she could identify for sure were herbs to dumb pain, so nothing that would help Marie now. She eyed two different herbs at the end. They looked similar and in the back of her mind she thought that one would induce a deep sleep and the other lower the fever.

Annoyed with herself Anya huffed, pulled the furs tighter around the girl and left the hut in search of someone with at least some basic healing skills.

Every inhabitant of TonDC was outside and they were all working hand in hand to erase the devastation as quickly as possible. Anya knew from experience that the last traces of the damage would be wiped away in a day or two at most.

Anya stopped one of the warriors who had had guard duty the last night “Has anyone seen Lincoln return?” The warrior had been tasked with watching the sky children’s camp and was versed in the art of healing.

The warrior shook his head “Not that I am aware, but I will ask around.”

Anya nodded and continued her way through the village. Lexa was overseeing the rebuilding of the communal hall of the village.

“Has any handmaiden accompanied you that is familiar with healing?” Anya asked the commander in a last resort.

Lexa eyed her with a questioning gaze.

“Nyko has not returned neither has Lincoln from observing the invaders” Anya explained in an annoyed tone “The girl is burning up and I don’t know what herbs to give her.”

The commander gestured to one of her guards “Go and fetch Alira”.

The man nodded without a word and left.

While Lexa gestured to another guard “Assemble a search party for Lincoln.”

The man nodded in confirmation and left as well.

“You worry for Lincoln?” Anya asked confused.

“He may have only be delayed but a look-out going missing is never a good sign” Lexa said in a cautious voice. They still did not know how dangerous the sky kids were and an armed group of them had been trespassing in Trikru land the day before. 

Before they could continue their conversation the guard returned with Alira in toe. Alira was one of her older handmaidens who had already served the commander before her. Lexa knew the woman had a broad knowledge and was loyal to the bone.

“Are you familiar with treating someone with a high fever, Alira?” Lexa questioned her.

The older woman nodded respectfully and seemed to judge if Lexa was sick herself.

“You are to follow Anya’s orders for now, Alira” Lexa commanded and dismissed both of them to return her attention to the rebuilding.

Alira followed behind Anya’s fast strides silently and Anya ushered her to the healers hut.

Marie’s shivering had increased in the time Anya had been away and her whole frame shook violently, her breathing sounded laboured as well.

Alira took over immediately and removed the furs at first. Anya stepped in front of the woman and furrowed her brow “What are you doing? She is clearly cold.”

Alira shook her head determination edged into her face “The fever has to be brought down first. The shivering will cease.”

The woman took warm water from the kettle over the fire, poured it into an empty mug and walked around the hut taking different herbs here and there adding them to the water.

She minced different herbs together and crushed them to a paste that had a strong almost biting smell. Anya watched the woman like a hawk still not convinced of her knowledge and if she might just want to worsen the girl’s condition even further.

Alira took the girl’s shirt off to apply the paste to her chest and back to ease the laboured breathing. The tea had simmered enough and she manoeuvred the girl into a sitting position forcing the brew down her throat forcefully.

“I need cool water” Alira exclaimed in Anya’s direction, still coaxing the girl to drink the tea.

Anya grabbed a bowl and nodded towards the woman not feeling well leaving the girl alone with the unknown handmaiden. But the woman obviously had Lexa’s trust so that would have to suffice for now.

She went to collect some water from a nearby stream in a hurry. When she returned to the hut the mug had been emptied and Marie had been undressed to her underwear. The woman directly took the water from her dumping some cloth into the cool liquid and positioning the wet cloth over the girl’s leg and chest.

Anya just stayed beside her and watched the woman silently.

“The wet cloth will lower her temperature more quickly. It is dangerously high. Her body does not seem able to fight the illness well” Alira explained to Anya’s unvoiced question.

The effects of Alira’s treatment could be seen a short time later already. Marie’s breathing was more even and her temperature was lowered, she was still hot to the touch, but improved nevertheless. The shaking had also decreased and Alira packed the girl into the furs again and made a new batch of tea for later.

“General, no offence” Alira started with a calm expression “There is no need for you to keep vigil as well. I will monitor the girl.”

Anya looked at the woman with raised brows. The woman had some nerve to order her around.

“Do you know, who you are treating there?” Anya demanded to know rather harshly.

Alira nodded with an honest expression “She is your second now, the girl who fell from the stars. Not that it matters to me, but word travels fast through the camp.”

“You do not harbour any ill will towards her?” Anya implored with a piercing glare.

The woman shook her head with an open expression “It is not my place to carry ill will towards her. She is a child still and Heda seems to hold her in high regards that is good enough for me.”

Anya nodded cautiously but the woman’s words had sounded honest enough. So she turned on her heels and left the hut. She still had her duty as a general and Tris to look after anyway.

The next two days the girl kept on fighting. Alira stayed by the girl’s side constantly and Anya was there whenever she could. In all the time Nyko still had yet to return, so they would have to take care of her on their own for now. The fever always climbed back after a few hours and Anya had begun to fear the girl would not make it. On the third day Alira declared that the fever had finally broke for real and that the child would surely survive now.

Anya was relieved to hear the news but Marie was still not coherent again. The girl’s skin was too pale and she seemed to have lost even more weight now.

“Rest, Alira” Anya ordered the woman as she had watched over the girl the whole night on her own “I will stay for now.”

Alira nodded and left the hut to sleep in the tent reserved for heda’s handmaidens.

Anya sat down next to the cot Marie was still sleeping in and gently took one of the small hands of the girl in her own.

Her skin felt normal in temperature again. The girl’s skin was soft and showed that she was unused to physical labour or fighting as there were no callouses on the small slender fingers at all.

She squeezed the girl’s fingers lightly and startled when she felt an answering squeeze from Marie.

“Marie” Anya spoke softly to the girl to rouse her.

Marie blinked her grey eyes open and started to cough.

“Anya, what happened?” the girl asked in a raspy voice.

“Wait” Anya ordered her and let go of her hand to get the girl some more tea to sooth her scratchy throat.

“Drink” Anya gave the cup to the girl and Marie took a few sips, grimacing at the bitter taste of the brew.

“You became sick after the storm” Anya explained ignoring the girl’s grimace for now.

“How long?” Marie wanted to know with a puzzled expression.

“You have been in and out of consciousness for three days now” Anya answered.

Marie looked at her with wide disbelieving eyes “That long?!”

Anya nodded with a gentleness in her eyes “You got me worried there, _ai skaifaya_.”

“What does that mean?” Marie questioned Anya with curiosity written on her face.

“It translates to _my star_ in your language” Anya explained somewhat reluctant.

But the blinding smile her words put onto the girl’s face were worth her embarrassment Anya decided.

Before the girl could utter her next words, the door to the hut was opened and Lincoln stumbled inside. Anya whipped around and took in the man’s condition quickly. He was wearing Skykru clothes and Anya could see bruises and cuts through the open jacket on his chest and one hand was wrapped in a bandage, blood seeping through slowly.

Marie looked at the stranger with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth, the man was obviously wounded and looked as if he had been trashed or in a heavy fight.

“What happened to you, Lincoln?” Anya demanded to know harshly and forced the man to sit on the cot opposite of Marie, as Lincoln looked as if he might drop any second. Which was exactly what he did only moments later, his eyes rolled back and the man lost consciousness.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 13  
> Marie has fallen ill after the storm and Nyko still has not returned to TonDC. Alira, one of Lexa’s handmaidens, is versed in healing and takes care of the girl for the next three days where she suffers from a high fever. When Marie finally wakes again Lincoln stumbles into the hut in Skykru clothing and wounded before he promptly loses consciousness.

Chapter 14

Anya told Marie to stay put under her furs and hurried out of the healer’s hut with purposeful strides to alarm Lexa and collect Alira again. Lincoln was obviously in need of some healing.

She found Alira still giving an update of the sky girl’s condition to the commander in the rebuild communal hall.

“Lincoln has returned” Anya reported to Lexa with a serious expression “And he is injured, lost consciousness before I came here.”

Lexa looked at Anya with a furrowed brow “Did he tell you why he just returned now?”

Anya shook her head in the negative “He collapsed before he could tell me anything.”

Together the three women went back to the healer’s hut. Lincoln was still lying unconscious on the cot next to Marie and the girl had fixed the stranger with an unblinking stare.

At the sound of the entrance of them Marie startled and looked up to them.

Lexa sent the girl a small fliting smile “It is good to see you coherent again, Marie.”

“Thank you” Marie replied with a shy smile “I am feeling better already”. But the girl had to cough again after the few words and her grey eyes were drawn back to the stranger.

Alira had directly went to the unconsciousness man and had already started to take the jacket off of him.

What was revealed underneath made Marie gasp loudly and Lexa and Anya clenched their teeth angrily. It was evident that the man had been whipped and beaten recently.

The warriors torso was lined with bloody welts and bruises and some round marks that appeared to be burned into his flesh.

But what was revealed under the bloody bandage on the warriors hand made the commander really grind her teeth in silent seething anger.

A tool of some kind had been pierced completely through the man’s hand and left there. When Anya helped Alira to pull the bulkier man into a sitting position to take a look at his back, they found it in a similar condition to his front littered with welts and bruises as well.

Alira had started to mutely gather everything she needed to clean and take care of all the wounds.

Anya and Lexa were both silently staring at the warrior.

“First they burn down a village and now this!” Lexa fumed through clenched teeth.

Marie gulped loudly “The other delinquents did this?” The girl had obviously not come to the conclusion from the Skykru clothes to Lincoln’s condition.

Fear was clearly evident in the girl’s grey eyes, already glistening with unshed tears.

Anya nodded fury dancing in the general’s brown eyes. The invaders had clearly declared war on them now. First burning down a village and now torturing one of them, were all acts of war and Trikru had to answer them soon.

A few silent tears were rolling down the girl’s cheeks as she watched Alira clean the wounds the other 100 had inflicted on the Trikru warrior. Only a few days ago when Marie had heard John getting tortured by Trikru warriors, she had been deathly afraid and sure that her people would never be this cruel to another. And now she was proven wrong, the other delinquents had done exactly the same thing to the warrior. 

Even if she was unfamiliar with the ways of the warriors of Trikru Marie knew that there would be deathly consequences for the other 100 now.

Before she could ask, what would happen with them now, Indra burst into the hut fury and worry clear on her face.

“Skykru?” came Indra’s angry hiss.

Marie saw the commander nod towards the dark skinned warrior.

The warrior set her blazing eyes to Marie for a moment but swallowed down her angry retort when she saw the tear tracks glistening on the girl’s pale face.

“Blood must have blood, Heda” Indra demanded forcefully and Marie shivered in fear her eyes darting between the women in the hut.

“Let me kill the sky boy first and assemble our warriors to march on their camp at sunrise” Indra continued with conviction colouring her voice strongly.

Marie just now remembered that John might still be in TonDC at all and felt slightly guilty for having forgotten about him completely.

The commander silenced the angry warrior with a gesture of her hand and answered the woman in the grounder tongue, so that Marie was unable to understand their conversation.

Marie cast a worried glance to Anya, what if the commander had decided to have her executed as well?

Anya, Indra and Lexa kept debating between the three of them for a few minutes, while Alira continued to take care of Lincoln in silence, not even listening to the words of the others.

The warrior had not woken up despite the cleaning of his wounds, Alira finished by applying a greenish paste to the welts and turning her attention to the tool lodged into the warrior’s hand.

Alira interrupted the ongoing debate, calling Anya and Indra over.

“I will pull it out of his hand now, I fear he will wake from the sensation. Keep him still, the wounds need to be sealed shut immediately” Alira explained, she had already placed two daggers into the small fire in the fire pit in preparation.

Marie was overseeing the procedure silently and continued to drink her tea to suppress the urge to cough for a bit, while a few tears were still running down her cheeks.

The commander left the hut without a word and Anya and Indra crouched into position next to the shoulders of Lincoln pressing down with their hands to immobilize him as best as possible.

Alira nodded to both of them and with one sudden strong pull she dislodged the tool from the warrior’s hand. Lincoln’s eyes shot open in the exact second and he let out a piercing scream of pain trying to wrestle away from the hands pressing his torso down.

“It’s alright, Lincoln” Indra tried to sooth the shocked warrior in a softer tone Marie had ever heard from her “Keep still, the wound has to be sealed.”

A flicker of recognition passed through Lincoln’s dazed eyes and he nodded sharply, biting his lips determined.

The bloody tool had been dropped onto the floor by Alira and the woman returned with the gleaming daggers in both hands. Anya had let go of the man’s shoulder and instead kept a firm grip on his wrist. Blood was already running down the arm freely now.

Alira nodded to Anya and pressed both daggers simultaneously on the bleeding wound. Lincoln let out a heavy grunt of pain and a bit of smoke emanated from his hand, while the smell of burning flesh filled the hut.

A few moments later Alira took the daggers from the wound and gently inspected the hand. The bleeding had stopped and the skin had blistered shut. As gently as possible Alira cleaned the blood away with clean wet cloths and applied a reddish paste to the sealed wound wrapping a clean bandage around the blistered area.

Lincoln’s lips had been pressed into a thin line and he did not utter any moans of pain at all, silently bearing the treatment, while Indra kept whispering words in their tongue to the man.

Anya had let go of the man’s wrist and crouched down next to Marie. The girl was observing the scene with horrified wide eyes, she had never witnessed anything like that ever before. The smell of burned flesh was still heavy in the air of the hut and the girl tried to breathe through her mouth against the stench. The girl was feeling sick to her stomach and shivered slightly from the shock, her eyes fixed on the bloody tool on the floor.

Anya gently touched the girl’s shoulder to get her attention and the girl startled strongly scooting away from the touch as if struck. She had let go of the mug still clenched in her hands and the remaining tea was spilled onto the furs as the mug fell to the floor.

The grey wide eyes were now fixed on Anya’s face, but the girl’s gaze was unfocused her eyes unseeing.

“Marie” Anya addressed the girl in a soothing tone “It is alright. Breathe, _ai skaifaya_.”

The term of endearment seemed to do the trick and snapped the girl out of her shock somewhat. Marie blinked at Anya and sniffed with her tears.

“ _Shusha_ ” Anya soothed the girl in a gentle tone “Everything will be just fine.”

Anya picked the empty mug up from the floor and put it onto the small table next to them standing up to change the wet fur for dry ones.

Marie’s eyes followed Anya’s movements and accepted the new fur directly snuggling into it to stem her shivering.

Alira had made a tea against the pain for Lincoln and handed the warrior a streaming mug, when she saw that the girl had spilled her own tea, she begun preparing a new one for her also.

Indra was quietly conversing with Lincoln in their own language. The warrior seemed more coherent then Marie would have thought possible because of his injuries.

When Marie accepted the newly made tea from Alira with a grateful nod and a mumbled “thanks” the commander re-entered the hut.

Lexa directly started to interrogate Lincoln “What happened to you?”

Lincoln started to tell them, that he had found a wounded sky girl in the woods and he had taken her with him to his cave and cared for her wounds. When she had tried to flee and they had seen the group of armed Skykru being followed and rounded up by the Trikru warriors he had brought her back to his cave. The girl had gotten the better of him and knocked him unconscious with a rock against his head. When he woke up other Skykru had been with the girl and he had stabbed one of them in self-defence. The others overpowered him together and he had woken up chained in the metal contraption they had landed in. He had been held there and tortured for information for an unknown time. The girl he had captured helped him flee when the Skykru children had consumed bad Jobi nuts. He had made his way back to TonDC directly after to report to his Heda.

Marie listened with wide eyes as Lincoln described their torture methods to get the information which antidote would save the stabbed boy. The round brand wounds stemmed from cables used to give him electronic shocks. Marie wondered how the warrior had even survived that kind of torture at all and was still able to travel the distance between the crash site and TonDC.

The others listened silently as well, only the commander adding another question here and there.

Lincoln declared that he had not given up any information at all, only that the girl knew for sure that he was able to understand their language. The commander nodded, she knew how strong her warriors were, and none would crumble easily under physical torture.

“Rest, Lincoln” Lexa said and nodded to the warrior, leaving the hut with Indra and Alira in toe, the handmaidens attention not needed any longer for the moment.

When Lincoln’s dark blood-shot eyes finally met Marie’s gaze the girl startled again and had the strong urge to flee from the warrior, expecting him to have the need to seek revenge with her.

But the warrior’s gaze held no particular ill will towards Marie at all, if anything he seemed slightly curious to see the girl. Marie still stood out and her light blond hair was unusual for Trikru and paired with the light grey eyes it made her stand out as a stranger even more on first glance.

Anya had taken a protective stance next to her charge but relaxed again as she saw the curiosity in Lincoln’s eyes, which reminded her of the almost gentle child the warrior once had been.

But as the warrior just regarded the girl silently Anya could see the warrior’s eyes starting to droop from the tea against the pain. It took a few more minutes before the warrior’s body slackened and he fell asleep.

“You can return to our tent now” Anya told Marie and took the mugs and the furs from her.

Marie nodded and slowly stood up gingerly testing her ankle. It was still a bit sensitive but the swelling seemed gone now. Anya nevertheless kept a steadying hand on the small of her back and led the girl through the camp.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 14  
> Alira takes care of Lincoln’s wounds and he tells the commander that the 100 have tortured him for an antidote to safe the boy he had stabbed. Marie is horrified to hear what the others have done to the man. She knows there will be war now.

Chapter 15

After a few moments of silent walk through the camp Marie finally voiced the question out loud that had been ghosting in her mind non-stop for some time now “What will happen now with the other 100?”

Anya considered her charge for some time before she answered the girl’s question in a hushed tone “Messengers will have been sent to the nearing villages by now to raise an army to march on your dropship in the next days.”

Marie gulped audibly but other than that stayed silent, what was there for her to say anyway? Her place was now in TonDC by Anya’s side.

The way through the camp exhausted the girl more than it should have, but Anya had expected nothing less. The illness had eaten away even more strength from the young girl and she would have to take the training easy on her for the coming days.

Marie was relieved when they reached the tent and gratefully settled down on her furs.

“You can rest for a few hours now, Marie” Anya told the girl “I will be training Tris, we will be in the fighting pits.”

“I don’t need to train now?” Marie asked with confusion colouring her tone.

Anya shook her head with a soft expression “You are not well enough yet for physical training. I will give you lessons that don’t involve physical exertion later.”

She watched as the girl settled down in the pellet of furs more comfortably and left her there. On her way to the training pits she gave one of the guards an order to keep an eye on her tent and the girl.

Anya hoped that her charge had accepted that she now belonged to Trikru, but she would have to speak to Lexa about an official initiation of the girl to Trikru so that no one would mistake her for Skykru in the future.

Even tough Marie’s body was tired and weakened from her illness, her mind was racing and she needed a long time to finally fall asleep and she had a rather restless sleep nightmares plaguing her slumber. In them she saw herself chained in the cell she had been held in the first night in TonDC. Anya and Lexa entered the cell with feral expressions and started to torture her for information. The nightmare alternated with a different scene. There Marie was part of the 100 again. Instead of Lincoln chained in the dropship there were Anya, Tris and Lexa. The others were torturing them and demanded that she joined in. Screams from all three of them echoing around the small room.

The guard who was supposed to keep watch over the general’s tent heard the girl moaning and shouting caught in her nightmare. He waited a certain amount of time if the girl would settle on her own and when the noises continued he went to search the general herself.

The young man found the general on the training pit in sword combat with her second Tris.

“General” he called to get Anya’s attention.

Anya ordered Tris to practise some moves on her own and turned to the guard with a rather worried expression “What is it?”

The guard seemed unsure of himself “The girl seems to be caught up in nightmares, I wasn’t sure if you want me to wake her.”

Anya huffed, she had feared the girl would not handle the situation well “No, I will take care of it. Return to your duty.”

The guard nodded with a relived expression and left.

“Report to Indra for your guard duty, Tris” Anya demanded towards Tris and left her second in the training pits.

When Anya reached her tent she could already hear Marie’s whimpers from outside. As she entered the girl was speaking “No, … not Anya. Please stop…No…”.

Anya crouched down next to the sleeping girl who was tossing around restlessly and shook her shoulders to rouse her from her nightmare.

With a startled gasp Marie opened her eyes. She needed a moment before she focused her gaze on Anya’s face and when she recognized Anya she started to cry and flung herself at the woman.

Anya had been taken by surprise by the girl’s body colliding with her midriff and had to balance them both before they landed on the floor in a heap.

Gently Anya rubbed the girl’s back “Everything is alright. It was just a dream.”

Marie let go of Anya and backed up a slight distance shaking her head vehemently, tears still streaming down her face “You were there and Lexa and Tris …”

“Where?” Anya asked confused.

“In the dropship. You were all chained to the walls and the others … the others they … they tortured you … and they wanted me to join as well … I couldn’t…” the girl gasped out between tears and sniffs.

Anya took a deep breath “Look at me Marie” she ordered in a stern voice.

The girl obliged immediately but was still crying.

“I am here, Marie. Tris is here and Lexa as well” Anya reassured her charge “It was only a dream.”

Marie nodded with a miserable expression and tried to stop her tears.

Anya squeezed the girl’s shoulders reassuringly “That’s it. Calm down. Deep even breath. Everything is well.”

Slowly the girl calmed her breathing and was only sniffling softly now.

Before Anya could say anything more Tris ducked into the tent and smiled at Marie.

“You’re back” the girl sounded honestly relived “I’m glad you’re better, Marie.”

Marie nodded and tried to smile at her, but as hard as she tried she was unable to muster a real smile right now. She was nevertheless relived to see Tris in person. Her nightmare still fresh in her mind.

Anya shooed Tris away “You have guard duty to attend to, Tris. Do not slacken now. You can talk to Marie after she rested some more.”

Tris nodded and gave the other girl one cheering last smile before she ducked out of the tent again leaving Marie and Anya on their own.

“Do you think you can fall asleep again?” Anya asked Marie.

Marie directly shook her head in the negative. She did not want to sleep anymore and she did not want to be alone right now either and Anya would surely leave again otherwise.

Anya accepted the girl’s refusal to go back to sleep even though she would have preferred if the girl tried to rest more but she understood her reluctance.

“I will get us some food” Anya told Marie and made to stand up when Marie took her wrist in a vice like grip.

The girl looked at Anya with wide pleading eyes “Please don’t leave.”

Anya gently pried the girl’s fingers from her wrist “I will return in a few moments. Nothing will happen, Marie.”

The girl still looked rather pleadingly and vulnerable but Anya was unwilling to indulge her young charge. She was already much softer with Marie than she ever had been with Tris or Lexa before. Marie would never grow into a warrior if she did not toughen up quickly and Anya had no intention to mollycoddle the girl.

Marie made no attempt to halt Anya’s retreat again and buried herself into the furs. The minutes seemed to stretch into hours before Anya returned with their food and Marie had to forcefully keep her breathing calm and even.

When Anya finally returned with a plate of food for them to share and a steaming mug of new tea for Marie the girl let out a relived breath and felt herself calm again in the woman’s presence.

Anya sat down on her own furs and place the plate on the floor between them after handing the mug to her charge.

“So, as you won’t be able to take up physical training in the next days I will teach you things you must know of our culture and our language of course” Anya addressed Marie when the girl had started to nibble on a piece of meat.

“Learning trigedasleng is of utmost importance. Not all of us can speak gonasleng or English as you call it. Only warriors learn both languages” Anya explained to the girl.

Marie was listening closely to Anya. She was not feeling particularly hungry in the contrary she felt rather queasy right now.

“There are twelve clans united in the coalition. You will be part of Trikru. Trikru has always had ties with the Boat People, Broadleaf and the Glowing Forest.  Then there are the Plain Raiders, Delphi, Shallow Valley and the Lake people. These clans had already formed ties with each other before the coalition came into existence. Blue Cliff, Rock Line and Desert Clan were more resistant to the idea of the coalition and will probably falter first if there is an unrest” Anya continued her introduction.

Marie had tried to keep count in her head feeling slightly overwhelmed with all the unfamiliar names “Didn’t you say there are twelve clans? I only counted eleven.”

Anya nodded approvingly noting with satisfaction that the girl had obviously listened closely “Yes, the last clan is Ice Nation. We have been at war with Ice Nation for the longest time. They live in the north and are used to ice and snow. They are one of the hugest clans and only joined the coalition faced with the other eleven clans united against them.”

Marie nodded in understanding.

“All the clans have slightly different customs. So you will of course first need to learn Trikru’s customs. As you have already seen we do live in the woods and our greatest enemy now is the Mountain.” Anya continued her explanations.

“You asked me if I was from the Mountain” Marie remarked interrupting Anya.

“I did. The Mountain has plagued our lands since the old world ended. The people living inside the Mountain wield guns and turn our brothers and sisters into monsters. Whoever goes into the Mountain never returns again” Anya explained to Marie with a serious expression on her face.

Marie shuddered involuntary. And this was the place the chancellor had wanted the 100 to go and seek help?

“They turn men into monsters?” Marie asked with a disbelieving expression.

“Pray that you will never be faced with a Reaper, Marie” Anya spoke in a harsh tone “The Reapers live in the tunnels of the Mountain, if they come out they abduct everyone they encounter. They are unnaturally strong and are hard to kill. Reapers do not recognize their kin any longer, they are soulless monsters.”

As Anya saw Marie’s shivering the woman started to doubt that telling the girl about the Mountain and the Reapers now had been the best timing.

“That is one of the reasons you should never venture through the woods near the Mountain on your own” Anya finished the information about the Mountain with a serious expression.

Marie nodded immediately and hoped she would really never meet a Reaper in person.

“So, now let’s start with the basics of trigedasleng” Anya instructed.

The next few hours Marie learned how to properly introduce herself in the new language, the proper way to address others, to count, basic commands in combat, directions and other essential stuff.

At the end of the lesson Marie’s head was swimming with all the new information and she was sure she would forget most of it anyway again. She was starting to develop a headache and rubbed at her temples tiredly, her coughing had worsened as well in the last few minutes.

“That should suffice for today” Anya closed the lesson. She had seen the girl getting more and more unfocused as the lesson continued on and she knew that her charge would not have memorized everything she had just been told.

Anya gathered the plate and mug and stood up.

“Lay down and rest” the woman ordered and opened the tent flap.

Marie could see that it had already started to darken outside and she was actually relived now to be able to rest. She did not think she could concentrate on anything more this evening, her mind felt sluggish.

When Anya returned sometime later her young charge had already fallen asleep and Anya silently settled in her own furs for the night.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on chapter 15  
> Anya brought Marie from the healer’s hut back to their tent where she tells the girl that an army will be raised to march on the 100 soon and left her to sleep some more after. The girl is plagued by nightmares and a guard collects Anya to comfort her second. Anya teaches Marie knowledge of the clans, Mount Weather and basic Trigedasleng.

Chapter 16

On the following morning the messengers sent out to raise an army returned with the first warriors in tow.

Anya had taken Marie with her to the training pit to watch Tris’ training. Marie tried to keep her attention on the training combat between Anya and Tris but her focus strayed ever so often to the new warriors.

More warriors kept arriving in TonDC non-stop. Sometimes only one or two at time, other times a larger group arrived together. Marie watched as more tents were erected on all the available places all around TonDC. She also saw Lexa and Indra welcoming all of the arriving warriors and personally instructing them where their tents should be erected.

Some of the warriors also came to the training pits and most of the strangers eyed Marie silently. All of them had heard word about the Sky girl that had been allowed to stay in TonDC and all of them were curios to get a glimpse of the girl for themselves.

Anya noticed Marie’s attention straying every so often and finally had enough of her lack of attention. She stepped up to the girl almost silently and snapped her fingers in front of the girl’s face abruptly.

Marie startled with a loud gasp and looked at Anya shamefaced.

“Sorry” the girl mumbled almost inaudibly.

Anya pursed her lips with a glare at the girl. She sent Tris to join a departing hunting party and directed Marie to follow her.

She led her charge to an edge of TonDC where stacks of wood were stored.

“Take some logs and stock them for a fire” Anya demanded from Marie and sat down cross-legged on the soft grass.

Marie blinked at the woman helplessly for a moment and when Anya did not say anything else the girl straightened her shoulders and started with taking some logs.

She tried to pile them together logically and looked back to Anya.

The woman just observed Marie with a bored expression that did not give any indication if the girl was doing well or failing miserably.

“Light it” Anya ordered at last with a hint of impatience in her voice.

Marie bit her lip with a doubtful expression and stood in front of her pile of logs with no real idea how to accomplish her task. They had only once spoken the theory through of how to light a fire without any aid in her earth class.

“You told me you were taught how to light a fire” Anya reminded the girl with impatience now clear in her voice.

“Yeah, but with a lighter or some matches” Marie shrugged helplessly still biting at her lips.

Anya stood up with a loud huff “So you don’t know how to light a fire at all?”

Marie nodded with a miserable expression looking on the ground ashamedly.

“And how do you expect to survive a night in the cold or to cook your prey?” Anya lectured the girl sternly in a harsh tone.

Marie just shrugged again looking at the grass and not at Anya’s stern face anymore.

Anya shook her head at the girl with an annoyed expression and checked the pile of logs the girl had put together.

“Even if you could light it, this pile would never burn like that. You piled it completely the wrong way” Anya commented with the previous impatience now turned into annoyance in her voice.

Marie looked at her with her big grey eyes and the woman huffed.

Anya collected some smaller twigs and knocked Marie’s pile over completely.

“Come here and watch” Anya ordered and showed the girl how to pile the logs with smaller twigs in between so that everything would burn evenly.

As Marie watched Anya lighting the fire with her bare hands a figure approached them from the treeline.

Anya’s eyes snapped up to the approaching figure and she had a dagger in hand in a heartbeat only relaxing her stance when she recognized the figure as Lincoln.

They spoke quickly in trigedasleng much too quickly for Marie to be able to understand anything even though she did recognize a word here and there.

Anya seemed rather upset about what Lincoln had told her and to Marie it seemed as if Lincoln was pleading for something from Anya. They seemed to have reached a consensus as they nodded to each other and Lincoln disappeared into the woods.

Anya turned to Marie with a guarded expression “Come. I need to leave for some time now. I don’t want you alone in the village right now.”

Marie blinked at Anya confused because of the shift of Anya’s mood and followed the woman mutely. The question to ask what was going on burned on Marie’s tongue but she thought it better to remain silent for now and not to annoy Anya even more.

Marie had to hurry to keep up to Anya’s pace and followed the woman through the village. Anya had searched for Lexa and exchanged some words with the commander too lowly for Marie to hear.

“You will stay with the commander for now” Anya told Marie and left on the spot. Marie barely had time to blink before the woman was gone from her sight.

“Is something wrong?” Marie asked the commander hesitantly.

Lexa shook her head with a neutral expression “Nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Alira is sleeping so you will have to stick to me for the moment” the commander told the girl.

Marie shrugged and as she did not want to be a bother to the commander she suggested “I can just go to the tent if that’s better?”

Lexa shook her head again “No, tensions are running high right now. It is better if you stay here now. Most of the warriors have already settled that were expected to arrive today. How about I show you how to ride now that you are better?”

Marie was enthusiastic about the idea right away just like Lexa had hoped. Anya had told her that she was going to speak to the leader of Skykru now and they both agreed that they did not want the girl to get involved there.

The horse Marie had been petting the day before recognized her immediately neighed at the girl and came to the fence to be petted again. It was one of the commander’s personal war horses and even the most experienced groom was wary of the creature.

Marie smiled at the black horse and climbed onto the fence to have a higher perch. The mare butted against her outstretched hand and Marie happily felt the soft skin of its nose.

Marie diverted her smile to Lexa standing next to her “Does it have a name, commander?”

Lexa nodded “She is named _sontam_ , which translated to …”

Marie interrupted her boldly “Summer, Anya has started to teach me basic things in your language.”

The commander nodded with a small smile ghosting on the corners of her lips “You are learning quickly then.” While Gustus who was shadowing the commander as always glared at the girl for her insolence.

Marie shrugged as she did not have any comparison she could not judge that. She was fascinated with the new language. It was sometimes similar to English but completely different in other ways, where she thought the harsher pronunciation would be the hardest for her to master.

A grounder who was working as a groom in TonDC came up to them carrying brushes and horse tack.

Marie observed how the commander only nodded in acknowledgement but did not actually thank the man but she waited until the grounder had left them again to voice her question.

“Don’t all of you say thank you? Or just because your commander?” Marie asked with curiosity written clearly on her face. She remembered Anya already had told her something similar but the concept still seemed so alien to her that she wanted more confirmation.

“It is the groom’s duty to fulfil this tasks. You would not thank him for doing his duty” Lexa explained with a mild glimmer in her green eyes. The commander noted pleased that the girl seemed to be genuinely trying to adapt to their culture. “But as commander they are all my subjects, so I do not have to explicitly thank any of them.”

Marie looked at the young woman with slightly wide eyes. She was still new to this hierarchy and on the Ark there was also one leader namely the chancellor but the chancellor clearly was not as powerful as the commander seemed to be to the grounders. The girl was rather fascinated by this position and compared it to a kind of queen in her head.

Lexa presented Marie with one of the brushes and climbed through the fence.

“Heda, you should not…” Gustus started to interfere with a disapproving grimace.

Lexa simple shushed her personal guard and encouraged the girl to follow her.

Marie looked at the brush in her hand rather doubtfully “I thought you wanted to show me how to ride.”

Lexa had to chuckle at the girl’s disdainful expression “Grooming the horses is part of riding them. You have to take care of the horses that carries you. Just like you have to sharpen your blades before and after a battle to keep them in pristine condition.”

Marie nodded with a slight pout but understood the logic behind that and followed the commander to the other side of the fence.

Lexa showed the girl how to correctly handle the brush and together they brushed the black mare for a few minutes while the horse seemed to enjoy the attention it was getting just fine.

Gustus was glaring at Marie non-stop and Marie felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise and looked over to the bulky grounder every few seconds. When she stood directly next to the commander so that she hoped the man would be unable to hear her words the girl asked in a low whisper “Why is he glaring at me all the time?”

Lexa could not stop her laugh now but also whispered back her answer “Gustus thinks it is unbecoming for Heda to brush a horse.”

“Oh” the girl said and looked at Lexa slightly unsure now.

Lexa just gave her a mild smile picking up on the girl’s uncertainty instantly “Don’t mind him.”

Marie nodded but could not get rid of the weird sensation of being watched.

When they finally finished brushing down the horse Lexa showed the girl how to correctly saddle the horse. Marie wanted to try it herself but she was too short and could not lift the saddle high enough to get it over the horses back.

After that the commander crouched down next to the horse and offered the girl her hands to boost her onto the back of the huge creature. The girl would definitely not be able to get up on her own without the aid.

But Marie blinked at the woman totally confused and had no idea what to do.

After Lexa had explained it to the girl Marie started on her first try with the wrong foot and the commander corrected her again with a gentle tone.

With Lexa’s help the girl finally sat on top of the horse and now looked utterly bewildered.

Marie clung to the saddle strongly and her heart was beating way to fast.

The horse picked up on the girls discomfort and whinnied at her cocking its head back. Marie only clung harder to the saddle and looked at Lexa with pleading eye “I want to get down, now!”

Lexa shook her head with twinkling eyes and squeezed one of the girl’s legs reassuringly “Deep breath. You won’t fall of and if you do I will catch you.”

Marie tried to control her panic and closed her eyes and also gripped the commander’s hand on her leg for a bit of more comfort.

After a few minutes the girl finally relaxed on the horses back and let go of the commander’s hand again. Lexa had not even batted an eye also the girl’s grip had been slightly painful.

Marie saw the commander taking the reins of the horse and the woman led the horse over the meadow slowly. Marie needed a few moments to get used to the sensation of the moving animal under her. When she realized that she would not fall off directly even though it was awfully high she even started to enjoy the movements.

After a few rounds of slow walking the commander urged her horse into a faster tempo and the girl started to let out squeals of joy. Lexa watched on as her horse trotted around the meadow and was slightly impressed how well the girl was faring for her first ride alone on a horse.

Marie thought it felt absolutely amazing when the horse picked up speed. Going with the movements of the horse almost felt strangely natural to her and she did not mind the height any more after all.

Her fun was abruptly cut short when there was a loud commotion in TonDC. Lexa called her horse to her with a whistle and helped the girl down from it.

Marie had to be steadied by the commander for a moment as her legs felt rather funny. The already setting sun showed her that she had been way longer on that horse then she had thought.

“You will learn another time what to do after a ride” Lexa told the girl and directed her to follow her in the direction of the commotion.

Marie nearly had to run to keep up with the woman’s fast purposeful strides to TonDC. First she smiled when she saw that Anya was in the centre of the commotion. But soon her smile fell when she saw the body of a grounder on the ground next to Anya.

Marie turned to the commander with a confused expressions. The grounders around them were mostly muttering to themselves or demanding something for which Marie’s knowledge of the language was not sufficient to understand.

What she did understand made her heart sink, the other delinquents had killed another grounder.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 16  
> Marie watched Anya and Tris train together while warriors arrive in TonDC. Anya shows Marie how to light a fire after the girl failed miserably at the task. Lincoln calls Anya away from TonDC. In the meantime Marie is taught by Lexa how to ride on one of her horses. When Anya returns from the meeting with the Skykru leader she brings with her the body of another warrior killed there.

Chapter 17

Marie stood in the middle of the commotion of the grounders in TonDC slightly behind Lexa.

The body of a dead grounder lay to Anya’s feet and another one was obviously waiting in Nyko’s hut for the healer’s attention.

The warriors around her were all shouting at once some had even drawn their weapons and were demanding retribution from the commander for the harm the sky children had caused at once.

One of the warriors who had only arrived at TonDC in the morning suddenly shoved her from behind and sneered “Let us start with this one!”

It was actually Gustus that stepped in and pushed the man to his knees the commander glaring the warrior down while Anya helped Marie up again from the ground.

Marie shrank into Anya’s side trying to disappear behind her. The people were extremely angry right now and she was afraid they would kill her before marching on the other delinquents.

She felt Anya’s arm curl protectively around her back and she was pushed even firmer into the woman’s body while the woman’s other hand held up a dagger in a threating gesture.

The commander ended the commotion with some quick orders in trigedasleng. Marie only caught some words from the orders. If she understood correctly there would be an attack soon on the other delinquents but not tonight.

The warrior who had pushed Marie down was dragged away by two other warriors. Marie watched them go away and wondered what was to happen to him. By attacking her so openly the warrior had obviously defied the commander’s order that she was to stay and be treated as one of their own. Marie had no idea what the consequences were for defying a direct order in such a fashion.

Marie was pulled along by Anya and stumbled behind the woman silently. Anya directed them both to the healer’s hut.

Marie could see a man lying on the cot she had occupied the day before. The man’s face was covered in some paint and he wore armour that would blend in perfectly with the foliage of the trees. Blood was pouring from a wound in the man’s thigh. The wound seemed rather small and there was no arrow sticking out of it so Marie assumed a bullet was wedged into warrior’s leg.

Anya directed her to sit on the other cot of the room and wait. Marie obliged without a word and her eyes were glued to the bleeding wound of the warrior. Nyko was still nowhere to be found and it seemed apart from the woman who had taken care of her when she had fallen ill no one in the village seemed to master any healing skills.

Marie watched as Anya left the hut again and all she could do was wait for her return.

The warrior had barely acknowledged their presence in the hut. His dark eyes were glazed with pain and what Marie could see of his skin through the armour and the face paint looked alarmingly pale.

Marie did not have any real knowledge of healing but she had seen Clarke patching up Jasper. She hoped someone would come and patch this warrior up soon as well or the man would probably bleed out. She knew that the bullet would have to be removed from his thigh as well or an infection would set in killing the warrior for sure.

Anya returned sometime later with the commander and Alira. The older handmaiden quickly kneeled next to the wounded warrior and assessed the wound through the hole in the armour.

The woman felt the warrior’s forehead and her hand came back sweaty.

“I will try my best, Heda” Alira said but to Marie it seemed as if the woman was already convinced that she would not be able to save the man’s life.

Marie watched on silently as the armour was cut from the wounded leg and the woman tried to extract the bullet from the leg.

The man had to be held down by two other warriors who had stood outside the hut. Alira did not want to give the man herbs for the pain as she feared if the man felt asleep he would never wake again.

Marie shuddered with every pained scream torn from the warrior’s throat. She observed alarmed how much blood the warrior was losing in the time it took Alira to dig the small bullet out of the man’s flesh. The side of the cot was completely soaked red with fresh blood and some was gathering in a small pool on the floor of the hut.

She felt Anya’s steadying hand on her shoulder and the woman’s strong presence beside her all the time. If she wanted to become a warrior she guessed she should get used to the sight of bloody wounds and dying warriors rather sooner than later. Fighting a battle with swords and bows was prone to be bloody after all. Still her stomach felt rather queasy and she wished she could ease the man’s suffering somehow.

When Alira finally succeeded and held the bloody bullet in her fingers the others in the hut eyed the bullet warily. Bullets were associated with the mountain man’s weapons and the grounders had learnt that fighting with a sword against such a weapon was a fight easily lost. That the sky children now were armed with more of the same weapons made them a more dangerous opponent and they would have to be dealt with quickly before they could side themselves with the mountain men. The bullet dug out of the wound was proof that the sky children had found more guns. Anya and Lexa believed Marie’s word that only one pistol had been in their possession previously. As grounders did not touch any guns it was possible that there some left in old bunkers or other uninhabited structures.

Marie had not taken her eyes from the wounded warrior and saw him loose consciousness.

“Anya” Marie touched the woman’s side to alert her mentor to the changed condition of the warrior. Marie was unable to see if the warrior’s chest was still rising and falling or if he had stopped breathing all together.

Anya and Lexa simultaneously focused on the wounded warrior’s face again their eyes leaving the bloody bullet.

Marie saw Alira bent over the man’s body in front of his face. She thought the woman might be listening for breathing but the man’s chest seemed to have stopped all movements.

With a grim expression the woman looked at the commander and shook her head silently. The gesture confirmed Marie’s observation, the warrior had died probably due to the high blood loss he had suffered.

Marie had never before watched a human being die before. Sure she had seen the floating of her father but he had still been breathing as his body had been flung from the Ark.

The grim expression of Alira’s face was mirrored by all the others present in the healers hut. It took only a few moments before the others sprung to action again but to Marie the seconds felt like a whole eternity.

The commander gave orders to Alira and the two other warriors who had held their now dead comrade down before. Marie could not hear the words against the loud ringing sound in her ears. She watched on totally catatonic as Alira started to strip the man’s body. His face and body were washed clean of all the spilled blood and the face paint. Anya gave one final squeeze to Marie’s shoulder and left the girl’s side to take on the task of cleaning the armour of the fallen warrior.

Marie had not noticed when Lexa and the two other warriors had left but when her focus returned a bit she saw that Anya was still cleaning the armour and Alira was now re-applying the face paint to the dead man with a thin brush.

Anya had watched her charge from time to time spotting the signs of shock setting in. She had thought it better to let the girl snap out of it on her own. When Marie’s grey eyes finally regained some focus and the girl became aware of her surroundings again Anya finished with the last piece of armour.

Marie saw Anya putting down the last piece of armour and looking at her with a serious expression.

“The pyres will be lit tomorrow at sun down” Anya told Marie and ordered the girl to follow her out of the healer’s hut.

Marie noticed that night was already starting to fall around the camp. In a slight distance Marie could see someone sneaking through the camp and she exerted her eyes to get a closer look.

“John?” Marie exclaimed disbelievingly. As the girl started to take steps into the boy’s direction, Anya put one hand over her mouth and slung her other arm around the smaller body pulling her back behind a tent and ducking out of the way.

“No, Marie” Anya lowly hissed at the girl in a firm voice “His fate is not your fate.”

Marie looked Anya with a questioning gaze not understanding the meaning behind the words, but she accepted them nevertheless and did not struggle against the woman’s hold on her body. She did trust Anya after all. She had just not known for sure that John had still been in TonDC until now.

They both watched silently as the boy snuck out of TonDC, but Marie saw that the guards on duty had turned away from him, as if they wanted to give him a clear path.

A few moments after the boy was out of sight and his footsteps had faded into the woods surrounding TonDC, Anya slackened her hold on Marie and stood up again, leading the girl back to their tent.

The guards returned to their normal positions as well and Marie watched all of the proceedings with confusion evident on her face.

Anya led her through the village with quick purposeful strides. The village was oddly silent at the moment as the inhabitants were mourning the loss of two more lives.

Marie followed Anya silently but she still kept a questioning gaze on Anya when they had entered their tent.

Anya huffed when the girl kept her under a piercing gaze and crouched down next to her directing the girl to sit on her furs.

“Why have all the guards let John flee?” Marie asked confusion colouring her words.

“He was set free deliberately, Marie” Anya explained and after a short moment of silent contemplation on how much to tell her charge, she decided to be truthful with her “He has been infected with an illness that will weaken the Skykru before the attack.”

Marie nodded cautiously feeling sick again “You are making them sick on purpose?”

Anya nodded again “Biological war fare. It is simple but effective. You have not been exposed to the illness so you would have caught it with contact to the boy. I did not think we would run into him as I thought he had been let go already.”

Marie bit her lips silent in thought “You are going to kill the other 100, aren’t you?”

A nod of confirmation was her only answer from Anya for now before the woman squeezed her shoulder “You are not part of them anymore. Do not concern yourself with their fate, they brought it onto themselves.”

“When will you attack?” Marie voiced her question almost too low to hear.

“In a day or two. The illness needs some time to spread and thin out their numbers” Anya explained almost emotionless.

With a sinking feeling in her stomach Marie registered Anya’s words. In two days at most the other delinquents would be killed for good. She was utterly confused and overwhelmed with what to feel. She had been horrified to hear they had burned down a village and how Lincoln had been tortured by their hands and now the two warrior’s death had been added to the list, but knowing they would all be killed left a sour taste in her mouth.

When Marie opened and closed her mouth a few times without uttering an actual word and tears gathered in her grey eyes again, Anya moved and pulled the girl into an embrace.

She felt the girl’s smaller body shudder against her own with the force of her tears and she whispered soothing non-sense words to Marie to calm her a bit. Anya understood how hard the situation must be on the girl.

Anya let the girl cry herself to sleep in her embrace and cautiously lowered the girl onto her furs and covered her, sweeping some stray hair out of her face gently. With that she left the girl asleep safely tucked under her furs.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 17  
> Marie watches with Anya and Lexa as Alira tries to safe the wounded warrior without success. The bullet in the man’s leg is prove that Skykru now owns more guns. Marie sees Murphy’s staged escape in the night hearing from Anya that the boy has been infected with an illness to weaken the other delinquents before they will attack.

Chapter 18

The night had been exhausting for Marie and Anya. The girl had woken several times through the night screaming from nightmares.

In the end Anya had let the girl share her furs again to get her to fall asleep once more at all. But despite Anya’s reassuring body beside her Marie could not flee from the nightmares for long.

Vision of the Trikru army slaughtered by the other delinquents and their guns; and Anya, Tris and Lexa bleeding out from bullet wounds with Marie standing beside them helplessly made her wake up screaming again and again.

When the morning eventually came both Anya and Marie were tired still. Anya dearly hoped her young charge would learn quickly how to cope with the life of a warrior or sleep would be evading their tent for month to come.

Marie was silent and deep in thought when she washed herself in the bowl of water in the other part of the tent and dressed again. She noted proudly that she did not need any help now anymore on how to fasten all the clothing correctly. But her mood was sour and she knew that in the night she would see her first burial according the Trikru customs.

“How do you burry people, Anya?” Marie finally broke the silence in the tent while she tried in vain to braid her hair again.

Anya shook her head at the girl’s attempt and swatted her hands away gently “Leave it like that. It will need a wash. We will go to the river now.”

Marie nodded but still cocked her head to Anya as the woman had not answered her original question at all.

Anya huffed “I will tell you about the customs on the way. Let’s grab some breakfast first. You are not progressed enough to stay silent enough that I could hunt our food on the way.”

Marie lightly glared at the woman annoyed at being labelled not skilled enough for a hunt but she kept her mouth shut. Anya had way more experience in the woods so if the woman thought she would startle all the possible pray away she was probably correct anyway.

Anya quickly gathered what they would both need for a bath in the river and then shooed the girl to the communal kitchen hut’s to have a quick breakfast.

The time they started their trip would not matter anyway as the heat of the summer had already ended moons ago now. The girl would probably find the water freezing cold and Anya hoped she would not get sick again. She could have asked Lexa for the use of the commander’s bathing tube but her charge should not get used to such luxuries. The girl would start as a simple warrior having to work herself up the hierarchy, she already had a slight advantage as not all the youngsters were taken as seconds and being taken as a second by a general was an honour.

Anya also had to tell her young charge something which she feared would upset the girl even more. In the night before another contraption had fallen from the sky. The scouts which Tris had been allowed to join in the night had reported that no one at the crash site was alive. Anya did not know whether the girl still had any emotional ties to inhabitants of the space ship or if with the death of her mother she had been on her own.

Breakfast was a quick and silent affair. Marie had picked up on Anya’s tenseness and they had seen the pyres on a free spot in the village for the evening on the way to the fire pits.

After breakfast Marie was led out of the village into the woods surrounding TonDC by Anya. Fortunately her ankle had stopped hurting all together and she made progress with walking through the forest as silent as possible.

“See, I can move quietly” Marie remarked feeling uneasy with the continued silence.

The corner of Anya’s mouth twitched upwards when she replied in a slightly taunting voice “Still sounding like a baby _pauna_.”

Marie pouted she did not know what a _pauna_ was but the teasing tone of Anya’s voice made the meaning of the words clearer.

“But you are improving” Anya relented with a smile ghosting on her lips seeing the girl’s pout.

Marie beamed proudly at Anya and let her gaze filter over the woods around them.

“How far is it to the river?” Marie asked. She had not noticed any change in the surroundings at all. Anya had told her earlier that the river was reached quickly from TonDC and they had been moving for a rather long time now.

“Not far” Anya answered observing the girl next to her more closely “Does your leg still hurt?”

Marie shook her head “No, totally fine again.”

Anya nodded “Then we can pick up combat training later again”. Tris had been allowed to rest for a few hours after the scouting mission in the night and would be able to join their combat training.

“You should watch your surroundings more closely” Anya commented after another few minutes of silent walk. She had let them in circles for the last part and had hoped the girl would pick up on that on her own.

Marie frowned confusion colouring her voice “Why?”

“Look around you” Anya commanded and waited for the girl to do a scan of the trees around them. She had stopped in front of a tree which had a unique shape and was often used as reference by the Trikru.

Marie needed a few moments to come to the right conclusion and she crossed her arms over her chest with an accusatory glare “You led us in circles. I have seen this tree at least three times.”

Anya nodded “Then you should have spotted that three rounds ago. We have passed the tree four times now. You must always keep your eyes and ears open.”

Marie nodded with a slight pout but kept silent. She had not anticipated the possibility that the walk was a lesson in itself already.

Anya turned in another direction “The river flows in this direction. The walk is not long.”

Marie followed the woman and now tried to keep a closer look on the trees and listened to the sound of different animals in the woods and the wind ruffling the leaves.

“There is something you need to know” Anya started “In the night another of your ships fell from the sky.”

Marie blinked at the woman. She was still waiting on what customs the Trikru had for a burial and this piece of information seemed totally out of the blue.

“Scouts have already searched the crash site. No one has survived” Anya told the girl bluntly but keeping a close watch of her reaction.

Marie gulped harshly but nodded mutely “Was it the whole Ark?”

Anya did not know the answer to this question. The commander was wondering the same thing and she told the girl so.

The rest of the way to the river passed in silence. Marie was lost in thought. She had not known a lot of other people on the ark. But the possibility that they were all gone now felt weird. It was nothing she could change so Marie decided it would be better for her not to ponder on it further.

But the actual sight of the river soon caught her complete attention anyway. The sight was breath taking. A small waterfall was cascading into the water. The water was clear and Marie could see the ground of the river.

Anya had directly went to a spot on the shore and laid out their gear. She loosened the braids from her own hair and started to shrug out of her armour.

“Start undressing or do you want a bath in your clothes?” Anya asked the girl with a teasing look over her shoulder.

Anya’s upper body was already bare except for the breast band covering her breasts when Marie unlocked her gaze from the water and stepped up next to the woman.

“You are also taking a bath?” Marie asked feeling slightly shy to undress completely in front of her.

Anya rolled her eyes at her charge “You do not have anything I haven’t seen so far. Are all sky people so shy about their bodies?”

Marie blinked at her and bit her lip “I don’t know.”

Anya huffed at the girl who still had to start undressing “Being naked is nothing to be shy about.”

Marie nodded and when she still failed to undress Anya threatened “If you don’t undress right now I will throw you into the water like that and you will walk back in the same clothes.”

Marie gulped at the woman but she did not doubt the woman’s words for a second and hastily started to undress.

She placed her clothes next to Anya’s on the ground and saw that Anya had already gone into the river. The woman was swimming through the water with practised movements.

Marie eyed the water uncertainly it was obviously deeper than she had previously thought. She had no idea how to swim. It did not look particularly difficult as Anya swam.

“Come on in” Anya summoned the girl and she came back to the more shallow part of the river.

“There are no creatures in this part of the river” Anya tried to reassure the girl recognizing the signs of fear on her young face.

Marie tested the water with a foot at first and quickly took a step back a frown on her face.

“It is so cold” Marie complained to Anya in a slightly whiny voice.

Anya huffed and stepped out of the water “You get used to the temperature quickly and it is either the cold water or stay dirty.”

Marie eyed the water warily. It was cold and it was deep. Before she had the chance to make a decision to try to get used to the temperature slowly Anya had circled around her and quickly thrown her into the deeper water.

Marie resurfaced to the surface gulping for air her arms flailing through the water panicky.

Anya rolled her eyes at Marie’s reaction and after gathering the soap she joined the girl back into the water.

Marie had managed to stay above the surface but was still flailing around completely uncoordinated.

Anya snaked an arm around the girl’s body “Calm down, you won’t drown.”

Marie looked at her with wide eyes “I don’t know how to swim.”

Anya nodded and answered in a dry tone “That much was obvious. It is too cold to stay in the water long. You will learn how to swim in the next warm season.”

Marie was pulled onto on even shallower part of the river and put down by Anya.

They both washed up in a hurried silence. The longer Marie stayed in the water the colder it felt to her. Her teeth had started to chatter because of the cold when they finally went back onto the shore together.

Marie was handed a towel from the woman and they both dried up quickly. Anya had brought another set of clothes for both of them and after dressing she braided the girl’s still damp hair away from her face and also braided her own hair in her usual style.

“How late do you think it is right now?” Anya asked the girl when she had packed up their things.

Marie looked at the position of the sun “Around midday I guess.”

“Correct” Anya nodded with a satisfied expression “So you remember some of the lessons already.”

On the way back to TonDC Anya repeated some of the lectures in Trigedasleng they had had the previous days.

Tris was already waiting for their return on the outskirt of TonDC when they reached the village.

The girl smiled a kind smile at Marie not having seen her for a few days “You look healthier again”.

Marie nodded and reciprocated the other girl’s smile with one of her own. She was only coughing seldom today and felt better except for the tiredness.

Their training session was exhausting. Marie was sure a variety of new bruises would bloom over her body tomorrow from the many times Tris and Anya had sieged her today. She was relieved when she was allowed to move from the training pit and only had to watch Anya and Tris spar against each other.

Anya had been pleased to note that Marie’s stamina and technique were improving. The improvements were small and slow but she was improving.

Marie observed them silently keeping a close watch on both of their movements. Tris even managed to siege Anya once and the girl was beaming a great smile.

Anya nodded pleased at the girl “You did well, Tris. You will be allowed to join the battle against the sky children.”

Marie blinked at the woman. Through the day she had somewhat even forgotten the other delinquents for some time.

Tris glowed with pride at the news and directly stormed away to tell one of her friends in TonDC of the news.

“Will I be fighting as well?” Marie voiced the loudest of her thoughts in a shaky voice.

Anya shook her head resolutely “You still have to learn a lot before you will be able to face a real battle.”

Marie nodded unsure if she should feel relieved or not. She knew that as a warrior she would have to fight someday. But she did not know if she would be able to fight against the other delinquents at all. Did warriors have to face their friends or even their families in battles?

Marie voiced her thoughts to Anya worriedly.

Anya regarded the young girl next to her thoughtfully for a moment. Trikru children grew up with war surrounding them. They would never think to ask such a question at all.

“We fight whomever we have to fight if we are ordered to by Heda” Anya told her in a serious voice.

Marie nodded mulling over the new information silently in her head “Would I have to fight the other 100 if my training was not lacking so much?”

Anya pursued her lips impatiently “Do not ponder thoughts that don’t carry any meaning at the moment. Your training is, as you put it, very much lacking at the moment.”

Marie nodded one last time and tried to banish the thoughts from her mind altogether.

“Now, you can try to light a fire again” Anya demanded, trying to divert the girl’s attention from her glum thoughts.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> I hope you are all well and still enjoy the story so far.  
> And I hope my English skills are sufficient enough as well, otherwise I need another beta reader.  
> Let me know what you think.  
> Cairlinn
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 18  
> After an exhausting night for both Anya and Marie with constant nightmares Anya guides Marie to the river to bath. Marie is thrown into water by Anya when she is too afraid to step into the water. The girl learns that another ship has fallen from the sky the night before and all passengers have died. Marie trains with Tris and Anya again. Tris wins against Anya once and will be allowed to march with the army against Skykru as a reward.

Chapter 19

Marie was successful in lighting the fire at her very first attempt and beamed proudly at Anya.

Anya nodded with a pleased glint in her brown eyes “Remember, this one was just so easy to light because all the wood was dry. Out in the woods it won’t be this easy.”

Marie’s smile lessened a bit but she nodded that she understood. She was thankful that Anya had let her practise with dry wood at all, she would not put it above the woman to let her start in the worst condition possible.

She was still feeling slightly insecure about all the things she did not know that came totally natural to the children of the village. So she was really grateful that the woman seemed to go a bit easy on her.

A few hours later Marie had to retract her previous perception. Anya had insisted that in order to prepare Marie for a possible hunt she needed to learn how to track prey on her own.

Tracking an animal was much more difficult than Marie had anticipated. Anya was only shadowing her silently without giving her any aid at all.

The woman would just sometimes throw in comments that Marie did not find helpful at all. Most of the comments were delivered in a sharp voice sometimes laced with a bit of venom and impatience evident as well.

After walking around the forest for what felt like hours Marie stopped moving all together and crossed her arms over her chest sulking silently. She had not seen any proof that there were animals at all except a few tracks that Anya had told her were quite obviously several days old.

“What is it now?” Anya asked her young charge in a bored voice.

Marie glared at her “I did not find any tracks. This is completely pointless.”

Anya pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance “How do you expect to find prey if you give up?”

“I do not know if you noticed but I do not know what to look for at all” Marie complained her temper flaring up. Her mood was sourer then usual due to the lack of sleep.

The woman growled under her breath and turned on her heel without a word storming away in fast strides leaving the startled girl behind.

Marie had to hurry in order not to lose Anya out of her sight. She was nibbling on her lips nervously. She knew that she should not have snapped at the woman like that.

“Anya, please wait” Marie called after her “I am sorry, really.”

Anya let the girl trail after her silently for most of the way to the village and completely ignored her presence all together only stopping on the outskirt of TonDC.

“If it were not for the funeral pyres to be burnt soon, you would still be out in the woods” Anya hissed at the girl impatient “If you give up like that on every lesson, you will really never become a warrior.”

Marie just nodded silently feeling chastised but she knew that she had earned the rant with her previous behaviour.

The atmosphere in the village was gloomy when they joined the inhabitants. A pyre had been erected in a large free space in the centre of the village. 

The warriors of the village were dressed in their armour and wore their war paints on their faces.

Marie could see two small children, she guessed them to be around four and six year’s old, standing directly in front of the pyre. The older of the two, a brunette girl, held her brother tightly and they were both crying. They were probably the fallen warrior’s children. Marie did not see a woman with them, so she wondered where the kid’s mother might be.

They body of the warrior had already been placed on the pyre. He was also dressed in his armour and his war paint had been applied again. To Marie the man looked as if he might just be sleeping and could wake at any moment.

When the last rays of sunshine left and it turned dark, the commander strolled out of her tent closely followed by Gustus and Indra. All of them were clad in armour and war paint as well. Heda looked absolutely impressive in her dark armour with only the blood red sash as a dab of paint.

Lexa spoke some words to the inhabitants of TonDC. Marie was unable to understand the whole speech. She got that Lexa promised her warriors the blood of the delinquents in return.

After the speech the people were chanting some words. Marie only knew the word for blood out of them so far.

The commander was handed a torch and when she ignited the pyres for the two warriors the chanting stopped abruptly. The village was eerie silent except for the two crying children.

Marie looked up to Anya who was watching the flames consuming the body like everybody else did. Marie inched a bit more closely to Anya to feel the woman’s strong and reassuring presence.

It seemed to take forever for the flames to consume the bodies. When it finally had the atmosphere changed again suddenly.

This time it was Indra giving a short speech to the people of TonDC. She spoke of the warriors the fallen men had been. The honour they had gained in dying a warrior’s death. They would celebrate this night in tribute to them.

Celebrating in tribute for someone translated to gathering around a large bonfire. Alcoholic beverages were distributed and stories of the fallen warriors’ lives were recalled.

Marie declined the offer of the alcohol and just lingered close to Anya silently. She did not feel well participating in the celebration of a death. A death the other delinquents had caused.

She saw Tris animatedly re-telling her siege over Anya in today’s training to a few of the other seconds that were close in age.

When Marie declined the beverage for the third time in the night Anya forcefully pushed the mug into her hand.

“Declining is to dishonour the dead” Anya explained to her young charge.

Marie looked at the drink disdainfully. Judging from the effect a few mugs had had on others around the bonfire Marie judged the brew would be pretty strong and probably tasted even worse than the watered wine she had before.

Nevertheless she nodded to Anya. Disrespecting the death of the warriors was not her intention at all. So she cautiously took a small sip from the mug and had to cough harshly from the burn in her throat.

Anya outright snorted a laugh at her reaction “You do not need to drink more than one mug.”

The words did not really reassure Marie at all. The mug felt awfully heavy and she swore she could even after the first sip feel the effects of the alcohol take hold in her body.

Staring into the dancing flames of the bonfire Marie wondered silently if the delinquents would be burned as well. In her mind there was no chance the others could win against the warriors.

She was sure some would probably die because the delinquents now had more guns but she highly doubted they had enough bullets to siege a whole army that outnumbered them by far.

On the other side of the fire Marie could see the two children that had cried at the funeral pyre. She observed as many warriors went to them and spoke a few words to the children. They seemed to have pulled themselves together rather well and now stood proud and tall.

“They are the warrior’s children, aren’t they?” Marie asked Anya faintly when she was sure no one else would listen.

Anya followed her gaze and nodded with a grave expression.

“What about their mother?” Marie asked cautiously. She still had not seen any woman with the two kids.

Anya shook her head “Taken by Maunon two winters ago.”

Marie swallowed against the lump in her throat. That was what death did. It teared families apart.

“What happens to them now?” Marie asked with a quiver in her voice. She had no idea what would have happened to her if she had not been put into the sky box. Maybe she would have been locked away anyway with no one to look after her after her mother’s death.

“They will be taken to Polis” Anya answered.

Marie looked at her with confusion clear on her face.

“Polis is the capitol. There is an orphanage where orphaned children are taken care of” Anya explained.

The gathering around the bonfire continued long into the night. It took Marie nearly as long to finally empty her mug.

When Anya made them leave at last Marie was feeling drowsy and light-headed at the same time. Her steps were unsure and her body was swaying.

Anya snorted at the girl and guided her towards their tent with steadying hands on her shoulders to keep her from falling over.

When they had gotten ready to sleep Marie was starting to feel more awake again.

“Do you burn all your people after their death?” Marie asked into the silence of the tent.

Anya rolled her eyes, she had already started to fall asleep when the girl had spoken and alerted her again.

“Yes” Anya simply replied “Only those who committed a grave crime are denied. So their spirits cannot be set free.”

Marie looked over at the woman wonderingly “What do you mean with setting a spirit free?”

Anya huffed it was clear that the girl did not want to sleep right now. She had hoped the alcohol would make the girl sleepy and sleep through the rest of the night without the disturbance of nightmare. But it seemed it had the opposite effect.

“We believe that the spirit of the fallen have to be set free by burning their bodies. So that the spirits may be rebirthed in the future” Anya explained.

“But what…?” Marie started to ask with a frown on her face.

“Sleep, Marie” Anya growled at the girl. She knew it would not be long before the sun would rise again. The woman turned away from Marie without another word clearly unwilling to answer any more of her questions for the night. They both had not gotten much sleep the night prior and dearly needed rest.

Marie laid awake for some time more. The idea that the spirits of people were rebirthed was alien to her. She did not know what she really believed. Her parents had believed that after their death they would be in a sort of heaven.

But if Anya was correct in her assumption of reincarnation her parent’s spirits were trapped in their bodies. The dead on the Ark had been floated as well. So the bodies would float around space for eternity.

Marie bit her lips as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She mourned the death of her parents anew alone in the dark night. The alcohol had made Anya’s sleep deeper so the woman did not wake from the low sounds the girl made.

When the first rays of sunlight started to peek through the tent flap Marie had finally cried herself into an exhausted sleep.

Only a short time later Anya woke up. One look at her young charge was enough to revise her plan of waking the girl.

Marie looked completely exhausted and tear tracks were visible on her pale cheeks.

Anya took a deep breath and pulled the furs tighter around the small body.

She left the tent silently without waking the girl still sleeping and assigned a guard to the tent.

She would start training Tris and continue with Marie’s training later. And she still wanted to speak with Lexa.

Tomorrow they would march against the sky children and Anya wanted Marie to stay with Lexa in the meantime. She also wanted to ask her previous second to look after the girl should something happen to her. Death was a constant companion for warriors but she wanted to make sure the girl, she had grown fond of, was taken care of after her own death.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi together,  
> thanks for the comments and kudos =)  
> If someone would be interest to act as a beta, feel free to contact me.   
> I already have someone reading over my chapters, but the person is away most of the times.  
> So this chapter is unbetaed as well.  
> I hope it is alright nonetheless.  
> I made some progress in writing this weekend so here is an additional chapter to my normal weekly updates. 
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 19  
> Marie has to repeat the lesson on how to light a fire and succeeds but fails at finding tracks of animals in the woods. The funeral pyres are lit in the night and Anya and Marie join the people of TonDC at the bonfire after the burning ceremony. Marie learns of the grounders belief in reincarnation.

Chapter 20

When Marie woke later in the day she did so with a heavy pounding in her head.

She had cried herself to sleep the previous night and the alcohol had not helped the matter at all.

The tent was empty when Marie sat up in her furs groggily rubbing at her eyes. She could see sunshine falling into the opened tent flap and she scrunched her eyes closed against the bright light.

Marie wondered where Anya might have gone and why the woman had not woken her.

She scrambled out of the furs and hurried to make herself presentable for the day trying to ignore her headache all together. She hoped that she would get used to the consumption of alcohol soon enough.

Exciting the tent Marie directly ran into the guard Anya had posted there. She did not know the man personally but he seemed to be relatively young so he was probably still a second as well.

He insisted to bring her to the training pit personally. In the early morning hours more warriors had arrived and TonDC was crowded with different people. It was easy for Marie to identify the ones that had just arrived as most of them stared at her as if she was an exhibition in a zoo. Marie was glad for the company of the guard as no one approached them on their way.

She waved goodbye at the man and saw Tris at the edge of the training pits. The commander and Anya were sparring against each other at the moment.

Marie went up to Tris and the other girl greeted her with a kind smile.

“Watch them” the girl commanded amazement evident in her brown eyes “I hope I’ll be as good someday.”

Marie tried to reassure the other young warrior that she was an amazing fighter already, but the girl waved her off and gave her a slight shove to watch the fight on the pit. Her headache was forgotten when she watched the fight as it was really astonishing to watch Anya and Lexa fight. Lexa was slightly shorter than her previous mentor but what she missed in size she clearly made up in speed. Their movements looked like a deadly dance. They moved with grace and purposefulness.

“Does the commander often spar?” Marie asked Tris lowly.

The older girl clearly only averted her attention to Marie reluctantly “No, almost never. Heda does not have to prove her strength on the training pit anymore. Anya told me she was already an excellent fighter when she was still her second.”

Marie wanted to ask more but refrained. She had not known that Lexa had been Anya’s second in the past. But it made sense, they did seem to have a certain familiarity with each other.

The fight seemed to continue forever. They were dancing around each other sometimes testing the other’s defences so that loud clanging sounds from the swords clashing against each other echoed through the training pits.

In the end the commander was able to disarm Anya when the older woman started to tire and let her guard down for just a slight moment. They clasped arms and the commander shooed the crowd away that had gathered around the pits.

Marie looked at the both of them with wide eyes. She could not see any bleeding wounds but Anya’s jaw was already starting to darken with a bruise.

“I hope you have learnt something from watching” Anya commented when she saw the stares from both of her seconds. Tris was looking at them with admiration shining in her eyes and Marie looked completely astonished.

Tris nodded vigorously but remained silent.

Marie’s eyes were still glued to the swords they had used in their fight when the girl answered in a horrified voice “Yeah, I’ll be dead in under ten seconds in a real fight.”

Lexa seemed to have to bite her lips as to not laugh out loud at the matter of fact tone the girl had used.

Whereas Anya’s lips thinned and she glared at the younger of her charges “That just shows you how much you still have to learn and how idiotic your question was if you are to join in the attack.”

Marie nodded solemnly and looked onto the ground glumly. Silently she doubted that she would ever be able to learn how to fight like that. Anya had made it sound in the woods as if she was even unable to walk properly so how was she supposed to master all of the skills she lacked?

Lexa saw the self-doubt in the girl’s grey eyes quite clearly and she wanted to show the girl that she might just have to focus on the skills she already possessed instead of focussing on what she could not do at the moment.

“Anya told me that you seem to possess a talent for throwing knifes, Marie” Lexa directed at the girl.

The girl whipped her head up again with a wide eyed stare alternating between Anya and Lexa every few seconds.

Anya snorted it was obvious the girl had no idea how to behave around the commander. She was glad the girl was being cautious and was obviously trying not to overstep the rules she was still unfamiliar with.

In the end the girl opened and closed her mouth several times without uttering a word and finally settled on just nodding mutely mixed with a shrug. The expressions would have been comical to watch if Anya and Lexa were not aware of all the others watching the exchange at the moment. One silent glance between former mentor and commander conveyed enough of a conversation to settle that they both agreed that the girl dearly needed more confidence to hold herself in their harsh world where strength mattered above everything.

To reassure the younger girl Lexa smiled at her softly and took a dagger from a holster at her hip and offered the handle to the girl.

Marie blinked at the offered dagger a few seconds before she cautiously took the weapon and she looked at the commander questioningly.

Lexa looked around and pointed to a pine tree at the edge of the village a good distance away. She wanted the girl to arm for some cones at the top of the tree.

Silently she hoped the girl really was as good as Anya had told her. She liked this dagger and did not want to lose it. If the girl did not hit her target it would take hours to find the dagger if they even could spot it altogether.

A few warriors from another small village were laughing at the girl. While Marie gulped silently and straightened her shoulders. One threating glance from Anya was enough for the girl to accept the challenge.

Tris was watching the proceedings quietly. She had never seen the commander up close until she arrived at TonDC and was intrigued with the woman she turned out to be.

Anya observed that even Indra had stopped in her tracks and was watching the girl. She hoped her charged would succeed if only to see Indra’s shocked face. She knew it was not impossible to hit the cones but it was pretty far and only someone with great skill would hit them on just one try.

Marie was carefully taking aim while her thoughts raced through her head. She knew that she would embarrass herself and probably Anya too if she failed.

She closed her eyes for a second to focus. Something her mother had told her flashing up in a memory. When Marie had had difficulties to read out loud because she stuttered the words out her mother had told her to focus only on herself and completely forget the kids at the class around her who were laughing at her for stuttering.

So that was what she did right now as well. After a few deep even breaths she opened her eyes again and threw the dagger towards the cones.  She waited with a halted breath and when the dagger did hit the cones she nearly jumped up in joy only refraining herself in the last moment.

She could not stop the huge grin on her face when she looked to the others around her. Lexa looked mildly impressed and nodded at her. Anya was more occupied with eying Indra’s shocked face at the moment. Tris smiled at the younger girl. She knew that she would not have been able to hit the cones, throwing knifes had never been one of her strong suits.

Lexa looked smugly at the other warriors how had doubted the girl’s ability and was satisfied to see a look of clear disbelief on their faces.

“You did well, Marie” the commander praised with a slight smile. Even Gustus who had hovered behind them silently looked mildly impressed of the throw.

“If you can find the dagger, you are allowed to keep it” Lexa offered the girl with a kind smile. Anya subtly rolled her eyes at the commander and it was evident Gustus wanted to say something but refrained in front of all the other warriors still gathered around the pits.

Marie’s grey eyes had gone wide again and she was still smiling a blinding smile.

“Tris can assist you in the search for the dagger” Anya told Marie and the glance she threw Tris’ way was order enough to be dismissed.

Tris took the younger girl by her sleeve when she was still thanking the commander.

As soon as the girls were out of hearing range Anya rolled her eyes at the commander critically “Really, gifting a new second with one of your own daggers, commander?”

Lexa just huffed in response and jutted her chin out defiantly. Anya and Gustus both would not dare to question her in front of the other warrior’s and one glare was enough to shut both of them up.

Tris pulled Marie through the village in fast strides. The dagger had hit the cones and had fallen down together with them. She knew that did not mean the dagger would just lay on the ground, it could have become entangled with smaller branches or leaves and was stuck somewhere on the tree. Tris knew that Marie’s previous experiences with climbing were not excellent but hiding in a tree was essential for some scout work.

“Come, I hope we are lucky and the dagger fell from the tree with the cones” Tris told Marie and let go of her sleeve.

“Where else would it be?” Marie asked confusion on her face.

Tris snorted in silent laughter, the girl really knew nothing about trees. She pointed up to the branches silently with a meaningful glance.

“Oh” came the sorrowful reply as the meaning of the other girl’s words sank into Marie.

Now Tris could not contain her laughter anymore and laughed out loud at the downtrodden expression on Marie’s face.

Marie pouted at Tris silently.

“Don’t fret, I do not mean harm” Tris still laughed slightly.

Marie glared at her lightly but nodded.

They reached the tree only a few moments later and as it seemed they were not lucky. They could not spot the dagger anywhere on the ground so it probably really got entangled on the way down.

Marie glared at the tree as if it had personally offended her somehow so that Tris had to laugh again.

“Then we will have to climb” Tris told the other girl what was obvious to both of them.

Marie reluctantly nodded and exhaled loudly “I can’t climb.”

Tris bit her lips to stop laughing “I know, but you have to learn it. Trikru warriors often use the trees as cover.”

Marie huffed again but nodded at the logic. Tris was much more patient with her now then Anya had been. To be fair they now had the time for Marie to really just get a feeling on how to climb and where to place her feet and how to hold her balance.

In the end Tris and Anya had both been right getting into the tree was not that hard when she had the time. Fortunately they did find the dagger in the tree. It was still stuck in the cones it had hit.

Marie triumphantly took the dagger together with the cones and slowly climbed back down which she fortunately managed this time without falling down.

“See, it isn’t that hard” Tris commented when Marie smiled at her when her feet again touched solid ground.

Marie nodded pleased with herself to have managed to climb up and down without another accident.

“We should heed back, there will be a meeting for the attack tomorrow soon” Tris told the other girl.

Marie nodded the smile leaving her features altogether. She had completely forgotten about that.

Tris tried to lift Marie’s mood on the way back but was completely unsuccessful and admitted defeat. She was excited about the attack on the sky children. It would be her first bigger fight and it was an honour to her skills that Anya allowed her to accompany the army.

Anya was already waiting for Tris at the outskirt of the village and sent Marie to Lexa. The commander would not get herself involved into the fight for now. A village had been burnet so it was a Trikru matter right now.

The woman watched Marie walk through the village obediently with hunched shoulders her good mood had vanished completely.

“What happened?” Anya asked Tris lowly.

“I told her about the meeting for the attack” Tris admitted softly feeling slightly guilty.

Anya nodded silently and watched the girl disappear into the commander’s tent with a frown on her face.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 20  
> Marie and Tris watch Lexa and Anya fight against each other on the training pits. Lexa wins against Anya in the end and Marie has to admit that she would die in a real battle quickly. Lexa wants to boost the girl’s confidence and dares her to throw one of her daggers at the cones of a tree on the edge of the village. Many warriors watch closely as the girl succeeds. Lexa gifts her the dagger if she can find it. Tris helps Marie locating the dagger in the tree and tells her about the upcoming war meeting to plan the attack on Skykru.

Chapter 21

The guards outside of the commander’s tent let Marie enter without any objection as they had been informed the girl would be sent there.

Some already thought it strange that their Heda would spare any time for the sky girl at all.

Marie nodded politely at the guards.

Lexa was sitting on her wooden throne and Gustus stood beside the woman stoically whereas Indra stood opposite of them and broke off the conversation as the girl entered.

Lexa immediately spotted Marie’s mood and furrowed her brow. Maybe the girl’s had been unable to find the dagger?

Indra’s warriors would not join in the fight tomorrow so that TonDC would remain protected and they would be able to monitor any movements from the mountain that way, so the woman was not required to attend the meeting for tomorrows attack. 

“Weren’t you able to find the dagger?” Lexa asked the girl when she stopped in front of the throne looking insecure and small.

Marie shook her head and held up the dagger with a slight smile that dimmed after only a second again.

Indra muttered something that sounded suspiciously as “ungrateful brat” under her breath too low for Marie to hear clearly. Even Gustus was slightly glaring at the girl. Being gifted with one of the commander’s personal weapons was an honour the girl obviously did not understand.

“What is it then?” Lexa asked. She had planned to give the girl a lesson in written Trigedasleng. Not all of her generals were able to read but she thought it to be an important skill. Anya had told her that the girl was able to read and write English so it should not be a very hard lesson for her.

Marie bit her lips a few moment and let her shoulders drop even more “The attack is tomorrow.”

That was everything the girl offered as an explanation but Lexa pursued her lips. Anya and she had talked about the attack fearing the girl’s ties to Skykru would be too deep for a smooth transition to Trikru.

Indra and Gustus shared a knowing look and Indra resumed her silent glare. Lexa had forbidden her to speak up against the girl again openly so the general kept silent.

“I understand that it is hard for you to accept that the other sky children will be killed” Lexa started to tell Marie.

But the girl interrupted her with a huff “It isn’t that. Not completely at least.”

Gustus also glared at the girl now for having interrupted Lexa so rudely but Lexa could see the same confusion in his eyes she was feeling.

She looked at the girl questioningly to explain herself further.

After a moment the girl did continue in a slightly strained voice “I should feel more empathic that they are going to die, I know that.”

Now Lexa really looked at the girl confused. What was her problem then? Sending her to participate in the fight would be a suicide mission and the girl was aware that she could not fight well enough to help in a real fight.

“The others have guns” Marie explained with fear clear in her big grey eyes “What if Anya and Tris won’t even reach them? Or your other warriors? A gun against a sword does not seem like a fair fight.”

Indra and Gustus both were blinking their eyes in silent astonishment. The girl was obviously worried more for their warriors then she was for her own people.

Lexa was lost for words for a moment. She had not expected this answer at all.

“My warriors are way more trained in the art of battle, Marie” Lexa reassured the girl. But all of them knew that guns were weapons they could not fight well against. They had a strategy and if all worked to plan the losses would be minimal, but there would be losses. But losses were a part of every battle anyway.

“Falling in battle is an honourable death and death is a constant companion to warriors, Marie” Lexa continued in an even voice “I will not lie to you. There will be losses, but we will be victorious.”

Marie nodded with a solemn expression but it was evident that the girl did not feel reassured in the slightest bit.

Indra eyed the girl with a contemplating expression and it was clear to Lexa that the woman was already starting to adjust her previous conception of the young girl. She might not have the physical strength the other seconds all had but there was another strength in this girl.

“Indra, Gustus, leave us” Lexa commanded authoritatively. Indra nodded at once and left without another word, whereas Gustus lingered behind for a moment clearly reluctant to leave her side. One silent warning glare was enough to convince him otherwise.

Marie watched them leave silently and her grey eyes returned to Lexa’s face expectantly.

Lexa saw that the girl was still holding the dagger in her fingers and offered one of her sheaths to the girl that could be strapped to her thigh.

The girl accepted it gratefully and Lexa showed her how to fasten it and what position would not hinder her movements.

The lesson itself worked rather well. The girl’s ability to read and write English helping her greatly. Trying to read Trigedasleng would improve her skill of the new language even faster than just speaking it any way.

Anya came into the tent after the meeting to collect her younger second and nodded thankfully to Lexa for having kept the girl close to her.

Marie softly bid goodnight to Lexa and followed Anya through the village. The atmosphere in the village seemed excited as well. Preparations for the attack were ongoing everywhere.

Anya guided them back to their shared tent and they ate some dinner there in a heavy silence. Marie could not help herself and she was looking up to Anya every few seconds.

Anya had picked up on the girl’s strange behaviour almost immediately but she was also relatively sure of the origin. The girl was making sure she was still there.

She feared that the girl would not be able to sleep this night as well. So after dinner she opted to do something that she had never done with Lexa or Tris.

Anya directly made Marie lie down with her in her bedroll and let the girl snuggled up to her.

“Please promise to come back tomorrow” the girl whispered in a pleading voice moments later into the darkness in the tent.

Anya stiffened a bit and had to forcefully exhale. She had no idea why the girl felt this connected to her already after only a few short days and she knew she could not make this promise without lying. A warrior would never be able to promise to return safe from battle.

“I will give my best” she offered sincerely instead.

The girl seemed to understand and nodded against her chest tightening the grip she had on Anya.

Her closeness had helped greatly and the girl had thankfully not woken up from any nightmares. So Anya was glad to wake up reasonably rested.

One glance into Marie’s face was enough to know that the girl was totally frightened.

Anya tried to be as gentle and reassuring with her charge as possible without eluding the truth.

When they met Tris for a breakfast at the bonfire her charges could not have been more different. Where Marie was biting her lips and looking small and frightened, Tris was buzzing with excited energy.

They would not be doing any physical training this morning as they would start their march in a few hours. Lexa had agreed to look after Marie again in the meantime.

For Anya’s taste Tris was overly excited and she changed her decision against the physical training immediately after breakfast.

Marie was allowed to only watch them spar. It took Anya only a few moments to correct Tris’ cockiness and the girl looked abashed.  

“You are a good fighter, Tris” Anya reassured the girl “But overconfidence will get you killed faster than you think in battle. It makes you reckless, remember that later.”

Tris nodded with a slight smile and rubbed at her knees. Anya had been careful not to inflict any injuries before the fight nevertheless. She just wanted the girl to be more cautious.

Marie had watched them silently. But she would take this lessons seriously as well.

The rest of the time before the attack Anya made Marie try to shoot a bow.

The girl was not completely skill-less but it was clear that her attention was lacking. Anya wondered whether she would show the same talent with a bow as she had with the throwing knifes if she focused.

Marie had great difficulties to focus her attention at all on what she was doing. If possible she would have liked to turn the time faster. So that Anya and Tris would have returned already. On the other side she felt awful that she barely spared the other delinquents any thoughts at all. But she guesses that she had already accepted their deaths as a given.

When it was time to change into the armour Marie trudged behind them silently looking on the verge of tears.

She watched Tris and Anya change and apply war paint. Both looked more ruthless now but for Marie they still felt like her new family and she prayed she would not lose them already.

Marie was standing next to the commander who oversaw the leaving warriors. The girl was constantly biting her lips now and Lexa already could see a red shimmer of blood on them. The girl seemed oblivious to the nervous gesture altogether.

When the war drums started Marie took a step closer to Lexa seeking any comfort she could get in the moment. Gustus glared a bit at her but did not make amends to remove the girl. Lexa also allowed it for now, she could see that this was taking a great toll on the young girl.

They all had to remember that Marie was completely unfamiliar with the concept of war. On the ground war had been a constant after the end of the old world. But the girl still had to get familiar with their ways, so Lexa opted to be lenient with her as well.

Only when the last warrior had disappeared in the woods and the sounds of the drums started to fade did Lexa direct Marie to her tent.

Gustus stayed back at the entrance of the tent leaving them in private for now.

Lexa looked at the girl and she had to admit she looked awfully small at the moment. With an almost pitying look Lexa silently thought that the girl would have to harden fast to survive in their world. Where the sky had left the child soft, she would need to be hard on the ground.

As best as she could she diverted the girl’s attention back to the lessons they had started the previous evening. Marie’s progress was slow today as the girl was unable to concentrate properly. Lexa had to take some calming breath sometimes as to not lose her patience with the girl.

“Marie, I know it is hard right now, but you need to concentrate” Lexa rebuked the girl in an even tone, while she kept her eyes gentle.

But all the lessons were forgotten when a loud explosion resonated outside.

Lexa whipped around and strode out of the tent in big strides while Marie followed the commander quickly.

There was smoke emitting in a big cloud in the distance. The smoke came from the direction where the sky children had crashed with their ship.

Marie was looking at the cloud of smoke with horrified eyes and Lexa was already shouting orders for scouts to be sent to the explosion.

Gustus and Indra had looked in another direction and were now casting worried glances in the direction of Mount Weather. An explosion this size would not have gone by the mountain men’s attention. Even if the mountain men may have been oblivious to the sky children’s presence until now it was sure they were aware of them now as grounders did not use explosives.

“What happened?” Marie asked in a low quivering voice when Lexa returned to the girl a few moments later.

The commander could only share a few worried glances with her general and her guard. There were only two big questions for them.

Had they underestimated the sky children this gravely? And what about the mountain men?


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 21  
> Marie explains to Lexa in front of Indra and Gustus that she is more afraid to see the army slain by the other delinquents than what she feels about the other delinquents dying. Lexa gives her a lesson in written Trigedasleng. After the meeting Anya collects Marie again and tries to sooth the girl’s fears about losing Tris and Anya. Anya trains Tris one last time before the battle to quench the girl’s over-confidence. Marie sadly watched the army leave TonDC with Lexa from whom she seeks comfort. Another lesson with Lexa is interrupted by an enormous explosion.

Chapter 22

The scouts departed immediately after they received the commander’s orders.

Marie was ushered back into the commander’s tent by Lexa herself. There was nothing they could now besides wait for news.

Lexa, Indra and Gustus seemed worried whereas Marie looked to be almost apathetic with worry. The girl could not halt her racing thoughts and her heart was drumming loudly in her own ears.

From what she had seen from the inhabitants of TonDC she knew that the explosion could not have been caused by them. So that only left the other delinquents as the creators of the explosives. Marie had not been aware that they had anything to build explosives.

What if Anya and Tris had been in the middle of the explosion? No one would survive that.

Lexa was speaking rapidly in Trigedasleng with Indra, while Gustus had returned to the spot beside the throne to guard his commander.

Both Lexa and Gustus kept an eye on Marie the whole time. It was clear the girl had fallen into a shocked trance like state. She was standing in the middle of the tent staring into nothing in particular and was breathing shallowly.

Marie did hear the ongoing conversation as if her head was stuck under water.

She was jostled out of her trance when shouts resonated outside of the tent. Her head whipped around to the shouts as Lexa already glided out of the tent followed by Gustus on her heels.

Marie hurried behind them to see what the scouts that had returned had found. But they had not returned alone. Many warriors who had left to fight the 100 had returned.

Frantically Marie scanned the crowd for Anya and Tris but she could not spot them among the warriors.

She tried to listen to the report the head of the scouts was giving to the commander at the moment. She was not able to understand everything but it was enough to gather that the other delinquents had blown up a bridge when a part of the army had already been on said bridge.

Marie’s blood ran could upon hearing the report as she knew that Anya as a high ranking general and Tris as her second were supposed to be at the front of the army, so they must have been caught directly in the explosion.

It took some time but in the end the commander together with Indra organised a group to return to the site of the explosion to look for the wounded and to gather the dead to give them a proper burial ceremony.

No one was paying her any real attention and the commander had technically not forbidden her to leave TonDC, but she knew that Anya had told her to stay here until she returned.

So with drooping shoulders Marie trudged through the camp. Around her warriors were running around the camp gathering everything that could be used to carry bodies.

Seeing that still no one was paying her any attention a defiant glint appeared in Marie’s grey eyes. She quickly gathered a piece of cloth and wrapped it around her hair as a shawl.

As silently and unobtrusively as possible Marie followed the departing group of warriors through the wood. Fortunately for her the warriors’ attention was focused on the area before them so that they did not pay close attention to the movements behind them.

Marie followed the group of warriors lead by the commander undetected to the blown up bridge.

The bridge had been completely destroyed. But the bridge had been relatively narrow so that not many warrior had been on it when the explosion happened.

Nevertheless bodies lay scattered around the bridge. Marie was able to spot Anya immediately the woman was checking for survivors.

Marie ran from the bushes she had been hiding in directly to Anya. What the girl had not anticipated when she followed the group without permission was what would be the retribution she might face for disobedience.

The commander had already stepped up to Anya and they were speaking repeatedly in Trigedasleng about what had happened here.

Lexa’s eyes immediately spotted the girl approaching them and she narrowed her eyes dangerously. No one had given the girl permission to join the group of warriors or even leave TonDC on her own.

Marie faltered in her steps when suddenly both women were glaring daggers at her. Anya harshly grabbed her by the arm in a bruising grip “What are you doing here? You were told to stay in TonDC!”

Marie stuttered a bit and winced at the pain in her arm “Well, technically ….”

Lexa interrupted them, she knew how worried the girl was about Anya, but disobedience could not be tolerated either “I am sure you will quickly rid your second of her rebellious tendencies quickly enough.”

Marie gulped and nodded with down cast eyes.

Before Anya could say anything more on the subject Tris interrupted them.

The girl looked unharmed on the first glance but as the girl opened her mouth to speak she started to cough and blood glistened on her lips. She seemed to have trouble breathing and Anya caught her when she abruptly lost consciousness.

Anya and three warriors hurried away from the bridge and Lexa nudged Marie to follow them. The girl would not be able to help much at the bridge and Anya was already worrying enough about Tris’ health. So Lexa thought it best that Marie accompanies her mentor. Fortunately the explosion had caused enough chaos that the other warriors did not think too much of Marie’s presence. So Lexa as the commander would not be forced to punish the girl publicly. Anya could afford to be much more lenient with Marie. Even Lexa had had bouts of rebellions in her youth and she remembered her old mentor’s way to eradicate them well.

Marie hurried to follow them. They were travelling fast through the woods but Marie wondered why they did not travel towards TonDC.

It did not take them long to reach their destination. There were some ruins or tunnels of sorts where they carried Tris into. The whole way no one had talked a word to her.

Marie watched as Anya laid Tris on a table and she could hear the other girl struggling for breath.

Anya whirled around and commanded the two warriors to wait outside.

“You are going to stay here with Tris” Anya commanded in a clipped tone with angrily glittering eyes.

Marie opened her mouth to object but closed it as quickly again when Anya let out a warning growl.

“You will guard Tris until we return. If you even take one step outside and I hear of it, you will regret it” Anya threatened “Am I clear?!”

Marie nodded and with apologetic eyes returned to Tris’ side.

Anya left without another word and Marie was left alone with the unconscious other girl.

Cautiously Marie took one of Tris’ hands in her own. She thought it a good sign that Tris was still breathing but her breaths sounded laboured and pained. There was no blood visible on the girl’s armour so there seemed to be no superficial wounds.

Marie had no idea how long she waited there with Tris. When it started to darken outside Marie went around the room and lit a few candles.

At one point Tris briefly woke up. Her brown eyes were panicked and she definitely had trouble breathing. Marie tried to calm her down as best as possible and hoped that Anya would return fast with help. Only a few moments later Tris lost consciousness again and Marie was glad she could still hear her breathing as a sign that the other girl was still alive.

When there was the sound of movements from outside Marie grabbed the dagger she still had strapped to her tight.

But Anya entered the structured followed on her heels by the two warriors who each dragged Clarke and Finn behind them.

Marie looked behind them confused and lowered her dagger again. She did not need to defend herself from Anya.

Clarke and Finn were both staring at her with wide eyes. Marie realised that either John had not arrived back at the camp or he had not told the others that she now lived with the Trikru.

“You are going to heal her” Anya commanded Clarke and pointed to Tris. The girl’s laboured breathing sounded even more strained now “If she dies, so does the boy.”

Marie could see Clarke gaping at Anya and the blonde argued that she lacked the equipment.

Anya commanded one of the warriors to gather what Clarke needed. “You will stay with them” Anya ordered Marie and the girl nodded.

The others left the building again.

“What are you doing here, Marie? We thought you might have been caught in the acid fog, when we did not find you” Finn directly addresses her when the grounders were out of earshot “We will get you out of here.”

Marie looked at them confused, she was not here against her will after all.

Tris started to gasp loudly and Marie turned to the girl again.

“Help her” Marie pleaded Clarke, she could see that Tris’ condition was getting worse. The blonde nodded silently and turned to Tris.

“What happened to her?” Clarke asked Marie. Marie looked at both of them with an accusing stare “She was on the bridge when you made it explode.”

Finn was helping her to get Tris in a sitting position when Anya and the other two warriors returned. One of them was carrying a bag of sorts and laid it out on the floor. It seemed to contain medical equipment.

“Why do you think I could help her?” Clarke asked Anya.

“Lincoln told her” Finn concluded from his place at the side line before Anya answered.

“As I did” Marie added and watched as Clarke put her ear to Tris’ back.

“Her left lung seems to have collapsed” Clarke observed with a worried frown. Marie drew in a harsh breath, she doubted Clarke’s abilities would be enough to save Tris’ life from that kind of injury.

Clarke looked through the bag the others had brought and made a cut in Tris’ side from which blood ran fast.

Marie looked on concerned as Anya came closer to investigate and snarled at Clarke “What have you done?!”

Clarke tried to explain to the woman that Tris could not breath because of the blood in her lung but when Anya shoved Clarke away from Tris, Finn tried to intervene and a few seconds later both lay on their backs with swords drawn to their throats.

Marie tried to calm the situation down, because she remembered Clarke’s mother doing something similar to her own mom, when her lungs were full of blood.

Anya and the warriors looked doubtful but they waited to judge Tris’ condition. The girl’s breathing did not sound as laboured any more but she was still unconscious. Marie had started to worry for all the blood the girl had already lost.  The waiting with nothing to do was proving to be the worst thing ever to Marie. She would have liked to step closer to Anya to draw comfort from her presence but the woman seemed unapproachable at the moment and Marie did not want to strain the atmosphere even more.

When Anya felt Tris forehead sometime later she observed that the girl was running a fever.

Marie could see Clarke losing her nerves and the other girl was blaming Anya now for even sending a girl into battle. To Marie Clarke’s lashing out now only proved that the girl herself had given up hope to safe Tris’ life.

“That is the way we train them to become warriors” Anya answered seriously.

“So that the killing can continue easily forever” Clarke shouted hotly and Anya took a threating step closer to the insolent girl.

“You blew up the bridge, you did this” Anya hissed in her face with angry eyes and barely refrained herself from just killing her on the spot.

Clarke told Anya that the only option to save Tris was to give her clean blood. When Clarke asked Anya for her blood, a warrior stepped in and declined immediately. Marie knew from Nyko that the survivors on the ground did not use any blood transfusions anymore and the concept was alien to them.

“Take mine” Marie offered from the side. She would do what she could to safe the other girl and standing beside the proceedings without anything to do was making her antsier by the minute.

When Clarke finally had a syringe and a needle that would do, she took some blood from Marie. Marie pressed her lips together and shared a worried glance with Anya. She could see through the angry façade how worried the woman was for Tris.

Marie had listened to Tris laboured breaths the whole time as a sign for her continued survival and suddenly they stopped. She turned her eyes to Tris and Finn had also observed the missing breath.

“She stopped breathing Clarke” the boy softly said with remorseful eyes.

The warriors shared a heavy look and Marie could see Anya’s eyes glistening with unshed tears as she bent down with a dagger and cut a braid from Tris’ hair.

One of the warrior’s took Tris’ body and left the building. Marie was still standing in the middle of the room speechless, with silent tears running down her checks. Tris had died, Clarke had been unable to safe the other girl.

“Take the boy away and kill him” Anya ordered one of the other warriors in a deadly tone.

Another warrior stepped up to Clarke and held her in place while Finn was guided away with no resistance at all by a masked warrior. He just told Clarke to cease the fighting to safe herself instead.

“No!” Clarke screamed and tried to get away from the warrior holding her in place “I tried everything, please”

But her pleas went unanswered and Marie followed Anya and the warrior carrying Tris’ body outside.

Marie was feeling numb and blood was loudly rushing in her ears, her nightmare had become partially true after all.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As today is my birthday I am going to gift you with a double update =) 
> 
> Previously in chapter 22  
> Marie follows Lexa and a group of warriors without permission to the blown up bridge. Before she can be punished by Anya Tris collapses and Marie accompanies them to some old ruins in the woods. Marie waits with Tris until Anya returns with Clarke and Finn. Clarke is tasked to save Tris but fails and the girl dies. Anya commands Finn to be killed and Tris’ body is carried away.

Chapter 23

Horses had been tied to the outside of the structure and the grounder carrying Tris’ body was already mounting his own carefully holding the girl’s body to his chest.

Tris had had the respect of the warriors of TonDC. She had been exceptionally brave and experienced for someone so young in years.

“What happens now?” Marie asked Anya almost in a pained whisper when the woman just stood routed next to her horse with a stony expression contorting her features.

Anya looked at the girl and drew one harsh breath, pushing the loss of her older second from her mind for now.

“The boy will be executed” the woman told Marie and nodded towards Finn how just stood next to the grounder holding him with an empty expression on his face “Tris’ body needs to be returned  to TonDC to be put on the pyres with the other warriors that fell on the bridge. After that we will march on their camp again, razing it to the ground.”

The masked warrior holding Finn just nodded to Anya without a verbal answer and mounted his own horse with Finn as if the boy did not weigh anything at all.

After a moment of consideration Anya added “You will accompany Caliban and the girl to TonDC.”

Marie nodded and watched Anya mount her horse and follow the one with Tris’ body.

She would have preferred to accompany Anya but she would not question the woman. It was neither her place nor the right time to do so.

So Marie wiped the tears from her wet checks and took a few steadying breath to calm herself. Just like the death of the warrior in the healer’s hut Tris’ death had happened so silently.

When Marie entered the structure again she had to blink for a second at what she saw.

Clarke was kneeling in front of Caliban and was pressing his mouth closed. Marie could distinctly see blood running from a deep cut on the man’s throat.

“What have you done?” Marie asked in a screeching cry. Clarke had just signed her death warrant. Even if Anya had seemed intent to let the girl live, now she would surely be executed alongside of Finn.

Clarke whirled around at the sudden shout and held the bloody scalpel up in a threating gesture.

“I am not going to stay here, Marie, neither will you” Clarke said and lowered the scalpel when she recognized Marie.

“You … you killed him” Marie accusingly stated with a pointed look at the body at Clarke’s feet.

Clarke nodded and gave a watery smile to Marie “We can go home now, we just have to hurry before they return.”

Marie had opened her mouth to tell the girl that no one was returning when she thought better of it and closed it with a loud click. She had no intention of returning to the other delinquents. She wanted to be there when Tris’ body was burned.

“I am not held captive, Clarke” Marie tried to explain to the blonde girl.

“You are not?” Clarke asked an octave higher “Why are you still there then?”

“Anya took me as her second. I can live with them now, Clarke. So can you..” Marie said lowly “Or rather could before you killed him.”

Clarke just shook her head and rushed out of the structures having a firm grip on the startled Marie.

“We don’t have the time to discuss this now. We need to get moving” Clarke told the girl while dragging her away.

Marie tried to shrug Clarke’s grip off but was more occupied with following her quickly without stumbling over logs or holes in the ground.

It was dark outside and she still had not gotten the hang of moving around the forest in darkness. They were way too loudly if Clarke wanted to move undetected, but Marie was not going to point that out to the other girl. She hoped they would run into some scouts soon.

They did not run into scouts but Clarke triggered a booby trap a few moments later and both of them were dangling upside down from ropes from trees.

Marie did not say anything when Clarke desperately tried to get loose from the trap. They were hanging pretty high up and she knew from experience that a fall from that height would definitely hurt.

“Stop struggling” Marie finally snapped at the other girl after an undefined time. She was getting a headache from all the blood in her head and Clarke was getting on her nerves.

“They will find us” Clarke shouted back with unmasked fear in her voice.

“I know” Marie calmly answered, she was counting on that fact otherwise they really would need to get down soon as the position was not comfortable at all.

That was the position Anya later found them in. The woman had started to worry when Caliban and Marie had not arrived at the estimated time. She had just lost one of her seconds and she already had a strange feeling leaving Marie alone to begin with.

Marie was internally grateful when Anya finally let her down again. She stumbled feeling dizzy when her feet touched the ground again and Anya caught her to prevent the girl from falling over. No one went to help Clarke get up from the ground after they had let her fall from some distance.

“Where is Caliban?” Anya demanded to know when Marie stopped blinking to clear her head.

Marie looked at Clarke accusingly “She killed him”

Anya snarled “Another warrior lost to the sky children. You will be put on the tree for your sins”

Clarke had no idea what that meant in particular but she gathered that it would be a form of execution. Marie swallowed loudly, she had only heard from Tris what this punishment meant. People who got convicted for murder or treason were bound to a pole and killed by numerous cuts from the inhabitants of the village.

“We head back to TonDC now” Anya declared to the others who had accompanied her. Marie noticed the masked warrior from before again in the group, most of them had shed their masks, but he still wore his.

Anya kept a hand on Marie’s back and guided the girl a few meters away from the others.

“What happened Marie?” Anya asked her young charge. The girl had seemed too relived to see her again.

“Clarke had already killed him when I got back. She still had the scalpel in hand. And she wanted me to return back to the delinquents with her. I didn’t want to go with her…” Marie told the woman “I want to be at Tris’ pyre. I belong to you now…”

Anya did not know if the girl meant to belong to her in person or to Trikru now, but she was touched nevertheless.

“I know” Anya easily reassured the girl and squeezed her shoulder “You will return to TonDC and stay there when the actual battle happens.”

Marie nodded and gave the woman a watery smile. She did not know why she felt so strongly about never wanting to return to the delinquents, but she just did.

The way towards TonDC had been uneventful so far. Clarke had ceased her struggling against the grounder who dragged her along against her will and Marie walked directly next to Anya.

Suddenly Anya halted Marie and protectively stood in front of the girl with her sword raised, while the other warriors had also drawn their weapons.

A male warrior together with others appeared from the trees in front of them.

“I am to lead your warriors into battle” he told Anya with an arrogant sneer.

Anya clenched her teeth “The commander ordered this, Tristan?”

The man nodded looking down on Anya. Marie could see the anger radiating from her mentor but the woman kept silent. Marie wondered why Anya lost the command over her warriors but she recognized that Anya would not question the commander’s orders at all. The woman had told her in one of her lessons that questioning Heda might be seen as treason, so she was cautioned against ever doing so.

“We march right now” Tristan announced to the warriors. Marie looked at Anya unsurely, the woman had only wanted to attack the next day.

“Take Marie back to TonDC and kill the prisoner” Anya ordered the masked warrior to do.

The man just nodded and took Clarke on his horse in front of him and lent a hand to hoist Marie behind him.

Marie kept her eyes firmly on Anya when they rode away from the other warriors.

She cautiously put her hands on the warrior’s hip to stay in the saddle.

They stopped shortly after and the warrior gently let her glide down from the horse and helped Clarke down as well.

The girl directly pleaded the warrior to spare her life and let her go, when the man finally lifted his mask.

“Lincoln” Marie gasped shocked and blinked at the man confused as he sent his horse away with a clap to the horse’s rear.

She gaped even more when Finn appeared behind a tree trunk obviously alive and unharmed.

The wheels were turning fast in her brain and she glared at Lincoln. The only logical reason for Finn’s appearance was that Lincoln had disregarded Anya’s commands.

Clarke had thrown her arms around Finn and they were hugging each other.

“Quick. It won’t be long until the others figure out that I helped you escape” Lincoln told the two hugging teenagers.

Marie shook her head not liking where this was obviously going. Why was everyone set on her returning to the delinquents?

“I don’t want to come with you” Marie declared stubbornly and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

“You can come with us and be safe at the camp. We will move to another clan, you do not need to stay with them” Finn tried to persuade the younger girl in a soothing voice.

Marie just huffed at him “You don’t get it. I want to return to Anya!”

Lincoln looked unsure “I can’t guarantee for your safety if you stay here on your own.”

“I don’t care” Marie declared loudly. She just did not want to return with them. If the army had already moved to their camp they would surely not care why she was there, they would just kill her with the other 100.

“You can’t seriously want to leave her here alone. She is just a child” Clarke interjected and tried to put a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder which Marie promptly shook off.

“We will need to move through the reaper tunnels. If she does not come willingly and struggles we won’t pass them undetected” Lincoln told Clarke.

“Do you know the way back to TonDC?” Lincoln asked Marie his voice laded with doubt.

Marie nodded as convincingly as possible. Lincoln nodded in return and told the others to follow him.

Of course Marie had absolutely no idea how to get to TonDC, she was not even sure about the general direction the village lay in.

She went through the woods a lot more silently then Clarke had. So she truly now did understand why Anya told her that they were even unable to walk.

As Anya had taught her she tried to keep watch of the stars to get an indication of the directions. She had no idea if she moved in the right direction and she lost any feeling for the time as well.

Marie had kept a firm hold on her dagger the whole way. She knew she would not be able to defend herself with the blade but it gave her a sense of protection nevertheless.

She was startled when a warrior dropped from a tree directly in front of her.

Marie was lucky that it was a warrior who recognized the frightened girl immediately.

He looked the girl over but did not ask her what happened. The young man just guided her back to TonDC and delivered her to the commander’s tent directly.

Lexa looked up from a map with a frown on her face when she saw the girl being escorted into her tent in the middle of the night.

“What happened?” Lexa asked Marie still frowning and sent the warrior away with a simple wordless wave of her hand.

So Marie repeated what had transpired after they left the bridge to the commander.

At the mention of Lincoln the woman’s green eyes narrowed angrily but she let the girl finish without any interruption.

“The pyres are still being built, I will wake you when they are going to be lit” Lexa told the girl. Marie looked ready to be asleep on her feet and not wanting to send the girl alone into the empty tent, she just silently guided the girl to her own furs and ordered her to lay down. She was not going to sleep in the next hours anyway.

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> so I have not heard from my beta in the last month, so I guess it will have to do without proof reading.  
> If anyone is interested to help me, feel free to contact me.
> 
> Sorry, I had to let Tris die. But I can promise that not all characters that died in the show will die in my story.
> 
> Thanks =)  
> Cairlinn
> 
> Previously in chapter 23  
> Anya leaves to bring Tris’ body to TonDC and Marie joins Clarke who had killed Caliban. Clarke drags Marie along to flee and they get trapped in a booby trap. Anya finds them later and on their way to TonDC Tristan meets up with them taking over command. Anya commands a warrior to kill Clarke and escort Marie to TonDC. The warrior is Lincoln who had saved Finn before. He wants to help Clarke and Finn get back to the others. Marie leaves them in search of TonDC on her own. Marie runs into a patrol that brings her to Lexa. In the commander’s tent the girl can rest until the pyres are lit to burn the fallen warriors including Tris on the bridge.

Chapter 24

Lexa kept watch over the sleeping girl. Marie’s sleep was disturbed with many nightmares and the commander reassured the girl that she was safe back in TonDC.

Later when the pyres had been built, she gently shook the girl’s shoulder to rouse her.

Marie blinked her eyes a few times at the commander.

“The pyres will be lit soon” Lexa told her in an even tone.

Marie nodded her expression turning sad with the knowledge that Tris would be among those to be burnt.

Lexa saw the girl’s downcast expression and addressed her in a serious tone “Tris died well. She fell in battle, Marie. Death is a constant shadow of all warriors, but death is not the end.”

Marie nodded silently not knowing how to voice her feelings.

“It is alright to mourn someone. But the dead are gone.” Lexa lectured in a gentle tone. She knew that accepting a loved one’s death was not easy for a young warrior, but the girl would either harden against the pain or break.

Lexa squeezed the girl’s shoulder reassuringly and waited for her in the larger part of the tent. Marie had to gather herself a few moments before she joined the commander. Tears were already gathering in her eyes and she had to take some deep breath to swallow them down.

The commander was listening to a report from a scout that had shadowed the army marching on the crash site. The army had arrived at the crash site and the sky children were wasting their bullets falling for their strategies immediately shooting into shadows only. He had left when they wanted to move closer to their metal fence.

Marie let out a breath she did not know she was holding. It sounded as if the army could not had suffered many losses this way, which was a good thing for her as it meant that Anya was most likely well and unharmed.

She followed the commander out of the tent to the pyres. Marie directly spotted Tris’ smaller body on one of them and she had to swallow against the lump forming in her throat.

Marie watched the pyres burning through a veil of tears silently falling from her eyes. In total twelve warriors had died so far from the explosion of the bridge. Lexa had been informed that three more were still fighting for their lives against severe injuries and without a proper healer present at the village no one was sure if they would make it. Ten additional warriors had been wounded but luckily just sustained little damage.

Time flowed by without Marie noticing and when the commander touched her shoulder an infinite time later she blinked catching on that the pyres had already burnt down to glowing embers. Most people had already left to turn in for the rest of the night.

“Come” Lexa ordered the dazed girl. She had occasionally looked over to the girl to see her stare at the pyres with tears streaming down her face completely unblinking.

The girl was in absolutely no condition to be left on her own at the moment so Lexa would just let her sleep with her in her own tent for the night. Hopefully Anya and the army would return the next day victoriously.

Gustus frowned at Lexa leading the girl back to the commander’s tent and lowly offered to let the girl share his tent for the night. He thought it was absolutely inappropriate for Heda to look after the girl this much but Lexa refused him of course. She had set her mind on it and she rarely let herself be swayed once she made a decision and Gustus being her personal guard for the last years knew that of course.

On the arrival in the huge tent Lexa forced some food and a mug with wine into Marie’s hands. The girl had probably not eaten anything in some hours and looked ready to faint any moment.

After a stern look from Lexa and seeing the woman eating and drinking a bit herself Marie actually did eat something and downed the wine in one go. Fortunately the wine made her feel slightly drowsy pretty quickly and Lexa directed her to a set of extra furs a maid had put there for Marie.

The girl was asleep as soon as she had laid down as the events of the day caught up with her. Lexa hoped that the wine would also help the girl sleep through most of the night.

Luckily for both of them the girl truly slept heavy without the interruption of nightmares until a loud commotion woke both of them. Lexa had actually just napped for a bit not changing out of her armour at all anticipating the return of several scouts to come.

And it was a scout that woke them. Lexa directly went to hear his report whereas Marie sat up in the furs blinking owlishly to stop her head from spinning.

The girl strained her ears to listen on in the report and what she could hear made her heart stop. The scout had reported that first reapers had interfered with the battle and then the sky children had barricaded themselves inside their metal thing. Apparently Anya had managed to slip into the metal thing before it had been closed and flames had erupted from the thing that burned all of the warriors still outside. But that was not even the worst part.

He had fled when the fire started and returned sometime later to find the metal thing empty. All the sky children as well as Anya were gone.

“But they cannot be just gone!” Lexa raged at the scout loudly.

The scout tried to explain that he could not find any real tracks. The only thing he had found were strange metal things left behind and tracks obviously left behind by human beings leading in the direction of the mountain.

Lexa dismissed the scout in a strangled voice but could not do anything as one of Indra’s scouts who had had an eye on movements from the mountain wanted to make his report as well.

Marie again listened on and learned that mountain men had been seen leaving the mountain and more people then had left had returned later in the night.

Lexa had just dismissed this scout as well when Marie emerged from the other side of the tent padding barefoot over the tent’s floor.

“Anya is inside the mountain, isn’t she?” the girl asked in barely a whisper with horror edged firmly into her young features.

Lexa nodded with a grave expression swallowing harshly against the lump forming in her own throat. They had obviously gravely underestimated this sky children when they were able to lay siege to an army of 300 warriors outnumbering them greatly. All of them had known that the explosion of the bridge would have surely caught the mountain men’s attention so it did not come as a surprise for Lexa that they had made their appearance.

Marie’s thought were racing wildly in her head. She just knew one thing for certain. Anya had once told her that no one who had entered the mountain had ever been seen again. So if the mountain men really had Anya she was probably dead already. The other alternative would be that the woman had died in the fire around the drop ship as the rest of the army seemingly had. The girl had no idea which fate would have been worse. At least the fire sounded like a quick death. Who knew what the mountain men actually did to the people they had captured? And she had lost her mentor so what was going to happen to her now? Would she be discarded as she had when she was without her parents on the Ark?

“What happens to me now?” the girl chocked out in a broken whisper.

Lexa regarded the girl silently for a moment. It was not unusual for a former second to take over the current seconds of the first after the demise of the first. Even Lexa had to accept that Anya’s fight seemed to be over. She had given a promise to the older woman to look after Marie for her should something happen to her in the battle and she would honour that promise.

Gustus and Titus would surely throw a fit when they heard of her decision. She had only once taken a second in her time as commander. Naively she had thought that as commander she would of course be superior in everything so surely her second would have been the best as well. She had taken on a young boy from Trikru at the age of six. After two years of her tutelage they were deep into war with ice nation. And Lexa had believed that her second would need to prove her superiority by marching at the front of the battle with her. Barely a few minutes into the battle the boy had been wounded deadly and Lexa had to recognize that she had gravely overestimated the boy’s and her own skills this day. The boy had payed with his life for her error and she had never taken a second again after that day.

But before Lexa actually had the chance to give a verbal answer to the girl’s question Gustus burst into the tent demanding the commander to follow outside.

Lexa quirked an eyebrow at her guard’s strange demanding behaviour but let it slide for now. The sight outside let her mouth drop open. Another thing was falling from the sky.

This time the ship did not explode when it landed on the earth so Lexa concluded that the passengers of this ship would have probably survived.

Marie had followed to the entrance of the tent and had also seen the falling ship in the sky. So the last ship had not been the whole ark after all.

Her eyes fell to the place where the pyres had burned last night and the realisation hit her that there would be no pyres for the fallen army as they had already burned and there would be no pyre for Anya as they did not have a body to burn. A little bit of hope silently blossomed in her chest that Anya might still be alive somewhere without prove of her body.

One of the warriors who had just moved on from being a second himself sneered at the girl with murder written all over his face.

“They have burned our warriors alive” he raged and made to actually attack the girl with his sword raised.

Lexa stepped in with one of her own swords hastily drawn and metal clashed loudly against each other. She had the man fallen and her swords tip pressed to his throat in seconds.

“Marie is not Skykru any longer. She will officially be introduced as my second into Trikru soon enough” Lexa loudly proclaimed and looked around the gathered warriors with hard eyes.

The commander knew none of them would dare move against the girl now but they still would have to keep an eye out for those seeking revenge in the dead of the night.

Indra looked rather perplexed at the girl while Gustus looked at Lexa as if she had just proclaimed the sky to be purple.

Marie herself was replaying the words in her mind over and over again trying to make sense of them. She had feared she would be banished from the village and now the commander would take her over? That was really hard to believe for the girl.

Without another word the commander turned around and went back into her tent Marie following her silently. Gustus and Indra also followed inside both had their eyes fixed on Lexa.

When Indra made to speak Lexa silenced her with a simple gesture “Whatever you want to say will not persuade me to change my mind, Indra. I have made a promise to Anya to look over Marie and I will honour that promise. If I were not commander you would not think anything about me taking her over as a second.”

Indra snapped her jaw shut and nodded begrudgingly.

“But you are Heda, Lexa. Trikru might accept that, but what about the other clans?” Gustus questioned with concern for Lexa’s life evident on his face.

“I will deal with them” Lexa simply answered “Return to your duties”

Both nodded and Gustus returned to guard the entrance of the tent and Indra to organize more scouting teams towards the new fallen metal thing.

“What are my duties now?” Marie asked uncertainly.

“I did not mean you now Marie” Lexa reassured the girl who still seemed rather tired “You should rest for a few more hours. We will discuss everything concerning your new role later.”

The girl nodded with a tight smile and returned to the additional furs in the other section of the tent.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi together,
> 
> I hope you all have a nice holiday.  
> So merry christmas =)  
> As a little present I'll do an additional update today
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 24  
> After Marie attends the funeral pyres together with the commander she is allowed to stay in Heda’s tent for the rest of the night. She hears scouts reporting that the army has been burned and mountain men have been seen there before all sky children and Anya disappeared. Lexa later proclaims to take over Marie as her second to TonDC. They can see another larger ship falling from the sky.

Chapter 25

Marie slept for a few hours the exhaustion and emotional turmoil of the last days finally catching up with the young girl.

When Lexa could turn in for a bit of sleep after the last reports had come and scouting teams had been organized to keep an eye on the crash site of the sky children and to investigate the newly fallen ships the girl was still sleeping.

Lexa observed the girl for a moment as she tried to shrug out of her armour as silently as possible. It would take some time getting used to having such a young and inexperienced second for her as well. She had seen first-hand that even Anya had been a lot gentler with the girl than she had been with Tris or Lexa before. The small body was wrapped tightly into the thick furs and the girl’s features looked anything but peaceful.

It had been some time ago that Lexa had to share her personal space with anyone and she regarded the girl to be too inexperienced and a too easy target to let her have her own tent at the moment. Sharing a tent would also strengthen a bond between them more quickly.

For Lexa it felt as if barely an hour had passed before she was woken by the girl’s nearly silent weeping. Lexa had always been a light sleeper and as commander she always had to be on high alert for a possible assassination attempt.

Marie had woken from a nightmare and was desperately trying to be as silent as possible. She was still feeling wary of Lexa’s knew role for her and the fact that the woman was the commander was intimidating her even more. Marie could not help wishing for Anya to be here instead right now, she had felt an instant connection to the older woman. It was not that Lexa had been unkind to her but she was not connected personally to the commander.

When Marie saw that she must have woken the commander up the girl stiffened up and tried to stifle her sniffling instantly.

Lexa could spot the girl’s struggling immediately when she stood up to see what was wrong with her charge.

“A nightmare?” Lexa inquired keeping her voice soft on purpose as she could see that the girl seemed intimidated by her.

Marie looked up at Lexa and nodded mutely tears still rolling down her cheeks silently.

Lexa crouched down next to the girl who had set up in her furs “You are missing Anya, aren’t you?”

She had obviously guessed correctly as the girl’s lips started to quiver and she cried in earnest now. Lexa squeezed the girl’s shoulder to offer some comfort in silent solitude. She knew that there was nothing she could say to ease the girl’s grief.

In the next moment Marie launched herself at Lexa and slung her arms around the woman’s neck. Lexa had to balance herself against the offhand weight of the girl as to not get knocked over. She awkwardly wound her arms around the smaller body and petted her hair and back soothingly.

Lexa had little to no experience with grieving children. Her only experience with children coming from her deceased second and the nightblood children in Polis. But her second had been too proud to be chosen as her second and she had never seen the boy shed a single tear. The nightblood children rarely cried as well. Only the younger ones ever cried on their first days in Polis when they missed their families the most and the memories were still fresh on their minds. Training and lessons with Titus diverted their attention quickly and she rarely had to comfort any of them.

“It is alright” Lexa tried to sooth the crying girl. She could feel the girl shaking in her arms from the sobs wreaking her smaller body “Ssshh”.

Lexa kept on whispering non-sense reassurances into the girl’s ears for a rather long time while she felt the front of her shirt being soaked with Marie’s tears. She was glad she had decided to let the girl stay in her tent or the child would have been completely on her own with her grief.

When Marie had finally calmed down to occasional sniffles the girl pulled away from Lexa her face flaming red in shame.

“I am so sorry” the girl tried to excuse herself in a quivering voice.

“No harm done, Marie” Lexa reassured the younger girl with a gentle smile and brushed the girl’s blonde hair away from her face.

“Do you think you can sleep for some more?” Lexa asked Marie.

Marie saw how tired the woman actually looked and nodded although she was sure she would never fall back asleep now.

The commander had early on developed the talent to spot if a person was speaking the truce. This talent had served her well as commander so far and she immediately saw that the girl had just lied as well.

“I am pretty certain Anya also had wanted you to speak only the truce to her. The same is true for me” Lexa spoke in a firmer tone to the girl “So let’s try again. Do you think you can sleep some more?”

Marie looked at the commander with wide eyes and answered in a subdued voice “I am sorry. You look tired…”

When the girl trailed off looking to the floor Lexa at least concluded that the girl had been trying to be considerate and had not lied to spite her. The girl was correct in her assertion she was feeling exhausted and the morning was only a few short hours away.

As Anya had told her that the closeness of her body had calmed the girl during the thunderstorm Lexa thought to try a similar solution. She knew that she did not have the same measure of trust from Marie as Anya obviously had but they would grow closer with time.

The other option would be letting the girl spend some time on her own in the camp which Lexa did not regard as a good option in the night with so many grieving warriors.

“I understand Marie. We could lie down together, maybe you can sleep some more that way as well” Lexa offered in a soft tone. She was completely out of her abilities here as well. She was well versed in the art of fighting and balancing politics but taking care of a child most of the time was new terrain to her as well.

Marie nodded with an uncertain expression and laid down next to Lexa on the commander’s bed.

Lexa fell asleep rather quickly while Marie was tense and unsure for longer. In the end Lexa was shortly roused from sleep again when the girl finally did snuggle up to her. Lexa had to stifle a laugh as she pictured Titus’ reaction to finding the mighty commander as a pillow to a young sky girl. But she did fall asleep with the smaller body snuggled up to her and both managed to catch some more much needed rest before the sun rose and Lexa had to rise as well.

The morning was luckily not as awkward as Marie had feared. The commander did not mention her nightly breakdown at all for which Marie was grateful.

Alira came to bring the commander breakfast and help her to re-braid her hair after the night. Lexa was of course able to do so on her own but it was faster to have someone else do it.

The woman smiled at Marie who stood awkwardly to the side when she entered. Gustus also entered the tent to rely a message from one of the scouting teams. The man just shortly glanced at Marie while the girl tried to be as silent and unobtrusive as possible.

“Heda, the scouts have seen Skykru soldiers moving to the sky children’s ship. They were all armed with guns but the scouts have not been spotted by them” Gustus told Lexa.

Marie’s skill of Trigedasleng was improving rapidly now that she was exposed to the language so often and she was able to understand most of Gustus’ words without translations.

Lexa nodded satisfied “I want the scouts to remain undetected for now. We need to know their numbers and movements before we do anything. I also want you to send riders to the neighbouring clans to order for reinforcement.”

Gustus nodded wordlessly and left again to directly carry out the commander’s orders.

“Eat something” Lexa ordered Marie not having forgotten about the girl.

Lexa saw that the girl’s braids had come undone during the night as well “Are you able to braid your hair on your own?”

Marie took a bite from a piece of bread and shook her head “Not yet.”

Lexa nodded and when Alira had finished the commander’s braids she asked the woman to also do the girl’s hair for now. Alira quickly put a simple design into the girl’s blonde hair that kept her long hair out of her face. Marie cautiously ran her fingers over the braids when they were finished. There was no mirror she could see so that would have to do for her imagination.

Alira left them to their breakfast shortly after and both ate in companionable silence. Lexa had never been one who had the urge to fill every second with mindless chatter rather enjoying the few peaceful moments throughout the day she could get. Marie had no idea what to say and her mind was still occupied with her grief.

As Lexa did not have any pressing matters to attend to in the morning she had time to start training her new second in combat before the first scouts were expected back with their report on the movements the sky people made.

So after the breakfast Lexa ordered Marie to change into the light armour the girl owned and to follow her.

Lexa had no desire to start training the girl in the fighting pits of TonDC as she was bound to gather a crowd of on-lookers pretty quickly.

So Marie followed Gustus and the commander into the woods surrounding TonDC. The walk was relatively short and they stopped in a small clearing covered in soft green grass and a few flowers.

Gustus went to stand at the border of the clearing when Lexa called him back.

The commander handed a wooden staff to Marie “Try to attack Gustus, Marie”.

The girl gapped at the older woman for a moment before she hesitantly took the offered staff from the commander’s hands.

The staff she was given was relatively thick and Marie thought it might be slightly too long for her. It was definitely heavier then it looked like.

“But I can’t just hit him” Marie replied with an unsure expression.

The bulky man rolled his eyes at the girl but remained silent while Lexa pursed her lips with a look clearly telling Marie to better get started.

Her first hit was more a joke of a hit than anything else. Marie barely put any strength into her attack unwilling to possibly hurt the man in front of her. What Marie had not expected was that Gustus used her attack to get a grip of the staff and throw her over with it in just a blink.

Astonished the girl was blinking her eyes trying to breathe again after the unexpected impact on the ground. 

Lexa was glaring slightly at the girl not being impressed by her lack of will at all “Stand up!”

Marie scrambled to her feet quickly to comply with the order and was handed the staff back from Gustus.

“Try again!” Lexa ordered in a calm voice and watched the girl’s movements. The child was betraying the region she wanted to attack before her actual attack.

It took Marie several tries to even come remotely close to hitting Gustus at all and she ended the training with forming bruises under her armour and a bleeding split lip.

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose “We have a long way to go…”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all leaving Kudo's and reviews =)  
> I will probably update again on new years day.  
> Hope you all had a great christmas =)
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 25  
> Lexa has to deal with Marie’s nightmares and feels completely out of her element comforting the younger girl. During breakfast with Lexa Marie hears a scout reporting that armed Skykru soldiers have been seen traveling to the drop ship. Marie has her first training session with Lexa and Gustus with wooden staffs.

Chapter 26

The next few days passed in a similar manner.

Marie was still sharing a tent with Lexa and ended up snuggled to the older girl on most nights after only a few hours of peaceful sleep. Lexa found it almost comical how the girl sought her out for comfort in the night and was clearly still hesitant and unsure around her in the light of day.

What made Lexa worry the most about the girl was the extent of her grief. Marie was still doing her training and followed the orders she was given but there was clearly something off with the girl. She had not once shown a desire to visit the horses that she obviously admired greatly. If Lexa did not keep the girl occupied with a task she would see her just standing somewhere staring into nothing.

Tension with Skykru were running high on the other hand. An increasing number of them had been trespassing armed with guns on her lands. Her scouts had the strict order to remain unseen as much as possible. But there had been some minor losses nevertheless. She had been informed that one scouting team had actually crucified three sky guards on patrol. Lexa was aware that something would need to be done against them and the sooner the better.

It had now been seven days since her warriors had been burned at the sky children’s crash site. She had sent out riders to the other clans to announce that a bounty had been put on all Skykru. Late in the night a bounty hunter had brought a lone Skykru man to TonDC, claiming to have found the man in the dead zone. Lexa had no idea how he might have gotten there, but she would deal with him later.

Right now Lexa was watching Gustus trying to train with Marie. Unfortunately the emphasis lay in the word trying. Lexa shook her head in frustration. It had been a week now and the girl did not even show the slightest improvement. Her movements were sloppy and there was no force behind any of her attacks. Lexa knew that the girl could have improved already but she obviously wasn’t into the training anymore.

“Enough, Gustus” Lexa called over and the man immediately lowered the staff he had been training the girl with. Lexa would have liked to move to real weapons but with the lack of improvements she would never get to the point to hand over a sword to the girl without having to worry that the girl would accidentally kill herself.

“Return to the village” the commander ordered Gustus with a tone that left no room for argument.

Marie blinked at the older girl confused. She was unsure what she had done wrong but she had learned enough of the commander to know that she had angered her.

Gustus nodded albeit reluctantly and left the small meadow they had been training on handing the staff over to Lexa on his way. He had already told the commander that he regarded the girl as completely unfit to ever become a warrior the prior night.

If the girl really had no will to become a warrior Lexa would not continue wasting her time with the child. There were enough professions the girl could apprentice for after all.

“Attack again” Lexa ordered Marie in a stern voice.

Marie looked startled for a moment. Up to this point she had always only had to attack Gustus and never the commander. In the end the girl did try to attack but Lexa could still feel the missing will behind the attack.

She easily deflected the flimsy attack with her staff and asked in a taunting voice “Is that all you can do?”

Marie tried again but Lexa found the attack similar to her first try without any effort behind.

Lexa gritted her teeth angrily, if she had to anger the girl to get a rise out of her, she would.

“Again” Lexa ordered in a bored voice twirling the staff between her hands in practised movements.

After Marie’s attack, Lexa this time countered the strike with one of her own, hitting the girl in the left side. She took great care in measuring her force of the attack as to not seriously injure the girl but it would almost certainly leave a bruise. The girl looked startled to be physically hit for a second but straightened up moments later.

“Again” Lexa issued the same order again and again. Each time the girl’s attack was flimsy and Lexa only commented with a scathing “pathetic” and a counterattack of her own. She was sure the girl would be bruised and stiff in the morning but Marie did not show an emotional reaction at all, which only increased the commander’s worry.

With her last attack Lexa swept the girl’s legs out under her so that she fell onto her back on the ground with a thud.

Lexa towered over Marie’s form in the grass and pressed the staffs end onto the girl’s chest “That was the most pathetic attack I have ever seen. Every five year old can do better than that.”

Marie’s eyes blazed a second before they dimmed over again.

But Lexa had seen the short spark and so kept on hissing her tirade to the poor girl “You will be a disgrace to me if you continue with this lame effort. How do you suppose to survive even the first attack in a battle? You would lay slain after only a few seconds!”

Marie’s eyes filled with angry tears and she pushed Lexa’s staff from her chest getting up from the grass to face the commander “I don’t, alright? I know that I would fall. I will never learn!”

The girl’s exclamations were nearly screamed at Lexa with frustrated tears.

The commander let her staff sweep the girl’s legs under her again for her insolence and took out one of her swords.

“Then let me put an end to you now” Lexa offered the girl in a deadly serious voice.

Lexa brought down her sword in the direction of Marie’s throat. In the last second before Lexa wanted to end her attack as to not behead the girl Marie suddenly brought up her staff deflecting the sword away from her throat.

The commander could see the girl’s grey eyes glittering angrily at her but she had her where she wanted her and now they could train in earnest.

“Attack again” Lexa ordered still deadly serious after putting her sword away again. The shock of near death had been finally enough to snap the girl out of her pathetic state.

Marie really did attack now. Of course she was no match to Lexa’s skill and the commander still easily deflected each and every blow but the girl kept on trying now without being told to. When the girl was panting heavily and still tried to get a single hit in Lexa disarmed her with a well-placed hit against her fingers holding the staff and the girl let the staff drop with a pained hiss.

“Enough” Lexa said with satisfaction in her voice and nodded at the girl.

She stepped up close to her and took her chin in a strong grip “No one will force you to become a warrior. Either you want to, or you don’t. But if you choose the path of a warrior you will have to put all your energy into it. Never underestimate yourself. You give up way too easily. Get smacked down, get back up!”

Marie nodded with wide eyes clearly impressed with the commander.

“Think about the choice if you want to become a warrior, or not” Lexa told the girl when she let go of her chin.

Marie nodded again biting her lips a second before she softly asked her eyes clouded with doubt “Do you really think I have the abilities to become one?”

Lexa fixed the girl with her green eyes in an unwavering glare “I would not waste my time with you otherwise. Anya also thought so.”

The girl exhaled loudly and nodded again still biting at her lips.

“No one expects you to suddenly become a fully trained warrior overnight. This training takes months if not years. But if you are not into it with your whole heart, you will never succeed” the commander spoke with putting emphasis on her last sentence.

Marie nodded again but Lexa was satisfied to see new determination burning in the girl’s eyes.

“Actually this was one of the first lessons Anya drilled into me after I became her second” Lexa recalled with a thoughtful expression. No one had believed that the youngest and scrawniest nightblood in the bunch could rise up to become commander. Only Anya had believed in her from the first second, so she knew the importance of that particular lesson and when she recalled the lesson, Anya’s approach all those years ago had been similar.

Marie looked at her with an awed smile on her face. Lexa had already concluded that the girl loved to hear more about Anya’s and her shared past.

“Now, come” Lexa concluded the lesson.

Marie was bleeding from a split lip and her whole body ached with pain, while her fingers where Lexa had hit her last were bleeding also and had started to swell a bit.

Lexa took the girl’s wounded hand into one of hers and inspected the damage she had done.

“We will get you some water to cool them” Lexa said to her young charge and took both of their staffs to return to the village.

Marie followed Lexa the way back to TonDC letting her eyes scan their surroundings. The commander noted that the girl was keeping her eyes open instead of silently being lost in her thoughts. So Lexa hoped that this lesson had been enough to get the message across to the girl.

She would still give her the chance to decide for herself if becoming a warrior was something she desired or not. Lexa did not think that Anya would have asked the girl for her opinion on that matter. But every one of her people had at least some basic fighting skills so the girl had needed to acquire them first no matter what she actually wanted to do with the rest of her life.

As promised Lexa sent a maid fetch for some cool water when they had returned to their tent. Marie was sent to clean herself up from the training. The girl was more familiar with the outline of the village and the villager’s had become used to the girl’s presence so Lexa had started to send the girl from the tent for some short periods of time.

While Marie was following her orders Gustus came into the tent. He had seen the girl on his way still bleeding slightly from her lip.

“I doubt she possesses the skills to ever become a warrior, Lexa” the bulky guard said to her his dark eyes reflecting the same doubt he had voiced the previous night.

Lexa looked at him contemplatively from her throne “We shall see in the next days. The girl is still grieving deeply for Anya. But she will have to make the choice to either become a warrior or not for herself.”

Gustus nodded and before he could say more Marie slipped back into tent holding a piece of cloth to her lips to stop the bleeding. The maid also brought a small bucket with water from the stream from nearby and Marie gratefully put her swollen fingers inside instantly feeling the relief the water provided.

“Lexa” Marie started to ask in a hesitant voice. An idea had bloomed in her head while she had been away from the tent. She wanted to desperately proof that she could indeed become a warrior and the sooner the better.

“Yes?” Lexa answered when the girl did not continue and looked at her with an expectant expression.

“Could I join some scouting teams or something?” the girl asked with her eyes showing that she was still thinking about the idea herself.

Lexa blinked at the girl while Gustus obviously had to control the urge to stare at the girl. The child so far had not shown any initiative of any kind to join in anything the village did except for when she was explicitly told to do so.

The commander thought about it for a second and then shook her head in the negative “Not right now, no.”

“But I need to show that I can help somehow…” the girl trailed off with frustration with herself glittering in her eyes.

“No one would let a second join scouting teams after only a few short days of training, Marie” Lexa explained when she saw disappointment  in those eyes as well “But I might be able to spar some hours tomorrow to take you on your first hunt.”

Lexa had made the last offer as a sort of compensation for having been so harsh with the girl before. Marie was instantly into the idea her grey eyes glittering with excitement.

“But I can’t shoot a bow, yet” the girl exclaimed after a few minutes of silent anticipation.

Lexa nodded “That won’t matter. You can try throwing knifes tomorrow.”

The girl was even more enthusiastic now letting out a squealed whoop of joy. And Lexa actually looked forward to hunting as well. In Polis she rarely had the sparse time to go on a hunting trip and it had been a few weeks since her last hunt.

Gustus just rolled his eyes at the childish demeanour of the girl.

To both of them it was already clear that the girl had decided to follow the path of a warrior but she still had a very long way to go to even become close to being one. But now that her will to actually learn had obviously kindled again there was hope for her still.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year to all of you =)  
> The chapter is a bit shorter but the break was just fitting there.
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 26  
> Lexa and Marie train with each other. Lexa is not satisfied with the effort the girl has been putting into training the past week. She can see that the girl is still grieving deeply for Anya but she has to snap the girl out of it or she will not waste her time any longer with the sky girl. After provocations to get a rise out of Marie the girl finally does fight back and Lexa is satisfied again with her effort rewarding her with the prospect of her first hunt the following day

Chapter 27

Marie was so excited about the prospect of going on her very first hunt that she found it extremely hard to settle down for the night. Her body was thrumming with nervous energy and her mind was racing wildly imagining what the day might bring.

Lexa had sent the girl to settle for the night while she was still changing out of her commander’s attire. Marie had gotten to see a softer side to the woman whenever she also retired for the night.

The days before the girl had mostly already fallen asleep when Lexa was finally able to try to get some rest. But right now the girl seemed wide awake and her grey eyes instantly found Lexa’s when she joined her in the sleeping part of the tent.

Lexa had just opened her mouth to ask the girl if she had already had a nightmare when the girl started to speak rapidly.

The child was speaking so fast that Lexa had to strain her hearing to discern the words.

“Slow down, Marie” Lexa gently reprimanded the girl and sat down on the edge of her bed facing the girl in her furs.

“I was thinking about the hunt you promised” Marie began a lot slower.

Lexa did not have in her heart to quench the girl’s obvious enthusiasm that there might be something tomorrow hindering their trip. But with a possible war looming before her she could not make definite plans.

“Where will we be going? Will we go alone? Or will Gustus come with us? Or someone else? What prey can we get? Will you make the kills? Will we face a _pauna_ or reapers?” Marie did not even take a breath in between the various questions.

Lexa just raised an eyebrow critically at the girl and waited until she just ran out of questions.

“Sorry…” Marie finally ended and fiddled with the furs in her hands.

A soft smile played on Lexa’s lips when she finally had the chance to answer some of the questions “We will most definitely not face a _pauna_. And I dearly hope neither reapers. You shall see tomorrow where we will go and now sleep. You can’t expect to hunt if you are not rested.”

 Marie pouted for a moment at not getting even half of her questions answered but relented and laid back down again.

Lexa also slipped under her furs and hoped that the girl would sleep the night without a nightmare.

For Marie the seconds seemed to tick by ever so slowly as she had started to roll around every few moments again not finding a comfortable position at all.

Annoyed Lexa huffed the constant shuffling of the girl was making it impossible for her to slip into slumber as well.

“Come here” Lexa ordered and lifter her furs up for the girl to slip under them.

Marie blinked at the woman in confusion but obeyed nevertheless. Up to now the commander had only let her join her if she woke up after a nightmare.

Lexa pulled the smaller body firmly against herself “Now concentrate on my breathing and only on my breathing. Match yours to it.”

Marie did as she was told and Lexa exhaled deeply when she felt the girl finally relax into sleep in her arms.

It had taken some time for Lexa to get used to sharing her sleeping space with someone again. She had never shared her furs with anyone after she had lost Costia but to her the closeness of the girl also proved calming to some extent. She knew that she could not let the girl develop a habit of only sleeping well if someone shared the furs with her, but she hoped that with time Marie would feel secure enough again and sleep would come natural and restful again without aid.

Luckily for both of them Lexa’s closeness was sufficient enough to keep the nightmares away for the whole night and Marie woke up completely rested and buzzing with energy. Her body ached from the hits she had taken in the last training but she had already started to get used to a certain level of pain.

The breakfast went over alarmingly fast as the girl almost wolfed down her food and waited obviously impatient for Lexa to finish her own while she also listened to the reports from the guards and a scouting team that had just returned.

Gustus who had joined them in the tent and brought in their breakfast had of course instantly picked up on the girl’s excitement and could not completely cover a laugh at the look on the girl’s face when the scouts had at least left and Indra promptly entered to also make a report.

“Marie” Lexa admonished the girl with a brief glare. Marie instantly straitened up and tried to stand still.

Gustus chuckled lowly when the girl started patting her foot impatiently after another minute and shook his head at the girl.

When Indra had left Marie directly asked “Can we go now?”

Her grey eyes were shining again with excitement and she had already turned towards the exit of the tent.

Lexa snorted but finally relented “Yes, we can. Although your patience clearly needs some work as well.”

Marie looked reprimanded for second before she perked up again “I am just so …”

“Exited?” Lexa supplied rolling her eyes “That much is painfully obvious.”

To Gustus’ outer dismay Lexa had decided that she would leave alone with Marie. Marie on the other hand was ecstatic with the prospect. She had started to see Gustus as a constant presence to the commander but she did not particularly like the bulky man.

The hunting trip in itself turned downhill pretty fast. Just as Anya had, Lexa directly started to correct the girl’s way to walk around the forest. The slight difference was that Lexa was quicker with giving her advice on how to improve in contrast to Anya just pointing out what she did wrong.

If Marie had hoped that the commander would be searching for their prey she was sorely mistaken. More by chance then everything else Marie did manage to pick up on the tracks of a group of deer.

But actually tracking the group of animals without alerting them to their presence was a lot harder than Marie had hoped.

When they finally did get near enough to a younger deer and Marie made to grab her dagger strapped to her thigh the commander shook her head.

Lexa had taken a bow and had decided to take down larger prey if they should find any. In honesty she had not really thought to be able to track and get close enough to prey with the girl on her first try but after the first hour she started to move way more silent.

Marie watched on as Lexa notched an arrow, took aim and took the animal down with a single shot. The girl was clearly in awe with her skill and looked at her with wide eyes.

“You will learn how to handle a bow later but with your dagger you would have just caused it needless suffering, Marie” Lexa explained when they went to collect their prey.

Marie nodded in understanding she had already gathered from narrations that hunters always tried to kill their prey in the first attack. That way the animal would die almost instantly and could not flee wounded.

Lexa eyed the deer she had just shot. The animal may still have been young but it would be quite heavy already so she opted for skinning the kill right there.

The commander made Marie stand close to her and watch her closely as she carefully skinned the animal.

Lexa hoped that her charge would not be overly disappointed that she had not made the kill herself but she still remembered that she had not made a kill on her own first hunt as well.

When Lexa had skinned the animal she started to cut the deer into pieces and blood started to flow more freely.

Marie had been standing beside the commander and watched on but as the blood started to flow her stomach revolted and she turned away to retch.

Lexa snorted “You will surely make a great hunter”

The girl was still retching and could barely look at the animal before she got the urge to gag again.

When Lexa had finished she finally regarded her young charge again. The girl looked completely pathetic, her face had a slightly greenish tint and she looked at the rest of the dead animal with obvious disgust.

“You do not that the meat you have eaten so far is procured exactly this way?” Lexa asked the girl laughing.

Marie nodded with a miserable expression “I have just never seen it before”

Lexa nodded that made sense as the girl had told her that they did not have any kind of animals on their spaceship.

After the girl’s stomach had finally settled again they had distributed parts of the animal between them while Lexa took the bigger and heavier parts and now carried their kill back to the village.

On their way back to TonDC Lexa asked the girl “Have you put some thought into what you want for yourself?”

Marie bit her lips for a second before she nodded with a thoughtful expression “I did. I want to become a warrior. I just don’t know if I really can.”

Lexa had looked closely at the girl’s face and nodded not having detected a lie “You do not lack talent completely. You just need to learn everything from the scratch. But it is not impossible, Marie.”

The girl smiled slightly obviously reassured enough by her words.

Lexa tried to let Marie navigate them back to TonDC and she had to compliment the girl on her instincts as she guided them back well enough.

When they reached TonDC Lexa was relieved to note that no one instantly stormed at her so there probably had been no crisis while she had been away with Marie.

Dusk was already starting to fall and Lexa sent Marie to collect them some dinner.

The villagers had gotten used to the kind child and the ones working at the communal kitchen always greeted her with a smile now.

Marie was balancing two plates and a pitcher with water on her way back to the commander’s tent when she saw someone stagger into TonDC from the treeline.

She could just see the outlines of the person through the impeding nightfall but the person seemed to sway on their feet and Marie went to see if she could help.

When Marie got nearer to the stranger she can see that it is a woman. The woman’s clothes were in a terrible condition, ripped and with a heavy layer of mud caked on them. The stranger’s hair was also matted with dirt and Marie could see some blood mixed into the dirt from the distance.

She stepped closer and when the stranger looked up at her, Marie let the things she had carried fall in shock.

As Marie looked into familiar brown eyes she whispers with total astonishment “Anya?”

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 27  
> Lexa and Marie go on their hunt together where Lexa shoots a deer with a bow. At the end Marie sees a stranger approach TonDC and discovers it to be a wounded Anya.

Chapter 28

The woman’s brown eyes connected with hers for a moment and Marie could shortly see recognition flashing in them mixed with pain and immense fatigue.

In a spur of a second Marie sprinted closer to Anya and flung herself at the woman overcome with a storm of emotions.

When Marie closed her arms around Anya the woman hissed obviously in a great amount of pain and alarmed Marie slackened her hold immediately and her hands came back from Anya’s side coated red with fresh blood.

The girl’s grey eyes widened in shock and she barely managed to keep Anya’s body somewhat upright as the woman suddenly lost consciousness and slumped forward.

Forgetting all about protocol for now Marie turned in the direction of the commander’s tent still holding onto Anya’s heavy body and yelled loudly for Lexa to come and help her.

The commander stormed out of the tent barely a second later with her swords drawn expecting a possible attack. Lexa quickly scanned the surroundings and spotted Marie holding onto the body of an unconscious woman.

“It’s Anya” Marie added instantly with helpless tears now dripping down her cheeks tightening the hold on Anya’s body slightly.

Lexa sheathed her swords again and quickly called over some guards to help carry the unconscious general into her tent as the healer’s hut was farther away and Anya seemed to be in bad shape.

A second was sent as well to fetch Alira as Nyko still had to return to TonDC.

Marie watched on as two bulky guards carried Anya into Lexa’s tent and laid her down on the commander’s bedding which was big enough to allow easy access to the wounded woman. She immediately stepped next to Anya’s unconscious form.

“What happened to her, Lexa?” Marie asked the commander her worried grey eyes only leaving Anya’s face for a second to glance at Lexa shortly.

“We won’t know until she wakes up” Lexa answered although she wondered the same thing.

“Come, make room for Alira, Marie” the commander added when Alira arrived barely a minute later and pulled the girl a pace away. No one had ever returned alive from the mountain before and Lexa had been sure to never see Anya again as well.

Alira assessed the bleeding wound on Anya’s side first. She turned the woman on her side and inspected the wound “It seems that she was shot but not by an arrow. A wound caused by an arrow would have been broader. The bullet has passed her through cleanly, it may save her life.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes but nodded. The mountain men had always been wielding guns so such a wound was to be expected. She hoped Anya would survive as their healers had little experience with dealing with such wounds and most warriors who had sustained such a wound could not have been saved. But with armed Skykru roaming through her forests it was not out of the realm of possibility that one of them had wounded Anya instead of mountain men.

Anya was a great general and strategist and as her former first she of course held great personal value for the commander as well and she had already lost many through the years she had held dear. Lexa dearly hoped Anya’s fight would continue for her own and for Marie’s sake as well.

Marie could see that the wound Alira was inspecting carefully was still emitting a sluggish trickle of blood. The woman had directed for blades to be heated in order to seal the exit wounds shut.

The girl watched on anxiously as Alira received the first red gleaming blade and pressed it on the round wound on Anya’s back. Anya groaned in pain even though she remained unconscious.

Before the guard with the second blade entered the tent Nyko suddenly rushed into the tent. The man looked dishevelled and started addressing Lexa in rapid Trigedasleng. Marie was unable to understand what the healer was reporting to the commander due to the speed of the language. His light eyes seemed to be blazing and Lexa had to loudly command him to stop his rapid report.

“Your case will be heard later, healer” Lexa harshly reprimanded the man for his insolence and shot a glare at the guards who had let the man enter without any announcement “First, do your duty”

Nyko seemed to visibly deflate but nodded and Alira stepped back so that the healer could take over Anya’s care.

Before the healer started his work he left shortly to gather some things out of his hut.

In the meantime a guard announced that one of the scouts who had gone missing had returned together with a man from Skykru.

Lexa had to leave to interrogate the scout on what had happened in the time he had been missing. She turned to Marie and the girl was still fixing Anya with an unwavering stare.

“Can I stay here with her?” the girl questioned in a low quivering tone her eyes glistening with moisture.

Lexa nodded this way she was sure Marie would remain guarded inside of the tent at least “But do not hinder Nyko’s work, Marie.”

The girl looked up shortly and nodded “I fear she will stop breathing when I look away…”

Lexa regarded the girl with softened eyes and squeezed her shoulders “Anya’s spirit is strong and her fight is not yet over.”

Marie hoped that the commander would be right and prayed to whatever god there may be to give Anya further strength.

Nyko returned shortly after the commander had left and grunted at Marie “If you are going to be standing there, you can help by cleaning her up”

Marie nodded relieved to be able to do something that could really help and started by gently washing away the dirt caked on Anya’s face revealing huge bruises underneath.

Nyko worked on the huger bleeding wounds and it took them a rather long time where Nyko started to explain to Marie what he was doing exactly and why he was treating the wounds with different herbs and salves. Marie sponged up all the knowledge she could get as she thought that some understanding of healing could come in handy later.

All the time Marie paid special attention to Anya’s chest rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern with each breath and to her great relief she could not detect any changes in the pattern.

“Do you think Anya will survive?” Marie asked Nyko with hope in her voice after they had finished and Anya was covered with fresh furs.

Nyko regarded both Anya and Marie for a moment before he answered “Anya is stubborn and strong. The bleeding has stopped. If the wounds are kept clean and do not fester infection she should make it.”

Marie nodded with a hopeful smile playing on her lips before she could say anything more the commander re-entered the tent closely followed by Gustus and Indra.

This time Lexa granted Nyko the permission to state for what he had rushed into the commander’s tent a few hours ago. Marie did not catch all the words as the speed of the speech increased rapidly but what she could understand was enough. Two Skykru boys had obviously entered the village where Nyko had been. The boys had wielded guns and one of them had shot eighteen unarmed villagers, mostly elders and children.

Marie could see Lexa, Gustus and Indra clenching their teeth in silent anger.

The scout who had delivered the Skykru man to TonDC had reported that the man had sought an audience with the commander to make peace. What a great way to start peace with sending an assassin to a small village Lexa thought while her eyes glistened dangerously.

The threat Skykru posed now could not be ignored any longer. Lexa silently debated the options she now had to proceed with the added threat of the Mountain she would need to eliminate Skykru fast before they could site with the mountain men. 

Gustus did not agree at all with the plan Lexa had come up with he regarded it as too risky and he was completely against Marie’s role in it. But Lexa thought the plan was a good idea and as Lexa had officially taken over Anya’s role as Marie’s first, her orders were of course to be obeyed. Notwithstanding the fact that Lexa’s word as commander was as good as written law anyway.

To be fair Marie had no idea if Gustus actually disagreed on her being part of the plan on principle or the other part where Lexa wanted to disguise herself as a servant girl and so get a purer impression on the two sky crew men they had captured and held in a cell.

Lexa regarded the silent girl standing next to Anya’s sleeping form with a thoughtful expression. Since the battle with the sky kids and Tris’ death the girl had mostly lost the sparkle in her grey eyes. Marie was still eager to learn and to adapt but her huge curiosity had been dimmed notably. It had started to re-appear after she had confronted the girl with the choice of death. Some of the generals were still openly against her decision to let the girl live and they despised her decision to take her over as a second even more. It was essential that the girl got a chance to prove her loyalty and the faster the better.

Marie had admitted that the two men they had captured might not even recognize her but Lexa hoped to get a rise out of them by presenting them with a child from them that had obviously integrated well into Trikru.

In the last moments Lexa revised her plan and motioned to a young second “Check if the clothes Marie wore when she arrived are still intact, if that is the case, bring them immediately. And hurry!”

Marie and Gustus were both looking at the woman with a questioning expression.

“Do you think you can act as if you were still our prisoner, Marie?” Lexa asked the girl in a low tone.

Marie scrunched up her face in thought for a moment before she nodded with uncertainty lingering on her features “I guess so, but why?”

Indra who was also standing behind them rolled her eyes at the girl lowly growling under breath. It was obvious she still regarded the girl as an impertinent brat.

Lexa on the other hand nodded, she had told the girl to ask all questions she wanted after all how were she supposed to learn anything if she just obeyed orders without further thought.

“Depending on your acting skills you will probably be able to get the most honest reaction out of them” Lexa told her as an answer. The commander hoped that the girl would be able to lie convincingly as it was sometimes a skill needed to keep you alive.

In the meantime the young second had hurried back with a bundle of clothes in hand. He handed them directly to Marie and the girl started to shrug out of her light armour and re-dressed in her old clothes from the ark. She had lost most of her shyness regarding her body as nakedness seemed to be a totally normal thing to the grounders, some of them even bathing together shamelessly in the streams.

The clothes felt oddly on her skin. The material scratchy and she definitely felt more comfortable and confident in the clothes she had received here.

Remembering her braids and that she never had worn any on the ark Marie opened the cords keeping them in place and combed her hair out with her fingers. Lexa took one of the cords and motioned for the girl to turn around. They would need to pull the girl’s hair up as the braids had left it too wavy. She fastened the ponytail with one of the cords and turned the girl around again.

The girl looked just slightly different from the first time Lexa had seen her. Marie was still pretty thin but had started to build light muscles, but this could be contributed to the weeks she had already spent on earth.

Marie felt oddly uncomfortable when Lexa told her she would not be allowed to keep her dagger with her. But who in their right mind would let a prisoner be armed?

Reluctantly the girl handed the dagger over to Gustus who put it into a pocket of the coat he wore with the promise to return it to her later.

She immediately missed the sense of protection the dagger had offered to her.

In the time it took Marie to re-dress Lexa had also shrugged out of the pieces that identified her as heda and had covered most of her braids with a grey shawl. Marie watched the woman also shed all hidden weapons.

But the girl had no doubt in mind that Lexa would still be able to effortlessly kill both of the ark’s men with just her bare hands. She doubted that even members of the guard on the ark had any fighting skills if you take their guns away.

Gustus looked even bulkier and more imposing then ever next to Lexa who seemed to have shrunk without the heavy armour concealing her slight built.

If Marie were not aware to the fact that Lexa was the one in power even she would have easily been fooled. Marie saw that Lexa even limbed a bit to emphasise her vulnerability.

Marie was to be escorted into the cell later as if she had been moved from one cell to another without any association to Gustus imposing as the commander or Lexa. That way Marie was able to keep watch of Anya a little longer. The woman had not steered so far but she was still breathing deeply.

“Please, fight Anya” Marie begged the woman in a low wavering voice and waited for the guard to fetch her when Lexa decided to include her in the charade.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello together =)  
> I hope I have not destroyed the scene *exited*
> 
> I am at the moment writing after Finn's execution and want to ask for your opinion on whether to let Gustus betray Lexa like he did in the show or not so that he may survive...
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in Chapter 28  
> Anya returned to TonDC from the mountain being severely wounded. Nyko who had went to TonDC to report the massacre of his village, helps to heal Anya’s wounds. A scout returns together with another Skykru man who is put in a holding cell where one of them from the dead zone is already waiting. Lexa decided to disguise herself as a servant and observe the Skykru man and wants to include Marie in the charade later.

Chapter 29

Marie had no idea how much time had passed since Lexa and Gustus had left. She had stayed next to Anya and kept watch over her. There had been no change in her condition at all.

A guard announced his presence by clearing his throat an undefined time later and commanded her to follow him. Marie nodded mutely at him trusting that Lexa had left someone trustworthy to get her to the holding cells. The young man took her in a tight grip with a quick apologetic glance when they neared the holding cells and shoved her into the way to the cell which was opened for him immediately.

Lexa looked up to see the girl being shoved onto the floor of the cell rather roughly by one of the guards and watched the scene with feigned disinterest. The two Skykru men in the cell sprung to action immediately as well.

The man who was closer to the girl sprung up and helped the girl up from the floor looking at her face closely.

“I know you from the Ark” he finally spoke after some ime with confusion lacing his voice. The man had obviously not expected a child from the Ark in the village and Lexa hoped that her plan would work. The men had not revealed anything interesting to her until now. The dark skinned man obviously regarded his people as better human beings with their tech but she was not sure about the other one.

The bound dark skinned man had also stood up and was looking at the girl as well, but he seemed to have figured out the girl’s identity “You are Marie Matthews, the youngest on the drop ship.”

Marie looked between them both fright marring her face. Lexa had to give her credit for playing the scared prisoner rather well. Even when she had interrogated the girl a few days ago she had not seemed this frightened.

“What happened to you, Marie?” the first man asked with concern now in his voice trying to sooth the girl.

Marie flickered her gaze to the cell’s door and let her gaze wander to Lexa only for a second as if just acknowledging the presence of another human being in the cell before she answered in what sounded like a shaking voice “I got separated from the others some time ago together with John Murphy. We were caught in the woods and brought here. I don’t know what happened to John though.”

The men shared a short silent glance before the one still standing next to Marie spoke again “No need to be frightened kid. The Ark guard is here now and we are going to get out soon.”

Marie just looked unconvinced and let herself slide down the wall next to her as if she was weakened by days without proper food.

“Have you been tortured as well?” the man standing next to her asked the girl inquiringly.

Marie shook her head vehemently “No, I have not been ill-treated.” Lexa narrowed her eyes slightly she hoped the girl would not reveal her role so soon.

“I have seen how savagely these people live, Marie” the dark-skinned man intervened clearly not believing a word the girl said.

Before Marie could retaliate the other man spoke up again this time directly to Lexa “The girl did not do anything. She is not included in this right?”

The man’s eyes flitting to the dagger still lying on the cell’s floor told Lexa that he wanted the girl spared from their fate.

Lexa looked at him and also took a glance at the dagger before shaking her head answering in an unsure voice “I do not think so. The commander did not say.”

“There has to be another way, Thelonious” the man said to his chained companion.

“There is no other way. Eighteen of our people have been slaughtered. Blood must have blood. It is our way” Lexa offered in a soft tone she usually reserved for small children. Simultaneously she was twirling a leave between her fingers to pass the time and strengthen her innocent image.

“What happens when we refuse to pick up the knife?” the man still standing next to Marie asked.

“The commander will use it to slit both of your throats” Lexa answered in a calm voice not looking up from the leave between her fingers.

The dark-skinned man seemed thoughtful “We can offer them technology, medicine, guns. I have seen how savagely they live …”

Marie interjected “ _They_ seem to be doing just fine without. I have not seen any starving people so far.”

Lexa gathered that the young girl was obviously angry at the dark-skinned man and then it clicked in her mind. Marie had told the chancellor’s name once and it had to be the same Thelonious Jaha who had had her mother executed and the girl incarcerated. But she still hoped the girl had not just blown her own cover with her outburst.

“I have seen some in the desert. They are living like primitive savages. We can offer them so much more, we are better than they are” Jaha answered in a reprimanding voice.

Marie’s grey eyes blazed angrily “How can you even say something like that?!”

“Marie…” Kane tried to interject but the girl ranted on her eyes glistening with angry tears.

“How is locking an eight year old up for trying to safe her mother better? How is floating the mother for being sick better?” the girl asked bitterly. Lexa was relieved that Marie had not hinted at her new role here but rather let her pent up emotions towards the former chancellor out. It might also work to get an unfiltered reaction out of them being confronted with what they had done.

Jaha looked right back at her his gaze unyielding “We were trying to survive, Marie. We all deeply regret tragedies like yours. But sacrifice had to be made for the human race to survive.”

To Lexa the man’s words seemed empty and dishonest while his face was not showing even a glint of compassion for the girl. He might speak true that he remembered all he had wronged but he obviously did not feel for their deaths.

The other man in comparison looked deeply pained at the reminder of the girl’s fate.

Jaha obviously was not finished “What were we to do with a criminal child without parents?”

Marie gaped at him clearly shocked into speechlessness obviously fighting hard against her tears now.

“Thelonious, please” the other man tried to calm Jaha down who had started to get angry as well.

“What, Markus!” Jaha answered hotly “We did what we had to do. One life loss of a single girl had no meaning at all.”

Markus just shook his head tight-lipped as an answer and sat down next to Marie with an apologizing expression and a kind smile while Marie was trying not to start crying.

“So there is nothing we can do at all?” Markus turned his attention to Lexa again.

Lexa just shook her head silently as an answer unwilling to say more.

Markus regarded the dagger again and went to pick it up from the floor.

Jaha had also stood up “What are you doing, Markus? We are not going to comply with their ways! They want to turn us against each other. That is not the way we achieve peace.”

“They showed as a way to peace, Thelonious. If we truly want peace…” Markus said picked up the dagger from the floor and turned to the other and offered the dagger to the other man “You have to kill me.”

“No” the former chancellor answered immediately and crossed his arms over his chest “We have not come this far to die here. There has to be another way than murder.”

Markus now brought the dagger to his own arm “What if we can only survive by sacrifice?”

“Markus no do not do it!” Jaha shouted and went to the man as far as the chains keeping him at the wall allowed it.

“We do need peace between our people, Thelonious or the killing will never end” Markus said and pressed the dagger deeply into his own arm. Jaha strained against the chains reaching Markus finally and wrenching the dagger from his hand. He threw the dagger away from both of them and pressed onto the bleeding wound.

“Help us, please” Thelonious had turned to Lexa and his words sounded honest for the first time.

Lexa took a cloth hidden in her shirt and gave it to the man wanting to see what he would come up with as an alternative.

Thelonious rapped the bandage over Markus’ arm and Marie watched as he bent down again to retrieve the dagger.

In a quick movement he had pressed the dagger against Lexa’s neck and hauled the young woman up pressing her against his chest.

Marie’s eyes widened but she could not detect fear in the commander’s eyes and was reassured that Lexa knew that she could disarm Jaha without any problems.

Gustus and two guards had burst into the cell when Jaha shouted for them to break them free.

Lexa commanded them to wait when they made to grab their swords and forcefully remove the man from their commander.

Markus had also stood up and was trying desperately to reason with Jaha “Thelonious please, she is just an innocent girl. Let her go. This will not help us”

Marie could have laughed out loud as Lexa was anything than just a girl.

Marie watched on awed as Lexa brought Thelonious to the cell’s floor in only a few seconds and now had the dagger pressed to his throat.

Thelonious surrendered immediately when he recognized that he had no chance and Lexa stood up again.

Marie could see her whole posture changing. Gone was the young woman who could have easily passed as a mere servant perfected even with a slight limp. In her place even in the clothes she wore was a proud woman who seemed to radiate power.

Lexa was handed back her shoulder guard with the red cape and buckled it into place and removed the shawl that had hidden her intricate braids and nodded to Marie who stood up from the floor as well.

Gustus also handed her back her dagger immediately and both Marcus and Thelonious gaped at Lexa.

“You are the commander?” Marcus asked disbelief colouring his voice.

“I have learned much about you. It is clear your intentions are honourable, your desire for peace is true” Lexa addressed only Marcus now.

“Free him” the commander ordered and the guards obeyed immediately while Marie had stepped up next to Gustus.

“Later we will talk. In the meantime your friend will be used to send a message” Lexa said and while one guard restrained Marcus two others started to beat Thelonious up. Markus pleas to stop were completely ignored.

“The massacre must be answered. Blood must have blood” Lexa said with absolute authority in her voice.

Marcus looked at her disbelievingly as the guards hauled Thelonious out of the cell.

“You are not a prisoner here” Marcus finally addressed Marie with confusion clear on his face.

Marie just shortly glanced at Lexa before she shook her head resolutely. They had not spoken about what she was allowed to reveal and what not so she thought it might be better not to answer in words.

“Get him something to eat and drink” Lexa commanded to one of the guards “Escort him to me later”

The woman turned from Marcus and regarded Marie for a second and acknowledged her with a nod “Come”

Marie followed Lexa without looking back at Marcus. She did not harbour any particular ill feelings towards him but she had not felt pity for Jaha when he was beaten up earlier. A small part of her even believed the man deserved every hit he had got and much more.

On the way back to the commander’s tent Marie remembered that Anya would probably still be lying there. She hoped that Anya was still breathing but Marie guessed that someone would have alerted Lexa if Anya’s condition have had changed.

“You did well” Lexa acknowledged on the way back to her tent towards Marie.

Marie smiled slightly and nodded relieved that she had not screwed up.

“Your strategical thinking needs some improvements though. But you will learn” Lexa continued letting her gaze travel through the village.

She had given orders to the guards on what message Thelonious should deliver to the Skykru. She would grant them two days to leave or her army would attack. She would still listen to what Marcus had to offer though.

On the return to her tent they both changed back into their normal clothing and Lexa applied war paint to her face. She wanted to present her most imposing persona to Marcus. Marie was relieved to see that Anya was still breathing although she had not woken up either but Lexa reassured her that she had faith in Anya.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your input on Gustus. You will have to wait several chapters before you see what I decided to go with ;) As I had been quite productive in the weekend I can already give you another update. Hope you like it =)
> 
> Preivously in chapter 29  
> Marie is brought into the cell where Thelonious Jaha and Marcus Kane are kept where acts as a prisoner to the grounders and Lexa presented herself as a servant girl. Both do not want to kill the other and Jaha declares Marie’s fate as a tragic loss but nothing too serious. After Jaha tried to attack Lexa to force the grounders to free them Lexa revealed herself as the commander and both leave to talk to Marcus later.

Chapter 30

Marie watched on as Lexa re-dressed in her full commander regalia. She was intrigued most by the glove that ended on the first knuckle and that was decorated with metal mimicking the bones of the hand underneath the black leather.

Tentatively Marie laid her hand over Anya’s larger one and was relieved to feel the skin normal temperature wise. She had feared Anya might have gotten an infection or had slipped away while she had been in the cell with Kane and Jaha. She clenched her teeth angrily thinking about what the former chancellor had said. His words had almost assured her that she would have never been integrated back into the society of the Ark after her mother died.

Lexa was meanwhile applying black war paint around her eyes and down her cheeks. Marie had never seen her with it and thought it reminded her of a racoon and made the green in her eyes even more striking. She had seen a picture of the animal in a book once years ago. The commander’s eyes seemed to gleam now that they were accentuated by the black paint.

“You can change back as well, Marie” Lexa suddenly said and startled the girl who had taken up to watching Anya’s chest falling and rising again.

“Sure” Marie nodded and started to shrug out of her old clothed. She was suddenly glad to be able to get them off her and hopefully never to see the clothing again. Quickly Marie re-dressed in the clothes she had been given by the grounders and she was so familiar with them now that she did not need any help anymore to get everything in its right place.

To finish Marie buckled the sheath of the dagger around her thigh and placed the dagger she had received back from Gustus into the sheath.

“Turn around” Lexa ordered who had watched the girl change back into the clothes. The commander loosened the band keeping the girl’s blond hair up in the ponytail and gently combed the hair through with her fingers. With quick and well-practised movements Lexa braided the girl’s hair into a few intricate braids in a style she herself had worn as a second.

The commander had also ordered to have a coat tailored for the girl. It would start to get colder soon and the raining would increase as well. Lexa saw the called for piece of clothing laying on her bed and held it open for Marie to slip in.

It was a coat made from leather that had been died into a green so dark it seemed almost black on first glance. The leather had been layered to make it protective against light attack and had a long hood on the back. Lexa fastened the buckles for Marie and took a step back to assess the girl’s appearance.

The commander nodded with a satisfied gleam in her eyes “You look like one of us now, Marie.”

Marie dearly wished to have access to a mirror now but there was none in the commander’s tent but she smiled at Lexa nonetheless being appreciative about the gifted coat.

“Thank you” Marie said softly and smiled a bit wider.

Lexa gave a curt nod as acknowledgment “Appearances are very important in politics”

Marie looked at the commander with a scrunched brow as she did not understand that she had anything to do with politics.

“First impressions are most important. You are a part of Trikru now, which will be made official in the next days, and you need to look like that” Lexa explained to the girl “And this does not only apply to Marcus kom Skykru but even more to the generals of the clans that will arrive soon”

Marie nodded with a thoughtful expression contemplating the new information silently.

They had just finished getting ready and Marie had checked again that Anya was still breathing when one of the guards outside of the tent announced Indra’s arrival.

The general entered accompanied by Gustus as Lexa closed off the curtain concealing her bed from view from the main part of the tent.

Lexa sat down on the wooden throne in the centre of the tent and Gustus took position next to her as her personal guard. Marie stood beside all of them at first unsure of what to do exactly until Lexa ordered her to stand on her other side.

Indra made a report telling the commander that another general was ready to move his warriors into position at a river. Marie noted to herself that she was really making progress in Trigedasleng. She did not understand all of the words Indra had used but enough to make sense of the report without the need for translation.

Lexa just listened to Indra’s report mutely without any reaction until other guards suddenly entered the tent leading Marcus Kane in between them.

Marie could see Marcus swiftly looking over the attendants in the tent and his glance lingered a second longer on herself and she thought she might have seen surprise flashing in them before he directed his gaze to the commander.

Lexa just stared down at the man sitting regally on her thrown without a word at first.

It was Marcus who spoke first and he did so with desperation evident in his voice “Commander, we can still find a way to avoid violence.”

Marie tried to keep her face impassive as Lexa and Gustus were doing but she highly doubted that the army would really want to lay down their weapons after eighteen people had been slaughtered in a village.

Indra reacted to the man’s declaration instantly her hand gripping the hilt of her sword as she answered hotly “ _The sky people have given their answer. They think you are weak.”_

The general had switched back to their native tongue and it was apparent that Marcus did not understand most of what was said.

Lexa jutted her chin out defiantly as Indra ended her statement with the word “weak”. The commander knew that it was imperative for her survival that her people would never question her strength.

_“Let me show them how strong you are”_ Indra ended gripping her sword tighter.

Marcus was eying Indra with barely covered suspicion.

Lexa had listened to them both without any outward reaction and she spoke in an even voice “My warriors were watching your camp. They move guns to the wall. I offer generous peace, they prepare for war.”

Marie silently begged that no additional warriors had been shot so far to add to the pile of grounders Skykru had already killed.

Marcus raised his hands in a soothing gesture when he answered desperation more pronounced now “Commander with all due respect…”

The man made to step closer to the throne Lexa was sitting on and the guards who had brought him in were already stepping in front of the throne to protect their commander blocking Marie’s clear path of view from Marcus.

Marie dearly doubted that Marcus had any idea how powerful the commander really was. It had taken her several days to get even the slightest understanding of the hierarchy the grounders lived in.

“When we are threatened our first instinct is to defend ourselves. In that we are very much like you” Marcus tried to explain and asked “Give my people more time. Please!”

Lexa regarded him for a second before she responded “Time to strengthen your defences?”

“No” Marcus instantly declined “Time to understand the generosity of your offer.”

Indra reacted to his words first in a low and serious voice “There can be no understanding between Skykru und Trikru. We are born of different worlds.”

Marie hoped that Indra was wrong in her notion or her place with Trikru would never be secure for her if everyone were to share Indra’s opinion. In her mind there absolutely was a chance for understanding between both people but it would need heavy adjustments from Skykru first.

_“Blood must have blood”_ Indra finished glancing at Lexa who still sat as relaxed on her thrown as if they were merely discussing the weather and not a possible war. Marie thought she was starting to understand what Lexa had meant with her words about politics and the importance of appearances.

Marcus was looking at the commander now silently waiting.

_“Move your warriors into place”_ Lexa commanded Indra to start preparations.

The general did not react with words and Marie watched as Indra just turned around and left the tent without another word. It was obviously a signal that the commander had made her decision and the talks were finished for now.

Marcus also watched Indra leave and turned back to Lexa quickly addressing her again in an almost pleading voice “Commander, Indra is right. We are born of different worlds. But we have to share one world.”

Marie silently doubted that Lexa would “have” to do anything if she did not want that for her people.

Lexa just shortly glanced at Gustus and stood up from her throne in one fluid movement and made to move away behind the curtain where Anya still lay. The commander motioned for Marie to proceed herself and the girl obeyed instantly slipping behind the fray material.

_“Skykru and Trikru, together”_ Markus called behind the retreating commander and Lexa stopped in her tracks and turned back towards the man a few seconds later.

“Maybe we can learn to understand each other” Marcus continued with conviction clear in his tone.

Lexa and Gustus shared a silent glance. Lexa internally hoped that the man might be right in his notion. If Skykru were not to ally with the mountain men they might ally with her and they might have a chance against the mountain sometime. Anya and she had decided to give Marie a chance in the ranks of Trikru, but giving one single child, which had done no real wrong, a chance was a total different scale then trying to bring peace between her people and Skykru. Too much blood had already been spilled for her people to accept peace without any retribution.

“All I am asking for is a little more time, please” Marcus finished his plea and waited for the commander to react.

Lexa seemed to contemplate his words for a moment before she replied her voice as unyielding as the metal of her sword “The decision has been made. We move into position right now. You will be brought back to your people then.”

The commander motioned to one of the guards and he took Marcus in a vice like grip and escorted him out of the commander’s tent.

Marie had continued to listen from behind the curtain and had already checked on Anya.

Lexa found the girl kneeling next to Anya’s unconscious form and gently holding one of her hands in between her smaller ones.

“Where are we moving?” Marie questioned Lexa softly without looking up from Anya’s face. The woman’s face was still looking too pale to be healthy and she had obviously not woken up yet.

“We will break camp in a few hours and march to theirs to surround them. Skykru will be surrounded before their time is up” Lexa explained.

“I thought you are giving them the opportunity to leave your land?” Marie questioned back with a furrowed brow.

The commander nodded curtly with a satisfied gleam in her eyes that the girl was starting to use her head “I am. But if they do not leave until dawn every one of them will be slaughtered.”

“But…” Marie started and stopped again looking down at her hands still holding onto Anya.

“Continue” Lexa commanded the girl to speak her mind.

“This is not meant as …” Marie paused again trying to sort through her thoughts “Criticism”

The commander had the ghost of a smile playing around her lips for a second “You are allowed to speak your mind freely when we are alone. You only have to be careful who you let hear your thoughts.”

Marie nodded and continue again “Marching against Skykru is bound to cause heavy losses. The guard that came down are heavily armed with guns.”

Lexa nodded letting out a deep breath. She had already thought about that and she knew that the girl was right. Fighting against Skykru would cause her army heavy losses but every single warrior of her would rather die in battle then let blood be unanswered.

“That is absolutely true, Marie” Lexa answered and sat down on the edge of the bed turning to face the girl still kneeling next to the bed “But Skykru will not have enough bullets to kill all of us.”

Marie swallowed thickly her eyes swimming in unshed tears as she looked down on Anya “Do you think Skykru have shot Anya?”

The question had been nagging at Marie’s mind for some time now. The woman had told her that the mountain men also wielded this kind of weapons but from what she had heard from the scouts reporting to the commander the Skykru guard that had patrolled through their forests was also armed with guards and they had shot at every suspicious movement.

Lexa contemplated the question for a few moments also her thoughts had gone in the same direction already “I cannot say. We will know when Anya wakes.”

The commander had also noted with satisfaction that Marie had obviously already stopped thinking herself to be part of Skykru as she always separated herself from their actions in the words she spoke.

“Rest a bit before we break camp” Lexa suggested to Marie who looked as exhausted as she felt. As commander she would need to be seen in the camp right now but the girl was unaccustomed with the strain of the days before a battle “The next days will be strenuous.”

Marie bit her lips for a moment obviously unwilling to follow her suggestion.

Before Lexa could reprimand the girl to follow her suggestion Marie looked at her with her grey eyes swimming in tears and her voice quivering “I fear Anya will slip away when I look away too long now …”

 Lexa let her face and eyes soften as she covered Marie’s and Anya’s hand with her own squeezing reassuringly “There is nothing you can do now. Anya would not want you to exhaust yourself needlessly. She will wake when she is ready, she is strong and too stubborn to surrender now.”

Marie looked up at Lexa with a wavering smile but nodded and slipped out of the coat and laid down on the furs next to the bed.

Lexa nodded once more and left the tent without another word but she assigned guards to keep watch of the tent for her.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 30  
> Lexa and Marie returned to the commander’s tent and Marie watched Lexa change into her full commander attire and Marie is gifted a leather coat. Marie observes a meeting between Lexa and Marcus Kane who tries unsuccessfully to sway the commander’s opinion of Skykru. Marie is worried that Anya still had not woken up.

Chapter 31

It was a few hours later when Lexa returned to her tent.

Directly upon her entry she discarded of the heavier parts of her armour laying them on a table as silent as possible. She slipped behind the curtain into the sleeping area of the tent.

Anya still lay on her bed and had obviously not woken up yet. The woman still looked sickly pale and Lexa had ordered for Alira to prepare a broth for Anya. The woman would die of thirst if they did not force something into her soon.

She could see Marie starting to twist in her furs and the girl’s face scrunching up as a nightmare took hold of the child.

Lexa crouched down next to her and put her hands on the girl’s shoulders to stop her movements and gently shook the girl to rouse her “Marie, wake up.”

It took a few moments until the girl’s grey eyes opened widened in fear and her body shot upright trying to rip herself from the hands on her shoulders.

“Ssshhh, you’re alright” Lexa tried to sooth the obviously frightened girl “Look around, you are safe, Marie”

“Lexa” Marie said in a clearly shaken voice.

“You are safe” Lexa repeated soothingly and waited on her eyelevel until the girl’s elevated breathing slowed back to a normal rate.

Marie nodded some time later and directly her gaze searched for Anya behind Lexa.

“She is still breathing, Marie” Lexa reassured and stood up just as Alira announced her presence at the entrance of the tent.

Marie could see through the fray material of the tent that the sun had already risen while she slept and she did feel much more rested now. She could hear the activity of the army around them in TonDC so she assumed that Lexa had already given the order to start breaking the camp.

The girl stood up from the furs and folded them together in a neat pile while Alira entered carrying a tray with food and drink for Lexa and Marie and a bowl with steaming broth for Anya.

Involuntary she shuddered as she remembered parts of her dreams. Her mind was trying to convince her that the commander’s army would all fall under the rain of bullets from Skykru and she was left standing surrounded by the slaughtered warriors.

Marie put on the coat again and strapped the sheath with the dagger onto her thigh and instantly felt stronger somehow.

She observed the commander who had been washing away her black war paint and re-braided some of the braids that had started to loosen slightly. Lexa was straightening her spine slowly trying to get out the aches that came from being on her feet so long. Marie thought that without the war paint and all the heavy armour the commander looked much more the young woman she still was but she was also aware that none of the other warriors would probably ever get to see any cracks in the strong façade of the commander.

Alira put the tray on a small table that stood next to the bed and handed a plate with food and a mug to Marie “Good morning, child”

“Good morning” Marie greeted the woman back with a smile on her face. She remembered that the older handmaid had taken care of her when she had fallen ill. She took the offered food and the drink with a thankful nod and plopped back down on the pile of furs to eat.

Lexa joined back with them and also started to eat the food Alira had brought for her.

Alira had sat down slightly behind Anya in the meantime and had brought the woman’s upper body onto her lap. Gently she opened Anya’s mouth and slowly forced some of the broth down the other woman’s throat.

Marie ate her breakfast in silence and just observed how Alira took care of Anya. After she had emptied the bowl of broth the handmaid had inspected the open wound on Anya’s arm and the gunshot wound. She nodded with a satisfied expression “No signs of infections in the wounds”.

Marie let out a breath she had not noticed to hold at hearing the news. Even though Anya still had not regained consciousness she knew that an infection would almost surely kill the woman.

“Why has she still not woken up?” Marie asked in a worried tentative voice unsure if her question would be welcome.

Alira turned to the girl and gave her a slight smile “Anya has lost a lot of blood, her body needs time to heal. She will wake up when she is ready.”

Both Lexa and Alira seemed to have faith that Anya would indeed wake up so Marie just nodded mutely hoping the woman would do so soon.

The commander dismissed Alira for now and put her armour and her long coat back on and lastly fastened the commander’s red sash into place under her shoulder pauldron.

Marie watched on in awe as the commander strapped two short sheaths onto her back and sheathed two elegant swords into them. Silently she wondered how Lexa could sheath the swords without slicing away some of her hair or cutting into her back so effortlessly.

“No face paint?” Marie asked as Lexa seemed to turn to leave the tent.

Lexa shook her head “It is called war paint, not face paint. And no, we are not marching into war today only into place for a potential war tomorrow.”

Marie nodded mutely storing the new information in her brain.

“Come” Lexa ordered and turned around to leave the tent. Upon their exit Gustus fell into step slightly behind Lexa mutely and Marie copied the man’s position.

All around TonDC the tents that had been erupted in the previous days were being removed again. In the night more warriors had obviously arrived as TonDC seemed to burst with warriors. When a warrior spotted the commander approaching he would stop doing whatever he had been doing and bowed to the commander with a solemn “Heda”.

Marie could easily distinguish the warriors who had seen her before from the ones who had just arrived at TonDC. The ones who had not seen her until now were mostly glaring at her as if she was the devil herself. She tried not to react to the threatening glares but she did move a little closer to the commander nonetheless.

Lexa met with one of her generals getting a short update on the status of breaking the camp. They would be ready to depart in a few hours and would leave directly to march on the Skykru’s camp.

The commander swiftly decided that there would be enough time now to put in a training session with Marie.

Anya’s return seemed to have fuelled the girl’s will to fight and Lexa noted improvements with silent satisfaction. The girl still did not stand a chance at actually beating Gustus but she started to manage to at least dodge or parry some attacks. Marie was still fighting without enough tactic and was giving away her movements before she made them. Against a completely unskilled opponent the girl might stand a chance to get some hits in but as most of her warriors were highly skilled Marie still needed a lot of training.

“Enough” Lexa called after Gustus had beaten Marie effortlessly more than ten times in a row.  She unbuckled her shoulder pauldron and laid it down next to the training pit.

“Watch my movements, Marie” Lexa ordered and shooed the girl to the side taking a fighting stance opposite of Gustus.

Even though Gustus was much stronger and heavier in built they were both aware that the commander could beat him in hand combat relatively easily. She had learned early on to make her slight built and the agility it offered one of her main suits. Marie would need to acquire this fighting technique for herself as well if she ever wanted to stand a chance. The girl was still young but she would physically never match up to most of the warriors even if she might still grow to be tall Lexa highly doubted she would ever be this muscular.

Marie was gingerly rubbing the elbow she had landed on a few times and was sure that tomorrow the arm would mostly be blue from a huge bruise. She watched on as Lexa danced around Gustus always eluding his swings with minimal quick movements.

After a few minutes without any serious hits Lexa stepped back and turned back to Marie “What do I do differently to you?”

“You always get out of Gustus reach quickly before he gets an actual hit in” Marie answered. The girl noted that even though Gustus and Lexa had both fought for several minutes neither of them seemed to sweat and their breathing did not seem elevated. Marie herself in comparison had broken in a heavy sweat under the light armour she wore and she highly doubted she could ever move as fast as Lexa did so effortlessly.

The commander re-buckled her shoulder pauldron and nodded to the girl “Correct, we need to work on your agility. You may never be able to match up in pure strength only.”

Marie let her shoulders drop dejectedly before Lexa continued “But only very few battles are won with strength only. You will need to learn to analyse your opponents’ movements and how to utilize their strength against them.”

The girl nodded in understanding starting to understand why both Lexa and Anya seemed so keen to have her watch other warriors fighting against each other.

Looking around TonDC Marie noted that most of the tents that had occupied the village were already dismantled so they would probably begin their march soon.

“How far is it to Skykru camp?” Marie asked as she had no idea where exactly the space ship had fallen she only knew that it was not extremely far away from the drop ship the 100 had fallen to earth in.

They had not trained for very long Marie estimated from the sun that it was still a few hours until midday.

“We will arrive after sunset” Lexa answered as she guided them back from the training pits to TonDC’s communal hall as her tent would have already been dismantled by now as well.

Her orders had already been followed and Anya lay on a pellet of furs in the communal hall guarded by two of her personal guards. Alira was waiting for the commander there as well.

“Everything is working in frame, heda” the handmaiden reported “The first groups have left two candle marks ago.”

Lexa nodded and looked at Anya “Will she be alright on a horse?”

Marie looked at the commander with confusion on her face. How should Anya ride if she was still unconscious?

Alira nodded her face grim “Yes, the wounds have not bled again”

Lexa dismissed her with a nod and turned to Gustus “You will take Anya with you on your horse”

The burly man nodded in acceptance and motioned the guards next to Anya to bring her body outside so that they could help him mount. Lexa had considered having Anya brought along in a cart but it would slow them down considerably and they would have needed to leave earlier in order to arrive at the Skykru camp at sundown. They would have also needed to take a longer route to their destination as part of the forest they would travel was hard to navigate even for horses alone. Leaving Anya here was also out of question as no healer would remain in TonDC.

“You are going to ride with me. The path is too bumpy for such an inexperienced rider” Lexa proclaimed and Marie just nodded. The girl would have liked to ride on her own but she trusted the commander’s judgment and she did not want to slow them down or fall down when she overestimated her abilities.

The commander just shortly listened to different reports from scouts. It seemed that Jaha had reached Skykru and delivered her ultimatum to his people. The scouts had heard that the order had been given to pack everything and be ready to depart.

Lexa wasn’t sure if she should be disappointed that Skykru seemed to take the easy alternative and flee and in that way rob her people of their claim of blood or if she should be relieved that Skykru seemed to leave without further bloodshed.

They would still move into place nonetheless, as commander she knew how quickly plans could change and she would not blindly trust the word that Skykru would leave her lands willingly.

After the last scout was dismissed Lexa motioned Marie to follow her outside where her black mare was already waiting for them. Gustus was also already mounted and had Anya’s unconscious form leaned against his chest on his hazelnut mount.

Lexa mounted her mare first and lifted Marie in front of her in the saddle keeping her arms lightly around the smaller body for now. That way she could easily take a stronger hold on the girl when the terrain became harder to travel and navigate her horse more easily.

Their group consisted only of a hand full of other warriors as most of her army travelled on foot and had already started their march hours ago.

None of the warriors showed any outward reaction to the commander sharing a mount with the sky girl and Marie let herself relax and slightly leaned against Lexa’s chest.

“You can rest if you want, Marie” Lexa offered in a soft tone and pulled the girl’s body flusher against herself to have a better hold on Marie.

Marie nodded mutely and let herself be lulled into sleep by the constant movements of the horse underneath her and the sounds the horses’ hooves made on the forest ground. She could also lightly sense Lexa’s strong heartbeat and her rhythmic breathing that calmed her down even more so that it did not take long for her to fall asleep completely.

Lexa tightened the hold her arms had around the slackened body of the girl and felt Gustus disparaging glare on herself.

“It is unbecoming of the commander to cuddle a mere second not even from our clan” the guard muttered under his breath sullenly. They were far enough away from those travelling with them so that the others could not have caught his words or Gustus would not have spoken so openly at all.

Lexa just huffed softly and rolled her eyes at the man “She is still a child and unaccustomed to our ways, Gustus”

“A warrior should not let his guard down so completely on the way to battle” Gustus grumbled back.

Lexa looked down at the sleeping girl in her arms. The girl’s face had completely relaxed and she looked almost peaceful this way and the sight warmed her heart in a strange way “It is a sign of utter trust to let your guard down completely around others.”

“Mmpphh” Gustus just huffed as a response and tightened his own grip on Anya’s body as they started to get on more difficult terrain.

Lexa just smirked at the man’s obvious irritation with her letting the girl getting this closely to her but the girl had started to grow on her irrevocably.

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi together,  
> hope you are all having a great weekend. As I had some time to write, I thought to give you the next chapter earlier =) The one following this is the first confrontation between Lexa and Clarke *exited*  
> I guess I will update pretty quickly again. Some chapters do not contain much action but are rather needed to set some relationships etc. I hope I am not overly boring you all with them.  
> Cairlinn
> 
> Previously in chapter 31  
> Lexa returned to her tent after a sleepless night filled with duty. Anya still had not woken up and Alira forced some broth into the unconscious woman. The army in TonDC has started to move into place towards the Skykru’s camp. Lexa and Gustus had a short training session with Marie and they make their way to the Skykru’s camp on horseback. Gustus is displeased to note that Marie and Lexa seemed to have grown closer.

Chapter 32

They were still moving when Marie woke up again a few hours later. Lexa slackened the hold she had had on the girl’s body when she woke and body retention returned to her.

Marie blinked her eyes a few times to adjust to the darkness surrounding them. She had gotten better with seeing in near darkness but she still wondered how all the grounders seemed to be able to see perfectly well in the dark.

Her grey eyes immediately sought out Gustus who had been riding next to the commander. Anya’s body was still slack so Marie gathered that the woman still had to regain consciousness. From her perch in front of Lexa Marie was unable to assess if Anya was still breathing.

Lexa and Gustus both noticed the girl trying to check on Anya as soon as she had opened her eyes.

It was Gustus that answered the silent worry in a gruff voice “Anya is still breathing”

Marie nodded relieve clearly written on her face and she softly said “Thank you” to Gustus. The burly guard just nodded and stared ahead of them.

Lexa was fighting back a smirk from her face. It was obvious to her that Marie was starting to grow on Gustus as well despite as much as the man apparently tried to fight against that.

The commander had met Gustus very early on in her time as a novitiate. He had been a warrior in the village Anya had brought her into. Both had been part of her education and trained her in fighting skills. The man had always been rather gruff with her but underneath the façade she knew that Gustus had cared for her as person as well instead of just the next potential commander to lead them. She had also shared some training with one of Gustus’ daughters, Sierra, who was still on a patrolling mission around the Skykru camp and would probably report to her when they arrived at their camp.

She had come to trust the warrior so much that directly after her ascension to commander she had called Gustus to be her personal guard. The man had gladly taken the offered vocation and she knew he would protect herself until breath left his body. Sierra had quickly moved on in the ranks in the army but she was a born scout but she often resided in Polis with the commander as they shared a deep friendship.

After a few minutes Marie picked up on repeating bird calls “I did not know there were that many birds in the forest.”

Lexa smirked and answered simply “There are not”

Marie scrunched up her brow “Then why are there so many bird calls?”

“Our warriors use them as communication” Lexa offered with a pleased note in her voice.

Tilting her head to the side Marie listened more closely to the sounds around them “How do you know when it is not an actual bird calling?”

“You cannot detect a difference?” Gustus asked from his horse.

Marie listened again and then shook her head her face still showing her concentration to notice differences in the bird calls.

“You are not born from the trees, but you will learn” Lexa commented simply. The Trikru warriors had developed this art of communication a few years back. It gave them a clear advantage fighting in the trees and communicating without detection. Just as Marie was unable to tell the difference between an actual bird call and the ones emitted from hidden warriors clans not so familiar with the trees were also unable to distinguish between them.

Marie would need to learn this form of communication as soon as she would be included in scouting missions and Lexa already though about tasking Sierra with teaching the girl this particular skill. But there were many different ways to communicate without detection utilizing your surroundings. The girl would learn them even though she would probably need a few weeks to recognize the patterns and to school her hearing.

The rest of the way passed without any complications and Marie still felt slightly tired. The unsteady pattern she had gotten to sleep in the last days confusing her body and mind.

Marie at first did not even recognize they had arrived at the camp the army had started to erect. The warriors were all working in complete darkness and now that she knew what to look for Marie could even see that some tents had already been erected and she thought she might see the outline of the commander’s big tent slightly uphill.

And that was exactly the direction in which Lexa and Gustus steered their horses. When they had gotten a slight distance uphill Marie could see the illuminated silhouette of the Ark in the distance.

“That’s not the whole Ark” Marie told Lexa “The Ark was at least five times this size.”

Gustus and Lexa shared a silent glance before Lexa answered “So there might be other parts scattered somewhere else?”

Marie shrugged her shoulders. She had no idea how the Ark had come down to earth and Marcus and Thelonious had not spoken about other parts of the Ark.

“I don’t know, but I guess it is possible” Marie hypothesized while Lexa brought her horse to a stop in front of her tent.

Three younger warriors immediately approached them. Two helped Gustus by taking Anya’s body off his hands so that Gustus could dismount.

The third received Lexa’s reins and Lexa dismounted in one fluid motion. The commander held her arms up to help Marie down the big animal.

The commander motioned to one of the guards around her tent to give “the signal”. Marie had no idea what signal that might have been until he mimicked another bird and the warriors closest to the Ark started to light up torches they had been carrying.

Marie swallowed thickly because of the mighty picture the army must form for Skykru. It did not take long until shouts from the Ark could be heard. So Skykru had noticed their appearance. Marie silently wondered how they could have been oblivious to a whole army building camp around them even through the darkness they should have noticed something was off. Additionally Marie thought that Lexa was correct, no matter how many guns the guard from Skykru might actually have they would not be able to win against this huge army outnumbering them so greatly.

The girl followed Gustus and Lexa into the commander’s tent and saw that the guards had already laid Anya down onto the commander’s bed. Alira entered the tent carrying another bowl of broth and again forced the broth into Anya. Marie watched her intently the whole time and thought that Anya might look the slightest bit less pale already.

In the meantime Lexa was listening to the progress of the camp Indra reported on. Everything had gone according to plan and Skykru apparently had not detected her army until the torches had been lit. Lexa had to agree to Indra’s notion that Skykru were obviously like helpless children in many ways. But she knew how dangerous even children could become when they were frightened and had the means to protect themselves. Those fearing for their own lives and those they loved with no way out tented to be the most dangerous.

That was why she had decided to march on Skykru even though it seemed as if they wanted to flee from her lands. If there was no need for an attack tomorrow at dawn then they had at least done some military exercises and made sure that the smaller villages in the vicinity were protected.

She dismissed both Alira and Indra and sent Gustus to stand guard at the entry of her tent. Lexa already felt the anticipation of tomorrow’s potential battle flooding through her veins and felt strangely antsy.

The commander removed her swords from her back and unbuckled her shoulder pauldron and laid the heavy peace of armour on one of the tables in the tent. Marie had also shrugged out of her coat and laid it down on a stool in the corner.

Marie thought that the commander looked relatively tired as well but her bed was still occupied with Anya and when Lexa ordered her to lay down again to get some more rest Marie answered “You should try to get some sleep as well”

Lexa glared at the impertinent girl lightly before she saw that the girl just wanted to be considerate again and offered “We can lay down together”

So they squeezed under Marie’s fur together. It was a bit cramped but they both fell asleep soon. It would not be many hours before dawn and they would either attack or retreat.

The guards scattered around their camp had the clear orders to wake the commander as soon as there were news so Lexa could afford to get some rest now as long as it was possible.

Cuddled tightly against Lexa Marie’s dreams were thankfully peaceful and they were woken shortly before first light by a guard announcing that Sierra and Indra wanted to come by shortly to make a report.

Lexa instantly woke up at first sounds from the guard outside her tent and entangled herself from Marie who was slowly waking up as well.

The commander ordered one of the guards to fetch Alira for her to re-braid her hair as some had become loose in sleep. Lexa hurriedly washed up and was in the process of applying war paint to her face when Alira entered with a tray of light breakfast.

The woman handed a mug with steaming tea to Lexa and motioned for the commander to sit on a stool to be able to reach her hair.

Alira opened all the braids and gently combed out the thick brown locks before she started to re-create the intricate design the commander usually wore.

Marie had also washed up and slipped the boots back on her feet and stepped back from behind the curtain into the main area of the tent.

The girl greeted Alira with a soft smile and the handmaid nodded back at the child and motioned for her to take some of the food from the tray. Marie sat down on a chair in the other corner after taking a few thin slices of dried meat and started to chew on the dried food.

After Alira had finished with Lexa’s hair she checked on Anya and forced some more liquid into the woman and lastly checked if Marie’s hair was presentable still and was dismissed afterwards.

Lexa firstly called Sierra into the tent. Marie had so far not met the young warrior and was a bit surprised to see the stranger react so distrustfully to her. The woman had dark long braided hair and dark eyes that seemed to gleam murderously at her for a moment before she focused her attention on Lexa. The commander also wasn’t pleased to note Sierra’s reaction to Marie but let it pass for now only listening to her short report. The scout and her group had been tasked with watching the woods surrounding the Ark and the woman reported that no one had passed by them. Lexa furrowed her brow as this direction would have been most likely taken by Skykru to leave her lands. But the commander just nodded and dismissed Sierra. She could see Marie relaxing again after the scout had left them alone.

Indra was called into the tent just as the sun was starting to rise as Marie could see through the material of the tent and Sierra had left.

“Heda” the general greeted with a reverent nod.

Lexa answered with her own curt mute nod and sat down on her throne.

Marie threw a chirped “Morning” in from the side which Indra did not dignify with an answer at all.

Lexa wondered why the child was obviously in such a good mood but focused her attention on Indra instead.

“Heda, Skykru has not left in the night” Indra reported her hand gripping the hilt of her sword.

Lexa clenched her teeth in silent anger. The commander could see the smile on the girl’s face being frozen in place and the grey eyes widening.

“I thought they wanted to leave” Marie said in a small voice looking almost dejected.

Indra glared at the girl for a second “Obviously they changed their plan”

Lexa had taken a dagger from a sheath on her thigh and was twirling the blade between her fingers.

“The warriors await your command, heda” Indra said in a meaningful voice.

The commander merely nodded as a response. She had hoped to circumvent an actual attack by marching on the Skykru camp. The girl’s words still ringing in her ears. Marie was right, they would suffer heavy losses if she made her army attack. The commander was sure she would be victorious but would the price be too high in the end?

Before Lexa actually said anything shouts could be heard through the camp of the army.

Someone from the Skykru camp was approaching and demanded an audience with the commander.

Lexa jutted her chin out she would have to give whoever was on their way to approach her credit for bravery. Gustus shortly stepped into the tent asking if the invader should be killed or allowed to past.

Marie watched as Lexa continued to play around with the dagger in her hand contemplative for a few moments before her green eyes set on Gustus and she said in a dangerous voice “Let them pass."


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, like promised the next one, without much delay =)
> 
> Previously in chapter 32  
> Lexa and a small group of warriors made their way through the forest to the Skykru camp undetected until they light torches directly in front of the ark. Marie learned that Trikru warriors have developed a communication system that is undetectable in the trees if you are unfamiliar with it. In the morning Indra reports that Skykru has not left and Gustus announced that someone from the camp demands on audience with Lexa. Lexa decided to grant them the audience.

Chapter 33

Marie listened on as Gustus spoke to whoever had demanded an audience “If you so much as look at her the wrong way I will slight your throat.”

There was no response from whoever was with him and then the tent was held open by Gustus.

Lexa had positioned herself almost relaxed on her throne. Her legs crossed over each other and she lazily spun a dagger on the tip of her index finger not even looking up from the dagger to see who had entered the tent.

To Marie’s utter surprise it was Clarke who had demanded an audience. Marie scrunched up her brow. Sure Clarke had had authority over the other delinquents but with return of adults from the Ark she had thought that surely one of them now held the power in Skykru camp.

Marie could see that Clarke had some wounds on her face as if she had recently fought with someone and she could see that the older girl was desperately trying to appear calm and brave. Her blue eyes widened almost comically when Clarke spotted Marie standing next to Lexa’s throne she had obviously not expected to see the younger girl here or ever again.

“You’re the one who had burnt three hundred of my warriors alive” Marie could see the commander only looking up after she pronounced the last word.

“You’re the one who sent them there to kill us” Clarke answered almost accusingly.

Lexa pushed the tip of her dagger on her throne with a clinking sound and asked “Do you have an answer for me, Clarke of the sky people?” The commander silently noted that the blonde girl obviously had courage and she held her place even under her glare.

Clarke instantly replied voice even “I have come to make you an offer”.

Lexa subtly shook her head and answered with a determined tone “This is not a negotiation”.

 _“Let me kill her and get this over with”_ Indra interjected from the other side of Lexa’s throne.

Lexa just lazily held up her hand to silence Indra’s offer and Clarke spoke up again “I can help you beat the mountain men”.

Lexa took the blade back between her hands caressing over the steel “Go on”.

“Hundreds of your people are trapped inside Mount Weather in cages. Their blood is used as medicine” Clarke explained with conviction in her voice.

“How do you know this?” Lexa questioned in a steely voice.

“Because I saw them. My people are prisoners there to” Clarke continued “I was one of them”.

“Lies” Indra spat from the side “No one escapes the mountain”.

“I did” Clarke claimed “With Anya. We fought our way out together.”

Marie barely was able to bite her tongue before she said anything at the mention of Anya.

“Is that so?” Lexa questioned her eyes drilling into Clarke’s. It sounded as if Clarke was not aware that Anya had made it back to them then.

Clarke put a hand in the pocket of her jacket and made to grab something from it. All the guards around Lexa also made a grab for their weapons ready to defend their commander.

Marie watched as Clarke retrieved a piece of a braid from her jacket and had to fight hard against the instinct to check on Anya’s hair if there was a braid missing.

“She told me you were her second” Clarke said and stepped forward and gave the braid to Lexa “I am sure she would want you to have this”

“We don’t know it’s hers” Indra said. All occupants of the tent beside Clarke were aware that Anya was still lying unconscious on the commander’s bed. Marie looked at Lexa in confusion wondering silently why the commander did not tell Clarke that the woman had made it back.

 _“Be quit Indra”_ Lexa commanded. So Marie remained quite as well. Lexa must think to gain something from not telling her about Anya now.

“Anya was my mentor before I was called to lead my people” Lexa told Clarke in an even voice and laid the braid down on the armrest next to her “Did she die well?”

Marie saw that the commander had not looked directly at Clarke when asking after Anya’s death and waited with baited breath for Clarke’s answer.

“Yes” Clarke simply said “By my side. Trying to get a message to you”

Lexa looked back at Clarke. Marie had been able to see a flash of annoyance in the commander’s eyes before she redirected her gaze to Clarke and had them carefully blank again.

“What message?” the commander asked.

“The only way if we want to safe both our people is to join together” Clarke declared in a confident voice.

“Those who are about to die will say anything” Indra interjected again and Marie had to silently agree with her. All of them were aware that Clarke had just outright lied Lexa in the face. But maybe the older girl was just unaware that Anya had survived, but then the question would be why she had not helped the injured woman?

“I am still waiting for an offer, Clarke” Lexa spoke with finality in her voice. Her patience was obviously running thin.

“The mountain men are turning your people into reapers” Clarke said “I can turn them back”

“Impossible” Indra snarled _“Commander, I beg you let me kill her.”_

“I have done it with Lincoln” Clarke declared with urgency in her voice as Lexa raised her brows.

Indra marched towards Clarke gripping her sword “The traitor is the reason my village was slaughtered by your people …”

“Indra” Lexa tried to call Indra down but the woman was too enraged to listen.

 _“Enough”_ Lexa loudly commanded and stood up from her thrown while Indra was glaring daggers at Clarke.

Lexa moved from her throne right in front of Clarke and stared her in the blue eyes searching for truth in them “You say you can turn reapers back into men”

“Yes” Clarke nodded.

“Then prove it” Lexa snarled at the other girl “Show me Lincoln”

Marie could see the blonde girl swallowing heavily but she nodded nonetheless and she did stand her ground against Lexa’s stare without wavering.

Gustus led Clarke out of the tent by her arm.

“Commander with all due respect it could be a trap” Indra tried to convince Lexa not to listen to Clarke’s words.

Lexa looked contemplating for a moment before she turned to Marie “Do you think your technology could do something like that?”

Marie shrugged with a helpless expression “I don’t know what reapers are exactly and I am no doctor. But I know that the ark had different medical technology than Trikru possesses.”

“We will go with Clarke and observe Lincoln. Removing the reapers would weaken the mountain considerably” Lexa proclaimed after another moment of silent contemplation.

Indra huffed silently but nodded and left the tent to wait with Gustus and Clarke and to gather more guards to accompany them. Lexa had to admit that Indra might be correct and Clarke could be leading them into a trap but she would not go unprotected.

“Why haven’t you told her of Anya?” Marie asked in a low voice the question still on the forefront of her mind.

Lexa smirked at the girl “To judge honesty in your opponent is always important and having more information can give you an advantage later.”

Marie nodded silently biting at her lips trying to make sense of the words.

“Come” Lexa ordered having decided that the girl would also be accompanying them.

Lexa surveyed the group who was going to guard them. Beside from Gustus, Indra and Marie, six additional warriors were waiting. Their faces all hidden beneath different masks, she recognized Sierra under one of them.

The commander nodded and motioned Clarke to proceed them and lead the way towards where they kept Lincoln.

They did not speak with each other on the way. Marie soon recognized that Clarke was leading them towards the drop ship and her heart sped up a bit. She had not been to the drop ship since she had separated from the other delinquents to follow John into the forest.

The reports about the battle had clearly said that the delinquents had made the drop ship emit flames that burned the warriors outside of the drop ship. Marie was afraid what such a place would look like now. The scene had been manufactured in some of her nightmares through pure imagination already.

It did not take them long to reach the drop ship and Marie’s fears were confirmed. The earth around the drop ship was black with soot and bones and skulls of the burnt warriors lay scattered in front of the drop ship.

Marie could see all of the warriors clenching their teeth at the sight while Lexa looked around with an almost mournful expression in her green eyes.

Clarke had picked up on the oppressive mood and directed in a slightly shaky voice “This way”.

Marie dearly hoped that there were no armed guards waiting for them inside of the drop ship as she had also thought that the location might be almost perfect to use as a trap.

Lexa just swallowed and followed Clarke with the others into the interior of the drop ship.

Clarke climbed up the ladder up to the second part of the drop ship first followed by Gustus and then Lexa.

The first things Marie registered after stepping from the ladder was Clarke looking slightly shocked. Octavia kneeled next to Lincoln who appeared to be dead and was crying while Bellamy obviously tried to comfort his sister. Marie recognized Clarke’s mother Abby Griffin shaking her head at her daughter with a desperate expression.

Lexa surveyed the situation for a moment before she gave a nod to Indra and simultaneously pulled Marie behind herself to shield the girl’s body.

“I’ll kill them all” Indra snarled and unsheathed her sword in sync with the other warriors just as Bellamy took up the automatic gun lying next to him on the floor and raised the weapon aiming for Lexa.

All of them froze in place as nearly everyone was the aim of one weapon or the other.

“Please” Clarke started to intervene trying desperately to calm the situation “You don’t have to do this”

“You lied” Lexa accused seething “And you are out of time”.

In an obviously last effort Abby made a grab for a shock stick lying on the floor and shocked Lincoln with it two times before the man started to breathe again and opened his eyes.

Clarke looked as surprised about the fact that it had worked to revive Lincoln as Indra and Lexa did.

Octavia had crawled over to Lincoln and he whispered her name.

Lexa sheathed her own weapon again. No healer from their people had ever managed to cure a reaper so far. Reapers were unable to talk so that the warrior was coherent again was enough evidence to know that whatever Skykru had done had indeed worked.

Clarke looked more relieved than she should have been if she had been as sure this would work as she had claimed before.

Abby just now seemed to really look around the others who had come with Clarke. Her eyes widened when she recognized Marie.

“Marie?” she asked disbelief clear in her voice “Marie Matthews?”

Marie stood a bit taller and nodded mutely standing up next to Lexa instead of behind her now that the threat was obviously gone for now.

“We had no idea you were still alive” Abby spoke still clearly amazed and Marie did not like the way Abby looked over her form and took in her clothing and hair with disdainful eyes.

“She is a child from the Ark” Abby directed her words to Lexa purely now “As chancellor of the Ark I demand you hand her and Marcus Kane over back to us”

Lexa would have nearly laughed the impertinent woman in the face but just fixed her with a challenging glare “You will get the one you call Marcus Kane back upon my return to camp”

“And the girl” Abby continued again “You cannot keep her against her will!”

Indra and Gustus were both already gripping the hilts of their swords. Not one of their generals would have presumed to talk with the commander in such a way.

“Marie is no concern of yours any longer” Lexa simply said “Her place is with Trikru now”

Marie let out a breath she had not noticed to hold that the commander was backing her here. She had not even been aware that she was still slightly afraid that the grounders would cast her out at the first opportunity.

Abby seemed intent to say more but Clarke stopped her “Mom, enough”

Lexa looked between both of them for a moment before she gave Clarke a short nod and motioned for her warriors to leave the metal contraption.

“You will accompany us to our camp, Clarke” Lexa told the blond woman.

Abby opened her mouth again “Clarke is not the chancellor of us”

Lexa returned her gaze to Abby and stared her down for a moment “Clarke was the one asking for an audience so she will be the one hearing my requirements for a truce”

“It’s ok” Clarke told Abby and motioned to the commander to proceed her and that she would follow shortly.

Abby obviously wanted to talk again to Marie so Lexa ordered the girl to climb down the ladder in front of her so that she efficiently blocked contact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am always happy when you leave comments.  
> But please do not offend each other in them.  
> This is just a story I write for my own enjoyment so no reason to get angry at each other =(


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go =)  
> The next one will finally be where Anya wakes up ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 33  
> Clarke had demanded to get an audience with the commander and Lexa listened to her offer. She claimed to be able to cure reapers and that she had done so with Lincoln. Clarke handed back Anya’s braid to Lexa obviously thinking that the woman was dead. Lexa and her warriors see for themselves how Abby revived Lincoln and she summons Clarke to the army’s camp to hear her requirements for a truce between their people.

Chapter 34

Marie was internally grateful when they finally left the drop ship behind them and walked back to the camp of the army.

Clarke followed the commander and her warriors silently. Lexa was also silent and thought about what she needed from Skykru to satisfy her warriors’ thirst for blood. Skykru had slaughtered 18 innocent villagers and that could not go unanswered.

She hoped that the Sky people would understand the difference between vengeance and justice. From what Marie had told her about “floating” Lexa had gathered that Skykru were not unfamiliar with death penalty. There could be no lasting truce between their people before justice had been served.

The walk back towards the army’s camp was quick and quite. Lexa’s warriors nodding with a reverent “Heda” when they saw her return.

The commander led Marie and Clarke into her tent. Gustus had taken post at the entrance of the tent and Indra had left to be with her warriors.

Marie followed both Lexa and Clarke and took position slightly behind the commander waiting for a command on what to do.

Clarke also waited for Lexa to begin to speak not sure how to begin peace talks.

“Lincoln’s recovery was …” Lexa said and waited for a moment as if searching for the right word “impressive. No one has ever survived such a fate before”

Marie could hear how genuinely pleased Lexa was with the fact that they now could save reapers and silently she wondered if the commander had lost people she cared about to that fate before. She had heard from Anya that nearly all the grounders who lived in proximity to the mountain had lost someone in their families to the mountain over the years.

“It’s not complicated really” Clarke answered “You just have to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system. I know we can do the same for others.”

The blonde’s words resonated with conviction although Marie thought saving Lincoln had been more dumb luck than anything else.

Lexa nodded and looked contemplative for a moment before she spoke again in a slightly softer voice “You may have your truce.”

Clarke looked genuinely relieved to hear the words spoken out loud and thanked the commander.

Lexa’s face turned harder again “I just need one thing in return”

“Tell me” Clarke said promptly sounding sure that she could do whatever the commander might ask of her. Marie had a suspicion as to what Lexa would ask for. If she understood one thing about the grounders it was that Finn would not come out of the whole ordeal unscathed. 

Lexa’s voice turned steely again and she fixed Clarke with her strong eyes “Deliver me the one you call Finn.”

Marie could see Clarke pale at the words.

“Our truce begins with his death” Lexa finished with finality in her voice. Marie knew that no matter what else Skykru might offer it would not be enough to appease the grounders.

Clarke looked at the commander with wide eyes obviously searching for anything in her green eyes that might give her a chance to sway the fierce leader. But Lexa held her stare impressively. The commander knew that she could not relent on that condition as her people would see her as weak if she spared the murderer’s life. As commander Lexa was sworn to do everything to protect her people and bringing them justice belonged to her duties.

Marie thought Clarke looked as if she was lost for words and tried desperately to come up with something to say. Before Clarke could find the right words to plead for Finn’s life Marie could hear a slight coughing noise from behind the curtain were Anya was still lying.

The commander had also heard and ordered to Gustus _“Escort Clarke back to her camp. Sent two riders with her to wait for the murderer”_

“You will go back to your camp and hand over the one you call Finn” Lexa said to Clarke her eyes blazing accentuated by the coal around her eyes “If your people refuse to give the murderer up there will be no truce and I will call war on your camp at nightfall tomorrow”

Gustus had stepped up behind Clarke and gripped her biceps to direct her out of the tent the blonde looked at the commander with pleading eyes “Commander, please…”

But Lexa nodded to Gustus and he forcibly dragged the young woman from the tent.

Marie waited until Gustus had dragged Clarke out of the entrance of the tent and hurried behind the curtain to the bed.

Anya moved slightly under the furs and her face was distorted in a grimace as she was in pain.

“Is she waking up, Lexa?” Marie asked with worried grey eyes. The girl would have liked to take Anya’s hand again but she did not want to startle the woman or restrain her movements.

The commander motioned for another guard outside the entrance “Fetch Alira”

Lexa was also intently observing Anya as they waited for Alira to appear “It would appear so”

Marie looked up at Lexa having kneeled down next to the bed and saw the commander’s green eyes flashing with worry as well.

The handmaid arrived only a few moments later slightly out of breath as if she had hurried to reach the commander’s tent.

The older woman shooed Marie out of the way and Lexa pulled the girl in front of her own body by her shoulder so that she would not obstruct Alira’s reach at all.

Marie felt herself relax despite her excitement at the strong physical presence of the commander behind her.

Marie and Lexa watched how Alira checked Anya’s temperature and inspected the gunshot wound. She also laid her hand on the other woman’s throat to feel her pulse.

“The wound is healing well” Alira said to the commander “Her pulse has grown stronger again. It won’t be long until she wakes”

Lexa nodded and dismissed the handmaid again. There was no use in having her wait at Anya’s bedside as well. She was sure Marie would want to wait until Anya finally woke up anyway.

Night had fallen around them and Lexa knew that there would be no more training with the girl tonight. She highly doubted that Skykru give up their murderer quickly. Nonetheless she would let her warriors erect a tree for his execution now.

“You can stay with her” Lexa told Marie who flashed her a grateful smile. They had discussed previously that as a second it would be expected of her to be at the commander’s site at all times but Lexa still had to organize her official appointment.

When Anya woke they would need to discuss how to deal with the fact that Marie now officially had two mentors. She had declared that she would take on the girl as a second so she would need to keep her word now.

Depending on what Skykru chose to do now Lexa already planned to have Marie officially initiated into Trikru the day after the murderers execution. Now that Skykru’s chancellor had already declared her intention to get the child back it was even more important to carry out the initiation as soon as possible.

Lexa swept out of the tent closely followed by Gusts.

“Two warriors wait in front of the Skykru’s gate for the murderer” Gustus reported and Lexa nodded although she doubted that their wait would be effective.

Marie had taken to kneeling next to Anya again. The woman had started to wreathe under the furs as she tried to get away from invisible restraints and was muttering something unintelligible under her breath.

Feeling utterly helpless without anything to do to help the woman Marie was feeling completely forlorn. After a few minutes of watching on helplessly as Anya clearly suffered Marie hesitantly laid her hand over Anya’s who had started to claw at the furs over her furs.

Instantly when her skin made contact with Anya’s hand her brown eyes shot open. Marie reeled back in shock as Anya nearly shot upright in a sudden motion.

Her brown eyes were widened and filled with absolute horror and pain and she seemed unable to really recognize her surroundings.

“Anya?” Marie hesitantly tried to get the other woman’s attention.

Anya’s brown eyes instantly snapped to her and she blinked a few times finally able to really see. Anya’s mind had been filled with total panic when she woke and could not recognize where she was.

The furs around her body felt as if something was restraining her and as she shot upright a blinding pain resonated in her abdomen. The woman gasped and her breathing was exhilarated but as she felt the furs under her fingers her mind instantly registered that she could not be in the mountain nor in Skykru’s camp.

Her mind flashed with memories and the last moments she could remember clearly came back to her. She had clasped arms with Clarke from Skykru and wanted to depart to find the commander and try to negotiate peace between both her people.

“Anya?” Marie asked again in a shaky voice with tears gathering in her grey eyes. The woman was frightening her with her uncharacteristic behaviour.

Anya closed her eyes for a moment as more memories came back to her and when she opened them again she found the worried eyes of her second looking back at her.

“Yes” she rasped through a painful throat. Her throat was sore and dry and her voice gruff from disuse for an unknown time.

“Oh Anya” Marie choked out through her tears now flowing down her cheeks as her relieve overwhelmed the girl at finally seeing Anya conscious again.

Anya tried to calm her rapid breathing and tried to push the memories of the mountain and the horrors she had seen there to the back of her mind and painfully rasped out “Water…”

Marie instantly jumped up “Of course” and in her haste she nearly tripped over her own feet which earned her an almost amused sounding snort from Anya.

She poured a cup of water from a jug on one of the tables and hurried back to the bed where Anya was slowly and obviously painfully lowering herself back onto the furs. In her hurry Marie slushed some of the water over the rim of the cup and onto her clothes but she barely registered that.

Annoyance flashed in Anya’s brown eyes when Marie held the cups to the woman’s lips and refused to let go of it intent on helping the woman.

 “Go and get the commander, Marie” Anya said in a strained voice after she had drained the whole cup awfully slowly. As thirsty as she still felt Anya would have liked to drain the whole jug but she knew that she would no good to her body that way.

Thankfully Marie nodded and instantly stood up with only a short glance over her shoulder as if to make sure that Anya was still awake and she had not just imagined everything.

Anya tried to let her body relax against the furs. Now that she was alone in the tent the memories forcefully pushed back into her mind.

Although her skin felt cleaned of the mud the woman still felt her skin crawling from the treatment she had been subjected to by the mountain men. Anya clenched her jaw almost painfully and forced herself to think of something else wondering where exactly they were and how much time might have passed since she was shot.

Gingerly she felt over the bandage covering the wound on her torso. The wound hurt and the feeling of being shot flashed through her mind. She had never experienced a pain like that so sudden and surprising in its intensity.

Carefully Anya tried to move her limps and noted relieved that she had control over her limps even though she felt strangely week and heavy. Her fingers looked almost spindly against the furs as they seemed to have thinned and she was not as gaunt as she felt.

She wondered if Lexa had had her army attack on Skykru already or if there was still a chance to work with them to bring an end to the mountain.

It took Marie some searching through the camp to finally locate the commander. Thankfully none of the warriors tried to approach her although she was aware that most of their eyes followed her every step.

Lexa heard the muttering of her warriors before she saw the girl hastily approaching her. The commander dismissed the general she had been speaking to and went to meet the girl halfway.

“She’s awake” Marie hastily reported to Lexa and barely refrained from taking the commander’s arm and hurrying her back to her tent.

Lexa smirked and motioned the girl to proceed her “Then hurry along”

As commander she could not be seen running through the camp like the child could and she watched on with amusement as the girl scurried back obediently while Gustus who had accompanied her just rolled his eyes.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, another chapter. Extra quickly for you guys ;)  
> And Anya is finally awake and coherent again. I still think it is a shame they killed her off in the show so quickly. Her character has such great potential...
> 
> Previously in chapter 34  
> Clarke hears from Lexa that they are required to hand Finn over for the truce to start. Marie is with Anya when the woman finally wakes up and demands to speak with the commander.

Chapter 35

Marie had hurried back into the tent and the noises she made in her haste startled Anya who had begun to fall back asleep.

The woman’s wide brown eyes searched the tent for a few moments before she realized that Marie alone had woken her.

“Where is the commander?” Anya asked in a tired voice.

“She’s coming” Marie reassured the woman and kneeled back down next to the bed. Her grey eyes were searching Anya’s face intently.

They did not have to wait long for Lexa to arrive. Gustus stayed outside of the tent to stand post at the entrance.

Marie could see relieve flickering through Lexa’s green eyes when the commander saw Anya awake with her own eyes.

“I am glad to see you awake again, Anya” the commander said and her eyes were swimming in emotion. Lexa knew that their relationship had been strained in the last years. After Costia’s head had been delivered to her bed she had finally heeded Titus’ advice and sent those away that still held personal ties to her. Anya had not been understanding of her decision to ban her from her personal council and sent her to a small village near TonDC and the woman had seen the order as a punishment Lexa was sure of that. The commander had not seen her former mentor for some time before the Sky children fell from the sky and reports called her to TonDC. Lexa had expected their interactions to be strained with undissolved tension as she would not apologize to Anya for her decision. It was actually Marie who had made them reconnect effortlessly and Lexa had already decided to revise her former decision and call Anya back into her inner circle in Polis if the woman regained her health.

Anya looked genuinely surprised at the admission but nodded mutely her eyes softening for a second.

“What happened to you?” Lexa asked and Marie could see the woman’s demeanour changing as if she hardened herself.

Anya inhaled deeply and closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them again Marie found that they were gleaming hard like polished stones in the candlelight in the tent. The woman seemed distant somehow as she recalled everything.

Anya told the commander how Tristan had led them into battle at the crash site of the Skykru children. Lexa could hear the bitter tone in Anya’s voice as she mentioned that she had lost command to the other general. The commander hoped that her former mentor would understand that it had not been a personal decision. Anya continued how suddenly reapers appeared and when they had dealt with them and gotten closer to the metal contraption the children had fallen to the ground in, they started to close the door.

“I had been closest to the door as it started to close” Anya recalled her eyes far away “So I jumped onto it and climbed into their metal thing.”

The woman related how she had been overpowered by the Skykru children after they had made flames erupt outside. Marie could see a shudder coursing through Anya’s body as she recalled how the warriors outside had screamed burning alive. Lexa had clenched her teeth in silent anger knowing that there would be no retribution for the death of the 300 warriors that had burnt.

Anya told them that the Sky children had taken her headband, coat and swords from her before leading her outside. The woman was not sure what had happened then exactly. She knew that mountain men had appeared but they had thrown strange metal thing at them that emitted red smoke.

“When I woke” Anya narrated her features becoming stone hard as well “I was chained by the mountain men and they dragged me through the reaper tunnels. I tried to fight but it was in vain. I was hauled into a strange room. There were grids as a floor and I wasn’t alone there.”

The woman told the commander that she had seen people from most of all the clans within the mountain. Mountain men in their strange suits had ripped the clothing from her body and literally scrubbed her clean from head to toe.

Marie glanced at the commander when Anya described the process of how they were cleaned by the mountain men and saw a blazing fury in the green eyes while Anya’s eyes remained carefully blank. The girl herself was feeling cold all over and bile was rising in her throat at the images Anya’s words conjured in her mind.

The procedure sounded awfully painful and extremely humiliating. It sounded as if the grounders were no better than animals for the mountain men.

Lexa listened on in silent horror as Anya described the room where she had been caged together with almost 300 other of their people.

She described how the mountain men would come into the chamber, shock one of them and inject them with something which made them sleep. The sleeping grounder would be hung upside down and their blood flowed in pipes in the wall.

“How often have they done this to you?” Lexa interjected the narration for the first time.

Anya shrugged “Three or four times I think. It would not have been much longer before they would have discarded me.”

Marie inhaled sharply feeling her heart squeeze painfully at the thought of losing Anya forever.

“The mountain men would take the strongest once first” Anya continued her eyes distant again “The room was heavy with the suffering of our people. Many were almost dying and they threw their bodies away like waste.”

Marie could see Anya’s brown eyes blaze for a second before they muted again.

The woman continued her narration with how the blonde Sky girl had found her in the room and freed her from the cage and how they had fled together. She told them about the tracker in her arm and how she had simply bitten it out, how she had fought with Clarke and how she had been shot when she wanted to depart from Clarke in front of Skykru’s camp.

“I don’t know how I actually got here” Anya ended with a heavy exhale the events of the past days fully registering in her mind.

Lexa looked down at her former mentor and was truly just glad to see the woman alive. She knew that she should not care on a personal level for the general and heard Titus’ voice in her head repeating how love was weakness. But in this moment she could not be happier to see the woman conscious again and hear her voice.

A short glance to the girl still kneeling next to Anya and how pale and drawn she looked the commander understood how much Anya’s tale had shaken her.

“Have Skykru approached you?” Anya asked with guarded eyes. She was unsure of her standing with the commander. She had lost command over her unit before the actual attack but she had nevertheless been with Tristan when they had led 300 warriors to their death.

“They have” Lexa answered simply and told the woman how she had posed as a servant girl. A fleeting ghost of a smile flittered over Anya’s face at that. When she told Anya of the meeting with Clarke and how they had cured Lincoln from the reaper drug surprise was evident on her face.

“So there will be an alliance?” Anya asked a faint flicker of hope in her eyes.

Lexa huffed also filling her in on the assassin in one of the villages close by and the eighteen people that had been slaughtered.

Anya’s lips thinned “I don’t know if we can trust them. They were blindly shooting into the forest at everything that moved.” The woman thought that Clarke had obviously been lucky as Lexa had not mentioned that the blonde had also been shot. She distantly remembered the Sky girl shouting for her while she staggered into the tree line and the girl was hauled away by Skykru.

Lexa nodded as she had wondered the same already. Looking down on Marie she knew that there might be some people trustworthy among Skykru but obviously most were not to be trusted.

“Do you think we need them to get into the mountain?” Lexa asked. Anya was the only one to ever escape the mountain alive so she would be best equipped to judge that. 

Anya looked surprised by the question and Lexa surmised with a flash of regret that the woman obviously thought to have lost the commander’s trust.

“We are no match for the tech the mountain men wield” Anya said slowly as if she was unwilling to admit the fact that they might truly need the Skykru.

The commander nodded with a thoughtful expression “They will have their truce after the murderer dies.”

Anya nodded and Lexa recognized how tired the other woman looked.

“Go and get something to eat for us, Marie” Lexa softly commanded and the girl sprang into action immediately. Lexa had wanted to speak with Anya for a moment in private.

As soon as Marie had left the tent Lexa crouched down next to Anya and when the woman tried to sit up she put a steady hand on her shoulder to keep her down.

“I am truly glad to see you alive, Anya” Lexa said her voice soft and her green eyes expressive “When you have regained your strength, you will lead our warriors into battle with the mountain at my side.”

That was the closest Lexa would come to actually apologizing to Anya but the commander could see in Anya’s brown that she understood all that she could not say out loud. Anya held up her arm and the commander gripped her forearm with her own in a warrior’s grip and they silently nodded to each other in acknowledgement.

On a certain level Anya understood how hard it was for Lexa to let even her see more than the façade of the commander. But the woman still remembered the small and skinny thing Lexa had been. The child had always been spirited and Anya had helped groom this woman into the commander she now was and she was deeply proud of the woman she had grown up to be.

“It would be my honour” Anya answered with a heavy voice and let go of Lexa’s arm.

“So you have taken the girl as your second now?” Anya asked with a slight teasing in her voice. Of course she had asked the commander to look after Marie should something happen to her but she had never expected the commander to actually take over her duty.

Lexa nodded “Of course”

The conviction in Lexa’s voice told Anya more than any words could have that she had never truly lost the commander’s trust otherwise Lexa would not have been willing to take Marie as her second. Anya still remembered how Lexa had mourned the loss of her first second and how she had been unwilling to ever take over a new one.

The train of thought made Anya realize that she did not possess any of her clothes she had worn to battle anymore. Tris’ braid had been in a pocket on the inside of her coat and she wondered if the mountain men had already burnt it. She wondered how her eyes started to burn as she thought of the piece of braid burnt to ashes just as her second’s body already was.

“What is it?” Lexa asked worry laced into her voice.

Anya exhaled forcefully against the lump in her throat “Tris’ braid had been in my coat”

As the woman’s voice trailed off Lexa understood the meaning. But she remembered that Anya had mentioned that the sky children had taken the coat so it was a distinct possibility that it was still there together with her sword.

“It may still be in your coat” Lexa mused and Anya seemed to remember that her coat had not been in the mountain and hope flickered in her eyes.

Before either of them could say more Marie barged back into the tent loudly. The girl tried to balance a stack of mugs, a big jug and two plates somehow. Lexa immediately stood back up and took some of the things from the child’s hands before she let fall all of them.

“You could have gone twice, Marie” Anya reprimanded from the bed and the girl smiled innocently as the only reaction.

Lexa just shook her head in amusement and distributed the food evenly between three plates. She handed one to Marie and brought one over to Anya pushing it into her hands with a forceful “Eat. You need to regain your strength quickly.”

Marie had set down cross-legged across from the commander’s bed and after a few moments of silent eating the girl blurted out the question that had been on her mind “Who’s second am I now?”

The commander could see a flash of regret flicker through Anya’s eyes so before the older woman could answer Lexa beat her to it “You will be a second to the both of us”

Anya blinked at the commander confusion obvious on her face. Sharing a second was unheard of so far.

“I have already proclaimed to take her as my second” Lexa explained to Anya “So it will happen. But a first whose fight was supposedly over to return has never happened so you are also still her first as well”

Anya wanted to answer how a commander’s claim on a second would always overrule a general but Lexa shook her head with a gentle smile.

“I have already made my decision Anya” Lexa reassured her and glanced at the girl who seemed happy enough at the news “We will figure out how that will work specifically on a later point”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> So here is the next chapter =)  
> Hope you like it. I am having my intermediate exam of my PhD thesis tomorrow and I am sooo nervous -.-   
> So I had to divert my attention to some writing instead ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 35  
> Anya has woken up and narrated her experiences in the mountain to the commander. Lexa proclaimed Marie to be a second to both of them from now on.

Chapter 36

After the meal they shared Anya fell asleep quickly.

Marie looked at the woman worriedly and Lexa reassured the girl “Her body needs rest, Marie. Sleeping is the best thing for her at the moment.”

After another glance at Anya Marie nodded seeing the logic in the words. She already thought that Anya looked the slightest bit less pale.

Lexa stepped out of the tent to Gustus “Still no word from the Sky people?”

The bulky guard shook his head “The warriors posted to wait for the murderer have not returned yet.”

The commander clenched her teeth angrily. The logical side of her knew that they would most definitely need Skykru’s knowledge of the mountain men’s technology if they ever wanted to lay waste to the mountain once and for all. But she was also aware that her people would not stand for an alliance if justice was not served. It would be her own blood that would be spilled if she ignored their claim for blood. Indra had already made it clear that the woman would not stand for an alliance before they got their justice. Lexa knew that Indra would not stand alone to doubt her if she sided with Skykru now and she could not afford that.

“Has Marcus Kane already been released to return to his people?” the commander asked. She had not been specific in the instructions on when to release the man.

“No, heda. A guard holds him in a tent waiting for command” Gustus answered.

Lexa nodded mutely thinking for a moment but disregarding her idea for the moment instead she said “Have Sierra sent to me”. Gustus nodded in acceptance and left to fetch his daughter.

Marie had looked up wonderingly at Lexa as she never had heard the name so far. When Lexa saw her charge’s gaze locked onto her she simply said “I told you that you would need to learn the communication systems our scouts are using. Sierra is best suited to teach you.”

Marie’s grey eyes lighted up minutely at the prospect of learning this particular skill. She had been fascinated with intimating bird calls and other sounds of nature for communication purposes. Her slight smile fell when Sierra entered and she recognized the scout that had reacted so mistrustfully to her. The woman completely ignored Marie’s presence and waited for the commander to tell her what she wanted silently.

Lexa ignored Marie’s reaction to Sierra as she hoped that her old friend would get to know her charge better and come to like her with time and said to Sierra “I asked you here to teach Marie your scouts’ language skills. I know you are the best in them.” The compliment was aimed to sooth the obviously discontent scout and Lexa saw the other woman sigh before she said “Is teaching one of them our ways really wise, Lexa?”

The commander glared down at her old friend “I have clearly given you an order, scout.”

Sierra’s lips thinned but she nodded mutely and turned to the young girl. “Then let us begin” she said with a slight grimace on her face. Lexa just shook her head in annoyance and stormed out of the tent leaving Marie alone with Sierra. Fortunately the woman knew better than to disregard a direct order and did teach her the beginning of this communication form. It proved difficult for Marie to learn as she was completely unfamiliar with the different birds and their distinct calls. Marie had no idea how long they had practiced when Sierra suddenly stood up and glared down on her “That was enough for now. Hopefully you will memorize at least a bit” with that the warrior left the tent while Marie just looked at her retreating back in silence. 

A few minutes later Marie could hear Lexa conversing with Gustus at the entrance of the tent.

Lexa nodded to Gustus after she had walked through the camp to assess their numbers and the mood in the camp and said “Have Markus Kane escorted to me now”.

Gustus nodded and strode from the tent while Lexa turned around and re-entered the tent.

Some moments later Marie sat on the floor next to Lexa’s bed and had some parchment placed on her legs. Lexa had given the girl the instruction to practice her writing in Trigedasleng and the girl was focused completely now. Lexa nodded satisfied as it seemed that the girl now was finally able to gather her focus again. They would both need to work with Marie very urgently on that. A battle was always chaotic and the girl needed to learn to keep her focus no matter what. She also needed to direly learn to push her personal feelings away as the child was too easy to read at the moment but Lexa was positive she would learn quickly enough.

Quietly the commander strode over towards the girl and peered down on what she had written so far. Lexa quickly recognized that the girl had made a chart with words and phrases in Trigedasleng and their translation into English.

She bent down and said “Your spelling is incorrect.”

As Lexa pointed at the phrase Marie jumped in her place startled not having noticed the commander approaching at all.

“Always be aware of your surroundings, Marie” Lexa lectured in a mild tone “If my intention had been to kill you, you would not have seen the attack coming”

The girl nodded with slightly widened eyes “How can you move this silently anyway?”

Lexa chuckled slightly “You will learn soon enough”

Marie opened her mouth to add something but Gustus interrupted them proclaiming Marcus Kane’s arrival as Lexa had requested.

The commander straightened up and told to Marie “Continue your practise”

Lexa hoped to actually show the man a different side of them right now with the girl relaxed sitting on the floor and just practising her writing skills.

“Lead him in” the commander called but stayed standing beside Marie.

Markus was lead into the tent by a guard holding him in a vice like grip. The commander nodded at the guard and he let go of Marcus and stepped out of the tent to wait to escort the man back.

Marie had just shortly glanced up at the man but now had her attention focused back on her parchment again.

Lexa could see the man taking in the slightly domestic scene with barely hidden surprise in his eyes.

The man straightened up when he noticed that the commander had watched him in his starring.

“You wished to speak to me, commander” the man offered in a gentle tone seemingly not resentful for the rather harsh way he had been treated with so far.

Lexa inclined her head “I did. Your chancellor seems unwilling to give over the murderer for justice.”

Markus looked away from her for a second clenching his teeth silently.

“Tell me, Marcus of the Sky people” Lexa said her eyes hardening “how would your people have punished a murderer?”

Marcus exhaled rather forcefully before he answered his voice sounding hollow “The boy would have been floated. So executed…”

As the man’s voice trailed off Lexa wondered why the Sky people resisted handing the boy over for his justly punishment if they had proceeded similar with criminals.

“Commander” Marcus started looking back at her with an almost pleading expression “I know that your people deserve justice. But I fear that the chancellor will not hand him over to your justice. I am sure I can convince them to construct a trial of our own for Finn.”

Lexa furrowed her brow for a moment mulling the offer over in her head. She doubted that a Skykru trial would appease Indra and those who shared her opinion but if she as commander proclaimed it to be sufficient she was fairly certain her people would accept that. At least for now that the mountain would deflect their anger from Skykru, Lexa would have to suffer from the repercussion later.

“And your trial would result in the murderer’s death?” Lexa asked returning her gaze to Marcus watching his face intently.

The man nodded “Lesser crimes have been punished with death by us so far. And if that is the only way for a peace.”

Lexa nodded “Your people have until sunup to decide to give the boy up. You will be returned to your people then to offer them a trial on their own.”

The solution was not ideal on many levels but without the boy’s death there was absolutely no chance for an alliance. Many would not like it but Lexa was positive she would be able to handle critics from her own people for now.

“Thank you” Marcus said with an open and honest expression on his face his eyes flashing with relief.

The commander nodded once and called out “Escort Marcus of the Sky people back to his tent and stand guard.”

The guard who had brought Marcus Kane into her tent re-entered a moment later and lead the man out without another word.

Lexa led the tension drain from body feeling slightly exhausted all at once.

Anya’s voice which suddenly resonated nearly made her startle “Was that really wise?”

Lexa turned back to her bed and saw the woman trying to get up into a sitting position and Marie still sitting on the floor beneath the bed looking up at her with worried eyes.

“Speak your mind” Lexa said to Anya. She had always listened to her former mentor’s advice. She had not always heeded it but she still treasured a second opinion.

“Indra and others won’t stand for a simple quick execution” Anya said contemplatively.

“They will when I order it” Lexa bit back through clenched teeth. But Anya had spoken out what she feared might happen. She had the unwavering support of Trikru at the moment but that might change anytime.

Anya regarded her former second with caring eyes “This decision might cost you your life, Lexa”

The use of her name without any title let Lexa turn back to the woman and she nodded with heavy eyes.

Marie had listened to them and had her head slightly cocked to the side “Why would it cost your life?”

Lexa sat down on the unoccupied edge of her bed and explained “As commander I cannot show weakness. Indra and her village demand and deserve justice for their dead. If I decide to finalize an alliance with Skykru without that justice being served to their satisfaction they might proclaim me to be too weak to stand up against Skykru and too weak to demand their rights.”

Marie mulled the words over in her mind for a moment before she furrowed her brow with a frown “But that is dump. You would just want an alliance to fight the mountain which would be easier with Skykru.”

The commander smiled down slightly at the girl “You are correct, which would be why I would make an alliance with Skykru after the murderer gets a Skykru trial, but Indra and many others might still not be satisfied with that. They may not speak up about it until after the war against the mountain.”

“So they would question your decision later on?” Marie wondered loudly.

It was Anya who nodded after a glance to Lexa seeing the woman taking in that this choice could truly cost her life. Anya knew that Lexa would gladly take this risk if it meant freeing them of the threat of the mountain forever. That was why Lexa was such a great commander, she understood the need for sacrifices even sacrifices she herself might need to make.

“Are politics always like this?” the girl asked with distaste clear in her voice.

Both Lexa and Anya chuckled slightly before Lexa answered with an almost weary voice “I fear so. You always balance on a swords edge. One wrong move and the sword will be used to cut you down.”

“I hope they give Finn up” Marie proclaimed with conviction blazing in her eyes. Lexa regarded the girl with a slight smile warmed by the care the girl obviously now held towards her wellbeing.

“We shall see in the morning” Lexa said.

Darkness had fallen outside of the tent and Anya offered to return to another tent to make Lexa’s bed available again.

But Lexa refused telling her that her tent still had to be erected and she would just sleep on the floor with Marie again.

Anya looked on dumbfounded as both Marie and Lexa got ready to sleep and Lexa let the girl cuddle up to her with a content expression on her face.

Lexa only glared at Anya from the floor with a glare that promised murder if she so much as breathed a word of this to anyone when she caught the woman still staring at them.

It did not take any of them long to fall asleep. But Anya waited until both of them had fallen asleep to glance down at her former second and her current second with a gentle expression.

The night passed without any disturbance which also meant that the Sky people still had not given over the boy.

Anya painstakingly got up from the bed and made some weak steps through the tent under both Lexa’s and Marie’s watchful eyes. It was clear Anya was still not well but that she was awake again and able to walk at all was more than Lexa and Marie had hoped for days ago.

Anya seemed more annoyed than anything else at the weakened state of her body and let herself sit down on one of the stools with a groan.

“Patience” Lexa admonished from her throne “You are breathing and alive. Healing will take as long as it takes.”

Anya obviously had to bite back a sharp retort at the words. She had been the one to utter those words to Lexa many years ago and now knew how unhelpful they actually were. If anything they incensed her impatience with herself even more.

Chanting had broken out in the camp when Marie had been sent to collect them breakfast.

_“Blood must have blood”_ was repeated from all warriors and created a daunting atmosphere in the camp.

Marie shivered slightly and hurried back to the commander’s tent after she received some food.

Lexa and Anya stood at the entrance of the tent and both were looking out onto the camp as two riders approached the commander.

“We have a message from the Skykru chancellor” one said through his mask “They are unwilling to give up the boy and are ready to fight if it comes to that”

Lexa clenched her teeth angrily and nodded to them to dismiss them. Anya and the commander shared a silent worried glance and she issued the command to silence the chanting.

She would grant Marcus Kane his chance to convince the chancellor now.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> I would really appreciate it, if you take a minute to leave a short comment now and then ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 36  
> Lexa talked to Marcus again who offered a Skykru trial for Finn to achieve the alliance between their people. Anya, Lexa and Marie talked about what such a decision might cause for Lexa’s life. Skykru have not delivered the boy and Lexa is forced to take up Marcus’ offer.

Chapter 37

Lexa and Anya both were tense throughout the meal they shared in the commander’s tent. Marie had picked up on both of their moods and purposefully had her eyes fixed on her plate.

Lexa itched to march into Skykru’s camp and to haul out the boy by herself. She had hoped these people would have more sense of honour. If Skykru chose to have the boy put to a trial themselves it was Lexa who would suffer the repercussion later on. But now they could just wait if Marcus would be able to convince the chancellor to see reason finally.

Anya watched on as Lexa grinded her teeth nonstop and knows that right now she won’t be able to offer her help in fighting off the tension from Lexa.

Shortly after they had finished eating Alira came into the tent to check on Anya’s wounds and exchange the bandages again. The woman seemed to be satisfied with the healing process but told Anya firmly to take it easy the next days or the gunshot wound could reopen internally.

“We will continue your training” Lexa declared in a clipped tone after Alira had just stepped out of the tent. Anya nearly winced in sympathy for Marie and wondered for a second if she should call off the training for Marie. She decided against it and struggled to get up and follow them instead.

“You should rest, Anya” Lexa barked out while strapping on her swords.

“And you should not train her in this mood” Anya muttered under her breath while Marie tried to be as invisible as possible.

Although Anya’s words had been spoken very quietly Lexa had picked them up just fine. The woman huffed in annoyance with herself. She knew that her former mentor was right and would not be fair to use the girl as an outlet for her frustration with Skykru. Lexa knew that Marie still stood absolutely no chance in combat training against her so as to not harm her by accident in her current mood Lexa sent a guard to retrieve a bow and a quiver.

Anya had feared to be met with open hospitality after she was the only one to return from the lost battle with the Sky children. But to the woman’s amazement the opposite was the case. Many warriors bowed to her in acknowledgment and silent honour.

“You are the first to escape the mountain, Anya” Lexa said to the woman lowly “That far outweighs the shame of losing a battle” Anya just nodded silently but felt touched nonetheless.

Indra approached them on their slow way towards the free place where Marie could practise with the bow.

“So Skykru have not handed over the boy” the dark skinned warrior seethed through teeth clenched in anger.

The commander merely nodded.

“When will we march on them, commander?” Indra asked with hard eyes her fingers around her sword.

“Not now, Indra” Lexa told her in a calm voice “Marcus from the Sky people is speaking with their chancellor”

Indra’s lips thinned and her eyes glinted dangerously but she kept silent knowing better then to question the commander even more.

“Keep your eyes on the woods” Lexa relented “If the boy leaves the safety of their camp, capture him”

The woman nodded immediately obviously appeased for the moment.

“Let’s hope they are dumb enough to let the boy flee” Anya said contemplatively.

That was actually what Lexa was hoping for at the moment as well. She knew she would not like the outcome for herself if the boy was executed by Skykru.

The guard she had sent to collect a bow met up with them on an unoccupied patch of free space with trees as a border on which the girl could try to shoot.

Lexa nodded at the guard as a dismissal after she took the bow from him. She tested the bow out for herself for a few moments and shot a single arrow at the nearest tree hitting the trunk perfectly.

Anya sat down on the grass next to Lexa so that she could watch the training and not put more strain on her injury.

The commander handed the bow over to Marie. The girl had once before tried to shoot with a bow but had only had average success. Anya was eager to see if her charge would fare better now that she should be able to concentrate again.

The first few shots of the girl did not hit the tree trunk at all. They were close but they all missed. Lexa made some corrections on the stance the girl had and made her hold the bow much longer so that she could aim far better on the target.

The corrections helped immensely and only a few shots later Marie fired a series of five arrows which hit the tree trunk nearly on the spot Lexa had aimed for before.

Both Anya and Lexa nodded at the girl satisfied with her skill. It was obvious the girl had to have some natural talent with both the throwing knives and the bow to be this good after only a short training period.

“Marie seems to have some natural talent there as well” Lexa commented to Anya while Marie went to collect her arrows.

Anya nodded mutely.

“She might make a good hunter or even a scout” Lexa mussed.

“Yeah” Anya agreed instantly “But she will need to train for sword fighting as well”

Lexa nodded “True, but it is good if she has some skill already and does not have to learn all weapons from the scratch.”

“Will she march with us against the mountain?” Anya asked after a moment of silence.

Lexa opened her mouth and closed it again without uttering a word and spoke only after another moment of thought “We shall see when the battle will take place. As my second or our second she should be at our sides but I will decide if she is ready when the time comes.”

Anya nodded satisfied with the answer. The woman knew that she should not doubt taking the child with them to battle as had always been their way to take seconds to battles as early as possible. But second were normally much younger when they started their training and so the seconds who were as old as Marie was already were experienced enough to go into battle and to prove their skills.

Even though Lexa was feeling a sense of satisfaction while she watched the girl train her skills with the bow it did not help her one bit to dissolve the tension she was feeling. The commander had started to tap the hilt of her sword with her finger tips in a nervous gesture.

Anya was watching the younger woman from the corner of her eyes from her position on the ground while Marie had her difficulties to get the arrows out of the tree trunk again.

Anya smirked as the girl failed to extract the arrow Lexa had shot at the beginning. The child had put that much strength into the pull of the shaft that she nearly fell over when the arrow did not budge and her hands lost her grip on the smooth wood.

As Anya found the sight of the girl amusing Lexa rolled her eyes in slight annoyance. In a few quick strides the commander had went over to the tree bunk and pulled out her dagger.

“Watch” Lexa barked at Marie losing her patience with the girl who looked at her with a sheepish expression.  The woman cleared away some of the wood from the tree around the arrow so that it was easy to pull out afterwards.

She handed the arrow over to the girl with slightly more force then necessary and Lexa saw alarm in the grey eyes of the girl. Taking some deep breath the commander tried to push away the annoyance that was thrumming through her veins. She knew that she was not annoyed with the girl herself but rather with the whole situation and Skykru. Anya was right after all, training the girl now had not been a good idea.

Lexa let her eyes gentle slightly “That is enough for now. You can watch me spar now.”

Marie blinked at the young women astonished. Tris had said that the commander rarely participated in the training after she had been called to lead and she was about to be able to watch her again.

Anya had picked up on Lexa’s words as they moved in her direction and slowly got up from the ground again feeling a throbbing pain in her abdomen at the movement. The woman gritted her teeth. She hated injuries with a passion and she normally would ignore them but this injury was more severe and even she had to admit that she needed time to heal before she would be able to fight again.

Lexa waited until Anya had gotten to her feed again knowing that the woman would not appreciate it if she offered her assistance.

Together they went back to the training pits where some warriors were sparring just to get rid of some tension while others were also training their seconds giving last advice on the battle to come.

The warriors instantly saw the commander approaching the pit and respectfully halted their training to make room for their leader. The older warriors all deeply respected Lexa as their commander as most of them had seen the young woman fight in one battle or another. The younger ones of course showed her respect as well as was due to her leader position but they had not seen the woman’s combat skills for themselves. So all seconds were eager to be able to watch the commander fight as well.

“Come” Anya said to Marie and guided the girl to the side so that they would not stand in the way of the sparring warriors with a hand on the small of her back. She took the bow and the quiver with the arrows from the girl and handed them to one of the guards to take them back where they had come from.

A second later Gustus stepped up next to Anya watching the proceedings with a slight frown.

Lexa had stepped into the centre of the training pits and looked around the warriors that had started to gather around her.

“Whoever wants to try their luck” Lexa addressed all of them with a quick glance and twirled the sword in her hand skilfully.

The seconds around the pit were all buzzing with excitement now eager to try to beat the legendary commander. The older warriors just rolled their eyes at their excitement.

 Anya could see Gustus’ frown only deepening at Lexa’s words and she spoke under her breath to the man “Ease up, Gustus. Let her vent of her frustration.”

Gustus did not show any sign that he had even heard the other woman’s words and just watched on as the first second charged at the commander with his swords raised.

Marie also watched the impeding fight and how the commander just waited for the second, a young second Marie guessed to be around fourteen, to make his first strike.

The commander seemed to dance away from the blade aimed at her head and when the young warrior charged again the commander dived under the other’s defence and hit his hand with the blunt end of her sword.

The second let his sword drop at the painful sting the hit emitted on his hand and if the commander had not stopped her next strike in the last second she would have beheaded the teenager without much effort.

The second picked up his sword again with his shoulders dropped slightly and the grin he had on his face as he charged at the commander now completely gone. But Lexa did not show the second any more attention and already had taken a defensive stance again and waited for the next second to charge at her.

It did not take the commander long at all to disarm all of the seconds who had wanted to take their chance with her. Marie noted that the woman did not even seem to be out of breath.

Lexa huffed still feeling the nervous energy buzzing in her veins and twirled her swords again. The commander was rolling her shoulders when Indra took out her sword and faced the commander.

Marie looked at Anya for a second and whispered “Do generals normally spar?”

Anya also had her eyes slightly narrowed and shook her head “Indra is just not satisfied with the commander right now.”

Indra’s fighting skills were definitely a better match to the commander’s skill and the woman’s posture changed from looking almost playful as if they really fought just for the fun of it to circling the other woman with steely eyes.

After a few moments the loud clang of swords clashing against each other resonated through the camp. Marie could see that Lexa really had to concentrate now and the blows she dealt out had much more force to them then they had in the previous fights.

Marie loudly observed to Anya how she was able to detect differences in the fighting style between Indra and Lexa and the woman nodded satisfied that her second was paying attention.

The fight seemed to continue forever. No one actually won the fight as a scout came running to the training pits shouting “Commander, Skykru have moved the boy out of their camp!”

Both Lexa and Indra stopped in their tracks turning to the scout.

The dark skinned woman growled slightly and she looked to Lexa expectedly.

The commander sheathed her sword and hissed at Indra “Gather your warriors and bring the murderer here, Indra”

The other woman nodded and a wolfish grin formed on her face that made Marie’s skin crawl. The general gathered her warriors and left while Lexa returned to her tent hoping that they would get the boy here soon.

The commander hoped that this way they would still get their justice.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 37  
> Lexa is frustrated about the whole situation with Skykru and trains Marie again while Anya watches them. Marie shows some talent with a bow in the training session. Lexa and Anya talk about whether taking Marie with them into the upcoming battle. Lexa spars against some of the seconds in the camp and against Indra when a scout reports that Skykru have moved Finn out of their camp. Lexa orders Indra to capture Finn.

Chapter 38

Marie watched Indra and a few warriors among them she recognized Sierra leave the training pits in a flurry of movements after Lexa gave her command. For her liking Indra seemed to enjoy catching Finn a bit too much. Although she did understand that the village deserved their revenge. From what Marie had heard from Anya about the previous commanders it was even lenient for Lexa to only demand Finn and not eighteen people from Skykru as 18 villagers had been massacred by Finn.

“Who is Sierra?” Marie asked lowly to Anya still standing next to her. Gustus had stood near enough to them to catch the girl’s soft question and answered in her stead “She is my oldest daughter.” Marie’s eyes widened momentarily and she stared at Gustus’ face more closely. Now that she knew of them being related she remembered that the woman had the same form of her eyes and their noses looked almost the same and the way they carried themselves was immensely similar as well. Anya regarded the girl next to her with a smirk as it was obvious the girl was bursting with questions she clearly wanted to ask but Gustus’ involvement had made her hesitant to speak up as it seemed. “Sierra and Lexa have trained with each other for years” Anya said taking pity in the girl’s burning curiosity “She is the commander’s most trusted scout and they have been friends for years before she was called to lead our people.” Marie nodded with a thoughtful expression clearly silently processing the new information and she only spoke up again a few minutes later and so low that both Anya and Gustus had to strain their hearing to catch her words “She does not seem to like me … like at all”. “As a scout Sierra is more distrustful of strangers then a normal warrior” Gustus said and reassured the girl “It is not personal.” Marie looked at the man with a frown on her face obviously not believing his words but she kept silent.

The commander had obviously vented enough frustration for now and sheathed her swords on her back. Anya had a slight grimace on her face and had put a hand over her clothed abdomen right where Marie knew the bandage rested over the gunshot wound. The woman’s breathing was also exhilarated even though she had not moved in some time. Her face looked even paler and she seemed to sweat. But Marie had no idea how to tell the woman she obviously needed more rest without insulting her somehow and she knew enough of their hierarchy by now to know for sure that it was not her place to give Anya any medical advice. Grounders seemed to be all about strength so with so many of them in earshot she would only affront Anya.

Luckily for Marie Lexa had also picked up on Anya’s condition after she had put away her weapons and guided them back through the camp towards her tent. The commander knew that Anya could sometimes be as stubborn as a mule so she would need to order her to rest or she never would on her own. She knew the woman would keep pushing through the pain until her body gave out on her.

On the way through the camp Marie saw the place where the execution would take place when Indra and warriors returned with Finn. A thick pole had been erected on a platform and Marie guessed that Finn would be tied to the pole but she had no real idea how grounders executed criminals.

Lexa purposefully walked much slower than normal to give Anya more time and the fact that the woman had not complained about the slower speed spoke volumes about her pain.

“Go to the handmaiden’s tent and fetch Alira to change Anya’s bandage, Marie” Lexa lowly said to the girl walking between Anya and her. Marie nodded wordlessly and skipped away from them after a final glance at Anya. The woman only looked at her with strained features clearly trying to hide her discomfort.

The handmaiden’s tent was only a slight distance away from the commander’s tent so it did not take her long to reach her destination. In front of the tent Marie saw a young girl she judged that the girl was probably even younger then herself.

“Is Alira here?” Marie asked the girl in a kind voice.

The girl had just looked up and opened her voice when the woman she was searching for walked out of the tent.

“The commander wants you to change Anya’s bandage” Marie said to the woman. Alira nodded and stepped back into the tent to gather a bag with her medical equipment. The girl in front of the tent was staring at Marie with wide eyes but she did not say a word either.

“Come, child” Alira said when Marie was also only looking back at the girl without saying anything. On the way to the commander’s tent Alira commented “Betha is intrigued to see you in person. She had only heard talk at the bonfire about the girl who fell from the sky.”

Marie looked at the woman with a furrowed brow wondering what the people were saying about her.

“You have made an impression on the warriors when you threw the commander’s dagger at the pines” Alira said chuckling slightly. They reached the commander’s tent only a moment later so Marie did not have the opportunity to ask what else people were saying about her.

Anya was standing in the middle of the tent with her arms crossed over her chest looking like a defiant child glaring at Lexa who had obviously just said something to Anya seconds ago. After a few moments of silent staring at each other Anya huffed obviously annoyed and lowered her arms again turning around to Alira. The woman completely ignored whatever had transpired before they entered the tent and professionally tended to Anya. The bandage she removed from her abdomen was soaked with blood and Marie could see a worried frown on the woman’s face at the sight of the wound.

Gently the woman applied a reddish paste on the wound and tightly wrapped a new bandage around Anya’s torso.

“You need to rest” Alira said with emphasis and turned to Lexa “The wound has reopened partly. Without bedrest I fear it will reopen completely.”

The commander nodded with a glint in her eyes that clearly promised she would make Anya rest if the woman wanted to or not and dismissed the handmaid again.

“You heard her, Anya” Lexa said with an unyielding voice and looked pointedly at her bed of furs.

Anya gnashed her teeth with an annoyed expression huffed and pulled her hands up in surrender “But I can rest in my on tent.”

Lexa slightly shook her head and answered in a softer voice and her green eyes portrayed even more emotions then her words expressed “My mind would rest easier if I knew you rested nearby.”

Anya only huffed once and moved over to the furs and lowered herself onto them with an obviously pained grunt. Marie had watched everything with worried eyes and hoped that Anya would heal faster by some kind of miracle.

Lexa motioned Marie over to a table and made her sit down on a small stool. She handed the girl some parchment and started to ask her for translations of certain phrases. Whenever Marie did not know a word or a phrase she would write them down on the parchment to be able to review them on her own whenever she had the time. After some time Lexa told Marie to continue on her own and checked on Anya’s sleeping form. The woman was sleeping peacefully although Lexa could see a slight sheen of sweat on her pale skin and worried that the wound might fester an infection.

“What exactly does an execution look like here, Lexa?” Marie asked looking up from the parchment she was supposed to work on her writing skills on.

“It depends on the crimes committed by the accused” Lexa said and glanced over the girl’s head at the parchment judging how much her charge had already practised. The commander could see the curiosity burning in the girl’s eyes and knew she would need an answer before she would be able to concentrate back on her task at hand so Lexa said down next to Marie and looked her in the eyes with a serious expression on her face. “I am sure you actually want to know how Finn is going to die, correct?”

At that Marie nodded and bit her lips as if afraid of what the answer would be.

“Finn killed innocent villagers who were not even warriors. He killed elders and children without defence” Lexa said gravely “That is one of the worst crimes for us. As he killed innocents his punishment will start with fire.”

“Fire” Marie echoed with a slightly trembling voice. Pictures were already running through her mind of Finn being tied to the poles and burned with torches.

Lexa only nodded and continued “After the fire his hands, tongue and eyes will be removed. If he survives all villagers get their turn with a knife. As commander I would end the execution with my sword through his heart.”

Marie looked slightly green and had to swallow against the lump that had formed in her throat.

“Most do not last until the sword” Lexa finally said “He killed eighteen innocents so he will suffer the pain of eighteen deaths. If death has no cost, life has no worth.”

Marie mulled over the words in her head for a few moments processing the new information.

“How were your criminals executed?” Lexa asked to divert the girl’s thoughts from the specifics of their executions. Only the worst crimes were punished that way.

Marie’s eyes seemed distant for a moment before she blinked once as if to clear her head and answered “We called it “floating”” Marie said “But it was …”

Marie thought for a moment before she continued “…less bloody I guess. Most criminals were floated on the Ark due to the restricted resources. I have seen my father being floated.”

Lexa could see the girl’s body shivering slightly as she thought back on her father’s execution. The commander waited for her charge to continue in her own time.

“A criminal would stand in an air lock” Marie explained and when she saw Lexa’s furrowed brow at the uncommon term she explained further “An air lock was so to say a door in front of the door to space from the ark. When the air lock was sealed to the interior of the ark the chancellor would press a button and a door to space opened. It sucked the body out. There is no air to breathe in space so you suffocate after a few minutes.”

Lexa nodded and thought about what Marie had just told her. It was no wonder Skykru would see her people as savages. They obviously had a completely different attitude towards life and death. Pressing a button was an easy way to end someone’s life. A coward’s way as her people would say. Skykru were in for a rude awakening when they recognized completely how brutal the world was into which they fell.

After a few moments of silence Marie spoke up again Lexa could see the hesitation the girl was obviously battling internally to speak at all “When the execution is over we will have peace with Skykru, right?”

Lexa nodded with a cautious expression unsure of where the girl was going with her question. Much could still go wrong before there would be peace and going to war against the mountain was far away from actual peace. They would have a treaty for the duration of the war preparations and the war nothing more nothing less. Peace would mean a more binding and more stable solution.

Marie continued still hesitant “Maybe Abby could look at Anya’s wound. I know that they have more possibilities to treat such a wound.”

Lexa had already opened her mouth to retort with an “absolutely not” when she actually thought about the suggestion. If they were to have a treaty, why not make use of it that way? So she changed her answer and said “We shall see what happens.”

Marie nodded obviously satisfied that her suggestion had not been rejected directly. The girl returned her attention to the parchment and repeated some of the new phrases silently in her head to better memorize them. Lexa squeezed the girl’s shoulder once and stood up again to retrieve a whetstone from a trunk and pulled another stool from under the table. The commander set down and took both of her swords from their sheaths putting her swords onto the table. Marie admired the swords for a moment still fascinated with the weapons and with the elegance Lexa had wielding them. Lexa started to hone first one blade and switched to the other when she was satisfied with the blade’s condition. She had always enjoyed the soothing monotony of honing a blade on a whetstone. Anya had drilled it into her head from the first moment she had been given an actual blade how important it was to keep your blade as sharp and pristine as possible.

She was able to let her thoughts wander while she honed the second blade. Marie had stopped in her practise and was watching Lexa intently. The commander’s face looked utterly relaxed and the woman did not seem to pay any attention to her hands as if the motion was natural to her.

The short moment of peace was shattered when shouts resonated through the camp. Indra’s warriors were on their way and they had Finn. Lexa let out a breath she had not been of holding while Marie’s heart plummeted into her stomach. Of course she had known that Finn would be executed but knowing what fate exactly waited for the boy made her stomach churn with dread. Silently she wondered how many executions like that the commander had already been witness to and wondered whether she would one day look as calm as Lexa did now with the prospect of another one.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys =)  
> Because I have the next few chapters all already finished and will probably have time on the weekend to continue, here is the next on already.  
> But I definitely won’t be able to post this fast forever ;)  
> Hope you like it =)
> 
> Previously on chapter 38  
> Lexa brings Anya back into her tent and forces her to rest as Alira is worried that the wound has reopened partly. Marie asks Lexa about their execution rituals and is horrified to hear the details. She is afraid of watching Finn’s execution when sometime later Indra’s warriors return with the news that they captured the murderer.

Chapter 39

Anya seemed to be in a worse state then the woman had let on as the loud commotion outside the tent had not woken her from her slumber. Lexa swiftly put her shoulder guard back on and motioned Marie to follow her. Stopping shortly in front of the exit of the tent the commander said over her shoulder “If you are unable to watch, return to the tent. But it would be better if you stayed.”

Marie swallowed against the bile rising in her throat but nodded with a resolute expression. She could not afford to be seen as a weakling by the warriors. The girl had understood that as the commander’s second her actions would be under constant watch from everyone and if she failed it would reflect badly on Lexa and Anya which was something she wanted to avoid as long as possible.

It had gotten dark outside of the tent and the atmosphere in the camp sent a shiver through Marie’s slight frame. The others seemed overly excited with the prospect of Finn’s execution. A never ending chant of _“jus drein, jus daun”_ resonated through the camp and it seemed most of the warriors had already gathered at the huge pole. Marie subconsciously kept as close to Lexa as possible needing the reassurance the young woman radiated. Indra and Gustus were already awaiting the commander at the edge of the crowd of warriors. Marie looked over the crowd of warriors all under their masks and saw the lights from the Ark at the other end of the crowd. In front of the Ark separated from the warriors by a high fence Marie could see her previous fellows. They seemed to have also gathered to watch the proceeding although in comparison to the excitement of the warriors Skykru looked more afraid of what would happen.

Marie did not recognize the other three warriors that stood next to Indra and Gustus. Their armour and their masks were a tad bit more elaborate so Marie guessed that they had to be other generals she yet had to meet. Inspecting the three strangers a bit more in detail Marie detected that one of them was a woman while the others were clearly male. The female general was a bit more lithe than burly compared to her male companions but all of them resonated physical strength in their appearances.

From the other side of the crowd the girl could see two warriors leading Finn in their direction. The boy’s hands were bound and the warriors kept his elbows in a steady grip. Marie felt a sudden flash of compassion for the boy when she saw his barely concealed panic. From what Marie had heard from Lexa and what her mind had added to it the boy was right to be afraid of what was waiting for him. To Marie Lexa looked like the perfect image of calm. The commander’s face was expressionless and she stood tall and unmoving waiting for Finn while Marie herself could not seem to stop fidgeting somehow. At the least the crowd’s chant had finally stopped when Finn was in visual range of everyone.

Movements from the other side of the crowd caught her attention and Marie could see someone hurrying out of the gates from the Skykru’s camp. A path was cleared for whoever was approaching them. Lexa had also noticed the movements but kept her attention focused on the boy her warriors were chaining to the pole at the moment. The commander wondered if the boy might have had a chance on earth if their people had not clashed already but that did not matter anymore. Marie had also returned her gaze to the pole where Finn now stood his eyes looking over the crowd of warriors with fear prominent in them.

Indra suddenly had her spear in hand and pushed its point into whoever had come to them. Marie shifted slightly behind Lexa to see who it was and saw Clarke standing opposite of Indra. Although Clarke was speaking lowly Marie could hear her words well enough “I am here to talk to your commander.”

When Indra did not lower her weapon Clarke seemed to walk into the blade and Marie was pretty sure the other girl was bleeding already from the pressure she put against the sharp metal. The blonde continued through clenched teeth “Let me through.”

“Let her pass” Lexa suddenly said and Indra instantly lowered her spear although Marie could see the reluctance in her eyes. The commander had turned into Clarke’s direction and looked at the blonde for a moment before she shook her head slightly “You bleed for nothing. You cannot stop this.”  After what Marie had heard about what a Skykru execution could potentially mean for Lexa she could only agree in her mind.

“Only you can” Clarke said with emphasis and looked at the commander with pleading eyes “Show my people how powerful you are. Show them you can be merciful.” Marie could see Lexa processing the other’s words and she thought she might have detected a flash of empathy in her green eyes.

“Show them you are not a savage.” Clarke continued in a desperate voice. Marie saw the commander’s frame becoming tense at Clarke’s words and Gustus and Indra shuffled with blazing eyes obviously deeply affronted by her words. Marie knew that Clarke should not have said her last sentence it must have sealed Finn’s fate for good.

“We are what we are” Lexa said with fury evident in her green eyes and her face hard as stone. It was evident to Marie that Clarke was getting more desperate by the second as the other girl must have recognized her failure to sway the commander already.

“I am a killer. I brunt three hundred of your warriors. I slide a man’s throat and watched him die. I am soaked in grounder blood” Clarke continued and Marie thought her voice sounded slightly trembling. Lexa only cast a short glance at Finn and looked back at Clarke her face an expressionless mask.

“Take me” Clarke had started to plead in earnest now. The commander had to silently give the blonde leader credit for her bravery. It was obvious how much the boy must mean to her or she would not offer her own life in exchange. But there was no possibility to take someone’s place in such a punishment, her people would never accept such a thing.

“Finn is guilty” Lexa only answered with a piercing stare. Marie shortly glanced at Finn and the boy seemed to be watching their exchange with watering eyes. He must have been aware that changing his fate was impossible. Marie silently asked herself if the boy might not even think that he deserved the punishment he would get.

“No” Clarke denied vehemently “He did it for me”. Marie could see the blonde’s eyes watering as she repeated in a whiny voice “He did it for me…” Her voice completely gave out on her on the last words.

“Then he dies for you” Lexa said in an even tone and the commander seemed completely unmoved by Clarke’s admission.

Marie could see the hope Clarke had obviously still held onto desperately vanish in her eyes and she let her shoulders sag in defeat. The blonde looked at Finn who had taken to looking at the sky above them and looked back at the commander “Can I say goodbye?”

Gustus and Indra frowned at the question but Lexa seemed to consider it for a moment before she merely inclined her head to signal her permission.

Both of them watched as Clarke slowly went over to Finn and hugged him. They were standing too far away from the pole to hear the words the blonde was obviously whispering into his ears. From the shaking of Clarke’s shoulders Marie was sure the older girl was crying now.

After a long moment what seemed like a small eternity later Clarke finally moved away from Finn with tears streaming down her cheeks. Marie could see Finn’s body had sagged in the chains and his head had fallen onto his chest with a harsh breath she realized that Finn had already died. A small knife dripping with blood laid in Clarke’s hands and it took the warriors around the pole only a short moment before they also caught on to what had transpired.

Outraged shouts could be heard and Indra and some others had already drawn their weapons again and were clearly intending on attacking Clarke. Lexa looked shocked for a slight moment before she pulled her warriors to a stop with a simple gesture of her hand. “It is done” the commander declared in a steady loud voice. The approaching warriors stopped in their tracks but the murmurs of discontent continued.

“Bring Clarke into my tent and stay with her” Lexa said to Marie and nodded to Gustus to follow both of them. Marie complied with Lexa’s orders instantly and stepped up to Clarke hesitantly she touched the older girl’s elbow to get her attention as her gaze had been fixed on the sky above them. Clarke jerked away from the touch but looked at Marie after a moment and her eyes cleared somewhat and she readily followed Marie to the big tent. Gustus trailed after them and stayed just outside of the tent to guard the blonde sky girl should any of their people seek the revenge they had been robbed off.

In the commander’s tent Marie directly went behind the curtain to check on Anya. Anya’s condition alarmed her instantly. Her face looked waxen and sweaty and her breathing seemed laboured and irregular. When she went back behind the curtain to Clarke the blonde had started sobbing and was desperately trying to rub away Finn’s blood from her hands. Marie had no idea what to say to comfort her and the worry for Anya had her agitated as well. Unsure of what to do Marie stepped back to the entrance of the tent which directly alerted Gustus and she hurriedly told the bulky guard that Anya did not look well at all. The man followed the girl into the tent to see for himself if her words were not just exaggerated but the girl had obviously spoken the truth.

“If someone comes in, defend yourself” Gustus said to Marie although he highly doubted her fighting skills would be enough to defend both of them should anyone really try to harm the blonde young woman from Skykru for denying them their rights. Marie bit her lips mutely and nodded watching the man leave the tent with quick strides. Gustus had completely ignored Clarke who seemed to have a nervous breakdown and was still scrubbing at her fingers with a hitching breath.

Marie was still thinking about what to say to her when someone suddenly entered the tent. Afraid it might be an actual attacker Marie drew the dagger from its sheath on her thigh and stood in front of Clarke in a defensive stance. It was Abby followed closely by Kane who had entered the tent and the woman blinked at the young girl clearly in surprise. Marie cleared her throat awkwardly and put the dagger back into its sheath again. Abby immediately went around the girl to her daughter and enveloped her in a strong hug while Clarke started to babble that she had to kill him to save him. Marie swallowed harshly as she had no real idea what Clarke must be feeling right now because she still had to make her first kill. Kane remained standing closely to the entrance of the tent and looked deeply troubled to watch the intimate scene between mother and daughter.

A sudden coughing sound from behind the curtain to the sleeping area of the tent brought Marie out of her dark thoughts and she hurried behind it. Anya seemed to have trouble breathing and Marie felt panic overcome herself. Even though Lexa had not precisely given her permission to ask Abby to look at Anya Marie was well aware that Skykru medicine was superior to what a grounder healer could do and it was obvious Anya was suffering.

“Abby” Marie loudly said when she stepped back behind the curtain. The woman looked up from her position still pressing her daughter’s body close to her own and said “What is it?”

The woman’s voice did not sound angry maybe only tired and resigned. Marie gestured behind the curtain and Abby slackened her hold on Clarke patting her blonde hair a last time before she followed the younger girl behind the curtain.

“She has a gunshot wound” Marie said unsure on what to say at all “Clarke escaped the mountain with her”

Clarke had obviously gathered herself again and had listened to them and joined them behind the curtain “Anya” she said disbelief colouring her voice.

“She escaped with you?” Abby asked her daughter needing confirmation. Clarke nodded with a troubled expression “She was on her way back to the commander to start negotiations for a treaty but a guard shot her. I thought she had died…”

Marie swallowed harshly even though she had already known that Skykru had been the ones that had wounded her mentor it was still like a punch in the stomach to hear it again.

Abby had turned her attention to Anya and had bent down to take a look at the woman feeling her pulse and temperature first and last looking at the actual wound. When she put slight pressure on the area around the wound Anya groaned obviously in a great deal of pain and Abby pulled away saying “Internal bleeding…”


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,   
> here is the next chapter. And I want to ask for some input. I am planning out the next chapters to write and the battle against the Mountain is coming up there soon.   
> How can you imagine Lexa not taking the deal?  
> I am still torn about how to write this. Because on the one hand I can imagine Lexa as a leader wanting to save as many of her people as possible but on the other hand she must have known that her leaving would probably lead to the Mountain Men being able to come to the ground so that they would just have to fight later again ...
> 
> And another thing. Someone proposed to me that I should include Marie having a total rare talent. But I do not want to turn her into a witch or something. Can you think of anything realistic? The suggestion I got there was having her the ability to sing in a way that calms animals...
> 
> Previously in chapter 39  
> Marie watches as the grounders prepare for Finn’s execution. Lexa grants Clarke the opportunity to say goodbye to the boy and Clarke kills him with a hidden knife. Marie escorts Clarke to the commander’s tent and sees that Anya’s condition had worsened considerably unsure of what to do she asks Abby for help.

Chapter 40

The commander followed by Gustus and Indra had just entered in time to catch the last words Abby had spoken. Lexa breathed in deeply she knew that such an injury would probably cost Anya her life.

“But you can save her?” Marie asked in a high pitched voice laced with desperation. Lexa was unable to see the woman’s expression as they had obviously not noticed their entrance yet when the woman answered “Not without an operation…”

As the woman’s words trailed off Lexa cleared her throat loudly to make her presence known Marie jumped away from Abby like she had been caught committing a crime and her grey eyes shown with guilt at having engaged Abby without Lexa’s permission.

Abby and Clarke had also turned to them quickly and it was obvious that Clarke had been crying only moments ago. Her mother’s eyes looked at the commander disparagingly and it was clear to Lexa that they would probably never share common ground.

“You have the equipment to save her?” Lexa asked in a calm measured voice. She had planned to make their way to TonDC immediately but it seems her plans had changed already.

The Skykru doctor nodded with a cautious expression “But only in the Ark and I cannot guarantee her survival. She seems to have lost much blood already.”

“Then heal her” Lexa answered and sat onto her throne looking down on Abby.

“What about the treaty. I will not…” Abby started to say her voice growing louder with each word anger and distrust colouring her voice. Lexa’s lips thinned dangerously. Skykru obviously had no incline to what Clarke had just done. To kill someone before this kind of execution was treason and you would usually take the place of the one you had just saved.

“We will do it” Clarke interjected vehemently standing up to her mother with gleaming eyes “I will do it myself, if you won’t.” Lexa silently wondered why the blonde was obviously determined to save Anya now as she had left her to die before. Indra would not appreciate the delay to her village but that was not to be helped at the moment. The commander only nodded at the girl with an inquiring gaze.

“Treat her” Lexa commanded when no one had said or done anything a few moments later “We will talk later”

Abby gapped at the commander seemingly unused to being treated in such a way but Clarke only nodded and pulled her mother along out of the tent.

It took Lexa only a few minutes to organize everything. Four warriors entered the tent only moments later carrying something resembling a stretcher to transport Anya into the Ark. After a short discussion with Indra and Gustus it was decided that the commander and her most trusted guards would also accompany Anya into the Ark to make sure that no one would move to harm the general while she was unconscious and could not defend herself. Lexa only allowed Marie to also be a part of their little group because the girl was more familiar with the Ark and Skykru. She doubted anyone would really try anything now but as commander she had learnt that you could never be too cautious with a mostly unknown enemy.

Marie herself felt rather strange to walk next to Lexa slightly behind the warriors carrying Anya’s unconscious form through the army’s camp and through the gate of the Skykru’s camp. The part of the Ark that functioned as the centre of the camp loomed in the darkness like a beast made of gleaming metal. People she had once lived with still stood scattered in front of the Ark and nervous whispering broke out among them when the gates were opened for Abby, Kane, Clarke and their grounder entourage. Skykru were eying them suspiciously as none of them had any clue what the commander could want in their camp and some were probably fearing retribution after Clarke had interfered with Finn’s execution. The commander did not spare them more than a short glance over the crowd and Marie could see a certain admiration in her green eyes when she saw the Ark up close. Having lived inside the ship Marie immediately recognized that they only stood in front of a rather small part of the Ark but the grounders probably did not know that.

Stepping into the remaining part of the Ark felt even weirder for Marie. The constant hum of machines she had grown up with was still present so someone had obviously been able to fix the electricity. On their way through the metal corridors Marie felt an awkward sense of melancholia remembering her childhood in those very walls. A glance at Lexa and the warriors that had accompanied them clearly told her that the others felt completely uncomfortable in these alien surroundings. Marie thought that was no wonder as Trikru people were used to the woods and the vast space of nature around them and not the constricting corridors of the Ark were basically every available centimetre had been put into use.

On their way to the medical bay no one dared to approach them. The people from Skykru they encountered seemed absolutely intimidated by the heavily armed soldiers with them. Abby had tried to get them to leave their weapons outside but one resolute headshake in the negative from the commander had been enough to quell her objections. Marie dearly hoped none of the guards would suddenly open fire with guns on them or there would be bloodshed she still wondered how the scouts had obviously been able to kill some Skykru guards without any real losses.

Entering the medical was especially hard for Marie. She had been sure to never see this place again. Memories immediately flooded her mind. Her mother lying on one of the beds with Abby tending to her. Her mother still lying on the same bed as she got thinner and weaker when the medicines failed to work for her. And finally how she had tried to break into the medical bay to get more medicine for her mother who had been released into her own quarters to die. A sudden clicking noise had the girl wheeling around as her mind had catapulted her back into the night she had been caught and thrown into the sky box.

Lexa regarded the girl next to her worriedly. She had seen how the girl got more and more distant after they had entered this place. The commander herself felt her skin crawling with the strange smell the air had and the constant hum was making her skittish. The whole place was making her feel rather claustrophobic and she wondered how Marie and the other Skykru had been able to live in this place and remain sane.

Another young man was already in the medical bay when they entered. The man had an olive tint to his skin, dark hair and kind dark eyes. The man looked baffled when the grounder group entered but it was obvious he was a doctor as he immediately went over to assess Anya after the warriors had transferred her onto a bed Abby had indicated to.

“What happened?” he asked simply and already started to cut away the clothing on Anya’s upper body.

It was Abby who answered “Gunshot wound in the lower abdomen. It was a clean shot the entry and exit wounds have been burnt shut but there seems to be internal bleeding.”

“How long ago has she been shot?” the man asked as he applied some pressure around the wound which made Anya moan.

Clarke was the one to answer now “She was shot by our guards on the night I came back. We were in the Mountain together. The Mountain Men must have bled her a few times as she was physically completely drained when I got her out of the cage. So six days ago.”

The man nodded while Abby had put on some gloves and critically looked at the commander “It would be easier if you just waited outside.”

Lexa’s lips thinned and she mutely shook her head. Abby just sighed in annoyance and together with the man they started to work on Anya firstly giving her an anaesthesia. The commander kept a close watch on what they were doing and when Abby made a cut over the sealed shut wound a copious amount of blood rushed out of Anya. Marie sucked in a harsh breath at the sight and Abby and the man became more frantic obviously trying to find the reason for the bleeding.

For the grounders it looked as if the Skykru healers were actually trying to kill Anya faster as they completely reopened the wound and even enlarged the wound to search for the damaged blood vessels that had caused the internal bleeding. Clarke had stayed beside them and was constantly trying to explain what her mother and Jackson were doing to minimize the chance of the grounders interfering.

It seemed to take both of them a rather long time to spot the teared blood vessels and it took them even longer to seal them so that the bleeding at least slowed. Marie watched the heart rate monitor constantly which still beeped in a rhythmic way.

In contrast to a grounder healer who would mostly seal a wound shut by a heated blade the Skykru healers took needles and thin threads to sew the now larger wound shut and they seemed to be doing several rounds of sewing. Lexa watched that with a raised brow being completely unfamiliar with this kind of healing.

“You cannot sew deep wound in one go. Or the strain on the threads would be too strong and the underlying tissue has to be sewed separately for a normal wound healing” Clarke explained seeing the confusion on the other faces.

Abby and the man seemed to be worried on the strain the severe blood loss would have on Anya’s body telling the commander that the woman might fall into shock which would most likely kill her. The doctor tried to explain that Anya definitely needed a blood transfusion to higher the likelihood the woman would survive the operation. As the anaesthesia was leaving Anya’s body Marie saw that her heart rate increased with each passing second. All the grounders looked alarmed when the heart rate monitor started to beep a shrill alarm.

“She needs more blood” Abby said again with emphasis. As a doctor she had sworn to save peoples’ lives so she wanted the woman to survive it did not matter at the moment that she might be the enemy still.

Jackson had drawn a tiny amount of blood from Anya’s finger to make a quick test for her blood group while Abby injected the unconscious woman with different medicines to try to counteract her still increasing heart rate. She had already hooked the woman onto a fluid injection to get some fluids into the body for the heart to pump but that would not be enough.

“O positive” Jackson said after a minute with a frown on his face. That was exactly the blood type they did not have at hand at the moment.

“What does that mean?” Lexa asked her frown deepening.

Clarkes answered her question in a hurry “You cannot just infuse any blood into anyone. The blood groups have to match. Anya is O positive. So she can only receive O blood as well anything else would cause another shock to the body and kill her. I am AB positive myself so I could not donate blood for her.”

“You can test me” Marie interjected from the side. The girl had no idea what her blood group was. Jackson went over to one of the computers and typed something on the keyboard.

“No need” he told the girl “We still can get into the main databases of the Ark and the medical files were all stored. You are O negative. You can donate for her.” The man seemed to let out a relived breath. It was a very rare blood group so they had luck that Marie matched.

Lexa seemed inclined to interject the procedure but Marie said to her “I want to help her. They won’t take enough blood to make me ill but it might save Anya.” The girl’s grey eyes had shown with determination so the commander had nodded and they all had watched as Abby set the girl next to Anya’s bed and connected them with thin tubes.

It did only take a few minutes to set up everything and blood was already leaving Marie’s body and entering Anya’s. Some more minutes later and Anya’s heart rate was slowly decreasing to a normal level again. When Abby had removed the connections again Marie had wanted to stand up immediately and step back next to Lexa but Abby had forcefully pushed her back into the chair.

“You lost quite some blood. I want you to remain sitting” the doctor told the girl in a strict voice.

“What happens now?” Clarke asked after Abby told them that the night would show if Anya truly survived.

The commander told Clarke unyieldingly “Tomorrow we will talk. There is something that needs to be done before we can talk about peace”.

Clarke seemed to blanch slightly murmuring “I thought we already had peace…”


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys =)  
> Thanks for everyone who left a suggestion =)  
> And here is the next chapter.  
> I will be pretty busy the next few weeks, so I will have to see how much time I will have to continue posting this quickly and writing new chapters.
> 
> Previously in chapter 40  
> Abby and Jackson operate Anya to save her and Marie donates some blood to help her.

Chapter 41

The night proved to be a long one.

Abby and Jackson had kept Anya under sedation so that she could sleep and heal without the added stress of pain to her body. So far the woman slept peacefully and no further alarm sounded so the blood transfusion had done its job. Marie had been put into a bed next to Anya after Lexa agreed that the girl should try to catch some sleep.

It was obvious to her that grounders and Skykru were unnerving each other. Seeing people from both people in such a small room brought out the contrasts between them even more. Kane and Abby clearly had no intention to retire to bed as long as armed warriors were in the medical bay and Clarke seemed intent to stay as long as her mother would in case she would anger the commander and her interference was needed. The warriors all stood scattered around the room still like statues. They had declined the offer of chairs and had even looked offended when Jackson tried to offer empty beds to them. Lexa herself stood between Marie’s and Anya’s bed keeping watch over them and seemed content to just stand there.

That was a strikingly difference as well. It was painstakingly obvious that all the Arkers present were completely uncomfortable with the silence that kept on settling between them. Abby had even tried to get the commander to tell them what was still needed of them right now but the commander just shook her head and repeated that they would talk in the morning. Marie had been with the other warriors long enough to know that none of them talked just for the sake of talking. Grounders obviously did not feel the need to fill every second of silence with constant meaningless chatter. But that made everything they did deem important enough to say out loud even more important. What Marie had also noted so far was that the warriors were much more attuned to the body language of others so that there were silent conversations ongoing at all time. For her it had started to make sense that a warrior could not waste precious breath and lose his focus to meaningless chatter as they had all been trained too well for that.

The unknown of what the commander would demand from them was probably adding to the discomfort the Arkers already felt so the atmosphere in the small medical bay was pretty tense and Marie was grateful when Lexa allowed her to sleep and thus flee the heavy silence.

Marie was jostled from her sleep when someone shook her shoulder some time later. When she blearily blinked her grey eyes open Lexa’s green eyes looked down into hers. “It is time to leave” the commander told her young charge in an even voice. After stretching out her limps slightly Marie sat up and slid down from the bed.

Abby was standing on the other side of Anya’s bed who still lay unconscious with frustration etched deeply into her features. The doctor also looked exhausted so Marie gathered that the night had probably passed and Anya was still breathing as she could clearly see her chest rising and falling again. “You cannot transport her into your camp right now” Abby said in a high pitched voice to the commander.

Lexa just looked at the woman with a determined expression and said “You said she is out of immediate danger. We will not remain longer than necessary.” The commander nodded to the warriors who had carried Anya into the Ark the previous night and they moved to hoist the woman back onto the stretcher. “It is not…” Abby tried again and Marie concluded that this argument had obviously already started while she was still asleep. Gustus and Indra who were both still present looked ready to strangle the Skykru doctor.

“Mom” Clarke intervened from the side in a strident tone and vehemently shook her head. The girl was the only one with any experience to interact with the grounders and knew that her mother trying to dissuade the commander from taking Anya now was not helping them at all. “When will we talk?” she asked instead.

Abby had obviously admitted defeat and stepped back from the bed so that the warriors could hoist Anya up. The commander turned to the young blonde woman and answered “In an hour from now”.

The walk back through the Ark was silent as well. It was obviously still very early as there were only very few guards awake right now. Back in the camp of the army that looked slightly different Marie guessed that at least a third of all of them was awake but no one interfered with their way. Marie watched as the warriors brought Anya into the commander’s tent but something else caught her attention. Guards stood scattered around the place Finn had been mercy killed by Clarke. His body had been removed from the pole and Marie could see someone sitting to a form on the ground which she guessed to be Finn’s body.

Lexa had also seen this and asked a guard next to her tent “Who is that?”

The young man looked over to the kneeling figure for a second before he answered “Raven kom Skykru. She refused to leave the body and we did not know …” The man trailed off obviously uncomfortable.

The commander just nodded and when she saw Alira hurrying to her tent laden with a big tray she stepped inside with Marie trailing behind her. Lexa was relieved to finally be able to get rid of the heavy shoulder guard and long red sash even only for an hour. Marie also shrugged out of the dark green leather coat and helped Alira with the tray when the handmaid entered the large tent.

In the same moment as both of them had started to eat and Alira left the tent Indra, Gustus and Sierra entered. Both women seemed to be angry while Gustus looked more worried. Marie heard Lexa sigh deeply next to her but the commander just continued eating and gulped down some of the warm wine.

It was actually Sierra who seemed to lose her patience with being ignored by the commander and spoke up first “Lexa, you cannot…”

The commander quickly whirled around from her sitting position to face the other woman and they suddenly stood opposite of each other with barely any space left between them and Lexa glared at her friend for her insolence. The other women seemed to shrink under her intensive glare and lowered her head in defeat apologizing quickly and stepping a pace back.

“What is it?” Lexa asked through clenched teeth her patience obviously running thin at the moment.

The dark skinned general looked back at Lexa with an unwavering stare “There is discontent in the army because of what the Skygirl has done.”

Lexa exhaled loudly straightening her shoulders she had feared that reaction but she truly had not foreseen that Clarke would kill the boy out of mercy. But she had seen the girl crying afterwards and she knew that her suffering would be worse than the boy’s might have been as the blonde leader would need to life with what she had done for the rest of her days.

“We need Skykru to face the mountain” Lexa spoke in a clear voice “I did not foresee Clarke killing the murderer or I would have not granted her the possibility to say her goodbyes” The commander seemed to consider something for a silent moment “The murderer will be joined by fire with those he killed.”

Indra did not seem satisfied with that solution “We were owned our justice, commander”.

Lexa nodded with a grave expression “The boy’s blood has been spilled. Not in the way we wanted it but he is dead now, Indra. There is nothing I can do to change that.”

The general also nodded now although she still did seem anything but pleased with the outcome. Sierra also looked displeased but she obviously knew better then to speak up now after she had just overstepped mere moments ago.

Before anyone said anything else a guard outside the tent announced the arrival of the Skykru delegation. Lexa called out to the guard to let them pass and quickly put on her shoulder guard together with the red sash again.

A moment later Clarke entered closely followed by Abby and Kane. All three of them looked weary to be here even though Clarke at least tried to look confident.

Lexa had set down on her throne and Gustus had moved to her right side “Blood has answered blood. Some on my side say that it is not enough. They wanted the murderer to suffer as our tradition demands” the commander said with a carefully blank face.

“But they do not know that your suffering will be worse” Lexa said looking deeply into the blonde’s blue eyes with a slight hint of compassion in her green ones “What you did last night will haunt you until the end of your days.”

Clarke swallowed harshly biting her lips and reverted her eyes to the floor of the tent obviously unable to meet the commander’s piercing gaze any longer.

“Still there will be restitution. The body will be given to the people of TonDC. Murder and murdered joined by fire. Only then can we have peace” Lexa finished her demands in a calm tone.

Abby and Clarke both seemed speechless for a moment so Kane spoke up “No,no. We have done enough. The boy should be buried by his own people” the man said with conviction in his voice.

“Enough” Indra interjected with a taunting voice “We were owed the pain of eighteen deaths, we were owed our righteous kill. My village deserves justice.”

“You do not want justice” Abby spoke up now clearly agitated “All you want is vengeance.”

“You have not seen my vengeance” Indra seethed and stepped closer to Abby her grip on her sword becoming tighter as the tension rose in the tent.

“We’ll do it” Clarke suddenly said in an empty voice “But when it is over we talk about how to get our people out of Mount Weather, all of our people.”

“We want the same thing, Clarke” Lexa said evenly.

“Good” Clarke answered “When do we leave?”

“Now” came the short answer from the commander as the woman stood up from her throne again “Chose your attendants”. Clarke only nodded her hear slightly as a sign of acceptance as Lexa followed by Gustus, Sierra and Indra moved out of the tent.

Marie hurried to stand up from the table she had watched the scene from and followed the commander but she could still hear Clarke and Abby conversing with each other. Abby clearly did not want to obey the condition set by the commander while Clarke simply told her that this alliance had to hold or she had killed Finn for nothing.

When she had caught up with the commander Lexa was already organizing the party that would accompany her to TonDC. After the woman had given her orders to Gustus and Indra they departed to carry them out.

Lexa turned to her young charge and told her “You can try riding on your own this time. We won’t be travelling fast and the terrain is mostly even. Skykru will travel on foot as will some of our warriors.”

Marie nodded and smiled slightly as she looked forward to riding again but her brows furrowed soon after “What about Anya?”

The commander said “She will be transported in a wagon. The war council will meet in TonDC so we might stay there for a while.”

In a distance Marie could see Clarke arguing with Raven who was still sitting beside Finn’s body. Obviously Clarke had gotten her point across as Raven stormed away so that the two grounder warriors could take Finn’s body to wrap it for transport.

It took a shorter time then Marie had thought for everyone to get ready to leave and move to TonDC. She had followed Lexa to the improvised stables and was presented with a hazelnut coloured mare that whinnied friendly at her when she held up her hand for the horse to smell it.

Their party was led by a few warriors on foot followed by a wagon pulled by a black huge horse. Finn’s body wrapped in an orange material lay on it together with Anya buried under some furs and Raven was allowed to also sit down on it because of her hurt leg making it impossible for her to walk this distance. Abby had checked on Anya before they had left adding another fluid transfusion to make her stable for transportation. The doctor had argued that it would be better for the woman to remain behind health wise but Lexa would hear none of it. After the wagon came the Skykru who travelled on foot. Clarke and Bellamy proceeded Abby and Kane and Octavia and Lincoln. Marie had expected some of her companions to greet Lincoln in a friendly manner so the girl was perplexed when no one actually spoke a word to him at all.

After three guards on foot they were riding. Lexa had been right and they were travelling very slowly Marie thought that she could have probably kept the pace on foot easily enough but the hazelnut horse proved to have a gentle nature and she instantly took a liking to the creature. She rode on Lexa’s side who had mounted her white steed and Gustus rode on the commander’s other side. The only other grounder on a horse was Indra who followed behind them together with several others who travelled on foot.

To Marie’s great chagrin Sierra also travelled with them and walked beside her father’s horse. For her it was difficult to imagine them as father and daughter as she had never seen them interact besides in their duties to the commander. It was obvious the woman still had not taken a liking to her and she had felt her eyes on her the entire time when Gustus had helped her to mount her horse in the camp.

“You are awfully quiet” Lexa commented after they had ridden some time glancing at her young charge “But I see that your riding has improved. We shall practice at a faster pace when it is possible.” Marie just shrugged her shoulders and kept her gaze locked on the muddy road ahead of them.

“ _Stop worrying Gustus_ ” Lexa said now turning to her guard and the commander could see Sierra also listening intently “ _Like you have always told me, all alliances are risky._ ”

“ _This is not the same as uniting the twelve clans. The Sky people are different_ ” the burly man answered in a serious voice.

“ _Yeah, they are more like the Mountain Men than us_ ” Sierra interjected with a short glance at Marie.

“ _It could kill our coalition”_ Gustus added lowly with worry evident in his dark eyes.

_“Our coalition, or me?”_ Lexa asked her gaze switching between Sierra and Gustus daring them to answer in an offending way.

“ _You are the coalition, commander”_ Gustus said in a reverent tone.

Lexa looked at his face for a second before she answered in an even tone _“Then do your job and protect me.”_

Gustus just looked ahead of them again and silence settled between them again.

It was when darkness started to fall that the commander called their group to a stop to make camp for the night.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 41  
> In the morning the commander and her group leave the Ark again. Later Lexa tells Clarke about burning Finn’s body in TonDC. Clarke accepts and later they depart together to make their way to TonDC.

Chapter 42

Marie wasn’t able to help much when they started to set up the camp. The only tent that would be erected at all would be one for the commander. The tent was slightly smaller than the one Lexa had in TonDC but it was big enough that Anya had already been laid down on one side and Marie and Lexa could still both sleep comfortably in it.

When the camp had been set it was completely dark and the warriors had lit some fires around the clearing they had chosen to camp in. It was as if someone had drawn an invisible line through the camp. Skykru remained on one side while the warriors remained on the other side.

Abby had come into the tent shortly to look at Anya’s wound again worried that the constant movements of the wagon might have teared some stitches. The woman had been administered with another sedation before they had left but Lexa declined to give her another. So Marie hoped that Anya would wake up again soon just to be sure that she actually could still wake up.

After the long hours in the saddle Marie was relieved to finally feel solid ground under her feet again and Lexa had to steady her for a moment after she dismounted as her legs felt strangely wobbly. The commander had smirked slightly at her and said in a teasing voice “You will get used to the sensation with more practise. Your muscles still need to get used to it.”

Marie had been handed some food to bring to the Skykru and after she had distributed it she heard the exchange between Lincoln and Indra but she was unfamiliar with the word. So when she returned to the fire in front of the commander’s tent she lowly asked Gustus “What does _natrona_ mean?” as she could not see Lexa anywhere.

“It means traitor” Gustus said not looking up from his own food. Marie still looked confused and asked “Why would Indra call Lincoln that?”

Now the man did look up and studied the young girl for a moment. It was evident she really asked only out of genuine curiosity with the need to understand their ways “Out of two reasons. First he had been a reaper and they turn onto our own people” Gustus told her lowly “And he obviously chose the dark haired Sky girl.”

Marie looked over to the other side of the camp where she could make out Octavia and Lincoln kissing each other passionately.

Lexa returned a few minutes later with Sierra in tow. Both of them looked frustrated as if they had just argued with each other and had been unable to reach an agreement. But the commander ordered the scout to do a search through their surroundings to be sure so the other woman left without another word.

When they had both eaten and Lexa wanted to turn in for the night for a few hours of rest Marie was thrilled to note that Anya seemed to wake up. The woman had started to move slightly and it did take her only a few more minutes until Marie could again see her brown eyes fixed on her own.

“It is good to see you coherent again” Lexa said as she stripped out of her armour.

“What happened?” Anya asked in a confused tone and carefully felt at her midriff where a clean bandage rested over her wound.

“You had internal bleeding” Marie immediately answered with worry in her grey eyes “And Abby operated on you and I donated some blood to you.”

Anya’s brows furrowed in obvious silent horror at the mention of the blood transfusion so Marie quickly said “I wanted to…”

Anya nodded obviously still confused and said “Where are we?”

“On the way to TonDC” Lexa said as she had finished undressing and laid onto her furs in tight trousers and a thin top “To burn the murderer’s body along said the murdered. Clarke killed him…”

 The general’s brown eyes widened slightly as she processed the information “That is not good…”

“No” Lexa said matter of fact “But it cannot be helped now. After we burnt the bodies we will plan our war against the Mountain. Rest now, both of you, it is still some distance before we reach TonDC.”

It did not take Marie long to fall asleep that night. The ride had been more exhausting then she thought and they had travelled through most of the day. Even though sleep came easily she did not remain untroubled. Not long after the girl had fallen asleep Lexa was woken by the girl’s constant turning and twisting under the furs. Just as Lexa sat up with a sigh to wake her Marie suddenly said upright with wide frightened eyes screaming “Noooo!” loudly through the small tent.

Her grey eyes were unfocused when Lexa touched the girl’s shoulder to get her attention. Only after Marie had blinked a few times and took in some shuddering breath did her eyes clear momentarily before they misted over with tears.

“Hey” Lexa softly spoke to her young charge as Anya somehow had slept through even the screaming “It was just a dream”.

Marie nodded and while she glanced at Anya’s sleeping form beside her shortly her tears spilled over and she said between sobs “It was Anya on the tree … not Finn … and you said I could say goodbye … I … I killed her …. I …”

“Shh” Lexa softly soothed the girl and pulled her trembling body firmly against her chest. “It was only a dream” Lexa kept on repeating reassuringly as she gently stroked the girl’s blonde hair. After some time the girl had simply fallen asleep again in their embrace and Lexa pulled the girl’s body with her under her furs and closed her eyes again to also sleep for a bit. The rest of the night passed peacefully.

In the morning Marie went into the woods out of sight of the camp to relive herself. She was already on her way back to the camp when she suddenly heard a conversation. Trying to be as silent as possible Marie went closer to the voices and could see Gustus and Sierra obviously in the middle of a heated argument.

“You cannot mean to do nothing, father” the dark haired woman snarled at Gustus who had his arms crossed over his chest. The man shook his head “And what should I do? Heda’s orders are clear. Skykru are with us now” the man said and added more silent “I hope Lexa knows what she is doing…” “Exactly” Sierra answered stepping closer to the burly man “We cannot let something happen to Lexa. The kongeda would fall. Skykru must fall instead”. “No” Gustus emphasized and shook his head “This is not for us to decide. We must have faith in Lexa’s decision.” “You will see, she will fall if we don’t save her” Sierra answered hotly. “Don’t do anything rash” Gustus said harshly to his daughter before he could say anything more Indra suddenly appeared from the direction the camp lay in telling them to come as the commander wanted to move on.

Marie’s thoughts were reeling as she made a short circuit so that she would not come from the same spot Gustus and Sierra would enter the camp. The girl was thinking about whether to tell Lexa about what she had overheard directly or wait until later. The decision was made for her when Sierra and Gustus both were already standing next to the commander.

Anya had obviously also gathered enough strength again to walk as the woman stood beside Lexa as well. Marie smiled widely at the woman when she caught her eyes. Her smile fell slightly when the commander told her that Anya would ride the hazelnut horse for the rest of the way and Marie herself could walk. The muscles on her legs were already sore from the previous day and the long hours riding so she doubted that walking along distances would help with the pain. But when she saw Sierra’s disparaging glare hefted onto herself Marie straightened slightly and just nodded mutely.

She had walked slightly behind the horses for some time with Indra who completely ignored her presence as the path was too narrow to walk beside the horses.  The longer they walked the more her legs started to ache and Marie already prayed that their way would not be long. She was surprised when Gustus slowed his horse some time later to walk beside her and held his hand to her and hoisted Marie into the saddle in front of him saying gruffly with a teasing glint in his dark eyes “I couldn’t bear to watch your suffering any longer”. Marie just huffed mutely but was internally grateful to have the possibility to rest her legs now. Both Anya and Lexa had watched the exchanges with smirks on their faces but they wisely kept silent. Sierra seemed to glare at Gustus once and then slowed her walking pace to walk with Indra from now on.

The rest of the way to TonDC passed in companiable silence and Marie enjoyed watching the nature around them as the sun came out along the way. In front of TonDC Gustus dismounted the black horse and helped Marie down quickly. Lexa also dismounted and waited for Anya to do the same standing close to the general to offer help if needed.

Marie saw that Lincoln who had walked with Skykru had already taken out the knife he carried and put it into a huge basket Gustus had taken from the side and told the other Skykru that they would have to disarm before they were allowed to enter. She watched as Gustus searched the others for weapons and before he was finished Sierra had suddenly stepped up to Raven and pulled out a hidden knife from her jacket.

“All clear” Gustus finally called to Lexa who nodded and proceeded the group into the village. At first the inhabitants of TonDC were happy to welcome back their commander before they saw the other Skykru behind them. Shouts of outrage resonated through the village some were shouting for the death of them and Marie looked at Anya in alarm. The villagers had mostly been friendly to her after she had been with them for a few days and now she did not recognize them any longer.

Suddenly a man stepped in front of Lexa blocking the commander’s path and he loudly said “ _Sky people took everything from me: my wife, my child”_

Gustus firmly ordered the man to step back and let them pass but the man obviously did not want to listen and said venomously “ _Murderers are not welcome here”_.

Lexa had nodded to Gustus who stepped in front of the commander and started beating the man up who obviously stood no chance against the burly guard. Marie watched with frightened eyes and felt Anya laying an arm around her protectively from behind. The grounders did not seem surprised to see the proceedings only the Skykru looked slightly distraught. Gustus kept on beating up the man until Clarke stepped up to the commander and urgently said “Please, make him stop. They will blame us for that too.”

Lexa seemed to consider to a moment before she said “ _Let him live_ ”. Gustus let up on the man who remained on the ground coughing up some blood with a bleeding nose someone went over to help him up.

The commander turned around to face the villagers and loudly proclaimed “The Sky People march with us now. Anyone who tries to stop that will pay with their life.”

Some of the villagers nodded their agreement while others just remained silent. Anya winced slightly when she removed her arm around Marie. The girl turned around with worried eyes fixed on Anya’s midriff “Are you in pain?”

Lexa had watched her former mentor and suddenly stood beside them telling Anya lowly “Rest. You will do me no good if you don’t get well.”

Anya grudgingly nodded and left while Marie watched as people quickly erected a pyre. Eighteen wrapped corpses were propped against the pyre while Finn’s body was placed on top of the pyre.

_“People of TonDC, in fire we cleanse the pain of our past”_ Lexa said loudly while Marie could hear Lincoln lowly translating for Skykru. Marie stood beside Lexa when Gustus handed her a lighted torch. The commander waited for a moment considering something when she called Clarke to her side handing over the torch. Indra, Sierra and the other inhabitants of TonDC seemed less then pleased that Clarke was the one to light the pyre. But their grimaces lessened when Clarke said _“Your fight is over”_ when she finally lighted the pyre. Marie could see Raven crying silently while Clarke looked pale and distraught. Lexa and Gustus in comparison looked perfectly calm.

“I lost someone special to me too. Her name was Costia” Lexa suddenly broke the silence. Marie had stood beside Lexa while the commander waited with Clarke for the pyre to burn to the ground. Marie noted that most of the others had already left the pyre. “She was captured by the Ice Nation, whose queen believed she knew my secrets. Because she was mine …” Lexa’s voice sounded graver then normal even her face did not betray any emotion “They tortured her … killed her, cut of her head.”

Marie swallowed harshly not wanting to interrupt while Clarke said “I am sorry”.

“I thought I’d never get over the pain, but I did” Lexa said.

“How?” Clarke interrupted in an almost dejected sounding voice.

The commander tightened the grip on her sword slightly as she answered in an even voice “By recognizing it for what it is. Weakness.”

Marie had to swallow again and felt the need to comfort the commander somehow but the woman did not pay her any attention at the moment as she had turned to fully face Clarke now.

“What is? Love?” Clarke asked in an incredulous voice as Lexa just nodded as a simple answer. Clarke shook her head “So you just stopped caring about everyone. I could never do that.”

“Then you put the people you care about in danger” Lexa said seriously “And the pain will never go away. The dead are gone, Clarke, but the living are hungry.”

The commander turned away from Clarke leaving her obviously speechless as Marie gauged from her expression and hurried to follow Lexa. She had thought the woman would directly go into the hall where a feast was to be held to celebrate the new alliance. But Lexa went to look who Anya was doing first and Marie silently trudged behind her. Anya was asleep and Lexa turned away from her after a moment.

“Lexa?” Marie approached the woman cautiously not sure if her approach would be welcomed or not. The woman looked at her young charge with a silent question to continue in her eyes. Marie swallowed one before she stepped closer to the commander squeezing her hand once and said with compassionately shining eyes “I am sorry that you lost Costia like that.”

Surprise flashed over the commander’s face for a moment before a melancholic smile settled on her lips as she answered the squeeze on her hand softly “Thank you for compassion. But we need to go to the feast.”


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> sorry, that I didn't reply to any comment. They are super appreciated by me ;) But unfortunately work has caught up with me and I have to work two weeks straigth in addition to writing several extra reports and a publication ... so I just quickly wanted to post the next chapter  
> Just as a quick question. From which countries do you all come from? I was just wondering and being nosy ;) I am from Germany by the way
> 
> Previously in chapter 42  
> Their small party makes camp for the night and Anya wakes up again. Marie overhears a conversation between Gustus and Sierra. The inhabitants of TonDC are anything but happy to see Skykru. Together they burn the bodies of Finn and his victims and Lexa tells Clarke about Costia.

Chapter 43

The feast the commander was giving in honour to the newly found alliance to Skykru took place in one of the old buildings that had remained after the bombs. It was slightly dark but candles and torches had been placed around the room basking it in warm flickering light. Huge tables stood in the middle of the large room and were all heavily laden with a variety of food. Marie was intrigued to see that what looked like a whole pig was put onto the table as well.

She had entered together with the commander and Lexa told her to take the seat next to her so that she sat between Lexa and Gustus. Indra also had a seat on the table as did some others Marie was not yet familiar with. In addition some people under them she recognized Sierra stood slightly behind the table in front of the wall and waited.

Across from them seats had remained empty for their guests and Lexa nodded to one of the guards to signal for Skykru to come when she was satisfied with the setup.

It took the Skykru delegates only a few moments to enter the building proceeded by Clarke who still looked obviously shaken by the events of the last days.

Marie silently watched as Markus offered a bottle with a clear liquid to the commander as a gift of sorts for their alliance. Marie had never gotten any alcohol on the Ark as the consumption had been illegal for minors. But she guessed that the bottle would be containing some form of alcohol as Markus cautioned the commander not to drink too much of it at once. Lexa did not show any reaction to the advice while she could see Marie frowning slightly beside herself and she mentally had to agree with the girl that her people were definitely more used to consume wine and beer on a daily basis then Skykru would be. In some of the feast she had held in Polis warriors had indulged in drinking matches so it was seen as weak not to be able to drink much.

Markus looked genuine in his will to gift something to the commander and Lexa asked Clarke to drink together with her from the gifted bottle. Lexa herself poured some of the clear liquid into two cups and offered one to Clarke. Before the commander took a sip Gustus stepped forward slightly and said “Heda, allow me” clearly intent on trying the drink before his commander would ingest the thing. Marie silently wondered if it was really necessary to try the drink beforehand.

But she was proven wrong only moments later. Gustus had drunken a bit of the drink from Lexa’s cup and when Lexa toasted to Clarke for the alliance and pulled the cup to her own lips the burly man suddenly started to gag and cough. Marie whirled around to the man not understanding at first what was happening at all.

Gustus collapsed still coughing against the wall as another of the warriors suddenly shouted in outrage that the drink must have been poisoned. Marie saw that Bellamy knocked the cup from Clarke’s hand before she had taken a sip herself and suddenly Indra blamed Skykru and had her sword drawn ready to attack them.

Chaos broke out in the room and Marie moved back from the tables towards the wall looking at Gustus with worried grey eyes. Nyko had moved to the man and was speaking with him in a hushed tone.

Clarke loudly addressed Lexa “It wasn’t us. You have to know wasn’t us!”

But Lexa ignored the Skykru leader for now and had also moved to Gustus telling Nyko urgently “ _Don’t let him die.”_

Marie’s eyes widened slightly at the words as her brain had not caught up to the fact that the poison may indeed have been lethal. 

Indra took control of the situation “ _Everyone out and I want them searched!”_

“No. No, we didn’t do this” Clarke repeated again to Lexa as the commander marched up to the blonde girl with blazing eyes and her face reflecting fury. Marie still stood at the wall as Nyko grabbed the discarded bottle with the alcohol and others helped Gustus to his feet hauling him out of the room.

“Gustus warned me about you, but I didn’t listen” Lexa snarled at Clarke in unrestrained anger.

“Lexa please” the blonde tried to sooth her somehow.

“Tell me something Clarke” Lexa continued her voice going hard “When you plunged the knife into the heart of the boy you loved, did you not wish that it was mine?”

Marie could see Clarke paling at the commander’s words and she seemed lost for word. Before the blonde could answer a warrior called for the commander. He had found a small container in Raven’s coat.

Raven immediately claimed that it did not belong to her. The man handed the commander the container as Raven continued “That’s not mine, he must have put it there when he searched me.”

Clarke only shook her head in clear disbelief when Lexa’s face contorted in silent seething and she loudly declared “No sky person leaves this room!”

The commander swept from the building with her long coat swooshing behind her and some warriors following their heda immediately. Marie still stood rooted to the spot stunned at what had happened the last moments. Her mind had just caught up with the fact that the commander said that no sky person was to leave the room when her heart clenched as Lexa had not took her with her. With a hammering heart she hoped that the commander had simply forgotten for her in the chaos of the moment but when Indra swept from the room and told Lincoln that he was one of Skykru now and Sierra left as the last of the grounders the other warrior pushed her away from the door before she closed it snarling at her to stay where she belonged.

Marie stood in front of the closed door with wide eyes her breath coming out in short erratic bursts. Lexa must know that she had nothing to do with this. But no one came back in the next few minutes. The others completely ignored her most of them looked shell shocked and Marie somehow doubted that any of them were behind the attack on Lexa.

When Clarke asked Raven if she was behind it and said that the girl had wanted her to kill Lexa at Finn’s execution Marie’s eyes widened further. So Clarke had not planned to kill Finn at all but rather to kill Lexa. But Raven’s reaction seemed too honest so Marie somehow doubted that the other girl was lying that she had absolutely no idea where the container had come from.

Clarke suddenly seemed to talk with the air in front of her after Raven had hit her. And Marie watched on with a frown as Abby tried to calm Clarke down. Maybe the other girl had lost her mind due to all the stress?

It seemed to take forever before someone came back. Marie had set down next to the door keeping her gaze locked outside. Wishing Lexa to return for her and she wondered what Anya would say when she heard of what happened. But with a sinking feeling Marie started to doubt if anyone would even come for her.

Marie listened on as the others argued about who might have wanted to kill Lexa besides them and the answer Lincoln gave frightened her. She had already learned from Anya and Lexa that the decision to make an alliance with Skykru might not be reviewed well by their people but hearing someone else saying that it might be a reason for a lot of people to want her dead made the message sink in.

When the door finally opened again it was Anya who entered closely followed by Sierra. The dark haired scout was obviously trying to discourage Anya from retrieving Marie from what the girl caught from their conversation.

Marie held her breath until the woman offered her hand to hoist her from the floor with what looked like regret flashing through her brown eyes. Marie could not help herself and shortly slung her arms around Anya in relief feeling herself shuddering slightly. She had really started to fear that she had somehow already lost her place with them. Anya gently touched her hair and bent down to whisper “It is alright. You are not to blame, _ai Skaifaya”_

Marie looked up at Anya with a teary smile and let go of Anya immediately when the other woman winced slightly from pain.

“ _Anya, the commander said that no Sky person leaves the room”_ Sierra repeated and Anya turned to the woman with her face set in a warning snarl “ _You know very well that Lexa did not mean her!”_

_“Come”_ Anya said to Marie and just walked by the younger woman with blazing eyes. Sierra seemed to have recognized that she had lost and closed the door again after they had left. Abby had come to the door to ask what was happening but the scout just ignored her and stormed away from the door passing Anya and Marie on her way out without another word.

Anya walked at a pretty slow pace so Marie gathered the woman was still in pain. The girl scooted closer to Anya and whispered “What happened?” “Soon” Anya hushed back in a strained voice and led the girl to the healer’s hut.

The small hut was pretty crowded. Gustus lay on one of the cots looking as pale as a ghost and he was still vomiting obviously. The commander, Indra and some warriors Marie did not recognize stood scattered in the small room while Nyko tended to Gustus.

Marie only glanced at the commander shortly but remained standing next to Anya’s side. She could not help feeling slightly betrayed by Lexa who seemed to have forgotten about her. “How is he?” Marie lowly asked Anya looking at Gustus now.

“It seems that he is improving” Anya answered while sitting down on one of the empty cots. Marie followed her and now that she was so close to the woman she leaned against one of her long legs. Lexa had watched with a furrowed brow as the girl had just looked at her once with a hurt expression and now kept on looking every other way.

“Where were you?” Lexa asked stepping up to them. It sounded as if Indra and the other warriors had already started planning to attack the Ark soon. Marie had opened her mouth to retort in an accusing voice but Anya cut in quickly sensing her charge’s anger “She was, where I thought she would be when you said you expected her to be at my bedside, with the other Skykru, commander.”

Lexa seemed puzzled by that information for a moment before annoyance flashed over her face. “Sierra didn’t let me leave” Marie grumbled crossing her arms over chest. The commander growled something too low to understand under her breath before she added “I will have you welcomed into Trikru at the next opportunity so that such a misunderstanding won’t repeat itself, Marie”.

Marie nodded mutely but Lexa could see in her grey eyes that she had lost some of the trust the girl had had in her irrevocably for now and it would certainly take her some time to regain said trust back. But she couldn’t apologize to the girl right now with some of her generals in the same room. A commander did not have to apologize for anything ever. She had been drilled with that from early on. Apologizing meant admitting an error. And that was something she could not do openly. She would later talk to Marie when they were alone as she did regret not having checked earlier where the girl was. It was her responsibility to look after the girl and she felt that she had failed her already.

Silence had settled over them while they watched Gustus. His vomiting had slowed and Nyko had given him a tea and they now waited if he would keep the liquid down. “What kind of poison was it?” Marie asked after some time lowly. Lexa answered the girl’s question “It was made from the sap of a special tree. But they do not grow here.”

Marie furrowed her brow in thought. She had heard Raven claiming again to the others that she was innocent and how should the girl have gotten the sap if the tree did not grow here at all? No one seemed to have come to the same conclusion but as she made to speak up and tell the commander her thought the door opened and Sierra came in and Gustus started to vomit again. Marie looked alarmed when the vomit had turned red and the commander went over to Nyko again.

Gustus had been given something else and they waited again. Sierra had followed the commander and after being reprimanded for having kept Marie in the room as well to what Sierra did not even bait an eye the woman reported that part of the army had arrived at the outskirt of TonDC. The commander nodded and the generals apart from Anya who was to stay and safe her strength left the hut to meet up with the other warriors.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it goes,  
> I hope you like, what I have made of the events :)
> 
> Previously in chapter 43  
> The commander holds a feast to celebrate their treaty. Gustus gets poisoned and Raven gets blamed. Marie is forgotten with the other Skykru in the chaos and gets collected by Anya some time later.

Chapter 44

Indra had returned to the hut again later to fetch Nyko. Marie just listened shortly and heard that they would get Raven to start the punishment.

The girl had remained standing leaned up against Anya’s leg the whole time they had waited now and when the healer left and Gustus started vomiting again Marie rushed over to help the man.

When Gustus stopped vomiting again a few minutes later Marie kneeled down beside his coat “Are you feeling better?” the girl asked in soft voice her eyes still showing her concern for the man.

The burly man looked at the girl with surprise flashing over his face before he nodded. “Do you want more tea?” Marie asked but the man declined and thanked the girl for her concern.

Anya had stood up from the cot she had been sitting on and said to Marie “Come, we are expected to be outside soon” Marie nodded she guessed to witness Raven’s execution. Something was not adding up in Marie’s mind about the whole incident. She somehow knew that Raven truly had not tried to poison Lexa.

Gustus had also heaved to his feet and followed them outside. The man looked slightly pale and his skin seemed clammy but he followed them with sure steps and did not seem to waver. In the distance she could see two warriors escorting Raven to a pole in the centre of TonDC. The inhabitants had started to gather around the scene and were watching as Raven was stripped of her jacket and her hands tied above her head with a thick rope to the pole.

Right in front of the pole the commander, Indra and Sierra stood and watched the Skygirl being tied to the pole. Marie furrowed her brow and when she looked at Sierra something clicked in her mind and she touched Anya’s hand to make her stop. Gustus directly moved past them to step up next to Lexa. The commander looked slightly relieved to see her guard back on his own feet.

Anya had turned around to her charge and asked “What is it? If you think you can’t watch anymore, you can leave.” Marie shook her head vehemently as Lexa loudly proclaimed the alliance to die with Raven “It is not that. She didn’t do it, Anya.” The woman looked at her sceptically so Marie quickly continued before Anya could interrupt her “I think it was Sierra”. Anya looked alarmed for a second and let gaze quickly sweep over their surrounding making sure no one had overheard them as she quickly led Marie a few paces away from the sight of the upcoming execution “You cannot go around blaming someone just like that. You could get framed for that.”

“No” Marie tried to reason with Anya as the conversation she had overheard in the morning between Gustus and Sierra flashed up in her mind. She quickly told Anya about what she had overheard in the woods and watched as doubt started to show in Anya’s brown eyes but the woman still did not look convinced so Marie added “And Sierra could have hidden the container in Raven’s jacket when she pulled out the small knife. And she did not seem surprised at all when Gustus suddenly started to cough. And I haven’t seen her worrying over his health at all, as if she knew that he would survive” Anya’s brows had furrowed and the woman looked to be deeply in thought when the first scream pierced the air. Lexa had drawn the first blood and handed the dagger over to Indra. Marie grew more urgent she did not want an innocent to die “Anya, please, I know she didn’t do it…” Even to her own ears her voice sounded desperate. “We do not have proof” Anya said regretfully “Sierra would hopefully not betray Lexa’s trust like that.”

“But we need to do something” Marie pleaded with Anya. But the woman shook her head “There is nothing we can do now. I am sorry, Marie.”

Another scream sounded and Anya put her hand on Marie’s shoulder guiding them back to the execution. Even if she did believe in her second’s words it would be her word against Sierra’s. There was the potential chance that Marie would be put on the tree for protecting Skykru and framing Sierra a highly trusted scout with trying to poison the commander.

Marie could barely look at the scene in front of her as she stopped next to Anya. They were now standing slightly behind the commander and the knife given from Indra to another warrior. At the other side Marie could see the rest of Skykru. Marcus held Bellamy back who obviously wanted to interfere and Abby was calling for Clarke to come so that they could leave.

When the bloodied blade was handed in her direction Anya took it and placed a shallow cut on Raven’s exposed arm handing the blade to another warrior skipping her second altogether for now. No one commented on that also Anya could see Sierra narrowing her eyes at the girl slightly.

Suddenly Clarke stormed from the room and demanded from Nyko who had talked to Lincoln to be handed the bottle. The blonde stormed to the site of the execution and Lexa told the warriors to let her pass.

Marie could see the other’s blue eyes blazing with determination as she said “One of your people tried to kill you, Lexa, not one of mine.”

“You should have run” Indra blustered and stepped closer to Clarke her grip on her sword tightening.

“I can prove it” Clarke countered took the bottle from Nyko and drank a huge slug of the clear alcohol. Marie could see Lexa’s green eyes widening slightly at the sight as confusion flashed across them. When nothing seemed to happen to Clarke after a few moments and Gustus had started coughing almost immediately after ingesting the liquid Lexa said through clenched teeth “Explain”.

“The poison wasn’t in the bottle” Clarke concluded “It was in the cup.”

Most of the others around her looked confused only Sierra looked alarmed for a second before she stepped up to the commander and lowly said “ _A trick, commander. Do not be fooled”._

Marie was even surer now that it must have been Sierra but Bellamy had come to another conclusion and was blaming Gustus now who quiet obviously had searched Raven as well. Marie had seen recognition flashing up in his dark eyes seconds before and wondered silently if the man had caught up to what his daughter had done. The man had looked way too surprised by the poison to have put it in the cup himself.

“Gustus would never harm me” Lexa assured Bellamy with absolute conviction in her steely voice. “You weren’t the target. The alliance was” Bellamy said.

The commander had turned around to Gustus her eyes hard and it was clear she had no idea what to think at the moment when she said “ _You’ve been accused, Gustus. Speak true.”_

Marie could see the man struggle for words but he finally settled on “This alliance would cost you your life, heda.”

All of them looked slightly shocked by that admission but Sierra seemed the most unsettled. Marie could see a conflict raging in her eyes and she was now absolutely sure it had been her. The girl wondered why Gustus obviously planned to take the blame for Sierra as she was sure whoever had done it would take Raven’s place on the tree. She turned slightly to Anya as Lexa said in a carefully even voice “This treachery will cost you yours.” Anya had her eyes hefted on Sierra now as well but she did not interfere. “ _Put him on the tree”_ Lexa ordered and when two warriors grabbed for Gustus’ arms Marie stepped up to Lexa and loudly said “It wasn’t Gustus. Sierra also searched Raven…” The girl let her voice trail off and Lexa looked between Gustus and Sierra with widened eyes anger now obvious in them.

Lexa’s features showed confusion but to Marie’s utter relief the commander seemed to at least be willing to believe her word. Lexa had felt that Gustus had not been telling the whole truth and she had silently wondered who he tried to protect by taking the blame. She had silently begged the man in her head to speak the truth as she had not wanted to have to execute him. As she turned to her old friend and looked into her dark eyes she knew Marie’s words to be the truth with a sudden pain in her chest. It all made sense now how extremely hostile Sierra had been to Marie, why she had kept her with the other Skykru and had not rushed to the healer’s hut with her father. Simply because she had known he would survive the poison. The commander had already wondered how Raven might have gotten hold of this poison but it would not have been a problem for Sierra.

“Why?” was the only thing Lexa wanted to know from Sierra. The woman had her chin jutted out defiantly as she shortly glared at Skykru before her eyes got softer and she looked at Lexa “I could not have you get killed by the alliance.” Marie could see the commander closing her eyes for a second as if she were in pain before her voice had turned monotonous again and she ordered Sierra to be taken to the tree.

The scout did not resist being stripped of her coat, her shirt and her weapons. She was tied to the pole in her trouser and her bindings covering her chest. Marie could see a variety of tattoos climbing up the woman’s sides and arms in intricate patterns.

Anya had quickly stepped up to her young charge and quickly explained something to her the girl must have been unaware with. Anya had planned to wait for the first cut to accuse Sierra and give her time to admitting the truth herself but Marie had beaten her to it and now had to face the consequences of doing so. She spoke in quick serious words to the girl “Because you have identified the culprit you are now given the honour to place the second cut after the commander, Marie.” She tried to convey in her voice that Marie could not possibly decline this tradition. She could see the girl’s grey eyes widening and her breaths picking up. Anya squeezed Marie’s shoulders and lowly added “You cannot decline. You do not have to cut deep, but you need to place your cut.” Marie was biting her lips slightly trembling at the prospect but she nodded trying to calm down.

Lexa had received another dagger and placed a long cut above the other woman’s breastbone. In contrast to Raven who had started screaming with the first cut Sierra did not make a single sound. As Anya had told her Lexa handed the dagger to Marie now. With shaking legs and an unsteady hand nearly unable to meet the woman’s dark eyes Marie made a rather short cut on her exposed stomach. The woman only silently glared at her but did not say anything. Marie watched the small cut starting to bleed and she felt vomit rise in her throat unsure of whom to give the dagger next she turned back towards Anya with a helpless expression. But Gustus had already stepped up to the young girl and had taken the knife from her trembling fingers.

Looking up at the man while she let go of the knife Marie felt tears watering her eyes and she could barely breathe.

“ _You should not have done that”_ Gustus said lowly to his daughter regret clear in his voice. Sierra slightly shook her head with a small smile on her lips as she said _“Keep her safe”_. It was obvious she must have meant Lexa as Gustus nodded and cut his own daughter in the stomach as well. Gustus had been willing to die for his daughter and because of her he now had to participate in her execution. Marie felt even sicker with the thought and stumbled back to Anya almost blinded by her tears.

No one commented on Marie’s behaviour but after Anya had placed her cut the woman had enveloped her in her arms and let the girl take some strength from her presence.

Silently crying Marie watched the execution pressed up against Anya’s body. The girl could see the silent struggle in Lexa’s green eyes as she watched her friend bleed to death. Skykru looked all slightly green in the face and to most it seemed to sink in what justice for the grounders really meant. Gustus had not looked at her again but he had his eyes fixed on his dying daughter.

It seemed to take forever for the knife to be handed to all inhabitants of TonDC once. But when it was handed back to Lexa, the commander put the knife away and stepped up to the pole. Sierra’s upper body was littered with bleeding cuts and some had not just placed a cut but rather stabbed the woman with the knife leaving bleeding puncture wounds behind. Red blood was glistening slightly on the woman’s lips and she had started moaning some time ago when a new wound had been made. She was obviously struggling to keep on breathing but her pained eyes instantly connected with Lexa’s when the commander stepped into her field of vision.

Marie watched still crying as Lexa seemed to straighten herself and take a deep breath when Sierra said with great effort “ _Be strong and stay alive, little Lexa”._

The commander took out one of her swords and said “ _Your fight is over”_ while pushing the blade into Sierra’s heart watching the life leave her dark eyes.

When the woman’s head fell onto her chest Marie let out a loud sob again turning into Anya’s body and slinging her arms around her. Anya let the girl hug her for a few moments even though it did hurt her wounds pretty much but when Lexa left the place of the execution closely followed by Gustus Anya broke away from their hug and guided the girl to follow them.

Gustus had stayed outside of the commander’s tent which had already been erected and guided the entrance. When Marie saw the man standing there she swallowed harshly and when she looked up to him her eyes overflowed with tears again she said weakly „I am sooo sorry…”.

But the man’s eyes only mirrored her grief not showing any blame or anger. He squeezed her shoulders slightly and said in a grave voice “She had made her choice. I had just not recognized how serious she was about this. You are not to blame in any of this.”

When something suddenly made a crashing sound in the tent Anya pushed Marie inside quickly while Gustus followed them. Lexa stood in the middle of the tent in front of a table she obviously had overturned in anger. Her face was grief stricken and Marie was surprised to actually see tears on the older woman’s face as well.

Anya and Gustus seemed just as surprised as Marie was because the girl was the first to take a silent step up to Lexa and simply hug the commander in silent solitude. Anya could see Lexa stiffening in the sudden embrace and surprise flashed across her formers second face momentarily. Before she looked down on the girl that had wound her arms around her body tightly and just tightened her own arms around the smaller body in a silent answer. Lexa laid her chin on Marie’s head and closed her eyes for a second before she picked up her head again and looked at Anya and Gustus.

There was only understanding in their eyes as well as a silent promise of unwavering support and Lexa nodded to them in silent thanks still hugging Marie tightly to herself.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 44  
> Marie concludes that Sierra must have poisoned Lexa but Anya is unwilling to risk her life for the assumption without prove. Clarke proves that the poison had been in the cup and Bellamy concludes it must have been Gustus. The man seems intent to take the blame but Marie speaks up and tells Lexa it was Sierra instead. The woman admits her crime and is put on the tree for her execution. Marie also has to place her cut and can barely bare to watch the execution. She offers solace to Lexa later.

Chapter 45

Marie had no idea for how long she stood together with Lexa locked in a tight embrace. It had completely passed her attention that Anya had sat down on one of the stools and Gustus had returned to his post outside of the tent.

Lexa pulled her arms tighter around the smaller body once more before she let her arms go slack. With gentle fingers she wiped away the tear tracks from Marie’s cheeks and forced a slight smile on her face. Marie could clearly recognize that the smile was fake on the commander’s part but even she knew that Lexa needed to pull herself back together. Now that they had an alliance with Skykru the planning for the war against Mount Weather was bound to begin soon.

“What happens now?” Marie asked as the commander bent down to set the table right again she had knocked over. The girl quickly helped Lexa with picking up the things that now lay scattered on the floor.

“Now we wait for all of the generals of Trikru to arrive” Lexa said while re-arranging maps she had just picked up from the floor. The commander’s voice sounded steady although Marie could still see a lingering sadness in the green eyes.

“What about Skykru?” Anya asked from her position on the stool “They cannot fight as we do, they cannot even hunt. How are they supposed to help in this war?”

Lexa took out her sword and laid it on the table quickly going to the side of the tent where a basin with clean water and some rags were stored. She wetted a rag and started cleaning her sword of Sierra’s blood. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts and answer “They understand the Mountain Men and their defences better than we do, we will need their knowledge to win. But I still think that some of us need to train them in our ways. You are right, they need to learn to provide for themselves and to fight for themselves without their guns. They will run out of bullets sooner or later.”

Anya nodded also with obvious reluctance “I hope you do not intend to send me to train them.” The woman felt deeply uncomfortable in the presence of Skykru and their guns. The memory of the gunshot still fresh in her mind.

Lexa shook her head “No, you are still recovering. And you will need all the time you can get to recover before the actual battle.”

Anya seemed to let out a breath she not been aware of holding at all. The commander had taken an empty sheet of parchment and a piece of dark charcoal and started to draw something. Marie stayed standing beside the table and glanced over Lexa’s shoulder curiously. The girl could only see an intricate pattern of lines which seemed to form the crown of a tree. Lexa let the girl watch silently not reacting to her obvious eagerness to discover what it was that she was drawing. The commander needed something to take of her mind of what had happened today and introducing Marie to Trikru properly was more pressing than ever. When the other generals arrived the girl’s place must have been made clear so that no other not so accidental misunderstanding could happen.

Anya also had no idea what Lexa was sketching on the parchment but she had an idea when she glanced at the parchment.

“Finished” Lexa said after some time and turned the sheet of parchment for her to see “What do you think?”

Marie tilted her head slightly in thought. The parchment showed a big tree without any leaves. The tree was surrounded on both sides by twelve stars on top of the tree’s branches Lexa had sketched first her discontinuous eternity symbol and above that her headpiece. “It looks nice” the girl said uncertainly clearly not having caught up to what the sketch should represent.

Anya had also stood up from her stool to get a closer look at the sketch but she looked slightly alarmed to find the commander’s symbols included in the design “Don’t you think including the commander’s sacred symbols is a bit over the top?”

But Lexa just shook her head resolutely and explained “Marie is to be my second as well. And as the commander’s second I can grant her the honour to wear those symbols.”

Marie had caught up to what she had been presented with and her eyes got wide “This will be my tattoo?”

“If you like it” Lexa said softly to her and watched the girl closely to assess her reaction.

“I love it” Marie was instantly delighted “The tree for Trikru” and Lexa nodded “and stars for Skykru?” Lexa nodded again “Your origin will always stay in the stars. It are twelve stars for the twelve clans in the coalition. And this” she pointed to the eternity symbol “is the sacred symbol of the commanders. It will mark you as someone highly trusted by me.” Silently in her head Lexa added that it would also offer additional protection to the girl and the commander who would come after her would probably honour the symbol as well so that Marie would remain protected no matter what happened.

Initiating the girl into Trikru would also serve to rectify the mood in TonDC as most of the inhabitants had already taken a liking to the quite Skygirl. Trouble concerning Marie would probably wait again when she met with the other generals or with Titus in Polis the latest.

“And where will it be made?” Marie asked trying to picture the motive somewhere on her body.

“Here in the tent” Lexa answered not having understood the question at all. “No” Marie answered quickly “I meant where it be placed on my body.”

Anya snorted slightly being better aquatinted with the girl’s way of thought. She had directly understood what the girl meant.

“That depends on where you want it placed” Lexa answered shooting Anya a look to silence her “You could have it placed on your upper arm, a leg, your back or even one of your sides.”

Marie looked down her body as if to judge where it looked best and Anya really laughed when the girl turned around herself once while trying to look at her own back. “If you get it on your back or sides it will probably be too big to be done in one go. But it is your first tattoo so it will probably be made in several sessions anyway.”

The girl suddenly looked smaller somehow and worried her bottom lip between her teeth “Will it hurt much?”

“Well it is not exactly pain free” Lexa admitted fighting against a smile “But are special creams or even a tea that you can get to numb at least some of the pain.”

“Are there any other rituals or something?” Marie wondered out loud.

Anya shook her head “Not for you. A child being integrated into a clan works differently from petitioning to be integrated to another clan as an adult. If you were older you would have been sent on a hunt of your own to prove that you can provide for yourself and aid the clan you want to join. But you are still a child and Lexa already proclaimed her intent to have you made a member of Trikru so there is no need for you to prove anything now.”

Marie nodded with relief evident on her face. After what she had seen so far Marie had envisioned the initiation to somehow involve a fight or something.

Gustus suddenly announced Indra’s arrival and the commander told him to let the general enter. Indra strode into the tent and also shortly glanced at the parchment but the general did not comment on it at all she rather stated what she had come for “Our scouts report that the generals from Ice Nation, Rock Line, Lake People and Blue Cliff are approaching fast. They should arrive at TonDC in the morning.”

Lexa nodded she had already sent word to the clans days ago now and expected all of them to arrive in the next two days. She said “I want you and some of your warriors to accompany whoever wants to return to Skykru camp from them. Stay with your warriors and start training them in our ways to fight and hunt.”

Indra’s lips seemed to thin slightly but the general nodded silently “You can tell their party of the plan yourself.” The dark skinned woman nodded again “Anything else?”

The commander shook her head and dismissed Indra again. She turned to Anya “Do you know if Leilani is still in TonDC presently?”

The other woman nodded “I think I have seen her around. Should I get her?” Lexa nodded and added “And ask her to bring her equipment to start right away.”

Marie watched the exchange with interest unsure if she should stay with Lexa or accompany Anya. Lexa answered the girl’s silent question by slightly pushing her towards Anya to go with her. Lexa wanted a few minutes of quite solitude for herself at the moment.

From the position of the sun Marie judged it to be sometime about early afternoon. She was internally still thinking about where to have her tattoo placed. “Do you think I should get it done on my back?” Marie asked Anya on their way through TonDC and added “And who is Leilani?”

Anya chuckled at the girl slightly “It will probably look most impressive on your back, but it will be covered by your clothes most of the times. But you can get other tattoos later on in different places if you want. And Leilani is well known for her talent in marking another’s skin.”

In the distance they could see Indra talking to Marcus. The man nodded and went back to the other Skykru.

“When will they leave?” Marie asked. She hoped the atmosphere in TonDC would get friendlier again after the others had left. Anya had watched the girl closely guessing her train of thoughts and she shook her head with a slight frown “Not all of them will leave, Marie. Clarke will be expected to be part of the war meetings. Our people will need time to adjust.”

Marie nodded with a thoughtful expression. With what had happened with Sierra she doubted that it would be easy. Leilani lived in a small cave on the outskirt of TonDC and the woman turned out to be much older than Marie would have guessed. Her skin was wrinkled from age and her hair had started to turn grey. But her brown eyes were still sharp when they assessed Marie standing next to Anya.

Anya spoke with the woman “The commander asks for you to come and mark our new second.”

Leilani’s brown eyes were fixed onto Marie’s for long moments and the girl tried not to squirm under her intense stare. Suddenly the woman nodded and she smiled and turned around to gather the things she would need. “I am sure she will do great for Trikru” the woman said after she had a pouch under her arms.

Marie blinked silently unsure of how to react to such a comment but Anya just shook her head with a smile dancing in her eyes and shoved the girl back out of the cave in front of her. Their way towards the commander’s tent was silent and short. Lexa stood in front of the tent and it seemed she had just finished a speech as most of the inhabitants of TonDC stood gathered around the tent.

When they saw Anya, Leilani and Marie approaching the tent they cleared a path for her and Marie could see that Skykru had also gathered interested in what was happening. The commander just turned around and entered her tent again and they followed her inside leaving the rest going back to what they were doing previously.

Lexa showed Leilani the sketch she had made for Marie and the woman nodded silently. She turned back to Marie and walked around the girl once “Her back would be most suited.”

The commander nodded and Marie was told to strip of her clothes and to lay face down on the commander’s bed for now. Anya and Lexa had both followed her into the sleeping part of the tent and Anya had sat down on Marie’s other side while Lexa still stood next to Marie’s head. It was obvious to both of them how exited and scared the girl was to get her tattoo and with that to really belong to Trikru from now on.

At the first prick of the needle Marie shrieked slightly. Leilani had not announced that she would start so she had simply startled Marie. Lexa had taken to sitting down next to the bed cross-legged after she had rid herself of her shoulder guard and long coat. To calm the girl she had taken one of her hands and when the child shrieked Lexa could see Anya taking Marie’s other hand.

After some time Lexa softly asked “And how is the pain?”

Marie blinked her eyes owlishly as if she had been only moments ago from falling asleep “It doesn’t really hurt.”

Lexa chuckled softly and squeezed the girl’s hand once. Anya was leaning against a post while still holding on to Marie’s hand and also seemed to be close to sleeping so Lexa simply took to try to mediate. She had expected her focus to be off while she still held the girl’s hand but it did not take her long at all to settle her thoughts into the trance like state she wanted to achieve.

The tattoo took hours without end. Luckily Marie still felt the sensation as not being really painful per se and she had truly even slept some of the time. When she blinked her grey eyes open again some time later she could feel Anya’s hand completely relaxed and a short glance out of the corner of her eyes told her that the woman had also fallen asleep. She doubted though that her half sitting position was very comfortable to sleep in.

Lexa had her eyes closed but she sat with a straight back next to her bed so Marie thought that the woman was probably awake. She softly squeezed the commander’s hand and instantly her green eyes snapped open again. Leilani was humming a constant melody under her breath and Marie wondered if the woman did not want to take a break.

“How far are we?” Marie asked in a low voice to Lexa and the commander looked at the girl’s back shortly. She must have mediated longer than she thought. Most of her charge’s back was already decorated with dark ink no. Leilani had started at the girl neck with her symbols and the stars and worked her way down the girl’s spine at the moment occupied with outlining the tree’s bark. Lexa told her that it would not take much longer and most was done already and saw the girl’s eyes light up happily.

Leilani had also heard the question and shook her head slightly “I will still need some time.”

Lexa nodded for her to continue. Marie felt awake now and did not want to sleep again but when Leilani moved to colour some of the tree’s bark directly over her spine she winced. That really actually hurt now.

“Can you distract me somehow?” the girl asked wincing again her back straightening and trying to arch away from the needle. Lexa squeezed her hand reassuringly and said “And what do you want to hear?”

Marie thought for a second “Can you tell me of your time before you became the commander?”

Lexa nodded again and silently thought about what to tell her specifically “You already know that I have started training early on. Our children start training in fighting when they pick up a weapon the first time. I did that with three summers.”

“You have always been overly eager” Anya interjected in a sleepy voice. Lexa chuckled softly at the memory and so they passed time with speaking about Lexa’s childhood.

It had already turned completely dark by the time Leilani finally stepped back with a satisfied nod and left them again after gathering her things.

The skin on her whole back felt slightly irritated as Marie turned her head to catch a look. She could see some branches of the tree even climb over her shoulder and the stars had been interwoven into them. Lexa and Anya both seemed satisfied as well with the result and Anya left shortly to go to Nyko. She still needed her bandages to be changed and she wanted to get a balm to help with the healing of the freshly tattooed skin.

Marie was feeling absolutely blissful right now. She finally belonged to Trikru. She had a place where she belonged again.

“Thank you” Marie said softly to Lexa.

“For what?” the commander asked slightly confused. It was normal to be marked at an initiation.

“For giving me a place to belong to” Marie added and hugged the perplexed commander again.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews =) They really always make my day and motivate me to really continue to write, which I just did ;)  
> I apologize if the chapter turned out awfully sentimental but I really wanted to put emphasise on all the personality that lies behind the hard masks of the commander and Anya…
> 
> Previously in chapter 45  
> Lexa draws a sketch for Marie’s tattoo to be integrated into Trikru and she gets it marked into her skin. It takes long into the night to finish the huge tattoo but Marie is happy to finally be Trikru for real.

Chapter 46

When Anya returned a few minutes later after having her bandage changed and gathering a balm to sooth Marie’s freshly marked skin the woman walked into the tent to see Marie still hugging Lexa tightly. Anya remained where she was for a moment just watching her former second and the younger one together. Lexa had of course heard Anya enter the tent and her green eyes were now firmly fixed into Anya’s.

It made her chest tighten to see this expression in Lexa’s green eyes. She knew how much Sierra’s betrayal must have hurt the commander, her losing control afterwards in the privacy of her tent was testament to that, but she had also seen the concealed hurt flash through the same green eyes when Marie had openly just sought out her own presence and averted Lexa earlier. Obviously they both cared deeply for the young girl now even though Anya still had a hard time to understand how that had happened. When she had agreed to take Marie as her second in TonDC she had just felt the sudden need to somehow help the young girl. There was something in Marie which she had never seen in anyone until now and seemed that the same thing must be calling to Lexa as well. Although Anya knew that Lexa always had a rather soft spot for children and how much the younger nightblood children adored the commander.

For all of their sakes Anya hoped that Marie would not hold a grudge towards Lexa but somehow she doubted that she would.

Silently the woman wondered what would happen with Gustus now. He had been willing to die for his daughter. On a personal level she could understand this decision completely but it also meant that Lexa would be a fool to continue trusting him blindly for now. She highly doubted that Gustus would make the same mistake again to think that he knew better than the commander but he had still disregarded her orders and thus undermined Lexa’s authority.

After a few moments of silently watching them both she slightly cleared her throat to make the girl aware of her presence as well. Marie let go of the commander with an almost sheepish expression and smiled at Anya with her grey eyes shining happily. Anya held up the jar she had gotten from Nyko and said “Sit on the bed, so that I can apply the balm”.

Marie nodded and complied quickly with her directions. With gentle fingers Anya applied the reddish balm which smelled strongly of honey and had a faint trace of marigold as well. The girl hissed slightly at her first touch and wiggled in discomfort when she moved her fingers over her lightly swollen skin.

The girl was relieved when Anya finally closed the lid of the jar again having finished with the skin on her back. Lexa had looked through a wooden chest and dug out a soft shirt for the girl to wear for the night. She knew how the girl’s skin must feel right now so she needed something loose and soft for the night. It was one of her own undershirts and the commander stepped up to the bed directing Marie to lift her arms over her head. She simply slipped the fabric over the girl’s head directing her arms into the short sleeves of the shirt and regarded the dark shirt with a frown on her face. The thing looked ridiculously large on their charge’s small frame. Had she ever been this small?

Her thoughts must have been written clearly on her face as Anya seemed to have to battle to not start laughing out loud. Lexa narrowed her eyes at her mentor with a slight pout on her lips and that really did it and Anya loudly started to laugh. Marie looked between the both of them with confused grey eyes not having caught up with the silent conversation between them. Lexa huffed in annoyance at being laughed at by the woman. When Anya suddenly winced with obvious pain flashing over her features from the laughing which pulled at her healing wound Lexa’s annoyance faded completely and was replaced with a feeling of gratitude. She had nearly lost Anya forever and she just now started to see again how precious the woman really was to her. With a slight grimace Lexa thought about returning to Polis after felling the mountain and facing Titus again. She knew the man would not take kindly to her renewed relationship with Anya and he would probably had a fit when he met Marie and recognized the significance the girl already carried for her.

But that was a conflict for another day and they only had a few hours left before the sun would rise again calling her back to her duty. The commander knew that Anya also dearly needed all the rest and time to heal the woman could get and the day had been exhausting. She felt completely drained but she doubted that sleep would really help with the hollow feeling in her chest.

“We should rest before the sun rises again” Lexa finally said. She already wore comfier clothes so after Anya had nodded and stood up from the bed the commander climbed into the bed and laid down slipping under her furs. Marie was still sitting on the edge of the bed looking between the bed and her own furs with a frown on her face. The girl absolutely hated sleeping on her stomach but she doubted lying on her back would be a possibility for the night.

When Marie still had not moved a few moments later Anya asked “What is wrong? Go to sleep, Marie.”

The girl looked at the woman with a pout on her features which Anya did not see as she had not even opened her eyes. Marie answered her in a slightly whiney tone “I can’t sleep on my stomach…”

Lexa could practically hear Anya rolling her eyes at the answer and before the other woman could tell the girl to just suck it up Lexa motioned the girl over to herself lifting her furs invitingly for the girl to slip under. Lexa just lowly chuckled to herself when the girl immediately snuggled up to her lying on her side with her head positioned on her chest. She softly let her finger glide through her blonde hair a few times while wondering how this position was any different from sleeping on her stomach on the furs. But she had spent enough nights with the girl in exactly this position to know that it helped her charge sleep immensely even though the girl herself obviously had not caught up with that.

Feeling the girl’s smaller frame pressed against her also helped herself now. When Lexa had slipped under the furs and closed her eyes she had immediately been confronted with Sierra’s dark eyes staring at her from the tree in her head.

As the commander Lexa had already executed many people through the years. But she had always been haunted by their faces in her sleep. No matter if she had known them personally or not. It had been worse in the first year after her ascension. Nothing could have prepared her for the harsh reality of leading people. Costia had been the only reprieve in those times. And when she had been killed and Lexa had been delivered her head the woman had not slept in days. She had suffered from nightmares for days on end before she finally learned to close of her heart for good. Lexa had felt a peace of herself dying back then but it somehow started to come alive again now. But the girl’s regular breathing grounded her thoughts and let her slip into a dreamless slumber quickly.

The girl had not moved an inch when Lexa awoke even before the sun started to rise again. Her body was completely programmed to rise early as the hours before the sun rose where mostly the only time she had to herself. Her duties kept her occupied mostly long after the sun had already set again. Being away from Polis gave her a little more free time so there was no need to rise this early.

The arm on which Marie was still lying was completely sensationless and cautiously Lexa tried to get her arm out under the girl’s body. But as soon as she started to move slightly the girl just followed her movement snuggling up to her upper body again. With a silent huff Lexa resigned herself to her fate for now. When they finally would rise later her arm would still be fine. Instead of falling back asleep Lexa thought about what she needed to do the next days.

She already knew that planning the war against the mountain would be straining. The involvement of Skykru was bound to cause unrest in her army. She was sure that some of her generals would be testing her patience the next days. With that line of thought her mind strayed to the blonde Skykru leader.

Lexa wondered what on earth had made her tell the other woman about Costia. But in that moment it somehow had felt to be the right thing to do. She had absolutely no idea why her eyes seemed to look for the blonde woman whenever she was near.

She had to give Clarke some credit. The girl had not cowered beneath her at all. And she silently admired her stubborn will to get her friends out of the mountain. She recognized the soul of a true leader in the blonde Sky girl even though Clarke herself seemed completely unaware of her strength. She knew how much strength it must have cost Clarke to murder the boy she loved.

With that her thoughts irrevocably returned to Sierra. Lexa felt a pang of pain in her chest as she remembered her last words. _“Little Lexa”_ only Sierra had ever called her by that nickname. They had met each other years ago shortly after Anya had begun training her as her second. Sierra had always been slightly bigger in their shared childhood and she had liked to tease Lexa with that. And being young back then she always riled Lexa up with it.

Lexa also knew that she needed to make a decision concerning Gustus. Even though he was innocent in the end she had seen in his eyes that he might have done something similar if Sierra had not beat him to it. She doubted that she would have to punish him publicly though. He had paid enough already with seeing and participating in his own daughter’s execution. Mentally Lexa was sorting through warriors she trusted enough to serve alongside Gustus in her personal guard. She could not let Gustus continue as her sole personal guard until he had fully redeemed himself again.

Lexa was interrupted in her thoughts when Marie started to wiggle around still pressed to her upper body. One of the girl’s arms was bend behind her back and she seemed to be scratching at her skin underneath the lose shirt. But the girl’s eyes were still closed so she did the scratching subconsciously. Lexa gently shook the girl’s shoulder with her free hand to wake her. It would not be long before the sun rose so they could get up now anyway.

Marie startled awake from her touch instantly but her scratching only increased with a pained groan. Lexa extricated her numb arm from under Marie’s body and chastised her charge “Stop with the scratching. The skin must heal undisturbed or you can destroy some of the design.”

With great reluctance and moving her shoulders around to get some friction from the shirt Marie obliged her words. Lexa was cautiously massaging her tingling arm with the other hand as blood flowed again freely through the limb. “Sorry” Marie apologized looking downcast slightly. Lexa just shushed the girl with a shake of her head and saw that Anya had also woken up and seemed to carefully stretch herself under her own furs.

Lexa snatched the jar of ointment from a small table next to her bed and motioned Marie to turn around and strip off the shirt. While turning around Marie looked into Anya’s brown eyes and smiled at the woman mutely. The girl flinched away from her fingers when she started to apply the balm and she noted that some patches of the girl’s back looked slightly inflamed. They would have to keep a close eyes on the healing process before an infection would fester.

Anya had stood up from her nest of furs and now stretched her hands up over her body which brought an agonized expression onto her face. Lexa knew how impatient Anya was when it came to her own body and the time a wound needed to heal but she would also keep an eye on the older woman to make sure she rested. When they would finally march against the mountain she wanted to know Anya to be next to her so she needed all the time to get better.

Sounds from other inhabitants of TonDC were starting to filter through the tent and not much later Gustus announced Alira who brought in a heavy tray laden with food for them.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> I have finally found the time and inspiration to continue writing =)   
> I have just written the end of the timeline of the second season of the show. But probably my progress now will come slower as I intend to drift further away from the show.  
> Hope you stick around to find out what happens ;)

Chapter 47

Lexa was still applying the balm to all of Marie’s freshly marked skin when the tent flap was opened and Alira and Gustus stepped inside.

The commander could feel the girl’s frame tensing underneath her fingers when she saw Gustus but the man showed no reaction to Marie’s behaviour at all. Alira had placed the tray with the food on a bigger table in the central part of the tent. At least the girl had obviously lost the shyness to show her body as she didn’t try to cover her naked front from Alira’s and Gustus’ eyes at all.

Alira had come over to Marie and crouched down in front of the bed to be on the same eye level with the girl. The handmaid warmly smiled at the girl and said “Welcome to Trikru, Marie” afterwards she thrust out her forearm for the girl to grasp in the way warriors did to show respect to each other. But Marie was still unfamiliar with the gesture and after thanking the woman for the welcome she looked at her with her head tilted slightly in confusion. Anya snorted from the side in an attempt to conceal her laughter when Marie finally just made to shake the other woman’s hand.

Marie looked even more confused now and let go of Alira’s hand as if burnt looking at Lexa with helpless eyes. The commander also had her lips turned upwards in the hint of a smile while she shook her head and stood up from the bed. She just took the girl’s arm in what a warrior clasp should have looked like and said “It is a sign of honour to clasp hands in that way.”

“Oh” Marie said blushing slightly and now clasped her arm with Alira again who had waited patiently until now. “I am still trying to learn” Marie stressed after she let go and looked at the woman with big honest eyes. Alira chuckled at the girl nodded to her and stood up again “We all know.”

Marie was surprised when Gustus also crouched down next to her and offered her his arm now. Anya could see guilt clearly on Marie’s face and the girl seemed to find it extremely difficult to look at Gustus.

Lexa interrupted the awkward moment after she had dressed and addressed Gustus “I want you to call Aleo to my tent. He will aid you in your guard position from now on.”

Gustus simply nodded silently although Lexa knew that the man had understood the order for it really was. A sign that she did not trust him completely anymore but he was too professional to react at the open jab. The man left the tent a few moments later together with Alira.

Marie was even more surprised when they had finished their breakfast and she left the tent together with the commander and Anya that inhabitants of TonDC started to come to her one by one offering their welcome into Trikru just as Alira and Gustus had done. The girl was internally grateful that the embarrassing moment had happened inside of the commander’s tent and not outside for all of them to see. At least she now knew how to answer their welcome correctly without offending anyone or deflecting badly on Lexa and Anya.

Both Anya and Lexa noted satisfied that most of the people seemed sincere in their welcome to their second into Trikru. But they really needed to think about all the small things the girl needed to learn quickly to be able to better blend in with their culture. Her education would really need to contain more than survival, fighting and language skills.

On the outskirt of TonDC Skykru had erected small tents for themselves. Clarke and Abby had been conversing with each other in front of them when the people started to gather in front of the commander’s tent. Through the crowd Lexa could see both Clarke and Abby watching the proceedings with interest. But while Clarke seemed only genuinely interested, Abby looked alarmed at the gathering.

It was obvious that the people of TonDC kept clear of the small place the Skykru occupied in their village now and the atmosphere in TonDC all in all was rather tense. The last who welcomed her into Trikru was a warrior who looked to be around Lexa’s age and turned out to be Aleo. The man was tan and a lot thinner than Gustus but Marie could see his athletic built through his light armour. He had dark brown hair and warm eyes and seemed completely unbiased towards Marie for which the girl was silently grateful. Aleo had a charming light smile on his face when he clasped arms with Marie and she could see Gustus grimacing from the corner of her eyes.

Marie stood a bit taller when all of the people had officially welcomed her and Anya watched with a pleased glint in her eyes. The girl really looked to be one of them now. Her light hair was braided in the style Lexa had worn when she had been young and the dark green coat made a stark contrast to her fair hair, skin and eyes. Some traces of the tattoo peeked out under the girl’s collar and she seemed to have a certain glow of happiness around her at the moment.

Even Indra seemed mildly impressed with the confident image their second now projected but the atmosphere got tense abruptly when Lincoln followed by Octavia came over to also offer his welcome. Indra’s lips thinned angrily but the general remained silent when Lexa let the man come to them and only nodded in silent acknowledgment to him. Curiously the girl who had followed Lincoln seemed to be the slightest bit envious of Marie to be accepted into Trikru now.

Indra had already told Skykru that some of them would accompany them back to the Ark to teach them their way of hunting and fighting. Marcus had also watched the proceedings with interest and stopped Abby from interfering. With a hint of annoyance Lexa noted that Abby obviously was still not satisfied with Marie now officially being integrated in Trikru but that was the other woman’s problem.

After the crowd had diffused somewhat Clarke approached the commander with a determined expression on her face. Gustus made to step in front of Lexa protectively but the commander waved him off. After the events of the previous day Skykru would be highly dumb to try anything against her in one of her villages.

Marie saw Raven limping behind Clarke trying hard to keep up with the other’s quick stride. She spotted a radio in her hands and wondered what was going on.

“We have news from the mountain” Clarke began urgently “We received this yesterday but you were not to be disturbed”

Lexa furrowed her brow slightly as she had not given Gustus orders to keep everyone out instead of showing that she asked “What is it then?”

Clarke nodded to Raven who pushed a button on the radio and the radio emanated a voice “Forty seven of us are trapped inside Mount Weather. We don’t know how much time we have left. Please hurry. This is Jasper Jordan. We need help.” The message started to repeat itself so Raven let go of the button she had pressed. The grounders looked at the radio with puzzlement obvious on their faces, some of them looked even alarmed. None of them had ever seen a radio in use and they were completely unfamiliar with how they worked.

The commander and Anya shared a silent glance when Clarke continued “Bellamy and Lincoln will depart shortly. We need an inside man to lower their defences. Lincoln can get Bellamy in undetected.” The blonde young woman had spoken with conviction in her voice and met Lexa’s piercing gaze steadily. The commander was slightly put off that such a decision had been made without her, but Clarke was a leader in her own right or at least she was growing to become one.

Markus and Abby had also approached the group and Marcus told Indra that they were ready to leave. The dark skinned general nodded and turned to gather her own warriors who would accompany her to the Skykru’s camp.

Abby spoke up next obviously trying to deter Clarke from her plan “Clarke you can’t sent Bellamy to his death. There has to be another way.”

Clarke’s eyes hardened when she answered her mother in a clipped tone “What good does an army when it cannot reach the enemy. Bellamy needs to turn off the acid fog before the commander’s army can attack.”

Lexa had to admit that Clarke’s arguments were right but she highly doubted one spy inside the Mountain would be enough. But she would not tell her this in front of Abby. So instead she just nodded and watched Abby huff annoyed. Her green eyes turned to Bellamy who had also approached them “I will do it, chancellor. It is worth the risk.” At least he seemed intent on his mission.

Anya was wondering silently how Lincoln planned to get Bellamy into the Mountain undetected but she hoped they had a sound plan. “Who will stay in TonDC beside you?” Lexa asked turned to Clarke.

“She will not stay” Abby interrupted rudely looking at her daughter.

“I will, mom” Clarke said resolutely “You will not.”

Abby opened her mouth to retort but Clarke continued “You are the chancellor and a doctor. You are needed at the Ark. I need to do this.”

The older blonde woman conceded but added “But Major Byrne will stay here with you.” Clarke seemed to roll her eyes but nodded silently.

By the time it had took them to discuss Indra had finished gathering her men and returned to them “We are set to leave”. Marcus nodded and Skykru left. Clarke had stepped away a few meters and was quietly talking with Bellamy while Lincoln said his goodbyes to Octavia kissing the girl passionately.

They watched the Skykru group leave before the Trikru warriors with Indra did. The people of TonDC seemed to breathe more easily after they had left. “When will the war council start?” Clarke asked after having been assigned a place to sleep with Major Byrne.

“Later” Lexa answered “When the other generals have arrived. We will train in the meantime” The commander had added to Marie.

Clarke had asked to watch them train to what Lexa agreed. The commander had decided to train Marie herself today. Anya was still healing after all so the woman stood next to Clarke on the side of the training pits. The initiation seemed to have really boosted Marie’s self-confidence and the girl exerted herself completely in training. Lexa still did not want to move her to a real sword so they trained with wooden staffs again.

The girl’s movements were getting quicker and she was much more agile on her feet and her reflexes had improved as well. Lexa still had to hold back of course it would probably take Marie a few weeks if not month to match up to her.

Clarke was surprised to see how well Marie seemed to do in the training. The girl’s movements seemed controlled and precise already. “She seems to do fine already” Clarke commented to Anya after a few minutes of silent watch. The general looked to the blonde girl shortly and nodded with an unreadable expression “She is trained by the best after all.”

Clarke obviously had no idea what to answer to that statement so silence settled between them once again. But Anya could see that the younger woman clearly still wanted to tell her something. It took Clarke a few moments before she started again lowly so that only they would be able to understand the words “I am truly sorry for leaving you behind, Anya. I know that I would not have escaped without your help. And I am honestly relived to see that you are doing better.”

The girl’s blue eyes portrayed her honesty and Anya simply nodded in acknowledgement for now. She had not expected Clarke to speak to her about the Mountain at all. What was done, was done. Clarke must have interpreted her silence differently because she added “I truly had no idea you had survived being shot. And I have asked Octavia to look at the drop ship if your coat is still there or not.”

Anya looked at the other girl obviously surprised now “That is very ….” She paused “… considerate of you. I appreciate that.”

Clarke looked slightly pleased but focused her attention back to Lexa and Marie still sparring with each other while silence settled between them once more but now it felt more companiable.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 47  
> The people of TonDC have openly welcomed Marie into Trikru. Clarke reported the message on the radio from Jasper to the commander. Skykru beside from Clarke and Major Byrne leave TonDC, while Lincoln and Bellamy leave to get to the Mountain. Lexa and Marie train with each other while Clarke speaks with Anya trying to ease their strained relationship.

Chapter 48

They only stopped their training when scouts came to the training pit telling the commander that the other generals would arrive in the next hour. Marie was thankful for the reprieve as Lexa had started to really test her limits in the last hour or so. The girl had a split lip and her arms felt slightly strained. She was completely out of breath and felt ready to collapse.

Lexa took the staff from Marie’s hand and squeezed her shoulder gently once and told the girl with a pleased shine to her eyes “You did well. You are improving fast now.” Marie beamed with the compliment and smiled widely at Lexa even shortly glancing at Anya. The older woman still stood next to Clarke and nodded to Marie in acknowledgment with a faint smile on her features.

“Go and wash up” Lexa told her charge “You will sit in on the war meetings. You need to learn strategical thinking as well.” Marie immediately nodded and hurried back to their tent where she knew a bucket with clean water would already be waiting for her.

Lexa told Clarke that they would begin the war council immediately when the generals arrived in TonDC and the blonde excused herself to fresh up and eat something. Gustus and Aleo silently followed the commander from the training pits with Anya. The general wanted to get her bandages changed again before they would start as well.

“Some of the others might question your choice to keep me close” Anya cautioned while Nyko untied the bandage around her midriff. Lexa nodded with a slightly bored expression “Let them”. “I still have failed you, Lexa” Anya retorted a tad bit agitated now. Lexa shook her head with a slight frown on her face “There is always the possibility to lose a battle. You did not fail me, you returned to my side after all.” There was conviction in Lexa’s green eyes so Anya chose to let the matter rest although she still worried about the reception she would get from the other generals. She knew that not all of them would be as welcoming to her as the people of TonDC had been.

But the other generals barely reacted to Anya at all. Their reactions were much clearer when Marie entered the building where the war council met a few minutes later. Quint was the one to react most viciously and a snarl set on his face disdain evident on his face when he saw the blond girl. Marie had looked up at the burly man with a startled expression and stopped abruptly in her tracks.

Lexa glared in warning at Quint and put a hand on Marie’s shoulder protectively while she let her gaze travel over her assembled generals. After a moment of tense silence the commander said clearly “Most of you have not met Anya’s and my new second. It is true, Marie is born of Skykru. But she is now marked as one of us and as the commander’s second” with that she slightly turned Marie around which elicited a confused glance from Marie and brushed the girl’s long hair to the side revealing her neck. Just above the collar of her coat the tattoo ended with a few branches of the tree visible in which the commander’s holy sign was intertwined.

The generals all looked at the visible mark with unconcealed astonishment but Quint deflated visibly and nodded mutely now staring silently at the large table between them. Lexa gently pushed Marie to stand beside Anya and they now only waited for Clarke’s arrival.

In the meantime Lexa reported to her generals that they now had a truce with Skykru and that they would attack the Mountain together. Some of the generals reacted with obvious unease to that piece of news. Anya could even understand their reluctance to some extent but she also understood that they needed Skykru’s knowledge of technology to match up to the Mountain men.

Clarke it seemed had been productive in the hour. When she came into the room followed by Major Byrne who had a hand on a Skykru weapon Clarke had some parchment in her arms. She opened out the parchment to reveal maps of Mountain she had hastily drawn on the parchment. Lexa looked mildly impressed at the images.

Apart from the little information Anya had provided on the outline of the Mountain they had absolutely no idea how the interior of the Mountain was designed. Clarke seemed to know much more of that as it seemed. The maps clearly outlined the different levels of the Mountain, the functions the levels had and the entrances and exits Clarke had heard about. Some part of the maps were greyed out for spaces where Clarke could not remember what was supposed to be inside.

Clarke although completely ignored the glares that most of the generals were sending her. Anya watched as Quint now focused his resentment on the blonde Skykru leader. She knew that Quint’s brother had been with her when Clarke had burnt all the warriors outside of their metal ship.

Lexa completely ignored the man’s anger as well and instead asked Clarke to tell them what they knew of the Mountain Men for sure by now.

Clarke retold what she had already told Lexa a few days ago “I have escaped the Mountain together with Anya. Hundreds of your people are trapped in their in cages. Their blood is being used as medicine to heal the Mountain Men of radiation poisoning. My people are prisoners there, too, as we now know for sure.”

The commander nodded to Clarke and said “The goal is clear. Fell the Mountain once and for all!”

The generals scattered around the room nodded. Anya knew they would even be willing to work with Skykru if that meant eliminating the Mountain Men for good. The Mountain had cast a shadow over them for too long.

However it became clear pretty quickly that getting into the Mountain was the main problem. Most of the generals were sure that their size of the army would be force enough to siege the Mountain.

They argued back and forth for what felt like hours. Anya was finding it increasingly harder to remain standing straight as the time passed with no mutual consent so far. She could also Lexa’s patience waning out the tightening of her jaw a dead give-away to those who knew the woman better.

It was Quint who finally lost his patience and roared “This argument is a waste of time! It is simple. If they can’t breathe our air why not just open the door and be done with it? Let them burn!”

Marie looked at the man with an unconvinced expression in her grey eyes. If opening the door would be easy they would have surely won against the Mountain in the past already. The generals on the other hand seemed to like that idea and approval resonated through the room.

“No, because they have a containment system, multiple airlocks just like we had on the Ark” Clarke argued against Quint’s point “Our inside man can get that down.”

“If he gets inside” Quint retorted scornfully and crossed his arms over his chest. Lexa had let them argue among themselves for now only listening but now she intervened “What if we shut it down from the outside? You say the dam gives them power. Let’s take that away.”

“That dam withstood a nuclear war, commander. I highly doubt…” Clarke said but was interrupted by Quint smashing his fists onto the table angrily. Marie jumped slightly next to Anya startled at the sudden loud noise.

“All she offers is “no”” Quint seethed to Lexa his eyes blazing angrily.

“Quint…” Lexa cautioned the general with a silent warning and glared at the impatient warrior.

“Apologies, commander. But the biggest army we’ve ever had waits for us to give it a mission. The longer that takes, the more of our people die inside that mountain” Quint said trying to control his emotions.

Clarke’s comment didn’t help with that when she said “It’s the same for all of us.”

“We’ve lost thousands” Quint snarled at Clarke turning to her “How many have you lost, girl?” He stared at Clarke for a moment before he continued “She says she has a plan. I say waiting for one man to get inside is not a very good one.” He shook his head at the last part to emphasise his point and a younger general directly agreed with him “I agree with Quint. We have an army. Let’s use it.”

“We will after Bellamy lowers their defences, turns off the acid fog” Clarke interjected her voice increasing in volume “I don’t care how many men you have. If you can’t get to your enemy, you can’t win.”

“You are the enemy” Quint had obviously finally reached the end of his patience and his eyes blazed dangerously. Anya felt Marie stepping even closer to her and saw Major Byrne stepping closer to Clarke when the blonde had turned to face the incensed warrior.

“I am sorry. Have I done something to offend you?” she asked the man her eyes unyielding. Lexa seemed to take even breath to calm herself slightly as the situation threatened to get out of hand.

“Yes” Quint answered in a deadly serious voice “You burnt my brother alive in a ring of fire.”

Anya could see Clarke falter for a second before she straightened again and fully faced Quint standing nearly nose to nose with the man “He shouldn’t have attacked my ship.”

“You’re very brave under the commander’s protection, aren’t you?” Quint seethed at Clarke with glinting eyes.

_“Enough”_ Lexa finally interjected to diffuse the situation before Quint would really attack Clarke.

_“I can’t be in an alliance with these people”_ Quint proclaimed while turning away from Clarke with his lips pressed together and started to walk away from the table. He had not been given the permission to leave the gathering so he would stay until it was called to an end.

“Quint’s right” Lexa finally said towards Clarke “Waiting for Bellamy is not a plan. It is a prayer. One not likely to be answered.”

Clarke seemed to have to hold back a retort and settled on “Excuse me. I need some air”. Anya watched the blonde leader leave the room closely followed by Major Byrne while Quint looked at least slightly satisfied for now. Lexa intently studied the maps on the table to search for something they had not thought of until now.

“Come” Anya said to Marie. She also needed to get away for now. She could barely conceal the pain in her midriff anymore and needed to be away from the other generals for now.

Marie silently followed Anya out of the building and watched as Clarke went to enter the woods at the outskirt of TonDC. She had stopped to talk with Major Byrne and the woman let her go on her own for now obviously.

Anya had led Marie to Nyko’s hut to ask the healer for a tea against the constant pain. The man quickly threw together some herbs and Anya drank the foul tasting liquid keeping a completely straight face. After a few moments Anya straightened herself up again and led Marie back to the fighting pits, she needed to vent off at least some frustration. On the way to the fighting pits Marie saw Quint also leave TonDC in the same direction Clarke had gone only a few minutes ago.

She highly doubted that fighting was something Anya should be doing right now but when she had cautiously tried to voice her opinion Anya had just pursed her lips and handed her a staff.

Reluctantly Marie did spar with Anya a few moments later. She had not expected Anya to be this strong again and the girl lay coughing on the ground a second later trying to get air back into her burning lungs.

Anya just silently waited for Marie to get back up and fixed her with a stare that clearly told Marie that Anya really wanted her to try beating her, so she did. After only a few minutes Marie regretted her struggle though as she had truly managed to hit Anya. Her staff had connected with a thumping noise with Anya’s midriff and the woman hissed painfully. Out of shock Marie actually let go of her staff and looked at Anya with huge worried eyes.

Anya cautiously touched the bandage under her shirt and cursed under her breath when her fingers came back slightly coated in fresh blood. She must have pulled some stiches. Marie looked close to burst into tears when Lexa suddenly appeared behind them.

The commander had seen them spar and Marie getting a hit into Anya. With worry she noted the blood on Anya’s hand so she turned to Gustus “Bring her to Nyko.”

When Anya made to open her mouth to retort something angrily Lexa only glared at her and the woman shut her mouth again. Marie looked completely lost and her lips were quivering slightly as she stared at Anya’s bloodied fingers.

Lexa held the girl back when she made to follow Gustus and Anya to Nyko’s hut. She had expected Clarke to be somewhere near and she wanted to continue the war council but she had not seen Clarke anywhere. “Have you seen Clarke anywhere?” she asked the girl.

Marie’s eyes snapped to her as she had watched Anya’s retreat before and told her that she had went into woods and pointed the direction as an after-thought the girl added “Quint also went there later”.

Lexa seemed to grind her teeth together in anger, fearing to know already what might have happened “Come, we will search for Clarke and Quint.” The commander nodded to Aleo who silently followed them, leaving TonDC behind them.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I hope you still like my progress. I have started to take up writing again :)  
> But unfortunately working life gets busier at the moment with each day :(
> 
> Previously in chapter 48  
> The generals of Trikru arrive in TonDC and Lexa starts her war council, proclaiming Marie as her second again. Clarke and Quint have an argument and Clarke leaves TonDC alone. Marie sees Quint later follow in the same direction. Gustus and Anya go to Nyko, while Marie accompanies Lexa and Aleo to look for Clarke in the woods.

Chapter 49

Lexa seemed to sense that something wasn’t right when both Clarke and Quint were nowhere to be found in TonDC so she hurried them through the woods. Marie had to run to keep up with Lexa’s fast strides.

It did not take them long to hear a commotion not far from them. As they hurried closer Marie just saw Quint attacking Clarke throwing himself onto her body. In lightning speed Lexa had pulled one of her daggers and when Quint made to kill Clarke with his sword drawn Lexa through her dagger. Marie shortly admired the great precision Lexa obviously had with the dagger as the blade imbedded itself only moments later in Quint’s outstretched arm making the man turn with widened eyes to his attacker.

Aleo had also drawn his sword and they now surrounded Quint who held his wounded arm in front of his body protectively. Lexa just bent down and quickly pulled her dagger out of his arm which made Quint groan in obvious pain.

_“Attack her and you attack me”_ Lexa said to the man towering above him while Aleo still had his sword ready to strike the warrior down should he try anything.

“Thank you” Clarke said breathlessly after getting up from the ground and she now had a pistol trained on Quint.

“Where is your guard?” Lexa asked Clarke with annoyance in her voice. It was irresponsible for a leader to leave a camp unsupervised. Even she as the commander rarely left without guards at her side.

“He killed her” Clarke answered instantly although Marie thought that unlikely somehow.

_“She lies”_ Quint said still lying on the ground between them as he turned to the commander he added _“My fight is only with her”._

_“Your fight is over”_ Lexa deadpanned seriously. She had made it clear that Skykru were not to be harmed and attacking another clan’s leader was always a serious crime. Marie could see Quint’s eyes widening slightly as if the man had not anticipated the outcome of his doings at all.

“The kill is yours Clarke” Lexa said to the blonde and put her dagger away again now that the threat was handled.

Marie could see Clarke swallowing uncomfortably and the fingers holding her pistol were visibly shaking. Lexa was gauging Clarke’s reaction and noted her reluctance to kill Quint with silent disdain, leading people always meant hard choices.

The situation abruptly changed when a loud roar resonated through the woods still a slight distance away. Marie looked to Lexa in confusion who had whipped around to the direction where the roar had come from. “What was that?” Marie asked slightly worried. She had a distinct idea what it might have been, but she hoped to be wrong.

_“Pauna”_ Lexa almost whispered fear flashing up in her eyes. In a split decision Lexa took her sword out and slashed into Quint’s legs. The warrior fell with a surprised scream while Lexa shouted at them to run away.

They ran in the opposite direction of the roars that clearly became louder and closer each passing second. Marie could hear what sounded like trees snapping behind them and a few moments later they could distantly make out Quint’s screams mixed in between the roars.

Lexa pushed the girl ahead when Marie started to slow slightly and loudly proclaimed “We need to hide” looking around them desperately for a place to hide from the beast that would reach them in a few seconds.

Suddenly Clarke changed her direction and called behind them “This way. I found something” Clarke stood in front of what looked to be an old huge pipe that was closed by a metal grate. Aleo quickly helped her with pulling the grate aside and they slipped into the pipe.

But the escape route Clarke had found did turn out to be in fact the way to the feeding ground of the creature. Parts of animal corpses lay scattered everywhere with piles of bones. Marie scrunched her face up in disgust as flies swarmed around the older corpses and the smell of the place was anything but nice, her stomach churned slightly.

Before they had a chance to really look for a better place to hide they could hear the creature approaching them quicker. Both Lexa and Aleo pulled their swords ready to defend themselves when suddenly the huge gorilla jumped from the edge of the wood right onto Aleo. The beast smashed its fists into the man a few times and threw the unconscious man into the opposite wall with a sickening crunching sound. It was obvious the warrior was dead instantly.

The beast pounded his fists onto its chest a few times before it roared at them loudly. Lexa had positioned herself slightly in front of Marie to guard the girl from the attack she was sure would follow soon. Clarke had shot at the beast with her pistol but that only seemed to incense the creature as it threw a large stone into their direction with another loud roar which rang uncomfortably in Marie’s ears.

Clarke fired a few more times at the gorilla and the beast fell backwards into a small precipice. Marie let out a relived breath as they had seemed to win against the gorilla. They were all panting slightly when suddenly the gorilla started to climb up from the precipice into their direction. “Run” Lexa screamed and pulled Marie in the other direction away from the beast.

They managed to escape the gorilla for a short amount of time before the beast spotted them again. They stood in front of a railing under which an abyss with a small opening was visible. Without any better idea Clarke sprang down the abyss. Lexa pushed Marie to follow the older blonde girl and sheathed her sword into place. Marie managed to land without hurting herself and followed Clarke to the opening before she heard Lexa crying out in obvious pain. The commander had obviously not landed well and had hurt herself on the impact.

“Lexa” Marie shouted worried and ran back to the commander just like Clarke also did. Together they helped Lexa up and had the commander lean on themselves in support to get her to the opening. Clarke climbed through the small opening first followed by Marie. Before Lexa could follow them the gorilla was on her and pulled on her leg roaring angrily.

“Leave me” the commander shouted when both Marie and Clarke tried to help her.

“No way” Clarke loudly declared and started to shoot at the beast with her pistol again. The beast did not seem to let ago so Marie had also taken her own dagger aimed it at the beast’s head and threw the blade with all her might. The blade landed in a perfect hit in one of the creature’s eyes. The gorilla seemed to howl in pain and suddenly let go of Lexa’s leg. Clarke immediately pulled Lexa through the opening kicking away the metal rod which had held it open.

Marie registered with widening eyes that they had run into a deadlock. Clarke closed the next door behind them while Marie searched the small room for another exit but she could not detect one. Lexa panted heavily and cradled one of her arms in front of her chest.

Clarke took Lexa’s sword to block the door from the inside while the angry roars outside got louder and more frequent. Marie watched Lexa worriedly lean on a pillar her face contorted in obvious pain. The girl had never seen the ever stoic commander in any physical pain and the sight somehow frightened her deeply.

She also recognized with a sad feeling that she had already lost the dagger now. She felt the now empty scabbard on her thigh. Marie guessed that Lexa or Anya would surely be able to get another knife for her but it would not be the same.

Lexa watched the girl hover in front of her. The grey eyes clearly portrayed the girl’s distress and worry. After having secured the door Clarke had ripped a strip of fabric from her shirt to make a make-shift sling for the commander’s arm. Lexa let the blonde leader tie her hurt arm in front of her chest saying in a serious voice “You have left me behind. Now three will die here, instead of one”.

Marie swallowed uncomfortably. Would Lexa really have just sacrificed her for them? Before she could say that she would never have just left the commander behind, Clarke spoke up “I am still new to your culture, but when someone saves your life, my people say thank you.”

“I am serious Clarke” Lexa continued still serious while Clarke tested the grate on the other site “To lead well, you must make hard choices.

“Hard choices?” Clarke asked almost sounding mocking “You are telling me that…”

“I have seen your strength, it is true” Lexa answered still calm “But now you waver. You couldn’t kill Quint, you couldn’t leave me to die. That was weakness.”

“I thought love was weakness” Clarke retorted angrily. Marie stayed silent and just watched their confrontation. It was obvious Lexa was distressed.

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke” Lexa answered.

“You wanna know why I saved you?” Clarke had turned to Lexa again “Because I need you. God forbid one of your generals becomes commander. You may be heartless, Lexa, but at least you are smart.”

Marie pursued her lips silently. What she had seen from the commander until now was anything but heartless. To Marie's puzzlement Lexa actually smiled slightly when she answered Clarke “Don’t worry. My spirit will chose much more wisely than that.”

“Your spirit?” Clarke asked obviously confused. Marie had heard some things from Anya about the commander’s spirit already so what Lexa said next was not completely new to the girl. “When I die, my spirit will find the next commander.”

“Reincarnation” Clarke said almost just to herself “That’s how you became commander?”

“How are your leaders chosen?” Lexa asked with open interest.

Before Clarke could answer the commander’s question a loud roar resonated from the other side of the door and the door shook when the beast started to pound on it from the other side. Marie shrieked lowly and Lexa shoved the girl behind herself. “It found us” Clarke panted with wide eyes.

“Do not be afraid Clarke” Lexa said completely calm “Death is not the end.”

“We are not dying here” Clarke countered sounding slightly angry “I need your spirit to stay where it is.”

“Stay behind me” Lexa ordered to Marie and pulled out her dagger “Then get ready to fight, he is coming in.”

“Maybe we let it in” Clarke said suddenly as if she had an idea and sprinted past Lexa who watched the other leader with a confused stare.

Clarke had moved to the door and said urgently to them “Come here”. Both Marie and Lexa hastened to follow her order and Marie stood pressed beside Lexa at the door. The sword was already deformed and would not hold the door for much longer.

“Now!” Clarke suddenly shouted and pushed the sword out of the brackets. It fell to the ground with a clinking sound and not a second later the door was almost blasted open by the impact of the gorilla. The creature bounced into the small room looking for them. Clarke had pushed Marie through the door already and said loudly to Lexa to go. She left the room last and hastened to pull the door closed behind them securing the door on the other side with a heavy metal hatch.

Marie looked at the door with widened eyes the gorilla had already started to pound against the door angrily now shut into the small room. She silently wondered how long it would take the beast to escape its prison. To her great wonder she saw something gleaming next to her feet and found her dagger lying on the ground. With a disgusted face she removed some of the blood from the blade by rubbing some leaves over the metal. With a small happy smile the girl put her dagger back where it belonged and smiled at Lexa who had watched her silently.

“Let’s go” Clarke said wanting to get as much distance to the door as possible before the beast would break free.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooow, chapter 50, I can't believe this has gotten so long already...
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 49  
> Lexa safes Clarke from Quint and together they try to run from the gorilla. They stumble into the old zoo, where Lexa hurts herself and they finally escape from the beast shutting it into an old cage. They make camp for the night in the woods.

Chapter 50

They quickly made their way to leave the feeding ground of the gorilla. Clarke identified the old structure as what must have been a zoo. Lexa had read of the term in an old book but had not thought that something like that had endured the end of the world. Marie tried to assist Lexa in climbing over some of the obstacles on their way back into the woods and they walked for what felt like an hour or two before they could not hear the roaring of the gorilla anymore. Marie hoped that once the beast would break down the door they would be back at TonDC but she really had no idea how far away that might be and she could see Lexa grimacing with every step. The commander obviously tried to conceal her pain but if you looked closely enough you could still see it in the tightening of her yaw and the effort in her green eyes.

“Should we take a break?” Marie suggested faintly. She thought that Lexa should rest and she also felt the strain of the day quite clearly. The commander contemplated their position to TonDC and how long they would need to reach the village. It was starting to turn dark and she knew that travelling through the woods in her state and with Clarke unarmed and Marie too inexperienced to really help in a fight it was unwise to do so. So she reluctantly nodded although she could clearly picture Gustus and Anya worrying back in TonDC both of them must have caught on with the fact that she was not simply taking a walk through the woods. It had been hours since they left TonDC.

Lexa had let them continue for some more moments until she found a place she was satisfied to settle for the night. Under her guidance Marie constructed a small camp fire smiling proudly when she got the logs burning after only two tries. Lexa had set down propped up slightly against a tree log. Clarke also watched the girl’s efforts with a furrowed brow. The blonde leader had clearly not expected the other girl to adapt o Trikru as quickly and as easily as it seemed.

“You can rest” Lexa said to Clarke “We will take the first watch.”

Clarke seemed to think the offer over a moment before she nodded and laid down next to the small fire.

_“Come here”_ Lexa said to Marie and the girl obediently sat down next to Lexa eying the commander still with worry in her eyes.

_“I will be fine”_ Lexa said wanting to ease the girl’s worry before she hardened her eyes slightly and continued in a firm tone _“When you are given a command by me, I expect you to follow that. To the point and without hesitation.”_

Marie looked slightly downtrodden. The girl knew what Lexa meant _“But I could not simply let that beast kill you and watch you die, Lexa”_

The commander’s lips thinned slightly _“The day will come, when you must. I am just the vessel of the commander’s spirit and when I fall and my spirit choses the next commander, you will aid the next commander.”_

Marie furrowed her brow and shook her head vehemently _“But you are not just the commander to me, you are Lexa. I could not leave you behind, Lexa.”_

Lexa’s eyes softened slightly on the emphasis of her name in the girl’s words. She had learned from a young age that her own life mattered very little. She was the commander’s vessel and there would always be a commander after her, but she had obviously forgotten that there were people who still cared for her life just for her and not because she was the commander.

_“You are angry with me?”_ the girl questioned in a rather small voice, when Lexa had not said anything again in a few minutes.

Lexa shook her head in the negative and the girl let out a relived breath before her eyes seemed to widen again _“You almost died…”_

As the girl’s words trailed off Lexa could see the girl’s grey eyes starting to water. _“But I did not. Thanks to you and Clarke”_ Lexa said with an honest smile on her face as she offered her uninjured arm to Marie.

The girl scrambled closer to Lexa and cautiously wound her arms around Lexa’s midriff pressing her face against Lexa’s shoulder. When the commander felt her young charge shudder slightly in the weird embrace she knew the girl had started to cry.

_“Shhh”_ Lexa soothed her gently rubbing the girl’s back with her free hand _“I am here and nothing will happen now. We are safe, skaifaya”_

Lexa had no idea if Clarke was feigning to have fallen asleep already or if the blonde Skykru leader really had let her guard down this quickly. The commander in her reeled at the trust such a gesture as falling asleep in another’s presence conveyed. If the roles were reversed Lexa would definitely have declined the offer to sleep. But a small part of her felt slightly honoured that Clarke obviously felt safe enough in their presence to let her guard down.

It did not take Marie long to fall asleep. The girl now slept with her head pillowed by Lexa’s legs while the commander watched the flames and scanned their surroundings every few minutes. Fortunately the woods stayed quite around them apart from the little sounds of the animals moving around them. Absentminded Lexa stroked over Marie’s hair occasionally or twirled her dagger between her fingers. She was used to keeping watch through a night. Although it had always been unlikely that she would need to do such after her nightblood was revealed Anya never distinguished between the duties and lessons she deemed important for Lexa.

The conversation she had had with Clarke encased in the small room flashed through her mind unbidden. Did the other girl really think her heartless? Forming the coalition had not always been easy. She had had to make a few very hard choices locking her heart away solely listening to her head. But she strived to form the coalition for her people, all of her people. Too many children lost their parents in senseless skirmishes for land and resources. She knew that her people would prosper once they had learned to efficiently share and trade their goods and knowledge.

The willingness to sacrifice your own personal feelings and wants was what made her a good commander or so Lexa thought. Her sacrifices would have been worth it when her people would finally have peace. Looking down at the sleeping girl using her legs as pillow Lexa thought that Marie most definitely did not regard her as heartless.

With a huff Lexa wondered why she even cared what the blonde Skykru leader thought of her. She had never before been personally offended when another clan leader insulted her in any way. She was annoyed with herself for feeling slightly hurt. So Lexa firmly banished all of her thoughts from her mind and kept her consciousness solely focused on their surroundings.

The commander did not wake Marie or Clarke to take over the watch. She would not have slept then anyway. The girl had looked peaceful in her slumber although she had some time ago wound her arms around one of Lexa’s legs as if to make sure she was still there. The position was not the most comfortable and due to the girl lying partly on herself she could not move around without waking her. Her shoulder throbbed painfully with every breath she took but she had been hurt far worse before.

When the sun was slowly starting to rise a loud roar resonated through the woods. The sound awoke Clarke and Marie both at the same time. Clarke startled awake and searched their surroundings with startled eyes while Marie shortly tightened her hold on Lexa’s leg before sitting up and stretching slightly.

“It is okay” Lexa said to Clarke “You are safe”. Clarke nodded faintly before she turned around to face Lexa and Marie. Lexa could see Clarke’s eyes widening when she saw the smaller girl sitting completely at ease next to the commander so closely that their legs were touching.

“How is your arm?” Clarke asked after a second with honest eyes. Lexa simply said “hurts” as an answer. She could see Clarke frowning at her nonchalant reaction. The girl could not know that it was an enormous show of trust on the commander’s part to admit to being in pain in front of her. Pain was weakness and with many other clan leaders she could not be this honest but she felt that Clarke would not try to exploit her injury. She had learnt that the girl was a healer of sorts so it must be in her nature to fuss over an injury.

“We should go” Clarke suddenly said standing up “That cage won’t hold forever”. Lexa nodded and Marie also stood up brushing some leaves from her coat as she stood. The commander wondered if the beast was still in the cage or if the loud roar a few moments prior had marked its escape. But she still had to tell the other girl something before they returned to TonDC. Something that she had not managed to push from her mind the whole night.

“Wait” Lexa said to Clarke and stood up coming to stand next to the other leader “I was wrong about you, Clarke. Your heart shows no sign of weakness.” The blonde seemed slightly surprised to hear her say something like that but she just nodded in acceptance before Lexa could see an idea flash in her blue eyes.

“The cage won’t hold” Clarke mumbled before turning back to Lexa and speaking louder again “I think I know how to take Mount Weather. We have been trying to get inside. But they have already let us in”

“What are you talking about?” Lexa asked confused by the other’s thoughts. They were quite obviously all outside of Mount Weather and not inside.

“Your army is already there” Clarke explained with confident words “Locked in cages. We just need someone on the inside to let them out.”

Lexa pondered her words for a moment. They had seen how weak Anya had been when she made it to TonDC. The question was how her health had been before she had been shot by Skykru. And Clarke’s plan was based completely on Bellamy’s ability to infiltrate the Mountain. She still was sure that relying on one man was not a good plan. “So Bellamy” Lexa said her face clearly showing her reluctance to accept such a plan.

But Clarke nodded vigorously so Lexa asked “You have faith in him?”

“I do” Clarke retorted in a heartbeat obviously not doubting Bellamy’s success for a second.

“I hope your faith is well placed” Lexa said still doubtful “Because if he can’t get inside, we can’t win.” She knew that the blonde had a point that her army would be useless against the acid fog. She would just lead her army into their sure death if they could not somehow lower the Mountain’s defences.

“He will” Clarke confirmed again kicking out the fire “Lexa, this is going to work. Come on”

Lexa nodded motioning Marie to come as well. The girl obliged silently without question. In her head Lexa debated how to convince her generals to grant Bellamy a few days to accomplish his task. To her it did not really make a difference how fast they were going to attack. They had already lost thousands to the Mountain. As hard as that sounded she would need to be sure that they had a chance to win before she would order her army to attack. Before they knew that those who entered the Mountain would never return, she would be happy to safe as many of her people as possible, but her priority had to be with those that were outside of the Mountain and to lay waste to the Mountain so finally no one else would get taken there.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a chapter with more dynamic between Lexa, Anya and Marie. I truly enjoy writing about them in a private setting xD
> 
> Previously in chapter 50  
> They have escaped from the gorilla and now walk away from its feeding ground. They rest for the night in the woods. Lexa lectures Marie about her reluctance to leave the commander behind but has to see that the girl cares for her more than just the commander in her. Clarke has the idea to have Bellamy free all the grounders in Mount Weather and they leave their temporary camp in the morning.

Chapter 51

Lexa guided them through the woods with a fast pace eager to return to TonDC. She knew her people would start to get anxious when it was discovered that their commander had gone missing. Marie’s stamina had already improved somewhat so the young girl had it easier to keep up with Lexa’s fast strides. But it was obvious that Clarke was struggling with their pace combined with the uneven ground of the woods. So Lexa reigned in her impatience and slowed them down slightly.

It took until early midday to reach the perimeter covered with scouts from TonDC. Two warriors suddenly dropped out of trees in front of them with their weapons drawn. They hastily put their swords into their sheaths when they recognized the commander and bowed reverently. “Alert my guard that I will be in TonDC shortly” Lexa ordered to the younger of them who quickly turned and vanished between the trees in the direction of TonDC. The other warrior looked at her arm still bound by the make-shift sling with a frown but the man dared not to question his commander. A silent waving gesture of Lexa’s hand was enough to make the man return to his watch post in the tree.

The rest of the short walk was spent in silence. On the outskirt of TonDC Lexa could make out Gustus and Anya waiting for their arrival and with a frown she also spotted Indra, Clarke’s mother and the Skykru girl who had taken a liking to Lincoln. The latter should all have been in the Skykru’s settlement. She could see her young charge smiling when she spotted Anya among the small group.

_“What happened?”_ Anya immediately asked when they were in earshot. Gustus and Indra both looked relieved to see their commander return alive.

“We have run into a mutant gorilla” Marie chirped in quickly before Lexa had the chance to respond. Anya’s eyes widened almost comically as did the others. Warriors seldom survived facing a gorilla. The woods around TonDC housed a pair of them and people stayed clear of the area they were known to live. Clarke could not have known that of course.

“Chancellor, what brings you to TonDC?” Lexa formally asked interrupting Marie. Abby had stepped up to Clarke and had checked her daughter over quickly for any visible injuries and was obviously relieved to find her daughter whole and unharmed. “A messenger had told me that Clarke was missing” Abby answered “I wanted to know what had happened to her.” The commander inclined her head in acceptance and offered “Accommodations can be provided for you of course until you return to your settlement.” Abby nodded mutely and Lexa walked past her and Clarke while the rest of the group followed her to her tent.

Lexa sat onto her throne while Gustus summoned Nyko to take a look at her injured arm although she had already told them it was nothing serious.

“Are you hurt as well?” Anya asked Marie slightly concerned although she had not been able to spot any injuries on their charge. Marie shook her head and said “Only Lexa hurt herself when she fell.” Lexa bit her tongue in hidden annoyance she had not planned to reveal that detail. Anya scrunched her brow and questioned “Fell?” Marie animatedly described how they had tried to escape from the gorilla and how Lexa had fallen on the impact from the jump. At the end of their tale Anya smirked at Lexa but fortunately remained silent for now.

Lexa rolled her eyes while Nyko re-entered the tent closely followed by Gustus. The healer quickly examined her arm and came to the same conclusion she already had. It hurt but she could still move the arm and no bones were broken. So it was just an annoying injury and nothing serious.

“And why are you back in TonDC?” Lexa wanted to know from Indra when the healer had left her tent. Marie had gone behind the curtain with Anya and was probably washing herself judging by the occasional sound of a cloth being squeezed out of water.

“Abby had demanded to go to TonDC” Indra explained “I could not let her travel alone and the messenger had already left” Lexa nodded in silent acceptance and Indra continued “I also seek permission to take Octavia from the Sky people as my second.” The dark skinned general shortly gestured to the girl standing behind her. Octavia stood slightly taller when she heard her name and her eyes shown eagerly to be accepted in this new role. Lexa nodded again although she was surprised by this piece of news. Indra had been steadfastly against even considering to take Marie as her second when asked opting to kill the girl instead. So something must have happened between both of them for Indra to agree to take Octavia as her second. Indra rarely took seconds at all so it was a great honour for Octavia to now be the general’s second. The commander dismissed the general and her new second moments later when Marie returned from behind the curtain with Anya.

Her former mentor had a smirk on her face when she teased good-naturedly “So the mighty Heda is defeated by a mere wall in a fight against a gorilla…” Lexa grumbled lowly too low to understand any words which only made Anya laugh out loud. Marie had been watching the exchange with confusion on her face when she caught up with what Anya implied her face fell and she looked at the older woman reproachfully. It was Lexa’s turn to burst out laughing when Marie explained to Anya in a serious tone that making fun of Lexa for that was mean from Anya. The look of utter disbelief on Anya’s face had Lexa forget her slight annoyance in seconds. Marie was even more confused by that reaction and looked at Lexa questioningly “What is funny now?” her voice had a hint of a pout in it and Lexa sobered quickly still chuckling slightly she answered “You managed to shut Anya up. Not such a small feat.” Now Anya lightly glared at the commander but kept silent for now. Lexa had a soft expression on her face when she complimented Marie “How you managed to hit the gorilla in the eyes was also a great feat.” The girl seemed to glow under her praise and smiled widely at Lexa.

Anya wanted to know what exactly she meant by that but Lexa let Marie tell the other woman about that. So the commander just listened as Marie recollected how she had saved Lexa with Clarke. Anya looked slightly impressed at the girl’s involvement but Lexa could see a flash of concern in her brown eyes when the woman realized how close to death Lexa really had been.

Anya was relieved to see Lexa smiling even just for short moments. When the commander had sent her away from Polis she knew that a part of Lexa had died alongside Costia. It seemed that Marie had helped Lexa in a way no one else had been able to so far.

Even for herself there had been a time when she had lost sight of the sense of all the fighting. She had just lost her younger sister to the Mountain and a few weeks later a group of bandits from Azgeda had attacked the small journey of merchants traveling from Polis back into their villages in Trikru. Her older brother had been with them and with him the last part of her family had died. Anya had been consumed with grief and a blind thirst for revenge, she had barely finished her own education as a second. Her own mentor had watched her spiral into the abyss of anger and hate. When she had joined a group of young Trikru soldiers to raid Azgeda villages next to their borders and had barely survived their insane skirmish her mentor had taken her to the side again. She had raged at the older woman that with the death of her family and everyone she had cared about there was no sense in fighting anymore. The woman had let her rage for as long as she wanted baring the storm of her emotion without reacting to them. When her rage had burnt down and all that was left was emptiness her mentor had taken her to another village. She had been introduced to a small orphaned child, a boy named Thaim. Her mentor had told her to take care of him and she would learn again why they would forever continue to fight. She had been right. Taking care and training a child had awakened something within her again and so it seemed to have also now happened to Lexa.

The commander was pleased to hear that Anya and Gustus had kept her disappearance mostly silent. Her army would most likely not have reacted well to the news that their commander and the Skykru leader had gone missing together. Anya also seemed to do better. Marie had obviously re-opened part of the wound when her staff had hit her but according to Nyko the wound was healing nicely.

Lexa told Anya of the plan Clarke had come up with “If Bellamy gets into the Mountain, he can free our people and we already have an army inside.” Her voice sounded slightly faltering even to her own ears. And her doubts were directly reflected on her former mentors face. “Her plan has a huge flaw” Anya said after a few moments of silence “Most of our people locked there in cages won’t be able to fight. I was barely able to walk, I would not have been able to escape without Clarke. They keep us in a sort of daze with something they inject.” Lexa grinded her teeth together mutely deep in thought, that was exactly what she had feared “Clarke is right that we need the acid fog gone, leading the army against Mount Weather would just kill us all otherwise.” Anya nodded with a contemplative expression but she had no alternative plan to offer.

They were interrupted when Gustus proclaimed Clarke’s arrival. The blonde girl stormed into the tent with purposeful strides and directly said “I will leave to Arkadia now, with my mother. I need to know, if Bellamy has checked in yet. And maybe Raven can up with something to destroy the dam.”

The commander nodded “Indra and a few of my warriors will escort you to your settlement. And you will be assigned a personal guard.” Clarke opened her mouth obviously intent to reject the offered guard but Lexa continued not giving her the opportunity to speak her mind “As a leader of your people you need to be guarded, Clarke” when the other still looked at her sceptically Lexa added “Even I have guards with me at all times. The generals of the other clans are expected to arrive in the next two days, you will be needed here for the next war council.” The blonde sighed still reluctant but nodded her consent.

The commander had quickly organised a small group of warriors to escort Skykru back to their camp as well as scouts to search the way beforehand. Lexa had given Indra strict orders on who to listen to in the Skykru camp should there be any problem. For her it remained true that Clarke was Skykru’s leader and not her mother. The commander had made sure that they would be riding to their settlement or they would not reach it until night. Marie and Anya had watched how both Clarke and Abby were helped onto a horse and the girl was snickering quietly at the open fright on Abby’s face. She had come to love the big animals but obviously the others still needed to see what she loved about them.

Just as the small group had ridden out of sight from TonDC another group arrived in TonDC from the opposite direction. Marie could see Anya stiffening slightly next to her and she cast the woman a worried glance and Lexa had quickly removed the bandage around her arm. The newcomers dismounted in perfect sync but it was obvious they were not welcomed in TonDC judging from the glares they received. The commander approached the small group with a carefully blank face and greeted the general who had led the group. “They are Ice Nation, are they not?” Marie whispered to Anya to which the woman only gave a curt nod her eyes not leaving the other warriors. After they had discarded their hoods Marie could see scars forming patterns on their faces and their armour was aligned with fur which she had not seen with Trikru soldiers.

The tension was diffused somewhat when another group entered TonDC on horseback. Their clothes were completely different from Trikru, while Trikru mostly wore dark and earthy colours, those people wore light clothes. The one proceeding the group had some bright yellow strips of cloth interwoven in her dark blonde hair. “Desert clan” Anya said when Marie looked at her questioningly.

A few buildings had been cleared in TonDC and extra tents had been set up to house the generals and attendants of the other clans.

The night was interrupted time and time again by generals arriving in TonDC and the commander was barely able to catch any sleep. Lexa did not want to keep on waking up Anya and Marie who lay beside her bed on their furs. After the second time she had been woken by Gustus Lexa opted to rest sitting on her throne. Annoyed the commander wondered if the generals had planned their arrival in the middle of the night just to spite her. But they were finally getting what she had promised when she had started to form the coalition. Her strongest argument in the beginning had been that they could just fell the mountain if they combined their strength which made her wonder what would happen to her coalition if they truly succeeded to win this war?


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go another chapter :)  
> Sorry for the longer wait, I simply did not have the time to upload anything ...  
> But I should have more time next week.
> 
> Previously in chapter 51  
> Lexa, Clarke and Marie return to TonDC. Clarke leaves for Arkadia with her mother, Indra and a few warriors. The first generals of the other twelve clans start to arrive in TonDC.

Chapter 52

When Marie woke the next morning she was still snuggled up to Anya. Cautiously she extracted herself from the still sleeping woman. Through the thin material of the tent she could see that the sun had not started to rise yet and a glance at Lexa’s bed showed the absence of the other woman. Marie noted with a frown that the commander’s bed looked untouched and she wondered if Lexa had slept at all last night. Silently Marie tiptoed behind the curtain and made a surprised sound when she found Lexa dozing lightly on her throne still dressed in full armour. The sound however faint it had been startled Lexa awake instantly and Marie noticed the dark shadows under the green eyes indicating the exhaustion the other woman must feel. “Can I get you anything?” the girl asked in a kind voice reflecting her worry for the commander. Lexa tiredly rubber her eyes and let out a hiss when she moved her injured arm forgetting momentarily of the injury. Having slept sitting clad in full armour had aggravated the discomfort she felt and her shoulder seemed to give a slight painful throb with every heartbeat.

“You can get Nyko” Lexa said to the girl to which she nodded enthusiastic to be helpful in any way, as an afterthought the commander added “But I do not want you wandering TonDC on your own now”. Marie pursed her lips slightly but nodded. Silently she thought that she could defend herself if needed. To the girl’s discomfort only Gustus stood post at the entrance of the commander’s tent. Marie still couldn’t really muster the courage to look at the man. Gustus of course instantly agreed to accompany the girl to the healer’s hut. On their way to Nyko Marie could spot various new arrivals in TonDC. All of them seemed to turn their heads when Gustus and she walked past them. Fortunately no one dared to approach Gustus who was known as the commander’s personal guard.

Gustus was slightly unnerved by the girl’s sudden quietness around him, he had come to like the child’s chirpy talkativeness. To finally clear the tenseness between them he pulled Marie to the side before they entered Nyko’s hut. The sudden alarm flashing across Marie’s eyes only convinced Gustus that he really needed to talk with the girl urgently. He slightly crouched down before the girl to be on the same level with her which only made her eyes widen in obvious confusion. Silently Gustus wondered if Marie really had feared that he would attack her out of revenge for Sierra. “Listen to me” Gustus said to the girl in an even honest voice his dark eyes boring into hers “And listen well, because I will not repeat myself.” The girl nodded mutely so Gustus continued “I do not blame you for Sierra’s death” when the girl made to open her mouth Gustus shook his head and said “I do not! You did the right thing. I should not have taken the blame for her sins, Marie.” “But you had to …” Marie tried with an unsteady voice “…to cut into her and all because of me…” Gustus again shook his head “You still do not understand what such an execution means to us” When the girl looked at him with confused grey eyes he added “I would have put shame to my whole family, my position and the commander if I had been executed while Sierra lived. No matter what sins you might have committed, by accepting the death of a thousand cuts we clear the culprit. If a member of your family is to be executed it is seen as a dishonour to not participate and by thus not accept the punishment.” Marie still looked slightly confused but she nodded mutely with a cautious expression. More to himself then to Marie he added “And Sierra might have even tried again to go against the alliance later." Marie tentatively smiled at the burly man who nodded once more to her and stood up opening the healer’s hut as he did.

Nyko immediately gathered what he might need for the commander and they together quickly made their way back to the commander’s tent. When they entered Anya had also already gotten up and was sipping a steaming cup of tea. Alira was still bustling through the tent after helping the commander doffing off her armour. The healer made Lexa a special brew that should keep her alert through the day despite her lack of sleep and applied a paste to the injured shoulder to aid in the healing and to take the edge of the pain. He also checked on Anya’s injury removing the dressing carefully. The healer was obviously satisfied with the healing progress but demanded that the general still should take it easy for the next days or she might undo the healing progress.

“How many clans have already arrived?” Anya asked when Alira and Nyko had left and they had sat down to have a quick breakfast together. “Seven so far, but the others are expected here until tomorrow night when the war council will take place” Lexa answered grimacing at the bitter taste of the brew Nyko had provided her with. “Do you want some honey?” Marie offered a small pot to the commander. After Alira had seen how much the girl clearly enjoyed a bit of honey on a slice of bread and to sweeten tea she made sure to always provide a small pot with every meal she brought to them. But the commander shook her head declining the offer seeing the small frown forming on their charge’s face she explained “This tonic doesn’t mix well with honey. It counteracts some of the effects so you need to drink it as it is.” “Oh” Marie said in a sympathetic tone. “Marie should not wander TonDC on her own now that other clans have arrived with their delegations” Lexa said to Anya and Gustus who both nodded while Marie looked slightly glum. Anya shot the girl a warning glare and admonished her “Not all the clans will accept Skykru as friendly as Trikru has” “But I am Trikru now, am I not?” the girl asked in a defiant tone. “For those unfamiliar with you and Skykru it will only amplify their distrust that you have been integrated in Trikru this quickly and that I have put you under the commander’s protection will certainly add to that” Lexa tried to explain to the girl who now nodded in understanding.

After their breakfast Lexa made a round through TonDC. Because Anya still had to take it easy Lexa had outright forbidden her general to train Marie in combat for the next days. The commander and Gustus would later take some time to continue their training. Anya had grumbled the whole time until they stepped outside of the tent her face becoming expressionless but still clearly annoyed by the orders.

The commander checked in with all the delegations that had arrived so far to confirm that each had settled well into their temporary accommodations. Tensions were running high in TonDC and it was obvious that some of the clans would have rather liked to already start fighting each other which made Lexa wonder again how she was supposed to keep the coalition together should the Mountain fall. None of the generals outright said anything to Marie’s presence but the judging glances were enough to show Marie that Lexa had been right and she would avoid going through TonDC on her own from now on. While some of the delegations such as Floukru had only seemed intrigued by the blonde girl others like Azgeda had looked had her with open hate and distrust.

Marie noticed that the warriors which had erected their tents in the free spaces TonDC had were dismantling the tents again. When she questioned Anya for the reason the general told her that the village was too small to house the army so that the warriors would fan out in the woods around TonDC leaving only a small delegation including the generals to settle in the heart of TonDC instead.

Later their training garnered some of the delegations towards the training pits. Marie was handed some knives to show off her skills with throwing them. A second from the desert clan bolder then the others asked since when the girl has been trained. When answered that her training just started a few days ago all the assembled seemed impressed. Even her skills with a bow were enough to show off with the information that she also had never held a bow prior to getting to earth. The Azgeda general scorned at the girl when Gustus had taken position opposite of her to start actual combat training. Marie had already improved a lot compared to the very first training session but she still stood no chance against Gustus and being watched by so many had made the girl nervous and flimsy tripping over her own feat in the first round. Anya could see the Azgeda general smirking down at the girl whispering a taunt to a warrior next to him who burst out laughing. What they both had not expected was for the girl to quickly spring back to her feet with an ambitious glint in her eyes and made a quick combination of attacks on Gustus. She did not bring him to his back but she did get a hit in successfully.

“Enough” Lexa suddenly proclaimed nodding at the girl with appraisal in her green eyes. Marie straightened her back and wiped the sweat from her brow. They had succeeded to show that Marie had started her training and showed some talent which had been the whole point of this upset.

The commander had to leave to greet the broad leave clan delegation. At the same time Indra came back to TonDC with Octavia in tow. Anya brought Indra to the commander’s tent to wait for Lexa who returned a few minutes later. Octavia had a photograph in hand which showed Clarke and the commander and both of their heads had been marked. Indra explained to Anya that they had had a run in with assassins from Mount Weather and one had survived. It was obvious the general was angry that the Skykru had denied her the right to kill the man. Apparently Bellamy had finally checked in with Skykru and made it into Mount Weather undetected.

Lexa had listened to Indra’s report with a furrowed brow. She wondered how the Mountain Men could have this much knowledge about them. She had no idea how they got a photograph of them. Someone must have watched them even though she had had the whole woods around TonDC spiked with her own scouts. That Mountain Men had obviously wandered the woods completely undetected did not sit well with her. “Increase the patrols through the woods” Lexa ordered immediately to Indra who nodded and left the tent with Octavia.

“Skykru have a weird sense of honour” Anya said after Indra had left to which Marie looked at her confused. Lexa just waved her off her thoughts still occupied by something else “How could Mount Weather infiltrate the woods around us? The whole perimeters are scouted rapidly…” It was obvious that the commander was alarmed over the news. Anya made a noncommittal noise as the only answer fiddling with Tris’ braid in her fingers. She would have to thank Clarke for having Octavia look in their metal ship for her coat. She had been lucky and her coat had still been there with the braid hidden in an inner pocket. Octavia had handed her the coat while they had waited for the commander to return. Anya had only looked for the braid after Indra and Octavia had left the commander’s tent and was internally grateful that it had still been there.

The night went over in a similar fashion to the previous one. Lexa was awoken by Gustus three times throughout the night to greet another delegation arriving at TonDC. The commander had only caught a few hours of sleep in the early hours of the night and had been lucky that the next delegation arrived just after sunrise. Now only two more clans had to make their appearance and Clarke was expected to be back as well.

Lexa was slightly irritated when Skykru had sent Marcus Kane instead of Clarke. Even though she thought the man had a talent for diplomacy it was important that Clarke was seen by the other delegations. Marcus tried to apologize for the girl telling the commander that something with Bellamy had come up. He also had a draft of a plan with him on how Skykru’s engineers thought of a possibility to destroy the dam and in this way cut Mount Weather from their power supply.

Lexa had still denied Anya the opportunity to train Marie this day but had relented when Anya suggested to take the girl on a short hunt. So Anya and Marie left TonDC in the early morning. The general was annoyed with all the useless waiting and needed something to do. Marie had at first been enthusiastic but her spirit had quickly dampened when Anya started criticizing her the moment she stepped foot out of TonDC. Going on a hunt with Lexa had been way more entertaining but when Mari said so lowly Anya had been less then pleased with the grumbled comparison. Her brown eyes were drawn into angry slits when she jeered “You are still as loud as a _pauna_ ”. Marie bit her lip to keep silent. She had noticed Anya’s mood and impatience and knew better then to rise to the bait.

Marie was startled when Anya suddenly sprinted away from her with her swords drawn and she tried to keep up with the woman. Suddenly a gunshot resonated through the trees where Anya had disappeared and with a loudly hammering heart and her dagger in hand Marie crept closer to the origin of the sound. Anya was fighting with a man from Mount Weather judging by the strange material he was wearing. What her mentor had not seen was the second man still hidden in the bush. Marie spotted the man who was wearing a strange camouflage suit blending him into the surroundings perfectly taking aim with his gun at Anya while the woman still fought with the other man. Without further thought Marie jumped at the man as silent as possible dagger drawn and rammed the blade into the suit to hit the other’s throat. The man had not noticed her approach and shock registered on his face when he ripped the blade from his throat. Blood sprayed through the large tear in the suit onto Marie’s front and hands. With widened eyes the girl watched the man falling to the ground clutching at his severely bleeding wound when the skin under his helmet started to blister. Anya had managed to kill the other one with her sword straight into his heart in the meantime. When the woman saw her charge standing over the second dead warrior her grey eyes wide and unseeing she cautiously approached the girl. “Marie?” Anya called for the girl and slowly extended her hand to her. But when she made contact with Marie the girl reeled back as if burnt shaking her head silently crying in shock. Her breathing was erratic while her eyes switched between her bloody hands and the corpse at her feet in obvious horror. “Marie” Anya repeated now louder and clearer, she had no idea if there may be more Mountain Men hidden in the vicinity so they needed to leave to TonDC urgently. “I ...” Marie started her eyes now fixed on Anya “I …” but the girl did not manage to get the words out she wanted to. “Ssshh” Anya shushed her. She knew that the very first kill was the worst, it got easier but she still remember her own first kill and both Lexa and Tris had not reacted well to their first kills either. She enveloped the girl into her strong arms for a moment “We need to return to TonDC” she said to her young charge with urgency in her voice. The girl’s eyes had cleared somewhat although she was shaking slightly but she nodded. With shaking hands the girl retrieved her dagger from the ground her eyes taking in the blood on the blade. Not giving her any more chance to break down in the wood Anya just grabbed one of Marie’s hand and practically pulled the girl the way back to TonDC. Lexa took in the girl’s appearance with worried eyes when they finally made it back to TonDC. Marie was completely unresponsive at the moment and still had the dagger clutched tightly into her other hand dried blood smeared over her front, face and hands. Anya needed to be part of the war council as well so she steered the girl into the commander’s tent to try and calm Marie as best as she could in the few minutes left before the war council would gather.

Lexa had looked behind her former mentor and Marie disappearing in the direction of the tent, she knew that Anya would tell her later what had happened in the woods and just before the commander had wanted to call the generals to open the war meeting two riders approached TonDC at a fast pace. To her surprise it was Clarke with the guard she had assigned to her.

“Clarke of the Sky people honours us with her presence” she jeered slightly at the blonde leader telling her that just sending Marcus Kane in her stead was unacceptable. The other had the decency to blush but she also just ignored the jab asking for a private audience. The urgent tone of her voice told her that whatever Clarke wanted was important.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 52  
> Gustus has a talk with Marie reassuring the girl that Sierra’s death was not her fault. Other clan delegations arrive in TonDC and Anya takes Marie on hunt. They encounter Mountain Men and Marie kills one of them to defend Anya. Marie is under shock when Anya brings her back to TonDC and Clarke arrives with an urgent message for the commander.

Chapter 53

Anya had guided the girl to the commander’s tent feeling eyes following the both of them. The girl was white as a sheet and had stared blankly through everything. Blood had sprayed over the girl’s hands, face and coat. Due to the dark colour of her coat the blood was not that obvious but it contrasted strongly with her pale skin. Gustus who had been send from Lexa’s side when Clarke demanded a private audience was waiting outside of the tent.

“Marie” Anya addressed the child in a gentle tone but the girl was unresponsive as if she had not heard her at all. Anya let the girl stand in the middle of the tent for a moment collecting a basin with fresh water and some cloths to clean the blood from her young charge. When she returned the girl still stood where she had left her shaking slightly her fingers clenched strongly around her dagger on which the blood had dried by now.

Cautiously Anya crouched down in front of the child taking the hand still clutching the dagger in hers and started to gently pry away the girl’s fingers from the handle just letting the knife fall to the floor of the tent with a low thud. Carefully she started to clean the Mountain Man’s blood from Marie’s hand with a wetted cloth. The girl’s shaking increased with every second and when Anya started to whip the dried blood from her face the girl started to blink a few times as if waking from a haze. Her grey eyes were wide and unfocused. “I killed him” the girl said suddenly in a shaky voice “just like that. He had aimed at you …” Anya’s eyes softened and she gently framed the girl’s cheeks with her hands “Then you have saved my life, Marie” “But I just killed him…” the girl’s voice got shriller with each words tears gathering in her eyes. Anya shook her head “The first kill is never easy and killing another should never become easy.” “How do you do it then?” Marie asked her voice despaired. “You need to remember why you are fighting at all” the woman said “And you did not hesitate to defend me today. You did well, you will receive you first kill mark for doing so.” The girl did not seem reassured at all and just broke out in tears. Anya pulled the child’s body against herself and enveloped her in a strong hug gently rocking the girls lightly all the while murmuring nonsense words in her ears.

They were interrupted when suddenly Lexa burst into the tent closely followed by Clarke. The blond looked confused when she noticed Marie’s obvious distress but just turned back to Lexa and seemed to take up an argument “You can’t just want to do nothing. What good does an inside-man if we do not use his information?”

Lexa seemed to ignore the other and quickly unbuckled her shoulder guard discarding the armour and her red sash carelessly on the floor of the tent. Anya watched on in confusion as Lexa disguised herself with a dark scarf and pushed on into Clarke’s hands.

“We must do something!” Clarke raged just holding the scarf in her hands her face showing her inner turmoil.

“What is going on?” Anya asked confused still keeping her arms around Marie.

Lexa turned to her former mentor “Mount Weather is sending a missile to TonDC”

Anya’s eyes widened. She had not seen the effects of such a weapon first-hand but she was told from the elders in her village that the last time Mount Weather had launched one had left a whole in the woods to wide to see the edge. But as a strategist she also understood why the commander had obviously not ordered for the evacuation of TonDC. Their ability to win against the Mountain largely relied on Bellamy’s success.

“But…” Clarke tried again her desperation rising obviously. The commander whirled around to her “What do you want me to do Clarke? Has Bellamy disabled the acid fog? Has he uncaged my sleeping army?” when the blonde woman shook her head reluctantly the commander continued “You have not said anything about the missile even to your own people. You know that this is the only choice to make. You have shown great strength today, don’t let emotions cloud your mind now. We must slip away now.”

Marie had backed away slightly from Anya looking back and forth between the commander and Anya with wide frightened eyes.

“A fire…” the girl mumbled suddenly while Lexa tried to urge Clarke to leave. “What?” Anya asked the girl lowly. “Starting a fire would make the people go into the woods or gather water from the stream” Marie reasoned. Lexa had turned from Clarke and listened to Marie’s words.

“Would a fire spread fast enough?” the commander turned to Anya who was more familiar with the buildings around TonDC. The older woman thought for a second then nodded her head “You should retreat to the woods nevertheless. But be careful, we encountered two from Mount Weather in the woods on our hunt.” Lexa was struck uncomfortably with the fact that her former mentor did not seem to think about leaving before anyone else did even for a second. A worried glance at the girl still leaning against her told the commander that the woman cared more for the girl surviving the attack then herself. “Let Gustus help you” Lexa suggested “And be quick about it”. The commander was strangely reluctant to leave her former mentor behind now that she was faced with her.

The woman nodded and gently pushed Marie in Lexa’s direction her eyes almost pleading with the commander to take the girl with her to safety. Lexa nodded to Anya and quickly retrieved another scarf to hide the girl’s conspicuous hair. She pulled the girl with her Clarke following them almost reluctantly while Anya had picked up Marie’s knife and put it into her coat to hopefully return it to their charge later. She quickly briefed Gustus on what to do and they set to work.

Lexa urged Marie and Clarke to leave TonDC faster without attracting attention to them. When the blonde Skykru leader stopped suddenly behind them Lexa turned and noticed what must have made her stop. Clarke’s mother was walking through TonDC and Clarke hurried to her. Lexa called behind the other but was ignored. With a curse under her breath the commander halted. In the middle of TonDC she could suddenly see smoke rising in the air indicating that Anya and Gustus had put their plan into action. It took only a few moments before others had noticed and people started to swarm out into the woods. Lexa anxiously watched the sky that had started to turn dark for any signs of a missile. She knew that only moments would pass between seeing the signs and the impact.

A moment later the horses had been released from the meadow they had been kept on and stormed away from TonDC. Smoke had become thicker indicating that the fire was spreading quickly. Lexa knew that the few buildings which had remained from the world before the bombs would probably not burn well. But these buildings had served as a centre for TonDC and wooden structures had been erected around them and as the village had grown they had started to build closer to other buildings leaving next to no free space between them and the wooden structures would all burn well once they had caught fire. The commander thought that she already knew why the Mountain chose to use a missile now after so many years. Before she formed the coalition there had always been war between the clans, some smaller alliances had existed but nothing permanent, leaving all of them vulnerable and weak and unable to face the Mountain. Now that they had banded together their combined strength must pose a very real threat to the Mountain. Killing all of their leaders with just one attack would warrant that their attention turned from the Mountain to resume waring with each other making them weak once again.

“What about all of those that don’t leave?” Marie suddenly asked in a timid voice. The girl no real idea what damage a missile would do but she had seen what the relatively small explosive had done to the bridge where Tris had been killed.

Lexa looked at the girl who still looked shaken and pale “Everyone who escaped from the fire will be save from the missile”. The commander watched as Clarke practically pulled her mother away from TonDC and into the treeline when suddenly the missile appeared on the dark sky. Marie’s eyes widened and all seemed to happen in slow motion. The girl sucked in a harsh breath and anxiously watched the missile’s flaming path over the night sky until it exploded. The force of the explosion swept both of them from their feet and Marie’s ears ringed painfully.

Everything seemed to stand still for a few seconds until Marie heard muffled screams through the ringing in her ears. She barely felt it when Lexa pulled her to her feat a few seconds later having recovered earlier from the impact. Marie could see many people running through the trees. Some were still fleeing away from the site of the explosion while others tried to get back to the smouldering ruins which once were TonDC.

In a slight distance they could see Clarke trying to talk with her mother who just turned away from her with judging eyes and Clarke crying a single tear. Lexa’s mind raced as she analysed that the Skykru chancellor had obviously concluded that her daughter had been aware of the missile. This could end in possible disaster.

The remnants of TonDC were burning and screams and sounds of despair carried over to them. Lexa closed her eyes tightly for a second absorbing the pain and death of her people. The time between the fire and the missile’s impact had not been long enough for all of the people to flee into the woods. But the commander knew that staying so close to TonDC was dangerous. Clarke had explained that the Mountain Men needed what she called a spotter to aim their missile, if they would see her and Clarke she feared they would send a second missile and more people would die as some had already started to run back to TonDC to look for survivors.

When Lexa saw Clarke following her mother who had run back to TonDC with unsteady steps she quickly ordered Marie to stay put and hurried behind Clarke. The girl was in shock obviously and only responded after a few tries muttering that she had failed.

“Victory stands on the back of sacrifice” Lexa said “And we have to move, if they see us, they will strike again.” The blonde leader nodded after a few seconds coming out of her daze when suddenly shots rang out through TonDC.

“The spotter. He is alone” Clarke said already moving in the direction of where the shots came from. The commander and Marie followed her Lexa stopping her quickly “If he sees us and reports to the Mountain…” Clarke interrupter her with an angry glint in her blue eyes “He won’t because I will kill him beforehand.” The defiance in Clarke’s blue eyes silenced the commander and she merely nodded.

“What about Anya?” Marie meekly asked Lexa looking back at TonDC with worried grey eyes. Lexa shook her head “I hope she is alright. But we cannot return to TonDC before the spotter is gone.” “Can’t I search for her?” Marie almost pleaded. “No” Lexa said with finality pulling the girl behind Clarke forcefully.

They walked through the dark forest for a few minutes. Lexa tried to reason with Clarke that they had done the right thing and that killing the spotter for revenge won’t make her feel better. Silently Marie thought she could absolutely agree with the last part. The girl’s breathing quickened slightly when the Mountain Man she had killed re-appeared in front of her eyes his blood spraying over her again.

Lexa turned around to Marie having picked up on the girl’s distress and grabbed her shoulders harsher then intended and said “Focus!” Marie tried to stop her panic and nodded slightly when suddenly Lexa whirled around again as footsteps sounded in front of them.

The footsteps belonged to Lincoln who was obviously surprised to see them here. But before the man could say anything Gustus and Anya joined them. Lexa felt relive curse through her veins while Marie instantly hugged Anya tightly making the woman wince slightly from the pain of her healing wound.

“The fire was no coincidence, wasn’t it?” Lincoln asked in a cautious voice. The commander thought of her options for a moment before she inclined her head in agreement. Shots rang out again and Lincoln told them that the survivors of the explosion were trapped by the sniper. They set off together to take him down.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 53  
> Anya tries to calm Marie after the girl breaks down. Anya and Marie hear from the missile and Marie has the idea to start a fire. Lexa, Clarke and Marie slip away while Anya and Gustus start the fire. Some people are saved by the fire but still many are left in TonDC when the missile strikes. A sniper traps the survivors in TonDC and Clarke want to search and kill him.

Chapter 54

Searching for the sniper took way longer then Marie expected. The sun was already rising behind the mountains behind TonDC. The shock of the previous evening had worn off and Marie now only felt empty and drained. Keeping up with the others became more strenuous with every new step uphill. She had no experience with climbing a mountain and the exhaustion of the previous day caught up with her making her legs feel like heavy blocks.

Behind them smoke still rose into view in a big black cloud from the remnants of TonDC. Marie could see the commander looking down onto TonDC with regret flashing in her green eyes. The girl silently wondered why the commander had not just evacuated TonDC the moment Clarke told her of the missile, that way more lives could have been saved. She wanted to ask Anya when suddenly a bullet hit a rock behind her chipping off some small slivers. Gustus had positioned himself in front of Lexa and pushed the commander to seek cover behind a mountain ledge. Anya quickly pushed the startled girl down to make her a smaller target and almost hauled the girl behind the mountain ledge.

“So much to the element of surprise” Anya commented almost snarky. It had taken way too long for her liking to find the spotter from Mount Weather. They needed to return to TonDC as soon as possible to help the survivors and the commander needed to be seen by her people before chaos broke out. She knew how quickly the absence of a leader could cause unrest between the armies of the different clans.

Clarke suddenly started to fire her gun at the spotter giving Lincoln the opportunity to approach the spotter unharmed. Anya also slipped away to come at the man from his backside. She had to admit that the disguise of the spotter perfectly blended into the woods. If she had merely been on patrol and the man had kept still she highly doubted she would have noticed his presence at all. Marie had stayed back with the commander Gustus standing in front of the woman protectively.

The girl watched as Lincoln pinned the spotter to the ground holding a dagger to his throat when the man suddenly had a small device in his hand that made a shrill noise making Lincoln drop his dagger and grab his head as if in pain. Clarke still her gun pointed at the spotter and looked ready to shoot when the spotter easily overpowered Lincoln and threatened to kill him should Clarke not lower her weapon. The man had not noticed Anya rounding up on him from behind and his face morphed into a shocked grimace when suddenly a sword protruded from his chest. Anya ripped her bloodied sword out of his body with one quick movement and then man fell to his knees in the grass clutching at the whole in his chest. Marie watched on emotionally unattached as the man’s eyes became glassy, he had bled out.

“We need to get back” Lexa said breaking their stupor. The commander knew that it would not take long for the parts of the army that had camped a few hours away from TonDC to make their way to the ruins. They all needed to see that she had survived.

The way back to TonDC seemed even longer to Marie although they were travelling downhill now they had walked several hours the last night and had to return the whole way. She was both relieved and shocked when they finally reached TonDC. The missile had completely destroyed the village but what surprised her was that several members of Skykru were there helping to dig out survivors out of collapsed buildings.

Lincoln had spotted Octavia with the others seconds trying to pull a heavy piece of rumble away and quickly run to her. Both of them hugged enthusiastically and kissed. Others had spotted the commander by now and chanting of “Heda” resonated through TonDC as all of the grounders stopped what they were doing to acknowledge that their commander had survived the attack.

Lexa pulled her hand up in the air and the crowd hushed immediately. Anya let her eyes quickly roam over the gathered crowd and thought that many more would have been lost without the deliberate fire and she squeezed Marie’s shoulders gently, while the girl let herself lean against Anya’s strong frame.

The commander spotted a few deceased people between the ruins but filed that away for later when she would knew exact numbers of the losses “What happened today will not stand” Lexa loudly addressed her people “The mountain will fall. Our dead will be avenged!” Shouts of affirmation could be heard through the crowd as they cheered. Abby suddenly spoke up that there were still people buried alive and that they had to start getting them out. Lexa looked slightly annoyed at the older woman but let her insolence pass turning to Clarke with determination in her eyes “With both our people working together, we will win this war.”

Clarke nodded although it was obvious guilt was already weighing her down seeing the effects of the missile now. “Everyone joining the attack will leave now to join up with the army already camped in the vicinity of the Mountain” Lexa added and the blonde nodded, knowing that she would be joining the commander.

Lexa looked to Anya and Marie. The girl looked to be asleep on her feet and leant against Anya but letting her stay here was not an option. Gaining her first kill had definitely given the girl the right to join in the attack.

Clarke asked if Lexa could spare some people to help hers gather the wounded to the Ark, where they had better equipment to help heal them. The commander quickly organized what would be needed and watched as Clarke said her goodbyes to her mother. The older woman worried her slightly it was obvious she knew that she had not given the orders to evacuate TonDC and she did not trust her to keep silent entirely.

Indra had stepped up to the commander and Lexa noted with slight worry that the general was wounded. The sniper had shot at her and the bullet had pierced right through the other woman’s shoulder. The steeliness in the dark skinned woman’s eyes was unchanged and there was no talking sense into her to stay behind at least for a day or two. Of course as the commander she could have just ordered Indra to stay or accompany Skykru to have her injurie properly treated but she knew that the woman would take such as a personal insult so she had the wounded general join the procession of warriors who all wanted to join up with the army.

The way to the army’s camp site was long and they travelled through the whole night. Marie had never felt more exhausted she was only working on auto-pilot blindly stumbling behind Anya and Lexa. Her legs seemed to have lost feeling all together and the girl wished for nothing more than a horse to carry her weight. But Marie did not complain aloud once.

Anya had to forcefully keep a pained grimace from face. The still healing injury gave a painful throb with every step she took. Lexa looked to be deep in thought same as Clarke. But Lexa had a calculated expression on her face as if she might mentally be planning their next steps in this war whereas Clarke looked a mixture between defeated and defiant.

“What did marrow treatment mean?” Anya suddenly addressed Clarke who visibly startled. The warrior had caught the phrase spoken between Clarke and her mother but was unfamiliar with the meaning.

“It is a medical procedure with bone marrow” Clarke explained. “Bone marrow” Anya repeated the unfamiliar words as if to get a taste of them. Clarke tried to explain to the general how stem cells derived from bone marrow could be used to transfer cells and their phenotypes into another body. Anya’s brows furrowed in confusion she could distinctly imagine what the blonde girl meant but the concept was alien to her. She had been shocked already to see the Mountain use their blood as medicine. “How do you get that?” Anya asked next avoiding using the word “harvest” as she had heard Clarke call the room Mount Weather had kept all of them in. “You can extract it from the hip bone by drilling into it” Clarke answered. From the corner of her eye Anya could see Lexa following the conversation with obvious interest. One more question struck in her mind “How much marrow can you extract from a body?” “That depends on many factors” Clarke answered thinking hard to remember the medical lessons she had had with her mother “Health, body size and other factors influence that. And age is a huge drawback. They could get more or rather stem cells with a higher potency out of … for example Marie in comparison to me.” Anya silently processed the words she had just heard “And this treatment makes it possible for them to breathe our air?” Clarke nodded with a sad expression in her eyes “That the sniper was not wearing a hazmat suite proves that.”

The conversation halted when Clarke’s face fell. Even though she had no definite proof she knew that the Mountain must be killing her friends one by one to cure themselves. Ironically Clarke thought that many people from the Ark would have been willing to donate stem cells if asked and in exchange for shelter or aid. But the Mountain Men had chosen their path and she would stop at nothing to rescue her friends from their greedy clutches.

When finally they met the first scouts around the army’s camp Marie nearly collapsed to her knees relief clearly written on her face. The scouts’ relief at spotting the commander herself leading the group was palpable in the air. They spoke of unrest in the army’s camp. All of them had seen the missile soaring through the night sky from the Mountain and obviously the Azgeda delegation had already joined up with the army spreading news of the commander’s supposedly death. Chaos had taken root in the camp and the different clans had directly been at each other’s throats. The scout Lexa heard the report from, a young man barely older then fifteen winters, told her that the generals who had made it back to the army’s camp were holding a meeting in the commander’s tent to decide how to move on now. The commander angrily gritted her teeth she could almost imagine the disappointment of some of her generals at discovering her survival.

Lexa urged the group on faster eager to end the meeting her generals were having without her attendance. She feared they might just decide to march on the Mountain like that or attack Trikru. Most of the Trikru army had been stationed nearer to TonDC and all generals of Trikru travelled with her in this group at the moment. Trikru had suffered the most losses through the missile she knew that without exact numbers but it would make those who had survived fight all the harder to avenge those that had been lost to Mountain.

Marie obviously had trouble keeping up with the increased pace but she urged her body to somehow dig out more energy from her reserves.

The warriors who saw them approaching immediately started chanting Lexa’s title in reverent voices. From the tent intended for the commander shouts flittered through the tent’s material. Lexa did not even wait a heartbeat and stormed into the tent with purposeful strides. The faces of the generals as they whipped around to the intruder were almost comical in their obvious shock. Lexa carefully let her eyes scan over all of the assembled generals noting who looked genuinely relieved to see her and who barely managed to hide their displeasure. Only three generals stood out among the others, the Azgeda general among them which did not surprise the commander at all.

She glared at all of them for having the audacity to believe in her death without proof and trying to plan a war without a real commander. The general’s squirmed under her icy glare and when one opened his mouth to say something the commander silenced him with a simple wave of her hand simultaneously dismissing all of them for now.

After the generals had slowly filed out a handmaid entered the tent with a tray of food and drinks. Marie briefly wondered if Alira had survived the missile but no one knew at the moment who had died. The girl sat down at the table and gingerly ate a piece of soft bread. She had not noticed how hungry she had been. Marie did not notice as she became more tired with each second and she had stopped registering what happened around her altogether.

Anya watched as the girl started to fall asleep still chewing slightly on a bit of bread. The woman snorted and went to wake the girl up but Lexa stopped her. Clarke had been assigned a tent and Ryder had taken up post outside of the commander’s tent relieving Gustus from his duty for now to rest.

“Let her sleep” Lexa said in a soft voice carefully testing the movement of her shoulder. The injury barely hurt anymore, a day or two more and she would be healed. Anya also looked exhausted and Lexa gently hoisted the sleeping girl into her arm carrying her over to the part of the tent reserved for sleeping and set her down on some soft furs. The girl did not even stir and stayed asleep.

“It does not do for us to stay in your tent forever, Lexa” Anya said with thinned lips.

The commander shook her head again “It does for now. And I am sure she won’t be sleeping for long.”

Anya nodded. She had already feared that new nightmares would hunt their charge now after her first kill. Even Lexa had suffered from them for a few month. 


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,  
> sorry that I do not answer to all of the comments at the moment, I am simply too busy. But I still take the time to read them of course and they completely make my day =)
> 
> Previously in chapter 54  
> They meet Anya, Gustus and Lincoln during their search for the sniper who is then killed. TonDC is destroyed by the missile and Skykru have come to help the survivors. The commander leads the warriors from TonDC to join up with her army accompanied by Clarke.

Chapter 55

Anya was mostly grateful to finally be off her feet. She hoped that the pulsing pain in her abdomen would recede once she had gotten some rest.

And Lexa was proven correct only a few hours later. Marie had slept for a few hours due to her bone deep exhaustion but soon her sleep was disturbed by images of blood spraying on her hands and the shock in the eyes of the Mountain Man as he had bled out on the forest floor.

Anya had fallen asleep only a few moments ago when Marie started trashing in terror under her furs. The commander still had made a round through the huge camp of the army making a point of visiting each clan’s delegation at least shortly and had just returned into the tent when the nightmares came.

Lexa placed her sword on a table in front of the sleeping area of the tent and crouched down next to the girl trying to rouse her gently. As soon as her fingers made contact with the girl’s shoulders Marie’s grey eyes popped open and she shot upright from the furs nearly knocking Lexa over colliding with her head painfully. “Au” Marie gasped her eyes still wide breathing heavily. “It is ok” Lexa soothed in a gentle tone waiting until her charge’s grey eyes regained some focus. Marie looked at her hands and started to scratch at them almost violently the feeling of the warm blood coating them still fresh in her mind. Lexa quickly enveloped the smaller hands into her own and by thus stopped the frantic scratching. “Stop hurting yourself, Marie” Lexa ordered in an even tone her green eyes fixed on the girl looking even smaller right now.

The commander encased the girl in her arms pulling her thin frame against her chest rocking her in a slight soothing motion. Marie was tense the first few moments before she let herself relax in Lexa’s reassuring warmth.

After some silence Marie had calmed and eased out of the embrace peering up at Lexa with huge eyes glistening with moisture “Do you ever forget?” Lexa knew exactly what the girl was asking about. But she shook her head. She still remembered her own first kill vividly. The memory would pop up in her mind sometimes unbidden.

The memory flashed through her mind again. She had been younger then Marie was now barely seven summers old. She had disobeyed Anya’s orders and strayed too far in the direction of the mountain. She had run into a reaper and without thought she had barged at the reaper. She had survived the fight against the reaper. She still remember how she had driven the sword through the reaper’s stomach. Lexa would forever remember the eyes of the reaper clearing of their insanity in the last moments before death. Anya had found her after some time. She had been in too much shock to move away from the dead reaper.

The commander still remembered that day clearly but the memory had lost its cutting edges over time slowly. She gently swiped a stray lock of blonde hair from the girl’s face “No, you will never forget that moment. But you will learn to accept that death is a vital part of being a warrior.” Marie stayed silent but was biting at her lips with her face scrunched up. “You did not attack the Mountain Man just to kill him, did you?” Lexa asked Marie to steer her from her silent musing. Marie shook her head “He was aiming at Anya with his gun and she had not seen him…So I wanted to …”

“Protect her. Am I right?” Lexa suggested. The girl nodded immediately “I didn’t even think. I just attacked him …” Marie looked miserable as if what she had done was a great sin and she looked down at her knees averting her eyes with trembling lips. “Look at me, Marie” Lexa admonished directing the girl’s chin up gently to re-connect their eyes “You may have saved Anya’s live by doing so, Marie. The most of our fights are fought to protect those we love.” Marie seemed to contemplate Lexa’s word before she nodded with a cautious expression. Lexa silently wondered if Marie would have fought as hard for her own live. It sounded as if Marie had surprised the soldier from the Mountain and she doubted her fighting skills would have been enough to save her had the situation been different.

When the girl started to yaw after a few moments Lexa gently pushed the girl down on her furs. They all needed more rest. The signal that Bellamy had succeeded in dismantling the acid fog could come any moment now. Tomorrow morning they would hold a last meeting with all the generals to speak through the finer details of the plan. Lexa doubted that the plan Clarke had taken such pain to come up with would hold long into the battle. Plans never lasted long into battle. Every battle had a dynamic of its own, it was completely impossible to accurately predict the way in which your opponent would react. And it was impossible to come up with enough small details and backup plans to cover all possible scenarios.

The commander shrugged out of the light armour she had been wearing and also laid down to rest a bit. She felt the girl’s eyes watching her every move until she laid down and with an almost inaudible sigh Lexa lifted her furs for the girl to slip under. It was obvious their charge was afraid to fall back asleep. It took Marie only a few moments to leap over and snuggle up to the commander letting out a contented sigh when she had wiggled into a comfortable position. Lexa silently wondered when it had become routine for the small girl to seek shelter with her in the night and why she did not mind the fact at all. Her previous second had never sought comfort from her and the nightbloods did seldom, Titus being quick to instil proper manners and decorum into them.

The rest of the night went over quickly and fortunately without any further disturbances. They had all gotten some rest and Anya was relived to note that the pain from the wound had subdued almost completely. Constant sounds of movements in the large army camp around them filtered through the thin material of the tent.

Marie smiled happily at Alira when the handmaid brought breakfast into the commander’s tent glad to see that the woman had survived the bombing of TonDC. A messenger was waiting for the commander to be granted an audience bringing news from TonDC. But Lexa told Gustus who had already taken up his post at the entrance of the tent together with Ryder to let the man wait to give her some time to get presentable again.

The girl had washed up and dressed again while Anya sat down behind Lexa gently combing out the commander’s thick brown locks. Marie was munching on a slice of bread with some white mild cheese when Anya started to weave new braids into Lexa’s hair. “Just like old times” the older woman said with a slight tease in her voice. “Feel yourself honoured” Lexa shot right back.

Marie cocked her head to the side obviously confused “Is it an honour to braid your hair, Lexa?” “Letting someone close enough to braid your hair is a gesture of tremendous trust. You turn your back to the other and literally bare your throat” Anya answered the innocent question in an even tone. “Usually family or lovers braid each other’s hair” Lexa added remembering Costia’s fingers in her hair. Marie nodded obviously thinking the new information through before she exclaimed with a scrunched brow “But you and Lexa always braid my hair. We are not family…” The girl’s words trailed off and it was obvious to both women that the girl clearly wished it was otherwise. “The bond between a second and a first is considered to be a familial bond “Anya provided with a gentle smile on her strong features. It was next to impossible to not develop a strong bond with your second as you spent years with each other.

“So I could braid your hair?” Marie pressed in a curious tone. Anya snorted lightly to which the smile fell from Marie’s face again. “You can theoretically braid our hair, yes. But you are lacking the ability to do so. We share a sleeping space. There is no greater sign of trust, Marie” Lexa appeased the girl and with a mischievous glint in her green eyes added “But I am sure Anya would be glad to let you practice some with her hair.” Anya’s lips thinned glaring at Lexa for a moment before she let out an annoyed huff and affirmed to Marie that she was welcome to practice some on her. She could always quickly replace the braids again.

The girl waited almost impatiently for Anya to finish with Lexa’s hair and the commander motioned the girl over to sit down behind Anya. The older woman had taken a mug with steaming tea and had obviously resigned herself to just sit patiently and wait. The girl was extremely gentle with the comb trying to untangle Anya’s locks without pulling at them. “You can pull harder at the comb or you will never get through the hair at all until nightfall” Anya suddenly remarked annoyance obvious in her clipped tone. Marie startled slightly when Anya spoke up and let go of the comb completely. Cautiously she continued with more force behind the strokes and had the hair detangled after a short amount of more time.

Lexa had already eaten a quick breakfast and now sat down next to the girl showing her how to weave a simple braid. After braiding a thick strand through to the tips Lexa loosened the braid again and now watched as Marie tried. It was painfully obvious the girl had never braided any kind of braids until now. The girl needed a few tries to even get a simple three-stranded braid correctly without losing part of the braids halfway.  Lexa had to give credit to Anya for remaining as calm and patient as the woman was. The commander still vividly remembered the first few times Anya had let her braid her mentor’s hairs. The woman had been impatient and had her re-do the design over and over again nearly driving her crazy in the process.

It took Marie pretty long to finish the relatively simple design Anya usually had braided into her hair. But the girl was grinning proudly when Lexa finally proclaimed the braids to be satisfactory for now. Anya carefully let her finger glide over the braids under the watchful eyes of their charge. They were uneven at times and they would probably not hold through the next night but they would do. Something must have shown on her face as Marie’s shoulders had dropped slightly and the girl said in a sad voice “You do not like them?!”

Anya could see Lexa fighting a losing battle against the grin on her face and she glared slightly at the younger woman, the whole situation was her fault after all. “They are fine for your first attempt, Marie” she tried to placate the girl who obviously caught on with that and crossed her arms over her chest a scowl on her face. Anya gritted her teeth in annoyance she wasn’t used to dealing with a child this sensitive. “You did really fine for your first attempt” Anya repeated with conviction in her tone and added with a devilish glare at Lexa “And Lexa had to re-do my braids more often then you did the first time she tried.” The commander just acknowledged her words with a slight eye roll as she had only been listening to their conversation with most of her attention being focused on the maps in front of her. A perimeter had been defined for the army and scouts had carefully outlined how far the acid fog of the Mountain really reached and all members of the army had strict orders not to cross that line. Both women did not deem it necessary to explain to Marie that Lexa’s first attempts at braiding Anya’s hair had been done to perfection but of course she already had previous experience with braiding her own hair.

In no time at all Anya now had braided Marie’s hair again which had become lose due to her tossing under the furs in the previous night. An almost melancholic look crossed over the older woman’s face while her fingers braided the familiar braids into the blonde hair. She had lost count of the times she had weaved the exact same braids into Lexa’s hair who had only adopted a more intricate pattern of braids after her accession to command.

Finally the messenger was granted entry into the commander’s tent. The survivors who had remained in TonDC had mostly cleared the ruins of those who had died on the impact of the missile. They had counted eighty-six corpses and a few had been brought to the Skykru’s camp to be treated for severe wounds. Lexa nodded with an unreadable expression and dismissed the messenger grinding her teeth together. She knew that the death count would have been even higher if not for the last minute idea to start a fire. But losing so many without a real battle was still a heavy blow and the area would surely need aid from Polis in the upcoming winter to bring the survivors through the harsher month without stocked supplies. Marie had become slightly paler hearing the actual number and Anya had looked mostly angry. The commander knew that most of her warriors would even be spurred on to fight harder against the Mountain now after these recent blow.


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 55  
> The night after arriving at the army’s camp. Marie gets to braid Anya’s hair and a messenger brings the death count of the bombing of TonDC.

Chapter 56

The army camp was already bustling with activity when the commander led them outside of the big tent. Every warrior who spotted the commander cheered and bowed to her offering their respect. Lexa acknowledged them all by inclining her head in a faint nod taking her time to walk through the camp. Marie was awed to watch this show of respect and spotting differences between some of the armour the warriors were wearing told her that these soldiers were mixed from different clans.

Gustus and Ryder were walking closely behind Lexa in case there was an assassin hidden between the warriors which was always a possibility for the commander. But no one seemed to harbour any ill will against the commander at the moment the whole atmosphere in the camp buzzed with excitement and Lexa dearly hoped that Bellamy would quickly succeed in disabling the acid fog. Feeding that many warriors in one place was putting a heavy strain on the wild life in the woods around them and the atmosphere in the camp could change quickly when they had to wait too long for discontent to simmer. She knew all too well how quickly the warriors off different clans jammed together in a camp could start fighting over the simplest dispute.

Lexa led them to the small free space in the middle of the camp where some older warriors were overseeing their seconds sparring with each other shouting critics at them occasionally. Marie gulped nervously when she caught up with the commander’s intention. All of the second she could see training looked to at least be fifteen and older and all were at least a head taller than her. Anya barely concealed a snort at the look of doubt on the young girl’s face. Marie looked pleadingly between Lexa and Anya silently trying to ask them to let her pass this training but both completely ignored her mute pleas. The commander nudged the girl in the direction of the free space with a hand against her shoulder so that Marie stumbled slightly.

Indra who had been watching Octavia spar with a second from the desert clan had stepped up to the commander and Anya and addressed both of them in a mocking tone “Your second looks ready to bolt the second someone attacks her”. “Is that so?” Anya drawled in a bored tone “I am sure she would hold her ground against your second”. Marie turned around to Anya with widened eyes having listened on to the conversation. When the dark skinned general suddenly started to laugh out loud Marie clenched her jaw in silent anger. Octavia had obviously finished her match with the other second and joined her mentor waiting silently for more orders. Indra inclined her head towards Marie “Your next opponent and make it quick” she ordered.

Octavia looked at Marie with a furrowed brow “But she is just…” Indra stared down at her second her grip tightening around her sword’s handle fury blazing in her dark eyes at being spoken back by her second in public like that. Octavia seemed to have caught on with her error and lowered her head for a moment in a silent apology and then turned on Marie “Sorry, kid” the older girl said to Marie. Lexa could see Marie looking around almost frantically. Octavia had a blunted sword in her hand while Marie was not armed. Gustus offered another blunted sword to Marie which the girl eyed cautiously. They had not progressed to sword training yet and Lexa doubted that the girl stood a real chance in this fight.

But after hesitating for a moment Marie took the sword from Gustus and turned back to Octavia who had waited patiently. Marie took on her protective stance and waited for Octavia to attack first. The older girl’s movements were brash and after a few minutes Marie started to see a pattern in them which made her able to dodge the first attack.

But Marie was too inexperienced in fighting to react properly when Octavia suddenly changed her tactic and lay all her strength into a single attack diving under the girl’s defences and hitting her with the pommel of her sword against her sternum. Marie fell backwards landing on her back on the soft grass gasping for air while her chest burned.

Suddenly the girl heard someone shouting but she was unable to understand the words with the pain blinding her other senses. Clarke had barged into the ring of fighters having watched the match from the side-line. When Octavia had hit Marie the blonde worried that Octavia might have shattered Marie’s sternum with the impact of the pommel. “Are you fucking crazy?!” the blonde had screamed at Octavia before anyone had reacted. Indra and Anya were loudly arguing with Clarke while Lexa tried to calm all of them down. Marie had used the time to gather back some breath and had gotten up again gripping the sword in her hand.

“Let them finish their fight” Lexa said bringing back the focus to Octavia and Marie. The commander nodded to them and guided Clarke back to the side-line to give the two seconds some more space. “She could be seriously injured, Lexa” the blonde seethed at the commander. Anya rolled her eyes “She will survive and become stronger”. Clarke whirled around to face the older woman her eyes glaring daggers at her but before she could say something she might regret the sound of steel connecting forcefully with each other sounded loudly signalling that both of them had taken up their fight again.

Marie was still panting slightly pain blooming in her chest and she was sure a huge bruise would be forming already. Circling around the older girl Marie tried to remember what both Lexa and Anya had told her on how to beat someone clearly superior in strength. She could either try to wear Octavia down but she doubted that would work or she would need to get close to a single hit against a sensitive spot. “You can give up, you know” Octavia said after they had circled each other for some time without any real attacks on both sides. Indra seemed to growl from the side-line “Finish it!” Marie could see Octavia’s fingers tightening around the swords handle getting ready to attack again. Marie crouched lower into her protective stance waiting for the attack.

This time she let her defence drop on purpose trying to lure Octavia closer to her body. The older girl immediately dived in to attack her and Marie used that to take a step closer taking the blunt end Octavia’s sword painfully against her ribs but simultaneously Marie used her own sword to hit Octavia’s throat.

The other girl clearly had not anticipated that move and she fell to her knees gasping and coughing for air. Indra seemed to be completely floored her mouth opened in silent disbelief while Anya looked smugly at the other woman. “In a real fight both of them would be dead now” Lexa commented nonchalantly but with a glint of pride in her green eyes. She had not anticipated the girl to fight that well and boldly. But it was true, faced against a sharp sword Marie might have been able to kill Octavia with such a move but she would also be bleeding out right now from the wound in her side.

Clarke had walked up to Octavia and seemed to inspect her throat for permanent damage. Marie stepped up to them with a pained grimace on her face tenderly touching her chest. Anya smirked “Come, I am sure one of the healers will have an ointment for that” and directed the girl away.

“You fought well” the general said to the young girl on the way to a tent reserved to healers. Marie’s smile was strained when she looked up at Anya but her eyes seemed to glow with joy at the compliment. “Do not get cocky now, Lexa is right you would be bleeding out right now had you both fought with sharp swords” Anya cautioned. Marie scowled slightly but nodded she was still pleased with herself, she had been sure to lose against Octavia.

The healer did have an ointment against the bruising which would enhance the healing and numb some of the pain. A guard came to them when Marie followed Anya through the camp relying a summon from Lexa to the commander’s tent. The Skykru delegation who would join them in the battle had reached their camp and Lexa intended to hold the last war meeting now so that Anya’s presence was required.

The tent was stuffed with people when they entered. Marie looked around and noticed that she seemed to be the only second in the tent as the others apart from Skykru were all older and probably generals from the different clans. She wondered silently if she should be waiting outside but Anya had not told her to wait so she was probably allowed to listen.

Marie frowned when Clarke was motioned to speak. Her plan sounded off and way too optimistic. The blonde had obviously planned to only rescue her friends and execute the leaders of the Mountain Men and to spare all the other inhabitants. It was obvious the generals were confused to receive that order and Marie could see Anya’s brown eyes blazing with anger.

Lexa felt the atmosphere in the room shift the longer Clarke explained their plans. A heavy silence settled once the blonde Skykru leader had finished her words. Before the situation could get out of hand Lexa stepped in taking place in the centre of the meeting letting her eyes wander over all the faces of those gathered in the tent slowly and intently before she spoke in a clear voice “The Mountain has cast a shadow over our lands for years now. Abducted our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers to use our blood or to turn our loved ones into monsters. We have lost thousand to them over all the years but these days end now! We will lay siege to the Mountain and avenge the ones we have lost! You have all heard our plan. We will rescue our people and free these lands of the Mountain forever. Have your warriors ready to attack at a moment’s notice as the signal to attack can come any moment now! When the acid fog is disabled, we will attack immediately and we will win this war! Until then…” Lexa paused for a moment and started chanting “ _Blood must have blood”_. The generals immediately joined her chant enthusiastically, thirsty for the blood of their greatest enemy.

It took some time for all the generals to finally leave the tent. Clarke had followed the Skykru delegation to caution all of them with their guns personally. The commander was aware that Skykru carrying guns was an advantage and simultaneously a huge liability. One wrong shot and her soldiers were bound to break into a panicked mass, the fear for this weapons too deeply ingrained in all of them.

Once Marie was alone again in the tent with Lexa and Anya she worried her lips between her teeth. She had understood the general plan but she had no idea where she would be during the battle and that worried her immensely. “Where will I be…?” the girl asked in a small voice her last words too low to understand but both women knew what their charge wanted to know nevertheless. It was Lexa who turned to the girl and evenly said “You will be with me and Anya, as our second that is the place you are intended to be.” Marie nodded with a small frown on her face, she was unsure if she should feel happy or excited to be part of the battle or if she should feel afraid.

“Stay close to me at all times, no matter what” Anya addressed the girl staring into her big grey eyes intently. Marie nodded that she understood but the worry was still evident in her young face.

“Were you afraid?” Marie asked after a few moments of silence. Lexa inclined her head to their charge in question not understanding what it was the girl implored after, so Marie explained “Of your first battle?”

Anya snorted slightly, her mind shortly flashing back to her own first real battle. She had barely seen fifteen summers back then, but she had been absolutely full of herself. The fear had only sat in once the battle had started and she had to acknowledge that she was not as skilled as she had previously believed. On the other hand the older woman did also remember the first battle she had fought together with Lexa and how the girl had voiced the same worry in the night before the immediate attack. “I wasn’t” Anya said back in the present with her mind “But it is better if you are.”

Marie cocked her head slightly unsure what her mentor meant but Lexa now spoke softly “I had the same fears you are probably having right now. You are young, you will learn in time not to let your fears rule your decisions. As long as you keep close to us, you should be save” The commander knew that she could not make a promise to the girl that she could not fulfil as she had no intention of lying to their charge. “Try to get some sleep” Lexa ordered and when the girl made to object she added more sternly “That is not a plea, you need the rest for tomorrow.”

Marie nodded with slightly drooped shoulders but Anya would join the girl now as the general also wanted to rest as much as possible now that the battle could start at a moment’s notice. Anya was already deep in slumber, while Marie tried to calm her hammering heart, when Clarke barged back into the tent wanting to speak through the plans of the battle with Lexa again.

The blonde obviously had doubts if their plan still had flaws they could prevent. Marie could hear Lexa sighing before she stopped Clarke’s rambling “Plans don’t last very long in battles, Clarke. Going over plans again and again is a waste of energy”. Clarke’s voice was agitated when she answered “People died for this, Lexa, it has to work!”

“You are doing, what I did when I first took command” Lexa said in a calm tone “You cannot move forward and it is giving you too much time to think. Once Bellamy shuts down the acid fog and the battle begins, everything will be clear.”

“What if he can’t?” Clarke asked her voice laced with doubt “What if it was too dangerous and I sent him in there anyway.”

“You care about him” Lexa stated in a measured tone. “I care about all of them” Clarke retorted forcefully. Lexa remained unfazed “Then you worry about him more”

“I could not have kept us alive all this time without him” Clarke explained getting louder, Marie glanced to Anya but the woman was still asleep and Clarke continued “We need him and now I might be the one who gets him killed.”

“That is what it means to be a leader Clarke” Lexa said more forcefully “The truth is, we must look into the eye of our warriors and say “Go, die for me””

“If only it were that easy” Clarke remarked with a frown “Can we please just back to the plan”

“No” Lexa denied immediately “You could be a leader your people look to, pour their hopes and dreams into, someone they will fight and die for.”

“I never asked for that” Clarke retorted her voice sounding disgusted by the very idea “I am just trying to keep us alive.”

“You were born for this Clarke” the commander said after a moment of silence “Same as me”

Not soon after Clarke finally gave up speaking with Lexa and left the commander’s tent to get some rest herself. Marie heard Lexa stepping through the tent for some minutes before she shrugged out of her coat and joined them in the sleeping area. The commander felt Marie’s eyes on her the second she stepped behind the thin veil.

“You heard all that, didn’t you?” Lexa addressed the girl who was peering up at her with her huge grey eyes. Marie nodded while a thousand thoughts raced through her mind. The girl could hear the young woman sigh heavily and after a few moments of silence Marie asked barely above a whisper “Will I have to die for you, too?”

Lexa felt her throat contracting painfully at the question voiced by the girl who still carried so much innocence. She had no intention of ever lying to their charge but she did not have it in her right now to be bluntly honest as well, so she settled for “Anya and I will protect you to the best of our abilities in the battle and you would not be considered a warrior yet, Marie.” The words alone obviously were not enough to settle the girl’s worries, so Lexa offered the only other thing she could right now. She crouched down next to Marie’s furs and opened her arms, inviting the girl to hug her. Marie hurled herself into Lexa’s open arms immediately, her small body shaking slightly from tears she had not been aware of. The commander enveloped the girl strongly and tried to sooth the child in her arms.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here you go, you will see what talent I have chosen for Marie :) Hope you like it...  
> And the battle against the Mountain ... sorry in advance for that
> 
> Previously in chapter 56  
> Marie had a sparring match with Octavia in which she held her ground successfully. The whole army is awaiting the signal to finally attack. A last war council is held and Clarke and Lexa talk in private.

Chapter 57

The next three days trickled by awfully slow. The tension in the army camp was getting thicker with each hour that passed waiting for the signal. Marie could see that the generals and Lexa were getting anxious. Clarke obviously feared that Bellamy had been detected as they had lost contact with him some time ago now.

The only one who did not seem to mind the wait very much was Anya. The woman had used the three days to rest mostly and Clarke had taken out her stitches a day ago, after which Anya had stormed to the training grounds immediately. Clarke had been less then pleased but Anya had been unstoppable. Marie had watched with worried eyes how Anya had challenged Indra to a fight. There was no clear winner in the friendly match but luckily Anya’s injury had not broken open again so Clarke had given her a free pass knowing that the stubborn woman would not heed her advice to rest longer.

After the night she had listened to Lexa and Clarke talking Marie had even more problems with sleeping. Hearing Lexa say out loud that being a leader meant to ask your warriors to die for them had really driven home to the girl that there was a very real possibility that she could die in the battle. She knew that Anya and Lexa could also fall but she had never thought about her own death in that context before and she was afraid of the battle, deathly afraid at that.

Both Anya and Lexa had no idea how to help their charge. They had both caught on to Marie’s sullen mood and even sleeping snuggled up to one of them did not keep the girl’s nightmare away anymore. The commander had asked Anya to keep the girl occupied for some time as she intended to speak with Clarke in private. Anya had of course agreed with a slight teasing remark concerning Lexa’s obvious growing concern for the blond haired leader.

The training grounds were crowed when Anya led Marie away from the commander’s tent so Anya led the girl in the opposite direction of the Mountain into the woods. The familiar sounds of the forest soothing Anya’s nerves. The general was awkwardly antsy to return to the Mountain. She tried to ask the girl about what she remembered about the plants surrounding them, which were edible and which to avoid. But it was obvious that the girl’s mind was elsewhere and her answers were delivered in a clipped tone a testament to her sour mood.

Anya huffed in annoyance, she was starting to doubt that the path of a warrior was the right one for the girl. “I dearly hope that you get your attitude in check when the battle begins” Anya rebuked the girl “Or you will bring both Lexa and me in danger if we try to protect you.” “I won’t be a liability” Marie said in a small voice looking down at her feet. The general sighed lowly “We have taught you enough that you won’t just stand in the way. But you are being overly difficult…”

Marie just furrowed her brow but stayed silent. A patch of flowers on the ground caught her attention. They seemed to be affected by the radiation and glowed so strong it was even visible in the soft daylight filtering through the trees surrounding them. Someone must have stepped onto them carelessly, as some were broken off, the petals already beginning to fall from the flowers. Anya watched as the girl kneeled in front of the flowers “They are quite beautiful, but their sight is even more fascinating in the dark” the woman commented. “It is sad, someone destroyed them” the girl said in a forlorn tone and gently let her fingertips glide over the soft flowers. Anya had to blink twice at what she saw right in front of her eyes.

The very second Marie had touched the first flower the petals on the ground had somehow reattached to the stem of the flowers and they now stood unscathed again. The girl’s face was illuminated with a gentle smile and her fingers seemed to glow as the flowers seemed to bend slightly to meet the girl’s hands. Anya had watched the proceedings with her mouth hanging open in silent shock and when the girl turned back around to her as if she just remembered Anya’s presence at all, the girl started blinking her eyes as if waking up from a kind of trance. Her grey eyes wandered between her hands and the flowers widened in utter disbelief.

“How have you done that?” Anya asked after a moment as her mind still had difficulties to grasp what had just happened. She distinctly remembered old myths she had heard from an elder of the desert clan about people who once had walked the earth and were able to heal by their touch. “I..” the girl stuttered and shook her head helplessly. “Has this happened before?” Anya implored with an intense gaze. Marie immediately shook her head in the negative. The girl could not even explain what had happened at all. She had just seen the destroyed flowers and something inside of her had called to her to kneel before them and touch them mourning the loss of such beauty. Her fingertips had felt awkwardly warm and tingly when she touched them but she had not even noticed what she had somehow made happen before she had seen the shock in Anya’s face. “Do not let anyone see that” Anya cautioned. Marie cocked her head to the side obviously confused by the order.

“You seem to be gifted with a very rare talent, Marie” Anya said “But until you don’t know the extent of your talent and how to control it, it can be dangerous for you if others know.” The girl nodded her head immediately still looking at her own fingers with confusion written over her face “Do you know someone, who can do something like that?”

Anya shook her head in the negative “No and that is why we need to keep it a secret for now. I distinctly remember an old myth about people gifted with the power of healing but I don’t know if there is any truth to them.”

Before the general got the chance to elaborate and recall to the girl what she remembered a flare illuminated the sky. “The signal” the girl said in a breathless voice.

Anya nodded and immediately grabbed onto Marie’s shoulder pulling the girl along hurrying them back to the army’s camp. Lexa and Clarke were standing in front of the commander’s tent looking down onto the main part of the army as Lexa gave the order to sound the horn signalling for their army to start the attack.

The preparation to leave went over in a blur. Anya jostled Marie back into the commander’s tent having the girl sit on one of the chairs and after applying her own war paint, she carefully designed Marie’s war paint. She used black war paint around the girl’s eyes and created a design similar to that Lexa wore, but she created what resembled a bird with outstretched wings over the young girl’s face making her grey eyes appear even clearer and harder. Lexa approved of the design and handed Marie a light sword to give her more protection then the dagger would offer, the girl had shown in the match against Octavia that she had at least some instinct fighting with a sword.

While all the warriors seemed to buzz with excitement and energy eagerly awaiting to shed the blood of their enemies, all Marie felt was a paralyzing fear. She stumbled behind Lexa who walked next to Clarke shadowed by Gustus and Anya keeping closer to the young girl feeling strangely numb in her body. Once they had passed the perimeter where they knew the acid fog could reach them, the army started to emit war cries all around.

Marie would be joining Lexa and Anya in the team to heading for Mount Weather’s front door. It was a relatively short distance to cover by foot and no soldiers seemed to be waiting for them.

“They are sure their door is unbreakable” Clarke said looking around the entrance of the Mountain. Lexa nodded, they had agreed to assemble the army’s main force at the front gate to keep the attention of the Mountain Men away from the small group heading for the dam and the reaper tunnels.

Standing in front of the big metal door the waiting began anew. “For what are we waiting exactly?” Marie asked Anya lowly anxious for something to happen. A man from the Ark had dug a hole into the door and inserted explosives made by Raven.  The girl could see Lexa and Clarke speaking with each other a slight distance away but she could not hear the words. “For the red lamp to fade. Clarke said, that signalled the dam’s destruction and would leave the Mountain without power” Anya explained in a hushed tone, dearly hoping that their plan would work, as their successfulness solely dependent on that step.

From the direction of the dam a loud explosion suddenly resonated making the ground they were standing on vibrate slightly and the small red lamp went out a second later.

“Time window begins” Clarke said offering the remote control of the explosives to Lexa. The commander wanted to press the button together, but nothing happened once they did. “Why doesn’t it work?” Lexa asked with a furrowed brow. “They must be jamming the signal” Clarke cried out “I must get closer”. Once the blonde moved in the direction of the door soldiers suddenly appeared on a ridge positioned on a side of the door opening fire on them.

“You work on the door” Lexa ordered Clarke and motioned to a small group of warriors to follow her “I will take care of the soldiers” The blonde leader nodded and Lincoln stayed with her to help while Marie hurried closely behind Anya praying silently that the bullets would miss them but the soldiers seemed to still aim for the group around Clarke.

Once they had reached the top of the ridge and Lexa motioned the warriors to attack, Anya having her sword at the ready, a soldier from the Mountain appeared having a white flag in his hands he had put up in surrender. Lexa halted her warriors with a simple gesture waiting for the man to make his move she scanned the area looking out if they had just ran into a trap but all the soldiers of the Mountain who had aimed at them had lowered their weapons.

“I am here on the presidents order” the man addressed Lexa, clearly aware of who he was talking to “He wishes to make a deal”

Lexa’s lips thinned as her fingers tightened around her sword eager to strike at the man but waiting what they had to offer. The man cautiously stepped closer and Lexa saw he had a radio in his other hand and a rectangular object strapped to his belt that looked strangely like a mirror.

“The president offers to let all of the prisoners from you go unscathed” the man said.

“On what terms?” Lexa asked her mind already reeling with the possibility to get all the prisoners out without further bloodshed.

“You call your army to stand down, leave the area and your people will be save from us” the man said.

The commander furrowed her brow. That deal sounded too easy to be true. “What happens with the Skykru?” Lexa asked.

“They are not part of the deal” the man said and suddenly his eyes found Marie standing behind the commander “The president also demands to have her” he pointed with his finger at Marie who sucked in a loud gasp of air her grey eyes widening.

Anya tightened the grip on her sword her knuckles becoming white under her skin and she seemed to growl.

“What if I don’t agree to the deal?” Lexa retorted. She knew that they could still win this battle once Clarke succeeded in opening the door.

The man’s face contorted into an ugly smirk “The president knew you would not be convinced so easily” he motioned the commander closer pushing a button on the rectangular object somehow turning the piece of teach on. Lexa cautiously stepped closer Gustus shadowing her to strike the man down in a second if necessary. The commander looked at the object in the man’s hands and Anya’s breath caught in her throat painfully as she recognized the room the Mountain Men had kept her in. The cages they could see were all empty now and the prisoners had been forced on their knees in front of a row of soldiers armed with guns pointing at the front line of prisoners. “They will all be dead in a few seconds otherwise” the man drawled obviously deeply pleased with the progression.

Lexa had to control her fury but it must have shown on her face as the man pressed a button on the radio and just said “Shoot” and the soldiers killed the first line of prisoners with single clean shots to their heads, their lifeless bodies slumping to the floor. Lexa’s eyes widened in horror at the sight, she knew they would never reach this room to rescue any of the prisoners but something still made her pause.

“You may have your deal, with the exception of the girl and the Skykru outside of the Mountain” the commander said in a cold voice but the man shook his head “We feared you would say that. One of our spotters has been able to locate your capitol and we are able to fire a missile there as well now. All I have to do is give the order and the missile will explode destroying your capitol.”

Lexa felt the blood run cold in her body. She thought of all the innocents living in Polis, of her novitiates and everything the capitol stood for. She had no means of checking if the man was bluffing or not, but she could not risk it.

“I accept” she said in a monotonous voice, her face a mask of stone. “I was sure we would reach an agreement” the man said and he motioned for a soldier to take the girl. Marie looked at Lexa in complete bewilderment her eyes watering with tears as she shook her head. She tried to struggle against the hands seizing her but the man was way stronger than her.

“Anya...” Marie desperately cried out for the woman to help her but Anya did not move. Her face unreadable only her eyes showed the regret she felt, but she would not move against the commander’s order. She felt something inside of her break as she had to watch the girl being dragged away her screams dulling the farer she was brought away and she knew her former second well enough to read the little signs in her face as the tightening of her jaw to know that she felt the same way.

They had promised to protect the girl and they had both failed her…


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really baffled by the response from last chapter, but in a positive way ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 57  
> Marie discovers a healing talent with Anya when she heals destroyed flowers. The signal from Bellamy brings them back to the camp and the battle begins. Lexa is approached by the Mountain with the deal. Stand down with the army, hand over Marie and get her prisoners back, or watch the prisoners being executed and Polis bombed by a missile. Lexa reluctantly accepts the deal.

Chapter 58

Marie continued to scream and struggle against the soldier from the Mountain dragging her into a smaller door and through unfamiliar halls. She was paralyzed with fear and still could not believe that Lexa had just handed her over. She had seen Anya when she was dragged away, regret plainly to see in her brown eyes but she had not moved to help her, Marie knew that the woman would never disobey the commander like that but it still hurt.

The question if she would someday have to die for Lexa flashing back up in her mind. Bitter tears streamed down her cheeks as she thought that her “someday” was obviously way sooner. When she had thought about the possibility last night she had envisioned being wounded mortally in the battle but never being handed over just like that. She was dragged into a room where Marie saw some of the others from the drop ship. Some were locked into cages while others were chained to the wall, she also saw Raven and Abby among them. Marie recognized Harper and Monroe, both being contained in a small cage, and both of their bodies were littered with bruises and Harper seemed barely conscious.

When the man dragged her towards a table and ripped her coat from her Marie started to struggle again. She struggled in earnest once she spotted corpses on the side of the room on table like they wanted to strap her to. She did not recognize who had died exactly on this tables, but the corpses were dressed in weird gowns and bloody patches were visible through the thin fabric.

“Just make it easier for all of us and stop your senseless struggle” a man wearing a suit drawled at her. The man had dark hair and eyes and a sneer was plastered on his face but he had to be important as the others from the Mountain all listened to his commands. All of her struggles were in vain when she was hoisted onto the table by three soldiers at once. They quickly strapped her to the table face down immobilizing her completely. Fear gripped her body and she could barely breathe anymore.

A man wearing a medical gown shoved up her shirt and lowered her trousers slightly exposing her hip. He sprayed some liquid onto the exposed area, she tried to wiggle away but the restrains were too tightly and suddenly Marie heard a screeching sound and without any warning she suddenly felt a blinding pain explode in her hip. She screamed at the top of her lungs but the pain did not stop so didn’t the screeching noise.

“Please stop” Marie could distinctly make out Abby’s voice “She is just a child”. Marie suddenly lost consciousness as the screeching noise finally stopped and all became black around her, her body succumbing to the shock.

In the meantime Lexa had spoken to Clarke telling her of the deal. The commander hoped that her eyes would tell the blonde leader how much she regretted the decision she had to make but the look of utter bewilderment belied that hope instantly.

She nevertheless motioned Gustus to sound the retreat as she had promised and a few moments later her prisoners were released. The people stumbling out of the Mountain were so weakened most of them were barely able to walk and Lexa doubted she had ever had a real chance to get them out without the deal. They would not have been of much help in the battle and would have fallen easily.

The commander led her army away from the Mountain her heart getting heavier with each step she took. Anya did not seem to fare much better and the look of utter devastation on her mentor’s face made Lexa stop the army “I may have made a deal with Mountain to call for the retreat so I cannot ask you to fight the Mountain. But whoever wants to try and help Skykru can do so…” She let her voice trail off, she could not join whoever wanted to return to the Mountain’s door. Anya looked at Lexa searching her eyes for something and when she seemed to have found what she was searching for she clasped Lexa’s forearm “May we meet again”. Lexa had known the moment she had spoken that Anya would return to the Mountain without any sliver of doubt. She dearly hoped that they would somehow succeed with the impossible and that Anya could rescue Marie.

Not many warriors seemed willing to return to the Mountain. They had seen the door close again and the fear for guns was still running deep in their veins. But Anya led a small group of twenty soldiers back to the Mountain approaching the tunnels and Lincoln was of course among them.

They met Clarke and Octavia in the tunnels with whom Lincoln shared a passionate kiss immediately. Clarke eyed their group suspiciously addressing Anya bitterly “Hasn’t your commander sounded the retreat?”

The general nodded “She has, but she gave those who wanted to return the choice and we chose to return. So how do we get in?”

Clarke turned back to the door hammering against it with her bare hands. Anya furrowed her brow that would only work in alerting the Mountain to their presence. As she made to tell the blonde this the door in front of them suddenly opened from the other side. Anya and the other warriors had already grabbed their weapons to attack whoever was behind that door. But they were not faced with a soldier from the Mountain but rather with Bellamy. The man did not seem impressed with the size of the army “That is all you have?” Two other teenagers appeared behind him reuniting with Clarke and Octavia and a young woman wearing one of the protective suits appeared as well. Anya whipped out her sword ready to kill the woman from the Mountain but Bellamy stepped in front of her “She helped us. She is not the enemy”

Anya reluctantly lowered her weapon when Clarke backed him up. It was clear quickly that Skykru had no plan on how to succeed now that the commander’s army was not there to fight for them. With a bigger force Anya would have barged just right in but she knew that would be suicide under this conditions so the woman settled on waiting what Clarke would come up with.

The few soldiers they encountered on their way to a man called Dante were killed before they even saw them coming. The man had obviously been the president of this place and Anya itched to kill him immediately. Forcing the man in the direction of a room Skykru called command centre was easy with a sword pointing at his back but the man did not give up the entry codes and Anya watched with rapped confusion how one of the teenagers started to work on the doors programming.

“We don’t need him anymore, do we?” Anya asked Clarke pointing her sword at Dante wanting to end him already but the girl vehemently declined. The teenager suddenly whooped in excitement and the door slid open making all the warriors take a step back whipping out their swords.

Anya followed Clarke into the room once it was clear the room was save and watched as the teenager who had opened the door now worked on more tech in front of him. Suddenly moving pictures appeared just like on the little thing the Mountain Man outside on the ridge had shown to Lexa showing a room where the other Skykru were kept. Anya growled in anger once she recognized Marie being hoisted from the table with a bleeding wound on her body but as the soldiers hoisted the girl into a cage she still seemed to be alive but judging from her lack of reaction to the treatment she had probably lost consciousness. The woman remembered that Clarke had told her Marie’s cells were somehow superior so they would probably try to keep her alive for as long as possible. That would hopefully give her time to get to the girl before they had killed her.

Clarke spoke over the radio with Cage demanding her friends to be set free or she would kill his father. Anya looked at the blonde girl sceptically she doubted that would really change their course of actions. She knew that any kind of good leader would readily sacrifice the life of one man in order to save more of their own. She was proven correct when Cage now had Clarke’s own mother strapped to the table as his only reaction.

“Can’t we just attack them where they are?” Anya asked pointing at the picture of the room. The teenager working with the tech shook his head “They shut themselves into this level. There is no way in and with most of the power systems damaged I can’t hack into it.” Anya furrowed her brow she was unfamiliar with a lot of the words in the context the boy used them, but she understood that he regarded it impossible to get into the room.

Clarke seemed to have an idea after a few moments of tense silence “Can you program the vents in a reverse way. Have them suck in outside air?”

Bellamy looked at the girl with widened eyes “Clarke that would kill all the innocents”. Anya wondered mutely why Bellamy looked so affronted at the idea. She knew well that Lexa and most of the warriors would never have stayed true to Clarke’s original plan of only a rescue mission.

Suddenly movements could be seen on the pictures of another hall and Clarke said that they would be attacking the commander centre. Anya motioned her warriors outside “We will guard the entrance”.

Clarke agreed instantly while the teenage boy seemed to be working furiously with the tech after confirming that theoretically the programming she had asked for should be possible. The warriors fanned out in the corridor seeking cover wherever something was available and then they waited. They had the advantage of the surprise on their side, the soldiers had obviously not been aware of their presence.

Two of the warriors who had come with Anya were wounded by the guns of the Mountain Men but they managed to keep them away from the door. They were still trying to shoot them when suddenly a loud screeching alarm sounded. The soldiers from the Mountain were distracted enough by the alarm for Anya and her warriors to strike them down one by one without any further losses.

Anya had just driven her sword through the last soldier when the door to the command centre slid open and Clarke stepped out looking deathly pale. Anya surmised that the teenage boy had succeeded then and all the Mountain Men were bound to die now.

“They had opened the level once the alarm sounded” Clarke said to Anya her voice sounding hollow and her hands shaking. Anya felt little pity for the blonde girl, leading meant making hard choices.

The sight that met them on the way was horrifying. Corpses lay scattered around level 5. The people looked as if they had all suddenly caught fire and had been burnt to death. A boy probably not older than five summers had still been breathing labouredly every breath a loud wheezing sound in the deathly silence around him. Anya had barely spared him a glance as she had slid his throat ending his suffering quickly.

They did not meet many survivors on their way to the room where Marie and the others were kept. A few soldiers who had obviously already been treated had tried to run and escape but Anya had her soldiers hunt them down, she did not want even one Mountain Man surviving. When the sun rose again the Mountain Men would have been extinguished completely from their existence.

Halfway to the room they ran into Skykru. A man was carrying Marie’s limp body and Anya immediately stepped up to him demanding to be handed the girl over. The man seemed to hesitate for a second but Anya merely growled at him in warning and he gave the girl up willingly then. She cautiously cradled the small body in her arms feeling for a pulse on her neck and with a relieved breath she felt the signs of life in the girl’s body.

Abby offered to look at Marie in Camp Jaha but Anya immediately declined telling the woman that they would join the rest of the army on their way back to Polis now. The woman watched as Clarke seemed to break down in front of her mother crying as she said “I tried to be the good guy, mom”. The doctor had tears in her eyes as well looking at the corpses scattered around the room her eyes staying on the children’s bodies for longer before she said “Maybe there are no good guys”.

“The commander will surely reach out to you soon to establish a lasting alliance” Anya said to Clarke before she turned to leave but the girl did not react to her. Their group was held up when Octavia made to join them together with Lincoln and Bellamy stepped in loudly demanding his sister to return to their own settlement. But the girl was a force on her own to be beckoned with and decided that Skykru were never really her people. The boy looked defeated to see his little sister leave but he seemed to accept for now that nothing he could say would change her mind nor would he be able to physically force her to stay. Anya was sure Indra would be happy to have her second back at her side.

Anya was worried that Marie did not stir once on the way but her body still felt warm and her heart continued to beat. The army had travelled extremely slowly due to the many weakened prisoners from the Mountain. Lexa had made them set up the camp not long from the Mountain so the small group of warriors around Anya did not take long to reach them.

Tales immediately started to spread through the camp telling how Clarke had defeated the Mountain on her own and how the Mountain Men had suddenly burnt to death.

Anya brought Marie straight into the commander’s makeshift tent. Lexa had sat at the table on her own, things thrown on the floor and some plates shattered in obvious anger. The woman’s green eyes were filled with tears when she whirled around and shouted angrily “I told you I didn’t want …” She broke of once she recognized Anya and spotted Marie in her arms.

“You returned” Lexa sounded completely baffled and Anya nodded gently placing the girl’s limp body on Lexa’s bed. It was obvious to Anya in this moment that Lexa had not believed there was a possible chance to win against the Mountain without the army and that she had willingly let her leave even though she thought to have leave her to go a suicide mission. The commander looked at the young girl with regret clear on her face “Is she…?”

“No” Anya shook her head quickly “She is alive, just unconscious. But she was wounded gravely.” The woman gently rolled Marie’s body onto her side and exposed the still sluggishly bleeding wounds on her hips. Even though the wounds did not look big, Anya knew them to be extremely deep. Anya had seen what they had done to Marie when Clarke’s mother had been strapped to the table. The general explained to her former second what had happened at the Mountain.

Silence settled over them as Lexa seemed to process what had happened “So Clarke has managed to free her friends and lay siege to the Mountain?” It was clear Lexa had a hard time processing all the new information.

The general nodded “The Mountain has been erased. Blood must have blood.”

“What is it?” Anya asked Lexa when the younger woman still looked unsettled. “Clarke has managed on her own, what I and every commander before me have failed to do” Lexa answered some admiration for the blonde leader obvious on her face.

Anya furrowed her brow “You have grown to care for her…” She let her voice trail of. She doubted the clans would take it well if the commander was to be romantically involved with Skykru. Now that the Mountain was defeated the clans would search for another enemy and Skykru with their tech would come into their focus quickly.

Marie suddenly started to move slightly under the hand Anya still had placed over the girl’s side. “Marie” she addressed the girl in a soothing voice and the girl’s eyes flew open her body twisting away from her hand. The girl was gasping for air and her eyes were widened in blind terror. Tears were streaming down the girl’s face but every time Anya or Lexa tried to reach out to her the girl scooted farther away from them and she did not react to soothing words. In the end the girl exerted herself and slumped over powerlessly. Lexa immediately called Gustus to call for a healer.

Bot Lexa and Anya were worried that the girl had not reacted to them at all. But Lexa feared that she may have destroyed any trust the girl had had for her with handing her over to the Mountain. The girl was still too young to completely understand the burdens of her position and what sacrifices came with it. She hoped she would be able to atone for her decision somehow but it would probably take a long time as she had failed the girl completely. Anya would probably have an easier chance once the girl heard that the general had returned to the Mountain just for her.

“Everything will work out” Anya said disrupting Lexa’s silent musings.

“Mmpfh” the commander grunted in silent disagreement. Now that their common enemy had been defeated she would have a harder time keeping the coalition together. Lexa was facing hard times once the happiness of defeating the Mountain died down but she would face them when they presented she felt better knowing that she still had Anya and Gustus at her side who she knew would both rather die for her then betray her.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapters will, as I already told you, solely focuse around the grounders. And as we don't know anything about what really happened between the battle and when Clarke gets dragged to Polis, now I really have to make everything up so my writing progress is really slower in comparison, I hope you will stick with me nevertheless. 
> 
> Previously in chapter 58  
> Marie is brought into the chamber where the Skykru prisoners are kept being drilled for their bone marrow. Marie is also drilled into until she passes out. Lexa leads her army away from the Mountain giving whoever wants to return to help Skykru a choice. Anya returned for Marie and helped Clarke in fighting against the Mountain Men’s soldiers. The general brings Marie back to the rest of the army while the girl is unconscious. When Marie wakes she is unresponsive.

Chapter 59

The healer who had been called to take a look at Marie and care for her wounds seemed to be at a loss on how to treat the deep small wounds properly. Anya wondered if she should have taken up Abby’s offer and brought Marie back to the Skykru’s settlement instead where they would have been better equipped to help the girl.

All the healer could do was dress the wounds with an ointment working against infections and intendent to increase healing. The man said that he feared the girl would be unable to walk for some time but it was next to impossible for him to assess how deep the wounds really were.

The girl was obviously deeply exhausted and she did not wake for a long time, sleeping through the camp being broken up in the morning. Marie woke to a swaying motion and arms encircling her. After a moment it registered into her sluggish mind that she was pressed against someone’s chest and flashes of the Mountain Men dragging her through their halls flashed up in her mind, Marie started to struggle against the restraining arms.

Anya tightened her arms around Marie’s trashing form when the girl started to struggle against her hold before the girl would fall from the horse. “Marie, calm down” Anya addressed the girl in a soothing tone “You are safe now.” The girl’s eyes were unfocused with pain and she obviously did not recognize her completely as she continued to struggle. “Ssshh” Anya soothed “I have got you, _ai skaifaya_ ” The girl’s nickname seemed to somehow reach deeper into her clouded consciousness and the girl’s eyes connected with her brown ones whispering in a strained befuddled voice “Anya?”

The general tightened her arms around the girl giving her a reassuring squeeze “Yes, you are safe now” It took Marie obviously a few minutes to understand the words her face contorting with a pained grimace with every step the horse beneath her took jostling her injured hip with the movements. “How?” Marie asked in a weak voice laced with confusion. Anya shortly glanced at Lexa, Marie seemed oblivious to the rest of the army behind them as well as to Lexa and Gustus on horses beside Anya.

The commander motioned for a guard to call for a healer. It was obvious the girl was in pain and she hoped they had something strong enough to rid her of it. Their journey to Polis would probably take them at least until sundown. If they even reached the capitol at all this day.

Anya lowly explained to Marie what had happened after Lexa had called for the retreat to be sounded “Some of us returned to fight with Skykru” “You returned for me?” the girl interrupted her with such hope in her eyes that Anya immediately reassured her “Yes, I returned for you”.

The healer Lexa had called for interrupted them. He handed Anya some herbs the girl was to chew. Marie reluctantly chewed on the herbs which had a bitter taste to them her features showing her disgust at the taste clearly. The girl stared ahead mutely while chewing on the herbs and Anya could see her starting to struggle to stay awake. She ordered the girl to spit out the remains of the herbs pulled her more tightly against her chest instructing her to rest. They would continue their travels for some hour’s maybe way into the night and it would be less taxing on the girl if she slept through most it.

Anya could clearly spot the conflict on the commander’s exhausted features and lowly addressed the young woman so that only she would be able to catch the words “She will forgive you eventually”. Lexa seemed to startle slightly at the comment but stayed silent only glancing at the now sleeping girl in Anya’s arms. They had both noticed that Marie had not once asked after Lexa when she had been awake. But while Anya chalked that up to pain and exhaustion Lexa knew better. She had given the order for the retreat and agreed to hand over Marie, not Anya. And she had not returned to the Mountain for Marie, she could not have while Anya did. Marie would forgive Anya quickly that much was obvious but Lexa doubted she would be granted forgiveness this easily as well. Looking back at the army and spotting all those who had been allowed to leave the Mountain because of the deal and thinking of Polis told Lexa that she had made the only choice possible no matter how deeply she had hurt those she cared about with it. Blue eyes full of hurt and disbelief flashed up in her mind at her train of thought and she wondered how the blonde leader was faring. Lexa doubted she would be well with the weight of her own decision to kill all of the Mountain Men.

The army seemed as anxious to return to Polis as quickly as possible just like Lexa herself felt and they all pushed through the exhaustion of the long strenuous travel reaching the big city a few hours after nightfall. The main part of the army erected their tents on the outskirt of the city accommodations impossible to come up with this late in the night. Marie slept through their arrival into the city and Anya carried the girl into the room in the tower assigned to them both by Lexa. The commander had chosen to give them one of the big rooms on the floor her own quarters were located.

The guard and staff of the tower who still were up at this late hour all chanted her title once she entered the tower. She knew that the welcome would have been much grander had they not arrived in the middle of the night but Lexa longed to rest in her own bed. Her nightbloods were all already asleep as well so she would see them the next day knowing that the deal might have saved their lives. Titus had obviously been awoken by someone and greeted her in the hall in front of her quarters.

“Not now, Titus” Lexa said her voice tired. All she wanted was to sleep right now. “The Mountain has fallen?” the bald man asked having heard only rumours until now. The commander nodded “But not thanks to our army” When the man’s brows scrunched in confusion Lexa held up her hand silencing him “I will explain in the morning”. Titus bowed to her although obviously reluctantly and Lexa finally entered her quarters shrugging out of the armour letting the pieces fall to the floor carelessly. The commander fell into her bed still clad in her trousers, undershirt and boots. She felt into a sleep haunted by familiar blue and grey eyes looking at her in utter betrayal.

Anya had placed Marie’s sleeping form on the large bed in the centre of the room covering the girl with soft warm furs. The woman quietly stripped out of her clothes and walked over to the windows looking out over the city. A cold breeze moved the veils slightly and Anya wondered what would happen now. Lexa had been able to forge the coalition because of a common enemy and as long as Anya could remember the Mountain had always cast a shadow over Trikru lands. Now that the Mountain had finally fallen the future was uncertain.

Distressed noises coming from the bed called Anya away from the windows and she laid down next to Marie gently trying to sooth the girl.

Marie suddenly opened her eyes widened with fear her breathing unregularly and once she recognized Anya holding her the girl sobbed “You really came back for me. It wasn’t a dream?”

“No” Anya reassured against her throat constricting painfully “You are safe now, Marie.” The girl cried for some time her face buried against Anya’s chest her sobs shaking her slight frame.

When the girl pulled back a bit she peered up at Anya with huge eyes “Did Lexa also come back?” The voice of the girl sounded awfully small.

The general shook her head with a heavy sigh “She could not”. She could only watch on helplessly as Marie’s grey eyes flooded with fresh tears and hold the girl against her chest. Anya gently let finger glide through the girl’s blonde locks until the girl had exhausted herself crying herself to sleep. It took Anya longer to find rest herself even though her body was exhausted her mind could not seem to find rest.

Anya was woken by a knock on the door a young handmaid slipping into the room a moment later carrying a tray with breakfast “Heda ordered to have breakfast brought to you. She is in a meeting until midmorning and not to be disturbed”. Anya furrowed her brow but let the handmaid walk around the room picking up their clothes to be washed. The general gently shook the girl’s shoulder to rouse her. Her grey eyes searching their surroundings frightened before she recognized Anya.

What the healer had feared was proven correct when Marie collapsed back onto the bed after she tried to stand up her legs unable to support her weight with a pained groan. Anya turned to the handmaid who was still busy with cleaning up the room and preparing a bath “Call for a healer”. The young girl probably barely having seen thirteen summers scrambled to obey when Anya glared at her.

“It hurts” the girl said in a pitiful voice “And why can’t I walk?” “The healer give you something against the pain” Anya reassured her charge “And you will probably just need some time to rest before you get better”.

A few minutes later the handmaiden returned with an older woman with dark blonde hair and light brown eyes. She addressed the girl in English “Can you turn on your stomach, so that I can properly look at your wounds?” Anya had wanted to tell the woman that Marie was proficient enough to speak their language but thought better of it in the last second who knew what the girl might hear if others weren’t aware she would be able to understand them. The general helped Marie roll over when it was obvious that even that movement caused her great pain.

The healer gently felt around the wounds after removing the rest of the reddish ointment. Even applying very little pressure made the girl moaning in pain trying to twist away from the touch. “Can she walk?” the healer asked Anya and the general shook her head “Her legs gave out once she stood up”.

Anya watched the woman’s face worry flashing over her features and asked “She will be able to walk again, won’t she?” The general had even thought of that possibility until now, what if the girl never recovered from her injuries?

Marie had lifted her head twisting around to look at the healer with fear in her eyes. The woman regarded the girl obviously unsure “I can’t say. The wounds must be very deep to cause such damage. Only time will tell.”

She applied another ointment onto the girl’s wounds dressing her hips with clean bandages and prepared a tea for the girl. The healer turned to Anya once Marie started drinking the tea obediently pulling a face at the bitter taste “She should rest and not attempt to walk as long as her legs don’t support her weight. She might increase the damage otherwise. I will come back in a few hours. All we can do now is working against the pain and keeping the wounds clean.”

Anya watched as Marie’s eyes started to fall close obviously against her will “You have given her something to sleep?”

The healer nodded “Keeping her as immobile as possible seems the best with her wounds.”

“How long do you think until she gets better?” Anya asked looking down at the girl with a sinking feeling.

“I don’t know” the healer answered honestly shaking her head “I will come back in a few hours. I want to dose her again with something to sleep at least for a few days. She should only be awake to eat and drink something”.

Anya nodded and watched the healer leave. The handmaid told her meekly that she had prepared a bath for her and the general dismissed the girl with a wave of her hands. She could not say why, but somehow the handmaid felt off somehow. 

The general left the room calling two guards to stand post in front of the doors with the strict order to keep everyone out and notify her were Marie to wake before she returned.

Anya wandered through the tower in the direction of the throne room where she assumed Lexa would be briefing Titus on what had happened. The woman did not look forward to having to deal with the annoying man on a daily basis again. The man had always done everything in his power to drive her away from Lexa once she had taken up command and she doubted he would be pleased to see her return to Lexa’s side.

Guards standing in front of the doors to the throne room confirmed her suspicion. One of them was Ryder and the man immediately stepped aside to let her pass. The other man, Anya did not recognize, stepped in to halt her approach “The flamekeeper said the commander is not to be disturbed”. Anya growled at the impertinent man in warning and Ryder said “Heda herself gave orders to let her general enter if she wished to do so”. The other man reluctantly stepped aside as well opening the great doors for the woman.

Lexa sat on her throne in her full commander regalia. She gave quite the formidable impression only her green eyes showing her exhaustion and obvious annoyance. “Titus” Anya drawled in a mock greeting. The bald man’s eyes glittered angrily at her “I have given the guards orders to not let anyone enter. This is a private meeting.”

Anya just arched her brow at the man unfazed and looked at Lexa which only made the man’s anger mount at being blatantly ignored. The commander acknowledged Anya’s presence with a simple nod and shortly addressed Titus “Anya will resume her place as my personal advisor, Titus. She is always to be allowed entry” as a second thought she added “So is our second”.

Lexa could see a vein pulsing on Titus’ forehead in silent fury but he wisely kept his mouth shut and she now addressed Anya “How is Marie?” The girl had occupied her thoughts now for some time making it hard to concentrate on Titus’ tirade on how they should attack the Skykru right now when they were still vulnerable. She had waved the man off immediately, she planned to engage Skykru in a permanent alliance and not wipe them out.

Anya’s face clearly showed her worry for the girl “Not as well, as I had hoped. She is unable to walk. The wounds have caused great harm.” The woman could see Lexa breathing in deeply her face contorted with guilt “What does the healer say?” Anya glanced out towards the balcony shortly before she answered “She is unsure when Marie will heal…” after a second and swallowing deeply she added “…or if she ever will”.

Lexa covered her face with her hands for a moment silence settling over them as she stared into nothing. She had been the cause for the injuries, she may not have caused them with her own hands but for all that mattered she could have as well.

“Anya and the girl should leave for a Trikru village before word of her presence gets out” Titus said after another moment. Anya did not like at all how the flamekeeper spoke about her as if she wasn’t in the same room and she would have liked nothing more than to just kill him.

Lexa also looked furious and swept from her throne in a single quick motion stepping up to Titus their noses almost touching as she seethed into the man’s face “If you value your life, you will never suggest something like that again”

The man seemed surprised by her outburst and lowered his head in submission silently apologizing although Anya could see the anger and distrust in his eyes. “Leave now, start preparations for the feast and call the novitiates to me” Lexa commander backing away slightly from the man.

“A feast?” Anya commented once the man had left the throne room. “To celebrate those freed from the Mountain” Lexa said stepping out onto the balcony and Anya followed the clearly troubled woman.

“Not for defeating the Mountain?” Anya asked after a moment below them on the streets the city was slowly coming to life and filling with people milling about their daily routine. Lexa shook her head “I won’t take credit for something that I have not done.”

The general nodded looking out over the city remembering the whispering among the army that had started about the blonde Skykru army. She had tried to dispel the rumour of Clarke making the Mountain Men burn somehow with her pure will but their understanding of tech wasn’t enough to explain what had really happened and the people tented to believe what they wanted to. “They call her _wanheda_ now” Anya remarked after another moment of silence.

Lexa nodded feeling troubled although she had also heard the whispering amongst her soldiers. The tale would have started to spread around Polis and no matter what she were to say at the feast it would not change anything anymore. She wondered if that title would offer protection to Clarke with the respect it commander or if it would put her in danger but the upcoming weeks would show that.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 59  
> Lexa and the army make their way to Polis. Anya talks with Marie telling the girl that she had returned to the Mountain for the girl. On the next morning Anya sees that Marie is unable to walk and the healer is doubtful how long the healing will take or if the damage might be permanent. Titus wants Lexa to send both Anya and Marie away, but the commander waves him off.

Chapter 60

A strange sort of a routine set in for Marie in the span of the next few days. She slept for most of the day induced by the bitter tea the healer forced her to drink and whenever she woke the young handmaiden was there offering her food and something to drink. Sometimes Anya was also there but the general was kept busy with attending meeting with the clan’s ambassadors and helping the preparation of the big festival. Marie’s mind had become a hazy mixture of pain and flashes of her memories of the Mountain and whenever she woke up she was completely drenched in a cold sweat although the tea prevented the nightmares to take form fully. She felt more alone than ever when she woke and only the strange handmaiden was there to keep her company in the back of her mind she registered that she had not once seen the commander. The handmaiden had tried a few times to talk with Marie but the girl outright ignored the other girl just staring at nothing instead. Whenever the healer came with a new dose a the tea Marie started to fight the healer not wanting any more of the strange liquid that made her mind so sluggish.

After seven days the tea started to show side effects and Marie was unable to eat anything getting sick and feeling nauseas after only a few bites. Even though she slept for most of the day her body felt exhausted and when the healer finally had her try to stand up after the seven days her legs still collapsed under her after two steps. Anya who had been alerted by the healer beforehand and had insisted to be present had caught her before she tumbled to the floor completely but the healer still seemed pleased and had said “It is an improvement. But she should start to stay awake for longer now.”

So Marie was only given the tea once or twice a day and immediately once more before the night. She still did not want to drink more of the tea but the healer and Anya insisted that it was necessary. On the first day where she was not given the tea anymore directly after eating Anya had sat with her until the healer deemed enough time had passed to give her another dose. The general had repeated some lessons with her they had already had of some customs the different clans had and their origins. When Marie had asked to be taught some more Trigedasleng Anya had declined and cautioned the girl gently not to let anyone know how much of the language she already was able to understand. Marie had been confused by the strange demand but she had nodded her assent nevertheless. The girl had not once asked to see Lexa at all which still worried Anya slightly. The commander had sat at the girl’s bedside each evening long after the sun had set but Marie had always been asleep.

The commander was swept up into meetings of various kinds having left Polis alone for a few weeks now had only ended with a huge amount of work piled away for her. Anya helped her to the best of her abilities but that now also meant that the general had to leave Marie on her own in their room when the girl was not under the influence of the tea and awake. The young handmaid seemed eager to offer her assistance and without any other fitting alternative Anya agreed to that arrangement although she somehow did not feel well leaving their charge with a stranger like that.

Marie had no interest to talk to the unfamiliar girl in the beginning who had introduced herself as Arla in broken English. Marie was annoyed with the whole situation her hip still hurt with every slight movement but the less she moved the weaker her body got so the healer tried to have her stand up at least once a day now and try to take a few steps across the room with wobbly legs. And Marie was also strangely angry at Lexa’s apparent disinterest in her. Her sadness at having been discarded at the Mountain slowly turning into anger the longer she was left alone without any sign of the commander.

Arla had tried to get the younger girl to talk to her but her first attempts had all not been successful and she was getting nervous. She needed the girl’s corporation to save her family. The handmaid had blindly started conversations trying to get the girl to tell her something of her life in the sky, but Marie had just turned her head away from her wanting to be left alone to her silent sulking. Arla finally succeeded in reaching out to the other girl once she mentioned the commander, she had seen the grey eyes snap to her suddenly an angry glint underlined with a deep sadness appearing in them.

It had been pitifully easy to spin a tale of a girl pouring all her trust and hopes into the commander and to then be betrayed and left like she had never once mattered to her. Once she saw the naïve compassion in Marie’s eyes she had easily started to manipulate the girl’s feelings. But she had to be cautious. Arla had to try to hide what she was doing from the ever suspicious general so she changed the topic of their conversation to the upcoming festival whenever she heard footsteps approaching the room.

So with every short moment Arla was left alone with the girl she poisoned the girl’s mind with lies about the commander using her grief and anger and turning that into hate and a thirst for revenge. She managed to make Marie think that she was owed blood by the commander for her betrayal and she purposefully had not relayed the message from the commander that Marie could ask to meet her whenever the girl wanted. The last few days had been extremely hectic for the commander as she had to solve a discrepancy between the desert clan and the plainriders about a trade convey that had somehow gotten lost on its way. A war was threatening to break out between the two clans and Lexa was stuck in seemingly endless meetings trying to appease both of their leaders to reach a satisfactory compromise.

Anya still tried to be present every time when the healer again looked at Marie’s wounds and had the girl try to stand and walk a few steps. The general was relived to no end to see the girl starting to make progress after another week, Lexa and she had already started to fear the damage would really be lasting which would have destroyed Marie’s future as a warrior before it had even really begun.

“If you continue like that, you will be able to sit with us at the table at the opening ceremony of the festival” Anya said with softness in her brown eyes once Marie was able to walk across the room without any aid. It took the girl some effort as the beads of sweat on the girl’s brow showed and she clearly felt some pain judging by the grimace on her face but she finally started to walk again. “Us?” Marie echoed with a hollow sounding voice and Arla who had been listening in on the conversation hidden in the bathroom under the pretence of preparing a bath had held her breath in shock praying for the other girl not to react to anything Anya might say about the commander. All her plans and the days she had spent manipulating Marie would be in vain if Anya caught on that something was wrong now. Before Anya could question the girl’s uncharacteristic reaction as she had hoped Marie would look forward to the feast a guard entered calling Anya away to another meeting immediately and Arla let out a relieved mute sigh.

She would have to set the plan into motion quicker, the more time that went by the higher the risk that the general would have more moments alone with Marie now that the younger girl was awake for most of the day. The other girl’s soft smile directed at her once she stepped out of the bathroom was like a blow to the stomach and a testament that she had succeeded in garnering the others trust completely but Arla controlled her features carefully forcing a slight smile onto her own face.

“The commander will want to parade you around at the festival for sure” Arla said with malice to Marie helping the girl stand up from the bed and walk through the room carefully. She could see a frown settling on the other girl’s face and she asked “Parade me around?”

“Yeah, of course” Arla said in a know-it-all manner like it was the most obvious thing in the world “You are the girl who fell from the sky, a curiosity. That is solely why the commander took you as her second. You have seen that she doesn’t care about you at the Mountain.”

Marie’s face showed a flash of pain at the memory but she remained silent. She would have liked it better if Arla stopped talking to her about what happened at the Mountain, all she wanted was to forget about everything but it seemed the other girl was obsessed with the matter. “You do want the blood that is your right for that offense, don’t you?” Arla asked and when she saw a sliver of doubt on the younger girl’s face she added in a mocking tone “Or are you nothing more than the weak Sky girl not worth saving the commander surely sees you as such?”

Marie glared at the other girl “I am not weak” she said forcefully her hands balling into angry fists as she repeated what Arla had told her several times “She should bleed for her sins”. Marie was not even sure against who her anger was directed really, she was frustrated with the whole situation. Being stuck in this room with mostly only Arla and that she kept on speaking about the Mountain, Anya for being gone most of the day, her own body for not cooperating with her anymore or the commander for not showing up at all. Marie would like to have a chance to speak to the commander to somehow understand why she had so willingly left her behind.

“So make her” Arla simply said fishing a small dagger carefully wrapped into a bandage from a hidden pocket of her trousers. “Make her?” Marie echoed looking at the dagger with questioning eyes.

Arla nodded and Marie said in a huff “She won’t even see me. I haven’t seen her at all …” The bitterness in her voice was clear. Arla knew that the commander had been within these quarters nearly every night the younger girl had simply never been awake to notice.

“As her second you can officially demand a private audience” Arla explained hoping the girl would take her up on the offer as she needed Marie to make her move as soon as possible before her plot was uncovered “I can relay your demand right now.” She offered the dagger to the girl and Marie paused a second “You do want revenge, don’t you?” Arla said spurring the girl on “That is what you are owed after all”. Marie took a deep breath and nodded taking the dagger in her hand with slightly trembling fingers.

“And making her bleed will make me feel better?” Marie asked looking down at the dagger in a doubtful way. She still had a problem with grasping the concept of revenge. Arla bit her lip reigning in a curse and tried to reassure that of course it would help, their whole culture was based on revenge after all.

When Marie nodded again sliding the dagger into the back of her trousers Arla helped the girl the short distance into the commander’s quarters, which were unguarded right now, as the commander was not in them. “A small cut will be enough” Arla said forcing another smile before she left the girl. Marie looked behind her as she left with a furrow on her brow.

Marie looked around the unfamiliar room in interest. The huge bed in the back of the room was decorated by beautiful wooden carvings and many furs were piled onto the mattress. She could spot some of the commander’s armour and a substitute red sash in an open closet and the red sash brought memories of the battle at Mount Weather back to her mind. How Lexa had spoken with the soldier from the Mountain and had just agreed to hand her over, she had not even looked at her when the soldiers had dragged her away. Anger cursed through her veins again and Arla’s words echoed through her mind telling her that she was owed blood of the commander and that Lexa simply had never cared for her at all, that she had never cared for anyone really, that she would be left behind again.

Her small fingers were clenched around the small dagger she held behind her back when the sound of footsteps alerted her to someone walking through the hall. When she shortly remembered Lexa offering her a hug the night before the battle of the Mountain Marie clenched her jaw angrily forcing the memory from her mind forcefully. She held onto the memory of the commander’s turned back when she was dragged into the Mountain.

Lexa entered her quarters after calling a pause to the meeting when the handmaiden fetched her. She had waited patiently for the girl to be ready to talk with her. She had not seen Marie standing on her own feet and she felt lighter with relieve seeing the girl standing again a testament that the wounds were finally healing. “Marie, I am pleased to see you standing again” Lexa said in a soft voice with a slight smile.

Marie had just looked up at her with her eyes blazing with unconcealed fury “Liar” she had roared at the commander overcome with a thunderstorm of feelings and suddenly managed to strike the commander with the small dagger nearly fitting into her hand. The blade pierced through the sleeve of Lexa’s shirt on her arm and a small cut appeared having nicked the skin slightly. Lexa had been completely unprepared for the attack and had stepped back at the last second not managing to avoid the blade completely. The commander was speechless as she watched the girl staring at the cut on her arm a small amount of black blood standing out against her tanned skin.

The girl’s eyes looked up at her a second later and she let the dagger fall with a resonating clinking sound tears filling her eyes as she muttered “Arla said it would make me feel better…” all of the fury left the grey eyes instantly reflecting now only confusion and loss.

Lexa furrowed her brow in confusion “What would, Marie?” Even though the girl had let the blade fall from her hand Lexa was unsure if she might have other weapons hidden so she kept a distance away from the girl.

“Making you bleed” Marie said her voice heavy with tears. The commander furrowed her brow and let out a strained sigh. She would have gladly offered the girl a chance to take out her anger on her if that was what she needed but Lexa suddenly felt her vision becoming unclear and she looked at her arm in shock. The blade must have been coated in poison and a very strong poison at that. She felt her body starting to sway slightly and knew that her legs would give out in a moment. “Lexa” Marie shouted horrified when the woman started to crumble.

Anya burst into the door when she heard the girl’s scream and rushed to the commander’s form laying on the floor. “Poison” Lexa rasped out her vision blurring even more and her limps started to feel numb and cold with every second that passed.


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kuddos for the last two chapters, I was a little bit down because of the relative lack of comments and I will be on a short family visit vacation, so I won't have time to write the next days
> 
> Previously in chapter 60  
> Two weeks pass with Marie very slowly getting better. Lexa and Anya are busy most of the day so Marie is left alone with the handmaid, Arla. Arla uses the time she has to poison Marie’s mind against Lexa manipulating the girl to attack the commander with a poisoned dagger. Marie does so and watches in horror as the commander starts to die.

Chapter 61

Anya tried to assess what had happened before she burst into the room. Marie looked deathly pale and shaken while tears already ran down her cheeks. She noticed a small dagger lying next to the girl on the floor that was unfamiliar to her. Most alarming was Lexa’s state, the commander’s green eyes were fluttering and she seemed on the verge of losing consciousness altogether.

“What happened?” Anya addressed Marie who stood stock still her breath coming out in short panicked bursts when it became clear that speech had failed Lexa.

“I … I …” Marie sobbed through horrified tears “I didn’t know …”

“Didn’t know what?!” Anya demanded to know forcefully feeling Lexa’s breathing slowing at an alarming pace as her eyes fell back to the dagger next to Marie on the floor.

She picked the dagger up and turned to Marie “Where did you get that?” She brought the blade to her nose and carefully sniffed at it. Marie instantly answered her “Arla gave it to me”. The general let the dagger fall in shock she knew the smell and the poison it came from was absolutely deadly, she ran from the room in haste. Maybe the handmaid would have the antidote. Carrying a blade with such a deadly poison without the antidote was dangerous and even assassins tented to carry a small amount of the antidote in case they ever injured themselves accidentally with their blades. She was well aware that the chances an antidote would still be able to save Lexa were slim but she needed to try nevertheless.

Marie had slowly stepped up to Lexa who lay unnaturally still on the floor crying in earnest now recognizing what she had done. The commander’s eyes were still opened but she was scarcely breathing anymore and Marie knelt down next to her shaking her head in denial “I didn’t know … I am so sorry”

Lexa tried to smile at the girl turning her head to her. Marie laid her head onto the woman’s chest clutching at her shoulders tears streaming down her face. Suddenly the memory of how she had healed the flowers in the woods with Anya flashed up in Marie’s mind and the girl tried to remember how she had done that. For a second nothing happened but then the same strange feeling settled inside of her again and she closed her eyes in concentration her fingers gently touching the small cut on Lexa’s arm. Lexa’s eyes widened and also the poison in her body made it impossible to move she wanted nothing more than to move away from the girl’s fingers which seemed to fill her veins with a scalding liquid instead of blood.

Anya returned the exact moment that Marie had touched the cut on Lexa’s arm. The general had been unsuccessful in locating the handmaid. The girl had obviously left the tower after she had called the commander from the meeting but Anya had ordered warriors to follow her and bring her back. Someone would need to die for the assassination of the commander and she hoped she would be able to somehow spare Marie’s life. The general had not alerted anyone else just yet although she knew that it was her duty to alarm Titus to assemble the conclave. She felt her heart sink at this thought as she had hoped to never have to witness the conclave after Lexa’s death, had hoped that her second would outlive her.

When Anya crouched down next to Marie wanting to remove the girl from the room the child’s hands suddenly started to glow slightly and Anya sucked in a surprised breath seeing Lexa’s eyes widening although she had falsely been sure the commander would have already succumbed to the strong poison she hoped that Marie would miraculously be able to repeat what she had done for the flowers.

After what felt like an eternity to Anya but were in reality only a few seconds Lexa suddenly sucked in a harsh breath her eyes blinking. Marie blinked a few times coming back out of her trance like state and looked between Anya and Lexa in a mixture of disbelief and apparent relief. The girl let go of Lexa’s arm abruptly as if she had burnt herself and scooted an inch away from them as Lexa slowly sat up.  

“What has just happened?” Lexa asked after a moment looking down at her arm and letting her fingertips gently run over the limp. The arm was unblemished and the traces of the small amount of blood were gone. “She has healed you” Anya answered her voice resonating immense relief.

Lexa focused her green eyes on Marie who met her gaze for a second and then let it drop turning her head away and Lexa could see new tears starting to run down the girl’s cheeks. It was obvious she was overwhelmed and her tears were honest enough to know that the girl’s words of not having been aware of the poison were also no lie.

“Does anyone know what has transpired here beside you?” Lexa addressed Anya carefully standing from the floor waiting for any signs of dizziness but feeling none. Anya shook her head “Only I followed you here, but I sent out warriors to bring Arla back” now she was immensely glad she had not thought to alert Titus already.

“Arla?” Lexa asked confused not being familiar with the name at the moment. “She was assigned as a handmaiden to Marie and me and has obviously given her the dagger” Anya answered pointing at the small dagger lying on a table.

Lexa looked at Marie the girl looked the very picture of misery. She crouched down in front of the girl to meet her eyes and when the girl did not turn her head to look at her she gently raised the girl’s chin ignoring the slight flinch at her touch to lock their eyes together. “The handmaid gave you the dagger?” Lexa questioned the girl in a clear voice laced with authority.

Marie nodded immediately her eyes glancing at Lexa’s exposed forearm through the sliced shirt sleeve “She said I was owed some blood by you and that a small cut would be enough to make it better…” The girl’s voice trailed off. “Make what better?” Lexa asked now still looking into the girl’s grey eyes intently. “That you left me …” the girl answered her eyes huge “… and that you stopped caring for me. Or lied … Or I didn’t understand really …”

Anya cursed lightly under her breath after she heard their charges answer. She should have never left the girl with the handmaid at all and trusted her instincts that had told her right from the start that something was off with the handmaid all along. It was obvious the words were not Marie’s own but into her mouth by another. She had known that the girl was hurt by what had happened but Arla had somehow deepened and twisted that hurt into something ugly she needed.

“I did not stop caring for you, Marie” Lexa said with a sigh laden with regret “I was at your bedside each night” the commander added as an afterthought.

“You were?” the girl checked awed her eyes widening in surprise when Lexa immediately nodded.

Marie started to cry again “Will I be executed now?” her voice sounded strangely hollow. Lexa shook her head although she felt a headache forming. As long as they managed to keep it quite that Marie had really managed to nearly kill her there was no reason to execute her. It was obvious that the girl had just been manipulated and would not have helped if she had known what she might cause.

“Why were you not surprised that she healed me?” Lexa asked Anya after a moment her mind whirling with questions and actions they needed to take now. “Because I had already seen her do something similar” Anya simply answered and mutely wondered why she had never told Lexa about what had happened right before the battle. But it had never come up in any conversation and since they arrived in Polis she had barely seen Lexa alone for more than a few moments and she had seen the commander’s form bending and her shoulders drooping under the pressure of keeping the coalition together and had not wanted to add even the smallest burden onto that.

Before Lexa could implore further a guard knocked on the door saying that the warriors had already found Arla trying to slip out of the city.

“Bring her into the dungeons” Lexa ordered immediately her green eyes flashing dangerously “I will be there shortly”.

“What happens to me now?” Marie asked and Lexa spotted the pain standing for so long had caused the girl.

“You will wait here with Anya” Lexa said and nodded to her former mentor. Anya shortly spoke with Lexa in hushed tones too low for Marie to hear “What will you do about her?” the woman wanted to know. “Nothing” Lexa said looking over to Marie shortly her eyes showing a mixture of compassion and regret “I cannot fault her for being hurt. A young wounded soul is easily manipulated and she reversed the damage somehow in the end.” Anya nodded feeling relieved and watched Lexa’s persona change. Gone was the soft young woman who had too much compassion in her still, replaced by the mask of the hardened commander who strode from the room in long purposeful strides. The general gently guided Marie to the commander’s bed “Lie down” she directed and watched as the girl slip under the furs still crying slightly. It only took her a few moments to fall into an exhauster sleep as the events of the last hours had drained her completely. Anya sat down on the side of the bed and watched Marie sleep. Even in slumber her young face was scrunched up with troubles and Anya gently took one of the girl’s hands and made soothing motions over the girl’s knuckles and the frown disappeared from her face settling more deeply into sleep.

On her way to the dungeons Lexa made a short stop in her throne room where the ambassadors and Titus were still waiting for her return. She dismissed them all, cancelling the meeting for the day to be reconvened tomorrow at the same time. She could see confusion filter over the faces of those gathered on the room and some even looked worried, if for her or worried that she was still alive she did not know at the moment. Obediently the ambassadors together with their guards left the throne room without question; something in her face must have already told them that now was not the time to test her patience. The commander halted Titus retreat as he was the last to leave the room. The bald man was obviously confused but he stayed silent waiting for her to tell him what had caused the interruption. Their interactions had been strained in the last days, Lexa becoming increasingly impatient every time he dared to disagree with her. Lexa’s mood had worsened with every day the ambassadors kept on nagging her to attack Skykru and Titus had sided with them, in private only of course.

“Gather the novitiates in one of the save quarters and have them under heavy guard until you get other orders” Lexa addressed her former teacher who looked at her expectedly.

Titus eyebrows shot up in surprise. As the flamekeeper he knew exactly what must have happened for the commander to demand the conclave to be protected “Are you hurt, Lexa?” the man asked his commander worry shining in his dark eyes falling back into the habit of calling her by her name instead of title as if she was a small nightblood again under his tutelage.

Lexa shook her head in the negative “No, but until we know if only I was the target protect the novitiates.” The flamekeeper nodded with relieve flashing up in his dark eyes and swept from the room his dark garments sliding over the stone floor.

The commander quickly strode through the halls towards the elevator Gustus and Ryder joining her silently on her way. Their heavy footsteps resonating off of the walls were the only sounds in the empty halls only occupied by the occasional guard standing motionless at his post. This was not by far the first assassination attempt that had been conducted against her after she had taken up command but that someone had succeeded in engaging Marie alarmed Lexa deeply. And again she felt guilt course through her veins, as she was well aware that the sole reason the girl had even been open to this kind of manipulation this easily was solely resting on her own shoulders.

The ride with the elevator into the dungeons of the tower passed in a strained silence. Gustus could spot the tenseness in Lexa’s body and jaw, the commander’s slender finger toying with a dagger in obvious agitation. A nervous habit she had had since Anya had gifted her with her very first dagger. The general had tried to quell her nervous habit at first interpreting it as a sign of weakness but after others had interpreted as a nonchalant sign of strength Anya had bugged of. 

The commander was shown to one of the holding cells of the dungeons wordlessly a silent anger radiating from her features. She could see the form of a young woman huddled on the floor in the far corner of the small cell. Lexa scrutinized the young woman for a moment but she was not personally familiar with this handmaid. Gustus had supplied that she had taken up to work at the tower during her absence from Polis. Irritated Lexa wondered why an unexperienced handmaid with only a few weeks of history in the tower had been assigned to work for Anya at all; she had always been clear to post only those she trusted in the vicinity of her general and other important figures. This opened the possibilities or rather she was already sure that the girl had not been the sole head of this assassination attempt as she lacked the influence.

The commander roughly shoved the cells door open making the bars connect with the wall loudly startling the girl huddled on the floor. The handmaiden’s eyes snapped up at her and widened almost comically when she recognized who had come into her cell. Horror etched onto the young woman’s features and her body tensed when she came to the obvious conclusion that Marie had obviously failed to poison the commander.

“Who are you and why do you wish for my death?” Lexa immediately questioned the girl at her feet glaring down at her fury dancing in her blazing eyes. She wanted to give the girl a chance to tell her the truth without force before imploring any torture; the girl seemed to be frightened enough already to loosen her tongue enough.

The girl swallowed audibly a few times making herself smaller before she answered in a wavering small voice “I am Arla and I just wanted to save my brother…”

Lexa’s brows furrowed as she asked “Who has blackmailed you?”

The girl shook her head a few times begging silently for leniency clearly more afraid of whoever had made her willing to commit in this plot. Lexa nodded to Gustus who quickly stepped up to the girl hitting her roughly a few times and hurling her upright again into a sitting position. A bruise was now forming around the girl’s left eye and blood flowed freely from a split lip. Lexa arched her brow at the girl in silence the question still needed an answer.

But the handmaid remained stoically silent just shaking her head with a few tears running down her cheeks. Lexa watched on impassively as Gustus continued hitting the girl again until she could barely keep her head up anymore. “Who has worked with you of the tower’s staff?” Lexa changed her question now hoping to have more willing to give an answer to this.

The girl’s eyes were nearly swollen shut when she looked up at the commander with obvious great effort names finally spilled out of the girl’s mouth. Lexa ground her teeth together angrily. She knew the three names the girl had given well.


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello together =)  
> So I am back from my short easter break with my family and to make up for the longer wait this chapter is unusually long for me. Hope you like it =)
> 
> Previously in chapter 61  
> Marie heals Lexa before she dies and Anya stays with her while Lexa interrogates Arla.

Chapter 62

One was of a general who had taken up the duty to organize the guard around the tower, the second was of a guard usually posted on her own floor and the third was the name of a woman responsible with assigning and organizing the handmaidens of the tower.

The girl willingly told her why Marie had been chosen as the target to implement the assassination attempt. Lexa had already guessed that it was for the simple reason that the girl had the possibilities to get close enough to the commander to cause an injury which was confirmed by Arla. The young handmaiden also told her what she had told Marie and how she had simply twisted and enhanced the hurt that had already been caused by the commander’s actions at the Mountain. But as soon as her questions had circled back on the real head behind this assassination attempt the girl closed off again no matter what Gustus did.

“You will be executed with them tomorrow when the sun sets” Lexa said to the girl and swept from the room. It was obvious the girl would not give up whoever had blackmailed her and Lexa now had three more people to interrogate. Both the head of her guard and the head of the tower’s staff had some influence in Polis but Lexa knew that they had both served at least the commander who had held her position before her so she doubted they would have personal motivations against her to want for her death.

Gustus followed her out of the cell locking it after his exit whipping his bloodied fingers on a piece of cloth. Lexa addressed the man locking her eyes with him “Find all connections to Arla and those she named that could have had a hand in this”. The burly man nodded and Lexa returned into the elevator shadowed by Ryder.

She shortly checked in with her novitiates. The nine children all seemed worried, as they were only herded into one of the easily protectable rooms of the tower whenever they might be in danger. They smiled at her when they saw her entering the room. Titus stepped up to her and demanded to know what was going on.

Lexa sighed lowly quickly filling the bald man into the events of the night carefully leaving out the fact that Marie had indeed wounded her with a poisoned blade and somehow healed her before her death stressing the fact that obviously quite a few people were involved in this.

“All of the tower’s staff need to be evaluated for their loyalty again” Lexa concluded “Alira will be promoted to organize the tower’s staff, she is the only handmaiden I trust without a shadow of doubt”. Titus nodded he shared the opinion the commander had regarding Alira as being trustworthy and it was worrisome that a plot against the commander had been spun without any detection by him.

“You can all return to your quarters now” Lexa addressed her nightbloods watching them file out of the room one by one nodding to her before they left. Her heart felt slightly lighter knowing that her novitiates were protected and all unharmed. She wondered which clan was the mastermind behind this plot, she expected to find the culprit within the ranks of the Ice Nation but there was always a chance for someone else, someone they had not thought of.

She returned to her own quarters noticing that some guards had already been removed from their posts. Those who were missing were mostly originated from different clans and mostly only warriors from Trikru filled the halls at the moment.

Ryder took up post in front of Lexa’s quarters as the commander strode into the room softly closing the doors behind her. Lexa could make out Marie’s small form under some furs inside of her bed with Anya sitting on a stool next to the bed. The general looked up at her and crossed the distance between them with a few silent steps.

She could easily identify worry in Anya’s brown eyes and Lexa repeated the names Arla had given her and how the young woman had stoically not given up the mastermind behind the whole plot. Anya’s brows furrowed learning from who had been identifies to have a connection already. Given that two of the three names belonged to people with much influences for all they now knew anyone in the tower and even some of the army could be compromised already.

“I want you to stay in Polis permanently again” Lexa said searching her older mentor’s face intently. Anya nodded even as Lexa’s personal advisor she had expected to reside within the capitol from now on, it would make training Marie, once the girl had recovered completely, easier as well. “Take up the position of head of the army” the commander offered the other woman hoping that she would agree. Anya blinked a few times not having expected that at all but she nodded nevertheless, she would do all in her power to secure Lexa’s place as commander.

Marie started to stir lightly buried under the furs which felt like hands restraining her within her nightmares. Anya strode over to Marie taking some of the furs of off the girl’s slight frame and gently letting her fingers glide over the girl’s hair soothing the girl back into a deeper slumber.

“And Arla has told you how she manipulated Marie?” Anya said sitting down on the edge of the bed while Lexa began to pace through the room her footfalls muted by the pelts laid out on the floor around the huge bed. The commander nodded “She said that she had weaved a lie around herself convincing Marie that she had once held my trust and been discarded by me in a similar fashion to what I have done to Marie at the Mountain”. Anya cocked her brow at Lexa “Have you known the girl at all?” The commander shook her head and sighed “No, I had never even met her. But I wonder how the girl could have known the details of what had transpired in front of the Mountain.” Anya nodded thinking for a second “Either someone within the group of warriors who have accompanied you and been with you when the deal was proposed to you has spoken with her or she may have heard enough of the conversations I had had with Marie to piece the story together herself”.

“Maybe we will know more in the morning” Lexa commented her mind reeling around quickly. The warriors who had been with her on the ridge to take out the soldiers of the Mountain had all been selected by herself, but even the most trustworthy warrior could have been bribed or blackmailed somehow or even giving up the story under the influence of too much alcohol in one of the taverns in Polis. Marie had slept for the first days making it impossible for Arla to start influencing her which would have given her enough time to gather information elsewhere.

Her thoughts drifted back to the magical healing Marie had somehow been able to conduct. Lexa had already felt her limbs becoming cold as her heart pumped her blood slower with every second. When the girl’s fingers had touched her wound it felt as if she had been burnt and liquid fire had cursed through her veins until Marie had broken the contact again.

“Titus might know more of the talent Marie seems to possess” Lexa mused looking down at the girl whose features were even in sleep showing her trouble etched into a permanent pained frown.

Anya grunted not really agreeable in telling the bald flamekeeper “I don’t know if it is wise to bring him into the loop. I do not trust him.”

Lexa slightly rolled her eyes. Her former mentor and her teacher had never seen eye to eye in anything before. Anya had always disapproved with the way the flamekeeper taught the novitiates often resorting to physical punishments for disobedience. The man had often enough been harder on her than he had been with the others spotting something special in the scrawny girl Lexa had once been. And Lexa knew she had not been an easy student contradicting her teacher in many of his teachings being too stubborn to simply accept his words even faced with physical punishments. Anya may have never been gentle with her but the woman had also never simply hit her for the sake of hitting her. The woman had had always been inventive with other ways of punishing her for disobediences mostly humiliating her in some way and teaching her on why the rules she had broken were important which all in all had always been way more effective then Titus’ approach.

But something told her to trust Anya on this one and not tell Titus at least not at the moment so she nodded. Maybe it would be wiser to see what Marie was able to do exactly at first anyway.

“Do you know what limitations her gift has?” Lexa asked Anya. The older woman shook her head “No, I have just seen her healing a patch of flowers that had been trampled down carelessly by someone”.

“Flowers?” the commander inquired with a raised brow. That matched way better with the gentle child he had come to know than the fury she had been face with earlier.

Anya chuckled lowly at the memory “And the flowers had seemed to bend in her direction once they had stood unscathed again”. Lexa looked at her former mentor in surprise, she had never heard of something like that before.

Anya shrugged her shoulders mutely not knowing how the flowers had done that or if had just been a trick of her vision and the wind “Do you feel any effects of poison still?”

Lexa immediately shook her head “No, I feel absolutely fine. Rested and energized even. Has Marie tried to heal her own wounds?”

Anya blinked a few times not even having thought about the possibility that Marie might be able to do exactly that “Not that I am aware of at least. And we did not have the opportunity to test her abilities either.”

“We will, once she wakes” Lexa said. A gift like that held an immense power after all.

“Do you still trust her?” Anya asked her voice sounding uncharacteristically unsure.

Lexa nodded without hesitation “She has a kind soul, which has simply been misguided in difficult times. If she still wants revenge against myself that will be a problem, but I highly doubt that she will. I doubt revenge was anything she really sought after at all.”

Anya nodded feeling a burden lift she had not felt at all before as she let her fingers glide through the blonde locks of hair again gently. The girl started to stir under her gentle touch and blinked her eyes open after a few moments.

Marie looked confused of the unfamiliar surroundings at first until she spotted the commander and the events of the last few hours came back to her grey eyes widening in horror. Her breathing becoming erratic. Lexa shooed Anya from the side of the bed wanting to calm the girl herself the whole situation had gotten out of control because she had not taken the time to speak with girl before after all.

But Lexa getting nearer at first actually had the reverse effect and Marie seemed to have trouble breathing at all now. Lexa forcefully took one of the girl’s hands and laid it against her own chest letting the girl feel her heart beat under her palm “Breath with me, Marie. In … and out … in … and out” she repeated that for a few moments until the girl had obviously calmed considerably “That’s it. Just continue to breath”.

After Marie had finally calmed down silence settled over them, the girl obviously not daring to say anything at all. But Lexa interpreted that the girl had not tried to pull away her hand still laying on Lexa’s chest as a good sign. But Lexa waited the girl out being way more patient.

“Won’t I be executed?” the girl asked in a small voice wondering why she was still in a comfortable bed and not incarcerated in a cell in some dungeon.

Lexa shook her head sighing mutely and answered simply “No, you will not.”

“I almost killed you” Marie whispered her eyes glistening with unshed tears widened in horror at the memory resurfacing of what had nearly happened only a few hours ago. Marie felt slightly angry at Arla for she had not told her that the dagger was poisoned. She mutely wondered if she would still have tried to harm Lexa if she had indeed been aware of that, but she mentally shook her head vigorously. The commander may have left her but she did not feel the urge to kill the other woman for it.

The commander gave the girl’s hand a gentle squeeze “But you did not, or rather you chose to heal me before I could actually die. Do you wish for me to bleed for you?” Anya stood slightly behind Lexa watching mutely her brow furrowed unsure where the commander was going with the conversation. The woman caught the confusion reflecting over their charge’s face at the question but no anger or fury was evident.

Marie immediately shook her head now trying to pull her small hand out of Lexa’s grasp. Lexa let go of the girl’s hand and took one of the daggers strapped to her own thigh and cut her own hand in her open palm black blood welling up immediately as she had already cut deeper now then the girl had wounded her previously.

“Does seeing me bleed make you feel better?” Lexa challenged the girl her voice sounding aggravated “If it does, I am willing to offer you more of my blood.” With her words Lexa moved her bleeding palm in front of Marie’s face so that the girl did not have any other chance then to look at the wound. But Marie only continued to shake her head frantically. Lexa had watched the girl’s eyes intently and could not detect any dishonesty in them so she pushed the dagger back into its sheath and lowered her hand again.

“You are bleeding” Marie stated the obvious once Lexa had closed her hand to a fist and the black blood had immediately started to seep through her fingers.

“Then heal the cut” Lexa invited the girl and offered her injured hand palm up to the child. Lexa knew this was a long shot, it was entirely possible Marie would not be able to use this mystery power on command. Marie blinked in confusion at the commander unsure if she even could. “Just try it” the woman encouraged their charge in a soft tone wanting to know where the child’s ability was restricted to.

Cautiously Marie took Lexa’s hand in hers the small fingertips barely touching her skin as if afraid her touch would cause Lexa pain. Anya watched on curiously over Lexa’s shoulders at what would happen now.

For a few seconds nothing happened and Lexa had already wanted to withdraw her hand and bandage the shallow cut when Marie had closed her eyes and the small fingers tightened around Lexa’s hand. Marie concentrated on wanting to ease Lexa’s pain and to make right again what looked wrong at the moment. The girl’s face looked completely relaxed and her breathing was even and deep when her fingertips suddenly seemed to emit a soft golden shine and Lexa again felt the cut she had placed knit itself back together is if sewed together by liquid fire.

The very moment Marie opened her eyes again her fingers lost their golden shine as well and the girl looked down at Lexa’s once again unscathed palm in open wonder. Anya and Lexa both were impressed as well.

“This is truly amazing” Lexa said flexing her hand slightly not even a small scar showed it was as if there had never even been an injury at all. She turned a bit to face Anya “The healing hurts slightly, as if fire heals the wound. But they are restored completely obviously” she turned back to Marie “Have you tried to heal your own injury?”

The girl blinked owlishly for a moment before she shook her head with an expression that clearly showed that she had not even thought about it until now. Marie carefully slipped her finger under the bandage still wound around her hip and tried to find the same concentration and feeling she had just used using the cut for Lexa but nothing happened. A disappointed frown settled over the girl’s features after she gave up a few moments later.

“Maybe you are restricted to solely healing others” Anya mused interpreting the girl’s disappointed expression at a failure to heal herself. Marie nodded with a slight pout while Lexa said “Regardless this is an extremely rare and powerful gift.”

Anya nodded while she could not shake away the feeling that they should try to keep this talent hidden when she voiced her thought Lexa nodded. Marie cocked her head in confusion “But could I not use that to help others?”

The commander nodded as she had felt how close she had been to death a few hours ago. If the girl were to fall into the hands of for example the ice queen, the girl could easily be forced to heal many warriors unbalancing any wars in favour of those who held control over Marie. Lexa tried to explain exactly that to the girl and Anya backed her up on that possibility. People might try to capture her just for her power or even kill her in hopes of gaining such a talent themselves. Although she thought that scenario was highly unlikely but she could already picture Titus trying to get her to kill Marie just for the slight chance.

“And we do not know yet if there might be any side effects or repercussions later for you” Lexa finished her explanation and the girl nodded still frowning slightly. The commander had wanted to talk with the girl about the events at the Mountain but thought that now was not the time to do so. Maybe it would be good for the girl to first see some of Polis to understand why she really had had no other choice.

Marie started to wiggle under the furs obviously uncomfortable somehow “What is it?” Lexa asked the child and Marie said almost desperately “I need to pee really urgently…” The girl’s face flamed red with obvious humiliation but Lexa ignored that reaction offering her hands to hoist the girl up “Let me show you to the bathroom then.”

After having guided Marie to the bathroom making sure the girl did not stumble on the way Lexa returned to Anya having given Marie the orders to call out once she was finished. “The healer had said that her wounds seem finally to heal fine and she thinks that the girl should not have any lasting damage” Anya reported to Lexa her relieve at being able to rely something positive for once palpable. The girl’s steps were still unsure and her hip still hurt slightly but it should not be long for the wounds to close completely now. “But all the training progress Marie had made are void now. She is even weaker physically now” Anya surmised annoyance obvious.

Lexa just sighed lowly “As long as she does not have any lasting damage that is no problem. With regular training she will improve quickly enough. But she first needs to regain some strength. Once she is better on her feet you should show Polis to her” Anya arched a brow at Lexa inquiring without words why Lexa would not do so herself.

The younger woman huffed knowing immediately what Anya’s mimic implied “I will show her some things myself when I have the time.”

Marie called out from the bathroom obediently in that moment and Lexa went to retrieve the girl letting her walk on her own only walking beside her cautiously to be able to catch her if needed.  She had guided the girl back to her bed and Marie asked confused “Should I not return to our room?” glancing at Anya shortly.

“Not right now” Lexa answered “More people than just Arla were involved in the plot against me and until I know exactly who I can trust in the tower you will both remain here”. Anya looked at the commander with a doubtful expression but nodded when she caught Lexa’s clearly pleading gaze to just indulge her in this.

“I will sleep on the couch then” Anya offered and turned to the huge piece of furniture. Lexa offered to instead sleep there but the older woman just stared her down for a moment and Lexa threw up her hands in the air in mock surrender making Marie giggle slightly. A soft smile tugged at Anya’s lips not having seen the girl express any kind of joy since before the Mountain really. Maybe this escalation had been exactly what Marie needed to finally heal completely from the whole ordeal.

Lexa knew she would be too optimistic to think that Marie would now simply forget her decision at the Mountain but the anger and hate had faded completely from the girl’s grey eyes. When Marie made to stand up to search another place to sleep Lexa gently pushed the girl down more firmly into the bed “The bed here offers more than enough space for two”.

The girl nodded obviously not completely comfortable with the situation if Lexa interpreted her quick gaze in Anya’s direction correctly. Trust would need to be rebuild from both of their sides which would just take time.

Marie tried hard to keep as much to the other side of the bed as possible. Lexa snorted under her breath if the girl were to turn just a slight bit she would fall right of the bed and tumble to the floor, at least the floor was layered with pelts of her hunts. The girl was as tense as a deer preparing to leap out of harm’s way if needed. Through the few candles still burning in the huge room Lexa could see through the corner of her eye’s that the girl had her eyes vehemently open and was shooting glances at her every few seconds.

The commander could hear Anya’s soft regular breaths evening out signalling that the other woman had already fallen asleep. “Come closer” Lexa softly said opening her arm to give the girl the possibility to scoot closer and added “only if you want of course”. Marie startled in surprise at the kind words looking at Lexa’s form in the almost darkness making it impossible for her untrained eyes to see the woman’s expression but she remained where she was.

Lexa sighed silently pulling her arm back over her midriff and rolled slightly on her side turning her back to the girl. She closed her eyes and deepened her breath trying to fall asleep quickly. On the verge of falling asleep for good Lexa startled a bit when Marie suddenly addressed her in almost a whisper “I am sorry … truly … I didn’t want to hurt you like this …”

“It is ok” Lexa answered turning around to the girl’s body “I understand that you are angry with me”

“You left me…” Marie breathed with a voice laced with bewilderment.

Lexa took a deep breath, she had not planned to have this conversation in near darkness and in the middle of the night when they both were tired. But she sensed that the girl would not find rest with this situation hanging between them. She let the proceedings of the Mountain flash before her eyes shortly, remembering the way the Marie’s grey eyes had looked at her and how the girl had screamed for Anya to help her, how her mentor had stood there like a statue made of even marble. “I did” Lexa answered her voice heavy “I wish I could have chosen differently but I could not.”

“Why not?” Marie asked wanting desperately to understand the woman.

“I am the commander, Marie” Lexa explained her voice heavy remembering all the times she had push her own desires and well-being to the side to become the commander she was now “I cannot chose what I want, but I always have to choose what the right thing is for my people. The Mountain had over two hundred of my people captured and they threatened to destroy the capitol with one of their missiles. As the commander I could simply not chose you over thousands of others…”

“I don’t understand that …” Marie answered after a moment her voice laced with frustrated confusion “Aren’t you like the most powerful leader here?”

“Yes” Lexa reassured her, there was no question to her power. Theoretically she could have of course declined the offered deal and continued their fight against the Mountain. Together with Skykru they could have even won against the Mountain but there would have been heavy losses on her side and there had been no guarantee that they would have even won. All her prisoners would have been executed, just like that, and if the Mountain’s threat was valid, then Polis would have been burnt to the ground. “But being powerful does not mean that you can use all that power just to your liking, Marie. A good leader has to use that power to ensure the safety of their subjects. The leader is the one who has to bear the brunt of the decisions. When Costia’s head was delivered to me, I wanted nothing more than to raise my whole army and lay waste to the Ice Nation…” Lexa’s words trailed off and she clenched her hands angrily reliving the feeling of utter loss when she had looked into Costia’s lifeless eyes.

Lexa could feel the girl’s eyes fixed onto her face in the near darkness waiting for her to continue. She had not managed to form the coalition back then but she had given in to the thirst of revenge. “I did use my power then. I raised an army and marched towards the Ice Nation and I burnt down every village passed the border to the Ice Nation. But we were ill prepared for the winter. Many of my men died long before we could reach the capitol of the Ice Nation. But I kept pushing them on, fuelled by blind rage. When we finally reached the capitol the Ice queen was awaiting me. I had already raised my sword to strike her down, when she bowed to me, pledging herself to the coalition…”

Marie sucked in a harsh breath feeling the pain in Lexa’s voice. She knew that the Ice Nation was part of the coalition, so that meant that Lexa had accepted the Ice queen even after what she had done. Lexa was battling tears of her own. She still felt the surging need to drive her sword through the woman that had ordered Costia’s abduction and death but she had sacrificed her own revenge for the good of her subjects. She had proven on the Mountain that she would always sacrifice herself if needed.

“And who looks after what you want?” Marie wondered out loud but she truly understood now why Lexa had chosen like she had.

Lexa blinked astonished at the smaller body next to her. One of the first teachings of Titus had been that what a nightblood wants would never matter and that they had to sacrifice themselves for their people solely being a vessel for the commander’s spirit and nothing more. She startled slightly when Marie suddenly crawled over to her closing the distance between them and snuggled up to her like she had done when they had shared a bed in her tent. Mutely she pulled the smaller body closer into herself hugging Marie closer.


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 62  
> Lexa tests Marie’s healing abilities and finally speaks with the girl about the Mountain and what it means to be a good leader.

Chapter 63

They were aroused early by a series of loud knocks on the door to the commander’s quarters. The door flew open only a few moments later and Titus strode in. Anya had sprung from the couch sword drawn and Lexa had also quickly stood from the bed pulling a long dagger out of hiding place.

Marie sat upright in the bed her eyes wide looking for a possible threat. Anya growled under her breath after she had recognized Titus. The man had already seen Marie in the commander’s bed which she had obviously shared with Lexa his eyes narrowing angrily.

“What brings you here this early?” Lexa addressed her former teacher calmly putting the dagger back into its place and starting to dress for the day also the sun had not even started to rise yet. The commander was pretty sure Titus had come with information on who was involved in the assassination attempt from the previous day but she never liked how the man always just barged into her chambers no matter what time it was.

“Manja confessed to have been blackmailed by Soy” Titus answered anger evident in his voice “Guards are bringing him into the dungeons as we speak.”

Lexa clenched her teeth seething mutely as she hastily went around the room fixing her commander attire to her frame. Soy was the ambassador of the Rock Line clan. She had already guessed that one or more clans had to have been involved in the plot. The question now was if the chief of the clan was also involved or if the ambassador had worked alone.

“What happens now?” Marie lowly asked Anya who had stepped towards the bed to help Marie back on her feet. The girl still had the most problems with the first few steps her muscles having grown even weaker over the long days of mostly sleeping under the effects of the tea.

“Anya, I leave it in your hands to evaluate all the guards posted around the tower from the scratch again” Lexa interrupted the general before she could answer “Marie can come with me”

Anya looked at her former second with a raised brow as she was not really agreeing to have the girl included into this. Marie had never witnessed torture of any kind and the general highly doubted that Soy would just spill his guts like that without some prompting.

“Showing him that their plot failed and showing myself together with Marie underlining that she still holds my trust, may surprise him enough to make him slip” Lexa quickly explained interpreting her mentor’s face correctly.

Titus had watched the interaction with narrowed eyes, he had also interrogated the handmaid again hearing from her what Marie’s role should have been in the whole plot “Arla told me he had given a poisoned dagger to her” he said glancing sideways at Marie.

Lexa nodded while Anya also put back on the light armour she wore when in the city signalling her station as Heda’s general. The commander went over to a table and cautiously picked up the dagger in question offering the blade to her old teacher. The man took the blade and also sniffed at the metal his face scrunching up identifying the poison immediately “She has not tried to harm you then?” he directly addressed Lexa.

The commander could see Marie biting her lips nervously and before the girl could speak up she stared down Titus “Obviously. You know how deadly the poison is, even the antidote would probably not have saved me otherwise.” She could feel Titus eyes searching her face for a lie but she had long mastered the art to conceal all that she felt even from him and the logic that she would be dead if Lexa had indeed been harmed was proof. The commander had no intention of telling the bald man about Marie’s healing powers just yet.

“When are the clan’s chiefs expected to arrive in Polis?” Lexa asked after a moment of tense silence. “Most have already arrived. Shallow valley and Broadleaf clan will arrive today. Rock Line clan and Ice Nation, as well as Trikru are the only ones that won’t arrive until the first day of the feast” Titus answered. Indra was still occupied with overseeing the restoration of TonDC and Rock Line clan and Ice Nation had a long way to travel and queen Nia liked to antagonize her at every possible turn.

Lexa thought in silence for a second before she instructed “Let the Rock Line delegation arrive without any interference. As soon as they step inside the tower, have all of them restrained to their assigned quarters and put under guard but be sure no others will notice anything is off. And have all clan leaders as well as the ambassadors watched. I want to know exactly who speaks with each other when they think no one is watching”. Titus nodded quickly while he already started to plan what would the necessary steps to take were now.

The commander sorted through a chest filled with some of her old clothes she had kept looking for things that might fit Marie. The girl’s dark trousers would do but not the light tunic the healer had dressed her in to make long times in bed more comfortable. She found a sleeveless shirt that was too small for herself, Lexa knew it would be slightly too long and lose on the girl but it would do. She handed the shirt to Marie who obediently stripped out of the tunic not even minding Titus in the room.

The man noticed the tattoo on the girl’s back immediately “You have her marked already?” his voice sounded baffled. Lexa nodded not giving more up Titus would have to accept Marie’s role now.

The top hung loosely on Marie’s small frame and Lexa slung a belt around the girl’s waist gathering the too long material up. She quickly turned the girl around and braided her long blond hair into a single braid easily revealing the signs marking Marie as the commander’s second easily and securing the braid with a thin strip of leather.

Lexa watched Titus clenching his teeth mutely for once wisely swallowing down his anger. She wasn’t in the mood to be criticized by him at the moment and the man seemed to sense as much.

They left the room and stepped into the elevator together. Marie looked wary of the contraption, she was familiar with elevator as they had some on the Ark but they were all powered by electricity and went smoother. “I thought there was no electricity” Marie said out loud eying the walls of the elevator suspiciously. “There isn’t” Lexa confirmed containing an amused chuckle at the girl’s obvious discomfort “Warriors are powering the elevator with their strength”. The elevator stopped suddenly with a sudden movement making Marie squeal slightly, the door glided open and Titus left the elevator inclining his head to Lexa mutely.  Marie scrunched her brow after the elevator started again “How do they know where you want to leave?” Anya explained to her that they had developed a sort of a code using little bells that would also ring on a panel where the warriors were stationed. The code would then tell the warrior where the elevator was at the moment and how many people had just stepped into it and where they wanted to leave or if a part wanted to leave on a different floor. Marie looked impressed by that information but her discomfort was still plain to see on her face.

Anya left them two floors later and Lexa addressed Marie in a firm tone “You won’t need to say anything interrogate Soy, Marie. But let me stress again, that it is very important that you will not mention what really happened yesterday to anyone. The poison which was on the dagger acts so quickly that not even the antidote would have been able to save me. So no one will know what you really did and it should remain that way.” Marie nodded guiltily biting at her lips as her mind conjured the picture again of Lexa crumbling to the floor and how shocked the woman had looked in that moment. Lexa took a deep breath “You will also see a side of me now, which you haven’t before. I do not take pleasure in inflicting pain on others but sometimes torture is necessary to make someone talk truthfully”. Marie nodded again and as she looked at Lexa’s face it was as if she could witness the woman disappearing behind an expressionless mask of the commander. The girl straightened her own shoulders trying to calm her suddenly racing heart and hoping to conceal at least some of her open expressions from her face.

The rest of the ride in the elevator passed in silence and as soon as the doors had glided open Lexa already stepped out of the contraption her long red sash sliding over the rough floor. The commander felt anger curse through her own veins, not necessarily against the assassination attempt itself, having survived quite a few of them already, but that the culprits had managed to involve the still so innocent girl next to her angered her the most. And her conscience could not let go of the fact that she herself had been the one to give them the opportunity to corrupt Marie in such a way to begin with.

The dungeons were busier than the day before. It seemed that quite a few people had already been identified to have their hands in the organization of the plot. Some looked almost surprised to see the commander stride through the hallway between the holding cells. While others had dropped all pretence now and glared at the commander passing by them. Marie only quickly let her eyes glide over all the people held in the different cells. Some already sprouted visible bruises or bleeding welts while others looked unharmed still. Marie wondered if they had talked freely without the force of violence to loosen their tongues or if they had just not been interrogated just yet.

Lexa guided her steps to one of the biggest cells where she knew Soy would be held for her. Gustus awaited her arrival at the cell’s door his dark eyes sparked with surprise at seeing Marie behind her. The girl’s grey eyes widened visibly when she took in the blood sprayed on Gustus’ face and hands. She wondered silently how many people exactly the burly man had already questioned through the night. “Has he said anything yet?” Lexa asked in a clipped tone and Gustus shook his head in the negative “He has just demanded to know why he was held at all”. Lexa’s lips thinned at the answer but she nodded and she pushed the cell’s door open with more force then needed making the cell’s door again connect loudly with the wall.

Marie carefully looked around Lexa after the woman had entered the cell. She could see the form of a man sitting on a plain wooden bench in the corner of the cell facing the entrance. The man visibly startled at the loud noise and looked up. He had light brown hair which was braided on the top in thin braids passing down his shoulders while the sides of his head had been carefully shaved revealing blueish tattoos on the skin. His skin was tanned strongly making it darker then Lexa’s tone and his eyes were also a bright grey.

“You can stop waiting for the signal to announce my demise” Lexa started staring down at the sitting man, from the corner of her eyes she could see Gustus giving Marie a slight push into the cell and closing the cell after he had entered. Soy’s eyes widened and he swallowed harshly when he noticed the girl easily identifying her as the commander’s second although no one except Arla had seen her in person yet, but the description the young handmaiden had given him matched perfectly. That the girl was standing with the commander and had not been thrown into a cell clearly indicated that their whole plan had failed. He had waited the whole night for the sound signalling that a conclave would be called soon. He had held onto the hope that the poison had simply worked slower than normal.

Lexa could almost see the wheels turning within the man’s head as understanding dawned on him.

“So let us begin with an easy question” the commander addressed the man with an almost bored tone fiddling with a dagger in between her slender fingers making the blade gleam with every spin as the metal reflected the light from the torches illuminating the cell “Who has worked with you?”

Marie watched as the man set his yaw defiantly clenching his teeth together clearly unwilling to give an answer to the commander’s question. The girl startled when Lexa suddenly stepped closer to the man hauling off and hitting the man square in his face with a balled fist. The force of the blow made Soy’s head snap back bouncing against the wall of the cell with a thudding noise. Blood immediately started to run from the man’s nose. Marie’s mind flashed back to the day she had first met Lexa and was grateful the commander had decided not to put her under torture.

Soy remained resiliently silent and Marie shuddered with every blow against the man’s face. Turning Soy’s face into a bleeding mess slowly. When the man disgorged a few teeth Marie had to swallow heavily against sour bile rising in her throat. After every blow Lexa would step back giving the man a few moments to decide if he wanted to give an answer now or not. The commander would massage her fingers making the knuckles creak loudly in a way that sent shivers down Marie’s back.

Lexa shortly looked to Gustus nodding to the man. Marie had no idea what the nod meant but the burly man obviously did as he immediately stepped into the other corner of the cell retrieving a small wooden block that had strains of what Marie guessed to be dried blood on its surface. The commander looked impatient her breathing laboured slightly. Lexa was irritated the man still had not said even a single word turning the anger rushing through her veins into hot cursing fire. They already knew quite a few names of who was also involved but what interested Lexa most was if other clans were also involved.

Soy obviously also knew the purpose of the wooden block and when Gustus grabbed him forcefully placing the man’s right hand on the wooden block and holding it there Marie could see how the man started to struggle against the hold.

Lexa had a dagger in her hand again and asked again “Who has worked with you?” At the man’s continued silence Lexa brought the dagger down quickly and forcefully onto the wooden block. The man’s little finger fell into the straw that littered the floor of the cell and the pain seemed to take a few moments to register in Soy’s mind.

Marie’s eyes had widened and the girl looked between the severed finger and the now profusely bleeding hand with shock written all over her face. But she kept silent just stepping a slight step back towards the door. Lexa noticed the girl’s movements out of the corner of her eyes but she did not mind if the girl wanted to leave at the moment or not.

It did not take Lexa long to remove Soy’s other fingers from the hand and when the man still remained silent Lexa snarled at him finally starting to lose her patience and composure “Why?! Why do you want me to fall?”

Something sparked in the man’s grey eyes and Lexa immediately interpreted that the man may have a very personal reason to want her dead. “You let her die” the man’s voice sounded hoarse when he finally spoke. Marie cocked her head and she saw the same confusion mirrored on the commander’s face.

“Who?” Lexa asked taking a step back from the man. Gustus had let go of the man’s hand and was heating another dagger to seal the wounds shut otherwise the man would soon pass out from the blood loss.

“You don’t know?” Soy croaked in a bitter tone. Lexa’s eyes narrowed dangerously and as she made to step up again to the man he continued with a hint of surprise “You truly don’t know. I have received the letter telling me of her death in a “hunt accident” two summers ago.”

Lexa’s eyes widened as she realized the connection. Two years ago a young nightblood had been brought to Polis. A girl with light brown hair barely six summers old. No one knew who her parents were but as she was to be trained for the conclave it didn’t matter. The girl had barely been in Polis for a few weeks when she sneaked away to join a hunting party. The girl had gotten lost in the forest and had been faced with a bear that had been wounded but not killed by the hunting party. She had tried to end the beast on her own and had not survived. She had succumbed to her severe injuries a few hours after being brought back to the tower.

“Amber” Lexa said below her breath. Soy raised his head blood dripping from his face onto his shirt “She was my daughter”.

Gustus came back to the man with the heated dagger and forced the gleaming blade onto the bleeding wounds. Marie had to breathe through her nose against the stench of burning flesh filling the cell. Lexa closed her eyes for a moment but all the compassion had left her features when she opened them again repeating the question of who was also involved in the plot in a seething tone.

“No other clan” the man finally spat at the commander.

Lexa believed him for now turning on the spot and storming out of the cell. Her thoughts were in turmoil. She had not been with the hunting party when Amber had died and it truly had been an accident but the way Soy had spoken the words full of accusation made it obvious that the man did not believe that at all. It was only a slight relieve to her to know that the fall of the Mountain had nothing to do with this plot, but she knew that it was only a matter of time before some clans would rise against her again now that their common enemy was defeated.


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi =)  
> I really cannot believe that with this chapter my story will have over 150k words ... it has gotten so long ... hope you will stick around to see if I ever find an ending xD
> 
> Previously in chapter 63  
> Titus wakes them telling Lexa that the Rock Line clan ambassador was involved in the plot. Marie accompanies the commander to the interrogation. The man had a personal vendetta against the commander for letting his daughter, a nightblood, die under her training.

Chapter 64

Marie’s stomach churned when she followed Lexa through the corridor between the cells. She could see red blood dropping from the commander’s fingers but Lexa did not seem to notice or simply did not care.

Lexa would still have all the guard and the staff re-evaluated. Caution could not hurt and would make it harder for the next upraise against her. The commander did not look at any of the others that had been brought into the cell quickly striding back to the elevator. She impatiently waited for Marie to join her in the elevator. Lexa took a few deep breath to sort through her sorts and when she looked at the girl she could see pain evident on her face. The interrogation had taken a few hours and the commander noted that their second had managed to keep from vomiting although the girl looked slightly green in the face.

Gustus face showed the exhaustion the man was feeling. He had been on guard duty the morning before in front of Lexa’s quarters so he was on his feet for two days straight and interrogations tented to be taxing.

Marie was completely silent all the way up from the dungeons to the floor where Lexa’s quarters were. Lexa dismissed Gustus telling the man to rest before all clan representatives would be in Polis and all eyes and ears would dearly be needed again.

Alira had obviously already organised for food to be delivered to the commander’s quarters and the plates were still streaming indicating that they could not have been put there a long time ago. Lexa had guided Marie to the sofa and told her to sit and to start eating. The commander herself quickly excused herself to get cleaned up. She carefully scrubbed her fingers clean from all of Soy’s blood.

When she returned to the main room Marie sat perched on the edge of the sofa stiff and staring into nothing and the tray with food on the table remained untouched. Lexa sighed mutely unfastening her shoulder pauldron and draped the long red sash together with the pauldron over an empty chair in the corner of the room. Her fingers felt stiff and some of the knuckles were scraped dark bruises already forming under her skin. She massaged the fingers carefully making the knuckles crack again to set them right.

At the sound Marie visibly shuddered and stood up from the sofa suddenly swaying on her feet unsteadily as pain surged through her hip. Lexa moved quickly into her direction putting a hand on the girl’s arm to steady her. Without forewarning Marie doubled over and vomited all over the floor between them. Lexa’s lips thinned slightly in disgust when she saw that some of the vomit had sprayed onto her dark boots. Marie still looked green in the face and her frame was shaking so strongly Lexa could feel it through her fingers on her arm.

“It is ok, Marie” Lexa soothed the obviously shaken girl and led her to the bathroom. The shirt she had given Marie was obviously soaked in vomit as well. “Wait here” Lexa directed and pushed Marie to sit on a chair in the bathroom “If you have to vomit again” Lexa looked at the toilet. Marie nodded meekly visibly keeping her lips pressed together.

The commander left the bathroom with a few quick steps already hearing the sounds of the girl retching again. She quickly signalled for Ryder, who stood guard at her door with another Trikru warrior, to call for Alira. When Lexa returned to the bathroom Marie sat on the floor in front of the toilet only having dry heaves now. She knew that they had not had breakfast yet so the girl’s stomach could not have contained much.

Lexa knelt down next to Marie rubbing the girl’s back gently in a soothing motion. The girl turned her head into Lexa’s direction with the most pitiful expression the commander had ever seen and said in a small whiny voice “I will never make a warrior…” Lexa chuckled softly under her breath as she squeezed the girl’s shoulder reassuringly “The first torture is not an easy thing to witness. You have done better than you think”. Marie looked at her with doubt riddled eyes before she whipped her head back to the toilet retching again.

Lexa still remembered the first time she had watched Anya torture a spy from the Ice Nation they had found on a patrol. She had started to puke her guts out as soon as Anya had switched from using her fists to using a blade. Anya had teased her about her weak stomach for the next few weeks after she had held her hair back from her face while she vomited for hours.

She heard Alira’s voice calling for her from the main room and Lexa left Marie in the bathroom for now. The woman looked tired at the first glance but she smiled softly at Lexa “I heard there was an assassination attempt. I am glad it failed”. Lexa nodded “You have already been told that I want you to organize the household from now on?” Alira nodded in confirmation “I will of course still function as your personal handmaiden”.

“If that is not enough to manage at once?” Lexa inquired internally relived. She trusted the older woman beyond question not to try to temper anything in her quarters and she knew that Alira had taken a liking to Marie’s friendly nature. The handmaiden immediately assured that she would manage and that it was an honour for her to be put into this position.

Lexa wanted to give Alira further orders when retching noises from the bathroom interrupted her. “Is she sick?” the older woman immediately asked just now noticing the puddle of vomit on the floor in front of the sofa.

The commander shook her head “She has witnessed me interrogating Soy. Have a bath prepared for her, a tea to calm her stomach and she needs fresh clothes. And someone needs to clean that up”

Alira nodded immediately “Is the food still edible?” Lexa shortly looked at the tray of food but fortunately Marie had missed the table when she vomited so she nodded and Alira left to carry out all of the orders.

The door opened again and Anya stepped into the commander’s quarters her features showing her irritation clearly. “It went this badly?” Lexa commented picking a piece of bread from one of the plates and sipping some watered down wine.

The other woman snorted “That depends entirely on your definition” she plopped down onto one of the sofas taking a mug and starting to eat as well. Lexa quirked her brow at Anya in question who looked around the room clearly searching for Marie.

“In the bathroom” Lexa answered the unspoken question of her former mentor. The sounds of new retching confirming Marie’s presence and Anya placed the mug and the half eaten pastry back onto the table standing up to check on their charge. “She did not manage it any better than you did, then?” Anya inquired a slight tease glinting in her brown eyes. The commander ignored the playful jab “Oh, she did. She managed to hold it together until we came back here. But I would advise against cracking your knuckles in front of her for some time if you don’t want her to start vomiting”. “Duly noted” Anya retorted with a low snort and stepped into the bathroom where Marie was still sitting in front of the toilet on the floor.

She knelt down next to the girl and gently patted the girl’s back “You okay?” Lexa chuckled lowly at the question that even sounded idiotic in Anya’s own ears as Marie turned to Anya a scowl on her face that was softened by the otherwise pitiful expression and the greenish tint to her skin “Does it look like that?” the girl asked in a pouting tone. Anya could not help herself and shook her head laughing loudly “No…definitely not”. Marie glared slightly at the older woman but turned around rapidly to start retching again.

“Alira will bring you a tea to sooth your stomach” Lexa assured their charge motioning Anya back into the main room and commented “How very helpful of you”. Anya brought her laughter down to a chuckle “Don’t think you looked any better back then”.

Lexa resisted the sudden urge to stick out her tongue at the older woman and merely rolled her eyes. It was really a wonder Marie had found such a quick and deep connection to Anya, the woman sometimes really had a nature that lived on the humiliation of others.

After a short knock Alira entered the quarters again. The woman carried a mug that visibly steamed and had some folded clothes in the other hand. Other handmaidens entered the quarters all carrying various large buckets filled with hot water.

The older woman oversaw the younger handmaidens quickly filling the large metal bathtub and handed Marie the mug with the tea “Here, it will help settle your stomach”. Marie looked at the woman with a frown “I don’t think I can keep it down”. “Just try it” Alira ordered and pushed the mug in the direction of Marie’s mouth “I even added some honey to sweeten it just for you”. The girl smiled faintly in thanks at the woman and obediently drank a few sips of the tea waiting if her stomach would rebel immediately when nothing happened she drank some more of the warm tea.

“The bath is finished” a girl’s voice said and Marie assumed the girl could be the same age as her. Alira nodded to her and dismissed her with a wave of her hand. She offered her hand to Marie to haul her from the floor and Marie grimaced slightly when she put her weight back on her legs. She assisted Marie in stripping out of her clothes piling them on the floor to take them to be washed. She placed clean towels and the pile of fresh clothes onto the big sink. “Do you need help getting in?” Alira said finally still holding onto one of the girl’s arms as the child seemed to sway on her feet.

Marie looked at the bathtub and saw how high the rim was and nodded with obvious reluctance. “There is no shame in admitting to need help for something” Alira gently reproached the girl. Marie looked at her with big eyes but nodded mutely. In her mind it was contradicting to be told that strength was everything but that it was alright to ask for help. Alira let the matter go and carefully helped the girl into the tub making sure she would not slip.

Marie immediately let out a content sigh when her body was engulfed in the warm water. One of the handmaids had added some herbs to help with relaxing. “Do you want another tea?” Alira offered after Marie had downed the rest of the tea, Marie thought for a moment and politely declined as her stomach felt much better already.

Marie completely relaxed in the warm water never having experienced a warm bath before in her life. “Enjoying yourself?” Anya drawled leaning inside of the doorframe casually. Marie startled and looked around the room with widened eyes. Disoriented she rubbed her eyes and looked down at her pruned fingers with an odd expression. Marie had not noticed falling asleep at all and the water had cooled considerably and goose bumps were raised on her arms. She quickly tried to stand up in the tub immediately slipping on the wet surface and falling back into the water.

Lexa appeared behind Anya immediately checking the other woman had not decided to dump Marie under suddenly. When she had for some reason denied baths for the span of two weeks the older woman had simply bound her hands and feet and just thrown her into a bath still fully closed.

Anya was openly laughing at Marie’s shocked expression when the girl came back up sputtering water. Lexa quickly stepped up to her and hurled the girl out of the water like she weight nothing. Marie almost slipped again on the wet tiles but Lexa kept a steadying hand on the girl’s elbow and engulfed her in one of the big towels Alira had put on the sink. The girl’s skin felt cold to the touch. “Have someone bring her tea” Lexa said to Anya who nodded her eyes still twinkling in amusement.

The girl shivered slightly so Lexa helped her dry up quicker. “So I take it, you enjoyed your bath?” Lexa asked in a gentle tone towelling down the girl’s legs. Marie nodded enthusiastically “I never had one before”. “You didn’t?” Lexa inquired “How have you washed yourself on the Ark then?”

“A bath would have used up too much water. Even showers were strictly restricted to once a week. Otherwise we had some kind of damp cloth with chemicals in them to sanitize skin” Marie explained “We did not really get dirty anyway”.

Lexa nodded still intrigued to hear of the completely different ways of living. But it was no wonder that Marie had been wary of open water as Anya had told her if she had no prior experience with the element at all.

“How does your hip feel?” Lexa asked when she helped Marie step into a fresh pair of trousers. “It still hurts but it gets better every day” Marie answered. Her stomach rumbled audibly and Lexa gave the girl a soft smile “Come, we saved you some food”.

Marie’s steps were slow but she had stopped swaying Lexa still stayed close to their charge just in case. The girl shivered in the cool breeze coming from the opened door to the balcony and Lexa wrapped her into a folded blanket made of fur and went to close the door. The commander hoped that by warming the girl up and having her drink some tea they could avert the cold she feared Marie might have already caught in the cold water.

Anya and she had simply forgotten the time discussing what Anya thus far had discovered in the ranks of the guard. It was alarming to hear how many would be easily swayed by money and were not loyal to Lexa as the commander at all. She wanted all of them replaced as soon as possible by those they were absolutely sure would be loyal to her no matter what might be offered to them.

Some of those which had been rescued from the Mountain had obviously expressed their desire to serve as guards to Lexa for freeing them detached from their clans. Maybe it would be a good idea to raise at least a small force of warriors which would serve the commander alone and not the clans they were born into. She would have to put some thought into that.

The girl’s soft voice pulled Lexa out of her thoughts when she asked “Would I have been tortured like that?” The woman knew immediately that Marie wanted to know what would have happened if she had died the evening before. Lexa sighed lowly and sat down on the sofa next to Marie pulling the blanket tighter around the girl’s small frame “Yes, you would have” she simply said. No one would have cared for Marie’s reasons had she been the one to assassinate the commander. “Not even Anya would have been able to safe you then, although I don’t doubt she would have tried” Lexa added after a moment. Marie swallowed harshly turning paler catching what Lexa had not voiced out loud. Anya felt deeply for the girl and would undoubtedly have tried to somehow safe Marie but that would have just put herself at risk as well probably ending in her own execution alongside Marie. Lexa looked at the girl with a gentle expression and swept a wet strand of hair from her face “Do not worry about what might have been, Marie” the commander advised the girl.

Anya returned a few moments later with a tray with a pot filled with tea and a small jar containing honey. She had fetched the tea herself and noticed that Marie was wrapped up in a fur blanket on the sofa still shivering slightly. “Was the water that cold?” the older woman asked worriedly gently laying a hand on Marie’s forehead to feel her temperature. She still felt a little too cold to the touch.

“What happens now?” Marie asked munching on some kind of meat. “I still have to speak with all of the guards from Desert Nation and Shallow Valley Clan and the Lake people” Anya answered “I will try to finish before the executions” the woman added addressing Lexa. The commander nodded “I have a training session scheduled with my nightbloods, you are welcomed to join us. Or you can stay here and rest, Gustus or Ryder could stay with you guarding you.”

“Oh, I want to come” Marie retorted immediately her grey eyes shining with enthusiasm.


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 64  
> Lexa cares for Marie after the interrogation and the girl has her very first real bath. Lexa agrees to take her to the next training session with the nightbloods.

Chapter 65

Lexa had not had much time thus far to spend with her novitiates after the return from the Mountain. The children all had been exited to hear that Lexa had taken a new second from Skykru and were awaiting impatiently to finally meet the mysterious girl. Lexa had not told Marie much about the novitiates only that there were seven of them who were old enough to take part in the conclave residing in Polis permanently and that they were being trained so that one of them would one day ascend after her death.

Marie looked around the tower with interest sparkling in her eyes. When Anya had brought here into the tower she had barely been conscious and earlier in the day she was to tense to really take in her surroundings. Some of the structures of the tower had either been destroyed by the bombs that ended the world or had been worn down by time while other things were completely intact. Marie wondered what the purpose of the tower might have been in the previous world. When she voiced her question Lexa also had no clear answer just knowing that all of the commanders had always resided within the tower.

Lexa had sent a guard to Titus to let him know that she wanted the novitiates to be brought to the throne room now. She had planned to take the nightbloods to a clearing to train them but she did not want to take Marie outside yet and she could always reschedule the training for another time.

She led Marie into her throne room and watched the girl take in the room. A red carpet lined the intricate tiles of the floor towards a throne which looked almost like the one Marie had already seen in Lexa’s tent. Thin curtains let some light through the large windows behind the throne and a huge amount of candles was distributed through the whole room some even hanging from huge chandeliers. Twelve chairs were placed in a round circle around the throne a big distance between the throne placed on a raised platform and the chairs. A variety of pelts laying underneath the throne and a circular stair led to an upper floor in the corner of the room.

“For what are the chairs?” Marie asked curiously letting her gaze flicker through the large room. Large flags dangled from the ceiling above the stairs each one showing a different sign. “Can’t you guess?” Lexa retorted sitting down on her throne and looking down on Marie who still stood in the middle of the room. Marie scrunched her brow in thought “Mmh” the girl hummed cocking her head slightly “For the different clans of the coalition?” she guessed after a moment. “Very good” Lexa commented in a praising tone.

The sound of footsteps resonated through the corridor and Marie turned around towards the sound. Titus led a group of children into the large room. None of them were talking but all were walking proudly keeping their head raised highly. The bald man’s dark eyes narrowed when the first thing he noticed was Marie standing in the throne room. Lexa quickly addressed the man before he could utter a single word “Thank you, teacher. You can go back to your duties now”. Titus swallowed visibly but nodded and bowed to the commander respectfully before leaving the room without another word.

It was obvious that her novitiates had already caught up with who Marie was and they looked her up and down curiously. “You are really from the sky?” Ryno addressed the older girl looking up at her with curious brown eyes. The boy had just arrived at Polis a few month ago born into the Broadleaf clan. Together with Kyla from the Boat People they were the youngest novitiates just five summers old and just starting their training with weapons. Marie nodded obviously quite shy now under the scrutinizing eyes of all those unfamiliar children. They had surrounded her in seconds and completely ignored Lexa’s presence except for Aden, Kato and Thalu the oldest nightbloods of the group.

Lexa cleared her throat loudly when the younger ones started to bombard Marie with one question after the other not even giving the girl the opportunity to answer the ones asked previously. Marie glanced thankfully at Lexa when she called the attention from all the children.

“Lexa” Thalu said softly stepping up to the commander’s throne. They had heard the guards gossiping about an assassination attempt, Aden had tried to calm the others telling them that Lexa was obviously fine. Although the nightbloods all knew that they were trained for the sole purpose to take up Lexa’s place after she fell that was nothing they wished for to happen soon. Lexa had always been kind and gentle with them and Aden still vaguely remembered the commander before Lexa and he had been anything but gentle. Aden had been too young when the previous commander died to take part in the conclave.  The girl’s light green eyes shone with compassion clearly searching Lexa’s body for injuries.

Lexa inclined her head towards the eleven year old girl signalling to her that everything was alright. “Novitiates” Lexa addressed the group of children calling their sole attention “I want to introduce you to Marie from Trikru born Skykru, second to the commander and the flame”.  Marie shyly averted her eyes to the floor after only a few seconds fidgeting nervously. Aden was the first of the group to recall his manners and he respectfully introduced himself in almost perfect English standing tall and proud. The others followed his example one by one politely introducing themselves, the younger ones had switched to their native tongues not feeling sure enough in the other language.

The commander silently noted the huge differences between Marie’s behaviour and how all of her nightbloods seemed way surer of themselves. Anya and she needed to work on Marie’s self-esteem quickly as all the ambassadors were sure to pounce on every bit of weakness Marie would present to them once she was healthy enough to stand through a meeting.

“Now I am sure Marie would be pleased to answer some of your questions” Lexa addressed the group of children. When all of them resumed their chaotic influx of questioned the commander silenced them again “Ask after each other and not all at once. And only ask one question, so think carefully what you want to know. Kyla, you may start”.

The small red haired girl shortly glanced at Lexa with sparkling blue eyes and a small smile on her round face revealing a gap where she had lost some of her baby tooth only recently. The girl was still very shy and Kyla cocked her head to the side thinking for a moment before she lowly asked “How is living in the sky different?”

Lexa could see Marie blinking at the small girl looking up at her expectedly. Kyla may be very young but she was wise beyond her years and from the way she spoke and how her mind worked Lexa herself always had to keep in mind how young the small girl really was.

“Well” Marie started to answer and stopped for a moment of contemplative silence “You can’t really live within the sky, so we lived on the Ark, a huge metal space ship” Kyla did not seem satisfied with the answer her small face scrunching up in a frown so Marie elaborated quickly “It was very small. And there were no trees, or animals, or nature really…”

The smaller girl cocked her head to the side “That does not sound very nice” her voice sounded almost pitiful. Marie just shrugged her shoulders silently not knowing what to answer to that assessment. The Ark had been everything they had known and they had simply not had another possibility prior to coming to earth.

Ryno was the next one who got to ask his question. The difference between the two youngest nightbloods could not have been greater. “Do the stars look nice up close?” “We actually were not that near to stars actually” Marie tried to explain “And they look very different from the earth”.

Others wanted to know more about the system of the Ark, about what people actually did and what they ate for example. The three oldest of them had already more of a strategical thinking and asked about their weapons, about their military forces and Aden wanted to know how their leader was chosen.

Marie tried to explain that the Ark had a council of representatives from all of the stations building up the Ark and that the chancellor, who was voted by the population, was the most powerful figure. The girl could not answer how the representatives themselves were chosen, she had simply been too young before she came into the skybox to know much about the political system.

As Marie grew more comfortable in the presence of the bunch of unknown children Lexa let her novitiates start another round of questions. All of them were eager to learn as much as possible about the foreign clan who had fallen from the sky. Marie’s smile vanished from her face when Saria asked after the other girl’s parents and if they liked the earth. “I don’t know” Marie said her eyes unfocused for a moment before she blinked and added lowly “They died before the Ark came to earth”.

Titus came back into the room in that moment and clapped his hands to get the attention of the nightblood children. All of them obediently turned to their mentor who only shortly glanced at Marie before the bald man led the group of children out of the room. Marie watched the others leave in a perfectly organized row not even chatting with each other, their heads held high proudly as they quietly followed Titus.

Lexa stood from her throne and looked out of the window for a moment, the sun was starting to set. “Come” the commander said to Marie “We must prepare”.

“Prepare for what?” Marie asked softly although she immediately fell into step slightly behind Lexa. Her hip was hurting pretty bad from having been on her feet for such a long time period and she had trouble keeping up with Lexa’s fast pace.

Lexa slowed her steps when she noticed the struggle on the girl’s face “The executions will start in less than two candle marks”. There was no need to clarify and she could see the girl swallowing harshly as Marie mutely followed her. “How does your hip feel?” Lexa asked her charge to distract her somewhat. “Hurts” Marie said truthfully a small wince visible now with every step she took. “I am sure the healer will have a tea to help with that” Lexa quickly reassured, she had never relied on any medications against pain always preferring the bite of the pain against the muddled mind most of the teas left.

“Will I need to participate?” Marie asked in an almost whisper once they had stepped into the elevator. “It is important that you do” Lexa answered looking down at the girl compassionately. Marie nodded although her shoulders drooped obviously anything but pleased with this answer.

Alira was still in the commander’s quarters when they entered and Lexa immediately asked the older woman for a tea to help with Marie’s pain. The handmaiden nodded and told Lexa she would send the tea.

Marie nibbled at a piece of bread not feeling hungry at all. Her stomach felt coiled tightly with apprehension of the upcoming execution. She could not help feeling that she should be with those waiting for their deaths right now while another part of her noted that she did not feel anything in particular about having to participate in the executions per se. Lexa had given up on trying to distract the girl with a conversation and quickly applied her typical war paint.

Anya stepped into the room a moment later looking slightly irritated and with a steaming cup in her hand. The woman pushed the mug forcefully into Marie’s hand when the girl did not react to her. With a furrowed brow she let the girl be for now and went over to Lexa who put the finishing touches to her war paint. “Did something happen?” Anya asked with a glance at Marie who sipped at the tea lost in her thoughts staring at the wall opposite of her with unseeing eyes.

“The upcoming executions have obviously riled her up” Lexa observed cleaning the brush she had used of the black coal “What can you say about the state of the guards?”

Anya huffed annoyance flashing in her brown eyes “The head of the guards really has succeeded in sowing doubt against you. Many are amongst the ranks of the guards who could be easily bribed and I have also found others quite openly opposing you. That the mountain has fallen seems to have crossed their plans but it would still be wise to exchange all who do not stand behind you steadfastly.” The commander nodded she had already expected this kind of outcome.

“The tea cannot help if you don’t drink it” Anya commented drily after she had applied her own war paint with a few quick swipes. Marie’s head wiped up as she looked to Anya with slightly widened eyes having been startled. “Stay still” Anya ordered and bent down to also apply the paint around Marie’s eyes in the way Lexa had done before their march on the Mountain.

“You will get through tonight” Anya said after she lowered the brush from the girl’s face “and you will wake up stronger tomorrow.”

Marie pulled her legs up on the couch slinging her arms around her knees with an obvious wince of discomfort. Her voice quivered slightly when she spoke up after a tense moment of silence, Anya and Lexa both giving the girl the time she obviously needed to sort through her thoughts. “I can’t stop thinking that I should be there…”

Anya looked confused at the words while Lexa clenched her teeth mutely. The leader had a better understanding of the girl’s way of thought at the moment and the guilt Marie was feeling was painfully clear in her big grey eyes. “There will be no tree for you, Marie” Lexa said in a strong tone that signalled finality. The older woman huffed when Marie looked at Lexa like a deer spotted by a pack of wolves. Marie looked away after a moment of trying to hold both of their scrutinizing gazes directing her eyes to the floor in obvious shame.

When Anya opened her mouth to say something Lexa quickly shook her head silencing her former mentor. She knew that words would not be able to convince the girl. Lexa hoped that with the executions Marie would also be able to close the matter in her mind and to find peace with what she had nearly done.

The commander and Anya ate a bit of the food in companionable silence. Lexa stood up from the couch and nodded to Anya that it was time now. The older woman offered a hand to Marie and squeezed the girl’s fingers reassuringly “Take a few deep breath. Everything is fine and you will see that”.

Marie nodded obviously not convinced at all but she let herself be pulled to her feet by Anya’s strong grip. The general held Marie’s dark green coat open for the girl to slip her arms into as the nights were starting to get colder as winter was approaching.

Gustus and Ryder both fell into step behind the commander once they stepped out of Lexa’s quarters. Titus would have already escorted the older novitiates to the place of the execution and would be waiting there.

Marie’s eyes widened when they left the tower. The place in front of the tower was crowded with people and a path led to a raised huge podium where six huge poles had been erected. It was unfortunate that Marie’s first real impression of Polis would be of tonight, but Anya hoped that the girl would enjoy the festivities that were due to start the next day and would probably last for a few days.

In the back of the podium Titus already stood beside the nightblood children, missing the two smallest ones. A few high ranking generals and ambassadors were also waiting for the commander on the podium.

Lexa led them up to the podium with an air of absolute authority around her. The people gathered around the podium were mostly civilians of Polis intermixed with those freed from the Mountain, some vendors from other clans as well as delegations who already had arrived for the festivities.

Lexa stepping onto the podium was a sign for guards who had stood in the shadow of the tower to bring forth the prisoners who were to die now. Four men and two women were dragged more or less willingly towards the poles. Marie immediately recognized Arla, who also looked to have been violently interrogated, and Soy. Both of them did not resist in the slightest and the others who struggled against the guards were all completely unfamiliar to Marie.

The girl stayed standing next to Anya, as both of them had instructed her on their way down, and waited for the commander to address the crowd.


	66. Chapter 66

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of the chapter contains the description of the executions, so some violence.
> 
> Previously in chapter 65  
> Marie meets the nightblood children Lexa trains in Polis. Later she is to accompany the commander and Anya to the execution of those involved in the plot against Lexa.

Chapter 66

Lexa watched impassively as the prisoners were bound to the poles they would die on in the next hours. Her jaw clenched shut and her lips thinned were the only indications to the anger still cursing through her veins. Marie was fidgeting in her place next to Anya so much that the general forcefully put a hand on the girl’s shoulder to ground her somewhat. The girl looked up at Anya with apologetic grey eyes shortly but Anya merely inclined her head mutely and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

As the guards stepped back from the poles the commander stepped forward into the middle of the podium turning her back to the prisoners and addressing the crowed with a loud clear voice “We are gathered here to punish those who tried to end my reign with an unsuccessful assassination attempt. All of them were directly involved and will die death by a thousand cuts. Blood must have blood!”

Lexa shouted the last phrase in an angry snarl and the crowd picked up the phrase chanting it for a few moments until the commander raised her hand silently. Marie really admired how Lexa could silence the whole crowd of obviously angry people by a mere rise of her hand. But really everyone fell silent in a few seconds and Lexa was handed a dagger with a beautifully crafted handle by Titus.

The flamekeeper stepped back as Lexa went over to Soy, who in her eyes was the one really guilty, he had simply succeeded in getting the others to help him. He had been on a campaign of personal revenge and had dragged at least Arla into all of this. But Lexa could not spare the young handmaiden, she knew that she had been fortunate that Marie’s involvement had remained between Anya and her, or their second would also be standing here at the moment.

Lexa quickly placed a cut on the man, she doubted he would last long. He had already lost quite a lot of blood already. The man’s eyes burned with hatred as she looked into them for a silent moment before she stepped over to the man, who had been responsible to organize the guards around the tower. Titus had told her that he had been promised to be promoted to a high ranking general by whoever became the commander after her. It was obvious to her that the man’s involvement already proved his inability to serve as a general, he was simply lacking the character, strategical thinking and foresight such a position required.

The commander placed her cuts on all of the prisoners and handed the dagger over to Titus, as the flamekeeper he was the one to rule Polis until the conclave took place. She stepped back up to Anya and took a closer look to Marie. But the girl was intensely watching Titus movements as he placed his own cuts. The nightblood children were handed the dagger next and all of them placed their cuts in quick sure movements. Afterwards it was Anya’s turn and the woman reluctantly left Marie’s side. The girl had slightly been leaning against her legs as if needing another’s strength to stay upright at the moment.

Her cuts were slightly deeper than those the nightbloods had placed prior to her and Arla moaned in obvious discomfort, the first to react to the pain. Marie had already known that she would be the next one to get the dagger and that Gustus would receive the blade after her. But her fingers visibly trembled as Anya pressed the dagger into her smaller hand and Marie had to fight against the urge to stare at the blade as she could already feel a moisture on the handle that could only be fresh blood. She could practically feel the eyes of the crowd following her every move as she slowly stepped up to the first pole. With trembling fingers Marie placed her first cut with obviously more force than would have been needed. The blade easily cut through the skin of Soy and Marie had tried so hard to keep her fingers steady that she felt as the blade suddenly collided with the hipbone of the man. The man grunted through gritted teeth and Marie ripped the blade from the cut nearly stumbling backwards as the blade came free of his body. Blood gushed out of the huge wound immediately some catching the girl’s hands as she jerked away.

Marie placed the other cuts way more quickly and hesitantly barely drawing blood at all. She was grateful Gustus met her halfway on her way back to Anya and took the blade from her. Marie stumbled back between Lexa and Anya and was unsuccessfully rubbing at her hands trying to get the drying blood of. Anya hissed at her lowly to stop that and Marie had to concentrate on keeping her hands at her sides. Lexa could see the girl’s fingers clenching occasionally with the need to scrub them clean again from the corner of her eyes.

Marie barely watched anymore as the dagger was handed from one person to another. Her hip was hurting constantly and she could literally feel Soy’s blood drying on her fingers making her skin crawl uncomfortably.

As Lexa had predicted Soy and Arla were the first ones to succumb to their injuries. Not even half of those gathered around the podium had been given the blade at this point. Guards took the bodies of both of them from their poles and carried them to a pyre that had already been built in preparation on the other side of the crowd.

None of them lasted until Lexa’s sword though. The executions had taken the better time of the whole night and pale sliver of light already proceeded the rise of the sun in the following morning. Marie was leaning heavily against Anya although her eyes were wide opened Lexa doubted the girl noticed much of the proceedings. When the last body had been moved to the pyre Lexa lit the huge pyre with a blazing torch and the crowed stayed to see the bodies being consumed by the fire.

The commander would wait until the bodies had burnt completely before she could return to the tower. She had Titus postpone all meetings that had been scheduled for the next morning and only wanted to be disturbed in case of a pressing emergency otherwise she would rest slightly longer. Anya had also opted to stay with her previous second so that Marie also had to stay with them. Lexa would have liked to offer the girl to leave but she knew that all the ambassadors had been watching the girl the whole night and she was grateful Marie had at least not cried and she hoped the girl would keep her bearing together for the rest of the night.

The pain relief of the tea had long since stopped numbing the burning pain in her hip and her mind was awkwardly blank. As Marie was staring into space she startled when Anya suddenly steered her into the direction back to the tower, the girl had not even noticed how the fire had turned to nothing more than gleaming embers.

Lexa and Anya had to move even slower now as Marie seemed to be in great pain with each step she took. Anya waited until they had finally entered the entrance hall of the tower and simply picked the girl up carrying her on her hip like done with much smaller children. Marie did not protest Anya’s handling of her at all silently only thankful to be off her feet. Lexa watched her former mentor with fondness in her eyes when Marie slung her arms around Anya’s neck her fingers still caked in dried blood and laid her head against the woman’s neck.

The way up to the top floor of the tower passed in silence. Both women were worn out from the long day wanted nothing more than a few hours of peaceful rest. Marie’s grey eyes were focused on the commander’s face as she listened to Anya’s steady pulse beneath her ear.

When they reached the top floor and left the elevator Anya stopped with Marie in her arms in front of the door to their joined quarters and bid goodnight to Lexa. The commander nodded to Marie and Anya and continued down the corridor to her own quarters in front of which guards were already posted.

Anya sat Marie down on the bed and quickly went into the bathroom. She came back carrying a bowl with clean water and a few clean rags “Clean your hands” the woman instructed in a gentle tone and started to shrug out of the armour she had been wearing the whole day.

Marie mutely scrubbed at her finger quickly turning the clean water in the bowl a muddy red. The girl was scrubbing so fervently that Anya feared she would just scratch open her own hands if she did not stop soon so she forcefully took the rag from Marie’s fingers “Look at your hands, Marie, they are perfectly clean” Anya said to her charge in an even tone holding the girl’s gaze for long moments.

Marie obediently looked at her fingers and although they truly were clean of the blood in her mind she could still feel the blood sticking to her skin. Anya took another rag and carefully cleaned Marie’s face off the black war paint smudged around the girl’s eyes.

“You should get ready for bed” Anya instructed and shortly went back into the bathroom. The woman tended to sleep only in her underwear and a loosely fitting tank top. She placed her armour carefully over a chair in one corner of the room and watched as Marie disrobed still sitting on the bed. Anya helped the girl by crouching down and pulling her trousers down her legs and took the clothes Marie had carelessly discarded on the floor next to the bed to another chair where she neatly folded the girl’s clothing. It worried Anya slightly that Marie had not said a single word yet but she chalked it up to exhaustion and maybe a bit of shock and hoped that a few hours of sleep would be enough to lighten her mood again. Anya quickly went around the room and blew out the candles scattered around their quarters leaving the moonlight that shone through the windows the only slight source of light.

Anya did not even try to get Marie to sleep in her own bed this night. So she checked that the dagger she kept hidden under her pillow was still there and slipped under the furs. When Marie remained sitting on the edge of the bed without any reaction Anya directed her to lay down. The woman could see Marie shortly glancing towards her own smaller bed and she huffed “Just lay down, you can stay with me for the night” Anya offered and Marie immediately scooted closer to the other woman and slipped under the furs.

Marie positioned herself in a way that enabled her to lay her head on Anya’s chest so that she could listen to the other’s strong heartbeat. Anya just tightened her arms around the girl’s smaller body exhaling in a mute sigh and whispered into her blonde soft hair “Sleep, _ai skaifay_ , it is over and I will keep watch over you”.

Fortunately for Anya Marie was so exhausted that she quickly was lulled to sleep by her steady heartbeat. But unfortunately it also did not take very long for Marie’s sleep to be disturbed by nightmares. Anya ended up cradling the girl’s body close to her chest stroking her back and hair soothingly and whispering sweet nothings into her ears for the better time of the rest of the night.

They were both completely exhausted and Anya already had a severe headache pounding behind her eyelids when Lexa came into the room a few hours later. The commander seemed surprised to find both of them still in bed. She signalled for a guard to call for breakfast for all of them and greeted Marie with a “good morning” when the girl left the bed swaying slightly on her feet. “Morning” Marie murmured and Lexa quickly assisted the girl the few steps to the bathroom making sure she would not fall.

“Rough night?” Lexa asked just as Anya had sat up in the bed rubbing at her eyes and massaging her temples.

“You can’t imagine” Anya grumbled “She barely slept for a few minutes at a time. You can have her the next night…” her voice was annoyed even though worry for their charge was evident in her eyes.

Lexa chuckled under her breath at her general’s antics knowing that Anya tented to be short tempered if she lacked sleep until she woke up completely at least. “And it will be another long day for all of us with the opening feast” she commented watching as Anya dressed herself. She did not respond to the comment of taking Marie for the next night but if the opportunity presented itself Lexa had nothing against Marie sleeping in her quarters at all. The commander knew that her general was probably hoping to reunite with the female warrior from the desert clan she liked to share her furs with if they ever saw each other.

When Marie finally emerged back from the bathroom her steps had become surer again and her long blond hair fell freely over her shoulders as the braids had loosened over the night and she had completely brushed them out.

Alira personally brought the breakfast for all of them just as Lexa had motioned Marie over to stand in front of her to quickly redo the braids for the girl. The older handmaiden handed Marie a cup still steaming slightly and said with a twinkle in her eyes “with a bit of honey, just for you”. Marie thanked Alira with a beaming smile while Lexa could see Anya just rolling her eyes, she knew that the general thought that they had started to spoil the girl.

Their late shared breakfast passed quickly and was interrupted by Gustus knocking on the door proclaiming that Titus wanted the message relayed to Lexa that all ambassadors had assembled in the throne room. Lexa told him that she would arrive shortly and his heavy footsteps resonated through the mostly empty hallway.

“Aren’t you late?” Marie questioned with a slightly cocked head as Lexa calmly finished what she had been eating before cleaning her hands and slipping on her gloves.

The woman shook her head “The commander is never late, Marie”. The girl scrunched up her brow in confusion as the sentence did not make much sense to her.

“They can’t start the meeting without Lexa” Anya supplied as she buckled on her sword “So whenever Lexa arrives the meetings will start and by thus she simply can’t be too late, the others simply were too early.”

Marie chuckled lowly but remained seated on the bed and she looked up slightly startled to Lexa when the commander offered her gloved hand for her to take. “You will be introduced to the ambassadors in this meeting, so your presence is also required” the commander explained. The girl’s mouth formed an “o” of surprise but she quickly took her hand and let herself be hoisted off the bed.

“Do I need to do or say anything?” Marie questioned curiously as they made their way to the elevator as she glanced at Anya first and then at Lexa.

Both women shook their heads in the negative and Lexa elaborated “No, the meeting won’t be long. I am sure some of the ambassadors will eagerly try to talk to you at the opening banquet of the festivities this night.” Marie nodded her head in understanding so there was no reason for her to be nervous.

Lexa proceeded them into the throne room and Marie followed Anya to her destined place in the big room. Men and women were now standing in front of the chairs Marie had seen empty before and she curiously let her grey eyes glance around the room noting the different clothing the people from the different clans wore. As Lexa had reached her throne and turned around to face the small gathering she loudly said “Greetings ambassadors”. The greetings were answered by all those in the room in a loud chorus and everyone kneeled down in submission, Marie quickly copied Anya’s movements although getting on her knees proved to be rather painful still.

All got to their feet again when Lexa commanded it and she addressed the crowd again “We have gathered here to speak about our brothers and sisters rescued from the Mountain. Some have expressed their desire to stay within Polis and they will be granted their wishes.” The commander paused and regarded the reactions from the ambassadors in the silence that now filled the room. “I will establish a unit of warriors only loyal to the flame and by thus the commander regardless of the clans they were born into” Lexa continued and she could already see that some of the ambassadors were not happy with this piece of new information. “Organizing the unit and Polis’ army will now be the duty from Anya kom Trikru” she added nodding to her former mentor shortly. The woman inclined her head in acceptance as they had already spoken about this in private.

“Will we be forced to send our best warriors to your private army now?” the ambassador of the Rock Line clan demanded to know loudly. Lexa narrowed her eyes at the impertinent man “No, you will not. Only those who desire to solely fight for the flame will be part of this unit. But I might need to remind you that being part of the coalition means that there should be fewer wars, declining the need for warriors all together”.

The man’s eyes glazed minutely but he remained silence after the chastisement. Lexa stared him down for another moment before she let her gaze wander around the room shortly and then continued “I also want to introduce Marie from the Sky people to you, who is, as rumour already might have told all of you, a second to the flame”. Marie remained upright in her chair and met the curious glances with a calm façade although she wished Lexa would call the attention away from her.

“What about Skykru, should we not…” the desert clan ambassador addressed the commander in the silence. Lexa lazily raised her hand silencing the man immediately “I will not hear this again” she said in an unyielding tone. She asked the Trikru ambassador if there had been any violent meetings between both clans since the Mountain, the woman declined telling that Skykru have offered aid for the injured of TonDC and some had returned to TonDC to assist in the rebuilding of the village and that the chancellor wanted to speak about trade alliances with Trikru. Lexa nodded thankfully to her and said “I will meet personally with a Skykru delegation in three weeks from now to negotiate trade treaties. I will not march with an army against the clan if they remain peaceful.” She looked at the desert clan ambassador with sharp green eyes daring him to defy her now but the man wisely remained silent now so Lexa closed the meeting dismissing the ambassadors until the opening banquet.


	67. Chapter 67

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 66  
> The executions of those involved in the plot against Lexa take place and Anya afterwards spends a long night with Marie trying to sooth the girl after her nightmares. On the following day Marie is introduced to the ambassadors officially and Anya is appointed her new role to organize the warriors in Polis.

Chapter 67

“What happens at the festivities?” Marie asked curiously after the ambassadors had all left the throne room leaving only Anya, Gustus, Ryder and Titus standing in front of the wooden throne were Lexa was sitting.

“All of the clans will officially receive those back who have been rescued from the Mountain at the opening banquet and afterwards there will mostly be people celebrating with a lot of food and drinks and everywhere small competitions will take place” Anya tried to explain to the girl.

“Did you not have something like that on the Ark?” Lexa asked with interest.

Marie thought for a second before she shook her head “Not really. There was a small gathering during the unity day but it never lasted long”

Anya snorted “The whole city will be in festive mood for days”.

“Really?” Marie clarified with big eyes she was completely incapable of envisioning what that would look like. The mood at the executions had been heavy and she hoped the festivities would be totally different.

“I am sure you will enjoy it” Gustus supplied with a gentle twinkle to his dark eyes.

Lexa could see Titus’ watching the exchange with narrowed eyes, it was painfully obvious that her old teacher was still suspicious of the girl. Lexa furrowed her brow, as second to the flame Marie was actually entitled to learn the rites of the passage of the flame. Basically the girl could be educated to function as a flamekeeper. The purpose behind having a second who knew how the rituals worked was that a commander could fall in the chaos of battle and it might be impossible to gather the body later and the real flamekeeper usually resided in Polis and did not travel with the commander. A headache formed behind Lexa’s temple at the thought of having to argue with Titus to start teaching Marie in the future. For now the girl would still first and foremost need to learn the skills needed to keep her alive in battle, but planning ahead was essential.

“Where is the girl to be placed at the banquet?” Titus interrupted the conversation with his question his eyes boring into Lexa’s intensely.

“Next to me and Anya” Lexa easily replied keeping her tone bored on purpose and she could already see a vein on Titus’ forehead pulsing in obvious annoyance but the bald man swallowed down his criticism and wisely only nodded his head. She had already made it clear to him that she wanted Marie’s place made clear right from the beginning and she would not back down now.

Lexa had already decided that Marie would sit directly next to her and Anya on the girl’s other side shielding her at least somewhat from the curiosity the girl would surely draw from the ambassadors and clan leaders sharing the banquet table this night. The last days had proven how easily the girl was to be manipulated if left alone so Anya and she had decided to hinder the girl being alone with others for now until Marie was surer of herself and what her new role entitled.

“When will the banquet start?” Marie inquired curiously obviously eager for the event to start.

Lexa’s eyes softened at the girl’s open enthusiasm “In a few hours, but we will change again beforehand. I picked the dress myself you will be wearing.”

“A real dress?” Marie mouthed her grey eyes shining excitedly.

Anya snorted and shook her head “You can go in a sack if that suits you better…” Marie’s face fell slightly obviously still unsure how to handle Anya’s sarcasm she used sometimes.

Lexa lightly glared at her old mentor “I am sure you will like it. Have you never worn one before?”

Marie shook her head her brows furrowed in thought “Not that I can remember. But I have seen some pictures”.

Guards opened the huge doors to the throne room and Alira quickly slipped through telling the commander that the preparation were finished and baths were drawn for them. The commander thanked the handmaiden and stood from her throne. Titus was the first one to leave the room and Lexa knew he was heeded to the quarters of the novitiates who were also allowed to attend the banquet.

Marie followed Lexa and Anya who were both deep in a conversation about the small unit Lexa wanted to raise who would fight independently of their clans. The girl only listened half-heartedly but noted that she did not have much problems to follow the words of the conversation although they were spoken in Trigedasleng. She had not even really noticed how quickly she had become fluent in the foreign language.

Lexa bid them farewell in front of the door to their shared quarters and left in the direction of her own rooms. Anya offered to wash Marie’s hair for the girl and let her take the bath before her. The girl still needed some assistance getting her legs over the bath tubs ledge anyway. 

So Marie stripped out of her clothing in the bathroom while Anya laid out her own clothes for the banquet. The girl waited in front of the bath tub filled with gently steaming water scented with flowery oils for Anya to return. Anya offered her outstretched hand to Marie and eased the girl into the water making sure she would not slip on the wet metal. The water was comfortably warm and Marie let out a contented sigh as she submerged in the water. Anya kneeled behind the girl’s head and took a bowl to wet the girl’s head letting some water run over the blonde locks.

She carefully let her fingers slide through the wet locks loosening all the tangles where the girl had not taken out all the braids completely. Anya foamed a soap in her hand and the scent of roses filled the heated room instantly. Marie relaxed back as Anya gently washed her hair and she noticed how careful the woman was to not let any soapy water run over her face. When all of the blonde hair was soaped Anya washed away the thuds again leaving the hair softer than before and smelling faintly of roses. “Lean forward” Anya instructed and when Marie obliged instantly she swept the wet mass of hair over the girl’s shoulder and washed her charges back as well with quick movements. 

“You can get out now” Anya said as she dried her hands off with a towel. Marie pouted and looked at Anya with her huge grey eyes “Can’t I stay in a little bit longer?” Anya huffed in annoyance “And where do you suppose I bath? We have to get ready after all”. The girl furrowed her brow in thought and then pulled her legs to her body making room in the bathing tub “You could just join me” she offered her eyes pleading with Anya.

The woman rolled her brown eyes and snorted under her breath “Alright, you win for now”. She handed Marie a sponge and the soap “Then you will wash my back” and as the girl took the items from her hand Anya quickly stripped out of her own clothing and climbed into the bathing tub fortunately the tub was large enough to easily fit both of them.

“Should I wash your hair first?” Marie asked in a soft tone after Anya had turned her back to the girl. Anya curtly gave her consent, she could have done that herself of course but there was no harm in letting Marie help if she wished.

Marie now repeated all Anya had just done for her previously. The girl cautiously let the tips of her fingers glide over the numerous kill marks that were carved into Anya’s shoulders. A tattoo climbed up the other woman’s spine in an intricate pattern and Marie could make out other scars scattered around Anya’s back and arms, some barely there while others obviously stemmed from deeper wounds. Marie counted a total 43 kill marks and the girl’s mind conjured back the memory of the Mountain Man dying after she had stabbed him in the throat. “Anya, will I also get a kill mark?” the girl asked in the silence of the room her voice sounded awfully small.

Anya turned around the girl’s hands which had still been touching her back now hovered in the space between them. She gently grasped the girl’s smaller hands in her own and gave them a squeeze “Do you wish to get one?” Anya could see a conflict dancing over the girl’s grey eyes before the girl said her voice sounding as lost as her words “I don’t know”.

“You should not get just because you think you are supposed to have one” Anya reasoned with the girl her brown eyes boring into hers strongly.

Marie nodded mutely “What do they mean to you?” the child wanted to know still looking unsure of herself.

Anya took a deep breath “I got them for different reasons. The first ones to show off my skills in battle. Nowadays I do not get a mark for every kill. Mostly one for those I specifically want to remember.” The response was still somewhat elusive but it seemed to be enough for Marie as she said her eyes blazing with determination “Then I should get two”.

“Two?” Anya echoed with a frown, she only knew of one kill after all.

“For when I saved you from the Mountain Man and when Lexa almost …” her voice trailed off and now it was Anya’s turn to frown. Two kill marks would look impressive on someone as young as their charge and it would openly display her strength so she nodded after a moment of silent thinking.

“It is time to finally get ready for the festivities” Anya said breaking the heavy silence after another few moments and stood up from the bathing tub stepping over the ledge and wrapping a huge towel around her body. She offered a hand to Marie and helped the girl from the bathing tub also handing another towel to her. The woman wrapped another towel around her dripping hair.

When she caught Marie looking at her with eyes full of wonder Anya quirked a brow at the girl “What is it?”

“You look so different” Marie said after a second a soft smile on her lips. “Barefoot and wrapped in a towel?” Anya inquired teasingly “I would hope so”.

“No” Marie clarified shaking her head slightly “Without war paint”.

“Mmh” Anya grunted noncommittally although she felt touched by the girl’s words for a reason she could not pin down herself at the moment. The moment was broken when a pair of handmaiden knocked on the door to their quarters. 

Marie looked to be startled by the knocking but Anya quickly went to open the door and let the handmaidens enter. Lexa had already told her that she would send handmaidens to their quarters to make their hair more elaborate signifying their status in Lexa’s trusted circle.

Anya did not know the two women personally they were younger than her but older than Arla had been. Marie obediently sat down onto the chair one of the handmaidens indicated for her. The woman rubbed the blonde hair as dry as possible and combed through the blonde locks. Anya sat down on another chair and let the other handmaid work on her hair.

It took some time for the handmaiden to finish with both of their hair. Anya had her hair styled in a similar fashion she usually wore the only change that a few more strands were braided and some silver clips had been included. Marie’s hair looked completely different in contrast. The long blonde mane had been braided back and up in a series of smaller and bigger braids exposing the girl’s back. A few thin locks hung around the girl’s face giving a gentler picture and she also had some jewellery clips included in her hair. Anya quickly applied some black coal just around her eyes and dismissed the handmaidens telling them that they would manage dressing on their own.

Marie stood in front of a big shard of a broken mirror and was turning her head from side to side to see her hair she even carefully let her fingers glide over some of the braids. “Do not disturb the braids or I will have to call a handmaiden back to start over again” Anya cautioned the girl who immediately let her hands fall down at her side at the reprimand.

Anya let go of the towel slipping into underwear and wrapped a band around her breasts. She slipped the simple beige underdress over her head. It was cut asymmetrically and one side reached to her knee while the other ended just so her butt was covered. Another piece made of what looked to be a net belonged over the underdress. The outfit was finished with a piece of armour which looked more like a very broad leather belt with some buckles fastened around her midriff. It was enough to give the loose dresses form around her lithe body and although Anya rarely wore anything different than armour she liked the look of the outfit.

After the woman had finished she turned back to Marie who had obviously just remained standing where she was watching Anya get dressed. “You look really beautiful” Marie commented as her eyes shone with honest appreciation. Anya just nodded as a thanks and picked up the dress intended for Marie. It was a plain and simple dress dyed a deep blue. Marie would not know that being gifted a dress specifically tailored for her was something special but the girl eyed the dress with beaming smile so Anya refrained from pointing out its significance.

Anya held the dress over Marie’s head and mindful of the braids slipped the fabric over the girl’s body. The dress fitted almost perfectly. It nearly reached the floor and had been cut lower at the girl’s back revealing a huge part of her tattoo. The edge at the front had been embroidered with light blue and darker pearls in a flowery design which was repeated on the hem at the girl’s feet. Marie turned around in circles a few times with a childish squeal echoing through the room. Anya chuckled mutely at the sight and held up a fine silvery belt for Marie which finished her dress and slung it loosely around the girl’s midriff.

“How do I look?” Marie wanted to know from Anya after the woman had stepped back and turned around once more for her. “Also very beautiful” Anya assured her with twinkling eyes and a soft smile.

Another knock sounded from the door which swung open a second later to reveal Lexa. Marie’s mouth formed an “o” of wonder at the sight of Lexa. Her brown hair was braided in her usual pattern away from her face. The makeup she wore was different from her usual war paint. It seemed to consist of a mixture of black, red and a dark blue bringing out the green in Lexa’s eyes even brighter. And it was painted in a winged way from her eyes horizontally to her hair line. She was also not dressed in her usual commander attire but also was wearing a dress. It was mostly black with a few colourful patches reflecting the colour of the makeup around her eyes.

“Do you like your dress?” Lexa asked after she had quickly looked the girl over. Marie turned around in quick circle again nearly losing her balance if not for Anya’s hands quickly shooting out and steadying the child. The girl nodded with a huge smile plastered on her face “It is absolutely perfect”. Lexa gave the girl a soft smile “I am glad you like it”.

“It is start to go, is it not?” Anya remarked fastening the belt around her body more tightly. The commander nodded “I thought it might be good to arrive together”. Anya quirked her brow in confusion, Titus had always taken great care right from Lexa’s very first day as the commander to have the young commander separated from her. But she understood Lexa’s possible aim, they would be showing a united front this way. They both knew that the situation of the coalition would be precarious now that their shared enemy had been felled once and for all. So she nodded and added after a moment of silent hesitation “I guess Titus won’t like that” a gleam shone in her brown eyes as she also added “which is just a bonus for sure”. Lexa looked at her former mentor disparagingly although Anya could tell the younger woman fought a smile judging by the amused twinkle in her eyes.

“Titus rarely likes anything” Lexa commented drily “and I am sure he will like it even less when I propose to him that I want him to start teaching Marie the duties of a flamekeeper”.

Anya burst out laughing “Oh, please let me be in the room when you break the news to him”. Marie cocked her head confused at both of their antics and asked “What does duties of a flamekeeper mean?”

“That will be explained to you at a later point” Lexa assured Marie and glanced out of the window “We should go now, or Titus will probably come back to haul me out himself”. Even Marie now laughed lightly at Lexa’s obvious joke. The girl doubted Titus could really force Lexa to do anything no matter how much he might try.


	68. Chapter 68

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised to try to update more often again, here you go =)  
> I know that the plot is progressing rather slowly. I am currently writing chapter 77 and there we will finally see what happened to Clarke, so you will have to wait a while longer. Depending on how many chapters I will be able to finish in the next days I will update again pretty soon.
> 
> Previously in chapter 67  
> Preparations for the opening banquet of the festivities. Anya helps Marie get ready and they share a bath together.

Chapter 68

The further they came down in the tower sounds of a large crowd already echoed through the streets. Anya explained to her that the banquet was held in the tower with delegations of all clans and the ambassadors but that the normal people had already started the festivities on the street.

Marie was much more excited to see what Anya called the normal people. A banquet with delegations sounded awfully formal and probably boring as hell. In addition the girl looked forward to really seeing some of Polis for the first time.

The banquet took place in a huge room which was situated on one of the lower levels of the tower. When they stepped off of the elevator servants were still bustling around the halls carrying huge plates with various foods and huge mugs filled with different drinks.

Guards also lined the hall in front of the room and Titus was waiting at the door and when he saw Lexa approaching he acknowledged her with a mute dip of his head and turned around to announce the commander’s arrival.

Lexa proceeded the small group flanked on both sides by Gustus and Ryder and Marie walked next to Anya trailing behind Lexa only a short distance.

Her grey eyes widened as she took in the scenery of the room. Large chandeliers hung from the ceiling which held numerous glowing candles each and some torches were distributed around the room casting a soft golden light around the room. When Lexa entered a woman standing behind a dais also dressed in a pretty dress more similar to what Anya was wearing begun singing in a clear dramatic way. Marie first wondered that she had not thought that the people would sing songs and then mentally chastised herself for such a thought.

Huge tables were practically overflowing with various offers of different foods and the delegations of the different clans were easily distinguishable by the different clothing they wore. Although it was pretty warm in the room the Ice Nation delegation still had fur details incorporated within their outfits.

No throne was visible in the room but Lexa aimed for a chair at the head of the huge table filling most of the room. Anya guided Marie to one of the chairs next to Lexa’s and sat down the girl’s other side. Gustus and Ryder remained standing slightly behind Lexa’s chair keeping their eyes watchful even though Marie could easily spot many more guards scattered around the room.

Lexa gave a short speech to the gathering. Telling all of them how deeply contend she was to be able to bring those back taken by the Mountain and how she looked forward to the reunions. The commander had had to organize a lot of accommodations as many people from different clans had wanted to come to Polis in the hopes of finding their loved ones among those which had been rescued. She predicted that now that their common enemy had finally been conquered they could thrive towards a new era of peace and prospering.

Anya watched the gathering carefully during Lexa’s short speech noting which delegations did not look as honestly happy and hopeful as they should at the moment. She had to acknowledge with a frown that all those who had opposed Lexa’s reign the most strongly still looked rather doubtful and she dearly hoped that the commander would be able to stabilize the coalition.

Lexa ended her speech with giving a toast. Marie glanced at the cup wearily. The liquid inside was a dark red colour and she highly suspected it to be some wine again and judging by the intensity of the colour she feared it was not watered down at all. The people scattered around the table all had mugs raised in answer to the toast and Marie carefully took a small sip of the unknown liquid. She had her face scrunched up already in anticipation but looked at the mug with obvious confusion when the liquid was totally sweet and did not seem to be wine at all.

“What is that?” Marie lowly wanted to know from Anya. The woman smirked slightly “It is a juice made from the berries also used to make wine”. “I like it” the girl whispered back with a small smile. “I gathered” Anya noted and turned her gaze to those sitting opposite of them. Anya immediately recognized Luna and wondered why Lexa had invited the woman. Most were unaware that Luna was the nightblood which had fled from Lexa’s conclave but Anya had been there after all so she immediately recognized the curly red hair. The woman’s brown eyes were fixed on Marie in open curiosity. Lexa was telling Marie what foods laid in front of her so the girl did not notice the other’s stare at all.

Marie tried a little bit of almost everything Lexa recommended to her. Some taste were obviously not to her liking as the girl immediately curled her lips in distaste. After the girl had eaten her fill she started to pay more attention to her surrounding and immediately caught Luna still staring at her. Marie looked away from the intense gaze at once and looked back at Lexa instead.

“Mmh” Luna commented disparagingly “I do fail to notice courage in her”.   Marie’s eyes immediately snapped back to the woman and she narrowed her eyes at the stranger now staring right back at her. Luna cocked her head at the girl “There it is”.

“Luna” Lexa lowly reprimanded from between them “Why don’t I introduce…” Luna interrupted the commander “Everyone knows who she is. You had to pick the one that would stand out so strongly.” Lexa glared at the other woman. Luna had never been intimidated by her and Lexa still wondered if she would have even rise to be the commander if the other girl had not chosen to run from the conclave. She shook her head mutely such thoughts did not matter anymore now and she highly doubted Luna would have lasted as long as she already had. Although the girl clearly never lacked strength when it came to fighting Lexa knew that she would not have been able to make the hard decisions and sacrifices demanded by this position.

“Have I done something to offend you?” Marie asked honestly taking both Lexa and Anya by surprise. The way Luna blinked her eyes at the girl proving she had also not predicted such a reaction from the girl “No, you have not”.

“Mmmhh” Marie grunted noncommittally and after a moment of silent contemplation “I don’t like you either”.

Lexa wanted to reprimand the girl for her rudeness while Luna threw her head back and laughed so loud others were already looking at the woman strangely. Marie seemed to be completely bewildered and looked to Anya a silent question in her grey eyes. Anya took another sip from her mug of wine and said to Marie so low only Marie and Lexa could catch the words “Do not mind her, she has always been rather strange and rude”.  Lexa shook her head when Marie opened her mouth to ask for more information minding the people still with them in the room. Titus had never understood why Lexa chose to let Luna live after she chose to run and she knew that it would cause unrest would Luna’s black blood become common knowledge now.

Due to her placement between Lexa and Anya no one beside Luna dared to approach Marie. The girl was eager for the banquet to end and after she had finished the actual act of eating the gathering proved to be as boring as she had feared.

“When will we go outside?” Marie first asked turning her head to Anya. The woman just said “later” and resumed drinking the strong wine. Marie narrowed her eyes at her mentor but turned her head around to Lexa “When will …”

The commander interrupted the girl’s question before she could finish speaking. “I have heard your question, Marie” she said in a gentle tone “We shall go soon”. Marie pouted slightly as “soon” was a much undefined time interval. Luna had watched the quite interactions between the three of them silently. The woman leaned over to Lexa “You both deeply care for her”. Lexa quirked a brow at the other woman to speak what she actually wanted to say. “I have heard what happened to Costia” Luna said and Lexa stiffened slightly. “Do you wish to imply something?” the commander seethed at the woman with a hard glint in her green eyes. Luna immediately shook her head “I was sorry to hear about her”. Silence settled between them for a moment but Lexa waited feeling that Luna was not finished and she was proven correct when the other woman started speaking again “If I did not know any better I would say she is yours”.

At the offended look on Lexa’s face Luna clarified “Both you and Anya act as if she could be your own child”. Lexa sighed “You know she is not”. “But still you have a different bond to her than a bond between a first and second would require” Luna added.

“What do you want to say?” Lexa snarled at the other woman annoyed with this implying. Luna sighed deeply “I have a daughter of my own. Just be careful”

Before Lexa could say anything the other woman had stood up from her chair and left the room with quick strides without another word. Lexa internally wondered if they were being this obvious or if Luna just knew both of them so well after all the years they had spent in close proximity.

She had no idea why Luna chose to bring up Costia. Lexa could not shake off the memory of Costia’s lifeless eyes as her head was delivered to her bed. She also remembered the way Marie had looked at her and screamed for Anya as she was dragged away and how deeply hurt Clarke had looked at her as she called for the retreat.

“We can leave now” Lexa proclaimed shaking the dark memories from her mind. But she still could not completely banished wondering if Luna had heard that someone planned to target Marie in the future. Lexa also had not been aware that Luna was a mother. Spies were scattered over all the clans just to be sure and she wondered why the spies she knew who lived with the Boat People had not reported the birth of a child to Luna. She would need to send a flamekeeper to hear if the child could have nightblood as well. They still had no idea if the nightblood was hereditary or just a random occurrence.

Marie eagerly stood up while Anya emptied her mug in one go and Lexa quirked a brow at the other woman in silent question. But Anya ignored her question all together. Gustus and Ryder fell into step behind Lexa and a few other guards joined their group on their way to the elevator. Marie seemed almost impatient to finally get outside and was wiggling in her place in open excitement.

The streets were crowded with people. Guards were scattered around the celebrations and the mood was high. Marie seemed almost overwhelmed by all the new impressions.

Some people were openly hugging each other and Lexa spotted some of those who had been rescued from the Mountain finally reuniting with their love ones. Music was being played almost around every corner and people from different clans had mixed together some dancing and others just conversing with each other.

As Anya had promised small competitions took place everywhere. The people who organized them were loudly shouting over all the noise calling to those walking by their stalls to partake as well. The competitions differed. Some were done with weapons, like shooting a bow or throwing knifes at targets, while others were simple sparring matches without weapons or for example knocking down a stack of cans with a small ball.

A stall where a long path had been cleared and targets were positioned at different distances to throw knifes at caught Marie’s interest immediately. Anya also slowed as she spotted the female warrior from the desert clan she had secretly hoped to reunite with.

“Zora” she called out loudly smiling widely at the woman. The woman in question turned around at the familiar voice and Marie noted that she also had blonde hair braided together with bright yellow pieces of cloth and how her eyes were a light brown. She answered Anya’s smile and instantly enveloped the woman in a hug and quickly pecked her on the lips.

Marie blinked at both of them in confusion. She wondered if it was normal here for women to kiss each other. The girl tried to remember if she had seen something similar on the Ark but no, she could not. The couples she could remember had all been a man and a woman and mostly complimented by a child.

The stall’s owner had spotted the commander and the big man came over to them offering knives to Lexa “Would you honour me, commander?” Lexa nodded and took the offered knives. Anya and the stranger, named Zora, were talking intimately with each other so Marie turned her attention to Lexa and when she saw that the commander accepted the knives from the man who smiled kindly showing all of his teeth the girl stepped closer to Lexa.

“Can I try after you?” Marie asked eagerly looking hopeful. Lexa looked at the targets. All targets had been placed two times so they could use the course together. “Here” Lexa said offering a knife to Marie “We can try against each other”.

Marie looked at Lexa wide eyed “Mmmh, I can only lose that match”. “Who knows?” Lexa answered with a teasing glint in her eyes.

Marie squared her shoulders recognizing the challenge and accepted the dagger. The knife felt slightly off in her fingers she had no idea what was wrong with the blade but Lexa’s daggers had a complete different feeling to them.

When Marie tried hitting the first target the knife fell to ground as the blade had flown completely different than she had predicted. Marie looked at the knife on the floor with an offended frown etched on her face. Lexa now took her first strike and hers of course hit the target, not as perfectly as she normally did but it was not a complete miss.

“I don’t want to try again” Marie said pouting refusing to take another dagger from Lexa’s hands. Lexa quirked a brow at the girl “What have I told you about giving up so quickly?” her voice was sharp and Marie lowered her head. When she looked up again her eyes were stronger and she took a dagger from Lexa’s fingers before the girl turned around to throw Lexa halted her “Feel the knife’s balance. Feel how it feels between your fingers. They are balanced completely differently, so they will also behave different when you throw them. Not every dagger is forged to the same quality, you will need to learn how to handle all weapons, no matter their qualities.”

Marie listened intently to Lexa’s words. She nodded and carefully balanced the dagger between her fingers. Her brow furrowed in thought, she longed to compare this dagger with the one she had gotten from Lexa all those weeks ago, but Anya had said she would not need a dagger this evening so she had not strapped the sheath to her thigh as usual.

In the end she followed her instinct. When she let go of the dagger it somehow felt right and to her utmost joy the dagger hit the target now and almost perfectly in the middle. She turned back to Lexa with a huge grin plastered on her face.

“Very good” Lexa inclined her head and also threw her next dagger also hitting the target right in the middle.

The rest of the targets were dealt with in a similar manner. The stall owner seemed very impressed with the girl’s talent with his daggers. Lexa’s skill with throwing knifes was common knowledge in Polis but the girl’s skill had only been some rumours from warriors out of the army until now.

They had grown quite a crowd of onlookers by now. Most of the onlookers were obviously impressed with the girl’s ability, not being much behind Lexa’s skills. Instead of smiling at the onlookers Marie seemed to shrink under the scrutinizing gazes and slightly hid behind Lexa’s form.

Anya had also turned from Zora, who casually had an arm linked around the general’s midriff, and looked at their charge with a frown. It was obvious that Marie felt unwell with all the attention she was getting.

Lexa subtly shook her head at Anya to stop her from saying anything right now with all the audience around them. The tension around them dissipated when a small child ran at Lexa displaying a toothy smile and offering a small self-made bracelet to the commander. The boy’s voice was shrill in its enthusiasm as he said “Thank you for getting rid of the Mountain for all of us”.

Lexa knelt down in front of the boy mindful of the dress she was wearing to be on eyelevel with the bright eyed boy and she offered her wrist and waited patiently until the boy had fastened the bracelet around her wrist.

Marie watched on in silence as the scene unfolded. Unbeknown to Marie the people of Polis all loved the commander for her affinity to the people especially the children. The boy’s mother was rapidly apologizing to Gustus obviously afraid that they might be punished for the boy’s behaviour. But Lexa just playfully ruffled the boy’s unruly hair and sent the boy back to his mother with a smile.


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So back again with the next chapter.   
> The plot will now slowly start to develop. Just to state some facts for this story from now on. The grounders who have returned to Mount Weather in the fight have killed all Mountain Men, so no Emerson left! Because some grounders returned the betrayal is not was sharp as it had been in the show.   
> You will also see Roan in the next few chapters and I changed his story line as well as he will not be the one to search for Clarke.  
> I guess you will see the rest in time ^^
> 
> Previously in chapter 68  
> Marie gets to know Luna during the banquet and afterwards they go to the festival on the streets. Marie and Lexa join a small stall throwing daggers and Anya reunites with Zora, the desert clan warrior she likes to meet.

Chapter 69

Marie was amazed with Polis itself and its citizens. The streets of the city seemed to fan out from the tower and Marie could barely make out a huge metal wall on the horizon from which light reflected sometimes in the near darkness. Some of the streets seem to have remained after the bombs fell made out of stone. But as they travelled further from the tower the streets were not made from stone anymore but rather just some path of trampled ground. The buildings around the tower showed the same kind of destruction as the tower did, missing windows, some fallen balconies and a lot of the walls were smeared with paintings. But what intrigued Marie most was that so many trees were scattered around the streets, some seemed even to grow out of the remnants of buildings. 

The girl followed Lexa closely not wanting to risk getting separated from the commander while Anya had started to hang back slightly from the group together with Zora.

As the night dragged on Marie started to get slower with each step exhaustion gripping her body simultaneously the pain in her hip started to return. Lexa stopped now and then to engage in polite conversation with some representatives of the different clans. They were also stopped time and time again from people who wanted to thank the commander for getting someone back from the Mountain or simply putting a final end to the reaping.

Lexa had to conceal a laugh with a cough when Zora leaned over to Anya and tried to whisper something in the general’s ear. Both of them had already consumed an extensive amount of alcohol and Zora’s whispering was less quite then she had hoped. Anya’s widened eyes and the crimson blush that covered her usually stoically features were priceless to Lexa.

The commander proclaimed that they would return to the tower now. Anya finally got the hint that Marie would sleep in the commander’s quarters for the night and Zora followed them into the tower.

When they arrived at the tower Marie silently noted that more guards seemed to be stationed all around the halls. She lowly questioned Lexa about it and the commander explained to her that the security measures had been increased all over Polis but especially in the tower and it would last at least until the festivities were over an all the clan representatives had left the city again.

Leaving the elevator at the highest floor Marie wanted to go in the quarters she shared with Anya but the commander gently urged her on in the direction of her own quarters with a hand on her back. Zora chuckled under her breath and Anya and she vanished into the room. Lexa ordered a pair of extra guards to stand post in front of Anya’s door as she doubted that both occupants of the room would be alert enough to fend off possible attackers.

Gustus and Ryder left after another pair of guards were stationed in front of Lexa’s door and she ushered the girl into the room. The room was glowing with golden candlelight and Marie looked up at Lexa confusedly.

“Anya will be occupied this night with Zora” Lexa said to her and unfastened the belt around her midriff. “I would not have disturbed them, honestly” Marie assured quickly and the girl’s obvious preference to be with Anya right now felt like a slap to Lexa. She forced a smile on her face knowing that the girl needed only time “They want to catch up, I doubt they will sleep at all” the commander tried to explain “And you are clearly tired and need rest. So sleep.”

Marie nodded and Lexa handed her a black simple shirt the girl could use to sleep in this night. Lexa shrugged out of her dress folding it together carefully and dressed into a black nightgown. The commander collected a bowl of clean water and a few clean rags to clean her face off of the make-up. In the meantime Marie had also changed her clothes and Lexa was again struck by the image how her shirt which fitted her own form perfectly hung loose on the girl’s thin frame and reached down to her knobbly knees.

After cleaning her face of the paint she handed a clean rag to Marie and the girl obediently cleaned her own face while Lexa loosened the tight braids from her hair. The commander padded around the room with bare feet and blew out most of the candles casting the room in shadows. Marie also worked the braids out of her hair carefully not really enjoying sleeping on braided hair.

“What did learning about the flame mean?” Marie asked after slipping under the furs. The girl had turned onto her side, propping her head up on a head to look at Lexa. The woman sighed almost mutely before she answered in a steady voice “The flame contains the spirit of the commanders and the duty of the flamekeeper is to protect the flame and the commander.”

“I thought I was your and Anya’s second and not going to be a flamekeeper” Marie mumbled “Titus is the flamekeeper, right?” Lexa nodded noticing the hint of distaste in the girl’s voice “Previous commander’s always had a second with them that was also qualified at least partly as a flamekeeper. If a commander falls in battle it is not always possible to get access to the body to gather the flame for the next commander or only with heavy losses.”

“So the commander’s second would then get the flame?” Marie surmised with a scrunched brow “But how can a spirit be a physical thing?” Lexa smirked, before her ascension she also had difficulties to believe in the commander’s spirit. “You won’t need to believe in all of this right away. The needed education will take some time” the commander said wanting to end the conversation. Behind the windows the sun was already tinting the horizon orange so they would only get very little rest before she would be needed again.

Lexa closed her eyes and laid back efficiently ending the conversation. Marie stayed on her side for a few more minutes and closely looked at the older girl. The commander looked completely different that way. Her face clean of all traces of any paint, her brown hair freely framing her face in wild brown locks and her features completely relaxed. It was hard for her to match the commander with the young woman lying next to her in her head.

Lexa was grateful that the walls within the tower were relatively thick and that they were not residing in tents at the moment or she would have had to explain certain noises from Anya and Zora to their charge. It was painfully obvious that the small girl was still completely innocent in this regard and she had seemed baffled to see Zora and Anya kissing each other at all. The commander could not shake a certain train of thought from her mind, were relationships between the same genders frowned upon by Skykru? That would put a new perspective to Clarke’s rejection and gave Lexa a sliver of hope for a second. She was quick to extinguish that hope like you would a small fire, at the time Clarke had spoken of a “not yet” but Lexa knew that after her betrayal of Skykru at the Mountain it would have turned into a “not ever”. She had seen the effects of her betrayal in Marie and she doubted that Clarke would feel any differently. A part of her knew that Clarke’s logical part would understand her decision as another leader and the obligation to her people but Marie also understood that now and it did not completely redeem herself in the girl’s grey eyes and it would not be enough to grant her forgiveness from the blonde leader, wherever she might be at the moment.

Lexa opened her eyes after a few minutes of silent thought still feeling Marie’s eyes on her. She turned her head to face the girl in the relative darkness of the room and the few still flickering candles cast Marie’s face in a play of varying shadows. “Can’t you sleep?” Lexa addressed the girl next to her when Marie just silently met her stare. Marie blinked a few times as if waking from a dazed state and then shrugged her shoulders barely visible in the darkened room. “Not really” Marie whispered after a few more silent moments. Lexa saw how tense the girl was lying next to her and instructed her to turn on her stomach. Marie looked at the commander with a raised brow but followed the instructions silently although turning on the bed caused some discomfort in her hips. Lexa left the bed shortly and returned with a small vial in her hands. Marie watched as the she opened the vial and let a small amount of a liquid drop into her palm and spread the liquid between both of her hands. Her hands emanated a strong smell after herbs and Lexa carefully sat down on the bed next to Marie and said “Bare your back to me”. Marie did as asked and Lexa gently started to massage the oil into Marie’s tensed back. The tattoo had healed over completely and the girl’s back was clear of any other scars leaving soft pale skin behind.

Lexa felt Marie tense even more when she first touched the child’s back but she ignored the slight flinch and carefully kneaded the tense muscles under her fingers. It did not take long for Marie’s body to respond to the gentle administration and Lexa felt Marie relax completely under her touch. When the girl’s eyes started to drop close Lexa made her touches even gentler and not long after the girl’s breathing had evened out completely as sleep gripped her senses. Lexa cleaned her fingers of the strongly smelling oil on a clean rag and covered Marie with a thick fur and carefully lay down next to Marie’s slumbering form as to not wake her up again.

The commander fell asleep quickly after that as well but was also awakened as quickly again as Marie started to toss and turn around in her sleep only an hour later. Lexa blinked her eyes opened when she heard and felt Marie struggling next to her. The candles had burnt out in the meantime and the room was now cast in complete darkness bar a small streak of sunlight which fell through a gap in the curtains. Lexa could barely make out Marie’s face scrunched up in a grimace and the fur had tangled around the girl’s body and she was clearly trying to get rid of its weight. After Lexa had discarded Marie of the fur she quickly gathered her smaller body into an embrace, whispering soothing words into her ear and gently stroking her back the girl soon settled down again in Lexa’s embrace. Lexa pulled a fur over both of them but kept her arms around the girl.

Anya had obviously not exaggerated concerning Marie’s nightmares and Lexa had great difficulties to keep the girl asleep for longer than an hour at a time. The girl always started to turn around as if fleeing from something and moaned pitifully after some time as soon as she left the assurance Lexa’s embrace provided her subconsciousness.

Lexa was bleary-eyed and already felt the twinge of a forming headache behind her eyelids when she decided that it was late enough to stand up and by thus wake Marie up as well. The girl’s grey eyes looked slightly swollen and it was obvious they both had not gotten enough rest for one night. Lexa made a mental note to ask her personal healer for something to help the girl sleep. She knew that there was an herbal remedy that would allow her some rest without the disturbance of any nightmares but she also knew that the remedy was highly addictive and could not be taken constantly. Marie would hopefully learn to cope with her nightmares better over time.

The commander left the bed first and slipped into the bathroom quickly getting ready for the day ahead. Alira came into her quarters just as Lexa finished in the bathroom bringing with her a tray laden with breakfast. The older woman helped the commander quickly don on her full commander regalia and while Lexa already ate the woman pulled her brown locks into her usual intricate braids with well-practiced fingers.

Marie looked as if she had dumped her whole head into the bowl of water and her blonde locks stuck around her throat and face. Her limping was obvious but Lexa had already anticipated that yesterday would have been hard on her not fully healed injuries and had not scheduled any physical training for the girl today.

Alira also helped Marie with braiding her hair without any further probing. Marie sat obediently still as Alira quickly worked her fine blonde hair into a few intricate braids. When Marie finally had enough practise she would be able to re-create the style with relative ease.

Luckily scheduled for today was only a small meeting. Lexa regularly tried to directly listen to the problems of the normal citizens and took time to hear their problems and grievances. The commander was sure that Marie would probably enjoy watching the meeting as many times citizens from all different clans came to speak their complains or simply to speak their minds. As such the meeting presented an excellent opportunity for Marie to observe people from more clans than just from Trikru and to learn some politics as well. Aden, Kato and Thalu would also sit in in the meeting to observe and learn.

After that she had planned to show Marie more of her city while visiting the festivities on the streets. It was doubtful if Anya would be in any condition to join today and she knew how seldom Zora and she saw each other over the span of a year so she would not insist on Anya’s company.

Alira left after she had finished with Marie’s hair and the girl nibbled on a piece of bread, obviously not feeling particularly hungry at the moment. Lexa herself had already finished eating and stuck with a strong tea now giving the girl a bit more time to eat at least a little. Marie looked out of the huge windows from Lexa’s quarters and saw the bright blue clear sky and the curtains gently moved by a chilling breeze. The girl shivered slightly as the breeze picked up. Lexa handed Marie her dark green coat “The weather will get colder soon, Marie. Winter is fast approaching.”

The girl accepted the coat with a slight smile shrugging the piece of clothing on immediately. “Do you have snow here?” Marie suddenly chimed in while Lexa was strapping on her weapons. She felt Marie’s grey eyes intently watching her every move as she slipped various knives into their hidden pockets. As Lexa put the last of her blades in its place she turned back to the girl “Yes, there is usually snow. Some winters are harder than others. The last winter has not been particularly strong, making travel still save, but other winters are harder and traveling becomes dangerous if not impossible.”

“Snow looked really nice in the movie I remember watching with my mother once” Marie mused her face shadowed by the memory momentarily. Lexa snorted “I doubt you will find it “really nice””. “Why?” Marie asked cocking her head in the way she always did while asking questions. “You will see. You have never experienced a winter and I doubt that your film portrayed it accurately” Lexa answered her tongue forming the unfamiliar word with a strange pronunciation. 


	70. Chapter 70

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised the plot would start to built and it will. But I still have to post a few chapters which are still slower as I wrote them several weeks ago.   
> I was pretty productive the last todays and got a record of eight chapters finished and I can promise that some heavy angst is coming up, but it is still some chapters away (I actually cried while writing, never happened to me before ...)  
> I will post the older chapters quickly within the next few days.
> 
> Previously in chapter 69  
> Lexa has Marie stay in her quarters giving Zora and Anya some privacy and experiences how severe Marie's nightmares have become.

Chapter 70

As Lexa had predicted everything was still outside of Anya’s quarters. A tray with untouched breakfast stood beside the door and a pair of guards still stood watch silently. Lexa recognized both of the guards as a part of Trikru and Loran, a young man who had fought as a second with her against Azgeda, asked her if he should wake the general. Lexa immediately shook her head “Let them sleep. When Anya wakes tell her that she can take her time.”

“Won’t there be any training today?” Marie asked confusion colouring her voice as she followed Lexa down the corridor towards the elevator. Lexa shook her head inclining her head down to the girl “You are already limping so we will wait a few days more before we resume your physical training. But you can now accompany me to a meeting and listen in to learn something about politics. You can sit with the oldest nightbloods who will also be there. Afterwards I will need to attend some of the festivities again and can show you around Polis in daylight.”

Marie’s grey eyes shone with joy at the prospect of seeing more of Polis; the girl had already decided that she did not really like sitting in in meetings as they tended to be rather boring. But this meeting truly proved to be different from the meetings Marie had witnessed until now. Aden gave her a gentle smile in greeting after nodding his head to Lexa and the commander urged her to take the free seat next to him. Thalu and Kato only nodded shortly to her and then resumed watching who entered the room. Titus narrowed his eyes at the blonde girl and gave Lexa a dark look for bringing the child with her in the first place but Lexa completely ignored him. “I heard that you nearly match Heda in your skill with throwing knives” Aden said to her in a low voice awe obvious in his eyes. Marie shrugged “I don’t think I am as good as Lexa” her voice clearly portrayed her doubt that she ever would reach such a level at all. The blonde boy narrowed his blue eyes at her as he shot back “You have trained for barely a few weeks. Possessing such a skill already is extremely rare, with enough training you will surely make a great warrior or even general one day.” “You truly think so?” Marie questioned with widened eyes and a slight blush on her pale cheeks. Titus narrowed his eyes even more having stood near enough to the children to caught Aden’s words. Before the bald man could reprimand Aden Lexa cleared her throat and signalled to the guards to let the citizens enter one by one.

Lexa had not told Marie what kind of meeting this was and the girl’s grey eyes blinked in confusion as she took in the appearance of a haggard woman with stringy brown hair. Her body looked thin and her clothes had clearly seen better days and the girl could not make out any visible weapons on her person.

“What brings you here today?” Lexa addressed the woman after a mute nod of acknowledgment. “Heda” the woman answered with reverence in her voice “Bandits are raiding the woods near our village and we have lost most of our reserves for the winter. I am here to plead for some supplies or I am afraid we will not make it through the winter.”

Marie watched silently as she saw fury flash over Lexa’s face momentarily before it was blank again. “You live near the border to Azgeda?” the commander questioned and the woman nodded immediately. “Do you know if the bandits are also Azgeda?” the commander continued her questioning. The woman looked thoughtful for a moment before she answered “We do not know for sure. The bandits retreat over the border into Azgeda territory but we have not seen any markings identifying to what clan they belong.” Lexa nodded with a clenched jaw, she had hoped to have proof of Nia violating the coalition but the queen was slippery and although she thought it unlikely that Nia was unaware of what happened in her kingdom without proof of her knowledge she had nothing to accuse her of.

“How many people reside in your village?” Lexa asked next trying to assess how much supplies the village would need to make it through winter. She knew that the cold season was fast approaching and it would not be long before the first snow now. Closer to the border of Azgeda snow and ice came even earlier making hunting and foraging for food difficult.

“Twenty, Heda” the woman supplied the information willingly “And five under six summers” The commander quickly calculated in her head what the village would need and how much stores Polis could easily share but she also knew that others would need supplies as well. The biggest point in this direction was that she planned to offer aid to Skykru, the clan was still small compared to them and unused to the ways on the earth she highly doubted they would last through winter without any aid.

“Supplies will be organized for your village and a small hunting party can accompany you for a few days to help bring in more game” Lexa proclaimed to the woman who nodded with relief evident on her face.

The meeting continued in the same fashion. People came from different clans and Lexa listened to what grievances they had. She was not able to help all of them this easily. A warrior had come to Polis to complain about how he was treated in the army of the Desert clan. The man at first had said that he was falsely treated poorly no matter what he did. Lexa had intently listened to the young man but something about the way he spoke seemed off somehow. After some well-placed questions the man finally admitted that he had been shunned from the army and he wanted to be taken back in. But it took longer for him to admit that he was probably the only one to blame for this as well. He had obviously hurt a few of his comrades in drunken anger and Lexa told him that such behaviour would not be tolerated in any army. But she still offered him a chance to ask other clans if they were interested to let him fight for them.

“Does she do this often?” Marie whispered to Aden after the fourth speaker had left the throne room. The blonde boy nodded adoration shining in his blue eyes “Heda always takes time to listen to the complaints of all citizens”. “She does not have to do that, right?” Marie probed further. From what she had seen so far Lexa had some power over all the clans and the ultimate power within Trikru and from what she remembered of the few basic history lessons she had had she highly doubted that many leaders were really interested in the problems of the general public. Aden immediately shook his head “No, she does not have to listen to them. But Heda always tells us that a great leader must know what the problems are to be able to work against them.” Marie nodded seeing a new facet of what made Lexa the great leader she obviously was.

Lexa also settled a minor disagreement between two families from two different clans concerning the borders of their properties with ease. Marie noted how it seems that Lexa could come up with a satisfactory solution to nearly all problems. But not all of those who came to speak in front of the commander came to complain, many people had mad the long way to the capitol to thank the commander for finally freeing them of their biggest enemy.

When the meeting finally had ended for the day and all complaints had been listened to Marie beamed up at Lexa “Can I sit in in this one again some time?” Lexa’s eyes softened at the girl’s obvious enthusiasm “I hope you have all learned something” she also addressed the three nightblood novitiates. All of them nodded their heads eagerly, their eyes showing their adoration of her. Titus’ expression was sour and his eyes glinted dangerously but he stayed mute for now.

“Novitiates” he called the children to attention and all three of them immediately nodded their goodbye to the commander and followed behind Titus to re-join the training with the others.

“And now we go to the festivities?” Marie eagerly addressed Lexa after the doors were closed behind Titus and the novitiates. Lexa’s eyes softened at the girl’s open elation. She had not been aware that she had sort of missed the girl’s easily readable joy.

The commander nodded with the ghost of a smile playing around her lips “We can get you fitted for warmer clothes on the market as well while we are outside” she offered Marie a hand to hoist her from the chair.

Gustus and Ryder who had stood just outside the door to the throne room accompanied them into the elevator in silence. As they went down the tower with the elevator the sounds from the streets increased with every level they went further to the ground.

As Lexa had expected the streets were still filled with people intermixed of all different clans. Now that the light of day had returned more children were running through the streets as well. Guards were patrolling the streets with watchful eyes and the commander knew that more guards would be following their small group but they were well trained and not easily spotted, Marie would likely not even notice that they were followed but the extra measure of safety was necessary in such a large crowd. Although the crowd of people seemed to be in high spirit she would be foolish not to anticipate a possible ambush.

The small friendly competitions were still ongoing all over the streets and laughter echoed from the walls of the city. Lexa hoped that now that their common enemy had been conquered they could finally have lasting peace and such a view would repeat itself.

Lexa steered their small group in the direction of the market stalls. They had barely reached the stands of vendors when the first one started to try to offer her samples of his wares for free. Marie was looking around the stalls with widened eyes filled with wonder. Her senses were nearly overwhelmed with all the heavy smells of vendors cooking their various foods over small fires and all the new things to see. Marie had grasped most of Trigedasleng by now and could understand most of all the vendors broadcasting the wares they had to sell. She was unfamiliar with a lot of the words still but her vocabulary was improving fast now that she was in a city where everyone spoke the language.

A woman suddenly approached Marie offering a stick with an unknown piece of food to the girl with a friendly smile. The girl looked unsure for a second looking up to Lexa for reassurance that it was all right to accept the food. Marie eyed the stick a little closer after accepting it into her hand. She had no idea what animal this meat could have been once. Carefully Marie bit of a small chunk from the meat chewing the unfamiliar food with a thoughtful expression. Lexa immediately recognized that the woman came from the boat people and she was selling different types of fishes from the sea. The commander hoped that she could take Marie with her the next time she visited the clan that lived on a platform in the sea.

Marie’s face brightened after she had swallowed the first piece at the taste and she enthusiastically said “Lexa, you need to taste this, it tastes amazing!” Lexa looked down at the girl with a raised brow and shook her head in the negative. Marie’s shoulders dropped immediately and her face fell slightly as she lowered the stick with the rest of the food back down. Lexa huffed under her breath and she leaned down and plucked the stick from the girl’s fingers and took a bite herself. The female vendor was watching the exchange with curious eyes and obviously waited for Lexa’s approval of her wares. Marie was also looking at her expectedly a small smile on her face.

Lexa nodded to the female vendor first in silent thanks and steered Marie away from the stall with a gentle hand on her back and while they walked she said lowly to the girl “It was very tasty, but I would appreciate it, if you kept a low profile.” The girl blinked up at her with grey confused eyes but nodded her mute acknowledgment.

 

Marie’s attention was soon caught back by the different vendors and more tried to offer her samples of food. Her charge now had a bit more self-confidence and accepted the samples with a gracious nod but did not repeat the display from earlier although she was quick to communicate if she liked the food or not. Lexa noted how Marie’s eyes seemed to glow and her face was lightening up with a huge smile as she tasted a small honey cake. The vendor who sold this particular pastry was at the market every day and Lexa still remembered how much Costia had loved the pastries so much that Lexa had taken the time to get her one before her training sessions started when she had still been a nightblood novitiate.

They were joined by Anya when they had just reached a vendor selling warm clothes mostly made in Azgeda. The vendor was an old man who came from Azgeda, one of the few who reached the age that his hair was already greying, and he now had a young boy with him who was obviously to be trained to take over the stall someday.

The general’s eyes were warmer than usual although she looked slightly tired and Lexa highly doubted that Zora and Anya had wasted the bit of time they had together to such trivial things as resting. The old vendor had Marie stand on a small podium to be able to measure the girl without having to bend down so much.

Lexa curtly told the man that she wanted a set of fur-lined light armour for the girl as well as a few warm normal clothes and padded boots. The man nodded his consent and filed through a few piles of clothing articles. He handed Marie a few things to try on but nothing seemed to fit her well enough so he said that he would need to tailor the things the commander wanted. Lexa nodded curtly and told him to have the things delivered to the tower once he was finished and he would be payed justly for his work.

They strolled through the filled streets together. Marie’s grey eyes were still filled with wonder when she let her gaze wander over everything around her, it seemed as if her eyes could not rest on anything for a second. The girl did not even seem to notice how most people stayed still for a moment when they recognized the child as the girl who had fallen from the stars to scrutinize for themselves what could be so special about the girl. A smile was etched on the girl’s features and now that Anya was with them Marie was pointing out all she found interesting to the general with an enthusiastic tone to her voice. Anya indulged the girl and did not quell her enthusiasm. She was internally extremely grateful to see Marie smiling and obviously completely happy at the moment. Lexa felt a slight twinge of pain as she had had to dampen the girl’s spirit before in the same situation as her role as commander made it impossible for her to be so expressive with Marie in public and even a small sliver of envy that Anya was freer to do as she pleased than she probably ever would be.


	71. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have just decided to post all the chapters I had finished a few weeks ago, otherwise it would take too long until I can finally post the newer ones.

Previously in chapter 70

Lexa takes Marie to an open audience for all citizens that have something to tell the commander where Marie meets Aden, Kato and Thalu. Afterwards Lexa takes Marie into the streets of Polis, where the festivities are still ongoing.

 

Chapter 71

Anya had been true with her prediction that the festivities would be going on for several days. It took almost a week until the people slowly started to leave Polis and travel back to their own clans. Marie had been in the streets nearly every day with either Lexa, Anya or both of them and loved every moment of it.

Lexa and Anya had both been careful not to overexert the girl and kept with walking around the streets. Marie had been to the novitiates training whenever Lexa went there but had been restricted to watching from the side-line. The girl’s grey eyes were wide when she watched the group of children spar with each other in a clearing not far from the tower. She was completely baffled when she saw Aden spar with Lexa herself and he was actually holding up and it did not look as if Lexa was holding back. When the blonde boy actually got a hit in Lexa looked most impressed with him.

Marie had taken to switching between sleeping in Anya’s or in Lexa’s quarters and this evening she was with Anya her mood soured by the training session she had watched. Anya had been busy with starting to organize the small army of volunteers who had stayed behind after the mountain and now wanted to serve under the commander only. “Was watching the nightbloods train not to your liking?” Anya asked Marie once they were alone in their quarters, the girl’s sour mood was easily spotted by the woman. Marie had pouted and looked out of the window not answering in words and even going as far as crossing her arms over her chest like a petulant child. Anya rolled her eyes at the recalcitrant child and unfastened her armour putting her sword on a table and laying a dagger under her pillow out of habit. She knew the girl long enough now to know that ignoring her in this mood was better, she would start to talk when she was ready. Anya went around the room and stocked the fire back to life in the fireplace; the air in the evening had become chilling.

When Anya had sat down at the table to eat something Marie stood up from the bed to join her, the pout absent from her face although it was still obvious that something was troubling the girl. “How old is Aden, Anya?” Marie asked. The general scrutinized the girl sitting across from her for a moment before she answered “He has seen thirteen summers, why?” Marie pulled a face and mumbled with drooping shoulders “I will never catch up…” The girl’s voice was laced with frustration as her words trailed off. Anya put her mug of tea down and suppressed another eye roll “We have had the exact same discussion before, Marie. No one expects you to miraculously catch up. You clearly possess some innate talent with throwing knives and a bow, so that will be your main weapons. Now that your injuries have finally healed we will take up your training again, after the hunt.”

“Hunt?” Marie quipped with a frown on her face. She had not been aware there would be a hunt. Anya explained that as a final part of the festivities a few important people from all clans, together with the commander herself would go on a hunt tomorrow at dawn. “We will be back before dusk” Anya assured. Lexa and she had decided that they did not want to risk Marie falling from a horse during the hunt, so the girl would remain in the tower. Lexa had also decided that the nightbloods would not be allowed to join in the hunt as well so Marie could spent the day with them, Titus had only grudgingly agreed to that.

“And you will stay here” Anya concluded her explanation. Marie’s face fell drastically at this new piece of information. Since the failed assassination attempt on Lexa Marie had not been left alone at all, always being either with Anya or Lexa.

“Titus has agreed that you can stay the day with the novitiates under his supervision” Anya did not feel it necessary to say that the bald man had only agreed when Lexa outright ordered him to do just that.

At hearing that Marie’s face fell even more, now that she had spent more time in the company of the novitiates and at various meetings with the commander she had seen how much the man obviously despised her even though he did not know her at all. “No need to look so dejected” Anya commented on her facial expression. Marie crossed her arms over her chest again a pout reappearing on her face “Titus hates me” the girl grumbled under her breath.

Anya sighed heavily not being able to deny that “Then I advise you not to give him any reason for his hate to increase. Once he gets to know you, he will realise that you are no threat to Lexa”. Marie huffed obviously not convinced in the slightest. Not knowing what else to say Anya regarded the matter closed for now and resumed her dinner.

Marie was uncharacteristically silent for the rest of the evening only picking at her food with a sullen mood. Anya knew that trying to cheer the child up would not be fruitful so she picked up the book from the nightstand after they had finished their dinner. They had noticed in the last days that now without aid of the tea Marie had big problems with getting to sleep and reading to the girl helped immensely. Nightmares were still a huge problem as well so long as the girl was allowed to cuddle up to either Anya or Lexa the nightmares were kept at bay but as soon as she rolled away in sleep they emerged immediately in full force.

Dressed in shorts and a loose shirt reserved for sleeping face clean of any paint and hair loose Anya laid down and waited for Marie to join her. The general had ceased every struggle to get the girl to sleep alone in her own bed, she had tried a few days before and had not gotten any sleep that night at all.

Although Anya gladly now served for Lexa in Polis she never felt as at home in the city as she did in the woods. So she looked forward to the hunt and being away from the city for some time at least. Marie quickly snuggled up to Anya under the furs relaxing in her strong arms as her voice lulled her to sleep only a slight time later.

Anya put the book away when she was sure that the child in her arms was really fast asleep. As much as she was personally looking forward and always enjoyed a good hunt as much did she feel unsettled about leaving the girl alone now.

Before dawn a guard knocked at their door arousing Anya immediately. Cautiously Anya extracted herself out of Marie’s grasp without waking the girl in the process. The general tiptoed around the room and dressed herself in her armour. As careful as Anya had been to not make any noise Marie started to turn around in the furs as Anya’s side started to cool down.

Dressed and ready to leave Anya sat down at the edge of the bed and put a hand on the girl’s back as she had turned on her stomach to calm her while her other hand gently glided through the girl’s blond locks. When Marie startled awake a few moments later her eyes were wide and her face settled in a frown as she noticed that Anya was already dressed to leave.

Anya had not doubt that Lexa had spoken to her oldest nightbloods to look out for Marie for the day and as much as Titus might dislike the girl he would also make sure that nothing happened to her. “You will surely have fun today with Saria and Nimo” Anya reassured her charge in a soothing tone. Marie had taken an instant liking to the two novitiates that were closest to her in age. Marie’s mouth pulled into a pout but Anya ignored the girl’s silent attempt at manipulation entirely.

“Do you want to try to sleep some more?” Anya suggested but was already sure to receive a negative answer and immediately the girl shook her head shoving the furs down her body to stand up. “Are the others even up yet?” Marie wondered sullenly at the prospect of being left back.

Anya smirked good-naturedly and gave the girl a gentle nudge “The nightbloods always rise before the sun does to start their first training session, they should return soon from it”. 

The general waited until Marie had quickly gotten washed and dressed for the day to personally escort her to the quarters of the nightbloods. While she waited Lexa joined her already dressed in armour made to blend in with the surroundings of the forest and without her red sash. When Marie returned from the bathroom and noticed Lexa the girl turned her pout to the commander and asked “Can’t I join in the hunt?” the girl’s grey eyes pleading. Anya could spot easily the effect the girl’s demeanour had on Lexa and answered for the commander in a strict tone that signalled the end of the conversation “No, you will stay here in the tower!” The child still looked at Lexa hopeful probably having spotted that the commander would be more easily swayed in the matter but Anya’s next words had the girl cease her pleading immediately “I am sure a guard can stand post in front of this room if it is better to your liking to stay the day here alone” Anya threatened knowing that the girl would never want to be left alone in this room for a complete day. Marie shook her head at once and quickly finished dressing.

Lexa watched the girl move about the room with a slight flash of guilt, it was obvious the girl felt insecure about being left back. But the healers had been quite clear on the fact that it was imperative that the girl did not acquire any kind of new injury to her hip or she might end up paralyzed as they could not say for sure if the holes in her bones were completely closed. Hunting could sometimes get chaotic and the girl did not possess the skill in riding yet she would need to keep up and taking the girl up on her horse would only slow her down.

They escorted Marie to the floor reserved for the nightblood novitiates in silence. The girl’s mood still obviously sullen. Just as they entered the floor did the nightbloods return from their first training session of the day with the exception of Kyla and Ryno who did not yet share all the training sessions of the older novitiates. But the two youngest nightbloods had also been waiting for the rest of the group for breakfast. The novitiates usually ate their meals all together on their floor which was heavily guarded and Titus would return to them once it was time for another lesson or training session.

Lexa greeted all of the children with an honest smile on her face and the novitiates were as happy to see their commander as they always were. Anya could still remember how different the atmosphere was between the previous commander and the group of novitiates to which Lexa had belonged. The man had kept his distance from the children and they all were completely respectful to him, none of them would have smiled at the hard man as these children now did for Lexa. Anya lowly cautioned Marie to behave herself the day and gently nudged the girl to join the other children at the table as the girl had not eaten yet as well.

The commander bid all of them farewell and the children wished them luck for their hunt. Marie was the only one not smiling as she watched Lexa and Anya leave together. The girl’s appetite was next to none existing and she only picked at her food without eating much. Saria, the ten year old nightblood from Delfikru, sat down next to Marie and smiled at her. “Titus said we will have the afternoon to ourselves” the girl proclaimed with a huge exited smile, it was rare for the novitiates to have much free time. Marie shrugged at the girl’s words still not feeling any better and her eyes still hefted to the door Anya and Lexa had left through.

It was the eight year old June who approached Marie next. Even though the girl was still very young, she was perceptive of those around her and easily picked up on the other girl’s sullen mood. “They will both return safely” the dark haired girl promised “And the time will only pass slower if you sulk”.

Nimo, who was nine years old and still a head shorter then June, sat down across from Marie with his trademark lopsided grin “She is right, you know. And after the lessons we will play hide and seek” the boy’s dark eyes were sparkling with mirth at the prospect. “Have you played that before?” Ryno always curious quipped in suddenly. Marie shook her head in the negative, the game was pretty straightforward in its name so she had an idea what the game entailed. But she still asked “How do you play that?” her words had the effect she had hoped for, which was to get the others to talk and stop trying to cheer her up.

“You really never played that?” Nimo double checked with confusion on his face, he had been born in the Glowing Forest, and hide and seek had been his favourite before his blood had been detected and he had been taken to Polis to train. “It is easy” he started to explain as Marie just shook her head “One is appointed to be the seeker. The seeker will have to wait for a defined time span with closed eyes. In this time span the rest hides away. You win if the seeker fails to find you, or if you are the seeker you win when you found all the others”. Marie listened intently to the boy’s words and nodded her understanding “Can you hide wherever you want?” she asked after a moment. Ryno nodded enthusiastically “Yeah and the more creative you are, the harder you are to find”.

Titus interrupted them when he came to collect the group of novitiates for their next lesson. The bald man narrowed his eyes for a moment at Marie who immediately lowered her eyes and looked at the floor the slight smile wiped from her face completely.  

The group of children immediately scrambled to follow their teacher in silence, even the smallest once knowing no to antagonize the bald man on purpose. Marie mutely walked next to Nimo her head ducked low trying not to garner the attention of Titus if avoidable.

The flamekeeper escorted the novitiates and Marie into a room on another floor of the tower. It looked to be a library of sort, with shelves filled with various books lining the walls. A few tables and chairs were placed in another corner of the huge room and the children all took their usual places at the tables, Saria guiding Marie with her and offering her a chair at her table. Marie gave the other girl a grateful smile and waited what would happen now. She had never accompanied the nightbloods to lessons not held by Lex herself and Titus was making her uneasy.

The lesson dealt with the history of the clans after the bombs had destroyed the former world. Marie listened intently to Titus words. She had had some minor history lessons on the Ark but they had still dealt with the history long before the bombs fell.

Marie learned that in the first years after the bombs fell there had been many more clans, most smaller and vastly distributed through the ruins of the old world. Over time clans had either banded together or been conquered by stronger clans in battle to form the clans as they were existing now. All in all Marie found the lesson much more interesting than she had anticipated.

Afterwards Titus taught the nightblood children English. As it was the language of the warriors it was imperative that every commander knew it. This part of the lesson seemed to trudge on forever for Marie and she had difficulties with remaining still on her seat out of boredom. She had grown up with the language so she knew everything Titus was teaching of course. The oldest nightbloods were also fluent in English but they had better patience in repeating lessons, they had long learned and waiting for the younger ones to catch up to their skill.

After what felt like hours to Marie Titus finally announced that they would be brought back to their quarters to have a quick lunch now. Marie’s stomach had started to rumble from hunger quite some time ago not having eaten much at all at breakfast.

Lunch war really quick and Titus soon returned to bring them back to the library. Marie silently wondered why they had not just eaten in the library. Lowly she asked Nymo who was walking next to her. The Asian looking boy shrugged his shoulders “It is always done that way” was his only verbal answer.


	72. Chapter 72

Previously in chapter 71

Anya and Lexa leave to hunt and Marie has to spent the day with the novitiates under Titus supervision.

 

Chapter 72

Back in the library the children took a seat in their places and Titus resumed teaching. This lesson now was a writing practise. Marie was pleased to see that they were practising in Trigedasleng so she was able to really practise now as well. Titus completely ignored the presence of the girl all together as he made his rounds through the rows of children checking their spellings. He just went by Marie’s chair as if she was invisible not sparing the girl a glance at all. Marie clenched her teeth silently, she would have liked for someone to check for her spelling but she could envision Titus’ reaction if she were to ask for help.

The lesson went over relatively quickly and Titus let them go with the order to return to their quarters. The others were way more cheerful now, as that had obviously been the sign that they now had the rest of the day free.

The others all knew that it would be some time until dinner so they wanted to play the first round of hide and seek already. Marie nodded eagerly glad to finally move again after having sat still for most of the day.

Aden would be the first one to be the seeker and Marie together with the other children scrambled away once the blonde boy started to loudly count. Marie quickly went through the nightbloods quarters noticing that the rooms spread over the whole floor. There were so many places to hide that Marie found it difficult to decide where to go.

Her decision was cut short when she could hear faint footsteps walking down the corridor in her direction. Quickly the girl opened the door to the balcony and just hid behind the wall after closing the door behind her.

Her hiding place proved to be not so well as Aden found her very quickly. Fortunately for Marie Nymo who had trailed behind her had been found even earlier so she would not have to be the next seeker. Aden was obviously very good at the game and found each and every one after only a slight amount of time.

This time Marie left in the other direction and her steps guided her to the corridor leading to the elevator. A shift of guards was obviously taking place right now and the previous guards were just stepping into the elevator. Marie quickened her pace and entered the elevator just before the doors glided closed. The guards barely spared the girl any attention and the elevator seemed to stop every floor to let in another batch of guards. After six floors Marie had enough and slipped from the elevator into an unknown floor.

As on every floor guards were lining the hall in front of the elevator. But the three guards who stood post on this floor seemed caught up in an argument between themselves. They had not even looked up when the elevator opened on their floor. Quietly Marie strode to the first door in sight and slipped into the next corridor, she doubted the guards had taken any notice of her.

When she heard footsteps louder this time echoing through the hall she had just left Marie quickened her pace thinking that maybe Nymo had already caught up with her.

The girl hastened around a corner and promptly collided with someone. The force of the impact made her stumble in her steps and she would have fallen over if the one she had run into had not reacted quickly and steadied her.

The stranger let his hand fall away when the girl had regained her footing. Marie looked up with slightly pink tinged cheeks apologizing immediately “I am sorry. I had not seen you” the girl’s words were honest but her eyes widened when she took in the features of the man she had run into. Marie looked up into piercing blue eyes framed by thick facial scars that immediately identified the man as Azgeda. Thick brown locks nestled around his face obscuring some of the scars.

The man’s eyes seemed to burn into hers for a moment before he casually said “Would have been hard to see me around the corner with the speed you were running”. Marie quickly let her mouth close with a quite snap her eyes seemed to be drawn to the scars on his face.

When she heard footsteps again Marie inched away from the man trying to look behind him for a door to hide behind.

“What are you doing on this floor?” the man asked in a casual tone his face neutral as he blocked the girl’s path. “I am playing hide and seek” Marie quickly explained. The man’s eyebrows rose in confusion “Hide and seek?” he echoed with a dubious note to his voice. “Yeah, with the novitiates” Marie elaborated carefully unsure if talking to the man was save. As Marie turned her head back to hear for the footsteps from the other side of the room her hair fell over her shoulder revealing the sign of the commander tattooed into her skin. The man’s eyes flashed with recognition and he offered “You can hide in my room. I am sure no one will be searching for you there”. Marie was biting her lip obviously unsure if to accept the offer or better to deny but as the footsteps got louder behind her and the man held open a door that had been obscured behind him Marie blew caution to the wind and quickly ducked under the man’s arm into the room.

The room was sparsely furnished with a narrow bed laden with a few furs, a small trunk stood in front of the bed and a small table with two stools stood in another corner of the room. A door on the other side of the room probably led outside to a balcony.

Marie stood awkwardly in the middle of the room unsure if she should just turn around and leave again. The man sensed the girl’s obvious hesitation and poured a mug of water from a jug on the table offering the mug to the child with an open kind expression on his face.

Marie cautiously accepted the mug of water and drunk a sip from the cool liquid as her eyes kept on darting to the door.

The man purposefully kept his face neutral as he addressed the girl in a kind tone “I have failed to introduce myself to you. I am Roan” Marie looked at Roan with big grey eyes trying to judge if the man had any ulterior motives to be kind to her.

“I am ...” she tried to reciprocate the introduction but Roan smirked at the girl “You are Marie, second to the commander. Everyone in Polis knows who you are” he assured her.

Marie narrowed her eyes at the man sitting casually across from her as she still stood in the middle of the room.

The man needed some time to break the undeniable tension between them but in the end Marie gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed. Roan asked her about living with the stars. Marie was already used to people being curious of her origins and she voluntarily supplied him with the information he wanted to have.

Marie barely registered how the time passed. Roan seemed intrigued by the way of life they had had on the Ark.

She had long ago relaxed on the bed having her legs crossed on the lumpy mattress and animatedly describing how they had landed on earth.

A cool breath wafted through the room from a crack in the window and Marie noticed with a furrowed brow that the sun was already setting having all but vanished from the horizon. “Anya said there will be snow soon” Marie said after a moment of silence.

“You have probably never seen snow before?” Roan mussed. His mother had sent a message to him by the Azgeda representatives during the festivities. The woman was sure that Ontari was ready to take over the coalition and wanted to know any possible weaknesses they could use to strike against the commander. He had hoped speaking with the commander’s second would offer him a chance to find such a weakness. But somehow he had taken an instant liking to the child it was obvious that she was good-natured and she was extremely expressive in her emotions, she was somehow purer and definitely softer than the children who had grown up on the ground.

Even though Roan wished for nothing more than to be able to leave Polis and return to Azgeda for very personal reasons he doubted that Ontari as the commander would be a good thing. Ontari would be nothing more than a mere puppet of his mother. After all the time he had been forced to spent in Polis Roan knew first-hand how much the people of Polis loved Lexa kom Trikru as their commander. In addition he had to silently admit that he could understand that, Lexa was a good commander, the first commander who ever regarded all the clans as equally important and did not just care for her own clan to thrive.

The girl confirmed that she had never seen snow before and was obviously curious about what snow was like. Roan tried his best to describe how the air seemed to even smell purer just after fresh snow had fallen. He retold the experiences he had made as a child when he was seldom allowed to play in it before the lasting frost came and turned the beautiful white snow into deathly ice plans. He did not speak to the girl of the dangers and biting cold accompanied by the winter in Azgeda. The territory of Azgeda stretched far into the north where the snow never melted the whole year.

Marie completely had forgotten the time and when she started to jaw and noticed that it was now truly dark outside her face fell noticeably. “What is it?” Roan asked the girl. “Anya had said they would return before dawn” Marie said looking sullen again. “A hunt can easily take longer than predicted” Roan assured the girl’s obvious worry.

“I guess you should return to your quarters then” Roan suggested. Marie’s face fell even more at the prospect of spending the night alone worry taking over her mind that something might have happened. Roan graciously offered “You can always stay here until the commander and her general return”. “For just a little bit?” Marie requested. Roan nodded “You wanted to hear about the ice bears, did you not?” Marie immediately nodded and listened to Roan’s melodic deep voice. As the man’s narration kept going on his voice started to lull the girl to sleep.

Unbeknown to Marie the group of nightbloods were in uproar. They had kept on searching for the blonde girl for hours but as the sun finally set they were pretty sure that they had searched their complete floor at least twice and there was no trace of Marie to be found.

Anya and Lexa returned after a fruitful hunt long after dawn. Both of them were grimy from the long hunt and exhausted but Anya was instantly wide awake when she found her quarters empty with no sign of Marie ever having been in the room at all.

The general went over to the commander’s quarters and entered without knocking hoping against hope that Marie might have waited in Lexa’s quarters. The commander shrugged out of her coat and whirled around at the sound of her door opening sword already in hand.

Anya quickly looked around the room a feeling of panic settling deep into her bones “Marie was not in my quarters” she simply stated and Lexa instantly showed alertness.

“Maybe she stayed with the novitiates?” Lexa suggested already moving back to the door to go looking for Marie.

When they reached the floor that housed the nightblood novitiates they were met by Aden, Kato and Thalu. All three of them looked as if they had just been caught doing something wrong. “Why are you not in your beds?” Lexa immediately asked in a strict tone.

It was Aden who answered her “We are looking for Marie” his voice sounded awfully guilty and Anya felt her heart drop as Lexa seemed to freeze for a moment. “What do you mean looking for her?” Lexa demanded to know her voice sharp.

Aden gulped visibly they were not often confronted with Lexa’s ire “We have been playing hide and seek, but we cannot find her”. “When have you last seen her?” Anya interjected with urgency in her voice. Aden looked even guiltier as he said “Since before dinner…” The general silently concluded that that had been over six hours ago, the girl could be everywhere after this time.

“We searched through the whole floor three times” Thalu lowly quipped in “She might not have known that we only played on this floor.”

“You all go straight to bed” Lexa commander sharply she knew that if the novitiates had not found Marie on this floor than she simply was not on this floor anymore.

“Who was on duty here through the day?” the commander went over to the guards posted at the elevator and quickly questioned them. The men sent them to the guard house and there Lexa questioned around until they at least knew for sure that the girl had probably slipped into the elevator during a guard shift that only happened at this time simultaneously on the top ten floors of the tower. The guards which had been posted around the entrances of the tower had not seen the girl leave the tower so she would be somewhere within the top ten floors.

Titus had been summoned by Lexa to ask why he had not told guards to look for her second only to hear that flamekeeper did not even know the girl was missing at all. She angrily sent him away, she had trusted Titus to supervise her together with the novitiates and now the girl was missing.

Anya had stayed in the guard house and assembled a few guards to help looking for Marie. Although the guards at the entrances had said they had not seen the girl leave did not mean that someone might have paid them enough money to make them look away.

It was obvious that both Lexa and Anya were deeply worried as they returned to the tower to help searching the ten floors. Gustus waited for them at the elevator as he had heard that Marie was missing and wanted to help.

They had searched three floors and had found absolutely no sign of the girl and waited for the elevator to take them to the next floor. “What if she was taken?” Anya finally voiced the fearful thoughts that had plagued her. “We will find her” Lexa assured with a confidence belied by the uncertain expression in her green eyes.

Next they searched in the floor housing a few political prisoners. Roan had already heard the commotion on the floor as the guards were questioned and he stood in front of his door with his arms crossed over his chest. Marie still slept soundly in his bed.

“Have you lost something?” Roan asked in a meaningful voice. He could see both Anya’s and Lexa’s face darkening at his question. Lexa’s hand tightened on the handle of her dagger while Anya strode up to him “What have you done to her?”

 Roan shook his head holding his hands up in surrender “Nothing” he said placating “I have only kept her company. She is unharmed” with that he opened the door to his room. Anya rushed into the door before it had swung open and found the girl lying under furs in the small bed. Roan had obviously stayed sitting at the table and had let the girl sleep. Lexa had Roan pressed against the doorframe a dagger against his throat. “I have not kept her here against her will” Roan claimed immediately.

Anya shoved the furs from the girl’s body and gently took the sleeping girl up in her arms. Lexa’s eyes were still burning into Roan’s as she let the dagger sink down again. “We will speak about that later” Lexa proclaimed firmly.

Although Anya was relived to feel for herself that Marie was well anger flared up in her chest. She could not understand under which circumstances Marie might have landed with the prince of Azgeda. Marie started to stir just as Anya placed the girl down on the bed of their quarters, Lexa had mutely followed the woman into the room.

“You are back” Marie mumbled sleepily rubbing at her eyes relieve obvious. Lexa nodded while Anya clenched her teeth “Why were you with the prince of Azgeda, Marie?” the commander questioned sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Prince of Azgeda?” Marie asked back her brow furrowed “He had just said his name is Roan”.

Anya huffed irritated at the answer. “What have you spoken about?” Lexa wanted to know. “He was interested in living on the Ark, like everyone always is” Marie added quickly seeing Anya’s expression darken even more “And he told me about snow and living in Azgeda”.

“Have you learned nothing?!” Anya thundered suddenly making the girl jump at her tone. “After what has happened with Arla, you should know better!” the general continued to rant endlessly. The girl got smaller and smaller on the bed as Anya’s voice thundered through the room. She was soon crying her shoulders shaking but Anya seemed to take no notice of the impact her ranting had.

“Anya” Lexa intervened after a few minutes her voice sharp and Anya instantly fell silent. “He … he … I … have … not …s…said … anything” the girl sobbed out between tears. Lexa tried to soothe the girl as Anya poured herself a mug of water to cool off her temper.


	73. Chapter 73

Previously in chapter 72

Marie plays hide and seek with the novitiates and ends up with Roan spending the rest of the day in his room. Lexa and Anya are worried when they cannot find the girl and Anya gets angry at Marie for trusting Roan so blindly.

 

Chapter 73

Tears were still rolling down Marie’s cheeks as Anya gulped down the mug of water to extinguish the burning anger flaring through her veins. She had been so worried that something had happened to the girl and finding her asleep in the bed of none other than prince Roan of Azgeda had flared an irrational anger inside of her.

Marie’s eyes were huge and her sobs echoed through the room. Lexa had sat down next to the girl and wiped the tears from her cheeks with gentle fingers and kind eyes soothing the girl under her breath. Anya’s anger had quite obviously frightened the child and it was clear she did not understand the source of her mentor’s anger to begin with.

She doubted Marie was a child that would respond well to words spoken to her in anger Lexa was sure speaking with the girl in a calm demeanour and explaining the reasons for their anger would be more fruitful. Lexa had rarely seen Anya lose her composure like she just had but it only showed how deeply the woman obviously cared for Marie.

Anya’s eyes still blazed angrily as she turned around back to face them and with a mute huff the woman stormed from the room without another word. Marie looked back after her mentor blinking her eyes in confusion. Lexa just sighed positive that Anya would return when she had cooled off probably after destroying something on the training field which would be deserted at this time of the night.

The commander stood up from the bed and offered a hand to Marie to help her up “It might take some time before Anya returns. It is late, you can sleep in my quarters for now” she offered. Marie hesitantly took the offered hand letting Lexa lead her from the room “I did not mean to make her angry…” the girl said as she followed Lexa down the corridor looking back to the elevator now and then.

“Hush” Lexa said with the ghost of a smile tilting at her lips “We will talk about this tomorrow. All that matters now is that you are safe”. Guards opened the door to the commander’s quarters and Lexa nudged Marie to lay down on the bed telling her that she would quickly wash up. She would take a bath in the morning when there was more time but she desperately needed to get out of the grimy and still clammy clothes.

Marie had laid down under the furs obediently when Lexa returned from the bathroom the girl was rolled together tightly into a small shaking lump after furs. Lexa sighed as the shaking clearly indicated that the child was still crying. Lexa felt exhausted and honestly just wanted to sleep so she laid down next to the girl and simply pulled her smaller body against herself. Marie wound her arms around Lexa immediately and the commander did not have to say anything at all carding her fingers gently through the girl’s hair was enough and Marie drifted off to sleep a few moments later.

Lexa startles awake to the soft sound of the door to her quarters being opened and closed cautiously, she is instantly alert as her fingers search for the dagger under her pillow. Marie is still lying cuddled up to her and has not woken yet. She had the dagger ready to defend both of them in her fingers when Anya comes into her line of sight. Through the dimly lit-up room Lexa can make out that the other woman has also changed out of her armour and her steps were near silent because she was barefoot. Lexa lets the dagger slide back under the pillow and lets the tension drain from her body, she nods to Anya once and notices how her features are edged with worry and other emotions she cannot quiet pin down at the moment as she stares down at the girl curled against Lexa. Careful not to wake Marie Lexa manoeuvred out under her arms and slipped from the bed.

Anya took her cue and followed Lexa to the other side of the long room where a fire is still burning low in a fireplace in front of a sofa and two big comfy armchairs. Being more in the light Lexa could see that the anger had all but faded completely from Anya’s expression but she was perplexed to notice fear in its stead.

Lexa sat down on one of the armchairs crossing her legs over each other casually and simply looked at Anya calmly waiting for her former mentor to tell her what was obviously bothering her so much. Anya was clearly agitated as she sat down on the armchair across from Lexa a few moments later running her fingers through her hair in an uncharacteristically movement.

Anya remained silent for another seemingly endless stretch of time before she finally grumbled “I am afraid of losing her…” her words trailed off with a grimace edged into her features as if voicing them out loud had hurt her physically.

“Are you not allowed to be?” Lexa questioned lowly in an even tone without any judgement to it. Anya huffed “She is our second, but it feels as if she is …”

“…more?” Lexa supplied knowingly noting how her former mentor had included herself in the statement as Anya nodded her brown eyes were stormy with emotion. After a moment the commander sighed into the heavy silence that had filled the space between them “I guess she was always more than just a second to you right from the beginning” Lexa said. Anya met her green eyes stare with narrowed eyes as Lexa smirked “You would not have volunteered to take her on as your second if you had not felt some kind of connection to Marie”. “Possibly” Anya begrudgingly admitted “but there had still been Tris. Seeing Tris die has hurt more than I care to admit and just thinking about finding Marie dead hurts even more…” Lexa tried to give Anya a reassuring smile but it felt forced even to herself because she knew that she could not make a promise that would reassure Anya but she still spoke the words “We will just have to try to protect her then.” Anya’s brown eyes reconnected with hers as if to echo “Really?” with a teasing smirk the atmosphere lighter around them again. Lexa sighed audibly “That is all we can do” and her former mentor nodded and Lexa could see her reigning in her emotions once more her face becoming less expressive again as the woman straightened her back. Anya was still dressed in the grimy clothes from the hunt so she retreated to her own quarters even though Lexa softly offered for the other woman to stay in the commander’s quarters.

When Lexa stepped back to the bed she was met with a pair of grey eyes staring intently at her. “How much have you heard?” Lexa simply asked the girl as she laid down next to her again. Marie was chewing on her lip as she questioned Lexa completely ignoring the question she had been asked “Anya was angry because she was worried that something had happened to me?” wonder was evident in the girl’s voice and Lexa barely suppressed a snort in response. “Of course” Lexa answered calmly “She cares deeply for you” she added and as she gently pushed a blonde lock away from the girl’s face she said as an afterthought “We both do…”

Marie’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears as she repulsively threw her arms around Lexa’s form hugging the woman tightly. Lexa smiled into the girl’s blonde hair as she laid her chin on top of her head “Sleep, Marie. It will be dawn soon”.

Lexa had been corrected and all too soon the sun rose again starting another day. Anya barged into the commander’s quarters just as Lexa had entangled herself from Marie who had just huffed and turned around pulling a fur high over her head to block out the light. Her former mentor must have woken long before them as she was already scrubbed clean from the grim of the hunt. Lexa passed by Anya and quickly told a guard on the corridor to send for handmaidens to prepare a bath when she returned she addressed the other woman telling her Marie had heard what they had spoken about the previous night. Anya sighed non-audibly as she would have clearly preferred it otherwise.

Marie had set up in the bed catching the hint that she would not get the chance to continue to sleep. Her eyes still looked slightly puffy probably from a mixture of exhaustion and crying. Anya looked visibly calmer compared to the turmoil obvious on her face in the previous night.

“Are you still angry with me?” Marie asked in an almost non-audible way looking even smaller and younger all of a sudden as she gazed up at Anya. Lexa could see Anya’s jaw tightening as she ground her teeth together even though her eyes softened minutely.

“Why don’t you explain to both of us how you ended up in prince Roan’s quarters?” Lexa proposed wanting to intervene before Anya got hot-headed again. She had no intention of seeing a repetition of last night.

Marie seemed to gulp once before she straightened herself as she looked up at both of them with honest eyes “The novitiates said we would play hide and seek after lunch” Marie narrated “I had never played that. Ryno said we could hide wherever we want. I did not know just on their level…” the girl’s words trailed off riddled with guilt.

“And how did you end up with Roan?” Lexa asked again. She had already gathered what Marie had just said from the worried words Aden had told them last night as they searched for the child.

“I just searched for a better place to hide” Marie started again twisting her fingers nervously “The elevator opened and I just slipped in and left again after a few floors…” the girl continued “and the guards on the floor were arguing, I don’t think they saw me and I just went into the first door I could find. I heard footsteps behind me so I hurried and as I turned a corner I ran into him…” the girl’s words trailed off again.

Anya seemed to have problems to reign in her temper but Lexa was unsure if she was angry at Marie or at the guards who had obviously not payed any attention to their duty.

“And you thought it a good idea to go with him?” Anya sneered down at the girl which immediately made Marie wince.

“I…I did not really…” the girl stuttered under Anya’s scrutinizing stare “He offered that I could hide in his room” she finally settled on even though Marie had to admit that even to her own ears that did not sound like a valid reason.

Anya suppressed a growl out of anger bringing out through clenched teeth “Have your parents not taught you to not trust strangers?!” the woman’s tone was sharp.

Marie shook her head with a guilty expression on her face. Lexa looked at the girl trying to assess if she spoke true, no child would usually trust a stranger from another clan this easily, but as she thought about the situation on the Ark she doubted that had been any need to caution their children in this regard. Anya seemed to have come to the same silent confusion as she pinched the bridge of her nose in agitation, keeping the girl save was getting harder by the day.

“And what have you talked about?” Lexa wanted to know next hoping that the girl had been at least cautious with her words. Marie instantly replied “He wanted to know about living in the sky, like everyone else. And later he told me about living in the snow and ice”.

“Did you talk about me?” the commander questioned to what Marie immediately shook her head in the negative “about the Mountain?” another shake of the girl’s head. Lexa nodded in acceptance of the answers just as the door to her quarters swung open and Titus glided into the room. As her old teacher spotted Marie sitting in the bed she noticed a flash of disappointment before he masked his emotions. She narrowed her eyes at the bald man not absolutely convinced that he might have hoped that Marie somehow disappeared if he looked the other way.

Anya had crossed her arms over her chest nonchalantly and openly glared at the man and Lexa was sure her former mentor was having similar thoughts.

“Heda” Titus addressed her formally “Prince Roan is asking for an audience”. Although his tone did not betray his feelings on the matter Lexa could detect his doubt to Roan’s intention in the man’s eyes as Lexa raised an eyebrow at the man in question. The man had no doubt heard that Marie was found within the prince’s quarters.

Lexa finally nodded as handmaidens entered the room carrying buckets with water into the bathroom “Tell him that I will see him in two candlemarks in the throne room”. The bald man opened his mouth as if to argue with her obviously thought better of it and mutely nodded dismissing himself from the room.

Anya watched the man retreat glaring at his bald head as he disappeared from the room and she turned to Lexa after the doors had closed again “Let me be there when you tell him that he will have to teach Marie”. The commander shook her head at her previous mentor with fond amusement and excused herself to the bathroom. 

After both Lexa and Marie had gotten ready for the day and all three of them had shared a quick breakfast in the commander’s quarters they made their way to the throne room together as Lexa wanted Marie present for the audience with Roan.

Roan was already waiting for them in the throne room when the doors were opened for Lexa. The man was flanked by guards and he was not visibly armed.

Marie had somehow found an innate trust to the man the night before and tentatively smiled at him. When Anya noticed that she growled under her breath in warning and Marie immediately lowered her eyes to the floor with a guilty expression. Roan had met Marie’s eyes with a kind and open expression which immediately closed off in reaction to the general’s growl. Lexa kept her own face carefully blank while Anya openly glared at the man with unveiled distrust.

“To the kid’s defence” Roan started surprising both women with his opening words “she had not wanted to stay with me at all at first”. Lexa raised a questioning brow at the prince after she had sat down on her throne and as Anya opened her mouth to speak the commander shook her head immediately silencing the general “And has she told you anything useful?” They all knew that Lexa meant information useful against herself and the accusation that he had tried to gather some from Marie hanging in the air between them.

“No” the prince simply said looking at the girl minutely who still had her grey eyed stare glued to the tiled floor “Although I do not deny that I had the intention to get useful information from her”. Marie’s eyes snapped up at his words and he could easily detect the betrayal the girl felt in them. Anya’s fingers tightened around the handle of her dagger as she pushed down the urge to slit the man’s throat with it for his attempt to use Marie in such a way again.

The commander stared down at the prince of Azgeda with a calculating stare trying to judge if the man spoke true but her intuition seemed to agree that he had not lied. Which brought the question up as to why the man had asked for an audience as she doubted he would have gone to all the trouble to tell them that he had somehow tried to manipulate their second unsuccessfully.  She simply opted to wait until the prince would say for what he had come here.

Roan had watched the guards posted around the room and in front of it noticing that all were loyal Trikru so he started to speak again “I have asked for this audience to strike a deal”.

Lexa just dipped her chin indicating for the man to continue. Roan had hoped to be able to read at least a willingness to make a deal with him but he could not read a single thing from the commander’s stony blank face and the general was not much better only showing distrust and probably a thirst to kill him on the spot.

“I have information that you will find most useful” Roan boldly stated not bending under the commander’s unnerving stare. “Of what nature?” Lexa questioned her tone nonchalant. “Of something my mother keeps hidden from you” the man answered his eyes daring “Something which might end your legacy”. Lexa’s face remained blank as she processed the words although her mind was in turmoil. What could Nia be hiding that would threaten her legacy?

“And what do you desire in return?” the commander asked after a meaningful tense silence. Roan exhaled audibly before he answered “I need to return to Azgeda”. His statement was only met with a raised brow from the commander clearly not impressed with his demand. His exile from Azgeda had been part of Nia’s surrender to the coalition and she would not lift it without good reason.

 

“I cannot challenge my mother from Polis” Roan finally elaborated and when no reaction came from the commander he added through clenched teeth “Or have her somehow summoned here so that I can state my challenge”.

Lexa slightly cocked her head “And why do you desire to raise as king of Azgeda?”

It was obvious that Roan was battling against his own temper he had obviously thought the commander would be easier to bargain with “Azgeda could thrive in the coalition” was all he was willing to say.

“And you don’t think Azgeda will do so under your mother?” Lexa questioned in a calm voice.

Roan could not suppress the snort from escaping “We both know that my mother is just waiting for an excuse to reject the coalition”

Lexa simply nodded her head in agreement at the statement “And you would not?” her eyes were burning into his daring him to lie.

The man’s eyes flitted over to the girl standing slightly behind Anya for a moment before he proclaimed “No, I would not.” The commander believed although she was itching to know how Marie had somehow influenced the man’s decision, something told her that the hours he had spent with her last night had led to him now standing in front of her.

“If I find your information as useful as you claim” Lexa carefully stated seeing hope flicker in the blue eyes of the prince “you may have your deal”.


	74. Chapter 74

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted multiple chapters at once, so if you just skipped to the last, you might need to go back a few chapters.
> 
> And Marie finally gets a little fury friend =)

Previously in chapter 73

Anya has to recognize how deeply she cares for Marie after the fright of fearing for her life. Lexa soothes the girl in the night and Roan requests an audience proposing a deal with the commander.

 

Chapter 74

The commander had dismissed Roan soon after his audience. Her mind was racing with thoughts. If what Roan claimed proofed to be true she desperately needed to find Clarke.

Anya’s lips had been pressed together with more force with every word the prince had said. “Do you believe him?” the general turned to Lexa after the doors of the throne room had been closed behind the prince of Azgeda.

Lexa nodded her green eyes reflecting the storm of thoughts in her head “If he really wants to enthrone his mother and become king it would not be in his interest to lie to me”.

“Why is it so bad if Azgeda has a nightblood?” Marie quipped in having picked up on the tenseness in Lexa and Anya but not understanding where the problem was really.

“When I united all clans together as one coalition it was agreed upon that all nightblood children would be brought to Polis and be taught here” Lexa explained the girl’s question.

“The Azgeda nightblood would be nothing more than Nia’s puppet” Anya added “The coalition would fall apart and Azgeda would try to rule over all the other clans”.

“So you will bring the nightblood to Polis to train?” Marie questioned after she nodded with a contemplative expression.

Both Anya and Lexa looked mildly shocked at the innocent question as both their instincts had told them to send assassins before the nightblood could become a threat to Lexa’s position as commander. “I do not know yet, Marie” Lexa settled on a truthful answer.

“Calling the nightblood here is risky” Anya commented after a moment of silence and she waited another moment before she added “If Nia somehow got Wanheda’s power…”

Lexa seemed to stiffen but she nodded to her old mentor’s words as she knew them to be true. If the queen of Azgeda had Clarke the clans would all back her up if she were to challenge the commander.

“Have the scouts found traces of Wanheda?” Lexa asked after another moment of contemplation. She had ordered scouts to subtly look for Clarke. The commander knew that sending to many people to search the blonde Sky leader would only lead to calling more attention to Clarke. The other clans would think that she also wanted to find Wanheda for her power and not to make sure the blonde girl survived. Her blue eyes filled with accusation and betrayal flickered before Lexa’s vision momentarily.

Another thing nagged at her mind. If she were to die soon and Azgeda rose to power she knew without a single shred of doubt that Nia would never work with Skykru but rather eliminate the whole clan as her first show of power which would also include Marie. She needed to secure an alliance with Skykru and not just the flimsy ceasefire that was still intact after the Mountain.

“We will travel to TonDC” Lexa suddenly announced. Anya nodded “But is leaving Polis so soon wise?” The corners of Lexa’s mouth pulled up slightly “Nia cannot challenge me, if I am not there”.

Anya had an answering smirk on her face while Marie just watched their exchange “Titus will definitely not like that” the general noted with an undertone of glee in her voice. Lexa subtly rolled her eyes “He cannot object to me wanting to see how the rebuilding progresses”.

The commander had met with Titus shortly after that while Marie accompanied Anya to the guard house assembling a small party that would travel with them. Anya also organized with vendors to pack together supplies needed for the upcoming winter that the commander intended to gift to TonDC and offer to Skykru. The general also sent a messenger ahead of them to Indra informing the chief of TonDC that the commander would arrive in the next days. Indra had sent regular messengers with updates on the rebuilding and also included that a tentative contact between TonDC and Skykru remained.

Titus was as Anya had predicted not pleased with Lexa’s plan to travel to TonDC. The commander kept the fact that she also planned to make contact with Skykru to speak about a more lasting alliance to herself. She also ordered Titus to send a few spies into Nia’s rank and to find out what they could about the girl the queen kept always close to herself as Roan had told them. Titus had wanted to know why she was interested in the girl but Lexa had just told him that she had her reasons, somehow unwilling to engage him just yet. She was sure her former mentor would immediately want to eliminate the girl but Lexa wanted to know for sure if it might be an option to bring her to Polis and train her as her blood demanded. She could still hear his tirade after her conclave where she had chosen to let Luna escape without having warriors hunt her down and kill her she doubted his attitude would have changed yet.

The preparations for their journey took a full day. Roan had asked for another audience but the commander had denied to see him again just sending a guard back telling him that “it takes as long as it takes”. Marie was excited to start their journey after Anya had told her that she would be getting a horse for herself at least for part of the way. She had not been on a horse since before the Mountain and was nearly buzzing with energy as she waited for Lexa and Anya to finish dressing for the travel.

Marie’s warmer clothes had been delivered to the tower just the day prior and the girl was now dressed in warmer fur-lined boots and had a heavy coat draped over her shoulders. Anya had braided the girl’s blond hair for her in the morning and included a few metal beads in her braids that had dark blue stones imbedded in them.

Lexa had shortly spoken with her novitiates telling them that she would be away from Polis for a few days. All of them wished her luck for their travels and to return safely. She had just given a few last minutes instructions to Titus who would remain behind in Polis to handle the everyday meetings in her absence.

Anya and Marie were waiting for the commander to join them at the stables. The general had presented their second with a hazelnut brown mare that was known to be as meek as a lamb so the horse should be easily manageable for the girl. Marie stood at the horse’s head and was gently running her gloved fingers over its muzzle to which the horse neighed in obvious appreciation.

“How long can speaking with Titus take?” Marie grumbled obviously annoyed with the prolonged wait to Anya. Anya narrowed her eyes looking down at the girl while Gustus and Ryder who stood nearby and watched the exchange both had a smirk on their faces, both of them had grown to like the blonde girl.

Marie chose to watch the horse more closely as she noticed Anya’s disapproving glare. The situation was dissolved as the commander joined their party with quick purposeful strides her coat and red sash swinging behind her.

“Mount up” the commander addressed all the members of their small group as she accepted the reigns of her black mare from a young boy who was probably learning at the stables. Anya crouched down next to Marie quickly offering her hands as a boost to mount the big horse. The woman’s hands quickly steadied Marie as the girl had swung her legs over the horses back with too much force and nearly fell over the other side again. Lexa and her had agreed to let Marie ride on her own on the easier part of the journey but they would keep close to the girl should she get problems with the horse, one of them could always take Marie on their horses if needed.

The first few hours of their ride went over quickly. Marie was grateful that Lexa had had warmer clothes made for her as the wind had gotten a cold bite and her face felt already pretty cold from exposure to the wind. Her hazelnut horse which she had dubbed Brownie in her head was really a kind animal. The horse seemed to follow more the others then react to her pulling on the reigns. So Marie let her attention quickly slide from actually trying to control the horse to the surroundings. After they had left Polis they travelled a long distance over an open grassy landscape before trees started to appear again. At first only single trees and then they reached woodlands again. Some of the trees had leaves that had lost their green colour turning either yellow or red while other trees had already lost all their leaves or others still looked just as Marie remembered.

Lexa called the group to a halt as they reached the tree line. They had left Polis in the hours of the morning and it was way past midday now. They would halt for a break now and have a light lunch. Two younger warriors who were part of the group took the horses to a nearby stream to water them while others left to quickly hunt something. Anya helped Marie down her horse and showed the girl again how to start a fire. Lexa joined both of them after Gustus and Ryder were sent to do a quick query of the area.

Marie looked around the trees in awe as a few more leaves fell to the ground. She watched as a leave slowly fell from a tree above them catching the red leave before it reached the ground. The girl inspected the leave in her hands with interested eyes never having seen the effect of the changing season herself. “They look really pretty” Marie said twirling the leave between her fingertips with a smile on her face. Lexa nodded she could still remember watching the leaves fall for hours as a child this time of the year had been her favourite as a child.

The warriors who had gone out to hunt soon returned back with their game and they had been quite successful. Marie watched on with disgust clear on her face as they hung the rabbits they had found on a low branch of a tree letting the bodies drain from blood and already skinning the small rodents.

A squeal of pure horror left her mouth as she watched and the muscles of one of the animals contracted still. She turned to Anya with widened eyes “They are still alive!” her voice an octave higher than normal. Anya snorted at the girl clearly trying to contain her laughter at the absurd idea. “No, Marie” Lexa said in a soft tone “They are decapitated, so they are definitely dead, but the muscles keep contracting for some time after death”. The girl’s eyes returned to the dead animals and promptly another muscle contracted visibly making the girl shudder “This looks sooo disgusting…” Lexa smiled at the girl remembering that she too once found the sight unnerving a long time ago.

After the lunch the warriors quickly assembled everything again. Marie had waited with the horses gently petting Lexa’s horse that obviously recognized her and seemed pleased by the attention.

“You will ride with me for now” Lexa proclaimed as she joined Marie at the horses. The girl looked confused “Why? I was doing fine” Lexa raised a doubtful brow at the girl but before she could say something Anya spoke up having followed the commander “Your horse only followed the others. The woods are harder to navigate and you would fall off surely”. Marie looked slightly sulky but Anya completely ignored the girl’s reaction and simply boosted her onto Lexa’s horse in front of the commander.

Marie had to begrudgingly admit that sharing a horse made it easier to look around and as the ground became uneven under the horses hooves Lexa helped keeping her upright on the horse or she would truly have fallen down being unaccustomed to follow the movement of the horses back under herself.

The woods were slower to travel through but they reached TonDC just as dusk fell around them. There was barely enough light left to really see the condition of the village.

The inhabitants of TonDC were obviously happy to welcome their commander back into the village. Indra stood waiting for them as they left the tree line.

The damage made by the missile had not been completely restored yet Indra reported just as Lexa dismounted in front of her shortly hoisting Marie from the horse as well. The chief of TonDC told the commander that some of the structures that had been left from the old world had now completely collapsed and were beyond repair. Enough wooden structures had already been erected to house all citizens before winter came, there would not be enough for every single family but if they shared they would bear up the cold season. The dark skinned warrior was deeply thankful when Lexa had warriors present her with the supplies she had had packed in Polis for TonDC.

Indra had offered the commander her own little house for her stay in TonDC but Lexa politely declined and the warriors had already begun to erect a few tents on free spaces around the village. Marie recognized Octavia trailing behind Indra and she waved at Lincoln when she saw the man walking through the village.

“You have contact with Skykru?” Lexa asked Indra as she led her through the village. Some of the buildings still looked more transitional than anything else but it was comforting to the commander to know that it was enough for the village to last through winter.

Indra nodded “Kane has left me a _radio_ ” the unfamiliarity with the word was obvious in the way Indra’s lips formed the syllables. Lexa nodded ordering Indra to contact them in the morning to make arrangements for a meeting.

Anya led Marie to the tent they would be sharing with Lexa which had already been erected. Marie was completely exhausted from the long hours of the journey and her legs felt funny from being on the horse for so long. Anya practically had to help the girl undress as she seemed to be ready to fall asleep on her feet. The general gently pushed the girl to lie down to sleep as she went back to look if Lexa may require anything. But the commander was also ready to turn in for the night.

“They have made good progress” Anya commented as they entered the tent together. Lexa’s eyes immediately found Marie’s small form rolled together under a bunch of furs only her blond hair peeking out. The night was fortunately quiet and Marie slept through the night exhausted as she was and feeling both Lexa and Anya near her.

In the morning the citizens of TonDC had already made a huge breakfast for the commander and her whole party. Marie’s legs felt sore and she was happy to hear that they would be staying in TonDC for the day probably not riding anywhere. Her relief was short-lived when Anya told her that they would start her training again.

Lexa and she had decided it would be imperative to first build the girl’s stamina. So after they had a quick breakfast Anya ushered the girl away from the village speeding up her tempo to a quick jog. The general had to adjust her speed to a light jog when Marie started slipping on the damp leaves on the ground. Marie was sweating profusely and had trouble keeping up with the woman although she had noticed that Anya had already slowed somewhat she kept falling back.

“Anya” Marie called out when she had fallen back so far that she could not even see the general any more. The girl came to a stop her breath heaving and doubled over pressing her hands to her knees trying to regain some breath. Suddenly she heard a loud howl and whirled around to the direction of the sound. It came from the opposite way of where Anya had disappeared. After a moment of contemplation Marie heard another howl softer this time and it sounded as if the animal was in pain following her instincts she followed the sound.

It took her a few moments to locate the origin of the howls and when she did she found a sort of a trap and a wolf was caught in it. The wolf looked massive but his breathing was rattled and Marie could see the glinting of metal peeking out under his fur that was already coated in blood.

As Marie watched unsure if she should approach the obviously dying animal the wolf made his last breath. Marie felt her shoulders drop immediately and had already wanted to turn away from the cadaver when she caught movements in the leaves around the body out of the corner of her eye.

Marie cautiously stepped closer and her heart beat painfully in her chest as she recognized what was moving there. A small wolf obviously the cub of the dead animal was nuzzling against the cadaver probably trying to get its mother to move again.

The girl dropped to her knees slightly in front of the small cub and carefully outstretched her hand in its direction. The cub caught her scent instantly and it growled. But the growl did not sound threatening to Marie at all. Very slowly she let her hand get nearer to the cub until she carefully let her fingers glide through its fur. Marie could feel the small body tensing under her touch probably never having been touched by a human being but she continued to pet the frightened cub for long minutes until the small body relaxed under her administrations and turned its muzzle to her sniffing at her fingers. The small cub licked her fingers now to which Marie let out a short giggle at the feeling of its wet tongue.

The cub let itself be picked up by Marie without any resistance only sniffing at her neck in interest as she settled the small body in her arms. She suddenly heard rustling from the way she had come and turned around being faced with Anya who had a murderous look on her face. As the general noticed the small ball of fur nestled into Marie’s arms her glare softened slightly but was replaced with an impatient look as she said “You cannot keep it”. Marie gave her mentor an innocent look with her best pleading eyes “But it will die. Its mother died in the trap” to prove her words she pointed to the trap. Anya went over to the trap and freed the cadaver to bring the meat back to the village. She huffed under her breath “Wolfes are no pets, Marie” but her voice did not sound totally unyielding anymore.

In the end Anya allowed Marie to at least take the cub with her back to the village where Lexa could decide what to do with the animal. The general knew that killing the cub would not yield in much fur nor meat but the girl was correct without its mother the cub would not survive the winter it would not know how to hunt yet and they had clearly lost their pack. Anya had hoped that Lexa would reason with their charge that keeping a wolf as pet was not a feasible thing but to her silent horror the commander seemed quite taken with the idea. So Marie was allowed to keep the cub for now with the clear warning of Anya that if the wolf should ever hurt someone Marie would have to kill the animal herself. The girl nodded all too eagerly to that demand obviously sure that something like that would never happen. Marie had decided to name the little cub which was obviously female Risha and she carried the cub around the village until Anya snapped at her to finally put the animal down which was clearly capable of walking. Lexa watched on with a slight smile as the small cub which had light grey fur with a white blaze and few specks of black around his eyes now followed Marie around as if glued to the girl. To her it was obvious that the animal clearly felt some sort of bond to Marie and saw no harm in letting her keep the cub even if it obviously annoyed Anya to no end.


	75. Chapter 75

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next several chapters are already finished. I try to keep up with posting regularly from now on until the inspiration leaves me again ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 74  
> Lexa decides not to do anything actively against the Azgeda nightblood for now but she leaves to TonDC to make contact with Skykru. Anya takes Marie into the woods around TonDC where the girl stumbles upon a wolf cub. To Anya’s resentment Lexa allows the girl to keep the cub.

Chapter 75

Marie spent the next few hours sitting at the communal fire with Risha at her feet. The small cub was trying to catch a twig the girl was dangling in front of his muzzle. Every few minutes Marie’s soft giggles echoed from the fire as the cub made a clumsy movement missing the twig altogether.

Lexa watched from a few feet away as Marie played with her new companion while listening to Indra reporting in detail the progress they had made since the commander had left TonDC. The dark skinned chief had also already made contact with Skykru through the radio. Kane had answered and promised to have a delegation ready to meet them in a few hours. Anya stood beside both of them but her eyes also trailed back to Marie every few minutes and also her lips were pressed into a thin line her dark eyes were soft.

Marie also looked over to them from time to time and where her eyes looked with Lexa’s or Anya’s she would smile softly at them until Risha reclaimed her attention.

“She should be training right now” Anya grumbled in an accusative tone just as Indra left to instruct Octavia and what perimeter she was expected to scout with the other seconds.

Lexa did not react to Anya’s tone at all “I am sure her muscles will hurt enough as it is from riding yesterday and running with you in the morning. Let her have some fun.”

Anya turned her glare to Lexa now full force but the commander just met her gaze unyielding Marie’s soft giggles broke their staring contest. The general just rolled her eyes while Lexa kept on watching their charge play with the cub the corners of her lips pulled up in a slight smile.

Octavia shortly joined Marie at the fire after receiving her briefing from Indra now waiting for Lincoln. The older girl was clearly enamoured by the small animal but as she leaned down to pet the cub herself the small thing let out a light warning growl obviously not wanting to be touched and retreated back behind Marie’s legs.

Marie’s eyes were wide as she immediately looked over to Anya who was already walking over to the girl “Please, she does not mean this…” she addressed her mentor at once. Lexa followed Anya quickly noticing the high pitched quality of Marie’s voice.

“Have you been bitten?” Anya addressed Octavia her voice sharp and as the girl promptly shook her head she shooed her away. Marie was bending over to pet the cub again probably to calm the frightened animal and Anya snapped at her to take her hands away before the wolf really started to bite. As the woman crouched down to snatch the small animal away from their charge the growling resumed louder this time.

“Anya” Lexa calmly interjected seeing how the cub was pressing against Marie’s legs as if seeking security “Give them some more space”. Anya’s brown eyes connected with hers for a moment clearly doubting Lexa’s orders at the moment but she did ease up a little. Lexa herself carefully crouched down a few paces away from Marie and outstretched her hand palm up in the direction of the animal. After a few moments the cub seemed to relax against Marie and inched closer to the commander’s fingers sniffing them in interest and finally licking them as well all the while wagging its tail.

“I don’t have to kill her now?” Marie asked looking directly at Anya with pleading eyes already shining with tears.

Before the general got a chance to answer something Lexa interjected a question in calm tone “Why would you have to kill the cub?” Anya had not told the commander of the condition she had named to Marie for keeping the animal.

“I told her that she would have to kill the wolf herself if it ever bit someone” Anya said but she knew that she would have never forced Marie to really kill the animal.

Lexa looked at her former mentor minutely with a glare before her eyes softened and returned to Marie “No, Marie, you are still allowed to keep it. But you should go and ask the hunters if they have something for your cub”.

Marie smiled at her and told the small wolf to follow her which the animal promptly did to Lexa’s amusement. The hunters had some innards left which were usually not eaten and Marie fed the small pieces to Risha who caught them from the air as Marie threw them at her. Gustus had subtly followed the girl under Lexa’s orders to make sure that nothing happened but it seemed that the inhabitants of TonDC all remembered Marie fondly and eagerly supplied her with something to feed to the wolf cub.

As the day trudged on Gustus led Marie back to the tent she shared with the commander and Anya. Marie would accompany both of them with the meeting of Skykru. Lexa and Anya were looking at a map showing the surroundings of the land where Skykru had landed. The commander was trying to determine how much land to offer Skykru which would not be clashing with villages that already existed.

Risha followed Marie into the tent and the girl picked the cub up sitting down on the edge of the bed. She let the wolf go and it quickly settled into a nest of furs. Marie continued to gently let her fingers glide through Risha’s soft fur until the animal fell asleep rolled together tightly.

As Anya looked up from the map she saw the cub asleep on the furs and lowly growled under her breath garnering Lexa’s attention she seethed “This is all your fault”.

“Marie, your wolf will not sleep in the bed with you” Lexa addressed the girl “The ground is perfectly fine”. Marie caught the hint and carefully put the animal on the ground just in front of the bed without actually waking the cub.

Anya handed their charge a grey scarf and a pair of leather gloves and waited for her to get ready.  Lexa had already left to accept the horses from the stables. The commander’s horse neighed when it noticed Marie approaching and nudged its nose against her chest clearly wanting to be petted by the girl. Marie smiled and obediently scratched the horse softly behind its ears.

Anya had already mounted her own horse, a brown steed. She offered a gloved hand to Marie hoisting the girl up in front of her. She secured her arms around the smaller body in front of her. After the commander had also mounted her steed the small group started to move. Indra, Octavia, Ryder and Gustus also accompanied them completing their group. They moved at a fast pace urging the horses into a quick gallop through the trees and Marie was grateful for Anya’s strong arms around her. “Lean back” the general instructed lowly as she had difficulties to compensate for Marie’s stiffness. As Marie did she instantly felt more connected to the woman and watched with awed eyes as the surroundings rushed around them. The wind was bitingly cold against her face and she tugged the scarf higher obscuring some of her face from the coldness. For a short amount of time the thundering of the horses’ hooves against the forest floor were the only distinct sound around them.

When the commander suddenly gave a sign with her hand all the riders brought their horses to a sudden halt. Marie looked around them but in the impending dawn she could not make out anything besides trees around them.

Anya and Lexa dismounted in perfect synchrony their boots barely making any sound as they touched the ground and the general offered her arms to Marie to help her from the big animal. Marie opened her mouth to ask why they had stopped when an increasing growling noise made her halt. The noise got louder with every passing second but it did not sound like an animal to her ears. The others around her were obviously uneasy and she could see Gustus and Ryder gripping their swords as if preparing for an onslaught. Anya even shoved the girl slightly behind herself gripping her own weapon and shielding Marie from the possible threat. She noticed that Indra seemed the only one besides Octavia who did not react to the strange noise. Lexa seemed tenser than normal but she stood tall and proud her hands clasped behind her back waiting patiently.

Marie watched Octavia noting how much the girl seemed to have changed in only a few weeks. She wore her dark hair braided away from her face in a style Marie associated with the people from the ground. Her face seemed to have thinned somewhat but her body looked athletic now instead of famished and weak. It was obvious that she must have trained a lot in the last weeks. Something else was different about her as well but Marie had difficulties to pin down what exactly it was.

Before she had the opportunity to analyse the changes more in depth the noise increased even more before it suddenly stopped all together. A few moments later sounds of what must be people approaching filtered through the trees. After a few more moments the shapes of people became visible approaching their group. Lexa turned around to face them and waited until they had come close enough to see them.

The commander let her eyes quickly scan the newcomers and felt a flash of disappointment at not seeing Clarke’s face amongst them, although she had already known she would not be there. She nodded to Abby and Markus respectfully and waited until they answered her greeting. She did not recognize anyone else but she remembered that Clarke had briefly explained to her that they had a council of numerous people in place who shared the ruling over their people, a concept that was foreign to her.

“Commander” Markus addressed her respectfully with a tentative smile on his face “We were quite surprised that you wanted to meet”.

Lexa merely inclined her head “Indra had told me that you are facing difficulties to prepare for the cold season”.

Abby seemed to bristle at the comment but she wisely held her tongue for now. Her eyes kept darting to Octavia and Marie who still stood slightly behind Anya. When the general caught up with that she shielded the girl even more with her body. It was painfully obvious that the other woman still was not satisfied with Marie staying with them and Octavia now being trained under Indra.

“I called for this meeting to speak about a more permanent treaty between the coalition and Skykru” Lexa continued completely disregarding Abby’s reaction “As a show of good will the coalition offers you supplies to see you through winter”.

Apart from Abby the Skykru representatives looked impressed but the blonde woman had her eyes narrowed suspiciously and before Markus could stop her she demanded to know “What do you gain from helping us?”

Lexa clenched her jaw forcefully grinding her teeth together irritated at being questioned like that. After a tense moment of silence she said her voice sharp and void of any emotion “You and your people will not survive winter without aid”. The Skykru representatives all seemed to bristle at her brutal bluntness only Markus had his eyes downcast and it was obvious he was probably the only one to have understood the situation their people were in now. “I am sure our healers can learn a lot from you in exchange” Lexa added after another pause. She knew that her coalition was fragile at best and binding Skykru to all of them would ease some tensions that were bound to rise in the future. A small selfish part of her wanted to help Skykru solely in the hopes that it would help Clarke to forgive her were they to ever meet again. But logically it was either a permanent treaty with Skykru or rise to the clans calling to attack Skykru and extinguish them all together. Another more pressing matter was that Skykru could potentially ally with Nia. Lexa would be naïve not to consider the ice queen searching for allies to overthrow her. Skykru rallied together with Azgeda would put the whole coalition at risk. While Skykru did not have the numbers Azgeda surely did and together with Skykru’s weaponry they would pose a strong enemy, other clans could potentially rally with them as well shattering the coalition once and for all. Skykru were superior regarding healing techniques and they still had technology that could help all the clans to prosper, Lexa would just have to make all the other clans see that as well.

Unsurprisingly Markus took over again from Abby and quickly thanked the commander for her generous offer. All of them knew that Lexa did not have any obligation to help them. She could have easily done nothing and watch them starve and freeze to death once winter hit full force.

Lexa merely waved the man’s thanks off saying that the supplies would be delivered on the following day. She had previously spoken with Indra that a few warriors from TonDC were willing to teach some of the Skykru how to hunt and efficiently gather in the woods. The chief from TonDC had reported that Skykru did hunt but they were careless and shot down young animals with their guns destroying every valuable plant in their way and scaring the pray away with their loud weapons. Even Abby looked impressed with that offer now and all of them agreed immediately.

Markus invited the commander as a thankful gesture to a small feast they would hold in Arkadia in honour of the commander. Lexa agreed although slightly reluctant. Markus seemed genuine in his words but she knew that a huge part of Skykru would feel nothing but resentment for her for leaving them at the Mountain. That she had sent some of her warriors back would not be enough to atone for the betrayal in the first place.

They watched the Skykru delegation leave in silence after a few more moments. “And who will have the unquestionable honour of having to teach those idiots?” Anya inquired a snarl to her voice.

“It sounds to me suspiciously as if you volunteer to do that” Lexa deadpanned with a raised brow and a slight tease in her tone. Anya closed her mouth with an audible click and remained silent. Lexa smirked at her former mentor and remounted her horse prompting the others to also get back on the horses. Anya hoisted Marie up on her horse before getting up behind the girl. The ride back was quick as well to which Marie was grateful as her thighs hurt pretty much already.

Anya had to steady her when she got down from the horse as Marie’s legs felt completely useless. The girl smiled up at Anya with a blush on her cheeks.

“Come” Lexa said to both of them leading them to the tent they shared. Anya growled under her breath as she saw that the wolf cub had made herself at home in their furs during their absence.

“Why do you desire to rally Skykru behind you?” Anya asked as Marie sat down on the furs next to the cub gently letting her fingers glide through its soft fur.

Lexa clenched her teeth subtly rolling her eyes. She should have known Anya would know her too well. After some tense moments of silence she huffed “Skykru could ally with Azgeda instead”.

The general looked at her former second inquiringly not buying that as the sole reason for a second “And the real reason?”

Lexa crossed her arms over her chest glaring at the older woman with fierce eyes.

“You are not really thinking to appease a certain blonde Skygirl?” Anya asked. Lexa startled slightly and could not quite blanket the blush starting to creep up her neck.

Gustus interrupted them announcing a villager wanting to bring in dinner for them. But Lexa’s reaction had been enough answer to Anya’s question anyway.

Dinner was a relatively quiet affair. Lexa seemed completely lost in her own thoughts and Anya watched with narrowed eyes how their charge snuck little pieces of the roasted meat to the wolf cub patiently waiting. The girl obviously thought she was inconspicuous in her sneaking but after watching the girl feed more than half of her portion to the cub Anya finally reprimanded the girl harshly telling her that the cub would be banned from their tent if she kept that up. Marie looked abashed and searched Lexa’s face for backup but the commander only subtly shook her head mutely for once agreeing with her general.

Risha was obviously displeased with the change in pattern and after Marie had taken a few bites without offering some to the animal the cub nudged her upper leg with its paw trying to catch her fingers and licking at them in the search of food. Marie looked guiltily at Anya when she noticed the woman glaring at the wolf cub.

After they had finished their food Risha suddenly just left the tent and Marie instantly shot up from the furs to follow the small wolf. Anya held her back “The wolf probably just needs to relive itself. If it had wanted to leave your side, it would have while we were gone” silently the general had hoped for exactly that.

“But won’t the hunters kill it?” Marie asked gnawing at her lip in obvious worry.

Anya shook her head “All of TonDC probably already heard that you brought back a wolf cub and even if not none of our hunters would kill such a young animal” as Marie cocked her head a question clear on her face the general elaborated “The wolf is still a cub, we do not pray on young animals. They do not provide much meat or fur and killing the young would make the number of pray smaller in the upcoming years”.

Marie nodded with a look of understanding as that certainly made sense. She would not have thought about it that way but she recognized the logic behind that.

When it was time to rest for the night Risha still had not returned and Marie was reluctant to sleep wanting to go out and search for the small wolf. Both Lexa and Anya denied her making it clear that the wolf was still a wild animal and if it wanted to return to her it certainly would. Lexa felt slightly bad for the girl when she noticed a sheen of unshed tears in her grey eyes when Anya ended the discussion in a sharp tone immediately sending the girl to her furs.

Lexa and Anya joined the girl a few hours later planning on how to proceed with helping Skykru to prepare for winter. The commander had decided against letting Anya stay with them for a prolonged time. Even Indra had told her that bounty hunters from Azgeda had been seen trespassing in their woods in their search for Wanheda. Instead Anya would leave from Arkadia to look for Wanheda herself proclaiming to follow Lexa’s order to investigate how serious the bandit problem on their border really was. They had not yet reached a decision as to whether Marie would accompany Anya or stay with Lexa to return to Polis after a few days with Skykru.

When Lexa slipped under her furs next to Marie she could see in the near darkness of their tent that the girl was still wide awake drawn with worry. The girl instantly scooted closer to her snuggling up to Lexa’s body in a silent search of comfort. Lexa obliged her mutely and only tightened her arms around her smaller body waiting for the girl’s breathing to even out.

Sometime later the wolf cub truly did return to their tent on almost silent paws. But both Lexa and Anya were awoken by the small animal effortless jump to join them in the bed. The cub instantly rolled itself into a ball of fur pressed against Marie’s legs. Lexa had thought Anya would probably shove the animal down from the bed instantly but for some reason the general only huffed once and turned her back to the ball of fur. Lexa smirked mutely, Marie was really turning both of them softer.


	76. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as I had promised, the plot is making some progress finally ;) And we will see Clarke soon 
> 
> Previously in chapter 75  
> The commander meets up with the Skykru council offering them help for the winter in exchange for medical knowledge later on.

Chapter 76

Marie was jostled awake by Anya shaking her shoulder. She blinked her eyes blearily until her sight cleared and was confused to see that it was still dark outside and a quick glance to her side told her that the commander was already up.

“We will leave shortly” Anya announced and pointed to the table “Eat quickly or you will have to wait until we reach Skykru”. The woman waited for a second until Marie shoved the furs from her body. A smile brightened up her face when she noticed Risha wagging her tail at her in greeting. When Marie started petting the wolf instead of getting up Anya hurried her to get started “Eat or you will go hungry!”

The serious glint in Anya’s eyes told Marie that the woman was not at all joking so she entangled her legs from the furs and went over to the table. Anya waited another moment until Marie had started to eat before she turned and swept out of the tent without another word.

Marie watched her retreat with a furrowed brow unsure of why the woman seemed to be in such a bad mood. Risha had followed her from the bed and stood on her hind legs putting her paws onto Marie’s thighs clearly begging for some of her breakfast. Marie glanced at the entrance of the tent but then thought better of it “Sorry, Risha, but I will get you something later” she did not have the intention to anger Anya further.

The girl had just finished dressing in the warmer clothes together with her light armour which she noted she could dress now without any help at all when the tent’s flap opened and Lexa and Anya strode into the tent together. Both of them looked visibly tense and Marie looked between them in obvious confusion. 

A messenger had arrived in the middle of the night calling for Lexa’s immediate attention. The message was sent by Titus and was of utmost importance. Unrest had begun to grow between the Desert and the Rock Line Clan for an unknown reason. Lexa feared that both clans could have already allied with Azgeda in secret which could only mean that Nia had found what she had been searching for namely Wanheda. The commander had sent the messenger back with a fresh and rested horse to relay to Titus that she would return to Polis in the next days. She could not cancel the meeting with Skykru completely as their alliance would already be tense without her suddenly declining their invitation. After a heated discussion between the two of them with who Marie would be going Lexa had simply decided that Marie would accompany Anya. She knew it would be extremely dangerous to send her so close or even into Azgeda territory but she still hoped that Nia would have already done something more drastic if she really had found Clarke. Anya had argued for Marie to stay as close to Lexa as possible in case Nia had already send out assassins but for the same reason namely to keep Anya alive if necessary did Lexa decide against such.

“Are we leaving already?” Marie asked trying to break the tension somehow her voice sounding small even to her own ears.

Lexa looked at the girl with a sigh “You and Anya leave now”.

Marie cocked her head to the side “I thought we would travel to Arkadia?”

The commander shook her head “I will travel to Skykru later.”

When Marie opened her mouth to ask more Anya interrupted her “Come” her voice was commanding and Marie complied with order immediately. She looked down to Risha for a moment but Lexa said “I will keep watch of your wolf for you. It is not save for you to take her with you”.

Worry bubbled in Marie’s chest at the seriousness in Lexa’s green eyes and she nodded cautiously feeling as if this might be a goodbye for a rather long time. Following a sudden need she quickly hugged Lexa for a moment before hurrying behind Anya who was waiting at the tent flaps already tapping her feet in clear impatience.

Anya led the girl to a brown horse already saddled with the few thing they would need and lifted her into the saddle effortlessly before mounting behind the girl. Lexa stood at the entrance of her tent nodding to Anya when the woman urged the horse into a quick trot immediately.

Marie clenched her thighs together with a startled squeak as the horse started to move so quickly without any warning. She could practically feel the tension rolling off of Anya.

She waited a few minutes until Anya had to slow the horse down as they moved through dense underwood before she spoke “Anya, what happened?”

The woman noticed how uncertain the girl sounded and she took a few deep breath to calm her own nerves before she answered “It seems war is brewing already”.

Marie took in a sharp breath but nodded with a faraway expression on her face. After a few moments of silence she spoke again “Are we in danger?”

Anya huffed at the innocent question “Lexa is the commander, I am the lead of her army and you are her second. We are always in danger”.

Marie shivered slightly as the realisation sunk into her and Anya tightened her arms around her smaller body trying to offer at least some silent comfort. The general knew that no pretty words would ever change anything about the facts of their lives.

“And what are we going to do?” Marie inquired after a long time of silence between them the horse’s hooves against the ground the only sound.

“Search for Wanheda” Anya commented and Marie noted an undertone in the woman’s voice she could not quite place. She knew that people in Polis had started to call Clarke by that name but she had no idea why everyone seemed to think that the older girl possessed some sort of mythical power over death. There had been nothing magical about the inhabitants of the Mountain who had not had a bone marrow transplantation to die of radiation poison after a few minutes of exposure to the outside air and all those who had already been cured had been killed by the few warriors who had returned to the Mountain with Anya.

Marie remembered that Lexa had explained to her that a part of their culture was the belief that to kill someone meant absorbing some of the power of the one you had killed. A shiver ran up her spine at the realization that she in fact did possess a power that would probably be very desirable. Another thought crossed her mind and without thinking she spoke “Why has Lexa not killed me yet?”

Anya seemed to do a double take at the seemingly out of the blue question her brows drawn together in confusion “Why would she even consider?”

“Lexa said queen Nia would search for Clarke to gain her power through killing her” Marie said and after a heavy pause she added “And I do have a kind of power…” The girl’s words trailed off and Anya sighed audibly above her.

The general let go of the horse’s reigns with one hand snaking the now free arm around Marie’s frame pulling her against her chest firmly and her voice was unwavering as she said “The kind of power you have would never be transferred to someone who killed you, Marie. But you are correct, not everyone will accept that as the truth and try to kill you for your power. That is part of the reason why Lexa and I were insisting that you must keep your talent hidden at all costs, because otherwise they may very well cost you your life.”

Marie nodded with a lump in her throat and let herself relax against Anya’s lean body feeling the echo of her strong heartbeat against her back. She let her thoughts wander as the surroundings rushed around them when Anya could urge the horse into a gallop in more even terrain. She barely registered how quickly the time passed and would have probably fallen from the horse as Anya pulled the animal to a sudden stop if not for the general’s arms keeping her securely in place.

Anya let her eyes wander around carefully. They had made good progress and had reached their first destination. A trading post near the border to Azgeda. Lexa and she had hypothesised that Clarke could have never survived out in the wild without any kind of help for so long. The blonde would have needed to visit some kind of trading post and all of those Lexa’s scouts had already visited had all claimed to never have seen Wanheda. When she could not detect any possible threat the general dismounted the horse in one fluid motion and helped Marie down as well. Anya bound the horse’s reigns to a wooden post in front of the trading post and turned to Marie who followed her mutely “Do not speak in there”. The girl nodded obediently a little unsure of why her mentor commander that she remained quiet but knowing better already than to question Anya.

She followed Anya to the door to the trading post and without knocking the woman just pushed the door open entering without a beat of hesitation but Marie noticed how one of Anya’s hands was curled around a dagger at her hip. Marie cautiously peered behind Anya’s back into the dimly lit room.

A woman was standing behind a counter of sorts and the walls were mostly lined with shelves broadcasting what was sold and a few tables stood around the huge room also laden with various wares. The woman had dark blonde hair and brown eyes. Marie had noticed that most of Trikru seemed to have brown eyes. The woman’s hair also showed typical braids and her features previously cautious morphed into a warm welcome when she recognized the general.

“Anya” the woman greeted with a respectful smile on her face “It was a long time ago”

The general nodded and stepped closer “Niylah” she responded and her hand let go of the dagger falling to her side. Anya remembered the blonde girl from the few training sessions they had shared in their youth. But while Niylah had quickly chosen not to follow the warrior’s path and returned to her parent to help with the trading post Anya had remained and excelled in her training quickly moving up the ranks.

“What brings you here?” Niylah asked in a kind voice grabbing a bottle under the table. She poured some of the content into three cups having noticed the girl slightly hidden behind Anya’s body.

It was easy to spot the moment Niylah recognized the girl behind Anya. Her eyes flashed with recognition and her hand faltered for a second missing one of the cups and splashing some of the liquid onto the table surface.

“You probably can guess already” Anya drawled in a purposefully bored tone. The other woman had never completely mastered the skill to mask her reactions and was thus still relatively easy to read.

“Wanheda” Niylah said gripping the bottle in her hand with a little bit of too much force. Anya instantly knew that Niylah obviously knew Clarke personally. Internally she let out a sigh of relief at having found a real trace to the blonde girl.

Anya nodded accepting one of the mugs Niylah mutely shoved into her direction. She took a sip feeling the warming effect of the strong alcohol spread instantly. Marie carefully accepted the other mug and took a large gulp obviously not expecting alcohol. The girl started coughing immediately spewing some of the alcohol back out in the process. Her face pulled into a grimace at the biting taste.

The ghost of a smile played around Niylah’s lips as she quickly fetched a mug of water for the girl instead “You are not used to alcohol, huh?” she checked while taking the half emptied mug back and replacing it with the water. Marie eyed the water suspiciously for a second before carefully taking a sip and then gulping down the whole mug at identifying it for the water it was.

“So the rumours are true about you and the commander taking one of the Sky children as your second” Niylah addressed Anya who nodded curtly. Any of their children at Marie’s age would all have been used to the taste of even strong alcohol.

Niylah seemed to think something through and took a large gulp of her own cup before she finally spoke “Wanheda was here last night”.

Anya silently cursed. If the blonde girl had been here only the night before it could be weeks before she returned.

“She was wounded” Niylah continued “And a group of bounty hunters were here searching for her. I sent them on a path into Azgeda territory. But I do not know for sure if they believed me. Wanheda waited here slightly to give them time to clear out but she left before first light”.

“How many?” Anya questioned her brows furrowed in thought.

“Three” Niylah clarified “All from Azgeda”.

“And the wounds?” Anya asked. Wounds meant possible infection without proper care and hygiene which could prove challenging out in the woods.

“Claw marks from a panther she killed” Niylah answered. She had cleaned the wounds for the girl the previous night but she had not dressed them properly or put any healing salve into them.

Anya was impressed to hear that Clarke had somehow managed to kill a panther. More experienced hunters had already died trying to prove their prowess against a panther and failed miserably. Maybe they had underestimated Clarke’s abilities after all.

“Do you have any idea in which direction she went?” Anya questioned and Niylah shook her head in the negative and she also did not know when the girl might return to the trading post.

“Have you seen bandits around here?” Anya asked finally.

Niylah nodded “A group of them come near our trading post from time to time but they never tried to get in”. Anya furrowed her brow confused with that answer and Niylah’s expression clearly mirrored her confusion. Bandits would usually scavenge at all opportunities and a small trading post would not have any defences against multiple attackers.

“Sent a message to TonDC” Anya directed “The commander is there. She will send someone to help”. The woman looked relieved and nodded “I will sent one of the neighbours young immediately”. Her father regularly had to leave the trading post to deliver something to the next bigger village or trade there on the market leaving her alone. The general felt slightly guilty for using the other woman in such a way. But Lexa had known that the trading post would be her first destination and Niylah asking for help had been a sign they settled on the signal that Anya had found a trace of Clarke.

“Thank you, Niylah” Anya spoke honesty in her voice and set down the empty mug on the table guiding Marie back outside. The woman looked down on the muddy ground in front of the trading post easily spotting different tracks.

“What do the tracks tell you?” she asked Marie directing her attention on the ground as well. Anya watched as Marie scrunched her brow in thought before she answered “The men have gone north”. The general nodded at that, the deepest tracks all led away from the door in the direction north into the treeline. A smaller set of tracks led into the treeline on their right which Marie identified a moment later.

Anya collected their horse helping Marie up on its back before mounting behind her and leading the horse in the direction of the smaller tracks. It was obvious Marie’s eyes were not yet practices enough on what to look for in the underwood and the girl had completely lost the track some time ago. Anya still could spot the occasional trampled down plan or a broken twig someone had stepped on. She followed the track for a rather long time but she doubted they got anywhere near the blonde Sky girl. She could not detect any sound of movements in their vicinity aside from the usual animals.

Camp for the night was rather uncomfortable in Marie’s opinion. Anya had just packed two furs. One for them to lay down on and another to cover both of them. The girl was grateful to be able to snuggle up to Anya as the air had gotten absolutely chilling as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Marie silently wondered where Lexa might be at the moment. Maybe the commander was still in Arkadia or already on her way back to Polis. Anya did only dose lightly aware of the dangers that lurked in the dark in the woods. She had kept a small fire ablaze to scare away any pray but she knew that Clarke would also be able to see the flames if she was even that near to them.

Luckily for Marie she was so exhausted from travelling the whole day from sunrise long until sun down that she slept completely without nightmares. But she felt stiff and still tired when Anya rose before the sun showed itself again. The girl yawned and accepted a piece of dried meat from Anya rubbing at her eyes tiredly. When she accepted a water skin back from her charge she noted that it needed refilling soon and the horse also required more water.

Anya guided them into the direction of a nearby stream and as the horse drank his fill she refilled the water skin and splashed some water into her face. Crouching down at the bank Anya suddenly noted prints in the muddy ground and cursed under her breath.

Marie looked up from having petted the horse while it drank to what had obviously angered her mentor. “She is obviously way more skilled than we gave her credit for” Anya mumbled waiting impatiently for the horse to finish. Another pair of tracks had lead in the opposite direction obviously the Sky girl had tried to make a false trail and it would have worked had Anya had actively sought out the stream.

Marie furrowed her brow not understand what the woman’s words meant. “Look at the tracks” Anya snapped at the girl a little harshly. Marie jumped slightly at the tone but inspected the tracks immediately following their path down the small stream exactly in the way they had come from. Realization dawned on her “She just went back?”

Anya nodded her lips pressed together into a thin line. Maybe it would work better just waiting Clarke out somewhere that she was bound to cross. The general knew that you could spent weeks to follow someone around without ever catching up.

When the horse finally drunk its fill Anya lead it to follow the tracks direction. She noted that the tracks seemed to get irregularly as if the one who had made them had started to stumble. Which could hint to a possible infection making her steps uncertain. She was just glad at not seeing any other fresh tracks around so it seemed that Clarke had somehow managed to evade all bounty hunters looking for her.

Anya knew that she would find Clarke sometime sooner or later.


	77. Chapter 77

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 76  
> Anya and Marie leave to search for Clarke. The general speaks with Niylah and they are following Clarke’s tracks.

Chapter 77

They followed the tracks in the muddy tracks in the stream’s bank in silence for what Marie seemed like a long time.

The general felt a slight flash of acknowledgment for the blonde Skykru girl. Clarke’s tracks had become even unsteadier the longer they followed them. It was obvious that the girl seemed to trudge on simply relying on sheer stubbornness and her strength must be dwindling fast.

Anya had lead the horse in a relatively slow pace following the tracks but cursing under her breath she recognized that for the error it had been. She had feared their approaching noises would only urge Clarke to move faster and simply hoped the girl would have to fall victim to her exhaustion and collapse somewhere. But the girl’s tracks in the muddy ground had stopped suddenly and the general noticed other tracks coming across the stream’s bank from the treeline and returning back into the woods.

The meaning of these tracks was instantly clear to her and an icy realisation settled into her mind. Someone else had already found Wanheda and obviously taken the wounded Sky leader with them. Judging from the number of tracks it would have been three people and immediately Niylah’s mentioning of the three bounty hunters from Azgeda that had searched for Wanheda in her trading post flashed back up in her mind.

Marie had also caught up with the fact that the tracks they had been following seemed to have vanished “Where could she have gone?” the girl wondered out loud clearly not drawing the same conclusion the other tracks mixed with Clarke’s on the ground.

“The question is rather where she was taken” Anya drawled already guiding the horse in the direction the other tracks pointed into the woods. She knew that these woods were near to the border of Azgeda and she would need to be careful of eventual scouts posted from Azgeda to keep out strangers. Although the coalition laws actually forbade such a thing and allowed all clans safe travels through the different clans it was an open secret that Azgeda still tended to strike strangers down and ask later what they had wanted.

She had no means to tell how long ago the bounty hunters had encountered Clarke or how fast they would be travelling with her. All that was obvious was that they travelled on foot obviously not in the possession of a horse and that would need to be enough to catch up with them. The commander and Anya had spoken about where Nia would be probably at the moment and with her obviously just waiting to challenge Lexa for her leadership it was probable that the ice queen would already be near the border which in conclusion decreased the time they had to catch up with the bounty hunters before they could deliver Clarke to the ice queen. It would be near impossible to rescue the blonde Skykru leader once the ice queen had her in her possession.

Anya ordered Marie to hold on as tightly as she could and urged the horse into a gallop. She tried to keep track of their surroundings being wary of running into Azgeda soldiers but the time limit urged her to move faster than reason justified. She knew how important it was for Lexa that Clarke did not fall into the hands of Nia and not just to make sure Wanheda’s power did not go to Nia but on a more personal level as well as much as the commander had tried to deny the fact Anya knew her former second too well to be fooled by her denial.

As the tracks led to an impromptu campsite Anya slowed the horse suddenly pulling hard at the reigns. Marie had difficulties keeping herself on the horse as Anya already dismounted quickly feeling the remnants of a small fire and to her satisfaction finding it still slightly warm which only could mean that they were catching up. What worried her was the sight of fresh blood on the grass next to the extinguished fire. The blood had not dried yet backing the conclusion that the small group was only slightly ahead of them now.

The bounty hunters had moved through the woods as careless as Skykru did leaving tracks which were easy to follow. Anya got back up on the horse behind Marie and urged the horse in the direction the bounty hunters had left. She kept the horse purposefully at a much slower pace now but still quicker than someone on foot would be possible to move. If she caused too much noise the bounty mounters would hear them approach and facing multiple opponents having the moment of surprise on her side was rather important.

It did not take them long now until Anya was able to detect the sounds of careless movements ahead of them. Soundlessly she dismounted the horse quickly tying its reign to a tree moving on foot now would decrease their noise even more she just hoped Marie would be quite enough but the bounty hunters moved rather careless as if unafraid someone might chase after them.

She lifted the girl from the horse after she had silently decided that leaving Marie alone with the horse could only bring more complications. Anya noted with satisfaction how careful Marie seemed to be in following her wordlessly understanding that avoiding any kind of noise was of utmost importance at the moment.

The general regretted not having given the girl a bow it would have been helpful if Marie could have an active role in the fight that would surely start once they did catch the bounty hunters as they were unlikely to give up Wanheda on their own free will. Fortunately for Anya they technically were still on Trikru land and killing the bounty hunters could not be twisted by Nia into going into her territory to kill soldiers of her own.

Anya urged Marie too move as fast as she dared without being too loud at it. The noises from the group travelling ahead of them got louder with every passing moment and the general already had daggers in her hand ready to pounce on the first sight.

When they came close enough to the bounty hunters to hear them talking between each other Anya called them fools in her head. The men were discussing rather loudly on what they were planning to do with the promised bounty which was extremely high. The general doubted that any of them would even survive delivering Clarke to the ice queen she knew what kind of thanks would await them and they were complete fools to even think otherwise. Anya urged Marie to move slightly faster still guiding the girl around the small group to get a real glimpse of what she would be facing.

She pushed her charge down into a bush crouching down next to her obscuring them from careless eyes and the bounty hunters seemed so absorbed in their planning that they barely spared their surroundings any glance.

Anya observed the group carefully. Two of the bounty hunters walked closely together loudly talking with each other. The third one lagged slightly behind pulling someone behind him. The person being dragged behind stumbled with every step which slowed them down considerably. Anya knew how stubborn the Sky girl could be when she wanted remembering their way through the woods after they had escaped the Mountain together but her faltering steps did not look staged but rather as if her legs would give out any moment.

The general counted herself lucky when Clarke stumbled more strongly and the man who had dragged her behind had not anticipated that and the girl fell to the ground face first which was obscured by a sack having been pulled over her head. Anya momentarily wondered why the hair peeking out under the sack was red and not blonde but chalked that off to an attempt at obscuring her identity.

The man who had dragged her behind called the others to a stop and as they turned around Anya saw her chance. She quickly signalled Marie to simply stay put opting to keep her out of the line of fighting all together. The general silently threw her first dagger forcefully and watched with satisfaction as it embedded itself into the back of one of the bounty hunters. She was already in the process of throwing the next one when the man who stood next to her turned and deflected her dagger with a quickly drawn sword.

The man with dagger in his back had fallen to the ground and remained lying face down in the grass but the second man now also charged at Anya with his own sword drawn.

The bounty hunters were more skilled in combat than Anya had previously anticipated and she needed a few minutes to kill the first one being on the receiving end of his sword producing a large gash on her upper arm. She clenched her teeth barely registering the pain of the cut and charged at the last remaining bounty hunter with an aggressive snarl putting all her force behind a series of blows. The man had clearly underestimated her abilities and left his side unprotected from her blows creating an easy opening to slice her own sword into the man’s body mercilessly.

She panted from the exhaustion of the fight as she pulled her bloodied sword from the dead bounty hunter. Marie cautiously came out of her hiding spot her own dagger clenched into a white-knuckled fist and her eyes wide with horror as she flitted over the dead men’s body to Anya’s bloodied blade and lastly to her strongly bleeding wound on her arm.

Anya only nodded to the girl in reassurance that everything was under control now. The gash on her upper arm would not kill her but it worried her that Clarke had not tried to flee in the chaos of the skirmish. The girl was laying in the grass and only the movements of her breathing indicated that she was still alive at all.

“Do you remember the way back to the horse?” Anya turned to Marie and when the girl nodded immediately she sent her to collect the animal at once. She watched shortly as the girl hurried to comply with her order vanishing between the trees quickly.

She let her brown eyes scan the surrounding trees quickly hoping that no Azgeda warriors or other bounty hunters had been near enough to hear the fight but when she did not detect any more movements around her the general quickly crouched down next to Clarke pulling the sack obscuring the girl’s face away immediately.

Anya was relived to see that the girl was truly Clarke recognizing her face immediately. A bloody gash on her forehead showed that the girl had not come without a fight and her blue eyes were opened but completely unfocused.

Anya put a hand to her forehead and pulled it away with a frown on her face immediately. The other young woman was burning up and obviously delirious with fever. At the touch her blue eyes regained focus for a moment her face contorted in panic before her eyes flashed with recognition and she uttered “Anya…” her voice sounded hoarse and weak and her eyes rolled back into her head losing consciousness completely.

Mixed with the recognition in Clarke’s eyes Anya had momentarily detected relieve, surprise and lastly anger. Anya knew that Lexa would await a rude awakening if she thought the blonde Sky leader would be pleased to see her again. Quickly the general gathered the unconscious younger woman into her arms feeling with a slight twinge of worry that the girl must have lost a lot of weight over the time she had spent in the wilderness on her own.

The general hurried to move towards Marie and the horse Clarke needed medical attention immediately. She knew how deadly a fever from an infected wound could be if not treated early enough. Her brow furrowed when she noticed that the poor horse would need to carry all of their weight together now and it would be a tight fit but it would have to do. Leaving Marie to walk back alone was not an option neither was letting her ride with Clarke on her own. She doubted her charge would even find the way back to Niylah’s trading post on her own without getting lost in the process.

Marie was leading the brown horse by its reign walking quickly but she had not dared to try to mount the horse without any kind of aid too afraid to fall and injure herself. Anya did not comment on the fact that the girl walked in front of the horse only accepted the reigns from Marie and lifted Clarke up on the horse. Having an idea Anya lightened the horse of all the things she had packed letting them fall to the ground carelessly. Niylah would be able to provide them with anything they might need later on anyway. Marie watched her mentor empty the saddlebags with a frown but she remained silent.

Cautiously she approached Clarke and touched her hands trying to call onto her power with a frown she let her hand sink again as nothing had happened. “Do not fret now” Anya simply commented having caught up with what the girl had tried to do but they still had no idea how exactly the girl’s talent really worked or if there were some kind of conditions for her to be able to heal someone to begin with.

The general mounted behind Clarke shoving the unconscious as far on the front of the saddle as possible and helped Marie with one free arm awkwardly into the saddle behind herself. The girl immediately snaked her arms around Anya’s midriff to hold on tight and Anya quickly urged the horse back around from where they had come into a gallop.

Watching Anya’s bleeding arm Marie mutely tried to activate her power again and was both relived and confused as it worked almost instantly the gash knitting itself back together in just a few seconds. Anya hissed at the burning pain of the healing wound but remained quiet for now.

The general was occupied with guiding the horse through the underwood as it got denser opting for the more direct and shorter way towards the trading post right through the woods and not following the stream.

She internally debated about whether it would make sense to cool the girl down in the stream but she had nothing with her to treat any kind of wounds and she knew the trading post would surely be stocked with some kind of healing supplies. So Anya only urged the horse to move faster still nearly bringing the animal to the limits of his physical abilities.

Marie had to hold on tightly on to Anya or she would have fallen from the horse as its movements increased in strength the more Anya urged it on to move faster. The girl had no idea how far away their destination was but she already guessed that Anya wanted to return to the trading post. She just hoped Clarke would hold on. With a pout Marie carefully not to let go of Anya completely reached out with one hand to touch Clarke again and tried with all her might to force her talent to work again.

Her face was drawn in concentration and she did not even feel it when blood started to pour from her nose. She had her teeth clenched tightly with force as liquid also started to pour from her eyes and ears. Anya having her back turned to the girl was oblivious to what Marie was trying to do but as the girl’s arms suddenly started to slack around her body the general was startled. She felt the girl’s head fall forwards onto her back all of a sudden and Anya tightened a hand around Marie’s slack arms keeping them locked around herself not daring to stop the horse now as she knew they were close already to the trading post.

Anya let the horse pull to a stop almost violently in front of the trading post silently praying that Niylah was alone in the building. Her arrival had obviously been rather loud as the door to the trading post was opened from the inside and Niylah stood in the entrance a weapon drawn to defend herself against attackers.

Her kind face flashed with worry as she recognized Anya and noted Clarke’s unconscious body perched in front of the general. The woman put away her weapon instantly and hurried to Anya to help her. As Anya let go of Marie’s arms to hand over Clarke to Niylah the girl immediately started to slip from the horse. Fortunately Niylah reacted quickly enough and caught the young girl before she could crash onto the ground.

Anya’s eyes widened as she noticed the blood smeared across her charges face and the girl was deathly pale.

“Bleeding disease?” Niylah inquired with a high pitched quality to her voice. A disease similar to these symptoms had been used to infect the delinquents from Skykru and was often enough deadly for those that caught it but Anya quickly shook her head. The girl had not shown any kind of symptoms only a few hours ago and normally the disease was accompanied with foreshadowing exhaustion and a strong headache sometimes with visions before the bleeding started.

Anya dismounted keeping Clarke’s body pressed to her own feeling the burning of her feverish skin even through her own clothes. Niylah carried Marie directly through the large room of the trading post into the backroom where two beds stood. Her father was away for the next three days so she was alone for now.

Anya laid Clarke’s body onto the other bed and went over to Marie feeling her forehead and finding the skin cold and clammy to the touch. As fever was also a sign of the bleeding disease the symptoms still did not fit and she had no idea what was wrong with the girl but the bleeding seemed to have stopped. With worry she noted that the girl seemed to have bled from her eyes, nose, and mouth and even from her ears turning some of her blond hair red in the process.

Niylah was already removing the clothing from Clarke’s upper body and turned her onto her stomach revealing angry looking deep claw marks on her upper back. The claw marks were an angry red colour and puss was already seeping from them.

Anya watched unsure of what exactly to do as Niylah sprang into action thankfully versed at least a little in the art of healing. Their trading post was too far from the next village to always call for a healer so she had early on been taught on how to use and produce various salves, teas and identify healing herbs.

The blonde woman forced a tea down Clarke’s throat and then started with cleaning the wounds with another streaming tea. Clarke regained consciousness in the middle of the obviously painful process and her pained screams echoed from the walls of the small room. Anya instantly moved to help Niylah by pushing down on Clarke efficiently immobilizing the girl. Fortunately for the Sky girl she lost consciousness again and Niylah finished her treatment with smearing a reddish thick paste over the now slightly bleeding wounds. She covered Clarke’s body with thick furs keeping the wounds exposed and then turned to the younger girl also still unconscious.

“I have no idea what is wrong with her” Niylah said after taking a look at Marie. She had opted with giving the girl a normal tea simply to keep her body hydrated and also covered her with furs to warm her back up.

The door to the trading post was opened and Niylah went to cater to the customer relieved to notice it was someone from the next village who came here regularly and did not pose a threat.

Anya had sat down on the edge of Marie’s bed and carefully cleaned the blood from her face that had already started to dry. She felt at a complete loss. She had successfully located Clarke and prevented her from being brought to Nia but her wounds were deeply infected and she had no idea if the girl would be able to survive them and she had not even recognized something was wrong with her charge to begin with. Seeing her lying under a bunch of furs her skin almost white and her chest only rising with shallow breath made Anya feel weaker than she cared to admit. The general let her fingers glide over the tear in her coat where Marie had healed the bleeding gash and a frightening thought planted itself inside her mind: What if Marie was lying there now because she had healed her?


	78. Chapter 78

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 77  
> Anya and Marie follow bounty hunters that have taken Clarke. Anya kills them getting a minor wound in the process. Clarke is suffering from badly infected wounds and Marie does not manage to heal her losing consciousness while trying. Anya brings both to Niylah seeking help.

Chapter 78

The hours passed painfully slowly and Anya spent the whole night at Marie’s bedside. What worried her the most was the girl’s utmost stillness whereas Clarke had already begun twitching from time to time or her eyelids fluttered Marie did not react to anything.

If Anya were not able to see the subtle raise and fall of the girl’s chest she would have been convinced she had already slipped away.

Niylah regularly administered more tea to Clarke and applied some more of the reddish paste to her open wounds. After a long night the trader was satisfied to feel the blonde’s fever decreasing slightly.

Anya felt her blood run cold as the light of the new day made her notice how more of Marie’s blonde hair had been turned red by blood and a small trickle of blood was still leaking from her ears.

She had no idea on how to proceed now. It was obvious that Marie needed medical care that none of their own healers would be able to provide. Lexa had originally wanted her to deliver Clarke to TonDC or Polis depending on where she would be when Clarke was found but it was still possible that Lexa might still be in the vicinity of Arkadia and she dearly hoped Abby would be able to figure out on how to help Marie.

The decision was taken from her when the door to the trading post was opened again only shortly later and five warriors who had been sent by Lexa from TonDC to guard the trading post arrived. Anya had never been more relived to see other warriors. The general recognized all of them as residents of TonDC and all nodded respectfully to her.

“Has the commander already left to Polis?” Anya questioned immediately urgency in her voice. She had no idea what was really wrong with the girl but she had the nagging feeling that this was something that would not be cured by simple rest.

“No, as far as I know the commander did not want to leave for another day” the oldest of the warriors supplied.

Anya let out a relived breath if she hurried they could arrive at Arkadia before Lexa left. She wondered silently why Lexa was even still in Arkadia if the situation with the clans was as precarious as Titus’ message had relayed but she would not question her luck now. 

She looked between the five warriors trying to remember who was supposed to be the best and fastest rider out of them. The general settled on one she did remember being on a scouting mission with and knowing he was a proficient enough rider.

“Come with me” she commander in a sharp tone. The warrior looked indecisive for a moment “Heda’s orders were to …”

Anya hissed at the warrior to shut up “Believe me, the commander will want you to ride back with me right now!” She led the warrior into the backroom and instructed him to carry Wanheda outside and get in a saddle with her right now.

The general bent down and swept Marie’s slack body into her own arms checking that the girl was in fact still breathing. She had no idea if it was just her imagination but she had the impression that girl’s breathing was already getting weaker.

On her way out she uttered a quick thanks to Niylah and followed the warrior carrying Clarke who was still unconscious as well. Her own horse had been tented to by Niylah during the night and was well enough rested; she only hoped that the warrior’s horse was also up to the pace she intended to travel with.

“Keep up!” she barked at the younger warrior already urging her horse into a quick gallop away from the trading post. Fortunately the man thought better than to actually argue with her and did not question where she was leading them but rather only followed silently.

It was raining slightly and the wind had an icy quality to it making the fast pace of their travels rather uncomfortable but Anya kept on rushing the horse through the woods taking every shortcut she knew of.

Pressing the girl’s body against her chest it was impossible for Anya to assess if the girl actually continued to breath or not but there was no stopping now. The general noticed that Clarke seemed to start to wake in the arms of the other warrior. She hoped for all of their sakes that the blonde Sky leader would remain delirious for the rest of their way that would surely made the journey easier for all of them.

The general made them ride the whole day through without even stopping once and still the sun was already starting to set when Arkadia loomed at the horizon. She dearly hoped Lexa would still be there and that the idiots standing guard would not shoot at her again.

It seemed that Anya’s luck still had some reserves left for the day and the gate to Arkadia already stood open when they approached and Lexa’s small team were ready to leave.

The commander halted their leave once she recognized Anya together in the company with another rushing towards Arkadia.

She felt relieve course through her at the sight of Clarke but she noted with a frown that the blonde leader was not conscious.

The general dismounted her horse quickly keeping Marie’s slack body pressed to hers protectively. “She needs medical care immediately” she addressed Lexa urgently.

Kane and Abby had stood watching the commander’s group leave and the woman had already hurried over to Clarke checking her daughter over worriedly.

“What happened?” Lexa questioned following Anya who started to move into the direction of the interior of Arkadia where she thought their healers would probably work.

A man stood at the entrance of the Ark that had been introduced to Lexa through the day as a doctor working alongside with Abby. She forgot his name but the man immediately guided them through the metal complex to a room that a metallic sterile stench to it. Anya laid the girl down on the table and explained to the man in quick words that she had no idea what had actually happened.

“We rode quickly but she was fine when we mounted up” Anya said her voice wavering slightly with barely concealed nerves “She lost consciousness sometime through the ride but I just saw that she had blood on her face when we dismounted”

The man’s face was drawn into a grimace “Has she only bled from her ears?”

Anya shook her head “No, it looked as if she had bled from her eyes, nose, mouth and ears”.

The man took Marie vital signs and connected her to some kind of device before he bolted out of the room. Anya watched him retreat with a helpless expression while Lexa tried to keep calm asking again what had happened.

The general relayed how they had went to Niylah and found tracks of Clarke and that the girl had been taken by bounty hunters. She also mentioned that Marie had healed a gash on her arm before she passed out during the ride. Lexa’s brows furrowed looking down at the pale girl with obvious worry. It nagged at her mind that her duty demanded she returned to Polis immediately but she would at least wait for the doctor’s verdict.

To both of them the minutes ticked by slowly until the man returned helping Abby hoist Clarke’s body onto another of the beds in the medical bay. The woman immediately pushed a cannula into her daughter’s arm and connected a bag filled with liquid to it.

They came over to Marie’s bed both their expressions grime as the man briefed Abby and what Anya had told him “Bleedings from all upper orifices which stopped and bleeding from the ears started again a few hours ago”.

Indra stood at the entrance to the medical bay and cleared her throat loudly garnering the attention from Lexa while Abby had started to undress the girl. The chief of TonDC wanted to know when they were to leave as most of the warriors had remained in their saddles in case the commander would return after a few moments.

Abby addressed Anya still sitting next to Marie’s bed when Lexa had went over to Indra “Thank you for bringing my daughter back” the woman’s voice was honest. Anya only nodded not bothering to tell the doctor that she certainly had not searched for Clarke for her but rather followed the commander’s order.

The man had retrieved a series of instruments laying them on a tray next to the bed and Abby thanked him “Thank you Jackson. Look over Clarke for me, please”. He nodded and went over to the other bed to examine Clarke more closely but both of them knew that Clarke would recover while the fate of the younger girl was unclear.

After undressing Marie Abby started with testing the girl’s reflexes. Anya watched her like a hawk feeling awkwardly inadequate in this setting unable to help with anything. Lexa returned back to them standing rigidly next to Anya the tension clearly visible in the clench of her jaw. She had informed Indra that they would depart at an unknown later time as she was unwilling to leave just like that Titus be damned. The commander by no means had any kind of healing training but she knew enough that such a bleeding without a severe blow to the head was uncommon.

They waited in silence as Abby ran her tests repeating some of them just to be sure. When the woman finally laid down the last of the instruments her face was grim and her voice laden with sadness “She is dead”.

The single three words felt like a sword driven through her body and Anya stared down at the girl with widened eyes with disbelieve. Lexa seemed to fare similar to Anya “But she is still breathing”.

Abby nodded with a heavy sigh “But her body does not show any reflexes anymore. The damage is within her brain. It is probably an erupted vessel but I cannot identify where it is. There is nothing I can do for her”. The doctor watched both of the other woman process her words and in that moment neither of them looked like the stoic war hardened warriors she had come to know but just like two women who had just lost someone they cared deeply for connected in their grief.

Anya clenched her hands into tight fists as her eyes misted over with tears while her mind struggled to accept what the doctor had just said.

Jackson had come over back to them and he was gnawing at his lips clearly uncertain before he suggested “The medical facilities in Mount Weather have a CT scanner”.

“No!” Anya thundered looking at the man with rage in her eyes, she would not sit back and watch the girl being transported into the place where the Mountain had bled her people dry for generations.

The man swallowed once surprised by the outburst “I did not mean to bring Marie there but rather get the machine here. Transporting her any further would increase the likelihood of the vessel to rapture completely before we could operate.”

Abby looked doubtful and her words were careful “There is no guaranty that the procedure works, Jackson. And no way of telling how much lasting damage is already there”.

The man nodded his expression drawn “But it is the only thing that might save her now. Without any procedure her body will just cease functioning in the next days”.

Lexa felt Abby’s eyes on her. They had just today discussed heatedly about the Mountain. The council of Arkadia was of the opinion that the Mountain held many valuable things and wanted to collect them and her response had been a steadfast denial. “Collect this machine” she simply ordered “If you can convince me of the advances of the Mountain’s equipment I will give you the permission to gather all of it”.

The woman nodded leaving immediately to organize the transport. Jackson remained and also connected Marie to one of their strange bags containing fluid telling them that it contained nutrients her body would still need.

Lexa put a hand on Anya’s shoulder if to comfort the general or to ground herself she had no idea. She shortly glanced over to the other only occupied bed in the medical bay containing Clarke’s body. She was relieved to know that the blonde woman was now save back with her own people.

“What about Polis?” Anya asked after long moments of silence her voice sounded strained and tired. Lexa immediately shook her head already having decided that she would not leave to the capitol. As Wanheda was safely in Arkadia now Nia could impossibly claim to have gained her powers.

The general remained sitting at Marie’s bedside staring at the girl with a forlorn expression. She could not shake the feeling of that this was a repetition of losing Tris and she could already picture herself cutting one of the girl’s braids from her hair as a keepsake.

The commander quickly left the medical bay heading in the direction of the entrance to the Ark and promptly ran into Markus Kane. Judging from the man’s expression he had already been told of why she was still here and he wanted something from her “Commander, I am sorry to hear of Marie”.

She waved his condolence away with her hand as to her the girl was not yet dead holding on to a tiny sliver of hope “What is it you require?” she asked instead.

“A group of us will leave in a rover in the next minutes to gather the CT machine. But we wanted to take other…” the man said.

Lexa interrupted him “Take whatever you want except for weapons but make it quick”. Markus nodded with a thankful expression “There are rooms available if you want…”

She interrupted him again “No, thank you for the offer. My people will prefer to erect tents outside”. After the man nodded again she waited a moment and when it was clear that he did not want to say anything else she swept past him with quick strides.

The group of warriors who were supposed to leave with her to Polis was still in their saddle when she stepped outside of the Ark. “ _We will not leave tonight”_ she loudly proclaimed _“Erect tents to stay. We may need to stay for several days”_ confusion was evident on some of their faces but none of them dared to question her. Gustus immediately dismounted and approached her with a cautious expression _“Marie’s situation is this precarious?”_ the whole group of warriors had recognized the body pressed to Anya’s chest earlier as Marie but they had thought her to have a normal injury.

Lexa had to steady her voice before she could answer _“She is on the brink of death”._  

Gustus nodded with a grim expression staying silent knowing that no matter what words he said they would not change the situation at hand. “ _I will organize the camp”_ he simply offered and Lexa accepted with a grateful expression holding his kind gaze for a moment before she turned back and headed back inside the Ark towards the medical bay.

Anya looked ready to collapse when Lexa returned to the sterile room. Her expression was drawn with exhaustion and her body was slumped slightly towards the bed holding one of Marie’s limp hands in her own.

“You need to rest, Anya” she addressed her former mentor her voice purposefully soft. She already knew the woman would be unwilling to leave Marie’s bedside even for a few moments.

As predicted Anya immediately shook her head her expression firm but the woman failed to mask the utter exhaustion from her brown eyes.

Lexa sighed “At least rest in one of the beds here. I will stay with her” when Anya still looked unconvinced ready to object the commander added “You won’t help her if you drop from exhaustion. Do not make me command you to rest, please”.

The woman huffed but the fight left her eyes and she nodded eying the beds around the room with clear distaste. The general chose the bed nearest to Marie. She only shrugged out of her heavy coat and boots and laid down on the thin mattress not even bothering to cover herself and closed her eyes.

Lexa took up the vacant post next to Marie’s bedside. The girl’s fingers were still slightly warmer where Anya had held them only moments ago as she enveloped them with her own hands.

_“Do not give up now”_ she lowly addressed the girl. Jackson returned to the room to check the girl’s vital signs and Lexa startled him slightly when she asked “Can she hear what is going around her?”

The man looked doubtful before he answered “There is no clear answer to that. She might, but nothing is proven in that regard. But it certainly can’t harm to talk to her in case she does hear it might calm her”. His dark eyes were kind as he explained the situation to the commander. The man was slightly intrigued to see the woman so different from the political figure he had seen the previous day. The power was still there conveyed in her whole pose and strong eyes but she looked younger and more vulnerable as she sat next to the girl holding her hand still dressed in her whole commander regalia looking utterly displaced in the atmosphere of the medical bay.

He also checked on Clarke and was intrigued to hear the commander starting to talk lowly to the girl again and even though he could not understand the words as she had switched back to her native tongue he still felt touched by the gesture in itself.


	79. Chapter 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 78  
> Anya brings Marie and Clarke back to Arkadia. Abby tells her and the commander that the girl is brain dead probably having suffered an aneurysm. Jackson suggest getting a CT machine from Mount Weather to be able to locate the aneurysm and possibly operate Marie to save her.

Chapter 79

Lexa remained sitting next to Marie’s bed the whole night lowly speaking to the girl in her native tongue. She told the girl all that she would be missing about the snow, the spring and the first real summer. Marie had only thus far seen the late summer blending into autumn there was so much left for her to discover. The commander told her about the sea where the Boat People lived and that she would personally bring her there if she just held on to life.

Jackson or Abby kept in returning to the girl’s bedside in regular intervals noting down her vital signs and sometimes doing some sort of tests Lexa had no idea on what their purpose was. The commander counted it as a good sign that the girl had continued to breath and her heart had not stopped beating.

When the morning finally came the group that had driven to the Mountain returned with their rover. Lexa was intrigued by the speed of their journey knowing that to complete such a mission solely with horses would have taken at least three times as much time.

She watched on impassively as a huge contraption was carried into the medical bay where room had already been made for it previously. Raven the girl she had falsely started to punish in TonDC instead of Sierra limped around the machine a metal brace encasing one of her legs wiring the thing up. It was obvious the movements were strenuous to the girl’s body and Lexa had to mutely acknowledge the girl’s obvious strength in biting through the pain silently etched into her features. Raven had only spared the commander one slightly hateful and distrustful gaze as she entered the medical bay and she looked ready to hurl some hurtful words at the commander but something in the leader’s expression had made the words die on her tongue before they even formed.

The commander had stopped speaking to Marie once it was clear she now had lasting company in the room. The noises they had made promptly woke up Anya from her much needed rest but a few short hours of sleep were better than no sleep at all. The general stood up from the bed stretching herself and after dressing completely again stepped back up next to Lexa _“No change?”_ The commander shook her head. _“You also need to rest, Lexa”_ Anya reminded her former second who only sighed clearly not impressed with the reminder.

“How long until this thing works?” Anya turned around to Jackson who was approaching Marie’s bed to check on her again. The man shrugged “It should take a few hours. We need to calibrate it before we can reliably use it”.

_“Then it is your turn to rest now. I can wake you when they start”_ Anya offered. Lexa huffed at Anya’s attempt of commanding her but she knew that the woman was right so she relented silently.

Raven watched both women talk in their native tongue and it unnerved her not to know what they were talking about she was already uneasy enough in their presence to begin with. She watched how the commander stood from the chair next to the girl’s bedside to make room for her general and discarded some of her armour. To her it seemed as if the other woman’s body shrank slightly without all the heavy armour. The commander laid down on the bed previously occupied by her general lying on her side to face Marie’s bedside so that Raven was unable to see her face.

Raven was grateful to the general for bringing Clarke back to them and Abby had told her that she was expected to make a full recovery and wake up soon. A part of her could understand why Clarke had not returned with them after the Mountain but another part of her resented her for simply walking away. She was still convinced that trusting the grounders would blow up in their faces later on and she knew that she was not alone with that opinion. But she could not deny that both women obviously cared for Marie deeply which did not really fit with the ruthless picture that had stuck in her brain. The general was now sitting next to Marie holding her hand and lowly speaking to the girl in the language Raven was unable to understand just as the commander had done when they entered the medical bay.

Abby had told her that Marie seemed to have suffered from a sudden aneurysm and that the woman was doubtful at best regarding her survival. Raven could not shake the flash of empathy for the younger girl. The doctor had also told her that with a CT machine they could take a closer look at what exactly was bothering her so much in her leg maybe even enabling them to make another operation but she did not want to bring her hopes up just yet.

Setting the machine up did really take a few hours and Raven had already started to doubt that they would ever get the thing to work again when it finally whirred back to life. She let out in involuntary whoop of triumph startling the commander awake and making the general turn in her chair her fingers already resting on a dagger beneath her coat. Raven ignored both of them as Lexa stood back up from the bed and began to redress in her armour. The mechanic mutely wondered how hard the ground really was if both of their first instincts was to reach for a weapon at a sudden noise.

Abby and Jackson returned to the medical bay promptly when Raven told them that the machine was working again. She ran a few tests on it together with them and were satisfied to see that the transport luckily did not seem to have had any impact on its calibration at all.

Monty came with Wick to the medical bay to set up an extra computer for the machine which took some more time.

Jackson was the only one who thought of supplying the commander with a spare chair when she just remained standing rigidly next to Marie’s bed. Raven mutely wondered if anyone might have thought to offer them some food when a few minutes later two grounders appeared bringing food for their commander and general. Judging that the plates contained bread and what looked like freshly roasted meat of some kind it was obvious that the grounders had already hunted for themselves instead of using food supplied from the Ark.

Lexa ordered one of them to relay a message to Titus telling the flamekeeper that her departure from Arkadia was halted for an unknown amount of time and that Wanheda had returned to her people. She purposefully left out the reason for her delay or that Anya had been the one to make Clarke return.

The man nodded and left quickly to bid her orders. The other one waited for both of them to finish their plates and took them away again without another word.

_“She will make it, she is strong”_ Lexa said to her former mentor to reassure her and to make herself believe the words when Abby told them that the machine was successfully set up and they could start. The commander nodded for them to proceed and they watched on how Marie’s limp body was laid on a special kind of stretcher that disappeared inside of the machine with the girl. They together stood and watched how the machine did its measurements both not having a clue what it actually did. The pictures that appeared on the monitor of the computer were also foreign to them but Abby and Jackson seemed to know what they meant as they analysed them together.

Lexa could practically feel the anxiousness rolling off of Anya while they waited for the doctors’ verdict. Marie’s body was brought back out of the machine onto the bed she had previously occupied.

“Is there something you can do?” Lexa finally asked when it seemed that both doctors would keep on discussing on how to proceed endlessly.

It was clear that both of them had a different opinion on the matter. Abby seemed convinced that an invasive procedure was bound to fail and that the lasting damage to the girl’s brain was too extensive already for her to ever wake up again. Lexa felt her heart drop at the words and had to bite her tongue to contain the tears that threatened to fall unbidden from her eyes. Anya had swallowed once turned on her heels without a word and stormed out of the medical bay. Lexa was torn between following her clearly upset general and waiting for Jackson’s opinion. She had never felt so utterly helpless and defeated like in this very moment.

Jackson was obviously convinced that such a procedure might work. His words were passionate “Abby is right that there is a great risk that the procedure will not actually help her at all. But we both know that doing nothing means her absolute death. There is no harm in trying!”

Lexa nodded also she ruthlessly quenched the small sliver of hope blooming in her chest “Do what you can….” her words had a hollow quality to them even to her own ears but she was powerless to keep her stoic mask intact. “How long will it take?” was the only thing she wanted to know.

“The operation is complicated and we must run a few preliminary tests before we can start” Jackson answered before Abby had the chance to open her mouth. Lexa silently wondered why the male doctor seemed more inclined to at least try to help Marie but she would not question his motives now.

She merely nodded and turned back to Marie pressing a gentle kiss to the girl’s forehead and muttering _“Stay strong, little star”_ before she also swept from the medical bay without another word.

Lexa knew immediately on where to look for Anya when she stepped outside of the Ark breathing in deeply to inhale the scent of the fresh air. Her predictions were true and she could already hear fighting going on from the direction of the training pit Skykru had created. Lincoln and some of the villagers of TonDC had already started to try to teach those willing from Skykru their way of fighting without relying on guns. Anya stood in the middle of the training pit her eyes wild and angry and her fists were already bloodied slightly when Lexa came nearer. A young man dressed in the guards uniform from Skykru stood at the edge of the training pit his face bloody and swayed on his feet while a young woman Lexa did not know personally was tending to him. She doubted that the man had even gotten one hit in before Anya had beaten him. Indra and Octavia were also at the training pit with Lincoln who had trained with Octavia under Indra’s supervision. The man held back another one of the Skykru guards and stood facing Anya instead. Even under normal circumstances Lincoln would not have stood much of a chance against Anya but as incensed as the woman was Lincoln was losing quickly against her staggering back after getting a few hits to his head. Octavia was visibly angry and wanted to help the man but Indra held her back with a clear shake of her head she knew that her second would not stand a chance against Anya either. They had just been lucky thus far that Anya had not taken out any weapon or the dark skinned warrior was sure that her previous opponents would already be dead now. Lexa led her red sash and shoulder pauldron fall to the ground unceremoniously having two short swords in hand she took up Lincoln’s spot facing Anya.

The woman’s brown eyes were unfocused and Lexa doubted that the general even recognized who stood opposite of her. She tightened the grip around her swords as Anya blinded by a crazed rage charged at her. Gustus who had watched Lexa leave the Ark stood on the edge of the training pit unsure if he should intervene or not when Indra stepped up to him. “Is she dead?” the dark skinned warrior asked bluntly seeing that as the only explanation for Anya’s momentarily condition. Gustus had no answer for her hoping that there was another explanation.

Their question was answered when Lexa side-stepped Anya’s raged attack hitting her with the blunt edge of one sword across the back of her knees hard making the woman stumble and fall to her knees and loudly addressed her “Anya, she is not yet dead!”

The general only growled in answer before she quickly stood and charged again “Not yet?!” her scream echoed around the open space.

The fighting seemed to last forever and even though Anya still had no weapon in hand her rage had increased her power and she had landed a few hits busting Lexa’s lips in the process. The commander was sure her clothing was hiding a few bruises that already formed beneath them but she had trained for years with Anya and one lesson had always been important as long as you could still stand you would and you would bite through the pain. She just had to hold on long enough for Anya’s anger to fade.

As she spat a mouthful of black blood on the ground Lexa started to doubt that her mentor’s anger would fade and she made her own attacks more aggressive.

“They will kill each other” Octavia said to Lincoln a slight horror making her voice waver. Lincoln shook his head although he still had never seen Anya lose control to this extent and he hoped that Octavia’s prediction did not hold to be true. The woman was known for taking out her frustration on the training pits but that had never been to this extent.

Anya was already sprouting a few superficial flesh wounds and breathing hard but still holding on to her anger with sheer force of will when Jackson hurried from the Ark. Lexa stepped back from Anya breathing hard herself and spitting out more blood. Her green eyes snapped to the doctor praying mutely that he would not be bringing the message she feared he did.

All the fight seemed to leave Anya’s body all at once and she fell to her knees suddenly weak after Jackson had said that Marie had miraculously survived the procedure. The commander re-sheathed her swords and offered Anya a hand to hoist her from the ground.

Her brown eyes took in the crowd they had gathered during her uncontrolled display and she noticed how much her body was hurting. Anya saw the blood on Lexa’s face and guilt flashed through her eyes but Lexa only mutely squeezed her hand a silent understanding passing between them as she hoisted the general up from the ground. Gustus had already collected the commander’s things from the ground and brought them back to her tent for her.

The crowd instantly parted to let them pass in the direction of the Ark. Lexa noticed how some of the Skykru seemed to go out of their way to make space for them nearly falling over each other to do so.

They had been on the training pit for a few hours and Lexa felt her muscles burning from the exhaustion and was sure that Anya wasn’t faring any better and she knew that her general had taken more blows from her than the other way around.

Anya tried to apologize to Lexa on the way to the medical bay but the commander merely waved her off telling her that she understood instead. Anya nodded grateful although she knew that such a behaviour was utterly unacceptable least of all from her.

Abby and Raven who had remained behind to observe the CT machine working properly both looked baffled when they took in the women’s appearances. Jackson who had hurried before them offered to check both of them over to make sure they had not seriously injured each other but both declined the offer immediately.

Marie was back in the bed she had occupied the night before. Her head covered in a crisp white bandage and connected to even more wires than before. Tubes were fixed to her face coming from her mouth and nose connected to some sort of machine.

Anya looked utterly bewildered her hands hovering uncertainly above Marie’s clearly afraid to hurt the child by touching her.

“You can touch her” Jackson reassured immediately sensing the woman’s need to physically feel the girl’s presence for herself. “We had to put her on a mechanical ventilation system as her breathings stopped through the procedure” the man explained and seeing the horror flashing up on both their faces he hastened to add “But her scans look rather promising”.

“So she will wake up?” Lexa clarified with a hopeful hint to her voice.

Abby huffed and Jackson looked guilty for a moment before he said “There is no guarantee she will…” his voice trailed off as the silence settled around the room save for the regular beeping sounds coming from the machines Marie was linked to nearly suffocating them in its force.

“How long…” Lexa started, stopped and seemed to gather her thoughts for a moment before she rephrased her question “How long does she have to wake up before she never will?”

Jackson looked small under her probing green eyes gaze “We do not know. The first few days normally. But there have been cases of coma patients waking up month later”.

“Month?” Anya echoed her voice sounding hollow.

“Even years” Abby added with a heavy sigh. This was exactly the reason why she would not have tried the procedure in the first place.

“So this thing is breathing for her?” Anya questioned pointing at the tubes connected to Marie’s face distaste clear in her tone.

Abby nodded “If she does not start breathing on her own in the next up to seven days the chances she will wake up are next to none existing”.

Lexa sank into the other vacant chair next to Marie’s bed “Is there anything that can be done to help her?”

Abby shook her head “She needs to be under supervision. Her muscles need to be moved regularly and apart from that it is now up to her” after a moment she added “All you can do is, be here. Speak to her, touch her, let her know you are there. It has been known to help”. Abby left out the part that they did not have the resources to keep the girl alive in a coma for longer than a few weeks at best. She dearly hoped the girl would wake up, but she was a rationalist and she knew how slim the girl’s chances were.


	80. Chapter 80

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, Clarke finally wakes up xD  
> And I cannot believe that I am actually now over 200k words ...
> 
> Previously in chapter 79  
> The CT machine brought from Mount Weather revealed that Marie did have an aneurysm. Jackson suggested trying an operation against Abby’s advice. Anya needs to vent some frustration hearing that the girl is as good as dead. The procedure is performed and Marie survives but it is still unclear when or if she will wake up again.

Chapter 80

Lexa had no idea what time of the day it actually was or how long they had been sitting next to Marie’s bedside. Anya still held Marie’s limp hand in hers letting a finger glide over her knuckles gently over and over again. Without any windows it was impossible to assess the light outside and Lexa would have longed to bring Marie to their tent but logic already told her that the machines keeping her alive would not work in their tent.

Her body and mind felt tired and numb but she was unwilling to leave the girl’s bedside. Abby or Jackson returned regularly to check on the girl or to administer something to her.

After a few hours obviously another set of guards brought more food to them. Gustus was also with them telling the commander that a messenger from Titus had already arrived back and was waiting for her in her tent.

Lexa huffed but followed the man. She knew that Anya would stay with Marie and she longed to breathe the fresh air from outside if even for a few minutes.

Gustus did not offer her any more words of condolence knowing they would not do any good. He did not understand why the Sky people seemed to have an unending need to repeat stating how sorry they were for someone who’s suffering they had not even caused.

The commander swept into her tent followed by Gustus and could not stop her steps from faltering when she spotted the wolf cub lying in their furs. Guiltily she had to admit that she had completely forgotten about the animal.

The messenger handed her a scroll of paper which she accepted and sent him from the tent to wait for her reply. She opened the scroll and quickly scanned its contents. Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. As expected Titus was angry with her delay demanding that she returned immediately to Polis. But what she could also extract from his words was that the situation with the clans was obviously stable enough now that they knew Wanheda was not in Nia’s hands.

In a haste she wrote a reply stating that she would return the latest in two weeks from now. That would hopefully give Marie enough time to wake up. She already feared what would happen if the girl was still in what the doctors had called “a coma” then.

After she handed the scroll over to the messenger with the order to not hand it to anyone but Titus personally Lexa shortly returned to the tent. The wolf cub was standing on its paws wagging its tail at her approaching form. It immediately licked at her fingers when she outstretched them to pet the small animal. To her it felt as if the wolf’s eyes were searching for Marie and when they did not spot the girl the wagging of its tail ceased. Lexa sighed apologetically at the wolf before she just picked her up intent on at least bringing the animal to Marie.

When she returned to the medical bay Anya was in the exact same position she had been in already when she left. Even the plate of food looked completely untouched. Lexa pursed her lips at the general and she put the wolf down at the foot of Marie’s bed.

Anya immediately narrowed her eyes at the animal already climbing up Marie’s body. The animal let out a pitiful whining noise when Marie did not start petting her as she clearly wanted to be. Risha pressed her nose under Marie’s free hand lying down at her side with the limp hand on her body.

Lexa looked unimpressed by Anya’s narrowed eyes and firmly shoved the untouched plate to Anya “Eat and then you need to rest” there no room for a discussion in her firm tone and Anya relented. The general quickly ate the food from the plate and stood from the chair stretching her back in what looked like a painful motion from having been sat hunched over for hours without a stop. She eyed the thin mattress of the bed with distaste.

“The tents are already erected” Lexa supplied “You could do with fresh air and a change of clothing”. It went unsaid that she would remain behind by Marie’s side by both of them but the general nodded and after one last long glance at Marie she left the medical bay.

Lexa took up the vacant chair nearest to Marie’s bed and took her small soft hand into hers feeling the absence of callouses on the girl’s fingers. She idly wondered how long ago her own hands been free of callouses and she could not remember at all.

Remembering that Abby had said that talking to Marie might actually be beneficial Lexa started to tell Marie episodes of her early training. She had not even recognized that she had switched back into Trigedasleng at all.

Groaning caught her attention some time later Risha’s ears had also perked up at the sound. But it did not seem to come from Marie but rather from the other bed in the medical bay. Lexa let go of Marie’s hand and stood to go over to Clarke’s bed. The blonde young woman had started to toss and turn probably caught in a nightmare.

Cautiously Lexa outstretched her hand softly touching Clarke’s warm hand and calling her name in order to rouse her. The reaction was instant and Clarke’s blue eyes snapped open. She jerked her hand away from the unexpected touch and promptly sat up in the bed her eyes widened and clearly agitated as she struggled to process where she was.

“Clarke, it is ok” Lexa tried to sooth her distress “You are safe”. She felt relieve flowing through her at the sight of the blonde leader conscious again.

Her blue eyes instantly snapped to Lexa’s face and the commander was taken aback by the flood of emotion she found in them. Fright, relief, wonder and confusion flashed through them lastly settling on an obviously encompassing rage.

Clarke seemed speechless for a moment before she uttered through clenched teeth “Why am I here?” her tone was demanding.

Lexa sighed “Bounty hunters were bringing you to queen Nia. Anya had searched for you, rescued you and brought you here. You were injured”.

“I did not ask for your help” Clarke nearly spat the words at the commander. But Lexa noticed a flash of panic in the blue eyes when she looked to the door.

Lexa searched for words for a moment before she settled on the truth “You did not need to ask for my help”

Clarke looked taken aback for a moment clenching her jaw stiffly “You can leave again!”

Lexa did not miss the emphasize on the last word but she did not flinch at the words although she could not help the slight pain they caused her nevertheless. She took a deep breath keeping her face purposefully impassive “I am sorry that I had to leave your people at the Mountain, Clarke”.

Clarke huffed crossing her arms over her chest “I said you can leave!”

Lexa shook her head “No, I am not here for you. But I will alert your mother that you have woken”. The commander noticed the surprised confusion in the blue eyes but she turned around before Clarke could say anything else. She knew that she would have left Arkadia to go back to Polis if Marie was not in that bed already at least a day ago. She could understand Clarke’s anger had even anticipated to be faced with it. But still right now where she already felt wounded and weak on a different level being faced with the probable outcome that Marie would not wake she did not have the strength left to expose herself to Clarke like that.

She found the chancellor in her living quarters together with Markus Kane only letting them know that Clarke had woken before she turned back and headed back to the medical bay. She felt Clarke glaring daggers at her from her position in the bed from the other side of the room but Lexa ignored her completely opting to just sit down next to Marie’s bed and holding her hand again. She resumed speaking softly to the girl in her native tongue just as Abby entered the medical bay breathing heavy at having rushed her.

The woman hurried over to her daughter enveloping the girl in a strong hug relieved tears in her eyes as she did so. Lexa politely kept her back to the intimate scene only focusing on Marie instead. She was distracted from her narration as Jackson came back to start moving Marie’s muscles. Risha had her ears flattened to her body and actually growled at the stranger in warning as he made to touch her human.

Lexa chuckled softly under breath and simply took the wolf from the bed by the fur on her neck placing the cub on her lap and carding her fingers through her furs to sooth her.

Jackson looked startled “I did not know you kept wolves as pets”.

Lexa shook her head “We do not. Marie found the cub a few days ago. Its mother had died in a hunters trap and apparently it has chosen to stay with her”.

“Does something like that happen often?” the man wondered.

Lexa shook her head again “Not that I am aware of. The cub would have starved without its mother so Marie begged to be able to keep it.”

She watched curiously how the man started rotating the girl’s arms in different directions kneading the girl’s limps afterwards and did the same to her legs. He finished with stretching her limps in different positions.

“How often does this have to be repeated?” Lexa asked as she watched him. On the other side of the room Abby was examining the claw marks on Clarke’s back telling her that she obviously had had severe blood poisoning and would not be leaving the bed for a few more days just to be on the save side.

“As often as possible” Jackson answered.

“Can I do that as well?” Lexa instantly questioned.

The man nodded “Sure. It is not that hard or complex. I will show you the next time. It should not be done more than a few times a day”. He tested a few of her reflexes and called out to Abby when he detected some reflexes in the girl’s legs.

Lexa looked startled and had no idea what that meant “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“A good thing” Abby reassured the commander with a kind smile “It may mean that the brain damage was much less severe than I had thought”.

Lexa noticed that the woman still kept her words vague but she would believe them for now. Everything that would get her hopes up was highly appreciated right now.

Both doctors left the medical bay soon after. Abby had tried talking to Clarke but after it was clear that she had absolutely no intention of letting her daughter leave the room the young woman demanded to be left alone to rest.

Lexa had noticed from the corner of her eye that Clarke had turned her back to her and with a sigh she refocused her attention solely on Marie. She would give Clarke as much space as the room they were trapped in together made possible.

She had resumed talking softly to Marie in her native tongue and completely forgotten the other leader was even in the room caught back in old memories.

Clarke had tried ignoring the presence of Lexa but she failed completely. Hearing the soft murmur of her voice was both comfort and torture to her. Her mother had explained what seemed to have happened to Marie and that she doubted the girl would make a recovery but it seemed Lexa and Anya were both insistent to wait her out. The anger coursing through her veins at seeing the origin of her turmoil sitting there could not be quenched by her and after what felt like hours of listening to her voice, which was softer than she ever remembered, Clarke finally snapped.

“Shut the fuck up!” she hurled the words loudly at the commander and watched with satisfaction that she had obviously startled the other woman.

Lexa was blinking at Clarke in what seemed like shock for a moment before a mask of calmness settled over her features. “Your mother said talking to her might help” Lexa justified her continued talking through clenched teeth.

“I doubt hearing your voice has ever helped anyone” Clarke snapped back. She watched the flash of hurt wash over Lexa’s face before she could mask it with satisfaction. But she had thought Lexa would raise to her bait and hurl hurtful words back at her and she was astonished when the commander’s shoulders seemed to drop and she simply turned her back to Clarke. The blonde could swear she had seen a sheen of tears in the commander’s green eyes. Her angry mind supplied that the commander was probably incapable of crying to begin with. Crying for someone required to have a heart and feelings and Clarke had convinced herself that Lexa lacked both.

Lexa meanwhile actually did fight back tears of her own. Clarke had always had a way of pushing her buttons right from the first moment they had met. Her anger against the commander had obviously driven her to use that ability to cause her the most possible pain. She could not help wondering if Clarke’s words carried some truth in them, had she ever helped anyone? Her coalition was on the verge of crumbling after all.

Her dark thoughts were halted when Anya entered the medical bay. The woman looked more rested and had changed into clean clothes. Her brown eyes at first probed Marie’s face feeling a little down that the girl was still unconscious. Anya knew that Lexa would have had her notified immediately if she had woken but she still had hoped.

The general took in the downtrodden expression on Lexa’s face with a frown. “You will stay with here?” Lexa asked Anya not sparing even a glance at Clarke her voice purposefully void of any traces of emotion. Anya nodded her consent and was slightly confused as Lexa immediately stood from the chair and left the medical bay without another word.

Her eyes landed on Clarke’s bed and she noticed how her blue eyes were fixed on her anger clearly visible in them “So you woke up” Anya drawled in a bored tone.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the older woman “You had not right to bring me here!” she seethed.

Anya rolled her eyes at the girl’s theatrics “No?” she asked with a raised brow.

“No” Clarke instantly shot back “I had not wanted to return”.

Anya snorted “I am deeply sorry to have taken this decision from you then, Sky girl” she mocked the blonde purposefully. Seeing the mood the girl was in explained why Lexa had looked so shaken, the general could almost picture their first conversation without the need to hear the words hurled at Lexa from the angry blonde woman. “Should I have left you in the hands of the bounty hunters then?” she asked still mocking her.

Clarke narrowed her eyes into angry slits “I did not need your help!”

Anya snorted at that “Oh absolutely not. You would be dead without me, right now” there was no accusation in her tone as she was just stating facts.

“I would not” Clarke insisted sounding more like a pouting child than anything else.

“No?” Anya inquired raising a brow at the girl. She left Risha on Marie’s bed and went over to Clarke. She knew Lexa would tiptoe around the other woman for the foreseeable future too noble and guilty to say to the blonde’s face what she obviously needed to hear. Anya would not make the mistake she had made with Marie leading to the girl nearly accidentally killing Lexa in the process.

The general towered over Clarke’s form as she said her voice deathly calm “Let me get a few things straight with you, Sky girl” she snarled “You are alive solely because Lexa has ordered me to search for you” when Clarke opened her mouth clearly intend on injecting something Anya barked “Silence!” satisfied to see Clarke’s mouth closing with a snap. The younger woman had obviously not expected Anya to be so blunt and forceful with her.

“You are here because you were in the hands of bounty hunters in the process of bringing you to queen Nia” Anya informed the blonde her eyes glittering dangerously daring the girl to interrupt her again before she had said her piece “My people believe that by killing someone you gain his powers. So you would have either been killed by Nia now or succumbed to your infected wounds, dying alone somewhere in the woods. Which would not have been such a loss, if you ask for my personal opinion.”

Clarke clenched her teeth angrily at the words.

“I killed the bounty hunters bringing you to Niylah who looked after your wounds. But because Marie suddenly dropped unconscious bleeding all over her face without any reason you are now here” Anya continued her voice still sharp “My original orders were for you to be brought to TonDC or Polis, where you would have been protected as you were clearly intent on not returning to your people”.

The blonde woman looked perplexed by the general’s last statement but the anger was still present in her blue eyes.

“If you want to be angry for being here” Anya said “by no means. Be as angry as you want but vent somewhere else!”

“And it was no trouble at all to save your sorry ass” Anya finished mockingly turning her back to the younger woman and striding back to Marie’s bedside leaving Clarke speechless. The general knew that the conversation was not finished and Clarke would probably kick and scream later on once she had processed all that she had said to her.


	81. Chapter 81

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 80  
> Lexa sends a message to Titus letting him know she will return to Polis in two weeks. The situation with the Clans should be controllable until then. Lexa brings Risha back to Marie and Clarke wakes up. Anya tries to set Clarke straight after she had clearly upset Lexa.

Chapter 81

Anya was right in her prediction and sometime later Clarke addressed her again but her tone surprised the woman slightly “I am sorry for my outburst”.

The general turned in her chair still holding onto Marie’s hand her brow raised at the younger woman in a silent question.

Clarke huffed crossing the arms back over her chest. Anya snorted “Still an idiot child than”. She had seen Marie do the exact same thing but the girl was much younger and acted more mature most of the times than Clarke did at these moment.

Silence settled over them once more and a long time passed Anya was convinced the blonde woman would remain silent. But she had been wrong.

“She left me” Clarke uttered barely loud enough for Anya to catch the words laden with all the hurt the blonde must be feeling.

Anya sighed silently musing why it seemed that she would have to be the one to talk some sense into the younger woman. The general noted how Clarke had formulated the stated solely to her own person and not necessarily leaving all of Skykru behind which told her that the rational leader in Clarke could understand Lexa’s decision to some extent, it was her heart that obviously could not.

Anya silently contemplated on how to proceed. She knew it would be better for Clarke and Lexa to have this conversation but the anger still bubbling under the surface in Clarke was a clear sign that the blonde woman was not ready for such a talk.

“She did not only leave you” Anya stated as she let go of Marie’s hand again to return to Clarke’s bed as she had a feeling that this conversation may take some time.

Clarke looked doubtful for a moment before her face turned even darker “Yeah, she left all of my people” she spat the words the anger bubbling closer to the surface.

Anya clenched her teeth keeping hard to her patience “Yes, she did and I know that as a leader you know that she had no other choice. But I did not mean that, I meant Marie”

“The plan would have worked if she just had stayed” Clarke insisted. Even though Clarke did not utter that she would then not have had to kill all the Mountain Men Anya heard the words nonetheless knowing that the blonde woman was laden with the guilt of her choice.

“It might have, or it might not have” Anya calmly stated “We will never know. But we know that all of my people in the Mountain would have been shot on the spot. And we do not know if it was true or not but the Mountain Man brokering the deal threatened to drop a missile on Polis. As the commander Lexa never could not have taken the deal”.

This part of information was clearly news to Clarke judging by the surprise on her face but it was obvious that this would not change the way she felt at all.

So Anya tried to appeal to where the problem was, namely to Clarke’s feelings “Lexa tried to change the deal. Demanding that all of Skykru who were outside of the Mountain would be free to leave. But they were not having it, demanding Marie as well and the immediate retreat of the army. The Mountain Man showed us an object showing our people forced on their knees and shot to death with every minute that passed. You have no idea how it felt to watch Marie being dragged away screaming to us to help her”

Anya could not quiet stop her voice from wavering as she would never forget the girl’s screams at that moment.

“As the commander she could not possibly return to the Mountain, neither for Marie nor for you” Anya stated bluntly “But she gave those who wanted to the chance to do so. Do not mistake her taking the Mountain’s deal for a personal decision”

“Mmh” Clarke grunted noncommittally.

“Do not even think to attempt to physically harm any of them” Anya threatened narrowing her eyes at the younger woman clearly not trusting that her words had had any effect thus far.

Clarke looked affronted that Anya would even suggest that she might think to use Marie to harm Lexa. “How do you harm someone the most?” Anya asked rhetorically and giving the answer before Clarke opened her mouth “By hurting those they care the most about”.

“Think about what I said” Anya finished and got up again to return to Marie. Clarke’s hand catching her wrist stopped her retreat.

“Thank you” Clarke uttered her voice soft and let go of the other’s woman wrist immediately, Anya merely inclined her head in acceptance and sat down next to Marie again.

Sometime later Jackson returned with Lexa in tow. He had notified the commander that he wanted to repeat the procedure on working Marie’s muscles and wanted to show her how to do it.

Jackson smiled kindly at Clarke while Lexa solely looked at Marie and Anya. The commander had also changed clothing not donning any armour instead she wore snug dark leather trousers with dark heavy boots reaching just under her knees and a formfitting simple dark shirt. Clarke only spotted a holster holding one dagger strapped to one of her thighs and no other weapon was visible on her person.

Anya nodded to her in a silent greeting noting that Lexa seemed to have rested some as well. She took guiltily in the bruise she could see blooming darkly on the left side of her jaw and the black crust of blood on her former seconds lip.

The general watched on with a slight smile pulling on her lips as the small wolf growled again at Jackson in warning as the man reached out to touch Marie. “I mean her no harm” the man tried to reason with the animal but the growling persisted and only increased in volume the nearer his hand got to Marie.

Lexa intervened by plugging the cub from Marie’ body and setting it down on the ground. The cub looked up at her with protesting eyes whining lowly at her scratching at her leg with one of its paws for attention, but was ignored by the commander.

Jackson started slowly showing Lexa on what needed to be done and how to do it. Anya watched as well so that she would be able to help as well.

The man had done some research while he had been in his quarters “What does usually have the strongest effects on her?”

Both women looked confused by the question and Lexa asked “You mean of what she is afraid?”

Jackson shook his head “No, I mean the opposite. What works to sooth her?”

Clarke was silently impressed to hear Lexa answer “Letting her listen to your heartbeat”. The man nodded with a contemplative expression “Cuddling with her might be helpful then”.

At both of their warry expressions he explained “That is called a positive stimulus. Formerly coma patients would be exposed to for example the music they loved to listen to, or sounds of the ocean or the voices of loved ones. But it is not just acoustic sensation but also smell and touch”.

Jackson showed Lexa how to work specific muscle groups and wanted her to repeat the movements. The commander was obviously hesitant fearing to hurt the girl somehow in the process. Jackson quickly reassured her that she definitely would not cause her any pain but that the movements would contradict the girl’s muscles seep away as quickly.

Lexa was extremely cautious and gentle with her touch and Jackson had to tell her a few times to apply more pressure but all in all she learned quickly on what to do. The commander left the medical bay again afterwards leaving Anya again with Clarke in the room.

“Lexa is surprisingly gentle with her” Clarke commented only a few moments after the commander had left. Anya looked at the younger woman inquiringly, did she really think they were only capable of violence and war? “Do you ever think before opening your mouth?” Anya wondered mockingly.

Clarke had the decency to blush slightly under the woman’s scrutinizing gaze realizing how her words must have sounded.

 “Why did you bring me here if your orders were to bring me to TonDC or Polis?” Clarke questioned after a moment of silence.

“Marie needed medical attention none of our healers could have provided and I knew Lexa was still here” Anya answered simply not even turning away from Marie.

Clarke frowned “Why was Lexa here?” her confusion was evident in her voice.

Anya sighed before she turned around facing the younger woman “The commander offered your people assistance to last through the winter”.

“She did?” Clarke echoed clearly perplexed.

Anya nodded mutely waiting for Clarke to say something else as she sensed that the woman still wanted to question her on something else.

“Why would the ice queen need my power?” Clarke asked after another moment of silence.

“To challenge Lexa” Anya explained “The clans would side with Nia immediately if they thought she had Wanheda’s power”. The general noticed Clarke’s slight flinch at the name now irreversibly associated with her person. Lexa had tried stopping the rumour from spreading but her attempts had been futile.

Clarke snorted her eyes glinting angry again “So what is she waiting for?”

Anya furrowed her brow “Waiting to do what exactly?”

“Kill me?” Clarke supplied sarcastically.

The general shook her head at the younger woman surprised by so much idiocy “The commander would not have gone to such length to save you if she had wanted you dead”

“Oh I am sure she has gone out of her way…” Clarke commented her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Anya’s patience snapped again “Why do you think no one in Trikru territory harmed you? The commander had ordered that no harm was fall upon you. Sending out all available scouts to look for you. What do you think would happen when the clans rally with Azgeda?”

The general did not leave Clarke with enough time to find an answer to that question before she snapped “War would break out. The coalition would fall. And believe me Skykru would be the first one the other clans turned to. Your weaponry would make you attractive to all clans”. 

Clarke avoided Anya’s burning gaze clearly uncomfortable.

“You need to start thinking like a leader as you obviously still have not understood what being one entails” Anya said “Lexa never has the luxury of making decisions just for herself. The clans would have killed her themselves had she rejected the Mountain’s deal.”

Clarke looked taken aback by that statement blinking up at the general.

“You may be stupidly brave and stubborn but you clearly lack skills a leader needs” Anya assessed bluntly “How you managed to survive on your own all this weeks is a complete mystery to me”

They were interrupted by Monty entering the medical bay. The Asian boy smiled brightly at Clarke at seeing her awake “Your mother told me you have woken up, I am so glad to see you alive” his voice was honest.

Anya turned back to Marie blocking out the conversation going on between Clarke and the boy. The girl still laid on the bed completely unmoving and Anya felt hopelessness settle inside her mind.

Lexa came back to the medical bay to relieve Anya later telling the general to go and rest for the night. She assured her that she had slept some over the course of the day. Anya noted that Lexa looked visibly calmer again and had chosen to completely ignore Clarke’s presence in the room. The commander asked her to take the wolf cub outside with her giving the animal the possibility to roam freely through the night as it wanted. The general was silently pleased that the cub did not growl at her when she picked it up but accepted her touch willingly.

Anya had just left as Jackson returned to do the last check up on Marie for the night. He instructed Lexa on what she should keep an eye on. The commander asked if he could provide her with warm clean water and something to wash the girl’s body with.

Lexa shrugged out of her coat as the man left to collect what she had asked for. She placed a small bundle with fresh clothes on the chair and patiently waited for him to return.

“Just be careful not to disturb any of the cannulas or tubes” Jackson cautioned as he handed her a bowl with streaming water and a washcloth. He had also brought some soap but Lexa reclined that showing him a soap she had brought she knew Marie liked the smell of. The man nodded at her thoughtfulness giving her a small smile and squeezing her shoulder comfortingly.

Clarke could see Lexa looking at the shoulder Jackson had squeezed strangely, it was obvious that the man had startled her by the gesture and even through the anger that was still present she silently wondered if no one ever offered Lexa any comfort or if her people truly solely saw her as an unwavering symbol of power. The thought somehow made a sad feeling settle in her mind. Turning on her side she watched as Lexa started washing Marie’s limp body. What surprised her was that Lexa seemed to have taken up to humming a low tune under breath as she did so and she noted how gentle the commander’s touches were on the child’s body.

Lexa felt the weight of Clarke’s gaze on her back but she did not turn to meet her eyes. She would respect Clarke’s obvious wish at being left alone by her.

Washing the girl had been relaxing to her as well and lastly she washed the blood from the blond strands of hair she could reach through the bandage wound tightly around Marie’s head turning the water a slight pink as she did so.

Titus had sent her another messenger just before she had returned to the medical pay urging her to come back telling her that her place was in Polis. She had snorted at the message. She did not need her flamekeeper to remind her of her duty. But she had not been there the last time when Marie had been injured she would not leave the girl behind now.

After she had finished with her task she placed the bowl with the water on an empty table and laid the washcloth next to it. She returned to the chair next to Marie’s bed and took her hand into her own. She stared at the girl’s face intently as if she could make her open her eyes by the sheer power of her will.

She was startled from her thoughts by Clarke uttering her name. Lexa squared her shoulders taking a deep breath purposefully hardening her features before she turned around to the other woman simply looking at her.

Clarke had opened her mouth to say something when she noticed the state of Lexa’s face and asked instead “What happened to your face?”

“Nothing serious” Lexa simply answered keeping her tone completely neutral when Clarke kept looking at her with a sceptical expression she added “Anya did not take the news of Marie’s condition well”.

For Clarke that wasn’t enough information but it was clear the commander was unwilling to offer anything else. It angered her how Lexa had obviously mastered to completely hide her emotions again preferring to see the affects her words had on the other woman. But she wondered why Lexa had obviously let herself been beaten up by Anya just so that she could vent some tension. A sentence Anya had said to her earlier kept bugging at her mind.

“Would they have really killed you if you had rejected the deal?” Clarke asked her voice probing.

Lexa sighed pondering her options shortly before she said “Probably. But accepting the deal could have led to the same outcome. My people were angry I denied them their right for blood.”

Clarke furrowed her brow “But they would not kill their leader like that?”

Lexa could not contain the snort at that “I am merely the vessel of the commander. There have been commanders before me and another will rise after I fall. I am easily replaceable.”

A shiver ran down Clarke’s spine at the way Lexa had answered her tone completely void of emotion as if merely discussing the weather. Lexa surely already had given her some things to think through.

The commander turned around again her body already aching slightly from sitting upright. By the huge dark bruise covering the left side of her ribs she was sure Anya had probably cracked a rib or two earlier. She unlaced her boots and shimmied out of her trouser climbing up onto the bed with Marie and gathering her smaller body tightly against her just as she would if the girl were merely suffering from a nightmare.

Lexa was lost in thought as she gently let her fingers glide over the girl’s back under the covers. Clarke had turned around a long time ago and judging by her evened out breathing had already fallen asleep.

She had not expected the other girl to address her again. She had no idea what Anya might have said to her through the day but she would remember to thank her nevertheless later.

Unbidden Lexa felt herself fall asleep some time later again. Sometime later she woke again with Marie still held firmly to her chest. She sighed lowly slightly disappointed that cuddling did not seem to have worked beneficially at all.

She carefully stretched her body somewhat feeling a painful slash in her chest at the movement. Letting her fingers glide over Marie’s back up to her neck and smoothing some of her free hair out she was surprised to find the hair somewhat sticky.

Startled she brought the fingers to her nose smelling at them and panicking when she smelt blood on them in the darkness of the room. She quickly turned the girl around onto her back entangling herself from the smaller body. Lexa did not think about dressing as she searched blindly for the light Jackson shown her standing on the table next to the bed.

When she finally found the switch the sight that greeted her made her emit a low pitched scream. Marie’s crisp white bandage was tinted red and blood was flowing from her ears beneath the bandage.


	82. Chapter 82

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 81  
> Anya tries to talk some more sense into Clarke explaining why Lexa wanted to have her rescued. Lexa washes Marie and Clarke wants to know what would have happened if she rejected the deal. Lexa cuddles to Marie and when she wakes up the girl is bleeding again from her ears.

Chapter 82

The scream Lexa emitted had woken Clarke instantly sitting up in the bed startled.

Lexa stood in front of Marie’s bed staring down at her bloodied fingers in disbelieve horror etched deeply into her features.

Clarke carelessly ripped the cannula connecting her to an infusion from her arm. Her legs felt weak as she hurried over to the other bed.

A guard came bursting into the room summoned by the scream and switched on the lights in the whole medical bay.

In just that moment Marie’s body started to convulse heavily and the machines she was connected to started blaring with shrill alarm sounds.

Clarke’s medical training kicked in and she moved to stabilize the girl’s head while the seizures lasted. She turned to Lexa who still stood next to the bed seemingly paralyzed “Get my mother!” Clarke voice was urgent and shrill and snapped Lexa out of her haze. The girl’s state was dire and Clarke’s medical training not enough to help her.

The commander hurried from the room still barefoot and clad only in shorts and her shirt. The guard had already left to retrieve Jackson whose quarters were in the other direction and closer to the medical bay.

The doors to Abby’s quarters were closed and Lexa pounded against them forcefully. The doors glided open a moment later to reveal a disgruntled looking Markus Kane. The man stood frozen for a second with his mouth opened as he took in the commander; blood smeared on her fingers, only half dressed and obviously shaking.

Abby appeared a second later behind him but the woman knew immediately that something was wrong with Marie shoving past Markus and hurrying in the direction of the medical bay. Lexa followed the woman quickly she could not seem to stop the shaking in her fingers as she looked down at the girl’s blood straining them red.

The next minutes passed in a blurred chaos to Lexa. The guard seemed to have thought to notify Anya and the woman came rushing into the medical bay only moments after Abby entered.

Abby and Jackson were occupied trying to fight against the seizures still wracking the girl’s body twisting it in bizarre ways.

Anya’s eyes widened almost comically as she took in the scene. The guard who had awoken her had not said what was wrong just that she needed to come quickly. A small part of her had hoped Marie had woken up and she was crestfallen to see the opposite.

The general stood next to Lexa who had remained in the entrance her gaze focused on her bloodied fingers.

As Anya gently took her outstretched hand Lexa flinched away heavily as if snapped out of a trance. Her green eyes were wide as she looked at Anya “I had fallen asleep…” the words were laden with so much raw sorrow that Anya had to swallow against the lump in her throat.

Just to do something Anya cleaned Lexa’s fingers off of the blood with the water that still stood on the table and forced the commander down onto an empty chair. The younger woman was shaking almost violently and was pale.

Clarke had been shooed away from her mother and slowly approached them looking Lexa over “She has fallen into shock” she assessed lowly worry in her blue eyes. The blonde leader had never seen the commander like this so far away from the unwavering force she portrayed all the time.

Now that her fingers had been washed clean Lexa’s gaze had returned to Marie’s bed and she still could not stop her fingers from shaking, she felt the blood rushing loudly in her ears.

“She needs to lay down” Clarke said to Anya knowing that addressing Lexa in person would probably not work.

Anya nodded and pulled Lexa from the chair guiding her to an empty bed and forcing her down and even covering her with a blanket. Clarke pulled a curtain to hinder the commander from watching her mother and Jackson work on the girl.

The general knew that she could not offer any kind of assistance to the doctors trying to save Marie’s life. The realization settled into her that they may not succeed this time with a painful lump in her throat. She stayed with Lexa instead speaking softly to her in their native tongue.

Clarke had fetched a glass filled with an unknown liquid and passed it over to the older woman telling her that the commander needed to drink. She accepted the glass and helped Lexa to drink the substance. Clarke had returned to her own bed deeply uncomfortable with seeing Lexa like this.

It seemed to take forever for focus to return to Lexa’s green eyes and she instantly sat back up when it did. _“They are still operating?”_ she asked Anya immediately.

The general nodded with a heavy heart. _“Do you prefer to wait here?”_ Anya questioned knowing that they both did not enjoy the atmosphere of the sterile room and that the familiar surroundings of their tent might offer more comfort but Lexa nodded unwilling to leave.

Clarke had turned onto her side glancing over at the commander and Anya. Lexa’s green eyes connected with hers for a moment and she was shocked at the haunted sorrowful look in them.

_“Can you get me my clothes?”_ Lexa requested from Anya and dressed again after the general fetched them for her. She remained standing back rigid and shoulders drawn in a tense line.

Abby and Jackson had finished the actual operation stopping the source of the new bleeding and had made another scan with the machine from the Mountain.

Their expression already told both of them what had been the outcome. Lexa felt the strength drain from her body and she sunk onto the bed while Anya covered her face with her hands.

After a moment Lexa stood again from the bed and went around the curtain. Marie looked unchanged still connected to the machine breathing for her. The bandage had been changed and was now clean again. Lexa’s eyes were sad and misted with tears as she addressed Jackson with a wavering voice “What has changed?”

The man swallowed before he answered “The new bleeding has destroyed essential parts of her brain. If we switch off the artificial ventilation she will die in a few moments.”

Lexa felt a tear slide down her cheek as she grasped her limp fingers to hold the girl’s hand one last time.

“I am sorry” the man said his voice honest and eyes sad.

“We will leave you to say your goodbyes” Abby offered her voice kinder than Lexa had ever heard.

Anya had stood from the chair and now stood back next to Lexa. She felt as if she was suffocating under the sudden pressure on her chest and she had not even noticed that she was actually crying as well.

Jackson still hovered behind them uncertain as they had not reacted to their words yet.

“The switch just needs to be flicked?” Lexa asked her voice wooden and hollow dreading what had to be done.

The man nodded wanting to offer to do it for them but the words died on his tongue at the glare he received from the commander her eyes seemed to burn in the artificial light of the medical bay. He simply nodded again mutely and turned to give them some privacy.

“A switch?!” Lexa’s voice sounded almost hysterical by now. She would have liked nothing better than to just wait for Marie to open her eyes again, letting this machine breathe for her until she could again.

Anya bent over Marie’s form pressing a kiss to her forehead and said _“Your fight is over, my little star”_. A few tears fell from Anya’s cheeks onto Marie’s face leaving glistening tracks in their wake. She stepped back slightly her hand wavering in front of the piece of plastic that would ultimately kill Marie not quiet bringing herself to actually touch it.

Lexa squeezed her hand shaking her head mutely telling her that she would do it. The commander was powerless to stop the sob escaping her mouth as she laid her fingers on the switch. Pressing her eyes closed and feeling more tears slide down her face soundlessly she turned the switch.

Another sob teared from her throat as she did the only thing that made sense right now, namely throw her arms around Anya who quickly enveloped her. She could feel her larger body shaking slightly under the force of her own tears.

Clarke had turned to watch what was going on and felt her own eyes mist over with tears. She wanted to stand up and offer them consolation but she doubted it would be welcome.

Lexa did not look down again as she stepped back out of Anya’s arms. Her face hardened again in the blink of seconds only her eyes still showing some of the sorrow she obviously felt.

Anya straightened herself as well watching Lexa donning her calm mask of the commander but her gaze still travelled down to Marie’s body.

“We will take her body back to Polis” Lexa proclaimed her voice sounding foreign but unwavering in its force. Both Abby and Jackson were quiet obviously shaken by the commander’s reaction and at the speed her sorrow was masked. “We leave for Polis in the hour” she addressed Anya waiting for her acknowledgment.

The woman glared at them daring them to object but the doctors remained silent. Lexa nodded once to them and swept from the room without even glancing at Clarke.

Anya remained standing next to Marie’s bed for a moment longer and she gently took her hand into hers for one last time as new tears gathered in her eyes. Blinking them away Anya squeezed the girl’s hand just once and just as she wanted to let go she felt the faintest pressure coming from Marie’s hand.

The general sucked in a startled breath looking down at Marie’s hand in disbelieve. She already thought she had imagined the girl squeezing back when her fingers moved again slightly.

Suddenly the girl started to cough. Jackson whirled around having stayed waiting to prepare the girl’s body for the commander to take with them.

“That is impossible” the man uttered staring down at the girl with widened eyes.

“What is happening?” Anya questioned bewildered as the girl’s coughs increased.

“She is breathing” he said springing into action to remove the tubes from the artificial ventilation from her body hindering her natural breathing to a huge degree.

He reconnected the girl to the machine recording her vital signs and was shaking his head at the things as it clearly showed a strong heartbeat and a healthy pulse.

The man hurried from the room calling loudly behind Abby who had wanted to rest for the rest of the night. The commander still stood at the end of the corridor speaking to one of her own guards already ordering their camp to be dismantled immediately.

Lexa turned back when she heard Jackson calling Clarke’s mother back. She left the confused guard behind also returning to the medical bay with quick hurried strides.

Anya stood next to Marie’s bed and was looking down at the girl with a disbelieving smile. Lexa scrunched her brow as she thought to see the girl’s chest rising and falling as if she was breathing.

“ _You are not imagining things, Lexa”_ Anya addressed her; her voice lighter again _“She is breathing again”_

Lexa’s eyes widened as she stepped fully into the room. Jackson and Abby were examining the girl checking her reflexes. Both were completely perplexed as they seemed to have restored completely. They wanted to repeat the scan they had done just after the last operation and Lexa just nodded for them to proceed.

They waited until they had finished and brought the girl back to the bed. Both doctors stood in front of a monitor and were absolutely baffled at what they saw. The areas of the girl’s brain which had clearly been destroyed had wondrously healed not even showing any kind of scarification.

“What is it?” Lexa finally asked feeling utterly strained.

Abby shook her head still unable to wrap her mind about what had happened “She is completely healthy. I have absolutely no idea how that is possible, but her scans look completely normal again”.

“So she will wake?” Lexa asked her voice sounding desperately hopeful now.

Abby nodded with a smile lightening her face “I don’t know exactly when, as this is bound to have dwindled her strength, but yes, she will wake”.

The doctors both excused themselves for the rest of the night but wanted to be notified should something change again.

Anya was arguing lowly with Lexa to go back outside and rest. The commander looked ready to collapse at this point. Her features were drawn with exhaustion and she seemed caught between the desire to cry and laugh at once.

Lexa shook her head firmly _“I want to be here when she wakes up_ ”.

With a sigh Anya nodded but she pointed to the bed next to Marie’s _“Then at least sleep here. I will wake you as soon as something changes”._

Lexa finally followed her suggestion although she obviously had not wanted to when it looked as if she would fall from the chair while falling asleep next to Marie’s bed. After only a moment of closing her eyes the commander’s breathing evened out succumbing to the exhaustion.

Anya smiled softly at the younger woman and covered her body with a blanket before she turned back to Marie’s bed. She was unsure if she should be holding the girl’s hand again or simply wait for her to wake on her own.

In the end she did gently gather the girl’s hand back into her own and even though they still were slack to her touch it seemed to her that some tension had returned to them.

Silently she wondered at the seemingly impossible healing of such an injury. Maybe it was possible for Marie to heal her own injuries but only if they were life threatening and the healing did not happen consciously?

She was still convinced that the girl’s condition was caused by Marie healing the gash on her arm after she had killed the bounty hunters. They desperately needed to know more about the strange powers the child seemed to possess. But Anya was already convinced it would be best for all of them if Marie simply refrained from using them altogether.

Anya waited patiently for Marie’s condition to change somewhat and when it finally did she was almost relived to recognize the tell-tale signs of a starting nightmare in the girl.

Lexa seemed to have only dozed lightly and was instantly awake when the girl started to toss even slightly under the covers. The commander sat up abruptly looking over to Marie and quickly standing from the bed, with a frown she noticed that she had still been wearing her boots in the bed.

“ _She is dreaming_?” Lexa wondered lowly to Anya.

The general looked up at her with a strange expression on her face as she answered “ _Obviously. I would have never thought to be happy about seeing her have nightmares again_.”

Lexa snorted under her breath but as the girl’s tossing got more violent with each passing moment they tried to wake the girl for good addressing her softly.

The commander gently let her fingers glide over her cheek while Anya squeezed her hand more forcefully.

After a few more moments Marie finally quieted again before her grey eyes fluttered open for good.

Marie looked slightly confused as she looked between both of them and recognized the Ark’s medical bay. Both Anya and Lexa were looking down at her strangely, both showing a mixture of deep grief with absolute happiness.

“What happened?” the girl rasped her voice gruff and hoarse from disuse.

“Ssshhh” Lexa soothed the girl immediately wanting one of the doctors to check her over first just to be on the save side. Anya had caught up with her train of thought obviously and quickly left the room.

Lexa just stared down at the girl with a smile on her face and to her surprise tears in her eyes. Marie’s expression was confused as she saw a tear slide down the commander’s face.

Carefully she stretched out her fingers brushing the tear from her cheek while she idly wondered why the simply movement of her arm felt so strenuous now. She tried to remember what had happened scrunching up her brow in thought.

Lexa looked alarmed as she noticed the grimace on the girl’s face “Are you in any kind of pain?” she immediately wanted to know slightly panicked.

“No” Marie reassured coughing slightly, speaking was obviously difficult as well and her throat felt raw and hurt.

Jackson and Abby both returned with Anya. Marie was even more confused when they welcomed her back looking between all the adults in utter bewilderment.

Abby quickly checked the girl over making sure that everything was alright with her. The only thing the girl said was that her throat hurt and that her body felt strangely heavy. The doctor told her that was expected from the mechanical ventilation and that her body was simply exhausted. Marie mutely wondered why she did require ventilation at all.

The woman gave her something to drink to sooth her throat but swallowing by itself already hurt. Abby reassured both Anya and Lexa who were obviously worried about that, that the tube had just scratched open some tissue in her throat which would regulate itself without help in a few days. The girl should only take care to keep hydrated.

“So she can leave to our tent?” Lexa checked after Abby had finished her examination. The older woman sighed but nodded “I would have liked to have her under supervision for a longer period of time. But if I can check her over again in the morning and in a few days she should be fine”.

Jackson gently removed all the connections to the machines from Marie’s body and she was ready to leave. Anya simply swept the girl up into her arms startling her slightly and carried her outside closely followed by Lexa.

All Marie was feeling was still prominently confusion when Anya laid her down on a bunch of furs in their tent. She still could not remember what had happened at all no matter how hard she tried.

Risha immediately climbed up her chest licking at her face in obvious joy at seeing her human again distracting Marie from her thoughts. Giggling slightly at the feeling of the wolf’s wet tongue on her face Marie shoved the cub a few inches down her body. She stretched slightly and yawned.

When Anya asked her if she felt alright Marie nodded stating that she was just tired. The woman nodded telling her to sleep then. Both of them watched as Marie’s breathing evened out quickly and they both stared at the girl’s chest rising and falling rhythmical for long moments before they were convinced she would not suddenly cease breathing.


	83. Chapter 83

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 82  
> Marie suffers from a new aneurysm and Lexa has a nervous breakdown. The doctors tell them that Marie’s brain is irresistibly damaged making it impossible for her to wake up. Lexa is the one to switch off the ventilation system. Anya feels the girl squeezing back on her hand before she starts to breathe again. Abby can only say that Marie is completely healthy again and they return to their tent with a confused girl.

Chapter 83

Finding sleep was nearly impossible for Lexa this night. She felt the unquenchable need to make sure that Marie continued to breathe fearing that if she only closed her eyes for a second the girl would have already died. The commander kept her eyes focused solely on Marie not having blown out all the candles around the tent she was still able to clearly see the little movements of her chest.

Her eyes burnt from the strain she put on them trying hard not to blink at all. Anya’s breathing had evened out sometime ago and Lexa was the only one keeping watch over them. She could not ban the flashes of herself flicking the switch and stopping the ventilation keeping Marie alive from her mind no matter how hard she tried.

Lexa thought she understood slightly better now how tormenting the flicking of a switch could be as her thoughts drifted back to Clarke. It angered herself that she had completely lost herself in the medical bay. The only one who had ever seen her this exposed and weak had been Anya after Costia’s head had been delivered to her bed.

Luna’s words at the festivities in Polis came back to her mind and she looked at the girl lying next to her eyes with soft eyes. The girl’s skin thankfully had lost its deathly pale reflexion and her cheeks were a healthy rosy colour again. Luna had been correct in her assessment that Marie meant much more to them than a simple second should. She had thought Luna had wanted to imply a threat to Marie’s life back then but now she understood that watching this girl die would also destroy a part of Anya and herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Marie’s face scrunched up and the girl started to toss and turn obviously the beginning signs of a nightmare. Risha who had still been lying on the girl’s chest also asleep was awoken by the movements of the body under her own and crawled down Marie’s body rolling herself in a tight ball at the foot of the bed.

Lexa gently touched the girl’s shoulders shaking them slightly in order to wake her. Her grey eyes flew open almost instantly sitting up in the bunch of furs gasping for breath.

“It was just a dream” Lexa reassured Marie her voice soft and low trying not to wake Anya. The last days had been taxing to both of them physically as well as emotionally.

Tears suddenly gathered in Marie’s grey eyes as she vehemently shook her head. Her voice was still gruff and speaking seemed to be causing her some pain “No … no, I couldn’t …”

“Ssshh” Lexa soothed the upset girl pulling her smaller body into a tight embrace. She let her hand glide over the girl’s back in a circular motion and Marie seemed to press her head to Lexa’s chest immediately listening to her strong heartbeat.

She probed herself up against the headboard of the bed and gathered a fur around Marie’s body making sure to keep her warm as she waited for the girl to calm down. Lexa could still feel the girl’s body shaking slightly and she felt the front of her shirt getting moist with the tears the girl was shedding almost inaudibly.

Lexa felt herself shuddering involuntary at the thought that only hours ago they had both been sure they would be bringing Marie’s body back to Polis to burn on a pyre having watched her draw her last breath.

No matter how quiet Lexa had tried to keep the girl Anya still was woken by the slight sounds. The woman’s brown eyes were tired when she looked over them. She quickly assessed that Lexa was already handling the situation and simply rolled over turning her back to them clearly intent on continuing to sleep.

Lexa quietly stood from the bed keeping Marie’s body wrapped in the fur against her chest and feeling the girl coiling her legs around her hip as if on instinct Lexa stepped behind the curtain separating the sleeping area from the rest of the tent.

Her bare feet were slightly cold against the floor of the tent as the weather was quickly getting colder now. The way Marie clung to her the commander wondered if the girl actually remembered what had happened or if she had simply caught on with the way both of them had reacted to her.

“Do you want a tea?” Lexa offered hoping that a tea with honey would help at least a little against the girl’s raw throat.

She felt Marie nodding her head against her chest although the girl remained silent winding her arms around Lexa’s neck. Lexa momentarily tightened her hold over the girl’s body in silent reassurance. Stocking the fire back to life was proving more difficult than she had anticipated with Marie in her arms. Lexa noticed quickly that she would impossibly be able to heat water and pour some in a cup without burning either herself or Marie.

Getting the girl to sit on a chair also took her a few moments of a great deal of persuasion as Marie was reluctant to let go of her. Lexa wanted to ask the girl what her dreams had been about but only after she had finished the tea sensing that Marie might need more physically reassurance.

The moments until the water was heated enough passed in silence and just as Lexa poured water over herbs in a cup and immediately added honey to it Marie suddenly spoke her voice low and unsure “Will you really show me the ocean?”

Lexa nearly dropped the cup in shock at the question. She felt her throat constrict painfully at the thought that Marie might have caught what was going on around her the whole time unable to wake up. She put the cup on a table next to Marie and crouched down in front of the girl meeting the girl’s grey eyes with her own “You remember?”

Marie nodded her face falling as she did. She pulled the furs tighter around her body before she spoke “I heard you and Anya” the girl stopped her brow furrowed as if in deep thought “but you both seemed so far away”.

“You had a bleeding in your brain, Marie” Lexa explained carefully trying to remember the word Abby and Jackson had used for it, when she remembered the term she added “An aneurysm Abby called it”.

Marie looked up as if trying to look inside her head and as she did so her face pulled into an adorable grimace and Lexa was unable to stop a quiet chuckle at the sight. The smile slipped from her face when Marie resumed speaking clutching the fur so tightly her knuckles were white under her skin “I was sooo cold … and I could not concentrate … I tried to say something … but my body just did not move … no matter how hard I screamed …”. The girl’s words were strained and hard to understand and felt like a slap to Lexa’ face mind flashing back to flicking the switch.

She gently wiped away the tears still falling from Marie’s grey eyes squeezing the girl’s shoulder as she stood and passed the cup over to her.

The words the girl uttered next felt like they wanted to tear her heart apart. “I am sorry for almost leaving” the girl’s eyes were so openly expressing her guilt that Lexa could do nothing but shake her head swallowing against the lump in her throat. The commander felt the need to say _“I am sorry for almost making you leave”_ but she swallowed the words down before they could leave her mouth.

Silence settled between them when Marie’s eyes flashed and she looked up again “Has Clarke survived?”

The commander nodded touched that even though the girl had nearly died herself only hours ago – or had she actually been dead for a few moments? – She thought to inquire about Clarke.

“I had tried to heal her” Marie uttered looking down at the cup in her hands her face drawn with concentration.

“It is alright” Lexa was quick to quell the girl’s worry “We still do not know enough about your strange powers”.

But Marie shook her head again “No, I remember trying to heal her. Real hard … and then … everything became hazy …”

Something clicked in Lexa’s mind and she looked down at the girl with a sudden realization. “Did you feel strange after you healed Anya? Or after you healed me in Polis?” she questioned crouching down in front of the girl again.

Marie immediately shook her head in the negative “No. It was easy to heal Anya…” the girl’s words trailed off again.

Lexa was almost absolutely sure now that healing Anya had not caused her to pass out but rather trying too hard to heal Clarke and failing at that. She would discuss with Anya what she thought about the matter later. She silently wondered why the girl was obviously able to heal herself and Anya but had failed to heal Clarke. Lexa first thought the girl might only be able to heal wounds she herself had inflicted when she remember that Anya’s arm had been injured by one of the bounty hunters and the wound had not been life threatening either. She shook her head slightly stopping her silent mussing as there was no sense in trying to solve this riddle when she clearly had no solution.

“You have to promise something to me, Marie” Lexa addressed the girl her voice serious and calm.

The girl instantly looked up at her and nodded indicating she listened.

“Do not try to heal anyone anymore” Lexa demanded her eyes burning their intensity and when the girl opened her mouth to interject something the commander added “If you notice that your power does not answer to you on your first attempt, stop immediately” her voice was strong and demanding leaving no room for discussion.

Marie’s eyes widened as she understood that Lexa was convinced her aneurysm and her failed attempt to heal Clarke were connected and she nodded immediately again.

When the girl rubbed at her temples Lexa was immediately alarmed “Do you have a headache?” she questioned instantly taking the girl’s hands away from her face inspecting her head to look for any new possible bleedings.

Marie quickly shook her head looking slightly sheepish as she did so.

After Marie had finished the cup of tea Lexa urged their charge to go back to bed. Abby had told them the girl would need more rest and they would make sure she got plenty of that.

When it was clear that Marie had problems falling asleep but tried to keep still under the furs trying to let Anya sleep undisturbed Lexa urged the girl to cuddle up to her softly humming the lullaby to her she already had in the medical bay. Lexa hazily remembered one of her parents singing the same tune to her in what felt like an eternity ago, she had forgotten if the lullaby had any text but the melody had stuck in her mind. The melody seemed to work in soothing Marie’s obviously restless mind and her breathing evened out once again her head lying on Lexa’s chest.

The morning dawned too quickly to Anya’s liking and she still felt exhausted when the wolf jumping from the bed and leaving the tent awoke her. The general turned over and saw Marie cuddle to Lexa her head lying on the woman’s chest and both still soundly asleep and she felt her eyes soften.

The feeling of being watched woke Lexa from her own sleep and her green eyes connected with Anya’s brown ones instantly. Finding the time to talk to Anya now as good as any other Lexa lowly retold to her former mentor what the girl had remembered last night. She watched a flash of relief pass over Anya’s features as she told her that healing her arm had most definitely not caused Marie’s condition.

The girl woke up with a yawn just as Lexa had finished telling Anya everything and the girl was startled when Anya immediately made her promise not to heal anyone in the next time not even herself or Lexa. They both knew the girl would probably not keep her promise up if one of them would be seriously wounded though.

They both kept a very close eye on the girl the whole morning watching her every move and it was obviously irritating the girl slightly. The guard who brought them breakfast did not know the commander’s second personally but all of them were relieved to hear that the girl was obviously back to full health.

Even though Marie claimed to feel absolutely fine save for her throat Lexa demanded that she actually did go to the medical bay to get the check up from Abby. If Titus did not sent another messenger this day Lexa would even wait the time Abby wanted to look the girl over again. She knew that once they had left Arkadia no one would be able to help Marie should she somehow suffer from a relapse.

The girl grumbled slightly on the way to the medical bay but followed Lexa and Anya obediently. Both Abby and Jackson were already waiting for them.

Clarke was still in the bed she had been in the previous night. The blonde woman smiled a kind smile at Marie as the girl waved to her. She observed how both Lexa and Anya seemed to hover constantly around the girl as if she might just fall over any second and were watching her mother and Jackson checking the girl over critically.

“We would like to discuss something with you later, commander” Abby addressed the younger woman officially as the Ark’s chancellor. Lexa nodded her face stoic and back rigid but her eyes never left Marie not even for a moment.

In Clarke’s opinion the way Anya and Lexa were obviously treating Marie was rather cute but she doubted either of them would be pleased to hear that.

Abby lastly unwounded the bandage around Marie’s head. The wounds which had been made for the invasive procedure were very small and barely noticeable under her hair. But Abby made sure that both Lexa and Anya were aware that the wounds as small as they may seem from the outside reached inside the girl’s head and that the bone protecting her brain would need time to heal which meant that they would need to be careful she did not fall on her head or the whole bone might crack under pressure.

Surprisingly it was Marie herself who inquired how she should be progressing with her training then. Abby arched a brow at the girl’s annoyed tone “You may train” she said and when she was the girl’s features light up she was quick to clarify “In a few days, after you had had more rest. And you need to make sure not be knocked over the head or to fall on hard surfaces”.

Both Anya and Lexa nodded that they understood as the doctor switched her gaze to them. Abby made a few more tests with Marie intrigued that all her reflexes were restored and only the small wounds from the operation remained as testament of her near death experience.

The chancellor officially invited the commander to the council meeting that was bound to start any minute. She had connected Marie to some kind of machine to detect her brain activities just checking that they were not overlooking something and the test should run for a few hours efficiently making the girl stay in the medical bay as well.

The commander accepted the invitation to the meeting and left with Abby. Jackson remained behind to change the bandage on Clarke’s wound while Anya stayed to keep Marie company.

It was clear the girl was bored being stuck in the bed with nothing to do. “Can you tell me about Lexa’s early training?” Marie asked in a hopeful tone.

Anya shot her down immediately “No” was her simple answer.

Marie pouted up at the woman but she was simply ignored.

“Can you tell me another story then?” the girl pleaded with her mentor.

Anya shook her head “You should be resting”.

“I am bored” the girl exclaimed loudly as Anya glared down at her.

“We can repeat your lesson on the tax system then” she suggested although she knew the girl would not want to as she had hated that particular lesson.

Marie pulled a face at that just as Anya had predicted and crossed her arms over her chest with a pout on her face.

Anya shook her head at the girl’s childish antics her eyes glaring half-heartily at her but the half-smile pulling at her own lips belied her reprimand.

Clarke found the way Marie was trying to manipulate the woman amusing and cute on a level she had not expected. Somehow she had expected the relationship between Marie and both of her mentors to be restricted to teaching her their ways mostly teaching her how to fight. She had not expected the gentleness with which both of them had handled the girl while she was in a coma but somehow watching Anya interacting now with her was completely different. For some reason she had anticipated for grounders to treat children around them like small adults with the same seriousness they carried around each other. Seeing now how Anya took the girl’s childish antics in stride as if she was used to them already made her review the picture she had painted in her mind about the grounders even more then their grief had the previous night.

She was surprised when Marie suddenly called out her name. Before the girl could say anything else Anya growled something at the girl in their native tongue from which Clarke understood nothing.

_“No one must know of your powers”_ the woman had reminded Marie quickly her voice as sharp as ever _“Remember that”._

The girl had looked chastised for a moment before she nodded mumbling “ _I had just wanted to tell her that I am glad she is well”._

Clarke was surprised that the girl was obviously already able to perfectly speak and understand the language still so foreign to her.

The general had nodded at Marie with a relieved expression and the girl had repeated her words in English voice soft and smiling kindly as she did. Clarke had thanked her taken aback slightly by her concern.


	84. Chapter 84

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 83  
> Lexa comforts Marie after a nightmare and is shocked to hear that the girl seems to have caught much as she laid in the coma. She concludes that Marie’s failed attempt at healing Clarke was the source of her aneurysm. Marie is left in the medical bay with Anya while Lexa joins a Council Meeting. Clarke is surprised to watch how Anya and Marie interact.

Chapter 84

In the end Marie fell asleep after Anya had ignored her for long enough silencing her with a glare every time she tried to get her mentor’s attention.

Clarke chuckled slightly as Anya gently tucked the covers more securely around the girl “I never pictured you to be good with kids” she had spoken quicker than her thoughts had caught up with and clamped her mouth shut at the deathly glare the blonde woman threw her way.

After a last glance at Marie sleeping peacefully the woman silently stood from the chair and came over to Clarke the glare still on her face “You truly never think before you speak?” Anya sneered at the younger woman.

“It’s just …” Clarke desperately searched for words to express the contradiction the grounders were to her.

“Do you think educating a second is just about beating them black and blue until they learn how to fight, hammer strategical thinking into them from dawn until sun set?” the general asked glaring down at Clarke towering over her.

Clarke was left speechless under the force of her brown eyes and she knew she had deeply affronted the woman with her words. But she had not meant them as an insult at all.

“No, I apologize that I offended you” Clarke quickly tried to reassure the woman.

Anya merely huffed her glare still intense “You still have absolute no idea about our culture” she settled on.

Clarke sighed but nodded after a moment as she could not deny that. She thought she knew all there was to know about the grounders, violence and war, but the longer she watched them the stronger she knew that her view of the grounders was blindsided by the rage she felt for being betrayed by Lexa.

“I had simply not thought that she would be so close to you” Clarke tried to express some of what she had noticed.

Anya snorted at that “Of course she is. If you take up a second you become their family. You spent your whole time with them, day and night. You watch as they grow into the warriors they can be under your tutelage.”

Clarke thought about the general’s words for a moment as her mind came up with scenes of how Lexa’s early life might have looked like with Anya. She quickly shook those thoughts from her head “I had not thought you would share a sleeping place”.

Anya shortly glanced back to Marie “She is too young to be left on her own. But you are right partly, not all seconds share such a strong bond with their firsts.”

As if speaking to herself Clarke said surprising Anya with the sudden change of topic “Before the Mountain Lexa invited me to Polis”

Anya was silent as she waited for Clarke to finish.

“She said it would change the way I think about your people” Clarke finally said breathing deep to chase away her dark thoughts.

Anya nodded “I am sure you would be surprised by Polis” folding her arms over her chest.

“How so?” Clarke asked clearly interested.

“Polis is the capitol now. A place of peace. You would find it very different from TonDC” Anya said simply not elaborating.

The sound of footsteps approaching the medical bay made the general turn from Clarke’s bed and Lexa entered a moment later her brow raised in question to Anya at seeing the woman by Clarke’s side.

Abby followed closely after the commander and Jackson showed her the result of Clarke’s last blood test which showed complete clearance of the blood poisoning from her system. The woman smiled at her daughter “You are free to go, Clarke”.  The blonde let out a relieved sigh and instantly stood from the bed. Her blue eyes connected with Lexa’s for long tense moments before the commander turned away and Clarke left the medical bay without another word.

Anya sighed under her breath already dreading the confrontation that was bound to happen between both leaders.

Abby looked at the recording of Marie’s brain activity and found it completely normal. She still had no logical explanation as to how the girl had healed. The doctor told Anya and Lexa that Marie seemed absolutely healthy again save for the little holes in her head from the operation but that she could not understand how that was possible. When Abby started to mention that she would like to do some deeper tests with the girl’s blood and cells trying to figure out what had triggered the sudden healing both woman exchanged uneasy glances. For both of their tastes what Abby was suggesting sounded way too similar to what the Mountain had done to their people for ages.

“Does she need another check-up?” Lexa stopped Abby’s enumeration of what she could test.

The doctor blinked once at being interrupted like that but she shook her head “I doubt that is necessary. If she is still here in three days I would just repeat the shorter scans”.

Lexa nodded while Anya gently shook the girl awake.

“She will tire more quickly for a few days and needs rest for her body to build up its reserves again” Abby said as Anya offered her hand to the girl to stand up from the bed “And truly be cautious of her hitting her head”.

The commander nodded with a serious expression and they left the medical bay again.

Gustus and Indra were standing in front of the commander’s tent Octavia shadowing the dark skinned warrior unobtrusively. The guard smiled kindly at the girl his dark eyes softened as he saw Marie walking again obviously still tired but on her own feet. The guard who brought breakfast to the commander’s tent had had already spread news that the commander’s second had recovered but no one had known exactly what had been wrong with the girl in the first place.

“When are we leaving, Heda?” Indra asked eager to leave Arkadia and head back to TonDC.

“We will not leave to Polis for a few days longer” Lexa answered simply and added “But your unit is free to return to TonDC to prepare for the cold season”.

The village chief nodded quickly instructing Octavia to relay the order to her unit that they would leave at first light the following day and to prepare ahead. The young brunette woman nodded and left to execute her firsts’ order.

“You should go inside and lie down” Anya said to Marie giving her a gentle shove in the direction of the tent flap. Marie gave her an innocent look clearly not impressed with the suggestion and when Anya kept on looking at the tent Marie switched her focus to Lexa. The commander thinned her lips slightly shaking her head at the girl. Marie dropped her innocent look and entered the tent with a heavy pout on her face. Lexa chuckled slightly when the girl was out of side she had previously already noticed that Marie had taken up the habit of trying to manipulate her into allowing something Anya already had forbidden or getting her to contradict Anya’s orders.

Lexa was not necessarily convinced that just because the girl had went into the tent meant that she had actually followed Anya’s order at all. She was proven correctly when she asked all three of them to follow her into her tent, wanting to discuss with them what she had just spoken about with the council from Skykru.

Marie sat on one of the chairs Risha at her feet on the ground and she smiled while she played with the wolf cub.

Anya narrowed her eyes at the girl as her grey eyes snapped to them when they entered the tent looking just like a deer caught in a trap and guiltily biting at her lip. The general mutely pointed at the curtain to the sleeping area and Marie scurried to her feet quickly hastening to obey the woman’s demand now.

Risha looked behind the girl as she hurried away her head cocked sideways and actually growling slightly at Anya before the cub quickly followed the girl. The general looked less then amused as her eyes narrowed at the small animal retreating behind the curtain.

Lexa suppressed a smirk at the sight and cleared her throat retelling what the council had wanted from her. The chancellor and Markus Kane had proposed to move a small portion of their people to the Mountain to build a medical facility there intended for all the clans.

Anya snorted at the idea her skin already crawling at the mere thought of having to return to that place. She doubted anyone of their people would have a different opinion.

“I have already rejected their proposition” Lexa reassured her general noticing the silent dissent on all of their faces “I know that our people would never willingly go to the Mountain to seek out medical care. But we have sort of reached a compromise. Skykru will enter the Mountain once with a large group, accompanied by myself to gather all they might find useful and afterwards the Mountain will be sealed, banned from entering the place ever again.”

“What about the weapons?” Indra asked cautiously. TonDC was near to Arkadia and she felt uneasy with the prospect of Skykru garnering even more guns.

Lexa shook her head “They were not part of the compromise. No weapons are to leave the Mountain. That is why Skykru will not enter the Mountain alone but rather under supervision”.

Anya and Indra nodded their acceptance in unison.

Lexa waited a moment “I have not spoken to their Council yet, but I plan to propose to Skykru to join the coalition.”

Silence met her words and the commander watched them intently trying to assess their reactions to her plan. Lexa already knew that Titus would not back her up on her plan and she also knew that at least half of the clans would not openly accept Skykru among them. But she highly doubted it would be long for conflict to break out between Skykru and the clans of the coalition if they were not all subjected to the same laws. A simple trade treaty and a ceasefire which was now the only thing binding Skykru to Trikru solely and not the coalition in its entirety would not hold.

Had Skykru not made their camp in the middle of her coalition she might have been able to ignore them longer and simply keep a lose treaty with them. But just their geographical position together with the weapons they possessed made them a desirable target for all clans who wanted to shatter the coalition. She was aware that bringing them into the coalition would only fuel the conflicts in the beginning but she dearly hoped that she could make the ambassadors and by thus the clans see what benefits Skykru could offer to them long-term.

“Heda the clans will not stand for that” Gustus cautiously said clearly hesitant to overstep his position. Lexa nodded to him subtly signalling to her guard that in the small round she welcomed all of their honest opinions.

“I am aware that the clans won’t accept that lightly” Lexa answered.

“But what would the benefits be of bringing them into the coalition?” Indra asked her brow furrowed. Although she had respect for Markus Kane specifically and had taken Octavia as her second she still viewed most of Skykru as utter idiots unable to adjust to the life on the earth.

“Skykru possess knowledge superior to ours in various fields” Lexa vaguely answered. She had briefly spoken with Abby about the infant mortality on the Ark when the chancellor had mentioned that they were lifting their “one-child-per-family” rule now that they were on the ground. She was astounded to hear that children and their mothers seldom died on the Ark, while she knew that dying in childbed was sadly customary among their people. It was even customary within most of the clans not to name a child until they passed their first summer as many of those who were born still died during their first year of life.

But she was not just interested in their medical knowledge. A lot of old tech was distributed amongst the clans that no one knew anymore for what it once had been made. Skykru and their mechanics were resourceful in ways her own people had forgotten. She knew it would take a lot of time and gentle persuasion to get the clans used to the idea of actually using something Skykru might offer but Skykru might be the key to bring her people into the peaceful future she had always envisioned.

“And what about Azgeda” Anya remarked “I actually agree that engaging Skykru might be advantageous but not at the moment”.

Lexa nodded with a sigh as Anya had just pointed out the reason why she had not yet made her proposition to the Ark’s council. She needed the coalition more stable again before she could try to convince the clans to accept Skykru.

“Queen Nia needs to fall once and for all” Lexa mused as if to herself sitting down on her throne and fiddling with a dagger between her long slender fingers.

“We already know she is breaking laws of the coalition” Anya remarked hinting at Ontari’s supposed existence.

Lexa shook her head with a tired sigh, all the spies she had sent to Azgeda to find out if Roan’s word was true had not returned and were probably all dead by now. “We do not know if prince Roan spoke the truth” Lexa cautioned. Indra looked confused as she had not been privy to this information.

“Prince Roan told me that his mother harboured her own nightblood” Lexa casually stated.

“That is treason” Indra seethed immediately her eyes narrowing.

Lexa nodded “Yes. But we do not know if his words are truthful and calling Nia out might provoke her to challenge me. I know that I cannot fall right now or the coalition would crumble.”

She knew Gustus had been correct when he had told her that she was the coalition. No matter which nightblood would succeed her, she doubted any of them would manage to keep the clans allied together now that the Mountain had fallen. And if the Azgeda nightblood existed and was to take up the mantle of the commander all the clans would fall into utter chaos.

“And the problem with the bandits roaming the borders needs to be resolved quickly as well” Lexa stated addressing Indra mostly “We cannot have more villages robbed before the cold season starts”. The chief nodded in acceptance to take care of the bandits.

The commander dismissed Indra and Gustus from her tent. She was slightly surprised that Titus had not yet sent another messenger which either meant that the conflict had been kept at bay by her teacher successfully or he simply had not found time to send another.

Anya quickly had checked on Marie finding the girl curled up under her furs Risha in her arms and both soundly asleep. She returned to Lexa’s side wordlessly.

“When will Skykru enter the Mountain?” the general questioned already sensing that they would still be with them then.

“In two days’ time” Lexa answered confirming Anya’s suspicion.

“Is giving them all the equipment of the Mountain really wise?” the older woman wondered aloud.

Lexa arched a brow at her former mentor “At least they asked before simply taking everything. This way we will have some control over what will stay behind. Markus wanted to speak with Raven if there might be a possibility to safely blow up the whole complex.”

“I had rather thought they would have wanted to move there all together” Anya mused sarcastically.

Lexa snorted lightly at that “I do not doubt that they will have thought about it, but even they must see that the clans cannot stand for that. Too many of our people have died there”.

“But it still seems strange that they accepted your denial so easily” Anya commented.

“Who said they accepted easily?” Lexa retorted twirling the dagger between her fingers humour in her light tone “Abby actually seemed ready to reject the treaty with Trikru instead”.

Anya shook her head with a disbelieving grunt. They both knew Skykru would never survive without help from the clans. Even if they would last through the cold season they still had made their camp on coalition territory and even their guns would not be able to protect them against an army banded together from the whole coalition. Skykru had to know that they were allowed to stay simply out of generosity as nothing was forcing the commander to let them stay. But the general was still unconvinced that Skykru were thinking clearly. She had met enough individuals of them by now to know that some of them were actually convinced that the earth they had crashed into belonged to them.

“I won’t make the proposition to them until the clans are calmer again” Lexa said after a few moments of silent contemplation. She knew as the commander she could essentially force the clans to accept Skykru but that would not be in her interest in the long run. They needed to accept Skykru on their own or Lexa would be damned to mediate between Skykru and the other clans on a daily basis.


	85. Chapter 85

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the longer wait. I was away on a conference and now I am visiting my family for a few days.
> 
> Previously in chapter 84  
> Anya talks some more with Clarke. Lexa is invited to a council meeting and allows Skykru to gather equipment from Mount Weather before the facility will be sealed. Lexa breaks the idea of bringing Skykru into the coalition to Anya, Gustus and Indra but decides against working in that direction for now.

Chapter 85

Sometime later the same day Lexa and Anya were in their tent together with their second giving her a lecture about some of the laws the entirety of the coalition shared and how some clans still stuck to their own laws.

The sound of a rover approaching distracted Marie from her lesson. Anya had her brows furrowed “They had left already to the Mountain?”

The irritation was clear on Lexa’s face although she had spoken to the Council just a few hours ago she had no knowledge of their intention to leave their perimeter and they would not go hunting with this loud thing. Anger bubbled up inside her if Skykru wanted to hold their alliances they would have to be more mindful of the unspoken restraints between the clans. If they accidentally were to kill another one of her people she would not be able to contain the clans calling for heavy retribution against Skykru.

She quickly fastened her red sash at her shoulder after donning on her heavy dark coat and stepped out of her tent Anya on her heel as Marie waited a moment unsure if she should follow or not and settled on hurrying behind them.

The grounders had erected their tents just outside the fence of Skykru as their camp did not offer enough space for the tents for all of the warriors who had travelled with the commander. The gate was still opened and no guards tried to hold them back as Lexa strode into the space before the Ark.

The rover had been pulled to a stop in front of the Ark as well and the commander recognized Bellamy and another boy who she had forgotten the name from. A horse was standing next to the strange vehicle and Lexa immediately spotted that its fur had been painted like Azgeda liked to do to their mounts. Her lips thinned in realization that they would have only gotten hold of the horse if they had killed the rightful owner.

One boy had a bandage wrapped around his throat blood already seeping through. She did not know the boy personally and he had a red blinking thing in hand. The commander had no idea what the purpose of the thing might be.

She saw the chancellor hurry to the obviously injured boy and shove his bandage away ordering him to the medical bay immediately.

Lexa stopped Markus Kane in his tracks as the man quizzed Bellamy on what had happened. The man looked slightly guilty as he confessed that a small group from Skykru had been fanning out around their camp looking for other survivors. The commander narrowed her eyes at this new piece of information irritated that the Council had not at least informed her.

Her green eyes turned to Bellamy still holding onto his gun “Have you killed the warrior who the horse belonged to, boy?” she nearly snarled at him through clenched teeth.

The young man looked slightly taken aback at her anger and his eyes returned to Kane “Sir, they hurt Jasper first. He had taken the tracking beacon from them and the warrior was in the process of slitting his throat”.

Lexa clenched her hands into fists at the side of her body unused to being ignored and disrespected like that from anyone.

Anya suddenly appeared pressing a dagger at the boy’s throat in a clear warning as she seethed “Do not disrespect the commander like that, idiot boy!”

The commander could see Clarke hurrying to them with a thunderous expression on her face and Lexa immediately called Anya back “ _Enough, Anya, he does not know any better”_

 _“Then they should learn”_ Anya shot back her eyes blazing _“Soon, or the peace will never hold”._

Clarke stopped just short of them so near that Lexa could practically feel the other’s body heat. “You have found another station?” the blonde inquired immediately urgency in her voice.

Bellamy shook his head “Just a tracking beacon not the station itself”.

“Which station?” Clarke shot back.

“Farm station” Bellamy said.

Lexa thinned her lips her eyes narrowing even though she felt some satisfaction, Azgeda disobeying her orders in not notifying the coalition of finding Skykru in their territory was just what she needed to summon queen Nia before the ambassadors. She quickly thought her options through a part of this station was not enough to accuse Nia, she needed actual survivors.

“You will return to Azgeda and look for your people” she commanded making all the others pause save Anya who had already come to the same conclusion as her commander had. But she could not send Skykru there alone, commander and general shared a silent glance and Anya nodded subtly accepting the silent order “Anya and a small unit will travel with you”.

“Why would you of all people help us find our people?” Bellamy questioned a challenge clear in his dark eyes. It was obvious he was harbouring a clear distrust against the commander.

Lexa stared the young man down calmly “All clans had received order to notify the capitol were they to find Skykru survivors, if queen Nia failed to so she disobeyed a direct order from me” it went unsaid that ignoring an direct order from the commander was considered treason punishable by death. 

“Why would you do that?” Clarke asked highly suspicious of the other woman’s motives.

The distrust clearly visible in her blue eyes prompted Lexa to choose a defensive response instead of the truth “I do not need to justify my motives to anyone”. The power was clear in her voice and Clarke just met her stare with defiance in her blue eyes.

“Is there snow where you search for them?” Marie interrupted seemingly oblivious to the rising tension between both women. Lexa turned to face the girl her gaze softening as she did so “That depends on how far they will have to go into Azgeda territory”.

“Can I come?” Marie eagerly asked. Lexa contemplated silently if it would be save to let the girl accompany Anya. The commander remembered that she had promised Skykru to go with them to the Mountain in two days’ time and she doubted the girl would be eager to return to the place so she finally nodded, Lexa had not doubt in her mind that Anya would keep her save and it should not be a violent mission. The group would travel under the direct orders of the commander and should Azgeda attack them that was as good as a declaration of war and she doubted Nia would be as dumb as that.

“I see no reason why not” Lexa said to Marie’s obvious delight judging by the smile lightening up her face as she heard the answer. Anya did not seem as convinced by Lexa’s decision but she did not voice her opinion aloud.

Kane suggested that they should be travelling to Azgeda territory in a rover or two increasing the speed of the mission a lot. Anya was wary to accept to have to get into one of the strange vehicles clearly preferring to ride instead. But Lexa convinced her general otherwise. The rovers provided at least some cover a horse never could and she knew she would soon travel back to Polis and would definitely prefer to have Anya and Marie back at her side then.

Even though Marie had never before been inside an actual rover it was clear the girl was exited at the prospect. She eagerly told Anya and Lexa that she had seen one in a movie a few years ago and that people used to travel with something called a car similar to a rover in the old world. Anya quickly gathered a few things they might need while Kane had vanished inside of the Ark to organize the team that would drive with them. Only Ryder and another soldier named Dax would also accompany them aside from the group Markus Kane assembled at the moment.

“I would prefer for Marie to stay with you” Anya said as Marie shortly went to search for Risha. Lexa had already told the girl that she would not be able to take the cub with her.

Lexa shook her head “I cannot go with them myself as I want to be there when they enter Mount Weather. I doubt she would be thrilled to have to return there” she purposefully left out that the same would clearly apply to Anya herself.

The general raised her brow at her “Fine. I will watch over her for both of us” she conceded with determination in her brown eyes.

Lexa’s lips pulled up in a slight smile “I know you will”.

Marie returned to the tent with the cub in her arms. “Can I really not take her with me?” the girl pleaded with an innocent look.

Anya immediately shook her head “Absolutely not” her tone left no room for further discussion and Marie reluctantly put Risha down. Lexa gave their second her dagger back but they had both decided not to give her any other weapon for now.

Lexa together with Gustus accompanied them back inside of the fence from Arkadia. The general noticed that Raven who had set up the machine Abby had used to examine Marie would be driving their rover. She noted how the young woman seemed to move easier than a few days ago and as her eyes fell to the other’s legs the absence of the brace encasing her leg caught her attention.

Clarke stood next to the rover caught up in a heated discussion with her mother. The words which wafted over to them telling Anya that the blond woman wanted to accompany the group and was outright forbidden by her mother.

“You just got back, Clarke” Abby’s voice sounded agitated. To the general it sounded more as if the chancellor was afraid her daughter would run and not return once she set foot out of Arkadia and judging by Clarke’s reaction her fears were probably not completely unfounded.

Bellamy, Monty and two others Anya did not know were also standing around the rover. A dark haired girl kissed Bellamy on the mouth telling him to “be safe and come back”. The young man smiled a loopy side grin at her “Of course, Mel”.

When the group of Skykru noticed their arrival they all nodded respectfully at the general and the two male warriors completely ignoring Marie’s presence all together. A dark blond haired young woman introduced herself as Harper and a young man with short cropped dark hair and an olive complexion introduced himself as Nathan Miller.

Monty and Bellamy were the only ones of the group who both smiled friendly at Marie clearly remembering the young girl from their time after landing on earth.

The commander saw the group climb into the vehicle and held her general gaze for a moment at the unease clear on Anya’s face. They had already said their goodbyes in the privacy of their tent but Marie still waved at her with a smile as the rover drove off.

The atmosphere inside of the rover was tense. Anya, Ryder and Dax all looked so tense their bodies might snap any moment. Marie seemed oblivious to the tension looking around her with wide interested eyes. Kane who had also joined the group watched the young girl with a kind smile. Seeing the girl already so adapted into this foreign culture gave him personally hope there might really be a chance for them to live alongside the grounders in peace.

Kane had tried to start a conversation a few times already but it was painfully obvious that none of the warriors were interested in polite small talk. As the ground became more uneven the inside of the rover was bumped around. The first time it happened without warning Anya had startled badly clutching Marie to herself protectively. The girl had blinked up at her mentor with wide grey eyes more alarmed at Anya’s expression than anything else.

“How long until the border?” Anya asked through clenched teeth already yearning for the moment to step out of this thing. The pace they travelled with was different than a horse would go so it was hard for her to judge and she found that looking out of a window made her rather sick so she had stopped watching their surroundings rush by.

She watched the boy named Monty fiddle around with the red blinking thing they had called a tracking beacon.

“Not long” Raven shouted from the driver seat. All of a sudden she hit the brakes hard as a tree trunk blocked the path ahead of them.

Bellamy stood from his seat looking out. Darkness was already falling around them as the night descended around them. Anya pushed Marie to stay seated and also mustered the fallen tree and her eyes caught immediately that the tree had been cut down. She harshly pulled the young man back inside “The tree was cut down”.

“We do not know that” Kane answered looking at the fallen tree dubiously. Ryder looked at Anya for a moment with a subtle eye roll. Why these people seemed to think to know more about theses woods than the people who had grown up in them astounded Anya to no end.

When another tree behind them started to creek and fall over with a loud resonating echo startling birds in their vicinity prompting them to flee in a rush Anya looked at Kane with a raised brow.

The general and her warriors grabbed for their weapons but Kane shook his head “We have no idea how many there might be”.

Anya nodded although the number of opponents would not change their situation. “We can wait them out” Markus suggested even though Anya thought his voice sounded alarmingly unsure. Lexa had asked her to mostly follow Skykru’s lead and only intervene should they have a run in with Azgeda soldiers so she nodded with a little sigh resigning herself for a long wait.

“ _Why are we waiting?”_ the girl asked softly. Surprising all of the Skykru members at speaking Trigedasleng as if she spoke the language for years now instead of just a few weeks.

A smirk was pulling at Anya’s lips as she deadpanned “ _Because Skykru are idiots”._ Mirroring smirks were displayed on Dax’ and Ryder’s faces while Marie looked up at the general with a furrowed brow.

They waited in silence for what felt like hours until Bellamy’s patience seemed to snap “What are they waiting for?”

Markus shrugged his shoulders seemingly still convinced that they would be able to wait whoever had felled the trees out in the rover. Anya was well aware that they in fact could not and judging by the dense trees around them they had either just passed the border over to Azgeda territory or were still on the last miles from Trikru.

The girl started to wiggle around next to Anya in her seat and the general narrowed her eyes at her inability to sit still all of a sudden “ _What is it?”_ she asked lowly.

“ _I need to pee”_ the girl’s voice was coloured with desperation telling the woman that the girl’s need was rather pressing. The girl looked absolutely disgusted when Dax simply suggested to just let go in a serious voice. “ _He did not mean that, did he?”_ the girl whispered so low only Anya caught the words. The general looked doubtful it was not always possible to get relieve when on a scouting mission.

Markus caught up with the girl wiggling understanding where the problem was routed without understanding her actual words. Before the man could say anything though Bellamy suddenly stood up looking out of the opening again and was hoisted out of the vehicle just as suddenly.

“Come out with your hands up” a voice commanded from the darkness outside “Or the boy dies”. Anya instantly noted that the command was issued in Gonasleng rather than Trigedasleng which she found odd.

“Alright” Markus shouted lying down his gun “We are coming out, don’t harm him”.

She had a hand on a dagger hidden under her coat as Kane opened the door and was instantly pulled out of the rover and thrown on the ground outside. Marie sat closer to the exit and was hauled outside before Anya could pull her back.

Drawing her dagger she jumped out of the small exit rather than letting herself be pulled out. Her eyes instantly found Marie’s body pressed on the ground a few meters away with a blade pressed against her throat. Ryder and Dax jumped from the rover as well with loud war cries but fell to the ground as they were suddenly hit from behind. Their bodies hitting the ground with silent thuds.

Marie struggled against the hands holding her down feeling the blade pressed against her throat breaking the skin slightly and a small trail of blood slid down her neck. Anya stood faced off with various opponents while all the others it seemed were pressed down on the ground around them. The general turned around herself extracting her sword as she did.

“Easy” one of the masked people said “Put your sword down, we just want the rover”.

Anya knew that she could impossibly beat all of them and reluctantly lowered her weapons an inch before she was roughly kicked down.


	86. Chapter 86

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am finally back from my little holiday with my family. I still have five chapters finished which I can post in the next days. I hope that work won't be so busy so that I can start writing again...
> 
> Previously in chapter 85  
> A scouting group from Skykru returns after a run in with Azgeda warriors who had a tracking beacon from farm station. The commander orders Anya to accompany them into Azgeda territory to search if there are survivors from the station and Marie is allowed to join the group. They drive into a trap and get overpowered.

Chapter 86

“All targets secure” a female voice shouted from behind Anya direction.

One of the strangers suddenly searched Monty taking the tracking beacon from him the boy instantly trying to make a grab for the thing “It is mine!”

“Monty, don’t!” Bellamy shouted to stop him from fighting back.

“Monty?” a female voice echoed and the woman who had spoken lowered her weapon slightly eyes widening behind the mask covering her face.

“Mom?” the boy asked back his voice full of disbelieve as he instantly ceased his struggling against the arms restraining him.

Anya saw recognition flash through Marie’s grey eyes as the woman who had spoken lifted her mask. The similarity between the boy and her was strikingly obvious signifying their familial relationship.

Mother and son fell into each other’s arms with a sob and a male voice commanded “Farm station, stand down!”

The weapon which had been pressed to Anya’s neck was taken away and the woman instantly sprung to her feet pushing the one still holding Marie down away from the girl harshly.

“I said stand down!” the voice repeated and a man jumped from the rover pulling his own mask away revealing a dark skinned man underneath.

“Pike?” Markus questioned in disbelief as he took the outstretched hand from the man hauling from the ground.

Anya inspected the small cut on Marie’s throat and went over to Ryder and Dax still lying knocked out cold on the ground. Both were sprouting bumps but looked fine otherwise.

_“Are you hurt elsewhere?”_ Anya checked with Marie worry in her eyes. The general noted how the ones who had attacked them all seemed to stiffen slightly at hearing Trigedasleng some even turning hateful eyes to her. Marie quickly shook her head _“Are you hurt?”_ the girl wanted to know. Anya shook her head slightly touched by the girl’s concern.

“I didn’t think you made it” Kane said to Pike after giving him a friendly hug.

Monty let his eyes glide over the group which Anya quickly counted were twelve people in total and judging by their stature all adults. “Where is Dad?” the boy asked after not finding his father among them. His mother had a troubled look on his face as she shook her head “Your father didn’t make it” and they hugged again.

“How many of you are there?” Markus asked Pike who seemingly commanded the small group.

“63” the dark skinned man immediately answered “The rest are camped in the mountains north from here. Grounder killers one and all. Am I right?”

Anya thinned her lips as the others from his group answered with a sort of war cry to his question, pulling Marie closer to herself and remaining next to both of her warriors just in case these people should suddenly decide to attack once again. The part of Skykru which had travelled with them looked uneasy at the others reaction but did not comment on it.

“63?” Kane echoed “Farm station left with over three times that much”

“We landed with that number too” there was regret clear in the man’s voice.

“The Ice Nation can be ruthless” Anya interjected wanting to make it clear from the beginning that not her clan had killed their people “Take pride in the number you saved”.

“Anya, this is Charles Pike. He was a teacher on the Ark” Markus introduced the man officially “This is Anya, general of Trikru and the commander, our trusted allies”.

“I’ll have to take your word for it” Pike said his eyes full of distrust. Anya met his stare with her eyes fierce and unyielding.

Marie suddenly touched her arm garnering her attention the desperation clear on her young face once again and reminding Anya that she still needed to relieve herself. The general nodded to her “We will return shortly” she guided Marie towards the treeline while others had started to roll away the tree blocking the rover’s path. She heard Pike ask after her second and was astounded to hear that they obviously knew each other.

_“Who is Charles Pike to you?”_ Anya asked once they were far enough from the others that Marie quickly relieved herself. The girl hurried herself “ _He lived next to us. He sometimes watched over me when mummy had to work. And he was teaching earth skills on the Ark”._

_“You are from the station which landed in Azgeda?”_ Anya checked and when the girl nodded, she could not quiet stop a feeling of doubt settle in her mind. Marie did not seem to notice though and Anya guided her back to the group.

The tree was still being moved when they returned and Pike instantly approached them not looking at the general at all but rather trying to embrace Marie.

The girl seemed bewildered by the gestured and stiffened in his arms. Anya growled lowly under her breath in warning to release her. The man looked up at her with a hateful glare keeping his hands on Marie’s shoulders as he stood up and when he looked at Marie he smiled although it was strained “You have changed quite a bit, kid”.

Marie’s eyes were uneasy as she nodded and when she looked up at Anya the man instantly tried to regain her attention “Hey, there is no need to be afraid, kid”.

It irked Anya how the man kept calling Marie “kid” as if he had some sort of claim over the girl. A small part of her actually feared that he did as she had no idea how deep their previous connection might have been.

They were interrupted when Ryder suddenly woke up instantly making a grab for one of his swords. Anya rushed over to the warrior before he would kill someone “ _Stand down!”_ she harshly commanded and after he did she lowly explained that these people were the survivors they had been looking for.

Pike was still speaking with Marie having kept the girl efficiently from going behind Anya.

“We cannot transport so many people in one rover” Raven said stepping up to Kane.

The man shook his head “No, we cannot. But we do not have enough rovers and driving back and forth would take several days”.

Anya was suddenly glad she had thought to pack thing she and Marie might need for a few days and she knew that Ryder and Dax were prepared as well.

“Charles” Markus called the dark skinned man over who still had a hand on Marie’s shoulder. The girl let herself be guided by him although she seemed rather reluctant. “Are there injured among your people?” Markus questioned and Pike nodded “Three, a broken leg and an arrow to the thigh”.

Markus nodded in acknowledgement “We will go there with the rover, collect the injured and the rest will have to travel by foot to Arkadia. You all will be save there”.

“Can you lead the rest in the direction of Arkadia?” Markus asked Anya knowing full well that the general was bound to know the best routes through the forests around them.

The general nodded scoffing lowly that the man even had to ask. “Thank you” Markus said honestly “Can we reach Arkadia before the trip to the Mountain is scheduled?”

“If we hurry” Anya answered. Dusk had fallen around them and they would to need to walk through the darkness but it was manageable.

Markus asked a few more things of Pike hearing that twelve children were still among their group and determining that the walk would be too long for them so that the rover was only sent to them with Raven and one man from Farm Station. They would need to drive back slowly so that the others could somehow keep up at least part of the way until they crossed back into Trikru territory.

Marie inched away from Charles when Markus started to question the man relieve passing over her features and she smiled at Anya when she returned to her side. The general met her smile slightly and squeezed the girl’s shoulder in silent reassurance feeling the girl lean against her body instantly. Anya was well aware how Pike seemed to stare at them in utter bewilderment and she knew she needed to keep Marie away from him, she somehow had a feeling that the man was bound to cause trouble.

Pike was occupied for some time though as Markus updated him on the progress Arkadia had made.

Dax fortunately woke a few moments before they started to move. Anya had been reluctant to let the warrior be heaved into the rover and was glad he could just walk with them now.

The general ordered Ryder to scout slightly ahead of them and Dax to keep their rear save as the others organized to walk behind her. Marie was still leaning against her and Anya noted how tired the girl looked all of a sudden. She cursed under her breath as she felt the girl slacken slightly almost falling asleep on her feet. The rover had already left so there was no other alternative then to carry the girl.

Anya gathered the girl into her arm shushing her when Marie mumbled that she was fine to walk. “Is she okay?” Markus checked immediately a worried expression on his face, he had heard from Abby that the girl had nearly died only two days ago.

Anya nodded simply adjusting the girl more securely against herself “She is just tired”.

Pike’s dark eyes seemed to burn holes into her back but she ignored the man. Pike instead asked Kane almost provokingly “Last time we had contact with the kids you were under attack by grounders. What changed?”

“Turns out we had a common enemy” Bellamy answered instead catching up with them.

“What happened to them?” the man inquired.

“We won” Bellamy said simply.

“We need to move faster” Anya exclaimed loudly. She wanted to cover as much ground as possible before she was sure Skykru would not be able to walk any further forcing them to stop for the night.

They travelled for some time in silence as Anya gradually forced them to increase their pace until their laboured breathing told her that she could not push them any further.

Marie started to squirm in her arms which either meant she was waking up or falling into a nightmare. Anya gently let her fingers glide through her hair while keeping her secure in the other arm. Marie’s grey eyes blinked open a few moments later almost gleaming in the pale light of the full moon filtering through the foliage of trees above them. The girl tightened her arms minutely around Anya’s neck with a soft smile. “ _Welcome back, little star”_ Anya whispered to her in a gentle voice _“Do you want to rest some more?”_

Marie shook her head in the negative and Anya stopped shortly to put the girl on her own feet. She snorted lightly as she noticed that the Skykru looked relieved that she had stopped and seemed to groan in silent protest when she resumed walking. Anya had to decrease her pace when she noted that even Marie could not match up with her fast strides remembering that Abby had told them to keep the girl rested.

“Mom” she heard Monty say behind them “I need to know what happened to Dad” when his mother only told him that he loved him and only wanted to find him he begged to know and the woman relented.

“We landed in the snow” she started and Anya could see Marie’s ears perking up at that. A small smirk pulled at her lips at the girl’s fascination with the snow she had never seen so far.

“Your father said it absorbed some of the impact” the woman’s voice was heavy clearly pained by recalling the memory “That’s why we survived. The snow looked so beautiful” she said a sob interrupting her words. “Charles?” she asked in a shaky voice clearly unable to continue.

The man turned slightly to Monty still keeping to move. Anya could see Marie straining to hear what was being said just as she herself listened on in their conversation.

“The children were playing in it” Pike remembered and paused before his tone got heavy “They were the first to die. Fifteen of them. If not for your father it would have been more”.

Anya felt a flash of sympathy for them and could not stop her mind from coming up with an image of Marie playing with other children her age in the snow just to be killed unexpectedly by Azgeda warriors.

“He pulled four kids back into the ship. All four alive today” he said his voice grave “They got him when he went back for the sixth. Your father died a hero, Monty”.

The boy could not contain the sob bubbling from his chest and his mother enveloped him again.

Anya adjusted her pace to offer them some time but almost instantly regretted it a moment later at the words that left Charles Pike’s mouth “We are fighting grounders ever since”.

“That was Ice Nation” Kane was quick to correct and spared a quick glance at Anya “Not all grounders are the same”.

“They are to me” Pike deadpanned his voice grave and honest.

Anya would have liked nothing more than to turn around and slit the man’s impertinent throat where he stood. But the way the girl suddenly latched onto her hand made her quench her desire to kill him and concentrate on her charge instead.

The uneasy silence that settled between the rests of Skykru was testament enough that at least the others from Arkadia did not share the man’s opinion but Anya was aware that the commander needed to be notified that this man could cause some serious trouble if he managed to spread his opinion amongst Skykru.

“ _Can we go and see the snow sometime other then?”_ Marie suddenly asked as if purposefully trying to divert her attention from the tension around her.

Anya could not contain the snort at the innocent question _“The snow will come to us soon enough, Marie”._

Bellamy explained to Pike how they had battled against Mount Weather and the fascination Anya detected for the place in Pike’s questions made her skin crawl.

“So Mount Weather is ours?” the man asked.

Anya rolled her eyes unable for them to see as she still led the group. Just what they had needed, another man who thought the ground they walked on could just be claimed like that, Anya sarcastically thought. They had already been moving for some hours now and she knew they had long since passed back into Trikru territory.

“We will use it for supplies” Markus said and explaining that the commander allowed them to take what they wanted and then seal the thing for good.

Pike obviously had no idea about the concept of what the commander was. “This is a underground city that withstood a nuclear war” he said disbelief that they were giving that up willingly colouring his voice “We need to think about what will happen when the grounders break their truce, because they will…”

Anya abruptly let go of Marie’s hand whirling around to face the man on the balls of her feet pressing a dagger to his throat before he had even blinked “One more word” she seethed “And I will slit your throat!”

The man’s eyes widened at the threat. Bird calls resonating around her signalling that they had just passed the first ring of scouts scattered around the woods. The survivors from Farm Station made to grab their weapons to defend their leader as Kane desperately tried to clear the situation.

“Anya, please” the man pleaded as Anya put more pressure on the blade just enough to break his skin and draw a bit of blood.

She pushed the man away from her making him stumble back and collide with a younger man having walked behind him “That was for drawing blood from my second” she seethed “I will not repeat my warning” she snarled at all of them.

The general had enough of the man testing her patience and emitted a birdcall of herself making several warriors drop from the trees answering her silent command. The survivors from Farm Station reacted more severely than the rest of Skykru flinching like startled pray.

_“Signal the commander that we are on our way back”_ Anya loudly commanded her eyes still fixed onto Charles Pike. A younger warrior nodded and instantly vanished between the treeline hurrying to obey her command. She knew it had been unnecessary to call the scouts from their posts but the man was clearly testing her patience and the little show of power clearly had worked wonders to shut him up.

The general knew that the rest of the way to Arkadia was still several hours. Judging by the tired faces around her she would not be able to push them the whole distance so making a stop now would have to do. Anya would be able to rest more easily with more warriors from Trikru around.

“We will rest for the night” she loudly exclaimed and the warriors around her sprung into well practised action preparing a little make-shift camp.


	87. Chapter 87

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again.   
> More of protective Anya, but Marie can stand up for herself ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 86  
> The trap was set by survivors from Farm Station which had landed in Azgeda. Kane asks Anya to lead the group back to Arkadia as she would knew the best way through the forests. Anya has to recognize how deeply the hatred runs in Pike directed against all grounders.

Chapter 87

It was obvious that the survivors from Farm Station were impressed with the efficient and obviously well practised way the scouts from Trikru worked around them. A fire was blazing quickly in the clearing offering some warmth against the air that had turned almost bitingly cold in the darkness. But it was clear that they would rather bite of their tongues than admit their silent astonishment.

Anya doubted that any of them were aware of the scouts still posted all around them keeping an eye on predators that might get too closely to the group or any rouge bandits.

A few scouts already returned with something they had caught quickly to sustain them for the night. They had also filled all their water canteens at a nearby stream offering water to the Skykru as they went around.

Markus was the first to thank them for their unsolicited efforts and Anya accepted his thanks with a silent nod of acknowledgment. The general sighed under her breath, if there would be more of his kind among Skykru it would be easier to work with them to sustain peace. The dark haired man was interested in the culture they had developed clearly willing to adapt to it at least in some way.

Marie sat beside the fire with Ryder who was the only one of the Trikru warriors she knew personally beside Anya. The general was still occupied talking to one of the scouts and had left her by the fire.

The man passed her the first portion of the meat he had roasted quickly over the fire. Marie took the stick from him with a mumbled thanks and cautiously bit into the still hot meat savouring the taste of the fresh meat on her tongue. Ryder smirked at the girl’s obvious enjoyment of the meat his dark eyes kind as he regarded the child sitting next to him. The girl had an aura of softness around her that was not common amongst their people but under the softness he could clearly see a strength he doubted the girl was even aware of yet. She had preserved the almost naïve ability to focus on the beautiful perspectives of life and not bending to the hardship that often was most of their lives.

While Anya was still speaking with the scout Charles stepped over to the fire sitting down on Marie’s other side with a kind smile while he looked at the girl. His eyes turned hateful the second they connected with Ryder’s. The warrior subtly shook his head at the man’s obvious stupidity to advance Marie again after Anya’s clear warning.

“What happened to you, kid?” the dark skinned man asked in a kind tone his eyes probing hers. Marie blinked up at the man slightly confused by the sudden question.

“How have you come to be with …” he seemed to search for a word which Ryder thought would not openly display his dislike for his people and the man settled on “… them?”

“Oh” Marie said “Well …” the girl thought for a moment on how to best explain what had happened. “John was banished from the delinquents and I followed him into the forest. We ran into Trikru scouts who brought us to TonDC” Marie told him honestly “Le … I mean, the commander decided that I could stay” covering her slip with the name quickly before she continued “Someone had to teach me their ways and Anya offered”.

Pike’s eyebrows were raised in a frown feeling that the girl had probably left out a lot. Kane had warned him against offering Marie to come back to Skykru, but he felt he was obliged to get the girl away from the grounders. He owed it to her parents to at least try.

“Kid” he started “you know you do not need to live with them?”

His statement was voiced as a question and Ryder now openly glared at the man who purposefully ignored him. Marie was blinking at the other man with confused eyes clearly overwhelmed.

Pike interpreted her reaction different than Ryder would have moving to envelop the stunned girl “You do not need to be afraid anymore” he reassured “We will keep you save from those savages…” Marie still looked at him like a deer caught in a trap opening and closing her mouth without a sound coming out.

He had barely said the last words before Anya suddenly appeared behind him and without a warning the general knocked the man out with a well-aimed hit of her daggers handle against his temple. The general had the decency to catch his unconscious form before he could fall face first into the fire but she simply pushed him the other way not paying any attention to him anymore.

“I had told him not to do that” Markus sighed hauling Pike slightly away from the fire looking at Anya with apologetic eyes. The general nodded she would not blame all of them for Pike’s obvious stupidity.

Ryder had not expected to be able to see insecurity in Anya’s eyes as she looked down at Marie and as his eyes connected with her brown ones he subtly nodded and left to give them a few moments of privacy.

Anya was breathing harder than she should and she knew it had nothing to do with the exertion of knocking the impertinent idiot out but rather all with the girl looking up at her with those big grey eyes.

Her voice as clear and calm as possible Anya addressed Marie choosing to speak in her mother tongue. The Skykru did not need to understand that Pike had had a deeper effect on her than she would like. “ _I will ask you this only once, Marie”_ she said eyes stormy while her voice remained calm. Marie herself looked slightly alarmed at the obvious change in Anya but she nodded signalling that she listened. _“Now that the Station you have been born to is down here, do you wish to return to them?”_ Marie instantly opened her mouth to answer but Anya hushed her with a mere raise of her hand _“We will not judge, if you do. The situation has just changed so I would…”_ she had some problems with actually saying the words _“…understand if you would prefer to return to your people. This will be your only chance though”._ Her words were heavy and she waited with baited breath for a reaction from the girl.

Marie could not stop the flash of hurt passing over her face at the implication that she would want to return. But she actually did really think about her option before she blurted out the first instinctual answer and doubt took root in her mind seeing how blank Anya’s expression was looking down at her as if it truly would not matter if she left “ _Do you want me to return to them?”_ the girl’s voice shook slightly as she voiced her doubt.

Anya took a deep breath before she answered _“This is not about what I want, but rather about what you want”._ They had already given her the choice between the life of a warrior or another. Previously they had been convinced that no one would tie Marie to Skykru anymore but the arrival of people of the Station she had been born in might still change that.

Marie’s voice was small and she looked into the fire as she uttered her final answer _“I do not want to return and leave you and Lexa”._

Anya nodded letting out a relieved breath she not even been aware of holding and sat down next to her charge at the fire squeezing her shoulder as she did so _“The matter is settled then and we do not need to speak about this any longer”._

She felt a painful flash of guilt at seeing tears gathered in Marie’s grey eyes reminding her sharply that the girl was sometimes more delicate then she gave her credit for. Trying to silently comfort the girl Anya laid an arm across her back pulling the girl against her side. Marie instantly laid her head into the crook of her neck breathing in the soothing scent she associated solely with Anya.

Ryder returned in silence only inclining his head at Anya as he did so. But the general noted a slight upturn of the corners of his lips nevertheless.

Monty and his mother had sat across from them around the fire and had both watched the exchange. Although neither of them understood a word it was obvious that whatever the general had said to the girl had been serious. Monty, always deceptive of the feelings of others around him, had taken notice of the tears in the girl’s eyes or how she had paled in the middle of the exchange with Anya. When he stood to also get some food from the warrior sitting next to the girl his mother followed him.

Monty crouched down next to Marie softly addressing her although he felt the general’s intense gaze landing on him “Are you alright?” The girl looked up still nestled firmly against Anya and quickly nodded although the fresh tracks of tears on her cheeks clearly indicated otherwise. But Monty knew enough about Marie to take her word for the truth and simply squeezed the girl’s shoulder softly once after he accepted the meat from the warrior. That Marie spoke up before he turned around caught him off guard “I am sorry about your Dad” the girl’s words were so soft and filled with empathy that Monty’s throat felt suffocated by the lump suddenly forming.

Monty’s mother had also gotten handed a stick with meat but while Monty had been cautious and had just wanted to check on the young girl, the woman had already assumed the worst “You are not forced into …”

The woman’s voice had been doubtful and the look she gave Anya clearly conveyed her distrust.

Before either Anya or Ryder could react to the woman’s trailed off accusation something sparked in Marie’s eyes, the empathy suddenly replaced by flaring emotions “No!” she nearly screamed making Anya startle slightly with the volume of her voice. Marie sat up her back straight now and her eyes burning and she turned around her eyes quickly gliding over the Farm Station survivors. Her voice was loud and clear with a hint of frustrated agitation as she exclaimed “I am not forced to stay with Anya, so stop implying that I am! You are trying to force me to do something, they don’t! She even offered to let me return if I wanted” the girl paused looking up at the perplexed woman and her voice had taken on an accusative undertone “But I do NOT want to return!”

The woman could only nod still obviously shocked by the girl’s outburst and returned to her previous place behind her son. It was obvious the girl’s outburst had shocked most of the survivors from Farm Station as some were openly gaping at the girl. Markus was not shocked but still taken aback by the force behind her words.

There was no open reaction from any of the scouts still going around and distributing water. But they had paused what they were doing and had listened and all of them were silently impressed with the way the girl had stood up for herself, no one of them would doubt the girl’s loyalty to the general and their commander.

After she had sat down the tension left Marie’s body sagging into itself slightly. Her eyes were slightly sheepish as she looked up at Anya biting her lip as if afraid she done something wrong. But both Anya and Ryder were looking at the girl with rather impressed expressions and she was relieved that she could not detect any anger hidden in Anya’s brown eyes.

The general actually smirked at her as she put her arm back around her whispering “ _I knew there was a certain fire to you”._

The group around them remained silent for a rather long time in the aftermath of Marie’s outburst. Markus actually addressed Anya as he collected his own share food from the fire with kind and honest eyes “I am glad she has found her place with you and the commander”. The general only nodded in silent acknowledgment and the man had obviously not anticipated any verbal answer as he sat down next to Bellamy again.

Marie yawned heartily her head lying on Anya’s shoulder feeling the exhaustion of the long walk. She doubted she would have been able to keep up the entirety of the way if Anya had not carried her for a part of the distance.

“ _I will prepare our furs”_ Anya said lowly and stood up making sure the girl had actually caught her words. The general had packed only two furs, one to lie down on and the other to cover them both, and she placed the furs very closely to the fire.

A scout approached her before she motioned Marie to come over. “ _Should we organize a horse for you and your second? It would be here before first light”_ the young warrior probably still a second himself suggested. Anya nodded in acceptance and the warrior left again.

Ryder had to give Marie a gentle shove to get her to stand up as the girl was close to falling asleep where she sat her eyes transfixed by the entrancing dance of the flames.

Marie tiredly shrugged out of her coat and her boots but kept the dagger strapped to her thigh and laid down on the fur. The ground was still hard and rather uncomfortable beneath the single fur but her body was exhausted and she would probably be able to fall asleep sitting on a tree branch if she had to right now. Anya also placed her coat beside them but she kept her weapons within arm’s reach. The general knew that their scouts would keep watch over them for the night but you could never be overly cautious.

Marie immediately snuggled up closely to Anya’s body and listening to the steady beating of her heart lulled her to sleep almost instantly. Anya gently let her fingers glide through the blonde locks of the girl just now noticing that she and Lexa had failed to put any braids back into them in the morning and noting to remember to do that in the morning. Her own body still felt rather tired and she quickly followed the girl into the world of oblivion.

The others around them had more problems getting to sleep as most of Skykru never had to fall asleep on the hard, slightly damp and uneven ground without any kind of cover against the biting cold air. Consequently when Anya rose from the furs at the sound of hooves against the floor of the forest a few members of their little group were still rolling around trying in vain to find a comfortable resting position.

As promised the young warrior had returned leading a bright horse by the reigns into the clearing.

_“Is it time to stand up already?”_ Marie’s muffled voice sounded from beneath the furs still obviously tired. The girl’s question had been loud enough to start rousing more of the group travelling with them and first light was already starting to appear at the edge of the horizon.

“ _Yes”_ Anya said to the girl bending down to pull the fur away that covered her body _“We can leave soon”._

Marie tried to grab the fur and pouted slightly her body shivering as it was suddenly exposed to the cool air of the morning _“Not fair”_ she uttered with a certain whine to her voice. She sat up and quickly pulled the warm coat around her shoulders to guard of some of the sudden cold.

_“Rise”_ Anya simply commanded her tone still gentle and rolled together the first fur while Marie slipped her boots back over her feet lacing them up. When she stood up she handed the fur she had sat on over to Anya and the woman rolled that together as well and stored both in one of the empty saddlebags. The general sent the young warrior away after she accepted the horse from him.

She could see Ryder and Dax also rising from their own furs while the first ones to wake from Skykru quickly went around to wake the rest.

The scouts had kept the fire burning steadily over the night and Marie sat down closer to it in order to catch some of its warmth.

Anya sat down behind her combing the girl’s blonde hair out with the help of her fingers. She quickly plaited a few braids into the long hair securing them in place with a thin strip of leather which had still been in her coat.

From the corner of her eyes Anya could see Charles Pike also regaining consciousness again. She would not have designated it a great loss if he had failed to but she had already known that her blow to his temple would not be fatal but he was bound to still have a blazing headache.

Monty’s mother silently checked with him if the man was alright and Anya caught her telling him quickly to back up from Marie for good and that the girl had clearly made her choice. Judging by the stare the man sent at the girl he was not truly believing the woman’s words and Anya sighed under her breath already mentally preparing for another confrontation.

They were ready to move again soon after and Anya hoisted Marie up on the horse at the front of the saddle immediately mounting up behind the child. This time Ryder and Dax followed on foot directly behind Anya as they now knew that the forest around them was scouted ahead and the scouts that had watched over them during the night would follow them for some time securing their rear.

It did not surprise Anya in the slightest to feel Marie fall asleep relatively shortly after they had begun to move again. The girl only opened her eyes again long after the sun had risen and they were actually nearly at Arkadia.

_“Where are we?”_ Marie asked looking around them. She detected that the forest looked different than it had when they had started and the light told her that she had slept through dawn.

_“Nearly there, sleepyhead”_ Anya said in a teasing tone although she actually had preferred for the girl to sleep as her body obviously still needed the extra rest.

“ _I still have not seen any snow”_ Marie suddenly stated sounding grumpy.

Anya snorted at the out of the blue remark and the girl’s obvious lack of patience. _“Believe me, you will hate the snow quicker than you think”_ she said after a moment.

Marie cocked her head _“Why?”_

_“Because I will drag you out of bed in the middle of the night to train in it”_ Anya promised her tone deadly serious.

The girl turned her head to look up at her face _“Really?”_

_“Ask Lexa when we return”_ Anya assured her second rising a brow at the girl doubting her word.


	88. Chapter 88

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes the next one. I quiet like it =) Hope you all do to ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 87  
> Pike tries to convince Marie to leave Anya and return to her own people and Anya knocks him out as a response. Anya offers Marie to let her return to Skykru if she wishes, but the girl declines the offer. When Hannah later implies that Anya is forcing Marie to stay with them, the girl snaps and tells everyone loudly to leave her alone and that she wants to stay with the grounders.

Chapter 88

When they finally reached Arkadia a few hours later it was well past midday. The guards had seen them approaching ahead and the gate had already been opened for them. A crowd of people stood scattered around the open space behind the fence in front of Arkadia obviously waiting to welcome the group of survivors.

Anya spotted Abby, Jackson and Clarke standing only a few paces away from Lexa flanked by Gustus and another burly guard. The general guided her horse over to them with a small bout relieve coursing through her at finally reaching their destination.

Clarke watched how a group of Farm Station survivors followed the Trikru general on foot and how their eyes seemed to widen when they took in Arkadia but she also could not miss how their eyes turned hostile and distrustful at spotting various members of Trikru scattered among them including the commander.

Her eyes seemed to be drawn to Lexa as Anya hoisted Marie from the horse into Lexa’s waiting arms. She noticed the subtle tightening of the brunettes jaw and the flash of worry crossing her green eyes as Marie immediately wound her arms around the commander’s midriff clinging to the woman in what obviously was an uncharacteristic childish gesture for the girl. Her suspicion was confirmed when Lexa shortly held Anya’s eyes before quickly checking the girl over for obvious injuries.

_“Are you hurt?”_ Lexa asked her tone gentle and her eyes still worried when she could not detect any injuries on the girl.

_“They were mean”_ Marie accused her voice slightly whiny as she did so still not giving up her hold over the commander. Lexa’s green eyes immediately narrowed her whole poise transforming now the picture of power itself in the flash of a second as she turned her eyes on the survivors of Farm Station.

Clarke mutely wondered how it was possible for anyone to look as powerful and dare she admit it breath-taking while at the same time being gentle with the girl still encased in her arms. The blonde had taken up enough of their language to understand the meaning behind the few words the commander and the girl had spoken and apprehension settled in her mind that her people were already very well on the way to destroy the tentative peace they now seemed to have with the commander. She could not blame the survivors from Farm Station to be distrustful of Lexa as she herself was now constantly second guessing the brunettes intentions but she had her own personal reasons for that. Clarke had seen Lexa and Anya around Marie enough times in the last days to know that upsetting the girl was a very bad idea as both women were deeply protective of the child interpreting any wrong gesture around the girl as an personal insult.

Anya was also surprised to see Marie acting in that way and wondered if she might have upset the girl more deeply than she had anticipated by offering her a chance to leave.

When Marie caught Clarke staring at her a slight blush settled over the girl’s cheeks and she loosened her arms around Lexa’s midriff stepping away slightly as if she had just now realized that they actually were not in the privacy of their tent but being watched. Lexa mutely squeezed the girl’s shoulder in a silent way to communicate that it was alright.

“They have landed in Azgeda?” Lexa checked with Anya switching to the language shared with Skykru.

Markus had quickly hugged Abby and stepped over to the commander inclining his head respectfully in greeting. Anya nodded to the commander’s question.

“Sixty-three survivors, commander” Markus accounted “I would like to officially thank you on their behalf for offering your help in retrieving the survivors”.

Lexa merely inclined her head in acceptance “Have Azgeda warriors attacked them?”

A dark look passed over Markus face before he answered “Two hundred had landed in Farm Station and survived the fall. Over two thirds have been killed by Ice Nation until now”.

“The ice queen will be called to Polis to answer for her crimes” the commander promised the subtle tightening of her jaw the only outward sign of compassion for those they had lost. Clarke highly doubted that any of her people had even seen the small change wondering slightly when she had become proficient at interpreting the subtle changes in Lexa’s demeanour. “We will leave at first light tomorrow for the Mountain” the commander proclaimed and swept away in the direction of their tents guiding Marie in front of her body with a gentle hand between the girl’s shoulder blades. Clarke had the feeling that she wanted to know what had specifically upset her second so deeply. Once the commander was out of their sight Clarke almost angrily shook her head for once again focusing on the brunette in the first place.

Gustus and the second guard took up their posts outside of the tent after they had entered.

“So what happened?” Lexa asked immediately once the tent’s flap had been closed behind them.

Marie looked slightly guilty still worrying that she had overstepped earlier she apologized “I am sorry for hugging you outside” the girl’s voice was sincere and she lowered her eyes to the ground.

The commander shook her head at the girl “I did not ask you to apologize, but what has happened to upset you?” guiding the girl’s eyes back up by gently tilting her chin upwards.

“The station that fell into Azgeda is Farm Station, the station Marie was born on” Anya interjected when the girl remained silent for a moment. Lexa furrowed her brow not getting the connection between the girl’s origin and the survivors yet.

“The obvious leader of their group, a man named Charles Pike, tried to convince Marie that her place is not among us but at the Ark” Anya elaborated and saw understanding flash in Lexa’s green eyes “He lived close to her family on the Ark and looked after her sometimes”.

Confusion flashed through the commander’s eyes then and Anya detected some doubt in them she herself had felt the night before. So before Lexa could think of offering Marie the same thing she had already done she quickly added “I had offered Marie to let her return, if she wished”.

The general held her breath aware that she had already overstepped her own rank by the offer without consulting Lexa first. The slight narrowing of the commander’s green eyes told her that the commander had come to the same conclusion.

Anya hated how awfully small the girl’s voice sounded as she suddenly asked “You do not want to send me back, do you?”

Lexa’s eyes immediately softened again “Of course not, Marie. And it was not even Anya’s place to offer you to return”.

Marie looked slightly confused at that so Lexa explained “Anya can step back from being your first herself but being the commander’s second is more permanent than that usually only severed by death itself”.

The commander knew that they would have come up with a way for the girl to return to Skykru if that had truly been her wish but it was obvious that the girl was rather scared of being sent back and did not wish to return in the slightest.

“They said you are all savages” Marie suddenly changed the topic away from herself her eyes flashing with a degree of anger Lexa had not anticipated. “How can they think that you are all the same without even knowing you?” the girl exclaimed her churning emotions obvious in the volume of her voice.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at being labelled savage again.

“And they proposed to move into Mount Weather” Marie added the distaste for the place clear in her voice and the tensing of her small frame.

The commander exchanged a glance with her general finding her own troubled feeling mirrored in her brown eyes.

“Skykru will not colonize the Mountain” Lexa immediately reassured her voice firm and her eyes sharp. The consequences for the coalition would be disastrous if that happened. What would hinder Skykru to seal themselves in the Mountain and become the next Mountain Man reactivating the acid fog once they had moved into that dreaded place? She was suddenly glad she had chosen to allow them to gather the materials they thought useful and decided together with the Council that the Mountain would need to be destroyed after that. If she had already been in Polis by now she doubted Skykru would have even consulted with her first before simply moving into the Mountain. Her vision to integrate them into the coalition would have been next to impossible then.

Lexa did not need to tell Marie that it did not matter to her what the survivors of Farm Station thought of her personally. She knew they would learn their place sooner or later or they would simply die unable to adapt to the ground. But she still felt slightly touched how much the girl seemed to take the insult against their people as an insult against herself.

Anya had a smirk on her face and a proud glint her eyes as she said “I dare say Marie made quite the impression on them, I doubt any of them will approach her again”.

“They were mean” Marie repeated her voice whiny again.

The commander quirked a brow at the girl “How were they _mean_?”

Marie shrugged “They just were. None of you are forcing me to be here … I don’t know why that is so hard to believe, like you are all vicious monsters …”

“And I still have not seen any snow” the girl pouted prompting a laugh from Lexa who shook her head at the girl’s antics.

“You will” Lexa promised “Soon enough”.

“And I already told her that she will hate to train in it” Anya added a teasing note in her voice.

“Have you trained with Anya at night in the snow?” Marie asked immediately.

Lexa snorted “Yes. Training in every weather condition be it night or day is important” and at that the girl’s smile fell from her face. The commander softened her eyes “But you will not train this year at night in the snow. You will still need to get used to the cold”. The way the girl had easily caught a cold after the first exposition to rain mixed with slight exhaustion was proof enough of that.

Anya rolled her eyes subtly “How is her body supposed to build strength then?”

“It will” Lexa assured “With time. And not under extreme pressure”. Seeing the girl almost die just a few days ago had been enough to last for the next years so there was no reason to challenge the girl’s health in such a way.

Marie suddenly looked around the tent “Where is Risha?” the girl asked when she could not spot the wolf cub inside.

“Your cub left a few hours ago” Lexa told their second glad to notice that the girl seemed to have calmed down completely again.

“Mmh” Marie hummed “Can we train now?” she eagerly asked her veins still buzzing with energy at having slept for most of the day.

Lexa and Anya exchanged a silent glance. Training the girl in front of the survivors from Farm Station who obviously already thought the worse about their people was bound to grow a crowd.

“Yes” Lexa agreed but cautioned the girl “But let us know immediately when you tire or feel a headache and watch out for your head”. The commander’s voice was worried silently musing if they should not postpone training her for some time but Anya was correct, Marie’s training already had enough set-backs and she needed to build same stamina or she would never progress.

Lincoln and Octavia were also still in Arkadia under Indra’s order as both of them seemed adapt enough to teach some Skykru on how to hunt properly. The village chief had left at first light to return to TonDC to see to the preparations for the cold season there.

But letting Marie train with one of them was too risky right now. Lincoln would probably manage to be mindful that the girl should not hit her head but Octavia could easily forget or hurt her by accident. One of them would train with her instead just to be sure nothing happened.

“Would you prefer to rest?” the commander offered to Anya unaware of how restful her night had been. But the general instantly declined the offer wanting to be present as well in case one of the new additions to Skykru did something reckless.

“When will I get back to training with a sword?” Marie questioned on the way from their tent back into the perimeter of the Ark. Anya easily could tell who had come from Farm Station by the wariness clear on their faces as they saw them approaching. Gustus and Ryder had fallen into step slightly behind them and the general was aware of the image they conveyed. Both Lexa’s and her faces were relatively blank while Marie seemed to chirp something non-stop now nearly bouncing with excess energy as it seemed.

“We shall see” Lexa answered vaguely aware of all the eyes that had focused on their little group. Sounds of ongoing trainings became louder the nearer they came to the free space Skykru had dedicated to combat training. The commander noted with a flash of satisfaction that many of the warriors who had come to Arkadia with her were now training with a few men from Skykru easily identified by their clothing.

Lincoln was sparring with Bellamy at as they reached the training pit and the others had assembled around the fighters as Lincoln explained what Bellamy was doing incorrectly.

“ _Not using his head to begin with”_ Anya lowly commented under her breath as they joined the onlookers.

_“Can I try?”_ Marie asked Lexa after touching her arm slightly to get the woman’s attention. Lexa followed Marie’s eyes which were focused on a dark skinned man with a huge bruise formed around his temple. It was obvious the girl was eager to prove her strength to the man so Lexa concluded that this man was Charles Pike. “ _No, not against Lincoln”_ Lexa denied and Marie’s eager smile immediately dropped from her face. “ _You can spar with me or Anya”_ the commander gave their second the choice.

Marie pulled a face slightly “ _I can’t beat either of you”_ she said with an exaggerated sigh. Anya snorted _“And you think you could win against Lincoln?”_ the doubt was clear in her voice and Lexa shook her head subtly.

Lexa spotted Clarke standing next to Monty and Raven also following the fight and an instant later Lincoln had overpowered Bellamy pinning him to the ground just stopping his fist short from connecting with his temple.

“Heda” the warrior respectfully greeted his commander and afterwards offered a hand to Bellamy to hoist him from the floor. The greeting was echoed by all of her own warriors who all now waited eagerly if they might get lucky to see her step into the training pit herself.

“She is the mighty commander?” Lexa heard Pike’s voice float over to them disbelief colouring the man’s tone “Is that some kind of joke?”

The commander narrowed her green eyes in his direction jutting her chin out defiantly. Lexa unsheathed her two short swords looking down at Marie _“Watch carefully”_ she ordered and stepped up to Lincoln.

The man nodded accepting a sword someone handed over to him. Lexa had not even removed her red sash or the heavy shoulder guard used to the added weight after years of daily wearing them now. The commander moved with a grace and speed Lincoln could not match.

Their swords clashed loudly together but Lexa had not even put half her strength behind the blows. She knew Lincoln was heavier than her by far and the man was a skilled fighter in his own right but his skills would never match her own. She hit the man’s fingers holding onto the sword with her next blow making him release the blade with a hiss instantly. Lexa whirled around him putting one sword against his throat while the other was pressed into his back. In a real fight Lincoln would not have lasted more than one attack against her.

“I surrender” Lincoln proclaimed raising his hands to back his words. Lexa nodded to him and he stepped away from her.

“Marie” Lexa called their second over to her loudly. A warrior offered Marie his sword but the blade was meant to be held with both hands and way too long and heavy for a girl as young as their second. So Lexa turned the short swords in her hands holding onto the sharp blades themselves and offering them handle first to the girl. Marie looked up at her with big eyes as she had never attempted to wield two swords at once, she had barely mastered the moves one would do with one sword the last time she had tried.

Lexa motioned Anya over and the general stepped up to them catching on with what the younger woman had in mind without the need for words. Lexa was keenly aware that all eyes including Clarke’s were focused on them and the survivors from Farm Station had started to murmur amongst each other in discontent at seeing a child being called in to train and being handed swords. It did not help that Marie eyed the swords in her hands with obvious insecurities.

_“Don’t worry”_ Lexa reassured the girl in a calm tone _“I will guide you”._ This sort of practise was not used by many but Anya had also sometimes taught her the exact same way. Anya stood facing both of them her own sword now drawn.

Lexa unfastened the red sash and her shoulder pauldron handing both pieces over to Gustus’ waiting hands and stepped closely behind Marie slightly crouching lower to be on the same height.

The commander nodded to Anya minutely signalling her former mentor to attack. Marie’s grey eyes widened at the ferocity behind the attack her grip on the swords slackening so Lexa quickly stepped even closer wrapping her own hands around Marie’s securing them in place and guiding the girl’s arm so she would be able to deflect the blow easily. She kept a tight hold over the girl’s hands absorbing some of the blow’s strength with her own hands.

They repeated the same procedure for some time before Lexa let go of Marie’s hands only hovering behind the girl to step in should she fail to deflect the blows herself. Anya had also taken out some force of her attacks and slowed slightly to give their second a better chance.

Marie caught on pretty quickly on how to defend herself with the two swords clearly having a better talent at them compared to her attempts at wielding a single heavier sword.

The commander nodded to Anya again signalling her to change her attack from hitting full on the girl’s body testing the girl’s agility.

Marie was caught off guard by the first attack of the general. Lexa quickly had pushed an arm around the girl’s side catching most of the attack’s force with her shoulder and as Anya swept the girl’s feet out from under her in the next attack the commander caught her before she could actually hit the ground making sure her head did not suffer even the slightest blow.

Lexa stepped back from Marie “Attack” she commanded as Anya took up a defensive position. She quickly guided Marie into a perfect stance balancing the girl more evenly with just a few subtle touches.

The girl’s grey eyes were determined as she did her first attempt at an attack but her eyes also betrayed where she wanted the attack to land.

“Quicker” Lexa ordered when Marie was facing Anya again “And stop thinking. The swords are merely an extension of your arms!”

Marie narrowed her eyes slightly. She had been unable thus far to do so. “Trust your body to know the movements” the commander advised.

The girl tightened her grip on the swords as she took a deep breath closing her eyes completely for a moment. Anya waited for her to attack although in a normal fighting situation the opponent would not wait.

The general was slightly surprised with the speed the attack had once Marie snapped her eyes open barely a second later the first sword clashed against hers rather harshly. The woman had not anticipated for their second to get the hang of this fighting technique so quickly and was astonished to feel the other blade come against the other side of her body she had left unguarded while gripping her own sword with two hands.

Shocked at actually having gotten a hit in Marie nearly let the swords drop when she caught sight of a slight bit of fresh blood on the sword that had hit Anya.

“You did very well” Lexa praised her voice kind and her eyes glinting proudly. It seemed Marie had found her weapons of choice now. Short double swords for short distances and throwing knifes for longer distances or even a bow. They would be able to work with her talents quite well.

Marie opened her mouth to apologize but Anya who had detected the flash of horror in her grey eyes just squeezed her shoulder in silent reassurance that she was alright. The worry did not leave Marie’s eyes but she smiled proud with herself.

The Trikru warriors all nodded to the girl when she looked around the onlookers expressing their reverence.

She straightened her spine proudly meeting Pike’s obvious glare without wavering before the commander called her to return to their tent.


	89. Chapter 89

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 88  
> The survivors return to Arkadia and Marie reports to Lexa who unfairly Farm Station views all the grounders the same. Anya and Lexa train Marie in front of Arkadia making a purposeful show out of it and Marie is actually naturally skilled with short double swords.

Chapter 89

“Did you see how I used Anya’s missing guard?” Marie chirped excitedly on their way back to the tent. Her grey eyes were shining in childish delight and both women did not point out that Anya had not used all her abilities. It was rather impressive for Marie to get the techniques of the shorter double blades as it seemed without difficulties. The girl’s skill were still rough and mostly instinctual and needed a lot of work before she would be able to hold her own in a real fight but she definitely had some hereditary talents.

To the girl’s great joy Risha had returned to the tent in their absence and was wagging her tail at the sight of her human. Anya merely rolled her eyes at the wolf cub while Marie immediately crouched down and squealed in surprise when the cub licked her face.

Lexa saw Anya pulling a disgusted face at the sight but felt the corners of her own mouth curl in an involuntary smile.

“She does possess some innate talent” Lexa commented to Anya. Marie was completely absorbed by the wolf cub and had just sat down in the middle of the tent already playing with the cub.

The general nodded with a proud glint to her brown eyes “She has the soul of a warrior”.

“Is the cut deep?” Marie asked her voice worried and her eyes searching for the cut hidden beneath Anya clothes. “I did not mean to hurt you” the girl added “honest…” and they both heard the slight guilt in her tone.

“You do neither need to apologize nor to worry” Anya reassured and her eyes were firm “Being injured in training is normal”. The girl nodded but the general doubted she had really accepted the message yet.

She took of her coat pulling up her shirt revealing a shallow cut which already had stopped bleeding and would not need any attention from a healer at all. “See” Anya prompted “Only a graze” she reassured her eyes softer again.

Marie nodded with a crooked smile which froze on her features immediately “I do not want to hurt you” she added looking smaller and younger again.

“Marie” the commander addressed the girl urging her to step closer to her as she had sat down on a chair next to one of the tables. She gently tilted the girl’s chin up to make their eyes connect and her eyes were open in their expression as Lexa said “We have been over this already. Being a warrior does not mean going around to hurt others. It is rather to learn how to protect your people from harm. Being a warrior is not about violence. Do you understand that?”

“Yeah” the girl said her eyes honest but she shook her head slightly as Lexa still had a finger under her chin “But I meant, that I do not wish to hurt either of you physically”.

Commander and general exchanged a silent gaze both touched by the girl’s obvious concern for them. But Lexa’s lips pulled into a slight smile “We know that. But during training it is normal to sustain minor injuries, just like Anya said. We have both been hurt far worse. And you will also get injured during training sessions, but you will learn from your injuries”.

Marie met her eyes for a silent moment searching for something in Lexa’s green eyes and the commander met her probing gaze steadfast.

Their connection was broken when Gustus announced from the tent’s flap that dinner would be delivered to them minutely.

“Can I have something to feed to Risha?” Marie addressed Gustus himself who nodded with a kind smile on his face as he explained “The hunters have something put aside for your cub specifically”.

“Thank you” Marie answered again smiling freely up at the burly guard. Gustus nodded to her mutely and held the tent flap open for two warriors, a young woman and a man probably as old as Anya, who carried plates filled with food. The man also placed a bowl on one of the table “For the wolf” was all he said and both left without another word.

Marie immediately grabbed the bowl but Anya shook her head “You can feed her after you have eaten” the command clear in her firm tone.

When the girl looked to Lexa the commander already shook her head in the negative suppressing a smirk as she did.

“You can also go hungry of course and feed your damn mutt” Anya reprimanded their charge her tone having taken on a warning edge.

The warning did not fail its intention and Marie immediately put the bowl down on the table again looking apologetically at Risha already waiting at her feet before she muttered a small “Sorry” in Anya’s direction.

“Just eat” the older woman ordered sharply silently wondering why those little situations seemed to continue to come up with Marie. She could not remember having similar problems with Lexa or Tris. Tris had always been obedient to the point and Lexa had only had short bursts of rebellious tendencies that always had ended as quickly as they had come up.

The amusement the older woman noted on Lexa’s face while the commander watched the exchange only angered the general slightly. She had also noted how the girl seemed to always try to get Lexa to overrule her words when the child did not like them. She narrowed her brown eyes at the oblivious ball of fur begging for food from Marie at the girl’s feet. This type of behaviour had increased after Lexa had allowed Marie to keep the damn animal. She should have just left the animal in the forests ignoring Marie’s pleading innocent eyes then, it would have probably saved her from a lot of trouble.

As if the cub sensed Anya’s eyes shooting daggers at her Risha turned her attention to the general now begging for food from her. The smile spreading on the girl’s face as she caught Anya’s disgruntled expression was obviously worth it the general silently admitted to herself.

This night it proved rather difficult to get Marie to sleep. Anya herself was rather exhausted from the long journey and was slightly annoyed that the girl would not stop turning around in the furs trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep and failing.

Risha had long since sprung down from their bed with a low whine obviously also annoyed with the ongoing movements.

Lexa also found it more difficult to fall asleep. She dreaded the upcoming day and having to enter the Mountain were thousands of her people had been killed. The commander wondered if her former mentor had not thought yet about what they were facing tomorrow or if she had simply pushed all feelings away for the night. The girl’s obvious restlessness was only spurring on the unease which had already settled deep inside her bones.

“Come here” Lexa motioned the girl over lifting up her furs for Marie to slip under as well. Anya shook her a silent thankful look above her shoulder and turned around again to finally settle down for the night. Marie immediately settled into her arms with what sounded like a relieved sigh.

As Lexa carded her fingers through the girl’s blonde locks she felt the girl slip into slumber quickly her body slackening against her. Focusing on Marie’s breathing and feeling her beating heart against her own chest lulled the commander to sleep as well.

The mood in the tent was as tense as a bowstring in the morning and Anya was also now clearly agitated with the prospect to enter the Mountain again. Lexa had gathered her calm façade back over the night but she felt as antsy as Anya obviously did.

The commander sighed chewing some bread and swallowing it forcefully not feeling particularly hungry at all. Anya was trying to force Marie to eat something but the girl vehemently said she was not hungry.

The general lost her patience after a few calm attempts snapping at the girl to eat already and that she needed her strength.

Marie’s complexion turned slightly green as she looked at the food shoved into her hands forcefully by Anya.

“Let her” Lexa interjected and when Anya turned angry eyes on her in protest she added “She will just throw it back up if you force her to eat”.

The general sighed pinching the bridge of her throat in silent annoyance snapping a “Fine” at Lexa and turning away from the commander.

Marie sat on the floor Risha cuddled firmly against her chest. The wolf cub seemed to enjoy the attention but Lexa doubted that Marie would need to exert much more pressure to start hurting the small animal.

“Can’t I stay here?” the girl’s voice was small and wavering as she pleaded before they had stepped foot outside of the tent.

“You are the commander’s second” Anya reminded sharply and also Lexa would have liked to give her the choice to remain back she knew that Anya was right and Marie was expected to be with both of them.

The girl inhaled deeply trying to straighten her spine before she followed both women out of the tent. The members of Skykru who would enter the Mountain with them were already waiting for their arrival on the perimeter in front of the Ark. Anya noted with flaring annoyance how Pike also stood beside Markus Kane and Abby and Lexa’s immediately found Clarke among the small group staring ahead of them her blue eyes focused into the woods. The commander doubted Clarke would find returning any easier than she did and she wondered silently why the blonde leader was even here in the first place. But it was not her place to question Clarke on anything so she only inclined her head in greeting to Abby and Markus Kane.

Raven had been able to get four rovers functional again but Lexa had insisted that her people would be traveling with their horses also including two wagons which offered even more storage place. The commander wanted the Mountain closed and destroyed the next day. Marie would be riding with Anya for now and the girl had stayed back slightly petting Lexa’s horse to its obvious delight.

Gustus had stayed with Marie and looked over her mutely. The girl’s nerves were nearly palpable. Her breathing already slightly uneven and her eyes had a haunted look in them and she barely had said a word all morning. The burly man had no idea on how to actually comfort the girl so he simply stayed with her.

The ride to the Mountain was fast and quite. None of the warriors seemed in the mood for talking. It seemed as if the shadow of the Mountain had already reached them. Skykru drove behind the group of warriors in their rovers filling the silence with the constant humming of their metal vehicles. Marie had her eyes closed for most of the ride and her body pressed firmly against Anya’s tense frame behind herself.

The commander only shot her general and their second subtle glances from time to time but she also did not speak. Once they passed the stream which had always served as a natural border between Trikru territory and the Mountain Marie’s breathing seemed to get slightly raged and her grey eyes seemed to look at something far away.

The warriors all dismounted in nearly perfect sync once Lexa called them to a halt with a single raise of her hand. Anya assisted their second in getting down from the horse as the members from Skykru started to climb from their rovers.

Abby and Lexa had decided beforehand that they would move together from room to room determining what could be of use so that the commander would see for herself that they did not take more weapons than they already had in their possession.

Monty and Raven would go to the control centre of the Mountain trying to figure out which systems they would be able to take down for good. The mechanic also had various explosives slung over her shoulder stored in a backpack which would be enough to destroy all the entrances so that no one would be able to come back. Monty’s mother had remained behind at the Ark only after lengthy discussions and the reassurance that Charles was with her son.

The Mountain was much bigger from the inside than Lexa had anticipated and Abby agreed that searching every single quarter for something useful would take too long restraining their search to defined areas.

When they entered the dining hall they were assaulted by the musty smell from the food left on the plates that had started moulding weeks ago. Marie tried breathing through her mouse feeling bile rise in her throat silently noting that except for the moulding food the place looked that the inhabitants had just left all of a sudden and could be returning any second.

The lower levels of the Mountain stood completely under water that had flooded into the system from the damage Raven had done to the dam. Raven’s voice suddenly boomed through the speakers calling the commander to the control centre to “show her something”.

Lexa nodded to Anya to keep on going with Abby in her stead. But Lexa actually did not know for sure on where the control centre was located and was surprised when Clarke seemingly eager to do something offered to take her there. The anger had vanished from Clarke’s blue eyes for now being replaced by a silent kind of horror. Pike’s voice also carried over the speakers as he tried to convince Monty of something before the speakers turned dead again.

Anya had a reassuring hand on Marie’s shoulder the whole time guiding the girl closely to herself as they crossed several rooms shortly not seeing anything of value.

Anya swallowed harshly when she recognized the next room on the way to the medical facility. Marie also had recognized the room on a subconscious level and stood rooted to the spot, her eyes wide and unseeing and her breath coming in short sudden puffs of air. The hand on her shoulder which had felt reassuring before now felt suffocating and Marie did not recognize anymore to who it belonged.

When Anya tightened her fingers around the girl’s shoulders slightly meant as a grounding gesture it had the opposite effect. Marie violently shrugged out from under the hand on her shoulders her mind flashing back to the man that had dragged her into the room and pushed her onto a metal table. She opened her mouth to scream but no sound left her throat. She blindly scrambled away from the hands grabbing for her again until her back hit something solid and she slid down hugging her knees tightly to her body.

Anya felt completely helpless when Marie retreated even further from her. She remembered that Marie had been in a similar state when she woke after the Mountain and had been absolutely inconsolable until she had cried herself into an exhausted sleep.

“She is having a panic attack” Abby commented wanting to help. The woman tried approaching Marie herself but the girl’s reaction to the doctor was even more violent and the girl completely backed away into a corner whimpering pitifully as she did so.

“I can see that” Anya seethed through clenched teeth. Abby eased back away from Marie when it was clear that she could not reach out to her.

“I can administer a mild sedative from the medical facilities” Abby suggested knowing that they would shortly reach their destination.

But the general immediately shook her head crouching low in front of Marie trying to calm the girl without actually touching her just yet.

Abby wanted to lead the group further ahead to the medical facilities but with the commander still in the control centre and her general now otherwise occupied they would need to keep going without the surveillance they had agreed on. Markus held the woman back shaking his head intently. Their situation was tense enough as it was.

It did seem to take forever for Marie to regain some kind of focus and her breathing was still ragged. When her grey eyes connected with Anya’s again actually recognizing the woman she immediately flung herself at her burying her head into her neck trying to breath in her calming sent.

“SShh” Anya tried to sooth her having barely managed to keep her balance once Marie flung her arms around her “ _You are fine. No one will harm you again here, little star”._ Feeling the girl still shaking in her arms and obviously crying Anya just kept her in her arms hiding her face from the horrendous place around them.

Anya had been so occupied with trying to reach out to Marie and calm her that she had not noticed that Lexa had returned with Clarke, Pike and Raven. The general spotted that the man suddenly had a busted lip bleeding slightly down his chin and Lexa was rubbing at a hand coincidentally.  She would ask her later what had prompted the commander to lash out at the man.

Lexa immediately went over to Anya placing a comforting hand on Marie’s back at seeing the girl in obvious distress. _“What happened?”_ the commander asked her general lowly too low for the others to catch.

“ _A panic attack”_ Anya said looking around her at the room shortly her eyes lingered for a second on the table they had strapped Marie to and drilled into her body for her bone marrow. Realization dawned on Lexa at the dark look crossing over Anya’s face and she nodded “ _We will not stay much longer”._

At the other side of the room Pike spoke loudly with Abby and Markus his voice incensed as he did so “You cannot mean to just destroy all this! We will be save here!”

To everyone’s surprise it was Clarke who cut his rant short a dangerous glint in her blue eyes “Yeah, moving into the place where thousands of their people have been held like cattle, hung from the ceiling to be bled dry and discarded like garbage. Brilliant idea!”

“The timer has already been set” Raven drawled seemingly bored with the discussion that had been going on for some time in the control room already.

“Then set it back” the man raged at the mechanic who did not even bate an eye at him leaning against the wall casually.

“Timer?” Abby asked confusion in her tone.

“Yeah” Raven said “The whole thing will go boom in three hours”

The chancellor gaped at the young woman. “You had wanted me to find a permanent solution, didn’t you?” Raven asked sceptically.

Abby nodded coming to her senses and urging the group on. Three hours were not long and they would need to hurry.

“ _Sorry”_ Marie whispered to Lexa when the woman checked if she was alright her voice wavering and still crying.

Lexa shook her head her eyes soft “ _You do not have anything to apologize for”._


	90. Chapter 90

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this already chapter 90 ... 
> 
> Previously in chapter 89  
> Marie is worried that she has hurt Anya. The night before returning to the Mountain is tense and Marie has a panic attack inside Mount Weather. Raven programs a timer to blow up the Mountain.

Chapter 90

Filing through the medical facilities of the Mountain was more distressing than Lexa had anticipated. Abby had quickly found a strange kind of cabinet filled with what looked like hundreds of sort of bags filled with blood.

The commander silently mused how many of her people had died just to build up this fast storage. She would have liked nothing better than to see all of the storage destroyed but Abby tried t argue with her that the blood could be able to save the lives of others and sadly those that had been robbed of this blood were most likely dead already.

Anya had been unable in her attempts to get Marie to let go of her even for a second. Every time she even slackened her hold on the girl’s body Marie just held on tighter again even going so far as whimpering when Anya had tried to loosen the girl’s fingers clinging to her coat. Lexa finally told her general to just let their charge be for now that she would probably let go when she was ready.

Clarke’s blue eyes had widened at the sight of all the blood bags the Mountain Men had stored in advance feeling her throat constrict painfully and clogging with bile.

Pike was still lowly rambling to everyone who would listen that blowing the Mountain up was a fast error on their account. Clarke actually went so far to take the man’s arms and forcefully lead him to the harvest room showing him all the now empty cages indicating what had been done here.

The commander had followed both of them subtly trying to make sure that nothing happened as she knew their time window was getting shorter with each second ticking away slowly. Lexa’s breath caught in her throat at the sight and she must have gasped audibly for Clarke turned around immediately spotting her.

“We would never be able to live here” Clarke said addressing Pike “And we have just left the prison of the Ark, do you really want to exchange a prison in the sky for a prison under the ground?”

The blonde’s words were filled with a kind of devotion that convinced the commander that Clarke would never stand by and watch her people move into the Mountain. But she would still rest easier once the Mountain had been destroyed for good and there was no chance of Skykru returning to it once she had left to Polis.

When Lexa did not return after a few minutes Anya followed them standing rooted on the spot in the entrance to the room. Although the smell of the room had changed slightly now that it had been standing unoccupied for a few weeks, Anya could not stop her mind from flashing back to being imprisoned here herself.

Marie felt Anya’s body stiffen in her tight embrace and she instantly knew that something was wrong. But Anya did not move to take a weapon to defend them so Marie cautiously turned her head to look around. Anya’s face looked stony and her brown eyes were widened, her jaw pressed together tightly.

“Anya?” Marie addressed her very lowly touching her fingers to the woman’s cheek cautiously. Anya’s brown eyes instantly snapped away from the cages looking down at the girl’s grey eyes. The general swallowed forcefully past the lump lodged into her throat and tightened her arms around the girl now more for the benefit of calming herself rather than Marie.

Raven’s voice coming from behind Anya made all of them turn “We should leave soon” the mechanic proclaimed “The explosion will go off in about thirty minutes. I don’t know how powerful it will be” she pointed Marie “She should be as far away as possible from the shock wave”.

The commander nodded to signal that they understood and told Anya “ _Go ahead with Marie”_. The general nodded turned on the spot without another word and carried Marie out of the room in the direction of the elevator.

Anya felt her breaths coming easier with every step she took in the direction of the exit and she exhaled fully once stepped outside and breathed in the first bout of fresh air again smelling like the forest around them.

Outside she saw their warriors together with some of Skykru loading the things already brought outside into the rovers and some things onto the carts they had provided. The general directly took Marie to her horse hoisting the girl up in front of her and guiding the horse away from the Mountain to the stream that had always served as a natural border.

Marie also seemed to relax with every moment that passed and slowly the haunted look left her grey eyes. But it was already obvious that the emotional turmoil had exhausted the girl paired with the unrestful night they had.

“When will Lexa be back?” Marie suddenly asked after long moments of silence both just taking in the nature around them.

“Soon” Anya said as the time should nearly be over before the Mountain would explode.

“I wanna go home…” Marie said lowly her eyes downcast and her voice forlorn.

Anya tightened her arms around the girl letting her fingers glide through her hair “It is over, Marie. We will never return to the Mountain”.

The girl nodded with a heavy sigh a shiver running down her spine. Anya rubbed the girl’s back soothingly in silence waiting for the others to catch up with them.

A few moments later the earth suddenly seemed to shake under them and a loud series of explosion was heard. Anya instinctively put her hands over Marie’s ears to shield from the force still palpable to this distance from the Mountain. The general felt a silent kind of assurance settle in to her mind that the Mountain truly was destroyed now. The news of the final destruction of the place that had haunted their people for centuries was bound to appease some of the tension between the clans.

Once Lexa lead the warriors to the place where Anya and Marie waited the general guided her horse to walk next to Lexa’s to return to Arkadia.

Lexa’s ears still rang slightly with a high beeping sound and she was irritated. The boy here people had speared weeks ago for crossing the border to the Mountain had obviously fallen in love with one of the Mountain Man and had snuck into a rover and into the complex. Raven had detected his movements just a few minutes before the explosives were programmed and Monty had hurried inside with Clarke to retrieve the idiot boy. He had struggled against their grasps screaming bloody murder at both of them for “melting his love”. Lexa had wanted to step in as no one of her people would have dared to address her in such a way and thought that Clarke’s people should not be allowed to either but the tears in Clarke’s blue eyes had held her back.

The ride back from the Mountain seemed to take longer. Due to the carts laden with goods they had to travel slower.

“Does your head hurt?” Lexa checked with Marie just to be sure. The girl shook her head and yawned wildly she hoped they would arrive soon.

“You can rest” Anya assured their charge in a soft tone urging her to lean back and sit more comfortably.

“When will we return to Polis?” Marie asked but did lean back slightly her head lying on Anya’s shoulder.

“Abby wanted to check you over once again in a day or two and then we will travel back” Lexa answered.

Marie nodded with a relieved expression and finally closed her eyes letting herself be lulled to sleep by the rhythmic movements of the horse under them.

The general gently shook the girl in front of her awake when the carcase of the Ark already loomed over them. Marie blinked her eyes open surprised that she somehow had slept the whole way back. Lexa’s smirked at her good naturedly and offered her hands to help their charge from the horse. Marie’s legs felt slightly wobbly once they connected with the solid ground again and Lexa had to straighten the girl to keep her upright until her legs regained some feeling.

She smiled up at Lexa sheepishly “I thought I had gotten used to riding now” her voice sounded a bit pouty as if angered that her body still reacted strongly to the exertion.

The commander shook her head “Your body is still weakened. You will regain your strength”. But getting used to riding for longer distances would still probably take the girl some time and even though Lexa herself had grown up with horses and was used to riding her body still hurt after a day solely spent in the saddle. Marie just needed to build up more muscle and learn to cope with a certain level of pain on a daily basis. But she was still young and would learn with time.

A sudden commotion caught their attention. The Skykru had already started to unload the things they had gathered from the Mountain. Clarke was facing her mother her expression unyielding and her arms crossed over her chest “I will not stay here, Mum!”

The chancellor was balling her hands into fists at her side “You will not walk out there! There is a bounty on your head! You will not leave the safety of Arkadia!” her shouts were loud and everyone seemed to pause in what they were doing.

Markus obviously intent to delegate between them already stepped up to Abby lying a comforting hand on one of her arms.

“Then you will have to lock me in!” Clarke nearly spat at her mother turning on the spot and storming away in a huff. Lexa saw Bellamy hurrying behind the agitated blonde. She would have liked to offer her to accompany her to Polis where she would also be save under her protection but she doubted Clarke would be inclined to take her up on the offer or even listen to her at all. So she silently agreed with the chancellor that Clarke was at least save here.

“The Council will be meeting again tomorrow morning” Markus suddenly addressed Lexa shaking her from her thoughts. The commander inclined her head to the man and he once again invited her to attend the meeting. She accepted the invitation with another silent nod wondering silently why the Council wanted to have her attendance again.

“Marie?!” a voice suddenly shouted excitement evident in the high pitched quality of it.

Marie turned to the voice her eyes lightening up immediately as she recognized the owner. Anya had put a hand on her dagger to protect their second but let it fall away again as she watched a girl slightly taller than Marie brown hair pulled up into a ponytail run towards them. A woman who had the same hair colour and identical facial structure hurried behind the child probably the girl’s mother.

“Oh, my god, Maura!” Marie exclaimed embracing the girl immediately once they stood next to each other “I can’t believe it, you’re here!” The girl’s voice was abuzz and a huge smile was plastered on her face. It was obvious the girl’s knew each other well.

The woman who had hurried behind Maura finally caught up with her daughter and she looked slightly nervous faced with the Trikru general’s unwavering calm façade. “I apologize for my daughter just rushing here” the woman tried to apologize.

Lexa who had finished speaking with Markus had also turned. The commander noted how all that had previously watched the exchange between Clarke and her mother had now turned their attention to them. Some of the Skykru guards seemed to freeze up as if afraid that a single wrong movement could now cause the situation to shift. Lexa kept her face neutral and politely waved the woman’s apology aside.

The relieve flitting over the woman’s features was palpable and she seemed to relax remembering her manners she quickly introduced herself and her daughter “I am Lily Montgomery and this is Maura, my daughter. We are also from Farm Station. I would like to thank you officially for the assistance of your people to bring us here”.

The commander nodded her expression still unreadable but she was internally surprised to hear someone from Skykru actually thanking her for their efforts.

“I was a teacher on the Ark for the younger kids” Lily explained to fill the silence that had settled between them unsure if her addressing the commander would be seen as some kind of affront. “And these two were real troublemakers together” the woman’s face took on a melancholic smile as she remembered a time when Marie had still been in her lessons.

“What did you teach them?” Lexa asked genuinely interested.

Marie and Maura seemed completely engrossed in their conversation both giggling from time to time at something the other had said. Anya still stood slightly behind Marie listening loosely to what the girl’s said to each other. She was both relieved and perplexed to see the girl acting so carefree. Marie nudged the other girl playfully both now giggling together over what must have been a joke the general did not understand. The longer the girl’s talked with each the less she seemed to understand as Marie and Maura used phrases she had no incline to more often.

“Very basic things” Lily answered and elaborated at seeing honest interest on the young leaders face “The kids I taught used to be between four and ten years old. I would teach them how to read and write, basic maths, like mostly the numbers really. Telling time, colours and a basic physical education”.

The commander nodded along as the woman explained what her purpose had been. Her people usually did not receive any kind of basic tutelage safe for how to survive. She hoped that she would be able to implement a system similar to Skykru’s at least in Polis in the foreseeable future.

“Do you have some kind of schools?” Lily asked trying to learn something of the new culture around them aside from the violence they had already been faced with.

The commander shook her head “Not yet, no. It is hard to tell people that their children should learn how to read when they do not need the skill to survive”. But she knew that for her people to ever evolve into a better peaceful future they needed more knowledge first. She had already ran the idea past Titus a few times but the flamekeeper was steadfast in his opinion that the normal citizens simply did not have a need for such useless skills.

The other woman seemed to be lost for words and Maura stepping up to her mother diverted her attention. Lily gave her daughter a soft smile caressing her cheek lovingly for a moment before she turned back towards the commander “Dinner will be served in the communal hall now. I am sure you and your people would be welcomed to join us”.

Markus had already offered the same invitation to her only minutes ago but she had just declined her head. Marie was no also standing next to Lily and the woman shortly embraced the girl repeating the gesture of caressing the girl’s cheek. Marie’s grey eyes turned to Lexa the pleading to accept the invitation evident in them so Lexa just mutely nodded her consent although she would have preferred to leave the perimeter of the Ark. She mutely decided that Marie’s reacting blinding smile was worth her own discomfort for now.

Anya was also aware of all the eyes that seemed to be permanently glued to them now since Maura and her mother had started to speak with them. The general wondered how Marie did not seemed affected by all the prying eyes at all or if the girl truly did not notice the heavy tension.

Marie was obviously just happy to be reunited with her friend it seemed. The girls were happily talking with each other all the way to the communal hall while Lexa flanked by Gustus and Anya accompanied by Lily who seemed slightly unsettled by Gustus’ presence all followed silent.

Their entrance to the communal hall pulled a sudden stop to the chatter that had been resonating through the halls. Only Marie and Maura continued to talk undisturbed.

Markus was the one to gather himself back together first and instantly stood from his place to welcome the commander. Lexa spotted Clarke sitting together with Bellamy and Raven at a table a sullen expression on her face. Her blue eyes had also turned to them just like everyone else’s and the commander noted the surprise flitting over them.

Marie and Maura immediately went over to the serving counter used to the processes of the Ark’s daily life.

Markus had a table quickly cleared to them against Lexa’s claims that such a thing was completely unnecessary.

Marie turned to the adults still behind them with an exited smile on her face “There is blue jelly”. Lily shook her head with an amused smile pulling at her lips while Gustus, Anya and Lexa all wondered what that was supposed to mean.

Jelly turned out to be a strange looking substance that wobbled when the box it was in was shook. It was obvious the girl’s had their fun with it.

Anya eyed the different foods served at the serving counter distrustfully. She barely recognized anything and wondered what it even was they were eating. Gustus did not look any better and just accepted a piece of what must be some kind of bread declining everything else.

Marie excitedly tried to explain to Anya and Lexa what was offered at the serving counter, warning them on what she did not like at all and pointing out here favourites. Jelly obviously was one of the things she absolutely liked best.

Lexa eyed the jelly the girl got handed over with a raised brow. She doubted she had ever seen food with such a strange colour and texture. It also seemed to smell strongly but Lexa was unable to put a name to the strangely sweet smell.

Under Marie’s constant prompting and not wanting to antagonize all the Skykru watching them both Anya and Lexa accepted a lot more from the strange food than they would have without the girl with them.


	91. Chapter 91

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 90  
> Mount Weather is destroyed for good and they all return to Arkadia. Marie is reunited with a friend from her past and convinces Lexa and Anya to eat with the others inside the Ark.

Chapter 91

While they ate Marie and Maura continued talking non-stop. Anya wondered how the girls even managed to eat anything with the speed they had while talking. The general had cautiously tried some of the strange food Skykru had given to them and she had been hard pressed to spit the things out again. They tasted completely wrong and their textures were off as well, she even had no idea what food it should have resembled. The commander did not seem to fare any better as she put down her fork unobtrusively after taking a few bites at least trying most of the things.

Marie recounted roughly all that had happened since the guard had forced her into the dropship and they had fallen to earth.

Lexa continued to politely talk with Lily subtly asking the woman details about how the Ark was run. The woman seemed willing enough to answer the questions and asked very little in return, but it was still obvious that she did not share the negative opinion a huge part of Skykru had about the grounders.

Anya mostly listened to Marie’s retelling of her adventures on the earth. It was obvious with every word that the girl cared as deeply for herself and Lexa as they did for her and Anya was glad to note that nothing within the girl’s words hinted at a desire to return to Skykru. She seemed a little sad that they would leave to Polis in the next days and that she would not see Maura any longer then but there seemed to be no doubt in the girl’s mind that she would return to Polis and stay there.

When Marie had finished the main meal she switched over to the jelly trying to offer some to Lexa but the commander immediately shook her head to decline. Marie obviously still remembered the scene she had created in Polis and dropped her offer immediately turning her attention to Anya.

Lexa had an amused smirk pulling at her lips as their charge scooped up a bit of the strange blue things holding the spoon in Anya’s direction “It is really yummy” Marie tried to convince Anya to try the jelly. The general rolled her eyes and levelled a glare at the girl that made her pull the spoon away with a pout. On the last instance she even made to offer Gustus some but the burly man immediately said “ _Don’t even think about it”_ before Marie could make the actual offer.

Maura easily rescued Marie’s mood by smirking and saying “More for us!” and laughed while taking a spoon for herself and starting her own portion. Marie laughed at the theatrical way and just ate her own portion.

The commander asked Lily what this thing actually was made of and was astounded to hear that the woman did not know at all. All she had to offer was that most of the things were artificially produced somehow and that Farm Station had produced the only real grown food from which most had been processed.

The girl was in the process of telling Maura how she had met Lexa and that she had to decide if she was to live or be killed.

The brunette girl turned her eyes away from Marie and looked directly at the commander “So you let her stay?”

Lexa was slightly surprised that the girl now included her in their conversation but she nodded. She was even more complexed by the girl’s next words “Thank you for letting her live”.

Lexa was spared from giving an answer as Maura immediately turned her focus back to Marie.

“She seems to have had a few adventures on earth” Lily mused also listening to Marie’s tale now.

The commander nodded silently. She knew that most people tented to exaggerate what had actually happened when they retold something but strikingly Marie did not, quite the contrary actually as Anya thought. The girl left out huge parts of where she had been in actual danger and retold the meeting with the pauna as nothing more than a little adventure.

When Marie had finally finished telling her own story, completely leaving out what had happened at the Mountain, Maura tried to tell what had happened to them.

But her mother interrupted the girl “It is late already, sweetie. Maybe you can talk more tomorrow”.

Both Lexa and Anya noted how the woman had formulated her words vaguely obviously aware that they would have the final say over where Marie would be tomorrow.

Maura turned her best innocent eyes on her mother pleading to be allowed to stay out a little longer but Lily resolutely declined. The woman knew that the commander and general probably wanted to return to their tents and it was obvious they had not wanted to leave Marie in the Ark on her own.

Marie did not even try to ask to stay longer with Maura and seemed even eager to leave the Ark.

During their time in the communal hall Lexa had silently observed that seeing the commander together with a mother and girl from Skykru seemed to have eased some tension and more people looked relaxed over time.

The way Marie had been completely carefree in Maura’s company was gratification enough to her already.

Nevertheless all three of them seemed to breathe easier again once they finally stepped foot out of the Ark. Marie was happy to see Risha already waiting for her in their tent, the little wolf cub wagging its tail at her human immediately in greeting and licking her fingers as they came in reach.

“When do we go back to Polis?” Marie asked once she had settled on the ground her back to one of the posts of the tent Risha cuddled onto her lap.

Lexa discarded her red sash and stripped out of the armour she had worn for the day before she answered “Soon. But we will attend a Council meeting of Skykru tomorrow morning and Abby wanted to look you over before we leave”.

Marie nodded in understanding and started to yaw, the exhaustion of the day catching up with her.

“Go to bed” Anya commanded stripping out of her armour as well.

The girl immediately stripped down as well changing into one of Lexa’s tops she had worn the night before. “You won’t leave, will you?” Marie asked addressing both of them hesitating to lie down.

“We will be here” Lexa reassured the girl her eyes soft and calm.

It was obvious Marie was still hesitant to lie down and Anya stepped over to their charge squeezing her shoulders in a soothing gesture. “You are save here, Marie” the general tried to quell the girl’s obvious fears “And we will keep watch over you”.

The girl nodded with a heavy swallow and finally let herself sink down into the furs. Risha immediately climbing up her body settling down over her chest. Marie did not know why, but she was afraid to close her eyes. She feared that once she did she would wake up back in Mount Weather.

Lexa and Anya remained up for some more time speaking softly to each other. Both of them kept an eye on the girl turning around in the furs obviously unable to fall asleep.

“What did you say to Clarke a few days ago?” Lexa wondered remembering the change in Clarke’s attitude and not having had the chance to bring it up before now.

Anya rolled her eyes subtly “You may be alright with the girl trampling all over you out of a bout of unjustified guilt and honour, but I am not. I merely tried to set her straight somewhat”.

The commander smirked slightly shaking her head in fondness for her previous mentor “Whatever you said seems to have had some impact” she paused and looked directly into Anya’s brown eyes “So thank you”.

“I will always have your back, Lexa” the general reassured her eyes honest and determined.

Lexa gave her a smile in response looking over to Marie at the girl still tossing and turning around “We should join her. Or I doubt she’ll ever sleep tonight”.

Anya nodded although Lexa noted on the worry flitting through the general’s eyes. “She will be alright eventually” Lexa said reassuring Anya just like herself.

The older woman nodded again with a heavy sigh when Lexa turned a probing green eyed stare on her “Are you?” the commander asked her tone soft. Lexa had always respected the older woman’s boundaries usually never speaking about her feelings at all but somehow with Marie in the picture now even their relationship seemed to have been altered.

Anya met Lexa’s stare unwaveringly “The Mountain is destroyed” was all she was willing to say. Going back there had affected her as well but she knew that the memories would fade eventually.

When they finally joined Marie in their furs it was obvious from the girl’s exhausted expression that she had not slept at all until now. Risha had hopped down from the bed long ago when Marie did not stop to toss and turn jostling the small animal with every movement.

Both of them settled closer to Marie then they normally did but the girl smiled slightly at both of them settling down more relaxed now in both of their comforting presences.

The night itself was exhausting to all of them. Marie immediately woke up once she left the comforting warmth of the embrace that had lulled her back to sleep. So that all three of them were woken multiple times through the night finding it harder to get Marie back to sleep with every time she woke.

Anya’s mood in the morning was a versatile mixture between exhaustion and clear worry that Marie had been this strongly affected by going back to the Mountain.

Lexa felt a headache probing at her temples from the exhaustion and Marie herself seemed drawn and tense.

The commander would have liked nothing better than to call her warriors to dismantle their make-shift camp and leave to Polis right now, but she had agreed to speak to the Council once more. She hoped the meeting would be quick but she had a foreboding that it would not.

Lexa had a bath prepared for Marie to help soothe the girl. She hovered near when Marie stripped in case the girl would falter. The commander moved to help Marie get into the large tub. Her eyes narrowed slightly when they fell to the girl’s hip. The circular wounds from the Mountain had still been easily visible the last time she had seen the girl undressed and now they were barely visible anymore having faded into light scars. But the scars looked way older than they were completely smooth against her skin. “Does your hip still hurt?” she asked the girl offering a hand for Marie to balance herself.

The girl wiggled around slightly under the water as if testing her body and scrunched her face up in thought. They had been riding for most of the day yesterday but her hip truly felt fine. When she told so to Lexa worry took over the commander’s features.

Marie closed her eyes in the warm water soothed by the calming scent of the herbs Lexa had put into the water. She heard Lexa and Anya talking with each other in another part of the tent but she did not listen in too comfortable in the water.

“We will leave after the Council meeting” Lexa proclaimed to Anya. The older woman watched slightly confused as Lexa strode out of the tent ordering the warriors to start dismantling their camp immediately ready to leave once the meeting finished.

“Had Abby not wanted to look Marie over once again?” Anya asked once Lexa returned to the tent. The commander nodded but shook her head “The wounds from the Mountain are also gone from her skin, completely. There are only small scars left which look to be years old”.

The worry Lexa felt was reflected in Anya’s eyes “So not just her head has healed but an old injurie as well…” the woman wondered out loud. The commander nodded Abby had thus far as far as she could tell really only looked at Marie’s head and not deeply at the rest of the girl’s body and she was determined to keep it that way. Healing in such a way was not normal by any logical reason and keeping it hidden felt more important than ever.

Anya called Marie out of the bath soon finding the girl nearly asleep in the warm water. It was obvious that Anya’s patience was rather thin this day and she tugged at Marie’s hair with slightly more force than necessary while redoing the girl’s braids and prompting a hiss from Marie every now and then trying to move away. Anya snapped at the girl to sit still having to redo part of a braid that had fallen from her grip when Marie moved away.

“You are hurting me” Marie said in a whiny tone her grey eyes tired.

“Then sit still!” Anya snapped back her patience nearly snapping.

Lexa intervened by pushing a cup of strong tea into Anya’s hands swatting the general’s hands away from Marie’s head and taking over Marie’s hair for the older woman. The commander’s fingers were gentler on Marie’s hair and she quickly finished the girl’s braid tying them off with thin strips of leather. 

Gustus soon announced Markus Kane bidding entrance into the commander’s tent and Lexa called out to let the man pass.

Markus nodded his head in greeting “The Council meeting will start soon” the man said his eyes halting slightly on Marie as a frown took over his features noting the exhausted expression on the girl’s pale face.

The commander stood from her throne and motioned Markus to proceed them. Marie slipped her coat on and followed Lexa and Anya out of the tent her feet slightly trudging.

Activity around the Ark was still slow as most people still seemed to be asleep. Their footsteps echoed loudly through the metal halls of the Ark and the Council was already waiting for them.

The commander noted that Charles Pike seemed to be a new extension of the Council but she had already spoken with the rest of the adults gathered in the small room.

They had left a chair empty for her at the foot of the table and Lexa strode over to it sitting down gracefully red sash flowing from her shoulder.

Pike’s eyes narrowed as the man spotted Marie walking in hidden slightly behind the commander’s bigger body. “This is a council meeting” the man exclaimed with a testing tone to his voice “And no place for a child!”

Lexa met the man’s dark eyes calmly “As my second Marie is privy to all meetings” was all she said her tone ringed with finality and Markus quickly cut in before Pike could say anything more.

“Commander” he addressed her formally “Thank you for your attendance”.

The man asked if they would be able to open trade routes with the other clans knowing that they would probably need the help of the clans before they would be able to sustain themselves.

“I will not force any clan to trade with you” the commander answered calmly “But you may speak in front of the ambassadors. They will decide if their clans want to open trade negotiations with Skykru”.

Markus nodded “When will that be possible?”

“A small delegation may travel with me back to Polis” Lexa offered “That way you should be able to travel back to your settlement before winter has hit fully”.

The rest of the meeting mostly did not concern her people but Abby thanked her for leaving warriors behind to teach them on how to track game and hunt with a bow and sending a wagon laden with furs they would direly need.

Abby already had called an end to the meeting when Pike spoke up “What about the farming land?”

The chancellor immediately shook her head but the commander looked at the dark skinned man probingly waiting for him to speak.

“The land around Arkadia is not highly versatile” Pike declared “We need more land to lay out fields”.

“Skykru has already been given more than enough ground” the commander answered levelling the man with a glare.

“We are owed more than that” the man shot back unmoved by her glare.

“You are owed?” the commander questioned with a raised brow “Skykru has been allowed to keep the part of my land you crashed on and you will make do with that!”

She stood from her chair her eyes burning in their intensity as she stared at the man. Markus tried to get Charles to keep silent but Lexa simply strode from the room unwilling to listen to the man’s rambling.

Internally she was seething, Skykru had landed in their land and she been gracious in allowing them to stay and still they were calling for more!

Marie and Anya followed the commander out of the room. The girl promptly crashed into Lexa’s back. The commander stood rooted just a few steps from the door Clarke leaning against the wall in front of her.

Anya quickly caught Marie stumbling back from the impact before she could fall over.

“Clarke” Lexa acknowledged the other woman with guarded eyes. It looked as if Clarke had been waiting in the hall for some time now.

Clarke seemed unsure of herself her blue eyes uncertain as she said her voice barely above a whisper “You are leaving”

The commander nodded a furrow on her brow not unsure of why Clarke approached her in the first place.

She watched the blonde woman take a deep breath as if gathering her strength before she asked voice now slightly louder and stronger “The offer you made before the …” Clarke’s voice halted and a flash of emotion passed over her eyes, she swallowed again and continued “ … Mountain, is that still available?”

Clarke’s expression was vulnerable as she finished.

Lexa only blinked at the blonde for a moment completely caught off guard by the request.

“To come to Polis?” the blonde added interpreting Lexa’s silence as confusion.

The commander nodded her eyes unreadable to Clarke “You will always be welcome in the capitol, Clarke”.

The blonde seemed to let go of a relieved breath and nodded her eyes grateful “When do you leave?”

The commander wanted to say “now” but altered it to “When you are packed”.

The blonde smirked slightly pointing to a backpack at her feet “Already done”.

“You will not leave Arkadia!” Abby suddenly exclaimed loudly from behind them startling Marie who had not heard the woman leave the meeting room behind them.

“Mom” Clarke sighed rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest jutting her chin out defiantly “I will not stay either”.

“It is not save outside for you” Abby nearly pleaded.

“She will be save under my protection” the commander offered turning to the chancellor.

The woman huffed and looked away from Lexa’s intense eyes her gaze landed onto Marie “We can do the last check-up now then”.

The commander shook her head “That won’t be necessary”.

The doctor wanted to argue confused why the commander had changed her mind but Lexa just inclined her head and turned around leaving the woman standing in the hall.


	92. Chapter 92

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 91  
> They eat inside of the Ark together with Skykru, Marie talking with her friend animatedly. The night is rough for all of them, as Marie nearly finds no rest at all. Lexa attends a council meeting inviting a Skykru delegation to Polis. Clarke asks to go to Polis with Lexa.

Chapter 92

Anya was slightly confused at Clarke’s request to join their group to Polis. But she thought it would be better so that they would at least know where Clarke was, undoubtedly Lexa would have send out scouts to look for her immediately had Clarke just vanished into the wilderness again. She would still keep an eye on the blonde woman not entirely sure they should be trusting her not to try something stupid. The rage seemed to have left her blue eyes for the most part but Anya was not fooled into believing the girl had forgiven already what had happened between her and Lexa.

Outside the sun had now risen basking the land in the golden light of another morning and the air was still crisp as the sun had already lost most of its power as autumn started to change into early winter.

Marie looked around once they stepped outside hoping to see Maura before they would start their travel. She was slightly sad to leave her friend behind not knowing when or if they would see each other again.

With a smile enlightening her face Marie did spot Maura together with her mother, she turned to Lexa asking if she could say goodbye quickly. The commander nodded halting in her step to watch Marie hurry over waving at Lily and her daughter.

She sent Anya to organize a horse for Clarke and the blonde followed the general immediately seemingly not wanting to stay alone with the commander. Lexa mutely wondered what had motivated Clarke to ask to come to Polis as she had been convinced the blonde would never want to have anything to do with her anymore. Hope started to bloom in her chest unbidden that whatever had started to grow between them before the Mountain might not have been lost completely, but she ruthlessly tried to quell the hope turning her attention back to Marie. Giving into thoughts like that was dangerous for her, the coalition was standing on wobbly feet and she would need to remain focused solely on her people.

The commander was surprised when Lily came over to her, the woman’s expression unsure as she said “I know that it is probably not my place to address you, commander”. Her tone and glancing back at her daughter and Marie minutely already told her that the woman wanted to address a personal matter.

Lexa silently waited for the woman to continue her eyes shortly flitting over to Marie making sure the girl was alright and when her gaze returned to Lily there was a slight smile on the woman’s face.

“I just wanted to ask you to look after her” Lily said her voice grave looking straight into the commander’s green eyes “She has been through so much already and I can tell you care deeply for her”.

Lexa met her gaze with a raised brow wondering what the woman implied.

“You look at her the same way every mother looks at their children” Lily simply added with a knowing look in her brown eyes.

Lexa’s eyes widened slightly, was she really looking at Marie like a mother would?

“Marie has already lost her parents once and she is such a sweet child” Lily continued oblivious to Lexa’s inner turmoil her brown eyes softening when she looked over to Marie and her own daughter “I know that Marie does not wish to stay here or I would have offered to take her, so please keep her save and …” she hesitated for a moment before she added “… and love her”.

Lexa was lost for words for a moment and remained short of an answer as Marie had finished her goodbyes with Maura and both girl had come over to them.

Lily shortly enveloped Marie into a strong hug and as she let go she gently swiped a strand of hair that had somehow gotten loose from a braid away from the girl’s face. The woman smiled almost sadly at Marie “Be save, Marie and come and visit when you can, will you?” The girl nodded tightening her own arms around Lily for a moment and smiled up at the woman.

“Come” Lexa addressed Marie nodding once to Lily and turning around. If they did not leave soon they would not reach TonDC before nightfall.

Marie followed Lexa obediently although it was obvious that she was not happy to leave anymore. Lexa watched the girl’s shoulders drop dejectedly but she had no idea how to offer her any comfort. Her mind still was occupied with processing what Lily had said to her. Did she really love the girl like a mother would? But she immediately shook her head, of course she did, she just had no idea when she had started to feel that way.

“Love is weakness” echoed through her mind spoken by Titus’ voice and that to be a commander was to be alone. Lexa swallowed her throat suddenly tightening because she truly loved the girl and she had already been weak for her, crippled nearly by the intensity of the grief she had felt when she had turned the switch. Fear settled into her veins at the thought of losing the girl and she swallowed past the lump lodged into her throat forcefully, Anya and she would never be able to guarantee that nothing would happen to Marie but she had no doubt in mind that both of them would die trying to protect her if necessary.

The camp was already dismantled when they left the perimeter of the Ark but not everything had been stored away yet. Judging from the jostling activity Lexa judged they would be settled to leave soon.

Markus hurried behind them wanting to know if it would be alright for the Skykru delegation to arrive later on their own in Polis using a rover to travel there as they obviously would not be able to organize the small delegation in such a short notice. The commander nodded her consent calculating in her head that they would reach TonDC by nightfall, rest there for the night and continue to Polis at first light. If they travelled without disturbances and without break they might be able to reach Polis slightly into the next night. She ordered them to arrive in five days from now, giving herself enough time to travel back to Polis and to notify the ambassadors of Skykru’s impeding arrival.

The commander joined Anya and Clarke standing with the horses followed by Marie trudging behind her silently obviously still upset.

The general and Clarke were caught up in an argument. The blonde leader was steadfast in her opinion that she would be able to ride on her own.

“You will not be able to keep up” Lexa said voice neutral meeting Clarke’s gaze only fleetingly. Her own black horse came over to them and immediately nudged Marie’s shoulder neighing at the girl in greeting. The commander watched her horse’s antics with a smirk flitting over her face minutely and thought that her own horse obviously already was completely enamoured with their second and had completely ignored Lexa’s presence.

“I will manage” Clarke answered through clenched teeth. She was too stubborn to admit that she had no experience in riding but she doubted it would be really hard, what could be so complicated about simply sitting on a horse anyway?

Anya rolled her eyes at the young woman’s stubbornness “ _We should just let her try now, so that she sees she’s wrong”._ Anya had deliberately switched into their mother tongue to solely address Lexa. The commander raised a brow at her former mentor but a glance at Clarke told her that the woman would probably not be persuaded any other way. Clarke was nothing if not stubborn to the core. So she gave her former mentor a subtle nod but her attention was called to Gustus who approached them.

The burly man had Risha in his hands by the excess fur in her neck. No cart would travel with them this time so the wolf cub needed to be transported on the horses as well. The cub was growling at the gruff handling but was unable to bite the hand holding it.

Marie stopped petting the black mare and immediately took Risha from Gustus settling the cub more comfortably in her arms and the growling ceased at once. Lexa’s horse sniffed at the cub in interest laying back her ears at the smell of a predator.

Anya hoisted Clarke up on her own horse trusting the mount to accept the stranger on its back without protest.

Lexa was torn between watching Clarke and how her own horse reacted to Risha. Marie did not seem to notice how the horse became more nervous.

Clarke held herself on the horse rigidly prompting the horse to continue shifting underneath her. Anya led her horse by the reigns and gave it a nudge to urge it into a fast trot. Clarke yelped in surprise and frantically held onto the saddle. The hazelnut horse did not take well to the unmoving weight on its back and started to capriole to get rid of it. Clarke had been completely unprepared for the sudden violent movements and promptly fell from the horse back with another yelp.

The blonde glared up at the horse who had turned back around after unseating its rider. She stood up brushing some dirt from her clothes as she did so.

Anya had a knowing smirk on her face when she joined Clarke and petted the flank of her horse. The general knew that all their horses would have reacted similarly to such an inexperienced rider. The terrain was covered by soft grass and her horse had not run really fast so the blonde would not have hurt herself seriously.

Clarke glared at her and huffed when Anya simply met her angry gaze completely unfazed. “Alright” she conceded “I thought riding would have been easy”.

The general rolled her eyes at the childish tone but nodded “You will learn to ride later”.

Gustus still stood next to Lexa and Marie and the commander was trying to calm her horse. The guard said “I have already tried showing the cub to my own horse but the cub spooked her off”.

“Can’t Risha run on her own?” Marie interjected keeping the cub close to her chest and scratching the cub’s head.

Lexa shook her head “The way is too long and we will travel fast. When Risha is grown she can but not now as a cub”. But she internally doubted that any of their horses would accept a grown wolf better than they did with the cub now.

Anya led her own horse back towards the commander but the hazelnut mount immediately started to balk when it caught the scent of Risha. Lexa motioned her general to leave them and it seemed that her own horse would have to accept the cub or they would not be able to bring it with them at all.

No matter how much Lexa tried to calm her horse it started to want to flee every time Marie came closer with Risha again. The commander told Marie to wait a slight distance away from her horse and went to retrieve a shawl to block the horse’s sight in the hopes of getting it used to the scent at first.

But as soon as Lexa had turned her back and quickly strode away Marie stepped up to the commander’s horse again. She had taken Risha into her hands now and held the cub directly in front of the horse’s nose. The mare sniffed at the cub again flicking her ears around as if looking out for danger.

Marie let go of Risha with one hand and scratched at the horse’s nose with a gentle smile. The commander’s horse huffed out a big breath and surpassed the cub butting its head against Marie’s shoulder emitting a friendly neigh.

The girl beamed up at the horse “You’re such a good girl” she cooed petting the horse. Risha squirmed in her hand wanting to get some attention as well. The horse recoiled slightly when Marie pulled the cub back against her chest but returned to be petted some more only a moment later.

Anya had helped Clarke onto her own horse again a slight distance away and saw Lexa leaving from the corner of her eye. Her heart gave a jolt when she noticed Marie approaching the black mare again with Risha outstretched in her hands. She cursed under her breath at the girl’s recklessness hurrying over to their charge with quick strides.

She was perplexed to find the commander’s horse calm now seemingly accepting the cub in the girl’s arm now that Marie petted the horse again.

Marie looked startled at her fast approach and her grey eyes widened slightly when she noticed how angry Anya looked.

“ _Didn’t Lexa tell you to wait for her?”_ Anya addressed the girl her tone sharp and her brown eyes blazing.

Marie opened and closed her mouth without a word coming out biting at her lips with a guilty expression on her face but she was saved from giving an actual answer when Anya’s horse started to make its discontent known at having Clarke on its back again.

Lexa levelled the girl with a clearly displeased glare at finding her orders so blatantly ignored. Internally she was impressed that their charge had managed on her own to get the horse to accept the cub but she was well aware how dangerous the situation could have been if Marie had failed.

Marie let her shoulders drop and stared at the grass at her feet downtrodden again. Lexa sighed under her breath and handed the shawl over to Marie.

The girl looked at the shawl with a puzzled expression unsure what to do with it so Lexa took it from her again wrapping the long piece of cloth around the girl’s body to form a sling of sorts in which Risha could be placed securely.

The camp had been completely dismantled and the warriors who would travel with them were ready to depart and leave the Ark behind. Lexa hoisted Marie up in front of the saddle of her black horse and mounted behind the girl signalling to the others that they would leave now.

Marie turned back slightly in front of Lexa looking back at the Ark looming behind them feeling her throat constrict almost painfully at watching the metal carcass leave her view as they reached the treeline.

Lexa silently watched their charge sensing her bad mood clearly while Anya rode slightly behind her with Clarke sitting behind her in the saddle.

Risha squirmed in the restraint of the shawl and Marie rearranged the piece of cloth in a way that Risha could peek her head out. The girl let her finger glide through the soft fur and felt Lexa tightening her arms around her.

They travelled mostly in silence as Lexa wanted to cover as much ground as possible urging them into a fast pace.  Fortunately it was not raining anymore but the wind still had an icy quality to it and shortly after they started their travels Marie leaned back in the saddle to get closer to Lexa’s warm body.

“ _Are we staying long in TonDC?”_ Marie asked after a few minutes of silence looking up at Lexa slightly. Risha had calmed down and the cub seemed to sleep soundly now.

“ _No”_ Lexa answered _“We will continue to Polis as soon as possible”._

Marie nodded turning her eyes back on their surroundings and silence settled over them once more the constant sounds of the horses’ hooves accompanying them.

Anya felt Clarke holding tightly onto her and she already thought that the blonde girl’s fingers were bound to leave slight bruises on her hips with the way she clung to her. It was obvious that the Skygirl felt completely uncomfortable on a horse and seemed afraid to fall down again. The general could see from the corner of her eyes how Clarke would keep on looking at the commander time and again. She was slightly surprised that Clarke even stayed silent as most of Skykru seemed to feel uncomfortable to stay in silence for too long.

It took them most the day to finally reach TonDC and uncharacteristically for Marie the girl had not fallen asleep at all through the travels and stayed silent for most of the way.

The citizens of TonDC welcomed the commander and her entourage warmly. Clarke was surprised to see the state TonDC was in as most of the village had already been rebuilt. When Anya offered her a hand down from the horse her blue eyes were wide as she looked around. Anya noted how Clarke’s legs seemed unsteady under her and she internally pitied the girl for the discomfort she was sure to feel once they continued to Polis.

“Our people are strong” Anya commented on Clarke’s obvious surprise “We will endure and thrive again”.

The younger blonde simply nodded but did not say anything in response.

Lexa was welcomed by Indra as the warriors of their entourage already started to unpack some of the horses and raise a make-shift camp for the night. TonDC was still too small to offer housing to all of them and the nights were too cold already to sleep unprotected from the elements.

Marie had remained with Lexa’s horse scratching its nose softly with a smile on her face when Risha started to squirm again having felt that they had finally dismounted. A young man approached Marie offering her some innards to feed to her cub and the girl immediately thanked the man who was obviously a hunter for the village.

Lexa and Anya both were occupied with overseeing the work at the camp while Indra gave an update to her commander regarding the status of TonDC and what they had in store. The chief was sure her village would survive the winter no matter how harsh it may be.

Clarke had watched how a grounder handed Marie some bloody innards and how the girl proceeded to feed them to her cub. She looked around the village and was astonished to spot a few children playing a game of tag on the street. She had heard people whispering the title she had been given “the commander of death”. She had thought she would breathe easier outside of the confines of the Ark but seeing these people watch her with a mixture of awed gratitude and tentative welcome proved harder than watching her former friends.

She went over to Marie and the commander’s black steed immediately neighed in her direction its ears flat against its head. Marie had finished feeding Risha the innards and the cub had left in the direction of the tree line, the girl carefully petted the horse’s nose calming the animal.

Marie silently looked up at Clarke wondering what the older girl would want from her periphery she could see Anya also watching them carefully. Clarke had a lost look on her face and seemed not to know what to do at the moment.

“Where is home for you?” Clarke suddenly asked almost startling Marie with the out of the blue question.

Marie slightly cocked her head at the older girl narrowing her eyes as she did so and her eyes flitted over to Anya and next to Lexa before she said “It is not a place. It is where Anya and Lexa are”.


	93. Chapter 93

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still can't believe how long this story has already gotten ...  
> Thanks to all of you, who regularly take the effort to write a short review =) They really make my day and spur me on to write regularly.  
> If any of you have a suggestion/ or scene or something you would like to see included, just leave a short review and I will see what I can do. Sometimes I get a little stuck on how to proceed and those suggestions might help in overcoming such gap. 
> 
> Previously in chapter 92  
> Marie says goodbye to her friend and her mother asks Lexa to look after Marie. Lexa is confused by the depth of feeling she has for Marie. The group leaves for TonDC together with Clarke.

Chapter 93

It was almost dark when the make-shift camp was finally finished. Anya had ushered Marie over to the communal fire pit to get a portion of a freshly roasted boar. The girl was worried that Risha would not return in time before they would leave again.

“When will we continue to Polis?” Marie asked between some bites. Clarke sat somewhere next to Anya feeling utterly uncomfortable under all the scrutinizing gazes.

“We will rest a day” Lexa explained from her spot next to Marie her voice even and her face blank. She had miscalculated how many horses would be able to provide and the animals needed the rest as she had pushed them to travel faster than necessary through the day. It irked her that they would be delayed for another day but it was no use to push their mounts even more. The commander already thought about finally offering Marie the kill marks she had asked for weeks ago. TonDC would do as a location for the ceremony as well, receiving the very first kill mark was always special.

She could see that the girl was tired out from the long journey. Their charge would be unprepared for the harsh pain of the first mark and she judged that some tiredness to numb the pain could do no harm.

Marie seemed relieved with the answer knowing that Risha would likely return either in the night or sometime in the morning. Even though they had not stopped at all through the day she was not feeling particularly hungry and just nibbled at the meat without eating much at all. She had no idea why she was feeling sort of down, she should be happy with the prospect of returning to Polis but for some reason she wasn’t.

Lexa distracted her from her thoughts standing up from the log she had sat on in one elegant fluid motion. The commander let her eyes travel over those gathered around the fire pit. She felt Anya’s brown eyes on her and Clarke shortly glanced up at her as well.

The commander addressed Indra lowly “I will require a ceremonial knife”. The chief raised her brow in question but nodded and turned around leaving the fire pit minutely to retrieve the item.

Marie looked up at Lexa with a slightly cocked head glancing at Anya in question. The general had caught Lexa’s low words and nodded to the commander before she said under her breath “I hope you still wish for those kill marks”.

Marie’s grey eyes widened when the meaning of the words sunk in and she straightened slightly nodding with a fleeting smile.

Lexa loudly proclaimed that it was time for Marie to receive her first kill marks and the warriors answered the proclamation with an exited roar. It was rare for the commander to bestow the honour of a kill mark to anyone.

Indra returned shortly after offering a dagger to the commander that was bound in a black piece of cloth.

Marie felt nervous all of a sudden unsure of what to expect exactly. She had seen the many kill marks on Anya’s body and she had no doubt that getting them would have hurt a lot. The memory of the Mountain Man taking aim at Anya flashed up in her mind followed by Lexa falling to the floor under the effects of the poison.

Blood was rushing loudly through her ears and she barely heard when Lexa asked her to kneel down in front of her only Anya gently nudging her onto her knees got her into the desired position. She shivered slightly at the sight of the dagger. It was gleaming in the darkness the firelight reflected on the gleaming metal. Its tip was curved in an unusual way and Marie had never seen a blade like this before.

Anya divested Marie of her coat and pushed the girl’s shirt slightly down exposing her shoulders. The skin was still unmarked of any scars and only a few ranks of her large tattoo peeked out around her neck.

The commander gasped onto the girl’s shoulders firmly and their eyes connected as she pressed the curved edge of the blade into the unmarked flesh over her collarbones. Marie hissed slightly at the sharp pain but her hiss was swallowed by the warriors chanting something in Trigedasleng which Marie did not understand through the rushing sound in her ears.

Lexa was handed another knife this one now glowing a bright red where the blade had been heated in the fire pit and Marie’s eyes watered immediately when the blade was pressed against the bleeding little wound sealing it shut as the stench of burning flesh rose into her nose.

The commander handed the ceremonial dagger over to Anya offering the honour to bestow the second mark to her general. The woman accepted the dagger with a silent nod and her brown eyes shown with a strange mixture of pride and regret as she edged the second wound into the flesh above Marie’s collarbone leaving enough space between the first and second mark so that they would stay distinct as two marks.  It was as if she herself could feel the pain of the second blade sealing the wound shut coursing through her own system.

All tiredness had left Marie’s eyes and tears were glistening in them and her face had a sick greenish complexion. Anya hoped the girl would not throw up right here but keep herself together until they would be in their tent.

The people roared loudly acknowledging Marie as an honoured member of themselves now. Receiving the honour of the first kill mark was a sort of threshold in the life of a warrior signalling the transition between childhood and adulthood.

Clarke’s eyes clearly showed her horror at what she had just witnessed and the blonde was relieved when Anya offered to escort her to her tent before returning to their own tent with Marie after the inhabitants of TonDC had shared a drink in honour of Marie.

Marie felt slightly wobbly on her feet and the wounds pulsed angrily against her collarbone with every heartbeat. She had known that it would hurt but she had not anticipated just how much but she still felt a small surge of satisfaction that she would forever be reminded of the time she had made her first kill to save Anya and how she had nearly killed Lexa without even meaning to.

The alcohol Anya had forced into her hand as to not offend the others was making her feel a strange kind of fuzzy and she stumbled almost blindly in front Anya feeling a guiding hand on her shoulder. On the edge of her consciousness it registered in her mind that Anya and Clarke were talking in rather heated tones but she was unable to decipher the words.

During the drink that had gone around the fire pit some inhabitants of TonDC had approached Clarke reverently thanking her for freeing them of the shadow of the Mountain forever. The commander had proclaimed that the whole Mountain was destroyed now and the news had brought a round of cheers through the crowd. Clarke had seemed to shrink into herself when more and more people came forward to personally thank her. She had been unable to say anything in response being on the verge of either exploding or fleeing when a small boy had approached her at last. She judged the child to be no older than six years old and he also thanked her telling her that both his parents had been taken by the Mountain and tears had involuntarily welled up in her blue eyes.

Lexa had watched her people approaching Clarke silently from a slight distance. It was obvious that the blonde felt uncomfortable but she could not help her right now. Whenever their eyes met accidentally Lexa saw a flash of rage in Clarke’s blue eyes. She felt a flash of guilt at being part of the reason for the struggle Clarke was facing but she could not have mad another decision. Looking back now she knew for sure that she would again take the deal.

Anya had rescued her from the situation by offering her to escort her to her tent. The general kept a firm hand on Marie’s shoulder and narrowed her eyes at Clarke who walked slightly in front of them her hands shoved firmly into the pockets of her jacket and her eyes gleaming angrily.

The general huffed under her breath, she knew that the people would be offended if the blonde Sky leader kept reacting this badly to her righteous praise “Wanheda is a title of great honour among our people, Clarke” she stressed her tone even.

The blonde suddenly stopped as if frozen by her words and her eyes were blazing as she spat “I do not want to be honoured for genocide!” her voice was loud and agitated and Anya had not doubt in mind the blonde would have stormed off on her own if she had any destination.

She rolled her eyes meeting the Sky leaders gaze unfazed “You destroyed our greatest enemy” she explained “Something no commander was able to. You have killed a few hundred, only some really innocent among them, while they have taken thousands of our people through the years”.

She pointed towards a relatively small tent to their left side “Your tent for the night” was all she said and guided Marie away from Clarke towards the bigger tent of the commander. Anya could hear Clarke huffing but the rustling of the tent flaps told her that the girl had entered the tent and she knew that guards would keep an eye on the Sky leader through the night.

Anya pushed Marie to sit down on a stool next to the big table where some maps lay scattered around. The girl sunk onto the stool with a dazed look her hands immediately going to her collarbone gingerly inspecting the fresh wounds.

“Keep away from them” Anya reprimanded gently swatting the girl’s fingers away. She knew the pain would only increase if the girl picked at the fresh forming scars, Nyko would have an ointment to help with the healing and which would ease the itching the healing scars would cause in the next days.

Marie looked up at her with her big grey eyes “I did not think it would hurt that much” the girl confessed her voice expressing her surprise.

Anya snorted under her breath. She still remembered how much her own first kill mark had hurt physically but she thought the ones she received later hurt less as she knew what to expect.

After a few moments of silence Marie suddenly said “I am a real warrior now, am I not?”

A small smile tugged at Anya’s lips as she nodded her expression still serious and grave “And warriors need to rest” she said a teasing note to her tone. She could watch the exhaustion reappearing on the girl’s features with every passing second.

The girl frowned but after she had down the cup of water Anya had handed over to her she obliged and laid down on the furs already prepared for them.

“Will you stay?” the girl’s voice sounded small and her expression reflected how vulnerable and stirred up she was right now.

Anya nodded shrugging out of the heavy coat and the light armour she had worn underneath the coat and slipping out of her boots. She wondered internally why the girl was this riled up. Both she and Lexa had noticed that the girl’s mood had seemed off for the whole journey so far but they had no clue what had dampened her spirit as the girl had been uncharacteristically quite.

When she laid down Marie still had her eyes stubbornly open but Anya was unable to decipher the emotions flashing through the grey orbs. “What troubles you?” she asked their charge in a soft tone watching the girl’s expression carefully.

“I don’t know” the girl said sounding slightly whiny as if she was annoyed by her feelings as well.

“Mmh” Anya huffed “Not good enough of an answer. Try again. You have been awfully quite since we left Skykru”.

A flash of emotions on the girl’s face tipped her off that leaving Skykru was a huge point in the girl’s feelings.

“You will undoubtedly see your friend again” Anya tried guessing for the reason. She had learned already that Marie would try to evade sleep as long as she could if she felt troubled and the girl needed to rest.

Marie nodded but her troubled expression remained but she also did not say anything just kept on looking at Anya intently.

“I cannot read your thoughts” Anya huffed after a few moments of silence knowing that guessing might as well take the whole night.

“Maura still has a mother” the girl exclaimed after a few more silent moment.

Anya blinked at the disconnected statement furrowing her brow trying to understand the reason for Marie’s mood. Orphans were something completely normal among their people so she was unable to decipher the problem.

“I do not have any parents anymore” Marie added when Anya still looked confused after sometime.

Anya nodded her brows still furrowed “And you will never have parents again” she stated the simple fact. But obviously that had been the wrong thing to say.

Marie’s expression fell completely and tears gathered in her eyes with quivering lips she suddenly turned away from Anya turning her back on the woman while bursting into tears.

Anya blinked at the girl’s back stunned by her reaction. She cautiously put a hand on Marie’s shaking shoulder but the girl shook her off immediately scooting away from her touch.

In exactly this moment Lexa entered the tent and narrowed her eyes at the scene she found. It was obvious Marie was silently crying but was refusing comfort from Anya which somewhat unexpected. Lexa met Anya’s gaze silently which reflected how perplexed the older woman was herself.

The commander quickly discarded her red sash and large shoulder pauldron together with the rest of her lighter armour and her two swords.

Marie laid facing the larger part of the tent so that Lexa could easily sit down in front of the girl efficiently cornering her between Anya and her own body.

“You are not crying because of the kill marks, are you?” she asked the girl in a soft tone gently urging the girl to look up at her.

Marie instantly shook her head her lips still quivering and a few more tears sliding down her cheeks.

Lexa carefully wiped the tears away with a gentle touch “What is it then?” she inquired keeping her tone gentle.

After a long silence Marie finally exclaimed voice gruff from crying “I will never have a family again…”

Anya and Lexa shared a silent glance and the older woman sat up behind Marie putting a hand on her shaking shoulder to sooth the girl but otherwise she seemed rather lost for words. Nothing they would say could change the fact that the girl’s parents were dead.

Lily’s words flashed up in Lexa’s mind but she shooed them away vehemently. She wiped away the fresh tears from the girl’s cheeks shushing her in soft tones.

It took a few moments until the exhaustion of the day caught up with their charge and Marie had cried herself to sleep. Both Anya and Lexa stood up from the bed again sharing their worried expression.

“She will get over it” Anya mumbled after some moment of silence between them. Both of them had turned so that you could watch the girl sleeping her expression still looking somewhat troubled.

Although Lexa internally doubted her previous mentor’s words she nodded. She hoped that seeing her old friend again together with facing the Mountain one last time had just upset their charge and she would turn back into her normal chirpier self on her own with some quieter days.

They sat hunched over a map of their surroundings settling on the route they would take once the horses had rested until Marie started to toss around under the furs and Anya went over to calm the girl down again before she could wake up completely.

The night passed relatively quietly and Lexa or Anya had managed to keep their charge asleep fighting off her nightmares before she could be woken by them.

To both of their relive Marie’s mood had lifted considerably after a restful night so neither of them brought the episode from the evening back up.

Nyko came into their tent to clean Marie’s fresh kill marks. Although it was intended for them to scar they needed to be kept clean before an infection could fester. Marie grimaced in pain when the healer put a wet rag to the wounds but apart from that the girl kept sitting obediently still until the healer had finished.

They went to the communal fire pit together to get some breakfast. Marie was slightly disappointed that Risha was still nowhere to be found but she knew that they were staying another night and hoped that the cub would have returned by then.

After breakfast Marie accompanied Lexa to the training pit where Indra was already overseeing Octavia’s training. The older girl had clearly gained a lot of experience in the past weeks and Marie doubted she would be able to hold herself against her now. Octavia was sparring with Lincoln and Indra stood watching criticizing if Octavia made an error.

Lexa made Marie run a few times around the training pit to warm up the girl’s muscles and she saw that Anya was trying to teach Clarke how to ride a slight distance away.

After the girl finished her rounds she came to a stop beside Lexa glancing over at Anya as well just as Clarke promptly fell from the horse for at least the third time in a row.

Marie furrowed her brow “Why have I not fallen down once yet?” the girl wondered obviously genuinely curious.

Octavia winced in sympathy for Clarke and chimed in before the commander could answer the question “Because you got the “cute kid” bonus”.

Marie looked over at the older girl with a frown a slight pout on her lips as she said “I do not!” and she crossed her arms over her chest in a way that had Lexa fighting off a smile tugging at her lips at the undeniably “cute” antics of the girl.

Ignoring the girl’s antics for now Lexa moved to stand directly in front of her getting in sparring position prompting Marie to do the same. Lexa immediately made a few minor corrections to Marie’s stance before they started a light sparring match.

Internally Lexa had to admit that both she and Anya were taking it easier on Marie in training then they had to but still training with children always demanded of the mentor to hold back. There was no use beating a child to the ground over and over without giving them the chance to learn something. The fondness Lexa had spotted in Indra’s eyes when she supervised Octavia told the commander that they were not the only ones who now had a soft spot for a girl from the sky.


	94. Chapter 94

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 93  
> The group makes a stop in TonDC where Marie receives her first kill marks.

Chapter 94

The day they had to wait in TonDC for the horses to recover passed relatively quickly. Marie was happy when Risha suddenly turned up shortly before it was time for the last meal of the day.

After the training session Marie had been left to her own devices for some time and she had ended up with the commander’s horse again.

Anya had given up trying to teach Clarke how to ride it seemed the blonde Sky leader would need more than a short lesson to really learn how to guide a horse. It certainly did not help that the blonde was obviously very impressed bordering on frightened by the huge mounts.

Anya’s horse had tried to come over to Marie as well when the girl stood petting Lexa’s steed. But the black steed had neighed aggressively at Anya’s horse to back off as if it did not want to share the girl’s attention.

Gustus stood not far from Marie keeping an eye on the girl unobtrusively and watched how the girl glared up at the commander’s steed. Marie stopped petting the black horse all together and moved over to the general’s horse saying something to the animal in a soft tone too low for Gustus to catch the words. She now gently scratched Anya’s brown horse behind its ears and after a moment Lexa’s back horse came over hanging its head and butting the girl on her shoulder as if to apologize.

The girl let out a loud laugh but as she turned she looked up at the black horse with strict eyes “Don’t be mean again, or I won’t pet you anymore” the girl threatened the commander’s steed.

Gustus had to stifle a laugh at the scene shaking his head with fondness in his eyes. The girl was spoiling both the commander’s and the general’s horses rotten with her attention and the animals were war horses and not pets. He watched a boy close to Marie in age who was obviously a second to the warrior responsible for TonDC’s stables work and care for the other horses of the warriors. Gustus was struck by the difference between the two children.

The boy did his tasks dutifully focused on his work completely he already sprouted a serious expression. He had seen the same boy at the communal fire pit the night before laughing and joking with his friends.

For Marie it still seemed to be the other way around. She was easily distracted from the minor tasks Lexa or Anya would give to her, looking around her at the world with wide eyes full of wonder. It was obvious she did not have the years of training the boy already had but her antics and chirpier personality were something different and absolutely charming. He did not doubt that the girl would grow to be a fine warrior under Lexa’s and Anya’s tutelage. But she was still pretty much a child and he hoped she would be able to remain this way a little longer before the harshness of their world would turn her as serious as it already had done to the boy.

Anya suddenly appeared behind Gustus coming to stand next to him watching her charge from afar for a moment. Her eyes were soft although her words were annoyed as the general rolled her eyes “She is spoiling both of them”.

Gustus smirked good-naturedly at the other woman but before he could say anything Marie looked in their direction and with one last pet to both horses she hurried over to Anya her features still exited “Is it time for dinner yet?”

The general nodded “Do you need more of Nyko’s ointment?”

Marie scrunched her brow one of her hands immediately reaching up to tug at the shirt scratching uncomfortably over the wounds.

“That is a “yes” then” Anya remarked swatting the girl’s hand from her collar before she could start scratching.

“They itch” Marie commented her voice tinted grouchy.

The general nodded “I am sure Nyko can provide enough of the ointment to last until we reach Polis” walking with the girl to the communal fire pit.

She spotted Nyko standing and talking together with Clarke. The blonde Sky leader had helped the healer for the rest of the day. A group of young hunters had recklessly tried to kill a pauna. Three of them had not survived and two had been gravely injured while three others only suffered minor injuries and had assisted the other two back to TonDC. Nyko was grateful for the help and Clarke herself had been pleased to be able to do something productive.

The blonde looked more relaxed and at peace than Anya could remember ever having seen her and she made a mental note to mention to Lexa that it could certainly not harm to have Clarke help the healers in Polis as well. She knew the commander would of course be able to keep Clarke in the capitol solely as her guest but giving her a purpose could only help her find her own place and maybe start to accept what she had done at the Mountain.

Marie smiled at Nyko when they reached the healer and the man met her smile with kind dark eyes “I guess you require more of my ointment” the healer asked and Marie immediately nodded.

“What do you put in the ointment?” Clarke interrupted them her voice reflecting her genuine curiosity.

“I will bring a pot of the ointment to the commander’s tent” Nyko addressed Anya directly and then turned back to Clarke starting to explain which herbs he used, how they looked, how they needed to be handled, which herb had which property and so on.

Anya had never felt any interest in healing and urged Marie further in the direction of Lexa who was caught up in a conversation with Indra.

A second distributing food around the fire pit went from warrior to warrior handing out plates already filled with bread, a few berries and some freshly roasted meat. Marie accepted her own plate with a kind “thank you” startling the young second and Anya lightly glared at her own second. They had been over this kind of everyday manners many times before but the few days spent back at the Ark had obviously set the girl back slightly falling back into older habits. The girl looked at Anya sheepishly but ate her dinner in silence.

After the meal Marie returned to the commander’s tent together with Lexa and Anya a bowl with innards in her hands for Risha. When they entered the cub lay in the middle of their furs rolled together into a little ball of fur.

Annoyed the general narrowed her eyes at the animal sending another glare Marie’s way while Lexa just smirked silently and started to get rid of her commander regalia. Marie crawled on top of the furs the bowl still in her hands and dangled a bloody part in front of the sleeping cub.

The cub’s grey nose twitched at the smell and its eyes popped open a second later snatching the piece of meat from Marie’s fingers with what looked like careful sharp little teeth.

Anya reprimanded Marie to get out of their bed at once as she had no intention of sleeping in furs soiled with bloody innards. The angry undertone in her mentor’s voice had Marie obey immediately and the girl scrambled to get down from the furs in a blur Risha crawling behind her hands holding onto the bowl.

Anya stood facing the bed glaring constantly at Marie with a strict expression until the girl had placed the cub at the ground to her feet and carefully started to feed the cub there. Lexa just silently watched the exchange with barely hidden amusement opting to remain the silent observer and let Anya handle the situation on her own.

After being fed and seeing that the bowl was indeed empty Risha promptly jumped back onto the bed. “Your mutt will not sleep in my bed in Polis” Anya commented seriously glaring uselessly at the cub.

A young girl was sent to their tent by Nyko delivering the ointment he had promised to provide. Marie got out of her coat and shirt and Lexa cleaned the wounds for her again and put some of ointment on the wounds with gentle fingers. The wounds still looked an angry red but they did not seem infected.

“Time to rest” Lexa proclaimed nudging the girl to lay down.

Marie furrowed her brow looking up at the thin material of the tent “It is not even dark yet” she countered looking up at Lexa with pleading puppy eyes.

“And we are going to leave before dawn” Lexa deadpanned gentling pushing Marie to sit down on the furs.

The girl looked around Lexa at Anya turning her pleading eyes on the older woman “Can’t I stay up…”

But Anya did not let their charge finish her question interrupting her in a sharp tone “Do not even think about it”. Anya remained stoic even as Marie let her shoulders drop and pouted slightly. The general kept on taxing the girl with a piercing glare until she conceded and simply laid down on the bed.

Lexa was slightly puzzled that the girl now obviously tried to manipulate them against each other. She internally asked herself if she had tried the same when she was younger with Anya but she could not remember. It seemed Anya was at least sort of immune to Marie’s pleading puppy eyes as she had felt that she would have given in and just read something to the girl instead until she would fall asleep unwilling to see the girl unhappy.

They both turned in shortly after Marie and the girl immediately snuggled up to Lexa holding a slight grudge against Anya. Lexa willingly enveloped the girl in her arms letting her press her head against her chest listening to her heart beat and feeling the girl’s breath even out a few moments later signalling that she had finally fallen asleep.

The night passed rather peacefully and Marie thankfully only woke up briefly. Afterwards Anya calmed her back down until she fell asleep again now firmly nestled against the woman’s body.

As Lexa had told Marie the evening before the camp started to be dismantled around them long before the sun rose for the day. Even though the night had been restful Marie was still not pleased to be woken at this time. Lexa and Anya were both already dressed and ready to leave their shared tent when Anya finally stepped over to the bed and tried to wake Marie.

The girl whinnied in her sleep turning away from the hands trying to shake her awake and burrowed deeper under the warm furs.

Anya narrowed her eyes at the girl and with one firm tug she had taken the fur away from Marie which had been covering her body. The girl startled awake instantly letting out an indignant squeak at the sudden cold air and lack of warmth.

“I said stand up” Anya looked down at the girl and saw Lexa watching them a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

The girl sat up on the bed rubbing at her eyes blearily and met Anya’s steely gaze unfazed “It is too early” she complained a pout forming on her lips.

“Stand up!” Anya commanded again her voice even sharper “I will not repeat myself”.

“We will be leaving soon” Lexa informed their charge clasping on her shoulder pauldron.

“Or you will stay here” the general threatened.

Lexa watched Marie’s reaction with a frown. The girl practically jumped from the bed at the threat her expression clearly showing that she believed the threat without doubt.

Marie quickly put on her warmer clothes struggling to get everything fastened the correct way in her haste and she kept on shooting glances at Anya as if checking that the general had not suddenly decided that she had taken long enough and would truly be left behind. Internally Marie was wondering if Anya would really leave her in TonDC. Would Lexa even allow that? But as she did not want to find out the answer to the questions she tried to get ready as fast as possible.

When they stepped out of their tent the camp was already filled with activity although it was still mostly dark. Marie immediately slung her arms around her body at the sudden crisp cold air.

Frost had arrived in the night and the grass crunched slightly under their boots and Marie was fascinated to see her breath come out as condensed white puffs.

Risha had followed Marie out of the tent and the cub was looking at the thin layer of ice covering the grass with what appeared to be a frown licking at her paws after she had taken a few steps out of the tent.

Marie let out a laugh at the sight and quickly picked Risha up from the cold ground settling the cub into her arms “What is that?” the girl asked looking down at the grass.

“Frost” Anya simply answered and looked up at the sky with a slight worried expression “The cold season seems to start sooner than expected”.

The commander and her general shared a silent glance and both knew that they needed to reach Polis as soon as possible. The cold season was sometimes hard to predict and the first nights of frost could already bring snow which would make travelling the distance more dangerous.

The general ushered their charge in the direction of the communal fire pit, other warriors would dismantle their tent for them. The fire pit in TonDC was always kept aflame even through the night and other warriors who would travel with them and had their seconds take down their tents for them were also already there to have a quick breakfast.

The commander remained in the middle of the camp watching as Clarke came from the tent she had spent the night in being called out by Ryder who was assigned to take it down. Lexa noted how exhausted the blonde woman looked, dark circles had formed under her eyes indicating that she must suffer from severe nightmares as well keeping her awake.

She stopped one of the older seconds with the order to ask around if there were warmer clothes they could spar, Clarke’s clothing would not do to ward of the sudden cold and they would be travelling all day, maybe even well into the night. She somehow doubted that Clarke would take the clothes if she herself were to offer them, it had not gone unnoticed by the commander how the blonde seemed to stiffen every time their eyes met and she was careful to keep her distance. She viewed as some sort of progress that Clarke had preferred to accompany them to Polis in the first place and she would go from there.

Anya brought back a plate for Lexa with some breakfast while Marie carried her cub again. Most of the tents were already taken down and packed away ready to leave and the boy who helped at the stables in TonDC was going around bringing various horses to their rightful owners.

Lexa’s and Anya’s horses were the last ones the boy brought from the stables but he was unable to actually lead the commander’s horse by the reigns as the mount had tried to bite his fingers when he wanted to grab them, fortunately the black steed followed him on her own account.

Both horses actually seemed more eager to greet their second then to acknowledge the commander and the general themselves. Anya’s horse was obviously slightly put off by Risha in Marie’s arms but its desire to be petted as well seemed to outweigh its distrust of the wolf cub.

Anya looked slightly affronted to be ignored by her horse while Lexa just accepted the plate from her former mentor with a curt nod simply watching their charge interact with the animals.

At least Anya’s horse seemed to grudgingly accept Risha’s presence meaning the girl could share the mount with the general for the day and Lexa could ride on her own again.

The warriors had finished getting ready to leave in no time at all. Clarke had accepted the warmer clothes with a surprised warm thank you recognizing that the temperature had dropped a few notches overnight.

Lexa smirked as her own steed seemed to look almost jealously how Anya boosted Marie up into the saddle on her own brown horse. The commander mounted her own steed in one fluid motion and called the group to start moving. Indra together with Octavia, Lincoln and a few other inhabitants of TonDC watched them leave and Lexa nodded to the village chief before she steered her horse to lead the way.

Marie burrowed as close as possible against Anya’s chest feeling the biting chill of the cold air unpleasantly. After some time the girl asked lowly, too low for Lexa or Gustus who were riding next to them to hear “Would you have really left me in TonDC?” The girl’s voice was laced with insecurities and Anya narrowed her eyes at her charge.

“What do you think?” the general retorted critically. 

When Marie remained silent for long moments obviously thinking Anya huffed feeling slightly affronted “Of course not, Marie” she tightened her arms around her smaller body in silent reassurance. She mused internally why the girl still obviously had doubts about her place with them if a simple teasing remark had such an impact on her.

Marie relaxed again against Anya exhaling a long breath she had not been aware of holding in the first place feeling rather stupid for believing that the woman would have left her in TonDC. The girl thought about apologizing to Anya but she feared she would only deepen the personal insult if she did, so she remained silent.

Lexa and she would need to think about ways together how to erase the girl’s doubts once and for all. She hoped that Marie would settle more firmly again once they had reached Polis and the girl would have a daily routine again.

Anya remembered that Lexa still needed to tell Titus that she expected the flamekeeper to teach Marie certain aspects of the flame and she still hoped to be present when the news hit him.

But what really awaited them in Polis was unclear. Titus reports ordering Lexa to return to the capitol as soon as possible had stopped a few days ago and none of them were sure what to make of that. Lexa now had proof enough to call Nia in front of all the ambassadors to bring charges against the Ice queen for breaking her direct orders in not reporting the Skykru station in her land. It was unclear how the other clans would react to Nia breaking coalition laws. If the ice queen had already bribed other clans to side with her the outcome could be disastrous but Anya knew that Lexa had to take the risk to seize the chance to finally get rid of Nia. The Ice Nation would always remain an unaccountable danger under her reign.


	95. Chapter 95

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 94  
> They stay a day in TonDC where Gustus watches Marie in comparison to one of the children born on the ground. Clarke helps Nyko taking care of wounded hunters and Anya tries to teach her how to ride a horse. Marie is starting to test her boundaries with Lexa and Anya but it is clear she is still insecure about her place. They start their journey to Polis.

Chapter 95

The journey to Polis was cold and long.

Lexa had to stop them a few times when the uneven terrain made it impossible to have a clear view of their surroundings and scouts were sent ahead to secure their path.

Marie’s legs had started to feel really uncomfortable after they had made a short break around midday to allow the horses a few minutes of rest letting them drink water from a stream. To make matters worse it had started to rain not strongly but the continuous cold drops felt like ice on Marie’s face.

Feeling Marie starting to squirm on the saddle in front of her trying to get away from the rain Anya opened her own coat enveloping the girl with it as well and pulling her even closer into her body. The girl relaxed again feeling warmer after a few moments already but her voice mirrored her mood perfectly “My legs feel funny”.

Anya snorted under breath “We will take several more hours to reach Polis”.

Marie groaned at the information still having no feeling for distances and how long the travel would take. The girl closed her eyes letting her head rest back against Anya’s firm chest and she felt asleep only a few moments later.

She was jostled awake an undefined time later when the horse underneath her suddenly increased its pace at Anya’s urging. Marie blinked her eyes her body tensing at the unexpected pace.

“What is wrong?” the girl asked lowly her voice tinged with worry. Darkness was falling around them the sun already setting.

“Nothing” Anya reassured their charge keeping a firm hold on the girl’s body. The commander urged the whole group into a faster pace pushing them to reach Polis before the middle of the night.

Marie had difficulties to recognizes anything from their surroundings in the almost darkness and with the speed it was flowing around them. The rain had gotten harder as well and Marie was internally grateful for Anya’s cloak which proofed to be at least partially waterproof.

She barely registered that they were indeed approaching Polis, her legs felt nearly numb and she hoped someone would help her from the horse when they finally stopped or she feared she would fall down face first as she doubted her legs would be able to hold up her own weight. Risha was thankfully quiet in the shawl wrapped around her own chest.

The gates to the city were already opened for them, the scouts that had preceded them had of course already notified the commander’s impending arrival.

Marie straightened up in front of Anya when she recognized the walls surrounding Polis and Lexa rode ahead of the group.

The streets were mostly empty at this time of the day almost night now, safe for the guards scattered around the streets going about their duty, they all bowed to the commander and whispers of “Wanheda” started to go around them soon.

Clarke seemed to shrink on her horse but she was slightly surprised to see the honest relieve and camaraderie in the warriors’ eyes when they bowed to Lexa. It was clear as day that these people served their commander because they wanted to and all of them would probably die for her without batting an eye.

A small child which had stood behind the legs of one of the warriors stepped slightly in front of the commander’s black steed offering a toothy smile and a single flower in its little fist. The flower had obviously been held in the tight little fist for some time as the petals were already crumbled up.

Lexa stopped her horse abruptly as to not injure the child which she guessed to be around five years old. It was a little boy with brown curls and his brown eyes looked exactly like those of the warrior who had tried in vain to restrain the child at the side of the street.

Clarke watched with a furrowed brow how Lexa stopped the warrior who was probably the little boy’s father from pulling him back from the streets, instead the commander bent down on her horse accepting the crumbled flower from the boy and squeezing his shoulder once gently which brought on a blinding smile on the boy’s round features and the kid excitedly returned into the waiting arms of his father waving to his commander as Lexa steered her horse on nodding once to the warrior. She would not have expected Lexa to react in such a way to such an innocent gesture but she could see the commander how she fastened the crumbled flower to a buckle over chest as if displaying a medal of great honour. She was too far away from the commander to be able to see the other woman’s features clearly but she was pretty sure she had seen a smile on her face when she fastened the flower to her cloak.

Marie smiled when she saw that they neared the tower finally, she hoped Anya would let her get to bed straight away.

Her smile fell considerably when she recognized Titus already waiting for Lexa’s arrival at the base of the tower flanked by guards and Alira.

Lexa dismounted first in one fluid motion handing the reigns off her mount over to the warrior leading the stables, one of the few people who were actually able to handle her horse, after she clapped her mount on her neck in thanks a few times.

The commander first addressed Alira nodding to the woman “I need you to prepare quarters for Clarke from Skykru” she ordered. The older woman nodded immediately smiling with relieve in her eyes at seeing Lexa returned healthily to Polis and left to carry out her orders.

Marie was grateful when Anya swung down from the horse behind her and then helped her down steadying her on her wobbly legs. She could see how Ryder offered the same service to Clarke who did not seem to fare any better.

Lexa stood facing Titus both meeting each other’s gazes intently in silence in what looked to be a staring contest. Titus was the one who sort of broke the eye contact “ _Heda, we need to meet urgently”._

The commander nodded wordlessly pointing him with a hand to proceed her inside the tower. Lexa nodded to Anya and shortly glanced at Clarke. She met her blue eyes momentarily before she abruptly turned around and vanished into the tower.

A handmaid which had been sent down by Alira addressed Clarke in heavily accented English asking her to follow her to her quarters.

Anya ushered Marie to follow behind Lexa just as Risha peeked her muzzle out of the shawl sniffing the unfamiliar smells of the new surroundings with interest.

Titus narrowed his dark eyes at the cub “This thing will not reside inside the tower” the flamekeeper seethed.

The general just met his glare with bored eyes while Marie looked up at Anya her grey eyes widened in fright. Anya gave Marie a gentle push in the direction of the entrance to the tower ignoring Titus’ comment all together, which she knew would only serve to enrage the bald man even more.

They shared the ride in the elevator up to the top floor with Titus who continuously glared at Marie and her cub prompting the girl to look anywhere but in his direction.

To Marie’s great displeasure Anya guided her past the door to the quarters they shared and into the commander’s quarters.

Lexa was speaking with Alira when they entered “…and I want guards posted at her quarters at all times. She can leave the tower as she pleases but at least two guards are to accompany her at all times” the commander was briefing the lead handmaid in regards to Clarke’s status as her personal guest in the tower.

A fire was blazing in the fireplace and had thankfully already warmed the room to an agreeable temperature. Risha was now urgently squirming in the restraining shawl wanting to be set down again.

“You can let her down, Marie” Lexa shortly turned to the girl having caught them entering from the corner of her eye and then dismissed Alira.

“Help yourselves” Lexa added pointing to the table which was laden with steaming cups with strong tea and some plates with a small variety of different foods. She got rid of the heavy shoulder pauldron, red sash and the cloak setting the items neatly on a free stool while Anya quickly helped their charge with unwinding the shawl around her upper body.

Risha immediately started exploring the commander’s quarters as her paws touched the floor again and Marie openly laughed at the sight of the curious cub.

Titus who had already looked rather irritated at the sole presence of Anya and Marie now looked outright sour, but the flamekeeper knew better than to speak up fully aware that doing so would only incense Lexa.

But when the cub waddled into his direction the bald man immediately took a step backwards as if coming into contact with the animal would taint him in some way.

Marie frowned at the man’s reaction and sat down on one of the couches unclasping her own coat and calling Risha over offering the cub a piece of cold meat.

“So report what has occurred in my absence” Lexa commanded sitting down on an armchair.

Titus folded his hands behind himself and started his report.

Marie barely listened not really interested in the politics. All that registered in her mind was that Roan had asked again to speak with Lexa, that several clans had claimed to have found Ice Nation soldiers scouting their land and that the Desert and the Rock Line Clan were fighting about something. The tiredness from the long journey caught up with her suddenly and Marie fell asleep while Titus was still conducting his report.

The flamekeeper narrowed his eyes into a full glare at the obvious display of weakness while Lexa had quickly risen from her seat and caught the girl’s cup slipping from her fingers before it could fall to the floor. It was obvious the bald man was expecting her to shake the girl awake but Lexa only grabbed a thin blanket from the foot of the couch covering Marie with it and letting her sleep.

Lexa had listened intently to her former teacher’s report “So the leader of Rock Line Clan accused the Desert people to have robbed a huge caravan of vendors?”

Titus nodded hands still clasped behind his back as he had remained standing.

The commander narrowed her green eyes “And you were not able to appease them?” her voice was sharp. She had learned a lot of her diplomacy from the man and she knew he should have been able to handle such a simple transgression.

The bald man seemed to bristle at the question meeting her gaze with hard eyes “I don’t think that is their real reason for the unrest. But I have been unable to locate the actual problem”.

Lexa sighed “Have both ambassadors meet me tomorrow morning and have Roan summoned to the throne room afterwards”.

The bald man nodded although he would have preferred Lexa not granting a second audition to prince Roan but it was clear the young woman had made up her mind on the matter.

“Is that all?” Lexa questioned taking a huge sip from the tea which had started to turn cold.

“No” the man shook his head “Word has spread amongst Polis of the final destruction of the Mountain, the people are most pleased. And another nightblood has been brought to Polis.”

Lexa raised her brow looking up at the man to continue “From which clan?”

“Boat people” Titus’ voice had taken on an angry quality “Luna has hidden a nightblood son”.

Lexa closed her eyes for a moment exhaling loudly. She felt a flash of sympathy for her former companion.

“A flamekeeper traveling through the clans had heard rumours and tested the boy” Titus added “Luna did not let him go willingly, you should still call her to Polis to …”

“No” Lexa simply interrupted unwilling to hear his advice in the matter “How old is he?”

“Five summers” Titus said “He has not settled in yet. He tries to get away at any chance”.

The commander nodded “I will see the nightbloods later tomorrow. Have their afternoon cleared”.

She remembered how Luna had cautioned her at the festival a few weeks back to be careful in regard to Marie and the words rang loudly in her ears.

Titus dismissed himself a few moments later when it was clear that there was nothing urgent left to discuss for the night.

Anya stretched her legs out once Titus had left the commander’s quarters “The unrest between the clans sounds suspiciously like Nia could have her fingers in there”.

Lexa nodded with a thoughtful expression, she had already had the same foreboding feeling. She knew that Nia would be desperate at the moment to find anything to tear the coalition apart.

“I would have assumed Luna would know better than to hide a nightblood” Anya commented after a few moments of silence.

Lexa inclined her head looking at her former mentor with a heavy expression “It is rather that she knows what awaits him that I can understand her attempt to hide his existence.”

Anya frowned but Lexa added “Would you want Marie to train for the conclave?”

The general’s frown deepened and her lips pressed into a harsh line when she shook her head in the negative.

Lexa sighed again but met Anya’s stare with a knowing look on her face, when she jawed slightly Anya stood up and carefully scooped the sleeping girl up into her arms.

“Rest well, commander” the general bid Lexa goodbye with a smirk on her face.

Risha’s ears perked up at the sound of the opening door and quickly followed Anya carrying Marie down the corridor. The girl started to wake in Anya’s arms and when she looked around disoriented Anya just hushed her directly putting her down into the girl’s own bed.

Only an hour later Anya regretted the decision to lay Marie into her own bed when the girl started to scream loudly being caught up in a nightmare.

The general stumbled out of her own bed her legs tangled up in the furs and hurried over the few strides to Marie’s bed gently shaking the girl to rouse her.

When Marie’s grey eyes shot open they were wide and filled with tears her breathing erratic.

“Ssshh” Anya tried to sooth the girl enveloping her smaller body into a tight hug and gently stroking her hair in a soothing motion.

She lifted the girl from her bed and carried her over to her own bigger bed laying back down the girl snuggled to her chest feeling her tears dampening her shirt.

“Is Lexa alright?” the girl after a few moments when her tears had finally stopped.

“Of course” Anya reassured the girl immediately having no reason to doubt that.

Marie nodded and swallowed heavily before she burrowed deeper against Anya’s chest.

Anya felt asleep long before Marie being exhausted from the travel. Marie laid awake listening to Anya’s strong heartbeat trying to will herself to fall back asleep.

When it had not worked for what felt for Marie like an eternity later the girl cautiously stood up again. Barefoot Marie silently padded to the door looking over her shoulder and finding Anya still deeply asleep.

She had no idea why, but in the moment Marie desperately wanted to see Lexa. She did not remember exactly what her nightmare had been about, all she could remember vividly was a lot of black blood.

Careful not to make too much noise Marie opened the door and slipped out into the hall closing the door behind her just as carefully.

The girl frowned slightly that no guards were standing post in front of their quarters but she could see two guards stationed in front of Lexa’s quarters.

She did not know them personally but they seemed to know who she was as they opened the door to the commander’s quarters for her without question.

Lexa had immediately sat up in the bed a dagger already in her hand at the sound of the door opening.

Marie could see her green eyes searching her intently as she put down the dagger in the flickering light of the few remaining candles and the fire place.

“Is something wrong?” Lexa inquired worry obvious on her face as she slid from the bed coming up to Marie on bare feet. 

The girl quickly shook her head feeling slightly stupid that she had intruded into Lexa’s quarters at all. She looked at the floor not meeting Lexa’s eyes unsurely.

“What troubles you?” Lexa asked again gently guiding Marie’s chin up to meet her gaze.

Marie looked at the woman’s face and noted guiltily how tired she seemed to be “I am sorry that I woke you…” she tried to apologize.

Lexa shook her head stopping the girl’s apology “You can always seek me out, no matter the time or the reason” she reassured her voice grave and honest.

She guided the girl over to her bed deciding that the girl could simply sleep here, but she was still determined to find out the reason why she suddenly appeared here and she doubted that Anya was aware that Marie had left their quarters.

Marie willingly slipped between the furs next to Lexa immediately snuggling up to her.

“And now you can tell me, why you are here” Lexa implored again her tone firm.

Marie bit her lip a moment before she said “It’s stupid really…”

“I still want to know” was Lexa’s serious reply keeping a close watch of the girl’s face.

“I had a nightmare” Marie said which did not surprise the commander at all as she could still spot tear tracks on the girl’s cheeks.

“And I can’t remember about what” Marie continued tightening her arms around Lexa’s chest “But there was so much black blood … Anya said you were fine, but I needed to …”

Lexa smiled down reassuringly at the girl gently pushing a stray strand of hair from her face “As you can see, I am alright. It was only a dream, Marie”.

Although Lexa internally thought it could quickly turn into the truth. The life of a leader was never a save one and the reign usually ended only with a mostly abrupt death.

“But you can stay here for now” Lexa added squeezing the girl’s shoulders and closing her eyes by thus efficiently ending the conversation for now. It worried her slightly that Marie truly had felt the need to physically see her.

She would not really have a problem to share her quarters with Anya and Marie for the time until Marie finally settled down again and her nightmares would cease but she doubted that her general would really like that idea.

But if there would be repetitions of tonight they would have to think of a solution until Marie felt better and somehow Lexa had the feeling that there would be repetitions. The girl had always slept best if all three of them had shared the furs together in a tent.

In the morning even before dawn Anya suddenly burst into the room waking Lexa in the process. The expression on her face indicated just how much of a fright she had been in at finding Marie gone. The guards in front of Lexa’s quarters had changed through the night and had thus not known where the girl could be.


	96. Chapter 96

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 95
> 
> The group finishes the travel back to Polis. Titus makes his report to Lexa. A new nightblood has been brought to Polis and Marie frightens Anya by leaving their quarters to go to Lexa in the middle of the night.

Chapter 96

The first thing Marie did when she woke up to Anya and Lexa talking to each other was quickly slipping from the furs and padding to the balcony door with bare feet taking a quick peek outside.

Anya watched with a furrowed brow how their charge disappeared on the balcony only dressed in the thin oversized shirt she wore for sleeping. A moment later Marie reappeared in the room her shoulders hung slightly in obvious disappointment and she was hoping from feet to feet probably from the cold floor.

Before she could ask Marie already said dejectedly "There is still no snow" the pout on her lips obvious and her eyes glared slightly accusingly at Anya "You said there would be snow after frost". She completed her antics by crossing her arms over her chest petulantly.

Anya could only blink at their charge startled by the silent accusation that the weather was somehow her fault and thus the lack of snow.

Lexa could not contain a light laugh at the girl's behaviour and shook her head with gentleness in her green eyes "As powerful as you may think Anya is, she is not able to influence or foresee the weather, Marie, not even for you". She playfully ruffled the girl's hairs "It may take several weeks for the first snow to fall or it could come any day now" she explained "There is still hot water in the tube left for a bath for you".

Marie's pout was replaced by a smile at the mention of the bath and she immediately skidded into the bathroom vanishing behind the door in a blur. The sound of sloshing water only a few moments later a clear indicator that the girl had already gotten into the water.

The commander carefully combed through her own hair which was still lose and damp from her own bath when she asked her former mentor in a thoughtful tone "Have I ever accused you of influencing the weather?"

Anya snorted grabbing a piece of bread "You have, if I think of it".

Lexa raised her brow at the general not remembering this episode at all.

"You accused me of letting it rain none stop on the first longer scouting mission we did" Anya remembered with fondness in her brown eyes "You said that I would let it rain just to spite you".

Lexa grimaced slightly when the memory did come back to her but a smile tugged at Anya's lips so she refrained from commenting.

Alira knocked at the door coming in to braid Lexa's hair for her. The handmaid had taken Risha down to the kitchens with her when she had asked about breakfast and other handmaidens had prepared the bath.

The older woman smiled slightly at the cub now following on her heels "All the kitchen stuff is already enamoured by the cub" she recounted "And the guards have been informed to spread word that the cub is to remain unharmed. If it wins over the citizens of Polis as quickly it will be the most spoilt wolf ever".

"I have no doubt there" Lexa commented drily while Anya huffed already picturing that to be exactly what would happen if the people of TonDC were any indication.

Alira was still occupied with plaiting Lexa's wild hair into its usual braids when Marie came out of the bathroom a towel wrapped firmly around her body.

"I don't have fresh clothes" the girl commented keeping the towel firmly around her body for warmth. The fire had been stocked again and was blazing in the fire place but the temperature had still dropped several degrees in the room overnight.

"You should have checked that before jumping into the bath" Anya remarked in a reprimanding tone but she nevertheless got up from her seat to fetch Marie some clothes from their room.

The girl looked abashed at the reprimand and nodded with a crestfallen expression. Risha enthusiastically padded over to her human welcoming her for the day and efficiently brought a light smile back onto the girl's face and giggling out of her mouth.

"Can I have something to feed her?" Marie asked after petting the cub for some moments.

"She is already fed" Alira informed the girl with a friendly smile. With a twinkle in her eyes she added "Your little friend has won over the kitchen staff immediately".

"Oh" Marie commented with a light frown obviously not sure what to make of that news but she remembered to thank the handmaiden for taking care of the cub a moment later. Anya had made it clear that taking care of the cub's needs was her task alone if she truly wanted to keep it. But she guessed that her mentor would not blame her to neglect has task as Alira had already taken Risha with her when she was still asleep.

Anya returned a few moments later with a pile of fresh clothes for Marie. The outfit was completely new and Marie had not seen any of the items before.

The trousers were pretty tight against her skin and seemed to consist of some kind of leather. A lose dark long sleeved shirt went underneath some binders for her forearms. Anya had to help her in fastening them on correctly. She also now had a thick belt around her waist but she was confused to find a red piece of cloth included in the pile.

Marie held up the red piece of fabric with a questioning look "Where does that belong?" She wondered internally why it resembled Lexa's red sash so strongly.

Alira had finished with Lexa's hair and the commander took the piece of cloth from her. Now that Lexa held the red fabric it was obvious it looked exactly like her red sash and Marie frowned.

"You are officially my second and you will be noticeable as that as well" Lexa explained taking on the confusion on the girl's face. She unfastened the belt around the girl's waist again and knotted the piece to her belt before bringing it around her waist again. "We will see where it suits you best" Lexa commented not yet quiet satisfied with the placement. She knew that giving Marie a red sash completely identical to her own would be impractical to the girl's movements and would probably not go over to well with Titus.

Lexa stepped back from Marie to look at her from a longer distance and she shook her head finding the placement of the red cloth completely unsuitable. The girl's long blonde hair was still lose as well and an idea struck the commander.

"Sit down" she directed Marie to a stool and took of her belt again. With the help of a dagger Lexa made thinner pieces out of the red piece of fabric. With practised fingers Lexa quickly plaited the girl's hair into a series of braids and in a few she included a thin band of the red fabric.

Finished with the design she took a step back and nodded approvingly. The red bands contrasted starkly with her light gold hair and stood out strongly, it stood out much stronger than worn on her belt now. Part of the girl's long hair was still lose and some ends of the red bands were mixed into it almost giving the illusion of red blood mixed into her blonde hair.

Alira and Anya had watched Lexa working on the girl's hair and the handmaiden nodded "I doubt she will be able to do that herself anytime soon, but it certainly suits her".

"It will certainly mark her as your second without any doubt" Anya commented with a slight grimace on her face. She was practical in that regard and knew that this hair style would be noticeable even from a great distance, but on the other hand her light blonde hair already did that on its own.

Lexa had already asked for her personal blacksmith to be sent to her later that day. She wanted short swords specifically crafted for Marie together with a second dagger to go with the one she had gifted the girl with a few weeks back. And she would also speak to a wood craftsman to see about a bow made for her size.

She had also planned to finally tell Titus that she expected the man to teach their second about the flame. The way her nightblood children had openly accepted Marie amongst them reassured her that whoever of them would one day succeed her could keep Marie in her current position. She highly doubted that the flamekeeper would be pleased with her orders but she would not give him a choice in that matter.

Said man entered the room not a moment later and remained frozen in his step at the sight of Marie his dark eyes blazed over angrily but Lexa just looked at her former teacher challengingly.

Titus was grinding his teeth together in silent anger but the man seemed to swallow down whatever retort he had come up with before he straightened his face once again mostly impassive "The ambassadors are waiting for you" he proclaimed.

Lexa nodded that she understood but she halted Titus in his retreat with a simple gesture of her hand "I want you to teach Marie the duties of a flamekeeper in the future" she stated bluntly her tone leaving no room for discussion as she fastened the shoulder pauldron to her body and adjusted the red sash flowing from her left shoulder.

The man blinked a few times at her obviously stunned silent for probably the first time in his life, at least the first time Lexa could remember seeing the man truly speechless. But the angry reaction she had anticipated did not take long to appear on his features.

Anya looked suspiciously gleeful to watch the bald flamekeeper this flustered.

Titus had a vein angrily popping on his forehead and he was opening and closing his fists at his side grinding his teeth so strongly together that Lexa feared he might actually break a tooth. His voice was seething and the emotion in it raw and uncontrolled and his dark eyes blazing as he finally found his words back "Surely you can't mean that seriously, commander?!"

The general openly smirked at the man while Marie seemed to be at least slightly affronted at the openly hostile reaction from the flamekeeper.

"Oh, but of course, I am" Lexa answered in a purposefully bored tone which left Titus gaping at her in silent aggravation.

"I … I …" he pressed out through clenched teeth "She is not even born on the ground!" he finally snapped his voice heated.

"So?" the commander asked back with a slightly tilted head her green eyes hard.

"You refused every second from every clan thus far" Titus reminded her loudly "Appointing her is already creating favouritism and making her a flamekeeper is totally unacceptable!"

"So you refuse?" Lexa countered her voice deadly serious and her eyes daring. She knew she was towing a dangerous terrain right now with her former teacher, but she was well aware that there were other flamekeepers who would be able to teach Marie.

When the man opened his mouth again to retort something Lexa cut in stepping closer to the bald man staring him down even though she was physically smaller than him "If you want to defy me on this, I am sure another flamekeeper can take up your place". Her voice and hard eyes indicated clearly that she was deadly serious on this matter and had already made up her mind.

Lexa was aware that replacing Titus would not necessarily bring something good for her. The man had already served four other commanders before her and loyalties for him were by thus very deep. She did not doubt that the man would have enough power to cause her trouble if he wished so. If he would truly refuse here she would not have another choice than to either kill him for his open defiance or at least banish him from her lands.

Marie watched the exchange with a furrowed brow worry clear in her grey eyes and Anya's hard expression indicated to her that the situation was very serious. She internally debated if she should just offer to Lexa not to learn to be a flamekeeper, but she doubted her input would be appreciated at the moment. It was clear that the exchange between the commander and her flamekeeper was some sort of struggle for dominance and interfering would probably just serve to make Lexa mad at her in addition to Titus who quiet obviously already hated her for some reason.

Titus snapped his mouth shut with an audible click meeting Lexa's stony gaze for a moment before he sighed what sounded dejectedly to Marie and after another moment he nodded to Lexa "It will happen as you wish, commander". His voice had been heavy still and it was clear he was anything than happy with his orders but Lexa knew she could trust him to follow them.

Lexa's whole pose seemed to relax minutely and she nodded in silent acceptance keeping her chin slightly higher and jutted out.

She indicated to Titus that she would come to meet with the ambassadors in a moment and the man left without another word.

Lexa let out a long heavy breath, she had not liked that she needed to threaten Titus to get him to comply with her orders. It did not bode well with her that her previous teacher still seemed to think that it was him who had more power in certain aspects.

Alira silently cleared away the dishes from breakfast but the worry in her eyes was easy to spot. The handmaiden remained silent choosing not to comment on what had just transpired.

Once the older woman had left the room a moment later Marie spoke up hesitantly "I don't need to learn that if it causes so much trouble…"

Her body language clearly conveyed how uncomfortable the whole exchange had made the girl and she already doubted that having lessons with Titus would really go over well for her. Silently she already dreaded to have to be alone with the man in the future. He could easily push her out of a window or something and make it look like an accident if he wanted, couldn't he?

"That is not for you to decide" Lexa commented her voice sharper than usual and Marie flinched slightly at the tone. The girl nodded with a dejected expression but Lexa did not say anything further on the matter which she regarded closed for now. She wanted Marie to receive this tutelage, so the girl would.

Anya also looked rather unpleased at Marie's words and the girl seemed to shrink even more under her piercing glare. She knew that the girl had probably meant well with the offer.

The general indicated Marie with a silent gesture to follow Lexa out of the room and they together went to the throne room in tense silence.

The throne room was mostly empty safe for a few guars posted around the room, two ambassadors and Titus who already stood next to Lexa's throne.

The two ambassadors immediately stood up from their seats when the commander entered and greeted her respectfully with her title.

Lexa noted at once that the woman representing the Rock Line Clan looked slightly nervous under her piercing glare.

"I have been told that a caravan of your Clan did not reach the Boat people but was robbed in land of the Desert Clan" Lexa directly opened the meeting sitting down on her throne.

The woman nodded immediately her grey bright eyes standing out starkly against her strongly tanned skin "We had been promised salted fish from the Boat People in exchange. But now we have lost both, our wares and what we were promised."

The dark skinned man from the Desert Clan did not look impressed "You have no proof that your supposed caravan was not robbed by rouge bandits in the dead zone".

"How much has your clan lost?" the commander inquired looking completely at ease on her throne.

The woman listed up quickly what had been on the caravan. Lexa narrowed her eyes slightly when the list also contained wares that were not produced in their land.

"… we demand retribution" the woman ended heatedly glaring at the other ambassador.

Lexa looked down at them from her throne in a placating way as if she was overseeing squabbling children.

"I am sure we can find an agreement satisfying both of your clans" she remarked once the woman had finished her rant.

Marie barely listened to the discussion that followed. Her thought still circled around Titus and what learning to become a flamekeeper could entail. She had seen that Titus was teaching the nightblood children but she doubted that they would expect her to do that as well. Other than that she had just seen him as a sort of advisor to Lexa and handling minor things around Polis, but Lexa had told her previously that she would not become a real flamekeeper but just needed to know certain aspects of it. So the question remained rather loudly in her mind what a flamekeeper actually was at all. But it had to be something really important for Titus to be this against her learning.

She was startled out of her thoughts when the ambassadors bowed their farewell to Lexa and the huge doors were opened for their retreat.

Titus also left and Marie heard that he would be teaching the conclave now and later bring them to Lexa as well.

"You should have listened" Anya reprimanded her eyes sharp when she caught Marie's reaction to their leave, indicating the girl had been lost in her own thoughts for some time now.

Marie let her shoulders drop even more and nodded with a crestfallen expression.

The doors were opened again only a moment later and Roan entered the throne room. The man had been accompanied by two guards who remained standing just outside the door.


	97. Chapter 97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 96  
> Marie gets a new hair design bringing her position out more strongly. Lexa orders Titus to teach her the duties of a flamekeeper and she hears the complaints of the Rock Line Clan.

Chapter 97

Marie smiled thinly at Roan when she finally looked up at hearing his voice. Although Lexa and Anya both had been furious with her for trusting him so blindly she still felt that she could trust him.

“What brings you to me now?” Lexa questioned the prince of the Ice Nation.

“Word from my mother has reached me” he simply answered back his bright eyes staring back at her unwaveringly.

Lexa raised a questioning brow at the man for him to continue.

“It seems Ontari is already somewhere in Polis” Roan added after a moment of silence his expression composed.

Anya and Lexa bandied worried looks momentarily. If Nia had really already moved her own nightblood into Polis she would have an immediate plan in action to remove Lexa and the whole conclave.

“For what purpose?” Lexa clarified although the reason was rather apparent without confirmation.

Roan raised a dubious brow at her “To kill the conclave” was his blunt answer a few moments later.

Marie sucked in a harsh breath shocked surprise showing on her features.

“The informant said that the guards on their floor have already been bought by my mother” Roan added in an informative tone.

Anya looked at the man as if he was joking. She had spoken with all the guards posted on the upper floors of the tower herself and all of them had seemed completely loyal and trustworthy to her.

“No need to look so surprised” Roan commented nonchalantly “If you make a high enough offer everyone is corrupt. But I highly doubt they would receive anything else than their own death in exchange.”

“Have the guards exchanged immediately and raise up the number of them with more frequent rotations” Lexa barked at Anya worried that the conclave might truly be in danger. If the Ice Nation nightblood was truly in Polis already undetected than their plan could go into motion at any moment.

The general nodded already striding out of the room. Marie looked undecided if to stay or follow behind Anya so Lexa motioned for the girl to stay in her place.

“So you believe me now?” the prince wanted to know from the commander.

“It does not matter if I believe your word or not” Lexa commented simply remaining vague in her response on purpose.

“Have you been in contact with Ontari?” the commander questioned next her eyes boring into Roan’s intently.

The prince shook his head “No, I have seen her last before my banishment” his displeasure shown through strongly at the word “banishment”.

“I do not know how they plan to eliminate you” Roan added “I doubt they would risk openly challenging you to a duel.

“I have already ordered for messengers to be sent to Nia to summon her in front of the ambassadors to answer for her crimes against Skykru and defying coalition law” Lexa said after nodding. Challenging her to a duel to death would be the most honourable way to go about removing her from power but Nia had never been known to play honourably.

Roan looked confused at the news and Lexa concluded that the prince had been unaware of Skykru landing in his mother’s lands.

“How does Ontari look like?” the commander continued to question. She needed as much information as possible to brief the guards on what to look for.

“The last time I saw her was over three years ago” Roan answered critically “She was relatively small for her age, I doubt she will have grown to be overly tall. She should be around 15 summers now. Dark brown hair, dark eyes, Ice Nation scars on her face”.

Lexa nodded although she was not pleased with the lack of specific information. Except for the scarring on the girl’s face there would be nothing to clearly identify her.

Before Roan left he added “And I have heard rumours that my mother contemplates conquering Skykru”.

Marie looked over worriedly at Lexa an image of Maura flashing up in her mind.

The commander nodded again and called for the guards to escort prince Roan back to his room. The man did not seem surprised at all to be thrown out like that and went with the men willingly.

Lexa remained sitting on her thrown with a contemplative expression Marie fidgeting beside her pulled her out of her thoughts and she put a forced smile on her face momentarily to calm the obviously deeply worried girl slightly.

Anya returned a few moments later the doors rattling closed behind her with unnecessary force. Marie jumped slightly at the unexpected loud noise next to Lexa and noted worriedly that Anya’s hands were bruised and bloodied.

Lexa sighed deeply tightening her jaw angrily fully aware what Anya must have found.

“Guards are to patrol the streets looking for the Ice Nation nightblood” Lexa ordered after a few moments of silence. There was no need for the general to state out loud that Roan’s accusations had been true.

Titus entered the room a few moments later furrowing his brow at Anya’s state. The bald man had been outside of the tower with the nightblood children and had not yet been made aware of the guard change for the conclave.

“The guards for the conclave had been compromised” Lexa simply told him her expression void of emotion although the tone of her voice made it clear how angry she really felt.

 The flamekeeper looked taken aback at the news but he nodded knowing full well that the commander would have already cleared the situation accordingly.

His dark eyes wandered over to Marie minutely before he said “I can begin teaching her now”.

Marie looked slightly alarmed at the sudden offer still totally uncomfortable with the idea of being alone with the man.

The commander nodded “Have all the ambassadors gathered within the hour” was her order before she strode from the room in order to meet her blacksmith.

Anya shortly glanced at Marie and nodded at the girl before she left as well to organize the search of the streets. The general highly doubted that they would be successful in locating the unknown nightblood. Nia would not be dumb enough to send her here alone if she had any doubt she could remain undetected.

“Follow me” Titus commanded in a cold voice and Marie immediately hurried to obediently follow the man out of the throne room.

She had no idea where he wanted to go with her and her heart beat quickly in her chest when they rode the elevator down into the cellar of the tower. Titus did not say a single further word to Marie the whole way and the girl could not help fidgeting nervously.

For a short moment Marie had the irrational fear that the flamekeeper would just put her in a cell in the dungeons and make up a purposed crime to justify her imprisonment.

She breathed slightly easier when they did not go in the direction of the dungeons and their steps echoed loudly from a corridor to the other side of the cellar. Just a few torches hung from the walls barely enough to illuminate the long hall basking it in ghostly flickering shadows.

Marie looked surprised when they stopped in front of a heavy door. The doors material was covered in what looked to be a series of runes or some other symbols.

Two men stood guard in front of the door and she recognized that the clothing they wore strongly resembled Titus’ robe and all of them had shaved heads as well. But in contrast to Titus both of the guards also wore a red sash fastened to their robes.

Both of them looked surprised to see the company Titus was in but neither questioned the man as he was the leading flamekeeper.

They pushed the heavy doors open for them and Titus proceeded into the room mutely indicating Marie to follow her.

Once they had entered the doors were closed behind them again. Marie let her eyes travel through the room with interest. Torches and a variety of candles were basking the room in a golden glow and Marie could make out drawings on different places of the walls.

In addition a few shelves lined one wall heavily filled with different books and lose scrolls of parchment.

Titus turned around facing Marie his dark eyes serious and his voice sharp “What you will be taught here is of utmost secrecy. If you so much as mention a word of what you learn here to anyone beside myself, the commander and her general, I will take great pleasure in killing you myself”.

Marie gulped forcibly sensing immediately that the man did not make empty threats and her grey eyes widened even more. She nodded at once when she recognized that the man was awaiting some kind of response from her.

“You will be coming here an hour a day for as long as it takes you to read this” Titus informed her holding up a book which thankfully looked to be rather slim.

“We will discuss what you have read once you finished” he added offering the book to her.

“Do not damage it!” he cautioned his eyes promising her a probably painful punishment if she did.

Marie nodded again quickly.

“The book will not leave this room under any circumstances” the flamekeeper continued.

With careful fingers Marie accepted the book from his hands. The man glared down at her for another moment before he nodded “You will be called out when your hour is up”.

Not saying anything else Titus left Marie alone. The girl stood in the middle of the room silently gaping behind the man’s retreating back. Marie sighed loudly after the doors had closed again behind Titus. She had thought he would actually teach her something and not just hand over a book to her.

She inspected the book’s cover a little closer but found it was a plain black book bound in some kind of leather probably.

Marie let her eyes wander around the room some more finding the drawing on the wall actually more interesting than the prospect of reading a book. But as she tilted her head to look at them more closely she thought that it would probably be better to follow Titus’ orders. If she did not read anything and the man would ask her what she had read he would most definitely be angry and might even tell Lexa that she refused to learn something.

So with another sigh Marie sat down on the floor leaning against a bookshelf and opened the first side of the book.

Text written in elegant calligraphy met her eyes on the first page.

_“Commander Becca … Day 1. May 25, 2052”_ was written there. Marie furrowed her brow in confusion. If she remembered her brief history lessons correctly 2052 was the year the bombs fell and destroyed the old world.

Marie read on and the hour was over before she knew it. She jumped in fright when the doors were pushed open from the outside and one of the guards called her out.

In the last moment Marie remembered to leave the journal of Becca, although she still did not fully understand who Becca had been, in the room and placed it on the pedestal next to the bookshelf clearly visible.

Her mind was reeling with all the new information she had just read and she was even more confused than before. She had seen that the journal had contained numbers on the pages and it reached up to 350 and in this hour she had just managed to read twelve pages. With a groan she realized that continuing at this pace she would need a rather long time to get through the whole thing. She wondered internally why Titus could not just tell her what was written in there, that would be bound to be faster but she had the feeling that asking him would be futile.

A guard waited for her at the elevator telling her that he was to escort her back to the throne room.

The ambassadors of all the clans were in the process of filing out of the room when they entered the floor and once they were gone Marie went into the throne room finding no one in the huge room but she noticed that the door to the balcony stood open.

Marie stepped onto the balcony shivering immediately at the strong cold wind meeting her there as Lexa stood on the balcony looking down on her city.

The commander had just announced to the ambassadors that a Skykru delegation as expected to arrive in the upcoming days and that she would open talk about travel and trade routes with them to all the ambassadors which were interested.

As she had expected the reactions to her announcement had been rather mixed. Only a very few number of clans had shown open interest in participating in such talks while others had also quite openly refused to even contemplate such offers. They had been so loud in their opposing opinion that they had really tested Lexa’s patience hard. She had been barely holding onto her patience before she would have just kicked one of them out of the balcony to make an example of them.

Lexa looked over at the girl now standing slightly behind shivering in the icy wind, she herself felt the wind was more refreshing than anything else.

“And what you have you learned so far?” the commander asked her voice still strained somehow.

Marie looked up at her with conflicted grey eyes as she shrugged “Titus has given me a journal to read and left me”. Her tone was not directly accusative but it was still clear that she was not satisfied with this kind of task.

Lexa sighed a small smile tugging at her lips, Titus had done exactly the same to her once she had advanced far enough in her training as a nightblood to be inaugurated into the secrets of the flame. She had felt the same impatience Marie must be feeling right now.

“And you will read it” Lexa commented nonchalantly.

Marie tilted her head slightly “Have you read it as well?” her face was showing open curiosity.

Lexa nodded “Yes, as a nightblood during my education. Aden and Thalu have also already read it”.

“Mmh” was Marie’s grumbled only reaction showing she still wished this part of her education would go over differently.

“How far have you come?” Lexa questioned trying to steer the girl from her discontent.

“Only around fifteen pages” Marie admitted her expression made it clear that she felt this to be rather inadequate.

Lexa squeezed the girl’s shoulders gently “You will get quicker with practise and once you stop questioning every word and just continue to read”.

She remembered ranting at Titus herself all those years back how one hour a day was not sufficient time to finish the book. She had difficulties to focus to continue to read and was distracted by her own thoughts trying continuously to analyse what she had just read. Her former teacher’s only advice had been to stop thinking and store away the information for further analysis later. This particular advice had proven rather helpful not just in regard to Becca’s journal but other aspects of dealing with political decisions.

Marie looked at her with calculating big eyes but the girl nodded after a moment of silent contemplation. Internally the girl was rather perplexed by the information that Lexa and probably all the other nightbloods before had been introduced to this journal exactly the same way, she had suspected Titus to do it this way in an attempt to spite her and to spent the least amount of time needed in her company.

“Where is Anya?” Marie wanted to know after a few moments of easy silence.

“Assembling a search for the Ice Nation nightblood” Lexa informed their charge in a calm tone before she added eyes sharper again “I do not want you to leave the tower without at least one guard with you at any time, is that clear?”

Marie nodded slightly taken aback by the instance in Lexa’s demeanour. Thus far she had never wandered around the streets of Polis on her own anyway so she doubted that she would in the immediate future.

The sound of the door to the throne room being pushed open again and Titus voice calling for the commander called them back into the throne room.

Titus was not alone but in the company of the other nightblood children. All of them smiled happily at Lexa and Marie before Titus bowed once to the commander and left.

Marie spotted one smaller boy hanging back slightly from the group in the back of the throne room his back turned to them looking at the closed doors in front of him.

It was obvious the children were happy to see their commander returned to them healthily. Lexa still remembered how all of her nightblood brothers and sisters had breathed easier again once the commander had returned from a journey unharmed indicating no need for an immediate conclave.

Lexa gave the younger children a few moments to express their relief at seeing her again before she walked through them over to the boy she knew must be Luna’s son.

When Lexa crouched down slightly in front of the boy he immediately backed away from her and with a frown she noticed a big black bruise on the left side of his still roundish face. His hair had the same reddish colour as his mother's and was falling into his eyes in untamed wild curls, getting the hair braided if he choose to let it grow would be a nightmare with all those curls.

“You must be the new nightblood from the Boat People” Lexa approached him her voice gentle and she carefully kept her hands loosely beside her body “I am Lexa and you are?”

The boy’s eyes resembled his mother’s quite strongly, they had the same dark colour and shape “I am Boo” he whispered his voice tiny in the huge room. It was obvious he was afraid of her already and Lexa furrowed her brow unsure why the boy was afraid in the first place.

“I want to go home” Boo added his voice whiny and his dark eyes tearing up at his words.

Lexa sighed lowly trying to smile at the boy. It had been easier for her to be separated from her home, as her parents had been dead and she had still been younger than Boo was now.

“This will be your home now, Boo” she explained gently to the small boy. She knew that Boo would not see his mother anytime soon again, she doubted Luna would set foot into Polis again before she was not sure to be killed on the spot. But at least Luna’s reluctance to agree to this particular coalition law was justified now. Lexa had passed a law only two years ago that all nightblood children were to be brought to Polis for training as soon as their black blood was discovered or at the latest when they passed their third summer. Boo must have been three summers old back than already.

Lexa gently squeezed the boy’s bony shoulder ignoring how he tried to back away from her touch at first. She got up from facing the child and turned back to the other nightblood children. She was sure the boy would settle down soon enough once the homesickness wore off.

“So, what are the pillars of being a commander?” she asked addressing all her nightblood children and repeating a very basic lecture with them. She repeated all her lectures over and over again with them and she would do so now as well, Boo had never heard them after all. But it seemed that the boy was barely listening to her words, as his dark eyes kept on looking longingly at the door. She sighed and hoped she could actually do something to make the transition for the child any easier.


	98. Chapter 98

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 97  
> Lexa meets with Roan and the other ambassadors. Marie gets shown by Titus into the flamekeeper’s hidden room and is handed a journal from Becca to read. Lexa has a lesson with the nightblood children meeting Boo for the first time.

Chapter 98

When Anya returned to their quarters shortly before dusk the search had not made any progress. No one could definitely remember to have seen an Ice Nation girl which matched up to the description. Many vendors said they might have seen someone but no one was sure and there were no traces of unwanted guests.

But Polis was huge and not all citizens within Polis were completely unwaveringly loyal to the commander and after Lexa had established completely free travel it had gotten even harder to keep track of visitors to the city.

A lot of old structures of the old world still remained and were not in use and by thus it was nearly impossible to control and patrol every part of the city. That was why one of the previous commanders had a solid wall build around the original core of Polis to at least be able to get some sort of controllable perimeter.

They doubted Ontari would reside within the city walls but rather be staying in the edge of Polis. It was still questionable if the Ice Nation girl was alone in the city or who would help him.

Because of the lacking success to locate Ontari Anya’s mood was rather short when she returned.

Marie was sitting on the floor playing with Risha throwing a little ball for the cub to fetch. But the part where the cub was supposed to bring the ball back to Marie was still rather lacking and Risha preferred to have Marie run behind her to get the ball back.

Lexa had increased the guards around Clarke’s quarters just to be sure as well but the blonde Sky leader had not asked to see anyone. Alira had reported to the commander that Clarke had obviously not slept and barely touched any of her food.

The commander sat at the table brooding over maps trying to bring the place where the caravan of the Rock Line Clan had been robed into place. Something did still not add up but the Rock Line ambassador had been satisfied with the wares Lexa offered from Polis own storages. She had had to placate the Desert Clan ambassador which had been personally insulted by the unfounded accusation.

The girl was giggling out loud when the door snapped shut behind Anya. The general felt her own mood lighten momentarily at the sight of their charge.

“Anya” Marie chirped happily once she noticed that the general had returned as she had been gone for the complete day.

“As expected we could not find any traces of the Ice Nation nightblood” Anya reported to the commander.

“Look” Marie interrupted her immediately obviously excited about something.

Anya looked away from Lexa who had nodded at the unexpectedly news and returned her focus to her maps.

“What is it?” the general asked turning her attention to the girl in front of her.

Marie pulled out a second dagger from her thigh showing it to Anya proudly. The dagger strongly resembled the one she had already gotten from Lexa previously but what looked to a star had been carved into the dark wood of the handle.

Anya took the blade from the girl’s fingers carefully balancing the blade nodding approvingly at the flawless quality of the weapon. The blade was extremely sharp and if Marie took care of it, it would last her for a long time.

“It is very well crafted” she commented when she handed the dagger back to Marie “You should took good care of it to keep it that way”.

The girl immediately nodded with a smile on her features “Lexa gifted it to me”.

The general nodded with a slight smirk on her face as that had already been obvious to her and would not have needed mentioning at all. But she was glad to see the girl returned to her chirpy spirit no matter the reason.

Marie went into the bathroom a few moments later so Lexa turned to her former mentor. It was getting rather late and she did not have the chance before to discuss their sleeping arrangements yet.

“Marie should stay with me this night” Lexa suggested looking up from her maps and giving up to see what remained confusing for her for the day. If she stayed over the maps any longer she would just get a headache anyway.

Anya raised an eyebrow at the younger woman critically in silent question.

“If I am correct, I will face the same problem you did last night” Lexa explained and at Anya’s confused expression she added with a sigh “I think that Marie needs both of us present right now to really sleep, but we will see how this night goes over”.

Anya furrowed her brows “She should just sleep” she stated nonchalantly being sure that the girl’s problems with sleeping would vanish on their own with time.

Lexa laughed lightly “You know it won’t be this easy”.

“We cannot share quarters in the tower” Anya retorted obviously slightly annoyed.

“And why not?” Lexa asked critically. Of course it would be highly uncommon for a commander to share quarters with anyone but she still thought her sleeping arrangements were no one else’s business.

Anya just sighed and shook her head already recognizing in Lexa’s expression that the decision had already been made and no matter what she would say would not change the outcome. But it annoyed her that the younger woman might just be able to calm their charge better than she could.

When Marie returned Anya told her curtly “You will stay in Lexa’s quarters for the night” and with that she left without another word.

Marie watched the woman retreat with a furrowed brow her shoulders dropping considerably before she turned to Lexa “Did I do something wrong?”

The insecurities obvious in the girl’s small voice tugged at Lexa’s heart and she quickly reassured her that Anya was just tired after a long day and frustrated that their search had been unsuccessful.

Marie did not look completely convinced but she settled down in the bed willingly when Lexa asked her to.

Trying to get the girl asleep Lexa started to read a book of the old world to the girl named “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone”.

It did not take long at all for Marie to fall asleep peacefully in Lexa’s arms.

True to Lexa’s prediction it did not take very long for the girl’s nightmares to resurface. The commander tried in vain to get Marie to sleep again.

“You want to see Anya, am I correct?” Lexa checked while gently wiping tears from the girl’s cheeks.

The expression when she nodded was miserable and Lexa squeezed the girl’s shoulders reassuringly telling her to stay in the bed and she would go and fetch Anya herself.

When Anya was startled awake after what felt like barely any sleep at all she confusedly searched for the dagger hidden beneath her pillow.

When her expression cleared after a few moments she sighed “Marie?”

“Of course” Lexa answered simply pointing for her general to come with her. Anya quickly gathered a few things she would be needing in the morning and followed the younger woman silently through the hall.

Marie was sitting up right in the bed when they entered and she hurled herself at Anya hugging the woman who looked rather perplexed strongly.

Anya stroked the girl’s fine hair now slightly curled being loose of the braids she had worn over the day.

Lexa silently thanked that her bed had an enormous size and they comfortably fit into it together with enough space to turn around and settle to sleep.

Lexa’s hypothesis regarding Marie’s nightmares was proven when the girl did not wake once more at all through the whole night feeling secured by both of their presences.

Anya resigned herself silently to the fact that all of them would be sharing the commander’s quarters for the unforeseeable future. The only other positive side she found in this was the fact that Lexa now would not be alone as well making her harder to target for an assassination attempt.

Alira was noticeably confused when she received the order in the morning to move some things of Anya and Marie into Lexa’s quarters for now. The handmaiden braided Lexa’s and Marie’s hair quickly for both of them before she went to carry out the orders.

“We move into your quarters?” Marie questioned Lexa during breakfast with a frown.

Lexa brushed off the girl’s worries “Only for the time until you sleep better”.

Marie ducked her head with a crestfallen expression “I don’t want to cause anymore bother…” she looked down at her knees at the words.

With a finger under her chin Lexa guided the girl’s back up to look into her grey eyes “You are not” she reassured her intently.

Marie smiled a watery smile at her until Anya also squeezed her shoulders in additional confirmation.

The morning was spent together with Anya in the streets of Polis searching for traces of the Ice Nation nightblood. Marie had been unsure of how such a search looked like but it involved a lot of questioning of citizens and vendors.

Lexa in the meantime was occupied long until after midday with several meetings between different ambassadors.

Marie was pouting slightly that there was still no snow to be seen. But Anya reassured the girl quickly that eventually there would be snow, the girl’s childish exited impatience was slightly amusing.

Risha was accompanying them through the streets and Alira had been true in her prediction and the little cub won the hearts over from anyone they met in no time at all.

At mealtime Anya steered the girl to the market. The market still bustled with people although it was obvious that the temperatures had dropped already and everyone was dressed in much warmer clothes.

Marie happily tried different roasted meats from the vendors and watched how Risha was totally overjoyed with all the different smells. The vendors seemed unable to resist the cub’s natural charm and cuteness and soon some of them actually waited to offer little bits of meats to the animal making a small competition out of which bite the cub would choose.

Afterwards Anya guided them back to the tower. They had been outside for the whole morning and the cub would probably already be tired out.

Lexa had asked Anya in the morning to shortly visit Clarke just to check if the Sky leader was settling in well and feeling fine or if she needed anything. Anya had just looked at Lexa sceptically “Why don’t you do it yourself?” she had asked. “I am busy” Lexa had retorted defensively. The older woman had of course looked right through the lie and after a silent glare Lexa sighed “I don’t think she would admit if she needed anything to me”. The general had huffed but agreed in the end.

So now they were on the way to the quarters which had been assigned to Clarke for her stay. On the way into the elevator they met Titus and the man told Marie to go down to read her hour right now.

Anya nodded to the girl that it was alright to go and that she would bring her cub up as well.

Marie was slightly more enthusiastic than the day before to go down into the dungeons with Titus actually being interested in the book and what had really happened when the old world ended.

Anya curtly nodded on Clarke’s door, the guards still standing outside a clear indication that the girl had not left the room yet. When there came no response after a moment Anya pushed the door open anyway entering without permission.

The door to Clarke’s balcony stood wide open and the icy wind blew into the room, no fire was burning in the fire place.

Anya frowned at the fire place quickly holding her hands above the remaining embers finding them completely cold indicating that the fire must have gone out a pretty long time ago and it was as cold in the room as outside. With practiced hands Anya had a fire blazing in the fire pit again only moments later.

The general knew that Clarke could only be outside on the balcony so there was no hurry to search for her.

She let her eyes scan the room momentarily taking in the completely untouched plate of food. The furs looked ruffled up but that was no indication how long or well the girl had slept.

Anya shortly took a glance into the connected bathroom finding the bath filled with water still which was completely cold and looked unused.

The general stepped out on the balcony her heart skipping a beat when she spotted Clarke sitting on the edge her legs dangling over the edge dangerously.

“Is this some kind of strange habit of Sky people?” Anya inquired nonchalantly keeping her tone light. She hovered slightly behind Clarke should her appearance startle the girl, she knew Lexa would be less than pleased if the girl fell from the tower into her sure death.

Clarke indeed did startle slightly and Anya quickly grabbed a firm hold of her arms and hurled the girl completely down from the edge. Her skin was ice cold to the touch and she only wore a thin undershirt and trousers. Her blue eyes looked alarmingly haunted and lost.

Anya shook her head at such foolishness steering the younger woman inside and pushing her down on the bed where Risha had already made herself at home closing the door to the balcony firmly.

The general stood in front of Clarke who still sat in the same position Anya had pushed her onto the bed staring at nothing.

“Do you want to die?” she critically asked the young woman.

Her blue eyes snapped up at Anya live returning to them immediately “I do not deserve to die!” her voice was raised and it was clear how agitated she felt.

The general stared down at her questioningly completely unfazed by her outburst “And why is that?”

“There is so much blood on my hands …” Clarke pressed out through clenched teeth pulling her knees up to her chest.

Anya rolled her eyes at the younger woman “Than learn to live with it. Sitting here wallowing in self-pity won’t make it better” and she added after a moment “Being angry at the world and Lexa won’t help either”.

Clarke sighed dejectedly grabbing her legs more firmly as she started to shiver against the sudden temperature change as the fire started to warm the air around them.

Anya grabbed a fur from the bed and wrapped it around the woman’s body picking up a mug with watered wine and firmly shoving into her hands with the barked command “Drink!”

How the girl had survived several weeks on her own in the wilderness and now seemed to be completely incapable of taking care of herself was a complete mystery to Anya. She watched silently leaning against the wall next to the bed how Clarke indeed drank down the watered down wine without even so much as a grimace at the bitter taste.

“I know that I have no one to be angry at but myself” the young woman said lowly once she had drained the whole cup.

“That is progress at least” Anya commented her brows furrowed. She had seen the stages of grief already in many different people and knew that Clarke needed to pull through somehow so that she could get better again.

Clarke looked up at the other woman snorting mutely and shaking her head. She had no idea why she had even wanted to come to Polis, but staying at the Ark had been a completely unbearable prospect.

She just now spotted the wolf cub she knew Marie had adopted rolled together in the furs next to her. With the ghost of a smile washing over her face she carefully let her fingers glide through the animal’s soft fur. Risha perked up at the attention and leaned into the touch dramatically.

“You need to do something other than sit here and stare at the walls” Anya added still staring down at the young woman.

Clarke looked up at her and the hopelessness on her face was so raw even Anya felt sympathy for her. “And what?” the young leader asked dejectedly “Killing seems to be the only thing I am good at…”

Anya shook her head again taking a deep breath knowing that snapping at the stubborn blonde would probably not work now. “You can do anything you want” Anya choose to say ignoring the last statement all together for now.

“There is a huge library in the tower” Anya started her suggestions “You could even start by going out into the streets and getting to know something of Polis”.

Clarke firmly shook her head “I don’t want to hear them thank me for what I had to do”.

Anya pinched the bridge of her nose her annoyance flaring up minutely but she took a few deep breath before she tried to reason with the woman again “Than go to the healers and help them. Skilled hands are always welcomed”.

“How can hands that brought such destruction heal now?” Clarke retorted tears gathering in her blue eyes. Risha tapped her paw against Clarke’s thigh at the loss of attention and it brought a watery smile on her features.

Anya huffed out an annoyed breath as she felt completely inadequate to talk sense into the girl. She knew that she could say whatever she wanted, Clarke had to want to do something. But she needed a purpose and that urgently and she needed to be moved into quarters that did not have any balcony or better yet one without windows, she did not trust Clarke not to suddenly jump out when her mood hit the bottom.

The general pushed away from the wall. “Come with me” she ordered simply and although visibly confused Clarke followed her without question.

The guards watched with furrowed brows how Clarke seemed to stumble behind the general. Anya led Clarke to the elevator bringing her up to the highest floor. She knew that the only other quarter which was unoccupied at the moment did not possess a balcony and the sole window was too small for Clarke to squeeze through.

Fortunately on the way there they ran into Alira _“Can you bring Clarke things up here and sent the lead healer up as well?”_

The older handmaiden nodded quickly checking them over for visible injuries before she left.

Clarke looked around the new room with barely any interest. The wolf cub padding around the room and sniffing the inventory was obviously more interesting to watch.

Barely a moment later had a knock sounded on the door and an old woman stood at the entrance “ _Laurel, thank you for coming. Clarke is versed in the art of healing and needs somethings to occupy her mind”_ Anya introduced to the lead healer.

The woman’s skin was already wrinkled with age, her brown hair grey in a few places but her bright eyes were still sharp and she nodded taking in the emptiness in the younger woman’s features and the way she carried herself. Word had spread through the tower quickly who the commander’s personal guest was exactly and Laurel knew she must be important to the commander to be granted this honour.

The general quickly thanked her for her assistance and left them to it certain that Marie would also be returning any moment now.


	99. Chapter 99

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 98  
> The search for Ontari goes over unsuccessfully. Anya and Lexa agree after another night to share their quarters until Marie sleeps better. Marie accompanies Anya into the streets before Anya goes to meet Clarke. The general finds Clarke clearly suicidal introducing her to Laurel, the lead healer, trying to give her a purpose.

Chapter 99

The next three days went over pretty quickly. It was obvious that Marie was feeling better with every hour passing after their return.

Sharing a bed with Anya and Lexa together also greatly helped in fending off the girl’s nightmares. She still woke up at least once per night but she let herself be calmed down again quickly so that she was still well rested at the next morning.

They had been in Polis now for four days. Three of them Anya had spent mostly occupied with organizing the guards and repeating the gruelling task to determine their loyalty. In addition the general personally helped patrolling the streets.

Marie found patrolling the streets rather boring and had begged Anya to be allowed to stay inside of the tower instead. The weather had not warmed again and the temperature had dropped so low that the girl was able to see her breath every time she stepped outside no matter which time it was.

Accompanying Lexa to meetings was not fun at all for the girl as well. She only liked those meetings which were opened to all citizens. The other ones where just ambassadors were present were boring and Marie wondered how Lexa could listen to the adults squabbling amongst them worse than children.

On a positive note Titus had officially allowed her to spend some time with the nightblood children each day in the afternoon after their own training was finished for the day. But Marie was rather convinced that Lexa had probably just ordered that anyway as it was still obvious that the flamekeeper’s opinion of her had not changed in the slightest.

Risha usually accompanied her to the nightblood children and the others absolutely adored the cub. Marie was slightly envious of the attention the small animal got from the others already feeling that they only had asked to see her to see Risha again but she would not admit to that out loud.

On this morning the first snowflakes had finally fallen from the sky and Marie had squealed excitedly at the sight. Her excitement was baffled somewhat when Anya told her that she would be busy at the guard house for most of the day and this time Marie was not allowed to join her. Lexa was also swept up with meetings promising the obviously disappointed girl to try to make some time later in the day to go out with her at least shortly.

So Marie now trudged through the halls of the tower with a pout on her face looking outside longingly every time she passed a window. Gustus had a few days of his duty to visit his wife who had supposedly fallen ill, so there was no one left to take her outside right now. The commander had offered that she could go out with any guard she wanted, but that would not be the same, Marie wanted to share the experience with one of them and not a guard she did not even know.

Stopping in front of the door to Clarke’s quarters Marie knocked on the door waiting to hear if the older girl was there or not. She did not hear a verbal answer but Marie thought she had heard movement inside so she carefully pushed the door open and Risha immediately pushed her muzzle through the barely opened door slipping inside on silent paws, for some reason the cub seemed to like Clarke rather well.

The blonde sat on the huge bed knees pulled up to her chest balancing a heavy book on her legs. She had obviously not even heard them enter.

“Risha wanted to visit you” Marie offered with an innocent look once Clarke did notice them her blue eyes narrowing at the unwanted intrusion. The girl plopped down on the mattress beside Clarke peering at what the older girl was reading.

“It is snowing outside” Marie commented once Clarke had turned back to reading not minding the girl sitting next to her at all, but her fingers stroked through Risha’s soft fur.

Clarke looked up shortly her brow furrowing before her attention returned to the book without saying a word.

Marie huffed “I am bored”.

“I can see that” Clarke commented darkly. She was still not feeling like having company and although she did not have anything against Marie she would prefer more silent solitude. She had started to go down to the lead healer who resided in the middle of tower and helped the older woman taking inventory of all of her supplies learning what ointments they produced as she did so. Clarke knew it was a rather senseless task and strongly assumed it to be a task solely made up for her but she was rather grateful for the few hours of reprieve from her own thoughts it offered to her. The old healer had a lot of books in her possession describing some healing techniques Clarke had never heard off before and Laurel had offered her to take a book with her up to her quarters to read if she pleased and now she was interrupted by Marie.

After a few silent moments Marie got the hint that Clarke was unwilling to do something with her so the girl sighed and got up from the bed again. “Traitor” she muttered lowly when she spotted Risha soundly asleep under Clarke’s tender loving care. But without any clear destination in mind Marie left the cub with Clarke knowing that Risha would return to their quarters later on anyway.

Marie trailed through the halls letting her fingertips glide against the cold walls as she did so humming softly to herself earning a few rather confused stares from the guards posted around the tower.

When Marie the elevator stopped on the level reserved for the nightbloods she was surprised to see Boo moving to the stairs leading down.

The boy’s curly hair hung low into his dark eyes and he did not even look up as he silently padded down the stairs being cautious not to be noticed by the guards. Marie furrowed her brow when she spotted a knapsack slung over the boy’s small shoulder.

She had tried to get the smaller boy to talk to her the last three days but he seemed to be completely unwilling to spend any time with any of them preferring to just hide in his bed as soon as they were let out of their lessons.

Marie quickly thought on what to do. The bruise she had seen on Boo’s face was according to Aden not from a training session and the girl had frowned at the older boy until he admitted that Titus could sometimes be rather rough with them if he was just annoyed enough. She did not want to get the small boy into trouble by alerting the guards to what looked to be like an escape attempt. She felt sorry for him as it was obvious he felt terribly homesick and she guessed he tried to return to his family.

Making a quick decision Marie signalled the elevator to move down to the base level of the tower where she quickly moved into a small niche not visible from the stairs and then she simply waited.

When Boo finally returned a guard shift was obviously taking place. To Marie’s horror it gave Boo who still much smaller than her the perfect opportunity to slip from the tower completely undetected while she had to wait a few moments, which seemed like a whole eternity to her, to finally be able to follow behind him.

Once outside Marie was momentarily distracted by the white swirls of snow whirling around her in the air, it had snowed enough yet for the ground to be covered but it still looked amazing. Boo’s red curly hair was easy to spot and as he turned around a corner out of view Marie hurried behind the younger boy not thinking twice on what she was doing.

Marie immediately slung her arms around herself regretting not wearing a coat at the moment. She was shivering quiet strongly when she finally caught up with Boo.

“Hey!” she addressed him making the boy stop dead in his tracks and whirl around. Boo’s features turned ghostly white and his dark eyes were widened when he recognized Marie for who she was.

“I … I …” Boo stuttered out obviously thinking hard on a reason to explain why he was outside alone, the security for the nightbloods had been increased as well and they were also prohibited from leaving the tower on their own.

“You can’t run away like that” Marie simply said smiling down sadly at the boy.

“I wasn’t” Boo was quick to reassure even though the tips of his ears turned slightly red.

Marie raised her brow and pointed at the knapsack “I don’t know the lands around Polis very well but I doubt you would reach your family on your own”.

The boy’s features turned dark and tears gathered in his eyes “I won’t to go home! I hate it here! I don’t want to become evil!”

Marie tilted her head slightly confused by the last statement “Polis is not that bad and why evil?”

“All commanders are evil” the boy proclaimed his voice strong with conviction.

Marie furrowed her brow arms akimbo angrily “Lexa is not!” she retorted strongly.

“But I want to go home” Boo said again his voice now closer to tears “I want to see nomon and Adria…” Tears now welled up in his dark eyes and Marie felt her own anger evaporate being replaced by sympathy for Boo.

“How about I show you the stables?” the girl tried in an attempt to lighten the boy’s mood. She was sure Boo would be in trouble when they returned to the tower so cheering him up now would not worsen the punishment.

The boy looked up at her with big eyes wiping at his tears before he nodded. The Boat People did not own horses themselves and thus he was pretty unfamiliar with the animals but he was fascinated by them and had heard that the stables of the commander only held the best war horses of all clans.

Marie smiled reassuringly at him and took his hand leading the way to the stables. On the way Marie retold to him how she had met Lexa’s black mare and was now allowed to visit when she wished to. Boo was clearly impressed by the tale and he seemed to have forgotten his plan to run away all together for now.

Lexa’s white mare seemed nervous but neighed happily at her visitors and Marie immediately stroked over her silky mane thinking that the horse was probably frustrated from being caged inside. Boo’s eyes were shining with wonder when the mare sniffed at him and he cautiously touched the horse’s nose being surprised by the silky texture.

Suddenly Boo looked up biting at his lip “I need to go back before Titus comes to collect us for dinner” and with that the boy turned and sprinted from the stables.

Marie silently hoped the boy was truly going back into the tower. She made to follow him when she noticed what appeared to be dark blood on the straw between the horses’ pens.

With a furrowed brow and cautiously grabbing a dagger in one hand Marie followed the trail just now noticing the absence of anyone actually working at the stables with a frown.

Suddenly a form jumped at her and Marie was completely unprepared for the attacker’s strength. She felt a hand fisting in her hair ripping her head back painfully before her forehead connected with something solid, she felt her fingers slipping on the dagger, the weapon falling into the straw uselessly and everything turned black.

Anya felt the frustration of the last days buzzing in her veins, she had personally never enjoyed being cooped up in the city preferring the woods where she had been born. None of their searches had come up with any trace or even absolute proof that there indeed was a young Ice Nation woman within the walls of the city. She would have preferred taking Marie out right away in the morning but she had already scheduled to evaluate the volunteers for Lexa’s private unit and as some of them had travelled to Polis exactly for that purpose she could not simply tell them to wait a day longer.

After making a quick round through the streets Anya returned to the tower for lunch. She used the elevator to first seek out Lexa and as she had anticipated the commander was still holed up in the throne room.

“Where is Marie?” Anya asked after the last ambassador had filed out of the room leaving only Lexa flanked by Ryder and Titus in the huge room.

“I don’t know” Lexa answered studying Anya’s drawn features intently “Maybe she is with Clarke or with the nightbloods”.

“The nightbloods are studying without her” Titus said having brought the conclave to the library only an hour ago himself and knowing that the girl had not been among them.

“Have Clarke summoned here and ask the other guards if anyone has seen my second leave” Lexa ordered to a guard standing at the entrance to the throne room, the man nodded and left with quick strides.

Anya looked out onto the balcony and noticed that the snow had turned stronger and the wind had picked up. A thought occurred to her, it was still possible that Marie had left the tower without permission to finally experience her long awaited snow. She direly hoped that the girl had not disobeyed them so blatantly but she was still a child and a curious one at that so it was still possible.

Clarke was led into the throne room a few moments later and to Anya’s surprise Marie’s wolf cub was with her. The blonde leader looked slightly nervous to be summoned to the throne room as her blue eyes took in the new surroundings.

“You wished to see me” she said her voice taking on a hint of anger at being summoned at all.

Lexa nodded but remained sitting on her throne “Have you seen Marie?”

The blonde furrowed her brow “A few hours ago, but she left on her own again. Risha had fallen asleep on the bed”.

The commander nodded “The Skykru delegation is scheduled to arrive today”

Clarke nodded having counted the days herself but she did not know why that concerned herself.

Lexa waited if Clarke would react to her people coming to Polis but except the nod that she understood there was nothing.

“If you wish to partake…” Lexa offered but Clarke cut her off.

The blonde shook her head with a resolute expression “I don’t wish to partake. I am not a leader to Skykru anymore”.

Lexa ground her teeth together at being interrupted like that and she raised a critical brow at the other woman “You will always be their leader” she stated simply.

“I ran away, Lexa” Clarke retorted anger rising in her blue eyes again.

“That does not change the …” Lexa started to try to reason with the blonde but Clarke cut her off again.

“I wish to be left alone” Clarke assured more forcefully “If that is all, I’d like to return to my room, I am tired”. Her blue eyes lost most of their ferocity at the last statement.

Lexa sighed lowly but she nodded “It is your choice, Clarke. If you change your mind, the meeting will take place here”.

The commander watched the blonde leave the room in silence. Shortly after the door fell shut behind her it was opened again by the guard “No one has seen your second leave the tower, Heda”.

Lexa nodded and dismissed him. Anya furrowed her brow “I will look in your quarters” worry was taking root within her. It was uncharacteristic for the girl to seek solitude in the hours of the day.

“I will escort the conclave to their lunch” Titus announced and after receiving a nod from the commander the flamekeeper swept out of the room.

Lexa remained sitting in her throne lost deep in thought. Laurel had spoken to her in the morning about Clarke and; added up to what Anya had reported; Clarke’s state of mind worried her deeply. She had hoped to be able to help the other young leader but she knew that Clarke would not take any advice from her at the moment. She had noticed how Clarke had refrained from labelling anything beginning with the room and the bed as her own. She hoped that Clarke just needed time to heal her mind but she knew that some warriors never recovered from the mental wounds of battle.

She knew that there would never be a real possibility of running from the duties of a leader. Lexa was aware that her own people would surely kill her for treason should she ever attempt such an act. But she doubted that Clarke would ever cease being a leader, a small part of her envied Clarke for the chance to get a reprieve she herself would never get.

The commander was pulled out of her thoughts when the doors to the throne room were pushed open again. Titus entered shoving Boo in front of him with an angry sneer on his face.

Lexa thinned her lips when the boy stumbled in his steps at another hard shove to his small frame. The boy looked to be totally afraid of what was happening.

“Titus, that shall be enough” Lexa interjected before the man could shove the small boy again.

“Boo can tell you something about the whereabouts of your second” the flamekeeper retorted looking down at the boy pointedly.

The boy gnawed at his lips his expression the very image of guilt “Marie … she … stopped me …” the boy’s voice was shaking strongly and he was inching away from the throne.

“She stopped you from what, Boo?” Lexa asked her voice calm and her face open.

“From running away” the boy whispered almost too low to catch the words.

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose nodding with a mute sigh. She had been aware that the boy had not settled in yet, but she had been unaware just how much Boo wished to return home. If the small boy had succeeded in leaving the protected walls of Polis he would have probably died long before he could have reached the sea, either freezing to death at night, being killed by a predator or starving, if he would have found the way at all.


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! Chapter 100. I can't believe it?!  
> Anyone still interested? ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 99  
> Marie is left alone for most of the day, Anya and Lexa are both occupied with their duties. The girl sees Boo leaving the tower and stops him from running away, showing him the horses to cheer him up. In the stables she is overpowered by someone before she is knocked unconscious. Lexa is awaiting the arrival of Skykru while Anya searches for Marie in the tower.

Chapter 100

Lexa exhaled a deep breath calming herself forcefully. It was obvious Boo was terrified enough of her already lashing out at him in anger would only worsen the situation now. She could not hold it against the small child to be homesick but she also could not remember any of her other nightblood children to actually try to flee from Polis.

The boy was fidgeting in front of her biting down on his lip strongly and barely met her eye at all.

Titus did not look surprised at the boy’s admission so Lexa concluded that the flamekeeper had already heard him admit to what had happened. The commander hoped the boy had made the admission on his own free will without being forced.

But that also meant that Marie indeed had left the tower on her own. How both children had managed to slip around the guards without detection was beyond her and such failure to their duty angered the commander deeply. If two children were able to slip from the tower unnoticed it would still be able to enter in the same fashion.

Anya returned to the throne room a moment later the sound of the door opening again startling Boo making him jump in place.

The general shook her head “She is not in your quarters and her coat is still there as well” a slight worry was detectable on her face.

“Boo, when have you met Marie?” the commander questioned the child. If the girl had left her coat leaving the tower had at least obviously not been planned.

The boy looked up at her with uncertainty written on his roundish face “I don’t know. I was back before the flamekeeper brought us to the library. Marie showed me your horses”.

The boy’s dark eyes glittered at the mention of the animals, he was obviously as fascinated with them as Marie tented to be.

“Maybe she is still within the stables” Lexa guessed addressing Anya. They both knew how much their charge adored their mounts and it was easy for a child to lose the track of time. The general nodded already turning around and striding from the room again to search for Marie there.

“Titus, bring Boo back to the others to have lunch” she instructed her voice calm “I will speak with you alone at a later time, Boo”. She would need to make sure that the boy trying to run away from Polis did not happen again but Lexa was aware that Boo first needed to feel more at home in the city.

The small boy visibly gulped but nodded and hurried behind the serene flamekeeper.

Anya hurried down to the base of the tower, she had brought Marie’s coat with her. If the girl was still within the stables she had been there for some time now and the general grimaced at the prospect of the girl falling sick again due to her own foolishness.

When the general reached the stables she called out, but no one answered. With a frown Anya entered the stables, it was unusual for the place to be deserted completely. Her own horse was trampling in its paddock clearly unsettled and Anya quickly calmed the steed down wondering what had upset her mount in the first place.

All of Lexa’s horses seemed rather unsettled as well but she knew that they would not be calmed by her. When Anya turned around from her brown steed she noticed a trail of what appeared to be blood in the straw on the ground.

She followed the trail and found a heap of straw. Anya brushed some of the straw away and cursed under her breath when she found a barely hidden corpse. She recognized the corpse for the boy who was a second at the commander’s stables and his throat had obviously been slit.

When she stepped back the heel of one of her boots connected with something solid on the ground. Bending down Anya picked up a dagger, recognizing it as one of Marie’s weapons immediately.

Her heart sank into her stomach at the realisation that Marie was obviously not here anymore and judging from the traces in front of her a struggle had taken place here. Anya looked around the stables some more and found fresh blood sticking to a bar and she just now realized that one of the paddocks was empty, one of the commander’s horses missing. So whoever had been here had also stolen a horse by thus gaining the advantage of a faster travel.

Anya quickly left the stables clutching Marie’s weapon in her hand, cursing both herself and Lexa for leaving the girl unsupervised in the first place. Her thoughts were running wild as her blood ran cold, whoever had taken Marie had an undefined head start and  they had no idea when the girl had been taken or by who and thus where she could have been taken.

Once she entered the tower Anya barked at the guards to lock down the tower and the inner circle of Polis although she knew there was only a very slim chance that Marie was being kept somewhere within the walls of Polis.

The guards sprang into action immediately with the way the general’s expression promised a painful death to anyone who would stand in her way right now.

When Anya entered the floor which held the throne room Titus tried to block her from entering the room.

“Move out of my way, flamekeeper!” Anya loudly hissed at the man not standing for his attitude at the moment.

“The Skykru delegation has arrived, Heda is not to be disturbed” Titus sternly retorted meeting her gaze with calm dark eyes.

Anya growled at the man and physically shoved him from the door making the man stumble against the wall and before he could try to block her again she opened the heavy door herself and strode in.

All eyes were already on her when she entered, the commotion she had caused had probably been audible through the closed doors. Anya quickly registered that Charles Pike was also part of the Skykru group with a frown.

Lexa felt her throat tighten painfully at seeing Anya return alone without their charge and the dagger clutched in the general’s hand did not promise any good news.

The conversation they had been engaged in had stopped completely and Lexa ignored the Skykru delegation for now “ _What have you found?”_ she tried to keep her voice steady but even to her own eyes it sounded faltering.

_“A second working at the stable with a slit throat, signs of a struggle, one of your horses missing and this”_ Anya quickly reported stepping closer to Lexa and handing over the dagger. The commander immediately recognized it to be her own dagger she had gifted to Marie weeks ago, she clenched her fingers around the handle strongly. Involuntarily memories of finding Costia’s head within their shared bed flashed up in her mind.

“ _Any indication who took her?”_ Lexa questioned shooing the memories from her mind and the general shook her head.

Titus who had followed inside the room after Anya and had listened to their conversation had a calculating look on his face “Are you even sure she was taken?”

Anya’s eyes blazed angrily as she whirled around to face him and glared at the man _“What is it you imply?!”_

“Taken?” Markus Kane echoed as Titus had switched to English making it possible for them to follow the conversation.

“Who was taken?” Bellamy chimed in worry tinting his voice “Clarke?”

Titus was staring back at Anya unfazed and the open accusation that Marie could have been the one to steal a horse and run away was plain on his face.

“Enough!” Lexa roared to Anya and Titus on both sides, she did not wish to believe that Titus obviously truly thought Marie capable of such an act “No this does not concern Clarke, but Marie”.

Charles Pike sneered “Did you not say the girl was under your protection?”

Anya actually growled at the man in response while Lexa did not deem that worthy of an articulate response. Internally she cursed the timing of the abduction with Skykru being here she could not leave Polis, not even for Marie. The ambassadors would never talk to Skykru without her there to mediate between them.

Lexa turned her sole attention to Anya holding her brown eyes reflecting the worry and inner turmoil she herself felt _“Gather a search party and find here”._

Anya nodded with a solemn expression both of them aware that the general would not return before she had found their charge.

Lexa watched Anya go with a heavy heart desperately praying to any higher power that may exist to see Marie return to them alive and unharmed. If her worst fear was confirmed and Marie was already in Nia’s hands she was aware that the girl was as good as dead already.

 

Marie woke suddenly to the sensation of falling. With a pained groan she actually connected with solid ground. She was disoriented for a few moments feeling a sickening crack in her left shoulder at the impact. Her hands were firmly tied behind her back and something was covering her eyes making it impossible to see where she was.

She heard movements to her right side and tried to crawl away from the origin thinking that it was whoever had knocked her out. Marie confusedly noted that her trousers were starting to get damp at the knees although it did not seem to rain.

Suddenly someone grabbed the bindings tying her hands together pulling her onto her feet forcefully. Marie let out a little pained groan at the jostling movement in her shoulder, she hoped nothing was broken but the intensity of the pain was making it hard to focus on anything but the pulsing pain.

“Don’t struggle, you won’t escape me” a voice suddenly hissed into her ears, the voice sounded threatening and cold.

Marie tried to twist out of the grasp pulling her along on instinct anyway, but it was obvious she was physically no match to her abductor. The girl stumbled blindly behind her abductor many times almost falling over when her feet slipped on the slight dusting of snow beneath her feet. The hands pulling at her had to intercept her almost falls a few times until suddenly her abductor fell down with her and Marie heard a pained groan coming from another mouth.

“Could you be any less clumsy?!” her abductor sounded angry once she was pulled roughly to her feet again.

“I can’t see” Marie retorted truthfully. It had been hard enough to stumble through the woods when Anya had her practice without looking at the ground every few seconds but now that she was completely blinded there was no way of predicting on what she would step next and her abductor pulled her along at a quick pace which did not help the matter at all.

Judging from the timbre of her abductors voice Marie actually was pretty sure that she was female.

Her abductor hissed a string of curse words, or Marie guessed them to be curse words from the tone, but she did not understand the actual words.

Her suspicion was confirmed when suddenly the blindfold was ripped down. Marie blinked a few times against the sudden light looking up at her abductor for the first time.

What Marie noticed right away were the scars marking the girl’s face. She gulped forcibly making the connection internally between the dark blood she had seen and the obvious Ice Nation scars. It seemed she had found the Ice Nation nightblood or rather she had been found by her.

“You are Ontari, aren’t you?” Marie addressed the older girl her voice trembling slightly. Speaking up had obviously been a bad move, as soon as the words had left her mouth, her head was whipped to the sight by the impact of a strong slap to her face.

Marie looked back at Ontari with widened eyes tears gathering in them immediately at the sting now blooming in her cheek. The girl’s dark eyes were glittering angrily “How do you know my name?” she questioned roughly grabbing Marie’s arms in a bruising grip giving her a shake.

“Ouch” Marie let out through clenched teeth “That hurts!”

Ontari’s fingers only tightened around her upper arms before she shook her jostling her already hurt shoulder, making Marie gulp for air against the pain cursing through left side.

“Roan” Marie said through clenched teeth trying to stop herself from crying out.

Ontari let out another string of curse words before she shook her head and roughly pulled at Marie’s bound hands forcing the girl to fall into step behind her.

They seemed to walk for hours and the longer they walked the colder Marie felt. It was still snowing and the wind had picked up, the thin shirt she was wearing did nothing to fend of the biting chill at all.

Marie had lost complete track of where they were, she did not even know for sure in which direction she was dragged. With a sinking heart Marie realized that due to the snow they did not leave any real traces. She must have been gone from Polis for hours already and she silently wondered if Anya and Lexa had already noticed that she was missing and if they were searching for her already.

She wished she could turn back the time now and just stop Boo from leaving the tower all together, she would have never run into Ontari if she had not followed the boy.

Being cold, hungry, in pain and overall miserable Marie wished for nothing more than to be back in Polis, safe inside the tower and a lone tear slid down her cheek at the thought of Lexa and Anya.

Suddenly Ontari lurched her in another direction and Marie barely managed not to fall at the unexpected change in direction.

Marie had no idea where Ontari wanted them to go, but it was clear the girl had a destination in mind.

A few minutes later Marie recognized what Ontari had obviously seen long before her, the entrance to a cave, hidden well by a cliff.

The older girl roughly shoved her inside “Try to run and I will start by taking fingers” she threatened with a sneer and a glint in her dark eyes that assured Marie it was not an empty threat.

Marie quickly shook her head mutely assuring the other girl she would not try to escape. Ontari forcefully pushed her down sitting on the cold ground before the girl started to make a fire.

It was clear that the cave had been used before. There was an older fire pit and even stored fire wood and a few other basic supplies.

Marie unobtrusively inched closer to the fire once Ontari had succeeded in starting it.

When Ontari caught her movements out of the corner of her eyes she whirled around “Don’t move!” she barked at her voice commanding and cold.

Marie nodded immediately slumping down again feeling her shoulder give a painful lurch with her hands bound behind her back.

“Where will you bring me?” Marie asked not really expecting an answer at all and at the same time not sure if she actually wanted to know. She had heard enough of the Ice Nation queen Nia to know that she never wanted to meet her without Lexa’s protection.

But to her inner horror the other girl’s response was instant “To my queen” she said watching the younger girl with calculating eyes for her expression.

Marie sucked in a harsh breath starting to shake from more than just the cold still clinging uncomfortably to her skin.

Ontari snorted under her breath at the girl’s obvious fear almost rejoicing in it, but Marie noted with a frown how the older girl seemed to sway needing to shoot out a hand against a wall to hold herself up. The girl’s other hand pressed against her side her features twisting with obvious pain and when she let go Marie could see the blood coating her fingers.

“You are bleeding” Marie stated the obvious a tinge of worry in her voice. They must have been gone from Polis for hours and if the other girl was still bleeding the wound must have been pretty deep. But she also recognized that she might be able to slip away if the nightblood fell unconscious.

Ontari just mutely glared at her with a sneer on her features. The older girl took a dagger from a holster holding it to the fire.

While she waited for the blade to heat up to seal the wound shut Marie could see Ontari shrugging out of her armour and lifting her shirt.

The shirt was black as well so it was impossible to judge if it was drenched in blood or not but judging from the relatively strong trickle of blood running down her side Marie guessed she must have lost a lot of blood already. The wound did not look really long but was probably a stab wound from another dagger.

“Ontari!” Marie suddenly exclaimed in a high pitched voice as the older girl fell over obviously truly losing consciousness.

There was no response but Marie noted that the girl had been lucky and just lay beside the fire and not like Marie had thought falling into the fire.

When the older girl did not move at all for a few moments Marie let out a shuddering breath. She needed to get rid of the bindings on her hands.

She had seen Ontari lay down a sword within a scabbard with her armour. Cautiously Marie struggled to stand up, her legs felt almost numb out of a mixture of pure exhaustion and being exposed to the cold for a prolonged time without sufficient clothing.

Marie kept an eye on Ontari to be sure the girl did not suddenly wake up again, but all she could see was that the black blood slowly oozing from her wound formed a small puddle beneath her on the ground.

Carefully Marie crouched down above the sword fumbling blindly to get it out of the scabbard proofed harder than she had anticipated with hands bound on her back. It seemed to take her a long time to finally get the sword out its scabbard and Marie could not help shooting glances at Ontari’s form every few seconds to be sure she would not suddenly spring up again.

Marie later had no idea how she had managed to cut the bindings, but she did manage. In addition she also cut into the flesh above the bindings prompting a pained hiss from her mouth before she got the angle correct. When she finally had her hands freed Marie cautiously inspected her wrists. Her hands and arms immediately started to tingle uncomfortably once the blood could circulate normally again and she noticed with a slight horror that she already had rubbed her skin raw beneath the coarse rope.

Quickly checking once again that the older nightblood was still unconscious Marie took the sword and slung the scabbard across her chest before she followed her instincts and did what they told: “RUN!”


	101. Chapter 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 100  
> Lexa and Anya notice Marie missing from Polis. The Skykru delegation arrives in Polis so that Anya leaves alone to search for Marie. Marie recognizes her abductor as Ontari. They are in a cave when Ontari falls unconscious giving Marie the opportunity to flee.

Chapter 101

Marie exited the cave in a sprint running without any real direction just with the purpose of getting as much distance between her and the hopefully still unconscious Ontari. Her heart was hammering strongly in her chest and blood rushed loudly in her ears.

After a few minutes Marie slowed down, she was not used to this icy temperature and the cold air left a burning pain in her lungs making it nearly impossible to take another breath. With wide eyes and a sinking heart she looked around herself taking in the surroundings for the first time since running from the cave.

It was snowing pretty heavily now and the white puffy snowflakes were wiped around her in a strong breeze. The air bit at her skin trough the thin material of the shirt and Marie now felt herself shivering again and she slung her arms around her body in a futile attempt to get warmer her left shoulder promptly reminding her harshly of the injury.

Looking around Marie realized forlornly that she had absolutely no idea where she was. There was nothing that gave her any clue, all the ground being covered in white even snow. She had run from what appeared to be mountains and the hills were covered in thick snow and now she was surrounded by spars trees, but the trees were too seldom to be part of any wood she had already seen.

With every step Marie took in the opposite direction of the cave the nagging voice in her head got louder. She had basically just left Ontari to die and she had absolutely no idea where she was. It was slowly getting dark around her the light of the day fading as the sun set and following an inner impulse she whirled around again and sped up back in the direction of the cave she had just fled from not permitting herself to second-guess her spontaneous decision.

What if Ontari had bled out already in the cave? How was she supposed to ever find her way back to Polis? With all the snow she had no idea if Anya or Lexa would be able to locate her without any tracks to follow. While another voice in her head mused if her mentors were searching for her at all yet?

Something Titus had said to her when he actually told her something about what being a flamekeeper entailed echoed in her mind. The man had said that the duty of a flamekeeper mostly consisted of protecting the commander and the nightbloods as they all were potentially a future commander.

Making a final decision Marie hurried back to the cave but she kept the sword in a tight knuckled grip once she reached it, for a moment she had actually feared she had already gotten lost when she did not find the opening immediately.

The fire inside was still blazing and Ontari was still lying in the same position she had been in when Marie had fled. Marie’s breathing quickened when she noticed how the black puddle of blood had increased in size.

Marie cautiously crouched down next to Ontari’s form and with suddenly shaking fingers Marie touched the older girl’s neck desperately searching for a pulse. She let out a shuddering breath of relieve when she did find one after a long moment.

After another deep breath Marie laid down the sword next to the fire and pushed up Ontari’s shirt exposing the still slightly bleeding wound. To Marie it seemed as if the bleeding had slowed but if it was because it actually got slower or just because the other girl might be nearly out of blood, Marie had no idea.

Marie turned her eyes on the fire for a moment contemplating on what to do. She had no idea how to really care for such a wound and she desperately tried to remember how Clarke had treated Jasper and what Nyko and Alira had done to the wounded warriors in TonDC.

Marie shortly tried to call her power forth and heal the wound that way but when nothing felt changed a few seconds later she stopped her efforts immediately remembering what had happened after she had tried too hard to heal Clarke. If she fell unconscious now as well Marie was certain they would both simply freeze to death in this cave and she doubted their bodies would ever be found.

It was obvious Ontari had planned to simply burn the wound shut but Marie had no idea if that was actually the right thing to do or not. But without any bandages to wrap around the wound or something to stitch the wound close, not that she would have known how to anyway, Marie carefully took the brightly gleaming blade from the fire with violently shaking fingers. Even the handle had heated up after the time the blade had been placed into the fire and Marie gritted her teeth against the burning in her fingers.

She took a few steadying breath looking at Ontari’s face again intently before she swallowed down the huge lump lodged into her throat and pushed the blade on what she dearly hoped was the centre of the wound.

Once the gleaming blade came into contact with the other girl’s flesh the churning smell of scorched skin filled the air making Marie’s stomach role uncomfortably bile rising in her throat at the stench.

What worried Marie slightly was that Ontari did not wake up, in fact the girl did not seem to even twitch. She remembered how one of the warriors she had watched being treated in the same way regained consciousness during the act of burning a wound shut. She imagined that this would cause immense pain to someone and that waking up was the only natural normal reaction.

She had no idea how long she needed to keep the dagger against the older girl’s skin but when the strong gleaming seemed to dim, she hesitantly took the blade away letting it fall to the ground with a clattering sound echoing strongly against the stone walls of the cave. Her breathing was elated and her eyes wide with horror as she stared down at the older girl lying motionless on the ground.

The skin was blistered strongly but as it was still smeared over and over with the black blood Marie could not really make out if she had managed to stop the bleeding or not.

Furrowing her brow Marie stood up and searched through what had been left in the cave by whoever had used it before. She found some sort of bowl and strode out of the cave. She thought that snow was just frozen water so it should turn back into water as well, so she gathered snow in the bowl. She needed to clear some of the dark blood away and she knew that keeping a wound clean was the most important or an infection would set in and those were deadly without medicine.

Marie set the bowl filled with a pile of snow close to the fire and could literally watch it melt to water. The girl held her fingers closer to the burning fire to warm them back up. Anya had been right, snow was not nice, it was just freezing cold and so wet, Marie thought with a pout.

When all the snow had melted to water Marie furrowed her brow, she had no washcloth or anything available. Huffing slightly Marie tried to rip a piece from her shirt in doing so she twisted her back and hissed in pain when she moved her left shoulder as well.

Once she had succeeded in getting a large enough piece of fabric ripped from her shirt she dumbed it into the bowl and crouched down next to Ontari again. With the wetted cloth Marie started to clean some of the blood away, she was careful with how much pressure she applied to the burned area. To her dismay the water turned too dirty to use after only a few rinses and the older girl’s back was still covered in a lot of black blood.

With a resigned sigh Marie stood up and went out to replace the now black tinted water with a fresh bout of snow. She had to repeat the procedure several times until she had finally cleaned Ontari’s back well enough to see the skin clearly.

She let out a relieved breath when she saw that she had managed to successfully close the wound. The skin looked heavily blistered but there was no new black blood.

Marie pushed the girl’s shirt up a bit more checking if there were other wounds which needed to be cleaned. Her grey eyes widened in shock when she looked down at the exposed skin finding it littered with thick scars.

But it did not seem to be kill marks either. With a sinking feeling Marie thought that the scars looked as if the older girl had been repeatedly been hit with a whip.

Marie carefully lowered Ontari’s shirt back down again feeling at her neck and fortunately finding a pulse again.

Her stomach rumbled loudly protesting at not being fed since morning. Marie frowned, she doubted she would be able to find anything edible in the snow. But she remembered that drinking was even more important than eating so she went out again bringing more snow in to melt.

Once the snow had melted she first turned Ontari on her back which proofed to be harder than she had thought, the older girl certainly was heavier than her short stature eluded. With careful fingers Marie opened the older girl’s mouth and tiled her head back, luckily her swallowing reflex still seemed to work so Marie made her drink the whole bowl before she lowered her head back down and went out to gather more snow for herself.

After she had drank her own fill Marie put a few more logs onto the fire as she thought it was already starting to burn down and she was not sure she would be able to start it again if it went out completely.

With nothing else to do Marie huddled down closely to the fire. The ground beneath her was hard and uncomfortable and her stomach still grumbled angrily. The proximity to the fire chased away the coldness from her skin leaving it feeling almost feverish. She wound the uninjured arm around her upper body as if hugging herself when all she wanted right now was to feel Anya’s or Lexa’s arms around her and soundlessly she cried. She had no idea what would happen now or how she would survive the next day and she felt so utterly alone again that she started to cry harder.

Marie was jostled awake by a groan sounding close to her. She had not even recognized that she had dozed off in the first place. When she opened her grey eyes she immediately saw that Ontari was in the process of waking up. The older girl’s face was twisted and she sort of writhed on the hard ground.

Marie held her breath in anticipation of what would happen. When the older girl had still not opened her eyes after a few moments Marie had the frightening thought that she could be suffering from a fever already.

She got up from the ground with difficulties feeling her whole body hurting all over. Slowly Marie inched closer to Ontari and carefully she placed a hand on her forehead but with a relieved breath she did not find the skin overly heated.

Not knowing what to do and finding the suspense of waiting unbearable right now Marie left the cage again with the bowl in hand to gather some new snow. To stay out a little longer she already melted some snow in her hands and directly drank it. But the biting cold of the night forced her back into the cave rather quickly.

When she entered Marie froze in her step right in the entrance. Ontari had obviously woken up now for real and the girl already was in a sitting position next to the fire.

Her black eyes seemed to burn into her own when they made eye contact and Marie cautiously showed the bowl to her “I brought some snow to drink” Marie offered into the tense silence.

Ontari’s eyes widened in disbelief at her and Marie tried not to squirm under her scrutinizing glare. She cautiously bent down and placed the bowl on the ground between them being sure to remain just out of reach.

Marie kept her eyes on Ontari while the other girl did the same before she did reach for the bowl and drank a sip. She could see her dark eyes land on the dagger she had carelessly let fall to the ground a few hours ago.

“You have stayed and took care of my wound?” the older girl asked after what felt like an eternity of silence.

Marie could read absolutely nothing in Ontari’s voice or face but she nodded immediately and watched a frown settle on the other girl’s face.

It was obvious her decision to stay and help the older girl was something she could not understand. “Why did you stay?” Ontari asked after another long silence.

Marie slightly tilted her head before she admitted “I came back”.

Ontari raised an eyebrow in question but she still made no attempt to get up from the ground so Marie relaxed slightly.

“I had run for some time” she explained intently watching Ontari’s face “But I have no idea where we are. And you were bleeding, strongly. For a moment I thought you were already dead …” Her voice trailed off and she swallowed strongly at the lump which had formed in her throat again remembering  what seemed to be a huge puddle of blood on the ground and the unmoving body of Ontari.

Ontari looked back at the young blonde girl keeping her expression unreadable. She had no idea what to make of her. It astounded her deeply that the girl had come back and tried to heal her. Begrudgingly she had to admit that the girl had saved her life, she had lost too much blood already and doubted she would have woken again without aid. Ontari could not understand why the younger blonde had truly chosen to help her, if the roles had been reversed she knew that she would have taken the blade and slide her abductor’s throat just to be sure, healing your abductor would not have even crossed her mind for a second.

The reports the queen had received regarding Wanheda and the commander’s new second had not been elaborate. She had heard that all Trikru who had met the young girl seemed to have a respect and liking for her and that she possessed certain talents with weapons but nothing more was said.

Ontari was aware of what her queen would most certainly do with the girl if she delivered her to their camp. She would be leading her to her certain death but another idea came up in Ontari’s mind. The girl was being trained as the commander’s second so why should she not become her own second once she had risen on the throne. By saving her life Marie had unknowingly created a debt between them. In a narrow sense Ontari was still following her queen’s orders, she had not succeeded in taking out the other nightbloods or the commander and they had never discussed the possibility of taking the commander’s second hostage. She had not known at first who had been so close to finding her where she had hid in the stables, but the girl’s blond hair and the red bands interwoven into them made it obvious who she was, so Ontari had struck.

Straining her neck to look out of the entrance of the cave Ontari could make out that it was still dark. She knew these lands well but she would still not chose to travel in darkness if it was not absolutely necessary. It angered her that she had lost control of the young horse and they would now need to travel by foot.

Ontari watched how the young blonde girl sank down leaning against the wall of the cave as far away from herself as possible. She slowly turned onto her side watching the younger girl over the dancing flames as silence settled heavily between them.

It did not take long for Marie to doze off again huddled uncomfortably against the cave wall. When the girl slumped against the wall Ontari got a clear view of the girl’s shirt and just now saw that it was ripped severely and a huge piece of fabric was missing from it exposing some of her pale skin to the cold air.

With a frown on her face Ontari spotted the missing fabric from Marie’s shirt bunched together and wet on the ground next to herself. When she recognized the traces of black blood on the piece of cloth Ontari carefully lifted her own shirt and found her skin cleaned of almost all blood. Her thoughts kept on circling on the question why the girl had even bothered to help her at all and now seeing that she had also carefully cleaned her whole back astounded her even more.

She could hear the other girl’s stomach rumbling loudly probably from hunger, her own stomach reminded her of its state as well, but she was so used to occasional hunger that she barely acknowledged the feeling at all.

Ontari stayed awake watching the younger girl over the flames as Marie begun whimpering lowly in her sleep. She waited for the girl to quiet down again but the sounds of distress coming from her only increased.

Marie woke up with a start breathing heavy and tears streaming down her cheeks as images from her nightmare still flashed up in front of her eyes. In her dream it had not been Ontari’s black blood she had washed away, it had been Lexa’s and the commander had gotten paler and paler until her skin had gotten as cold as the snow and Marie had been unable to help her.

When she met Ontari’s dark gaze Marie looked away immediately and wiped the tears from her face huddling closer to the wall again desperately wishing herself out of this situation and back into the tower of Polis.

“You have cleaned my wound” Ontari’s voice interrupted Marie’s musings calling her back into the harsh reality.

Marie nodded “Dirty wounds get infected and infections are deadly” she simply explained looking shortly at the older girl again.

“You should get closer to the fire” Ontari offered noticing how the girl was shivering strongly still.

Marie looked at her with wide grey eyes intently searching her face for something and Ontari kept perfectly still until Marie seemed to come to a decision and carefully inched closer to the fire and the warmth it provided.

With the light now dancing over her face Ontari noticed the tear tracks on her young face making her look even younger. Her grey eyes were focused on the flames dancing in front of her seemingly ignoring Ontari’s presence all together.

When Ontari was sure the younger girl had fallen asleep again she carefully hauled herself from the ground grinding her teeth together and reigning in a hiss of pain. As helpful as the girl had been in bringing them water, they needed something more substantial than that.

Being used to the snow it did not take Ontari long to find a rabbit. It was not a big one, but it would suffice for both of them for the night. Ontari was sceptical leaving the girl alone had been a good idea but pulling her behind her to hunt would only make it so much more difficult.


	102. Chapter 102

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 101  
> Marie gets the chance to flee but she returns and tries to save Ontari’s life, when the older girl’s wakes she is confused why Marie stayed and helped her.

Chapter 102

When Ontari returned to the cave and could not spot the blonde girl immediately she internally cursed herself a fool until she did spot the smaller body so close to the fire she judged the girl could already be burning herself.

When Marie woke up again feeling even more tired than before her senses caught the scent of freshly roasted meat. She stretched herself immediately regretting the motion at the blinding pain shouting through her left side and she could not contain an involuntary hiss of pain.

Ontari looked at the younger girl with a frown on her features. She had already noticed the girl’s pained hisses when she had pulled her along after the horse had thrown both of them off. She thought the girl had just been sensitive and whiny but it seemed she truly had gotten injured.

The rabbit was nearly ready to be eaten and Ontari kept a close eye on it making sure not to burn the little meat it had actually contained.

Marie watched the older girl tending to whatever she had obviously hunted and she wondered that she had not even noticed her leaving and returning. But she had nowhere to run to anyway so she doubted she would have left again if she had noticed her leaving.

“Take some” Ontari offered in what she hoped was a kind tone, when the younger girl visibly hesitated she rolled her eyes “It is not poisoned”.

Marie’s eyes widened almost comically fearing she might have offended her and carefully took a leg from the rabbit. Once she took the first bite her stomach rumbled even louder and Marie bolted down the meat in a few moments.

It was still dark outside so they would not be leaving yet. Ontari could not shake one question from her mind “What has the commander planned for me?” she directly asked the younger girl.

Marie blinked a moment before she swallowed down the last piece of meat Ontari had given her “I don’t know” she answered honestly as Lexa had not sounded decisive on the matter.

Ontari raised a critical eyebrow “What was said then?” she rephrased her question. She did not know if the younger girl would be lying to her or not.

Marie shrugged her uninjured shoulder “I did not understand all of it” she settled on saying.

Ontari huffed obviously annoyed with the dissatisfying answer. Her instincts told her simply to force the younger girl to say what she wanted to know but something was holding her back from using force against the girl.

“Lexa wanted to have you trained in Polis with the other nightbloods” Marie finally said relenting under the scrutinizing gaze.

Ontari’s face showed the puzzlement she must be feeling. She had expected the Trikru commander to immediately call for her death and it went against anything she had been taught to even contemplate believing the girl’s words. But something in her grey eyes told Ontari that she had spoken the truth and she internally wondered why the girl had given up any information at all willingly.

“What happens now?” Marie asked her voice barely above a whisper fear clearly written on her young features.

Ontari looked into the flames for a silent moment, a few hours ago her answer would have been instant, right now she was wavering and she had no explanation why.

“Tell me something about the commander?” Ontari prompted Marie evading the previous question.

Marie slightly tilted her head to the side in confusion “That is a very general question. What do you want to know about Lexa?”

It did not evade Ontari’s attention how the girl immediately used the commander’s name backing up the rumours that the girl was obviously pretty close to the Trikru commander.

“Whatever comes to your mind” Ontari mindlessly said. She doubted the young girl would know what to say and which information to keep to herself.

Marie still frowned but her features scrunched up in thought for a moment before she said “She is kind and just. She is much more patient than Anya”.

Ontari nodded along. All she had ever heard was how Lexa kom Trikru had forced the clans into submission at the same age she was now. She had heard from her ruthlessness and how she favoured her own clan keeping Ice Nation as small and meagre as possible holding onto the grudge running between both clans for long years.

Sadness settled into the girl’s grey eyes thinking about Lexa and Anya just brought the loneliness she was still feeling to the forefront of her mind painfully. “Can’t you bring me back?” the girl’s question was voiced with such naïve expressive eyes that Ontari first had just wanted to laugh outright at the girl’s stupidity but instead she had just returned her focus back onto the flames.

“Sleep” she ordered her voice harsher again. It would not be long now for the night to end. Ontari stayed awake beside the fire caught in deep thoughts trying desperately to come to a decision.

Marie woke to the sound of steel clashing against steel and she whirled into a seated position ignoring the painful movement to her shoulder.

“Anya!” Marie immediately let out relieve clear on her face when she recognized the figure fighting against Ontari.

It was clear that Ontari was barely holding her strength against the general’s sword.

Anya’s brown eyes snapped to Marie for a second a flash of relieve at seeing her charge alive visible in them.

With one quick attack Anya simultaneously disarmed Ontari and knocked her out cold with the pommel of her sword against her temple.

A moment later Marie hurled herself into Anya’s arms almost nocking the woman over with the force of impact. The girl immediately started to cry once she felt Anya tighten her arms around her.

“Ssshhh” Anya soothed the girl gently stroking her blonde hair. The general had already been sure that they would not find the Ice Nation nightblood before she could reach her queen and she had no words for the endless relieve now coursing through her veins.

Marie hissed slightly when she loosened her arms around Anya’s midriff and her brown worried eyes instantly searched the girl for injuries.

“I hurt my shoulder. I think we fell from the horse” Marie explained while Anya inspected the cut the girl had on her forearm.

Three other warriors had accompanied the general in her search and one bent down tying the unconscious girl up.

“She has a wound on her side” Marie said to Anya watching how Ontari was tied up with what appeared to be honest worry for her in her grey eyes.

Anya frowned down at the girl, every fibre of her being wanted nothing more than to simply slit the girl’s throat and be done with her but she was still a nightblood and it was Lexa’s place to decide what was to happen to her. They had stumbled upon the cave by pure chance. She had pushed Ryder and the other two through a starting snow storm and had just seen reason that they did not have any actual tracks to follow when the storm had picked up, forcing them to seek cover, which just happened to be within this cave.

Anya’s eyes fell on the cut bindings on the ground “She cut you lose?” she asked doubt clear in her tone.

Marie shook her head suddenly feeling guilty “I did, when she was unconscious”.

The general’s eyebrows rose in surprise and her eyes narrowed almost angrily when she got what the girl was implying and her tone was harsh when she clarified “You could have gotten away?!” her voice rose as she finished her question.

Marie flinched slightly at the tone and the anger clearly visibly on her mentor’s face “I … I …” she stuttered feeling tears rising again in her grey eyes “I had no … no idea …. where I was and it was so … so cold. And I did … did not know what to do … and she … she was … was dying” Marie forced out through sobs.  “I am sorry” the girl ended crying in earnest now.

Anya shook her head immediately her features softer again. The logical side of her mind had to recognize that Marie running away in the dead of the night would have probably have brought her into even more danger. She would have known how to find shelter and how to find her way back to Polis, but of course Marie did not possess this abilities yet. That the girl had even attempted to save Ontari’s life once again emphasised just how differently Marie’s mind worked.

“Hush, it is alright” Anya reassured keeping her tone calm and gentle as she whipped tears from the girl’s face “You are save now”.

Marie nodded her expression still miserable and she seemed to try to figure out if Anya would accept another hug seemingly needy of the closeness right now, so Anya just pulled the girl’s smaller body into hers. She was careful not to jostle the shoulder of the girl, a healer could take a look at it once they returned to Polis.

“We will stay until the storm clears” Anya proclaimed to her companions which had all now entered the cave as well. The cave was rather small for all of them but to Marie’s great silent joy the warriors had all packed a variety of furs on their horses.

Marie seemed unwilling to let go of Anya for even a single moment so Ryder laid out furs for both of them with the corners of his lips tilting up into a smile.

“You need to let go off me for a second, Marie” Anya addressed the girl her voice carrying an amused hint.

“No” the girl shook her head only tightening her grip around the woman’s body completely ignoring her shoulders painful protest at the movement and preferring to just be close to Anya and her comforting scent.

Marie could hear Anya smirk under her breath and the general awkwardly manoeuvred both of them down to lay down on the furs. It was not the most comfortable position for Anya but the girl seemed to have settled rather happily with as much contact to Anya’s body as physically possible and Anya did not have it in her heart to force the girl to move so that her elbows would stop digging into her stomach so uncomfortably.

After a few long moments where Anya had already been sure that the girl had fallen asleep in her arms Marie suddenly looked up again. Her grey eyes landed on Ontari’s still unconscious form. The warriors had moved the girl’s body farer away from the fire to make more room for themselves and Marie thought she could see a slight shiver raking through the older girl’s body.

“Don’t we have a fur for her?” Marie asked her voice and eyes brimming with compassion.

Anya met the girl’s gaze for a moment sighing under her breath before she smiled slightly at her and signalled to one of the warriors to cover the nightblood girl as well, it would not do for her to freeze before they brought her back to Polis. The smile Marie gave her in response was worth it anyway.

Anya stroked the girl’s blonde hair a long time even after she had felt the girl’s body relax and her breathing evening out as she fell asleep peacefully. She had no incline how the girl could still be full of so much compassion for everyone around her no matter if friend or foe. She hoped that the storm would be gone in the morning as they had a few hours of ride ahead of them to reach Polis and she could imagine the turmoil and mental torture Lexa was living through right now. 

Marie woke only a few short hours later to Anya gently shaking her. She blinked her grey eyes open still heavy from sleep but she smiled up at Anya’s familiar features immediately happy that she had not just imagined her mentor coming for her.

Gratefully Marie accepted the bunch of clothes Anya had packed in her saddleback for the girl including a warmer shirt and her coat, a shawl and gloves. Once the girl had dressed herself again Anya took the dagger she still had out of her own coat and gave it back to Marie. The girl’s hair looked slightly untamed right now but Anya would not waste the time to re-do the braids at the moment.

Marie looked over to Ontari and spotted the older girl watching her in return. A dark bruise had formed over her temple where Anya had knocked her out the last night but otherwise she seemed to be fine. Marie met her dark eyed stare before Anya addressed her “How have you met her?” the general wanted know having picked up on the silent gaze exchange.

“I was at the stables with …” but Marie suddenly bit her tongue fervently searching for word without giving up Boo’s involvement.

Anya narrowed her eyes anger flashing up in them momentarily “We already know about Boo”. Now that the relief at having found the girl reasonably unharmed had settled over night the anger at her leaving the tower in the first place had resurfaced in the general’s mind.

Marie looked up at the woman with huge grey eyes biting at her lip guiltily still feeling Anya’s probing gaze on her she relented and said “I saw dark blood in the straw and went to look, if I could help…” her voice trailed off and she looked down at her feet.

Anya ground her teeth together angrily before she seethed “And you did not think for one second to notify a guard beforehand?!” her voice had slightly raised at the end.

Marie’s eyes snapped up at her for a moment before she let her head drop looking down again and shook her head, the girl’s whole poise screamed of guilt but Anya was still slightly too angry to care for the girl’s distress at the very moment. To her it seemed as if their charge had no idea just how close to her own death she had come the previous day and all because the girl had disobeyed a clear order and put herself into foolish danger.

“You certainly make keeping you safe a hard task” Anya reprimanded. “Use this damn head of yours to think the next time before rushing alone into danger, foolish girl!” the general snapped her frustration at the girl.

Marie could only nod at the stern reproof from her mentor knowing that is was warranted but she still had to try to reign in the tears that wanted to escape her eyes at the obvious disappointment in Anya’s voice.

Anya’s rant was cut short when one of the warriors came back into the cave “The storm has cleared. We can travel now”.

The general curtly nodded at him. The few things they had used over the night were packed up in the matter of a few minutes. Marie was silent the whole time shadowing Anya closely but not daring to speak up unwilling to prompt another reprimand from the woman.

Ontari was dragged out of the cave not even attempting to fight back at the moment, there was no way she would be able to flee from four warriors with the way she was in restraint. Her arms being pulled tightly on her back pulled uncomfortably at the stabbing wound on her side and she barely had any feeling left in her arms after all the time they were already bound. She had watched the exchange between the general and the blonde girl with interest. It was clear they cared for each other deeply. The girl seemed to crave the physical closeness to the general as if separating from her even for a moment would hurt her physically. The way the general had reprimanded the girl spoke of deep worry and Ontari internally mused how her own welcome would have been by the queen if she had done something like that. With a frown she imagined her own welcome and knew that it would have probably left her bruised and bleeding and not foolish enough to repeat the same mistake. She could not remember anyone holding her through the night the way the general had done it for the young girl. She imagined her mother doing it for her, but she had been so young when she had been taken from her parents to the queen that she barely remembered how they had looked like at all.

Marie happily greeted Anya’s horse once they stepped out of the cave. Her grey eyes scanned over the surroundings of the cave. It had snowed through the whole night leaving the ground covered in a thick soft layer of snow which was glinting in the morning sun. The few sparse trees she could see were also covered in a mixture of snow and ice glittering like diamonds in the sun rays.

“It looks much nicer than it feels like” Marie commented catching Anya’s brown eyes with a slight smile returning to her face before she frowned “But why does it have to be so cold and wet?”

Anya snorted at the girl’s question “So you have already lost your appreciation of snow then?” The general quickly hoisted Marie up onto the front of the saddle mounting up behind the girl with practised ease.

Marie looked indecisive “It still looks beautiful” she settled on with a pout in her voice and let herself relax slightly into Anya’s strong body behind her feeling the woman’s arms wrap around her securing her in place immediately.

The girl watched how Ontari was hoisted on a horse in front of one of the warriors she did not know the name of. She doubted the other girl would be comfortable but she knew that Anya and the others would never agree to get the bindings off and she also did not know if Ontari would try to flee, or if she even had a reason to.

“What will happen to Ontari now?” Marie questioned with worry in her voice that was not lost on Anya.

The general shook her head “That is for Lexa to decide” her tone was short signalling that she would not say more on the matter. Anya knew what she would decide if it was her decision. In her opinion it was still saver to just get rid of the Ice Nation nightblood than wait for disaster to strike later but Lexa would be the one to have the final say.

When Marie yawned a few moments later Anya smirked slightly pulling the girl more closely to her body and said in a gentle tone her brown eyes soft again “Rest, Marie, you are save now”.


	103. Chapter 103

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go with another chapter.  
> Thanks again for the comments and kudos =)   
> I hope you like it. I did some heavy editing before posting it and I am still not satisfied with the outcome...
> 
> Previously in chapter 102  
> Ontari shares her hunt with Marie and they talk about Lexa. During the night Anya and her warriors reach the cave and overpower Ontari immediately. Marie is relieved to see the general again and clings to her through the night. In the morning the storm has cleared and they can return to Polis taking Ontari with them as a prisoner.

Chapter 103

Fortunately for all of them it did not snow again on this day so that the group was able to travel without any disturbances. Halfway on their way back to Polis they met a few scouts Lexa had obviously ordered to follow them in case they would need back up. Anya quickly sent the fastest rider of them back ahead towards Polis with a message for Lexa only proclaiming that they had found Marie and the suspected abductor. The general had been careful in her wording in case Ice Nation soldiers would intercept the messenger and try to rescue their nightblood, she doubted that queen Nia would have been pleased to hear that her best shot at taking over the coalition had been captured.

Marie had woken up some time later in their journey but the girl kept quiet as if caught deeply in her thoughts leaning back heavily against Anya’s body. Anya was satisfied with continuing their travel in silence all too aware of the ears listening in to their very words and the dark eyes constantly watching Marie and her.

Once they were only about an hour ride away from Polis Marie started to ask how far away they still were, it was obvious the girl did not yet recognize any of their surroundings. Anya internally noted that she and Lexa direly needed to show Marie more of the bordering lands to Polis and she was grateful the girl had not chosen to try to run away on her own or she doubted they would have found more of her than her frozen corpse, that is if they would have found her at all.

She reassured Marie that it would not be long now until they reached Polis and started pointing out certain distinct landmarks to the girl to remember. They looked different now as they were covered in snow but the girl would still need to be able to recognize them in any weather condition even in darkness, exhausted and under stress, it may very well save her life sometime in the future.

When the tower of Polis was distinctly visible on the horizon Marie seemed to be attentive again finally recognizing for herself that they had nearly reached their destination. The girl had a scratching throat and her eyes were slightly bloodshot and Anya guessed with a flash of irritation that their charge was already well on the way to develop a sickness after the long exposure to the cold without sufficient clothing. An impending sickness would explain the girl’s overt clinginess as well.

The gates to Polis were already opened to them when they finally approached the walls of the city. Gustus and a small group of other warriors were already waiting for them. Lexa was not among the group but Anya had not expected her to be. The commander was bound to be occupied with Skykru and the ambassadors, keeping the opposing groups from killing each other. Marie obviously had expected Lexa to be there and her disappointment at not finding the woman was apparent in her dropping shoulders and the frown settling on her young face.

Gustus stepped up to Anya’s brown steed and nodded to the general in greeting holding the mount steady so they could dismount and when he noticed Marie’s reaction the burly man looked at the girl with kind eyes “Heda is busy with a meeting between the ambassadors” he informed them and Marie nodded her expression still crestfallen so he added in a lower tone “Lexa was relieved to hear of your impending arrival. You will see her soon, Marie”.

The girl smiled slightly at the man and remembered why he had been absent from the city the few past days and she asked emphatically “Is your wife better?”

A shadow passed over Gustus’ strong features when he said “She passed away with the last moon”.

“Oh” Marie said her grey eyes glittering with compassion “I am …” she started to say, but Gustus squeezed the girl’s hands before helping her from the horse and by thus silencing her words.

Marie’s left shoulder gave a painful jolt at the movement and she hissed clenching her teeth while she flinched away from the man’s strong hands.

Ontari was also pulled from the horse and given over to the harsh hands of another guard who would directly bring her into a cell in the dungeons of the tower. Marie watched on silently how the older girl was dragged of.

“Come” Anya said putting a hand on the girl’s uninjured shoulder and pulling her out of her thoughts. Marie immediately looked up at her mentor and nodded falling into step beside the general.

It did not take them long to reach the tower but when they finally did people seemed to stay away from the base of the tower.

Marie furrowed her brow until she spotted two guards carrying away a man who seemed to be dead and the place he had lain in was covered in blood streaks.

Anya had also noticed the corpse and recognized him as a member of the Ice Nation delegation “About time” she commented with a sneer on her lips.

Marie cocked her head slightly in confusion “Why do all the people walk so far from the walls of the tower now?”

“Heda has kicked him out of the throne room” Gustus explained in a nonchalant voice.

The girl’s grey eyes widened almost comically and her mouth fell open looking from the blood strain on the ground up to the top of the tower which was barely visible from the ground trying to figure out if the man had spoken the truth or if that simply was a weird kind of joke she did not understand.

“He had been testing Heda’s short patience the whole day yesterday” Gustus added and he had wanted to say more when a young warrior approached them with quick strides addressing Anya in rapid Trigedasleng in a hushed tone.

Marie who had still been preoccupied with her thoughts had not understood what the warrior had just said but Anya cursed under her breath before she turned to Gustus and promptly ordered “Bring her to her new quarters and she is to stay there” her voice was laced with urgency and without another word of explanation Anya hurried to the stairs already vanishing from view after a few seconds.

Marie watched the woman disappear now absolutely confused. Why did she have new quarters? Her confusion only mounted when Gustus did not lead her to the elevator but rather to the stairs but she mutely followed the burly guard who also seemed to be frowning and cast suspicious eyes at anyone they were passing a hand on the pommel of his sword.

“Stay inside” the man ordered her his voice sharp once they reached a door. He opened the door and once Marie had stepped inside the door promptly fell shut behind her leaving her utterly alone in the unfamiliar room. “Keep the door guarded. No one is to enter and she is not to leave” she heard Gustus’ voice ordering probably some guards through the closed door.

Marie turned around with a frown and then inspected the room. Her frown only grew more intense, the room was bare except a single bed, a small table and a stool and the small window was covered with heavy bars. The small room strongly reminded her of the room Roan had resided in and with a heavy heart Marie mused if she was a prisoner here now as well.

She had of course noticed that Anya was disappointed and even slightly angry with her for leaving the tower, but the woman had not given her the impression that it was something unforgivable. But what if Lexa had decided otherwise? She knew that between the two women Lexa was bound to have the final say in every decision as the commander. If inspected closely she knew she had sort of disregarded a direct order from the commander.

With tears rising in her grey eyes Marie slowly set on the lumpy mattress of the small bed pulling one knee up and hugging it to her chest with her good arm.

Marie had cried herself into an almost hysterical state an undefined time later when the door was opened again from the outside. Her grey eyes instantly snapped up, tears running from her eyes with her face and eyes flushed from crying, but she deflated quickly when it was neither Anya nor Lexa but a woman she did not know at the door.

The woman frowned at the girl’s state. “I am Daria” she introduced herself to the commander’s second “A healer in the tower” she added as explanation. The general had sent her there to look after the young girl telling her she had an injured shoulder and seemed to be coming down with a sickness.

What Marie did not know was that an assassin had managed to reach the top level of the tower and had murdered the guards posted there. But the assassin had obviously not been aware of the heightened security in the tower and had been overpowered by the next shift of guards.

That was what Anya had been told once they had entered the tower and she had been called up immediately to inspect the assassin and making a swap of the whole tower making sure that no other assassins had managed to slip in undetected, so the top levels of the tower up to the level which housed the conclave were closed off at the moment calling all available guards to keep the conclave and the commander save.

Lexa had also gotten the news just a few moments earlier and in reaction had kicked one member from the Azgeda delegation from the balcony. The tense silence that followed could have been cut with a sword and no one seemed to dare to even breathe too loudly in fear of following the man’s fate. She called an abrupt halt to the meeting once another guard relied the message from her general that Ontari had been brought into a cell in the dungeons. The ambassadors seemed to scurry from the room in fright relieved to be out of the presence of the impatient commander. She was internally grateful that the Skykru delegation had not been invited to this particular meeting but she was sure they would hear of what had occurred nevertheless.

Before going to the dungeons Lexa joined Anya and a group of warriors on her own floor. The corpses of the warriors who had been murdered had already been removed and the corpse of the assassin still laid in her own chambers having bled out on a rug. No markings or tattoos had been found on the woman’s corpse and the weapons seemed to come out of Polis making it impossible to figure out which clan had sent her.

“Marie?” Lexa quickly checked with Anya still slightly worried for the girl as she had not yet seen her well and alive for herself.

“In a guarded room on a save floor” Anya answered and after Lexa’s nod the corpse of the assassin were removed from her quarters. She called a handmaid to also remove the bloodied rug and dispose of it, there was no use in trying to wash the blood out.

After the healer had left Marie the girl’s mind kept on flashing with memories of the cell she had lived in in the Sky Box and suddenly the old stone walls around her morphed into the cold and sterile metal box and the whispering of the guards turned to the buzzing of the machines in her ear, trapping her further in her agitated mind.

“What do you already know about the Ice Nation nightblood?” Lexa questioned the general on the way to the dungeons. They took the stairs together, in times of lock down in the tower the elevator was regarded as an unnecessary risk prohibiting usage in such situations.

“Not much” Anya huffed “She was wounded when Marie stumbled upon her. Taking her hostage had as it seemed not been planned. Marie cared for her wound and they were waiting in a cave already deep within Ice Nation territory”.

Lexa’s eyes shown with confusion at the mention of the girl caring for the opposing nightblood girl.

Anya nodded picking up Lexa’s way of thinking without the need to hear them voiced “I thought the same, but had Marie run she would probably have frozen to death, being killed by wolfs or just went even deeper into Ice Nation land. She had no idea where they were, she said that was the main reason she returned to the cave”.

Lexa breathed out a frustrated huff of air but she nodded seeing the logic in that. It was no surprise to her that Marie would not have been able to find her way back to Polis on her own and she was sure the girl would not have survived a snow storm without shelter.

The way down from the top floor to the dungeons was long but Lexa appreciated the time it offered her to gather her thoughts back together. The last two days had been too much of a chaos for her liking. She internally cursed the Skykru fools altogether for bringing Charles Pike into her city, the man had been nothing but a disturbance in the meeting with the clans. He had done nothing but act his arrogant and preposterous self, creating even more discontent between the clans and Skykru, saying all the wrong things at the wrong times. The meeting she had just called to a halt had been her desperate try for damage containment but the clans’ calls for war against Skykru had just gotten incredibly louder. The only thing which was hindering the clans’ immediate call to march against the Skykru settlement was that the cold season had started harder and earlier than expected. Which meant for Lexa that she just had the cold season to settle the clans again and make them warm up to the idea of including Skykru, her vision for bringing them into the coalition gliding further out of reach. Markus Kane had shortly spoken with her alone apologizing desperately and repeatedly for Charles Pike but the damage had already been done and no amount of apologies would convince the clans to trust Skykru.

The constant worry if Anya would be successful in retrieving Marie alive together with the realization that the tower again had a security breach had finally made her patience snap so the descent down the stairs gave her the opportunity to calm herself again. She would need to be unbiased when meeting this nightblood. If she gave into her current mood she would simply kill the girl and be done with her.

When they finally reached the dungeons a guard showed Lexa to the cell Ontari was contained in. The nightblood had not been divested of her bindings and had simply been dumped on the straw covered ground before the bars had been closed in front of her.

Lexa strode into the cell glaring down at the girl with an unreadable expression. Ontari was slumped against a wall of the cell and her dark eyes had a glassy look to them. The commander took out a dagger and ignoring the girl’s immediate reaction to scurry out of reach from the blade, her black eyes widening in fright, relieved the girl of her bindings. Lexa judged the girl to be around fifteen summers old and the markings on her face easily identified her as Ice Nation, the rough description Roan had been able to give about the girl matched as well.

The girl stretched out her arms carefully wincing when she moved them and bringing one hand to her right side which came back with her fingers coated in black blood.

Lexa barked out to a guard to send for a healer. It would not do for the girl to die before she could make up her mind about her.

“So you are the one who was sent by the Ice queen to conquer my throne” Lexa finally addressed the girl her green eyes boring down into her.

Ontari visibly jutted her chin out her dark eyes glittering “I was raised for it” she said her voice firm although Lexa still detected a hint of fear in her dark eyes.

Lexa nodded slightly “So are my other nightbloods in Polis. And you must have been too young at the last conclave to be allowed to participate, so what makes you think you are entitled to this throne?”

The commander watched the girl’s reaction closely and it was obvious she had not expected such questions by the short flicker of confusion in her glassy eyes. Her skin had a sheen of sweat to it indicating that the girl was running a fever.

“I was raised to be commander” Ontari repeated although Lexa thought her voice sounded slightly unsure of herself.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the girl unsatisfied with the simple repetition of the answer. She contemplated her next words taxing the girl with a piercing stare but was interrupted by the arrival of a healer.

The commander called guards to them “Bring her into a guarded room. Keep her alive and she is to remain under constant guard” she ordered and turned sweeping from the dungeon.

She climbed the stairs back up together with Anya and she could feel the other woman’s heavy gaze on her but thankfully the general kept her tongue for now. The lock down of the tower would be ended once all levels had been checked at least twice just to be sure no one could remain undetected.

The way to the room Marie was in was short and a healer had just left the room meeting them in the hall. 

Daria immediately nodded to the commander lowering her head respectfully “She needs to go easy on her shoulder for a few days but there is no lasting damage to be expected. The girl seems to develop a sickness. I have given her a tea against the slight fever but with enough rest she should be fine” the woman reported to Lexa and the general nodding again at both of them once she was dismissed.

Both of them were not prepared for the sight of Marie that met them once they entered the small room. The girl lay on the small bed curled into a tight ball and she was obviously crying hard, sobs shacking her small frame heavily.

The girl had not even noticed their entrance yet and both Anya and Lexa bandied worried looks before Lexa carefully approached Marie.

Silently Lexa sat on the edge of the small bed and put a hand on Marie’s shaking shoulder. It instantly made the girl’s grey eyes which were puffy from crying snap to the owner of the hand. Once Marie recognized Lexa the girl seemed to cry even harder before she suddenly flung herself at the commander.

“Ssshhh” Lexa soothed the girl immediately unsure why she was this upset in the first place “Calm down, you are safe”.

Marie did seem to take a long time to even start to calm down. Anya had also sat down behind the girl from the other side and put a hand on her back rubbing in a circular calming notion.

Once the girl’s sobs started to die down Lexa gently wiped her face clear of the tears looking her deeply in the eyes noticing immediately that their charge was still troubled by something. “What has got you upset, Marie?” she asked her voice gentle and eyes calm.

“I … thought …. I thought …. I was a … prisoner …. again” Marie brought out her voice still high pitched and breathing elated. The girl stressed the “again” as if she had suffered some kind of throwback to her time on the Ark.

“Prisoner?” Lexa echoed confused as to why Marie would think such a thing. Anya sighed under her breath understanding dawning on her.

“Because I disobeyed you…” the girl added with a miserable and crestfallen expression obviously trying hard not to break down again. Anya had told her several times that their judging system was harsh and strict as well, disobedience was not tolerated lightly.

Lexa immediately shook her head “No, Marie, of course not. We both are angry that you disobeyed a direct order put there for your own safety. But that does not make you a prisoner, Marie. You would not be discarded like that.”

“Ever?” the girl asked voice hiccupping and her eyes so much bigger in her drawn face.

“Never” Anya and Lexa both said simultaneously their voices serious.

“But what if …?” Marie began but was cut off by Lexa lying a finger over her lips.

The commander looked sternly at the girl “Nothing you could do would prompt that, Marie”.

“You are stuck with us now” Anya added a teasing note to her voice trying to lighten the girl’s mood.

“Like with family?” Marie asked her eyes shining hopefully as she looked between both of them. It was heart-breaking how obvious it was on the girl’s young face that although she deeply wished for a family she seemed to be convinced that such a thing was not possible for her anymore.

Anya swallowed past a slight lump in her throat before she squeezed the girl’s shoulder reassuringly “We are family to you, Marie” her voice was grave and her brown eyes swam with deep emotion.

A slight smile pulled at Marie face before she turned her grey eyed gaze to Lexa and waited for her response.

The commander nodded her expression softened as she gently caressed the girl’s cheek “We are family” she reassured and they both hugged the girl simultaneously as if symbolizing the bond between them while Marie’s smile brightened into the brightest smile both of them had ever seen on the girl’s features.

To both of them it had already been clear that they shared a very deep bond with Marie and they would not have needed to label it with the term “family” although it reflected what their hearts already knew. But it was obvious that Marie on the other hand desperately needed to hear them call her family.


	104. Chapter 104

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 103  
> Anya brings Marie and Ontari back to Polis. Marie is brought alone into a guarded room and left alone. Lexa and Anya speak with Ontari. Lexa decides to keep Ontari alive for now. Anya and Lexa finally speak with Marie about them being family.

Chapter 104

They had stayed together in the small room until Gustus reported that the lock down of the tower could finally be lifted now as no additional suspects were found. Marie had finally calmed down after what felt like a very long time to both Anya and Lexa enveloped by both of them occasionally sighing in contempt. As Gustus knocked and entered Lexa entangled herself from their arms and stood up again. She was relieved that they would be able to return to their quarters now.

Marie seemed reluctant to let go of Anya tightening her small arms around Anya’s torso so the general took the girl’s smaller body up and carried her to the elevator with Marie’s head resting comfortably in the crook of her neck.

The girl seemed awfully shy after her breakdown and blushed furiously when Gustus smiled slightly at her which prompted her to completely hide her face against Anya’s throat. Anya just rolled her eyes mutely smirking at the girl’s childish behaviour but nevertheless tightened her arms reassuringly around her frame.

Titus was already waiting right in front of the commander’s quarters his face blank. The flamekeeper was not satisfied with the commander’s idea to keep Skykru involved with the clans.

Anya stopped in front of the quarters which were assigned to Clarke now as she remembered that Marie’s wolf cub was still with the blonde leader. The general knocked at the door waiting for the Sky leader to call her inside while Lexa already proceeded them to speak with Titus, her patience was used up for the day and she had no intention of listening to his dissent for longer than necessary.

Marie looked up slightly from her hiding place against Anya’s neck confusion clouding her grey eyes as she did not immediately recognize the door.

When a voice from inside called asking them to enter Anya pushed the door open and strode inside, Marie still securely in her arms.

Clarke laid probed up against the headboard on the bed a thick old book on her lap and Risha lying next to one of her legs her fingers carding through the cub’s soft fur.

The blonde leader’s face showed a relieved smile. She had been told of the weird circumstances regarding Marie’s disappearances and she had also remembered how Lexa had told her about Costia and how the girl had been killed because of her association to the commander.

Risha perked up immediately instantly recognizing the smell of her human finally returning. The wolf cub had spent the whole absence of Marie in Clarke’s company being skittish and the cub had seemed to search for Marie in the room every few hours not understanding why her human was not returning.

Marie emitted what could pass for a happy squeal at seeing her wolf cub and Risha crawled over the bed towards Anya and Marie immediately loosened her arm around Anya and with difficulties took up the cub putting it between her own and Anya’s chest.

The girl immediately cuddled back up against Anya who simply nodded in acknowledgment to Clarke and walked them back out of the room.

Lexa’s raised voice already sounded through the hall only slightly muffled by the closed door of the commander’s quarters.

The doors were immediately opened for the general as she approached and Lexa’s voice only increased in volume without the barrier. Anya would have expected them to discuss the matter of Skykru but from what she heard it sounded more like something concerning the nightblood.

Lexa had just reported to the flamekeeper that the Ice Nation nightblood was within the tower at the moment under heavy guard. Titus’ reaction had been predictably clear, the only option her former teacher saw was executing the nightblood girl away from the prying eyes of the public keeping it a secret she had ever been here at all. He thought it was absolutely impossible to even contemplate letting her stay and train with the rest of the conclave. Anya had to agree on a certain point, the nightblood girl was already too old to still be taught their own values which were bound to contrast starkly to anything she must have been taught by the ice queen. But depending on the girl’s attitude it did not necessarily have to be an impossible task, the following days and weeks would show that.

The flamekeeper whirled around at the sound of the opening door his eyes narrowing at the girl in Anya’s arms and the general thought to have spotted a flash of what could be disappointment in his dark eyes before his face got completely blank again.

“This does not only concern Ontari, Titus” Lexa continued their conversation her voice short and eyes sharp “I will spent more time with the conclave myself and you will be delimited to solely teach them their lessons and otherwise the care of the younger nightbloods will be handled by someone else”.

Titus’ dark eyes glittered angrily and he seemed to breathe heavier. Lexa had just efficiently cut a huge part of his duty away, it had always been duty of the flamekeeper to handle the nightbloods upbringing.

Adding to Titus’ obvious anger Lexa clarified “I specifically mean Boo. We have been over your handling of the children several times” her voice was even harder now. It was obvious Lexa placed a huge part of the blame for Boo trying to flee from Polis on the flamekeeper’s shoulders.

Anya had meanwhile placed Marie on the edge of the bed and helped the girl strip from the clothes she had worn the past days while Risha already made herself at home on the soft furs placed on the bed. The girl’s grey eyes were focused on a spot on the floor and looking over, Anya noticed that it was the spot where a rug was missing having been removed after it was tainted by the assassin’s blood.

Titus seemed to seethe silently and Anya could not remember seeing the man speechless, he obviously had not expected Lexa restraining him in this way.

“That is all for now, Titus” the commander dismissed her former teacher her voice leaving no room for further discussion and her eyes hard and unyielding.

With a final glare Titus turned on the spot and stormed out of the rooms. Marie winced slightly as the door fell close loudly behind the flamekeeper.

Lexa exhaled what sounded to be a frustrated breathe before she immediately started to divest herself of the commander regalia wearing her down heavily after a long day.

Anya critically inspected the girl’s body in front of her, Marie’s upper body had been bandaged tightly to give her shoulder more stability and the girl’s skin was smeared with dirt from the hard and long travel, but it was obvious that she was tired and she could take a bath in the morning as well. Her wrists had obviously been restrained and the skin was rubbed away leaving it raw.

Marie yawned tiredly as if to prove Anya correct. The general helped the girl into a clean soft shirt and some lose trousers which were slightly too long for her legs, but she would grow into them soon enough.

With gentle fingers Anya loosened the rest of Marie’s braids taking out the red bands interwoven in them and carding her fingers through the now curled hair getting rid of a few tangles.

The general pushed their charge down on the bed covering her immediately with a soft fur “Sleep, Marie” she ordered and made to stand from the bed.

The girl’s hand instantly shot out under the fur taking Anya’s wrist in a surprisingly strong hold her grey eyes begging the woman silently to stay. Anya nodded mutely and settled down on the bed again gently prying the girl’s fingers from her wrist and keeping the girl’s hand squeezed between her own larger ones.

It did not take long for Marie to fall asleep while Lexa almost silently went through her chambers also changing into comfier clothing and in the end just paced the length of the room deeply lost in thought. Anya could see the girl fighting the sleep wanting to claim her a few times, her grey eyes almost closing until she forced them wide open again. Marie’s eyes sought out Lexa in the room every time she did that before settling onto Anya’s face again, as if to make sure she had not just imagined being back in the tower. Anya remained by her side patiently stroking the girl’s fingers gently every now and then trying to calm her further until Marie’s grey eyes finally closed and her breathing evened out.

Once she was sure the girl had drifted into a deep sleep Anya laid the girl’s hand under the furs as well gently feeling the girl’s forehead and finding the skin slightly heated. The fever was rising Anya noted with a flash of worry. The last time Marie had been sick, the sickness had been hard on her body and she doubted it would be any easier this time around.

“She is getting sick” Anya commented with a slight grimace her voice laced with worry as she stood from the bed.

Lexa was still pacing the length of the room her feet bare and barely making any sound on the rug covered floor but at Anya’s words she stopped abruptly in her pacing strengthening her back as she did so.

Her green eyes wandered over to Marie now sleeping in the bed and she noted on the flushed quality to the girl’s pale skin. “If it gets worse the healers need to be called again” she added.

“What happened with Skykru?” Anya asked feeling that the meeting must gone the worst way possible. She did not know which fool had thought it a good idea to bring Charles Pike, as the man had already been openly opposing them in their own settlement. The Skykru did not seem to possess any kind of political skills, as even young seconds to generals would know to never bring someone who would speak an opposing opinion to political talks when the alliance was on such shaky grounds.

“Fools, the whole bunch of them” Lexa snarled angrily keeping her voice low before she would wake their charge again, who obviously desperately needed the rest. “I do not yet know if Charles Pike is just an arrogant fool or well aware how to sow discontent with every word” the commander added her green eyes hard. “None of the clans which had been open to speak with Skykru about trade will even consider negotiations now” the commander took up her pacing again “They all call out for their blood again” her voice was laced with heavy frustration.

Anya nodded with a sigh. She had expected this outcome as being the one with the highest probability. Skykru had no knowledge of their culture and customs and were bound to step on someone’s pride sooner rather than later out of a mixture of their big mouths and pure ignorance. The general stripped out of the thick clothing herself putting on something else to sleep in more comfortably.

“All they have achieved is convincing the clans in their opinion that Skykru can become the next Mountain Men with all their tech” Lexa said voice sounding tired and deeply frustrated.

Anya contemplated the said words and nodded with another sigh. They both had already thought about this possibility and they had seen enough of their tech and Anya of their bombs to know that this was a very real threat and it would be hard, if not impossible, to persuade the clans to change their minds. But if the weather kept on getting worse this quickly the impending cold season would force the clans to see reason at least until the snow would melt again and make the travel for an army possible again.

“It will be a long cold season” tone thoughtful Anya commented and the commander nodded letting out another deep breath.

“Hopefully long enough to change their minds” Lexa added stepping over to the bed finally. The commander climbed into the bed next to their charge feeling the girl’s temperature as well as a frown settled on her face. She carefully listened to the girl’s breathing and thought it sounded slightly strained. “She seems to have trouble breathing” Lexa said to the general as she joined them in the large bed.

Anya nodded “She had the same the last time as well”. The general dearly hoped that Marie’s sickness would not be as bad as last time, but this time they had fully qualified healers with them so she had confidence they would be able to help their charge.

They both laid down settling for the night with the girl between them. Both of them slept easier this night knowing their charge to be safely back with them.

Lexa was awoken in the middle of the night to a strange sound and it took her a moment to identify the origin of the sound. Marie’s breathing sounded rattling and her chest was rising and falling in irregular patterns and the girl’s skin was darkly flushed and she seemed to burn up with a high fever. Anya had not woken up yet, deeply tired from the long and hard journey over the last days.

The commander gently shook Marie to rouse her from her sleep but the touch did not seem to have any impact on her. Quickly she stood up from the bed crossing her chambers with big strides and immediately ordering one of the guards posted there for the night to urgently summon a healer.

The man nodded and hurried down the halls the sounds of his heavy boots strongly resonating through the hall.

Lexa had already stepped back into her chambers when she caught movement coming from Clarke’s door down the hall. The blonde must have been woken by the sounds of the guard hurrying to the elevator.

The commander shortly caught the other woman’s eyes noting on the pure exhaustion written on the other’s face and she mutely wondered if she had slept at all yet. She had heard the guards’ reports who had been posted at the Sky leader’s door telling her that she suffered from trouble sleeping and many nights did not seem to sleep at all.

Loud coughing coming from her chambers called Lexa’s attention away from Clarke and she quickly went back inside the rooms. It seemed Anya had been awoken by Marie’s coughing fit as well now and pulled the girl’s limp body into a more upright position in the hopes of easing her coughs.

Lexa stood next to the huge bed feeling helpless not knowing what to do other than wait for the healer’s arrival. The commander had not expected Clarke to follow into her chambers and whirled around at the sound of hesitant footsteps behind her.

Clarke stood by the door with an insecure expression on her face for a moment before determination entered her face “Lay her back down, but prop her back up with cushions. Sitting her up completely won’t make it better” the blonde said as she stepped fully into the room.

Clarke was dressed in a light blue nightgown Lexa knew had been sent to the blonde’s room and her feet were bare, her blonde hair falling freely past her shoulders. Lexa motioned the blonde to come over to the bed, she was aware that she was helping the healers in the tower.

Anya had followed the younger woman’s instructions knowing that her experience in healing was much greater than her own and trusting her words.

“Since when does she show symptoms?” Clarke questioned stepping up to the bed her attention being focused on the girl.

“Her temperature had been elated the whole day” Anya said “She had been out in the snow dressed in only a thin shirt”.

Clarke nodded and ordered Anya to pull Marie completely upright for a moment. The blonde slipped on the bed behind the girl and lifted her shirt putting an ear against her back and listening to her breathing.

Lexa watched her brow crease in obvious worry as she pulled back “What is it” she asked tone as calm as possible.

“It sounds like pneumonia” Clarke said as if to herself obviously thinking hard already.

Both Anya and Lexa looked confused, never having heard this particular word.

“Is that serious?” Anya wanted to know as she eased the girl back down onto the pile of pillows her voice halting slightly. 

Clarke sighed before she said “It can be deadly. But if treated in time, she should be fine”.

Lexa and Anya bandied a silent worried glance.

“What do you need?” Lexa immediately asked addressing Clarke. Behind them Laurel just entered the commander’s quarters. The old woman stepped up to them as well clearing her throat to announce her presence and immediately nodded respectfully to the commander but turned her attention to the girl on the bed for who she had obviously been called here.

Clarke and Laurel quickly exchanged on what they could do for Marie and it was apparent after only a few words that Clarke seemed to be better prepared to help her. The grounder healer had also already dealt with this disease many times, but most of the times her patients did not survive this particular sickness, especially children and elders. Clarke wracked her brain hard trying desperately to remember all the healing lessons she had ever had. She knew that on the Ark such a sickness would have been dealt with by simply administrating antibiotics but as they were not available here, she had to remember the more natural remedies used in prior times as an alternative.

She did remember that ginger, pepper, dandelion and garlic could be used to help with infections in the air ways and hoped they would be enough to contain the pneumonia. Clarke doubted that they would be willing to bring Marie back to the Ark and she also doubted that travelling would be good for the girl’s situation, she needed immediate help.

Laurel and Clarke needed a few moments to match what the plants were called in Trigedasleng she would need, before the older woman left promising to gather all they would need and return shortly.

The girl started to whimper in her sleep caught in a feverish dream. Anya and Lexa both tried to sooth the girl but no matter what they tried the girl was inconsolable.

Clarke had occupied herself with heating water over the fire for a tea. She asked the commander if there was fresh cold water and some cloths. Lexa pulled away from the girl leaving her in Anya’s hands and showed Clarke to her bathroom where she knew they would find what Clarke had asked for.

Lexa watched Clarke wet some cloths and place them on Marie’s legs after she had stripped her of her trousers before she covered her with the furs again.

“She might need a cold bath later” Clarke said to Lexa and the commander nodded summoning a guard to call for handmaidens to prepare one following Clarke’s instructions on which herbs to add to the hot water, so that the herbs could soak before the water cooled down.

Lexa retreated to the couch letting Clarke and Laurel work. Anya stayed standing beside the bed for now watching the women force a tea down the girl’s throat and how Laurel prepared a thick strongly smelling paste to smear on the girl’s chest. Through all of the treatments Marie did not wake once what troubled both Anya and Lexa the most.

Laurel left some time later because Clarke assured her that she would be able to keep watch of the girl reasoning with the older woman that it was unnecessary for both of them to keep her vigil.

Lexa kept herself occupied with her thoughts in the other part of her chamber trying to give Clarke space from her as she still felt that the other leader was uncomfortable in her presence.


	105. Chapter 105

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, the next chapter =)  
> Marie will remain sick for the next chapters as pneumonia is a pretty serious illness.   
> Clarke and Lexa finally get to talk with each other ;) I hope you like it
> 
> Previously in chapter 104  
> Lexa and Anya bring Marie back into the commander’s quarters. While the girl sleeps they speak about what had occurred with Skykru. In the night Marie’s sickness has mounted and Clarke comes to help her, recognizing pneumonia.

Chapter 105

The hours of the night seemed to pass slowly. Anya had fallen asleep some time ago after she had stepped away from the bed and joined Lexa in the other part of the room. The general’s position halfway lying halfway sitting did not look comfortable but Lexa knew the older woman would just wake again should she attempt to manoeuvre her into a more comfortable position.

Marie’s fever did not break after the tea but Clarke could not get the girl into the bathing tube alone and there was only Lexa awake as well. The commander sat on one of the comfy looking couches and wrote something in a book with a feather and ink.

“Lexa” Clarke lowly addressed the brunette, she had also noticed the tiredness in the general’s brown eyes and did not want to wake the older woman.

The commander’s green eyes immediately snapped up from the page and connected with her blue ones silently asking what she wanted.

“I need to get Marie into the tube” Clarke explained and her brow furrowed as a thought crossed her mind “Or should I ask a guard for assistance?” she did not know if this was a task the mighty commander would be doing herself or if here in Polis attendants would do everything for her. Since arriving in Polis Clarke had not seen more than a few glimpses from the commander but it was clear that the woman was at home in this rooms. Clarke had never seen her this unguarded and relaxed, dressed in a lose shirt that hung from her shoulder, her hair loose and curly and her feet bare against the rugs on the floor.

At this moment it was very hard to reconcile this young woman with the version she had gotten to know while preparing for the Mountain. Stripped of the regalia of the commander and free of the duties weighing her down during the day, the illusion of a higher age was shattered and all that seemed left was only another young woman.

Lexa shook her head at the question, closed the book softly and stood from the couch silently padding over to the bed.

It struck Clarke how silently Lexa was able to move in direct comparison to herself and her own feet made what felt to her like rather loud sounds in the otherwise quiet room, quiet save for Marie’s rattling breath sometimes interrupted by heavy coughs. Lexa did seem to possess a natural grace giving her movements the illusion of a feline predator circling its prey on soft paws.

Together with Lexa it was easy to carry Marie into the bathroom. The commander herself stripped the girl of her shirt and took of the bandage around her injured shoulder and together they gently lowered the girl into the water.

A few moments nothing seemed to happen but after another few silent moments Marie blinked her eyes open breathing still rattling and her eyes totally bloodshot. It was clear the girl was frightened by how she woke up and had difficulties to recognize where she was.

Lexa kneeled by the bathing tube making Marie look at her with gentle fingers and soothed the girl “Everything will be fine, Marie, you have a fever”. Stroking some of the blonde hair out of her face which stuck to the sweat soaked skin.

“It is cold” Marie brought out between heavy coughs her teeth started to rattle together when shivers ran through her frame.

Lexa wanted to take the girl from the cold bath immediately but Clarke shook her head “The fever has not broken yet”.

When Marie tried to push herself up to get out of the bath herself Lexa insistently held her engulfed in the cold water. The girl’s grey eyes were slightly unfocused as she weakly tried to fight of the commander’s hand mumbling “I want out … it is cold … I want … Anya … I … Lexa”.

Lexa felt a painful tug at her heart at seeing the girl like this, it was obvious she was delirious with her high fever and did not seem to even recognize her at all. How she seemed to ask for Anya and herself for help she could not offer right now felt like a blow to her heart.

Clarke had stayed back slightly giving Lexa space to care for the girl but still there in the bathroom if she needed to jump in. The conflict on Lexa’s usually so stoic face was easy to identify and Clarke again was surprised how compassionate the commander was with the young girl. Musing silently Clarke wondered if she knew Lexa at all beside the ruthless commander and what else made up the obviously complex woman. She was aware that it spoke of a high level of respect if not even trust on Lexa’s part to allow her to see the commander like this at all.

Lexa hummed the melody of the lullaby again under her breath like Clarke had already heart her do in the medical bay of the Ark trying somehow to at least partly calm the upset girl. But Clarke knew that no matter what, it would not help as long as the fever remained this high.

After some long torturous minutes to Lexa Clarke stepped closer to the bathing tube crouching down and felt Marie’s forehead for her temperature. Fortunately the skin was considerably colder to the touch, not as cold as she had hoped, but an improvement nonetheless. So Clarke nodded to Lexa grabbing into the water under the girl’s knees and lifting her body out of the water with the commander’s help.

Lexa immediately took a big towel enveloping the girl in it to dry her off quickly. Marie was barely conscious anymore and Lexa had to hold her up with her other hand to steady her.

“I will make more tea” Clarke said and left the bathroom.

After quickly finishing the task of drying the girl Lexa tried to redress her in clean and dry clothes. But getting the girl’s arms into a shirt with only one hand and Marie totally unresponsive proofed harder than Lexa had anticipated and it took her some rather long minutes and a lot of strange manoeuvres to succeed in her task. Once she did Lexa simply pulled the girl’s almost limp body up into her own arms and carried her back into the main room immediately putting her down on the bed.

But at first Marie kept her arms securely locked around Lexa’s body and Lexa had to carefully pry their charge’s fingers away where they had bunched into her shirt, the pitiful whimper the girl emitted at  the action tore at her heart painfully again before she could cover her with a clean soft fur.

Clarke came over back to the bed with a steaming cup in hand but Marie was still so deep between delirious and sleep that they both together made the girl drink the tea. It struck Clarke how Lexa seemed overly careful not to touch her in any way and for some reason that irked her.

Lexa’s attention seemed solely focused on Marie but Clarke unexpectedly moved her hand another way than would probably have been expected making Lexa’s hand land on her upper arm as she moved.

The commander immediately removed her hand as if struck and shortly glanced at the blonde leader “I apologize…” she said her green eyes guarded.

Clarke sighed under her breath pursing her lips at the reaction. She could not remember Lexa being like this all those weeks ago and she thought to have spotted a slight blush on her face before the commander stepped away from the bed, Marie once again settled to sleep for some time.

Risha who had been ignored in the last hours had watched the other humans bustled around her human with curious eyes. The wolf cub was not impressed when Clarke hindered her from climbing onto her human’s chest. But Clarke took the cub and put it on the floor not wanting the animal to disturb the girl’s rest in any way. It seemed as if the cub narrowed its eyes at her turned on the spot like it was offended and padded over to the commander.

Lexa had sat down on the couch again and continued to write in her own journal. Risha nudged the commander’s leg with a soft paw and was put on the couch beside the commander immediately with one hand carding through her fur soothingly.

Clarke watched the commander silently from her post beside Marie’s resting form. She wondered how much sleep the other woman could have gotten this night, although nothing in her posture spoke of any exhaustion at all and her eyes were as sharp as ever.

She knew that the group from her people had arrived in Polis and she had fully expected someone asking to see her the minute they arrived.

Marie started to cough violently and Clarke eased her into a more upright position taking the strain from her chest.

Anya woke from the sound groaning tiredly as she did so. A headache was blazing behind her temples fiercely, a deep ache in her back and neck from having slept in a weird position.

Lexa caught her former mentor’s eyes “You can go and sleep in your own quarters” she offered in a calm tone and that Anya did stand up and leave the room without any discussion spoke volumes of the exhaustion the general was feeling.

Clarke watched the general leave the room silently, Marie had settled down again after her coughing fit, so Clarke’s blue eyes returned to the commander, who had bent over her journal again writing something down.

“Do you write in English or Trigedasleng?” Clarke asked as she went over to Lexa surprising herself slightly with speaking up. She had just blurted out the first question of many clouding her mind.

Lexa also seemed surprised as her green eyes snapped up away from the page before she blinked a few times and her face got completely closed off again, her voice was even when she answered “In both basically”.

Clarke tilted her head slightly peering at the still opened page, but what met her eyes was not the alphabet she was used to.

“It is the way we write Trigedasleng used to write in your language” Lexa clarified as she closed the book sensing that Clarke seemed intent to talk.

“That does not sound like a combination many would be able to decipher” Clarke mused in thought.

Lexa inclined her head “It is not meant to be”. The commander’s before her since the development of Trigedasleng had all written their journals in this way. It assured that only warriors skilled in writing and reading and in both languages were able to read the texts, a combination truly found only in very high ranking ones and then it still needed a certain degree of training.

“Do you ever not work?” Clarke asked after a moment of silence seeing Lexa’s hand twitch as if to continue her writing.

Lexa’s green eyes were hard now “I am always the commander” she simply said unyielding.

Clarke sighed “But do you ever rest?”

“The work of a commander never ends” Lexa commented “I could stop resting all together and still I would never be out of “work” as you put it”.

Clarke’s lips twitched amusement pulling at her lips “Sounds exhausting” there was a hint of a tease to her tone.

Lexa did not seem to know how to react to this other than mutely inclining her head, or she simply had nothing to say to this, Clarke was not sure.

“Do I have you to thanks for being left alone by my people?” the blonde asked her eyes boring into Lexa’s after a long moment of silence between them.

Lexa’s hand carding through Risha’s fur paused for the blink of a second before she resumed the movement, her expression looked almost puzzled as she said “You wished to be left alone”.

Clarke met her gaze intensely “So you banned them from seeing me?” she checked.

“I merely restricted them to their allotted level in the tower” Lexa said sounding slightly confused. The commander internally wondered if she had misinterpreted Clarke’s wishes.

“Thank you” Clarke said after another moment of silence and Lexa merely inclined her head in acknowledgment.

Clarke internally mused how a re-union between her people and her would have looked like. She had heard the guards talking about the meeting between her people and the ambassadors of the clans and it had sounded as if it had turned out the worst way possible for her people. She was almost one hundred percent sure that her people would have demanded her to come up with a solution for the chaos they had already caused if she had met them.

It was such a contrast, the way her own people treated her and the way Lexa treated her. It was blaringly apparent that Lexa did not expect anything from her and she was still unsure what the commander could have gained by allowing her to travel to the capitol with her or if she just allowed her for her own sake, somehow it still was hard to contemplate this possibility. Her people or at least what was left of the 100 were always looking at her to know the solutions for everything, save them all and later be blamed for what she had allowed to happen in order to save them. While the adults from the Ark all thought her unfit to make such decisions simply because they still regarded as a child.

“How do you do it?” Clarke chocked out suddenly feeling a huge lump lodged deep in her throat making it almost impossible to breathe nevertheless talk.

“Do what?” Lexa asked her voice calm but her green eyes seemed so much more compassionate with the intense way she stared silently at her.

“Deal with all of it?” Clarke asked feeling so awfully small right now under the weight she felt trust on her shoulders and the guilt crushing her down.

Lexa seemed to contemplate her words for long moments before she carefully said sitting slightly straighter “I was raised to lead my people, Clarke. I was taught not to question what it needs to protect them at a young age. I have long learned to separate the decision I make in a war from my feelings.”

Clarke sighed, she had essentially known that already, but it did not help her at all. An image of a young brunette girl with wild hair barely contained in braids and emerald green eyes struck up in her mind, how the innocent girl was taught things no child should ever have to think about.

“We had that already” Clarke almost snorted “You do feel for your people, you felt for those who died in TonDC”.

Lexa inclined her head her voice honest “I do feel for all of them, yes. But I know that I cannot let feelings get in the way of duty. Not now, not ever.”

Clarke sighed again. She recognized that Lexa had just confirmed that if a situation like the Mountain would repeat itself, as the commander she would make the same decision again. But Clarke had also already seen just how big just Polis was and for just how many people Lexa was responsible. She was already breaking under the responsibility for her own people which could not even dream to compare in number to the population of the clans. She had no idea how Lexa had not broken yet and still seemed so unbelievably strong.

“I do not know how to move one” Clarke finally said after another long silence. Lexa had simply waited for the blonde to state her mind. The commander was still not convinced that offering the blonde any advice would really cause something.

“You already do” Lexa retorted voice carefully even without even the hint of any judgement “You survived and you live and you will continue to do so”.

Clarke snorted again shaking her head “I barely live anymore, I survive. I … I can’t close my eyes without seeing them … without hearing their screams…” even to her own ears her voice sounded weak and the bitterness in her words left a foul taste in her mouth.

Lexa could see a shiver running through the blonde’s body and she nodded again “The memories will fade with time” she assured calmly “And there are teas you can take to allow for a dreamless rest”.

Clarke furrowed her brow “Do you take such teas?” for some reason she did not think that likely.

Lexa seemed to consider for a moment what to say before she answered her face shadowed for the flash of a second “I cannot afford to numb my mind and make myself vulnerable. But within the protected walls of Polis I have taken such concoctions often enough.” Lexa had a faraway look on her face before she blinked her eyes regaining their focus as she added “I took some every night after Costia’s head was delivered to my bed and I had sent Anya away from Polis”. Dark memories minutely flashed up in Lexa’s mind and she doubted she would have remained sane without the help of the tea, unable to close her eyes, afraid to fall asleep and so utterly alone.

Clarke seemed speechless for a moment her blue eyes full of sympathy for the young woman opposite of her. “How bad have my people fucked up?” she asked changing the topic sensing the shift in the other leader’s mood.

Lexa raised a brow at the blonde critically forcefully banishing the old memories from her mind before a slight smirk appeared on her face “As bad as possible” she retorted her expression turning serious and suddenly exhausted.

Clarke blinked at the change in the commander’s expression and looked at her questioningly.

Lexa thought for a moment on how much to tell to Clarke before she decided to tell her the whole truth. “I had hoped to soon be able to include Skykru as the thirteenth clan into my coalition” she proclaimed to the blonde leader watching her reaction intently.

“Why would you do that?” Clarke asked sounding bewildered.

The commander sighed and Clarke could shortly see regret in her green eyes “If your people became my people, I would never have to choose again” she said softly expression open and vulnerable.

Clarke sucked in a harsh breath being caught completely off guard.

“I can never guarantee lasting peace between Skykru and the other clans if they do not join into the coalition” Lexa clarified expressively.

“You “had” hoped” Clarke said after a short pause catching up on the past tense.

Lexa sighed frustration clouding her expression “One meeting with the Skykru delegation was enough to destroy any and all hopes I had for an approximation between the clans and Skykru. All the clans who had been open to negotiate about trade have withdrawn their offers and joined Ice Nation, Rock Line and the Desert Clan in their calls for war”.

Clarke looked utterly shocked, it was obvious she had not expected the situation to be this serious. “War?” she echoed her voice sounding slightly hollow.

The commander nodded “Charles Pike was quite successful in convincing all ambassadors that your tech gives your clan the possibility to rise as the next sort of Mountain Men”.

Anger flashed up in Clarke’s blue eyes “Which idiot of the council did think to bring him here?!” her voice was raised slightly.

Lexa smirked but shook her head “The damage is done now, Clarke. I have the cold season to try to repair it and convince the clans otherwise”.

Clarke’s brows furrowed in confusion so Lexa added “The cold season has started earlier and harsher than usual, promising an exceptionally hard winter. Troop movements in this season are foolish and wars usually never take place during this season”.

Clarke nodded and opened her mouth to say something more but was interrupted by Marie erupting into another strong coughing fit.

The blonde and Lexa both stood up from their seats and went over to the bed, Risha watching behind them but rolling herself into a ball on the couch to sleep.

Once the girl’s coughing fit had finally ended Clarke had felt the girl’s forehead again feeling the fever returned full force “We need to repeat the bath” she explained already pulling the fur from the girl’s heated body. It was as drenched with sweat as the girl’s clothing was, sticking to her skin uncomfortably.

They repeated the same procedure again as before and sometime later Marie was back in the bed under another bunch of fresh furs. The girl’s grey eyes were opened but unseeing and she cried slightly. Lexa had sat down next to her on the bed holding the girl to her chest, gently caressing her blonde hair and humming the lullaby to her again.

Marie was cranky and did not understand why she felt this badly, her mind muddled by the fever waging in her body. She fought weakly against Clarke and Lexa when she was forced to drink another cup of tea. It worried Lexa to no end that the girl’s strength was obviously waning down quickly.

The tea seemed to make the girl sleepy and soon she drifted off again into a troubled sleep still encased in Lexa’s strong arms. Lexa felt her own eyes getting heavy as well after some time. When she tried to entangle herself from Marie the girl started to stir again, whimpering pitifully so that Lexa settled down for a moment giving the girl the opportunity to fall into a deeper sleep.

The commander did not realize dozing off, but sometime later she was startled awake by Clarke pulling a fur over her body. The blonde’s face was cast into shadows by the flickering candle night and her voice was soft as she said “Goodnight, commander”.

Lexa had been intent on getting up from the bed but somehow she fell asleep against her will before she could do so.


	106. Chapter 106

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 105  
> Clarke and Lexa take care of Marie together through the night and finally talk with each other again.

Chapter 106

Marie’s skin was again hot with a strong fever when Lexa was awoken again by the door to her room opening. It was Anya together with Alira and other handmaidens who had come to change the water in the bath and take care of all the clothing and furs the girl had already needed through the long night.

Lexa spotted Clarke sitting on a chair next to the bed and her brows creased as she had not heard the girl move the chair there. The blonde leader barely looked awake anymore and Lexa doubted she had even slept one second the previous night.

Gently Lexa now did entangle herself from their charge ignoring her protesting whimpers although it pained her deeply to do so. She needed to continue the meeting with the ambassadors she had called to an end so abruptly the day prior and other things needed her attention.

So Lexa quickly got ready for the day ahead of her, judging from the slight headache she felt building behind her eyes she doubted this day would prove any easier.

She was surprised to see Clarke approach her from the corner of her eyes while Alira re-did her intricate braids with quick practiced fingers.

“Is there anything I can do?” Clarke asked.

The tone off Clarke’s voice signified to Lexa what the blonde was asking for. She was surprised Clarke was asking at all as she would have truly respected her wishes not to be involved in anything political. “If you do not wish to take over your people’s lead…” Lexa retorted with a slight tease at seeing the blonde’s features twisting in obvious distaste before the commander finished more serious “… there is not much you could do”.

“”Not much” implies that there is something” Clarke probed insistently.

Lexa sighed “Nothing I would ask of you” she simply replied.

Clarke’s brows furrowed and her tone was sharper again “Lexa, what can I do?!”

The handmaidens looked rather alarmed at someone rising their voice against the commander in her own private chambers but Lexa did not bait an eye to her outburst.

“Bow to me” the commander retorted her eyes as sharp and voice deadly serious.

The blonde seemed taken aback and blinked at the other woman “Bow to you?” she echoed.

Lexa nodded “You are the only member of your clan that the ambassadors still hold respect for”.

Clarke’s eyes flashed angrily at the thought of having to submit in public to Lexa like that but before she could voice her opinion Lexa said “I knew you would react this way and this is why I would not ask it of you”.

Alira had finished the commander’s hair a moment ago and stepped back from Lexa giving her the opportunity to stand up. Quickly Lexa donning on her full commander regalia, she did not look at Clarke anymore at all, simply choosing to ignore the blonde for now. If not for her insistent probing, she would not have even told her at all and she was slightly angry with herself for having said anything.

Lexa quickly conversed with Anya. The woman had nothing too pressing for the day, which could not be rescheduled giving the general the opportunity to stay with Marie in addition to Laurel.

After that Lexa simply swept from her quarters leaving Clarke standing fuming silently.

Laurel had taken Marie into the bathroom again with another handmaiden and Anya, noticing Clarke’s brewing reaction had stayed in the main room approaching the blonde.

“You know that Lexa would not have even told you, had you not probed?” she asked critically.

Blue angry eyes snapped to Anya instantly blazing up at her. “She told me, she wants to make Skykru part of the coalition, to not have to choose again” Clarke seethed “And now she wants me to bow to her, submit to her?!”

Anya breathed out frustrated. Sometimes she wished to simply take the infuriating blonde and shake some sense into her, literally. “You do not listen!” she retorted voice hard as steel and louder as well “Lexa does NOT ask you to submit, because she respects you too much”.

When Clarke opened her mouth to retort something Anya silenced her cutting off what she was sure to be an angry rant “No matter if you believe it or not, Sky girl, Heda will not ask you and instead try to sway the clans the next weeks”.

When the younger woman still looked angry Anya huffed under breath rolling her eyes “I don’t know why I even try to talk sense into this thick skull of yours. I have never met someone so stupidly stubborn like you, Sky girl”.

Clarke ground her teeth together angrily, but even though she still felt upset, she knew that Lexa had specifically said, that she would not ask her to submit publicly. If the situation between the clans and Skykru remained this tense she would need to think about it again, hopefully calmer then.

Clarke dismissed herself from the commander’s quarters in order to go to her own. There she found a small pouch with herbs and neatly written instructions on how to use them. Clarke scrunched up her brow and returned to the commander’s quarters pouch still in her hand.

Laurel had just tucked Marie back into the huge bed when Clarke entered. The older woman spotted the pouch in her hand immediately and simply said “Heda told me to provide you with them”. Clarke blinked a few times mutely, nodded and left again.

The blonde had no idea when Lexa could have taken the time to give that order but if could have only been after their slight confrontation. For some reason the thoughtful gesture toucher her deeply solidifying again that Lexa was not expecting anything from her, but rather satisfied with offering her support without anything in exchange. Clarke suddenly felt ashamed for her outburst. Tiredly she did brew herself a tea following the instructions carefully. The concoction tasted horrible but she drifted off into a dreamless sleep only a few moments later.

Anya stayed beside Marie’s bedside sitting down on the chair Clarke had used through the night. The general felt slightly more rested, still tired, but she did not wish to leave Marie alone either.

The girl switched between her body caught up in a very high fever and suddenly shaking as if she was freezing. All in all her health seemed to have diminished even more. Marie was coughing often and she had started to cough up a slight amount of blood every time she did. Her breathing still sounded rattling and her chest was moving strangely as if she could not move her whole chest at once. Her heart rate was increased as well as her breathing.

Every time Marie coughed up some blood Anya bent over her wiping the blood from her lips.

“How long until she will get better?” Anya asked, seeing the girl like this pained herself deeply and she wished to be able to switch places with her and shoulder this sickness in her stead.

Laurel looked indecisive “That is hard to tell, general” she said brow creased in thought “Clarke said that five to seven days are normal, after that her state gets critical”.

Anya sighed knowing full well how excruciatingly slow time could pass in situations like this and she resigned herself to a few long days ahead of them.

Anya’s prediction became sadly true and it became increasingly harder for Lexa and her to take time to sit with Marie themselves, their respectful duties calling them away often enough. Clarke had offered to take over in this times, as she had nothing better to do and the purpose gave her something to focus on, something she was internally grateful for.

Three complete days had passed like this and both general and commander were not easy to deal with, their patience getting shorter with each hour passing without any improvement from Marie.

Lexa was busy the whole day with meetings and also had to finally take some time herself to spend with the nightblood children, so the commander was away from her chambers for the biggest part of the day. The general was also occupied with personally training Ontari for the day. The Ice Nation nightblood had recovered quickly from her infected wound and both Anya and Lexa had agreed that the commander needed to make a final decision as soon as possible but for that they wanted to see more of Ontari. Lexa thought it too risky to immediately bring the older girl together with the rest of her conclave and she did not trust Titus not to simply murder Ontari so she had asked Anya to spend a few hours with her, judging her skills and character.

That had left Clarke as a volunteer to stay with Marie, the girl’s fever still had not broken even after four days and although she had not voiced it aloud, Clarke was worried the girl would not recover.

When Clarke had heard that Raven was among the group of Skykru who had come to the capitol and that the young woman had asked after her, she had asked a guard if she could see the engineer. Clarke had been surprised when the guard nodded and left without another word from the door to the commander’s quarters. She had not expected Lexa to leave instructions that Clarke could welcome guests in her quarter.

Clarke had already returned to Marie’s bedside confused by the exchange when the door was opened again some time later and Raven stepped inside. Clarke smiled openly at the brunette, who was occupied with looking around the grand rooms.

“No wonder you had wanted to come here, Griffin” she commented acknowledging the luxurious furniture.

“This is are the commander’s quarters” Clarke explained watching Raven’s features morph into distaste.

Raven shortly looked to Marie “I heard the poor kid could not take a break” the engineer still vividly remembered the girl lying in the medical bay on the brink of death.

“Pneumonia” Clarke simply commented with a sigh. She truly hoped Marie would improve soon. She knew that the sickness could continue like this up until a week and a half until they really had to worry.

“I heard she ran away” Raven added with a knowing look.

Clarke furrowed her brow, she had been told what had really happened “From who?”

“Pike” Raven shrugged her shoulders “Don’t know how trustworthy his words on that are though”.

Clarke snorted “Not at all obviously. She was abducted from Polis.”

Raven’s slight smirk fell from her lips “Oh”. “And you are her babysitter now?” she asked with a raised brow a moment later.

Clarke shook her head “Anya and Lexa are occupied”.

Raven arched an eyebrow at the blonde her dark eyes flashing “Lexa it is now? Good to know you are so buddy-buddy with the commander to all grounders now, who has basically left us to die, Griffin”. The critics in her voice were clear.

“Raven, why is Pike here?” Clarkes asked instead, ignoring the jibe.

Raven crossed her arms over her chest “The council obviously thought it a brilliant idea to show him “peaceful grounders”. It was bound to backfire.”

Clarke creased her brow shaking her head with a sigh.

“You have no idea how quickly he had managed to sway people in his opinion” Raven said “I would not be surprised if he even managed to get chancellor if they continue like this. And Bell-boy is his first supporter”.

Clarke blinked at the other girl in disbelief “Bellamy? Why?”

“Octavia came to Arkadia a day before we left for Polis. She and Lincoln will “bond” and she made it clear she was not one of us anymore and would never return to Arkadia” Raven explained “Bell-boy thinks she has been brainwashed by them”.

“Shouldn’t he be happy for her?” Clarke asked voice still disbelieving.

Raven nodded with an unamused expression “I don’t think he does normal reactions. Pike just recognized his anger towards Indra and Lincoln”.

Clarke sighed deeply “Pike chancellor? You can’t be serious?”

Raven shrugged her shoulders “Your mother said she thought about giving up the pin. She sucks at doing two jobs at once”.

“Kane should become chancellor” Clarke remarked.

Raven nodded “If we ever want peace, sure. But tell that to the others.”

They were interrupted by the doors opening again and Anya stepping inside. The general’s brown eyes narrowed at the brunette Sky girl but she nodded in greeting to her, remembering her as the one who had helped taking care of Marie at Arkadia.

Clarke noted that Anya had fresh bruises on her knuckles and she silently wondered what had happened. Anya excused herself into the bathroom to clean up and Clarke spotted more strains of what could be blood on her armour, she hoped it was not her own, or she would need medical attendance as well.

Raven had her brow creased “Wow, she never seemed to be in a good mood to begin with, but now I would not want to cross her path”.

Clarke laughed lightly for a moment before Marie coughed up some blood again, which she immediately removed from her lips with a wet cloth. “She is worried” Clarke said simply “Both of them are”.

“Yeah, I heard the commander has kicked someone from the balcony of her throne room” Raven added wanting to know if that rumour was true.

“I don’t know if that is true” Clarke said shrugging her shoulders. She had heard the guards whispering about something like that as well, but she had not believed that.

Anya had returned into the room without them realizing and Raven jumped slightly when the general commented in a nonchalant tone “It is” she bent down slightly over Marie’s sleeping form pushing a strand of blonde hair from her face “And it was not the first time” she added and as she straightened again “Nor will it be the last”.

Clarke nearly did a double take when Raven cocked her head at Anya and said “Then I suggest Pike. Or he will fuck up even more”.

To both of their surprise Anya actually laughed out loud at that before the general sobered up again “I will be sure to tip Lexa off to that suggestion”.

Raven bandied looks with Clarke unsure if that was a joke or serious and with the way the grounders all seemed able to completely close off their expressions it was impossible to tell.

When Marie suddenly was caught in another strong coughing fit, so strong it actually woke her from her fevered dreams, Anya immediately slipped onto the bed beside the girl easing the girl into a sitting position and rubbing her back soothingly.

Marie’s grey eyes were unfocused and her voice scratchy “It hurts” was all she said expression broadcasting the pain she felt at every breath.

“It will get better” Anya tried to reassure her charge softly caressing her cheek and wiping a few tears from them.

Clarke had stood up to retrieve a new dose of tea for the sick child. It was easier to make her drink it when she was at least slightly conscious reducing the probability of her chocking and some additional liquid getting into her already aggravated lungs.

Raven remained a few steps away from the bed and watched Clarke how she prepared the tea, offering the general privacy in caring for Marie. It still astounded Raven to see a grounder handle a child this gently, although she knew they actually did not have a reason to think this way; they had gotten to know the war culture of the clans and not their everyday life after all.

Anya desperately tried to sooth the upset child. They had seen over the last four days that crying usually only worsened her state but it seemed to be all Marie did once she woke. Clarke had tried to explain to her what pneumonia actually was and that it was usually accompanied by a huge amount of pain.

The general took the cup with tea from Clarke’s hand, now that Marie was at least somewhat awake she was able to help in drinking and did not take two people to force the liquid down her throat. But it was still not an easy task to convince her to drink at all, it seemed swallowing itself hurt also and it pained Anya that she had to remain steadfast and urge Marie to continue to drink until the cup was empty again.

It was also impossible to get Marie to eat anything else than a bowl of clear broth. The healers had tried to give her something more substantial but as soon as she needed to so much as chew there was nothing that could convince Marie to eat at the moment. Anya was afraid that the girl might already be wasting away in front of their eyes.

Ontari had mostly been recovered from her wound, or at least the infection seemed to have been fought off, the wound itself was deep and was bound to restrict her movements for some time to come. Anya had to force herself from not unleashing her anger at the nightblood girl on her when she had seen her. She had expected Ontari to be defiant, arrogant and unwilling to listen, but she had been slightly surprised to find her almost silent. Anya did not know if shouting at the girl that it was her fault that Marie was almost dying right the moment the door had opened had efficiently shut her up or if they had misjudged her attitude this badly.

After Marie fell asleep again Clarke asked the general if she felt comfortable to look after Marie on her own for some time, Anya of course shooed the blonde girl away watching the other one follow her, they probably wanted to catch up to each other.

Anya stood from the bed again discarding her armour leaving her in her comfier clothes she had worn beneath the armour and sat on the bed beside Marie gathering the sleeping girl into her arms.

Anya had not noticed falling asleep but when she did Marie was looking up at her and her grey eyes seemed to have finally cleared. The girl smiled up at the woman slightly until she had to cough again. Marie brought her fingers to her mouth and inspected her fingers with a furrowed brow when they came back from her mouth bloodied.

The girl seemed to shiver in shock at the sight and Anya quickly pulled her chin up to look into her eyes “It is alright, Marie, you are sick. But you will get better again”.

Marie’s breathing was elated and tears sprung up in her eyes when the pain in her chest mounted “It hurts sooo much” she whinnied.

Anya gently cleaned her fingers off the blood “SSshh. Try to breathe calmly. Breathe like I do” she suggested and pulled the girl against her chest more firmly “In and Out” Anya tried to synchronize their breathing and it seemed to help at least somewhat.

“Why does it hurt so much?” Marie asked once her breathing had calmed slightly. The girl had no idea what had actually happened to her.

“Your lungs are inflamed” Anya explained her tone gentle and eyes soft as she stroked over her back “But you will get better soon” she promised to the exhausted child.

Marie nodded cuddled against her chest “Love you” the girl mumbled before tightening her hands bunched in Anya’s shirt and promptly fell asleep again, her body utterly exhausted from fighting the strong infection.

Anya lay utterly stunned beneath the girl, blinking down at her face stupidly unable to form any coherent thought. It took her a few moments to gather herself and she still felt shocked when she climbed from the bed careful not to wake their charge to call for the healers, who had wanted to be notified should anything change.


	107. Chapter 107

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 106  
> Marie’s condition is unchanged over four days. Lexa, Anya and Clarke take turns in sitting with the girl. Clarke speaks with Raven hearing from Pike sowing dissent in Arkadia. Anya is there when Marie’s fever finally breaks.

Chapter 107

Laurel and Clarke had both answered Anya’s summons for the healers. The lead healer was satisfied with finding the girl’s fever broken for the first time, but Clarke cautioned them with a frown that this did not have to mean anything, she said relapses were to be expected and if not Marie was expected to suffer from the symptoms for weeks to come.

The general had sent a guard to the throne room to relay to the commander that Marie’s health finally seemed to improve. Lexa’s temper had been shorter and more volatile than ever the last days and the ambassadors seemed to breathe out a relieved breath when the commander called an early halt to their meeting, wanting to see for herself to their charge.

While Anya had spent at least part of the last nights in her own quarters to at least get a few hours of sleep, Lexa had outright refused to do the same. The commander had insisted of staying within her own quarters but had also refused to have Marie moved from her bed. So Lexa had barely gotten more than a few minutes of sleep at a time in the last nights and the utter exhaustion the woman felt showed clearly in her temper. Titus had not dared to contradict her on anything the last days, sensing that doing so might prove to be his undoing.

Lexa and Clarke had not spoken more than a few words after their confrontation again, both women too stubborn to approach the other. Anya and the commander were grateful that the blonde leader had been willing to help look after Clarke, but all their contact was solely constricted to taking care of the sick child.

When Lexa stepped into her chambers Anya looked at her with a slightly raised brow “She sleeps still. You did not have to come immediately” there was a slight tease in her tone.

The commander shook her head emitting a frustrated growl. A messenger had reached Polis in the hours before sun up being sent by the ice queen. It was a wonder the messenger had been able to reach the capitol at all, obviously the snow storm Anya had encountered was neither the last nor the strongest one. The messenger had been frostbitten, lips blue from the cold and had just managed to force the message out of his lips before he succumbed to his exhaustion. Queen Nia proclaimed that she was unable to travel to Polis, claiming that her own capitol was already burrowed under a deep layer of ice and snow. She had not just sent her refusal to arrive before the ambassadors before the cold season eased up again, Nia had also demanded help for her villages nearer to Trikru borders.

With the Ice Nation still part of the coalition and without Nia’s presence in the capitol Lexa was nothing short of forced to actually grant Azgeda the help of the coalition. The problem was that Lexa knew that she could not blame all of Azgeda for the sins of their queen and so she had begrudgingly organised a caravan to travel into their lands.

Lexa divested herself of the regalia of the commander not intending to leave her chambers again today. She sighed putting her hands on the armrest of a chair straightening her back with resonating cracking sounds as she stood straight again.

Lexa stepped up to the bed immediately noticing that the flush had finally left the girl’s skin. Gently the commander placed a hand on the girl’s cheek breathing deeply in relieve when she found it cool to the touch. Marie stirred slightly under the gentle touch leaning into Lexa’s hand subconsciously.

Anya stood beside the bed as well a smile pulling at the corners of her lips at the sight. The general was not blind to the dark circles forming under the commander’s eyes, Lexa needed to rest or she would get sick as well.

Lexa kept on softly stroking the girl’s face for a few moments until Marie seemed to settle again and the commander stepped back from the bed. Both relief and exhaustion were clearly visible on her face.

“What can you report from the Ice Nation nightblood?” Lexa asked her general in a low tone walking over to the couches in the other part of the room.

“She was suspiciously compliant” Anya commented sitting down opposite of Lexa “Have you spoken to Clarke yet?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the general dangerously.

Anya rolled her eyes mutely before she explained “About Pike”.

Lexa’s expression mirrored confusion which morphed into anger a second later “What has that fool done now?”

“Apparently the sky people are blinder than anticipated” Anya explained further “I heard Clarke and her friend, Raven I think she is called, discuss him. It seems he could become leader of Skykru”.

Lexa’s hands clenched into fists lying on her knees angrily her teeth gnawing together and her eyes flashing in turmoil. “Are they trying to force my hand?!” Lexa seethed after a moment where Anya had almost worried the commander would break a tooth were she to ground them together even slightly stronger.

Anya met Lexa’s fierce gaze unabashed “It would mean outright war” she agreed easily. If Pike become their leader it was expected that Skykru would attack them for land or other resources soon after.

Lexa suddenly stood rising up in a second angrily pacing the length of the room her hands still clenched into tight fists.

Anya watched her former second pace for a few moments waiting if her anger would fade on its own, when it was clear that only step seemed to only make her anger rise further Anya stood up as well. Lexa did not pay her general any mind and did not even seem to notice her leave the room. Anya called one of the guards into the commander’s quarters with the clear order to remain by their charges side until they returned.

When she entered again Anya took two swords from a cabinet and directly stepped in front of Lexa’s path offering her one of the swords. Her green eyes gleamed an angry fire burning inside them as her hand closed around the handle accepting the weapon without further thought.

As it would have taken them too long of a way to reach the basement of the tower Anya followed Lexa up on top of the mountain. An icy wind welcomed them but Lexa did not even show the slightest indication she felt the dramatic temperature drop at all.

The huge fire which was kept burning was of course ablaze right now as well, it would only be extinguished once Lexa died and would be lightened again after a new commander took up her place.

General and commander circled each for a moment Anya simply waiting for the younger woman to attack. She knew she would need to be careful with the slight amount of space the platform on top of the tower afforded, it would be easy to slip and fall to one’s death.

Once Lexa attacked Anya had to put her whole strength in defending herself against the woman’s vicious attacks. Lexa’s anger had fuelled her strength against any exhaustion and it quickly became clear that Anya would not be able to hold herself long faced with the incensed commander.

As the minutes trudged by Anya felt getting several hits that were bound to leave bruises but she bit through mutely taking Lexa’s rage in stride. She was aware how frustrating the last days had been for the commander and Anya knew that the other woman desperately needed an outlet before she would snap under the pressure.

Lexa’s green eyes seemed to only consist of rage at the moment and it became increasingly difficult for Anya to simply keep a hold on her sword.

The general felt blood run from a cut on her forehead down the left side of her face, normally Lexa would call an end to their sparring at the sight of blood, but the commander seemed blind to it at the moment.

With a pained grunt Anya lost hold of her sword and the blade fell down, colliding with the huge vessel of the ever blazing fire of Polis with a resonating crack.

Lexa had pulled her sword up ready to strike again and Anya barely managed to raise her arms shielding her upper body from the blow. The steel of the blade bit deeply into her skin painfully blood flowing freely from the deep gashes on her forearms once Lexa pulled her sword back, the blade gleaming with her general’s blood.

Anya let herself fall to her knees in an attempt to make her surrender clear. The commander stood facing her general panting heavily from the exertion but finally the woman blinked and she seemed to actually discern her surroundings again.

Lexa blinked a few times just now feeling the bitingly cold air against her heated skin, she also felt that she had taken a hit to the right sight of her rips but Anya did seem to have taken many more hits. With an almost guilty expression Lexa offered a hand to the general to help her from the ground.

Anya took the offered hand and as she stood blood immediately flowed from her forearms down her hands dripping into the layer of snow on the ground. The general only mutely nodded to the commander, no words needed to be exchanged right now, it was clear in the absence of the tenseness in Lexa’s shoulders that the sparring had achieved what Anya had hoped to, the commander had let go of some of her tension.

They left the top of the tower in silence, both breathing heavy. Stepping into the level where the commander’s quarters were situated they promptly ran into Clarke.

The blonde leader’s eyes widened at the sight of blood gushing from Anya’s wound and the bloodied sword in the commander’s hands. “Was there an attack?” she asked worriedly.

“No” was all Lexa answered and ignoring the blonde otherwise swept past her directly to the doors to her own chambers which were promptly opened in front of her.

Marie was still asleep peacefully when they returned but the guard seemed relieved to see them return before the girl woke. Lexa immediately dismissed him from her chambers with a simple gesture.

The commander put a hand on the side which she felt hurting slightly and frowned at seeing her fingers come back tinted in black blood.

Clarke had followed both of them intent on at least bandaging Anya’s wounds.

The general had caught sight of Lexa’s bloodied fingers “I thought I had missed” she remarked in what passed as an apologetic tone.

Lexa shook her head, she had caused her former mentor far deeper wounds after all.

“You are both going to get sick too” Clarke scolded when she felt how icy Anya’s fingers were cleaning away some of the blood.

Anya just looked at her with an annoyed expression “Your people might be weak …” she trailed off as the blonde cleaned the actual wounds.

“These need stitches” Clarke said getting her first look at the wounds, they were pretty deep and would need a long time without stitches to close.

Anya nodded as if to say “get on with it” patiently waiting for the blonde leader to treat her wounds, the general merely just gritted her teeth as Clarke threated a needle and a suture through the edges of the wound.

Lexa shortly lifted her own shirt feeling it sticking to her skin already, she was bleeding strongly than she had anticipated. The commander pulled the shirt over her head putting a cloth on the slight graze on her side.

As Clarke finished stitching up Anya’s wounds and also cleaned the gash on her forehead the blonde turned to the commander. A slight blush grazed her cheeks at the sight of Lexa partly undressed, standing in the room with only tightfitting trousers and her bindings covering her chest.

“Let me clean that for you” Clarke offered in a calm tone to the commander while Anya went into the bath to clean the rest of her blood from her arms and hands.

Lexa shook her head slightly “It is only a shallow graze” she said looking down at Marie’s sleeping form, the girl’s breathing still sounded rattling.

“Lexa” Clarke addressed the other woman her tone amending “I would feel better if it is cleaned”.

Lexa shortly looked at the blonde meeting her gaze mutely for a moment before she inclined her head in permission.

The commander stood perfectly still as Clarke carefully cleaned the black blood away from the wound.

“It is not deep enough to require stitches” Clarke informed once she could see the actual wound.

Lexa nodded with an expression that clearly told “I told you so”.

Clarke’s lips twitched as she snorted under her breath as she cleaned the rest of the unexpectedly soft tanned skin around the gash. She could detect a few scars adoring the commander’s body some obviously older than other and some deeper than others. The new wound probably leave only a thin scar, if it would scar at all. Without the heavy armour of the commander Lexa’s frame looked so much smaller and she was only slightly taller than Clarke herself. Standing this close to the commander Clarke noticed the dark circles under the other woman’s eyes.

“What was this about?” Clarke questioned motioning to the graze she was taking care off.

Lexa quirked her brow at the blonde who was obviously talking to her again before she sighed the tiredness returning to her eyes and mind “The last days have been testing” she answered her voice sounding exhausted.

Clarke bit her lip “I am sorry if I added to that … I can be rather … volatile sometimes”.

Lexa looked almost surprised at the apology but she inclined her head in acceptance.

The last few days had given Clarke a new purpose and she was thankful for that, she felt more herself than she ever had since landing on earth. She was worried her people would make a big mistake concerning Charles Pike, but she had learnt about herself that she did not wish to lead, she wanted to heal.

Although she did not wish to be involved in politics anymore Clarke said “Pike will be a problem” her voice tinted with annoyance.

The commander sighed straightening herself and Clarke watched the woman in front of her change from Lexa to her commander persona in the blink of an eye and even just in her trousers and bindings the woman seemed to emit a certain power.

“Anya already told me” she said anger resurfacing in her own tone.

Clarke could not believe her own words when she suggested “Can’t you have him killed somehow?”

Lexa tilted her head slightly “If my memory serves me correct you were the one to tell me that I can’t simply kill all I do not trust” there was a slight tease in her voice before she added after an almost mute sigh “Which is true in his case. Ordering his death would only serve in Skykru questioning me further”. Lexa had already contemplated what to do and she was sure that killing the man would not work for her favour, at least she could not be the one to order it.

“I could speak with my mother” Clarke mused desperately thinking about how to solve the situation at hand with Pike. She knew it was bound to enter in disaster if Pike got handed the chancellor’s pin.

Lexa shook her head slightly at the blonde. Although Clarke had claimed not to be interested in leading that she was called to it was obvious to Lexa. She had also noticed how the blonde seemed to flourish in her position as a healer. It was rare among her people to see leaders that were also called to healing.

When Anya returned from the bath room having dressed in clean clothes as well the general checked on Marie. The girl immediately jostled at the gentle contact opening her eyes. Risha who had slept curled up on the girl’s legs also perked up, the wolf cub had barely seen her human awake in the last days and the smell of sickness was heavy on her.

Clarke’s musings were interrupted when Marie started coughing violently again as she woke up and the blonde got to work to prepare a new tea for the girl which usually served to dim the coughing for some time.

Clarke had promised Laurel to go out into the streets of Polis with her. The unexpected start of the cold season had many of the citizens getting sick and the healers needed all the helping hands they could get to take care of them.

“How long will it hurt like that?” Marie asked in a whiny tone when the older girl gave the tea.

Clarke smiled slightly at the young girl “It will take some time, Marie”.

The girl pouted but Anya prompted her to drink the tea ignoring her antics.

Clarke excused herself from the commander’s chambers.

After Marie had drunk up the cup of tea the girl settled down again but she did not seem that tired anymore “Can you read to me?” she asked of Lexa.

The commander had written a few things down in her journal but closed it at the question, her eyes felt tired and lying down on the bed sounded very appealing at the moment.

Anya frowned at Lexa and Marie. She thought the other woman should just lie down and finally sleep.

In the end Lexa barely managed to finish more than a few pages before she fell asleep lying next to Marie on the huge bed. But as Marie had also dozed off cuddled against Lexa’s chest Anya just smiled at the sight, relieved that both were resting again and plucked the book from the commander’s limp hands putting it aside. It was a true testament to Lexa’s exhaustion that she did not even twitch in the slightest when Anya removed the book and covered the sleeping woman with a fur. The general retreated to one of the couches to rest there for the night on silent feet.


	108. Chapter 108

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 107  
> Lexa is frustrated with the whole situation and Anya and her spar to give her the opportunity of an outlet. Clarke patches both Anya and Lexa up later. Lexa finally gets some well-deserved sleep.

Chapter 108

Lexa had been so exhausted from the previous days that she fortunately did not wake from every slight cough from Marie lying next to her during the night. Fortunately for both of them the girl’s fever did not resurface during the night, so that both of them were much more rested when the commander woke the next morning.

When Lexa slipped from the bed Marie was still fast asleep and the girl’s breathing still sounded rattling but her chest seemed to move slightly more normal again, indicating that their charge was indeed getting better and hopefully had pulled through the worst of her sickness.

Anya was also still asleep on the couch a fur draped over her sleeping form, while Risha stretched out her furred back on the bed and hopped down from the bed to follow Lexa on silent paws.

The little wolf cub followed the commander into the bathroom where Lexa quickly got ready for the day. She knew Alira would soon come to braid her hair for the day and serving breakfast for them. She was well aware that she had a long and probably testing day ahead of her.

Rumours of Charles Pike gaining power among the Sky people had spread through the ranks of the ambassadors and Lexa was aware that she could not ignore the impending threat much longer.

Her people were too focused on their right for blood and the probability of an open war to appreciate Skykru offering their superior medical techniques to them.

The commander had shortly discussed with Raven from the Sky people what else they might be able to offer and the brunette engineer had come up with a plausible idea. The other woman had assured her that she had seen enough scraps of old tech around the merchants’ stalls around Polis to be able to build what they called a radio. She had seen first-hand the advantages of this kind of tech, making it possible to communicate without the need of sending an actual messenger over longer distances. As advantageous as this tech was and she was sure that the ambassadors would be interested in it, she was also aware that it would not be enough to placate the worried minds calling for the blood of Skykru.

Anya was awoken by Lexa walking through her chambers and softly speaking to a guard, sending him away to implore with Raven if the radio was functional. The commander had scheduled an early meeting with all the ambassadors and the Skykru delegation. If the meeting failed, she would be sending Skykru from Polis immediately giving them an ultimatum on their leave.

The general silently noted that the commander looked much more rested now, the dark circles under her eyes still present but considerably lighter again. She hoped everything would settle again once Skykru left the capitol, tensions were running high at the moment with the invaders in their city.

Later Lexa had planned to take some time for her nightbloods again, feeling like she had been neglecting them for the last few days. If Marie’s fever did not return she could even have them brought into her chambers, the children had asked after Marie as they had heard guards speaking about her disappearance and the fact that she had fallen seriously ill.

Marie did not wake up when Alira knocked lightly on the door and carried in breakfast. The older handmaid quickly got to work with Lexa’s hair, needing only a few minutes to put the commander’s brown locks into their usual designs out of various intricate braids. The older handmaiden brought worrying reports with her. As it seemed there had been riots in a tavern late last night and Pike had obviously caused them. The Skykru delegation had mostly gone there to entertain themselves but Pike had either drunk too much or just spoke out what he really thought his tongue loosened by the consumption of their strong alcohol, insulting all of their people, their culture and their believes and traditions. He had claimed all of them to be lunatic barbaric sadists incapable of living like normal people. Word of the riots would have reached the ambassadors just like it had reached her own ears and the same anger she now felt cursing through her veins would be expected a reaction from the ambassadors as well.

Marie startled awake once Raven came bursting into the room. She blinked her grey eyes open coughing immediately as she did and looked around confused by the sudden loud voices filling the commander’s chambers.

Raven had been unceremoniously awoken by the guard the commander had sent to her assigned quarters and it was obvious the engineer was less than pleased to be woken before dawn.

The commander looked unimpressed by the short tempered woman holding in hand what could only be the radio they had spoken about, while Anya glared at the loud Skykru girl for waking Marie in such a fashion and helped their charge to sit up clapping her onto her back softly in an attempt to make her stop coughing.

“Does your contraption work?” the commander immediately asked Raven her green eyes sharp. She would not be accepting any disrespect from the Sky people any longer, she felt the other clans would start to question her next if she did not do something to placate them soon.

Raven had an annoyed expression on her face, but the engineer nodded pressing a button on her strange contraption and bringing the thing to her mouth speaking directly into it “Clarke, this is Rave, come in”.

Lexa raised her brow in silent question when nothing happened after a few moments.

Raven rolled her eyes before she repeated the process, speaking much louder this time “Princess, wake the fuck up!”

A crackling sound was emitted from the contraption before words came from it “Oh god! Raven! The sun has not even risen yet!”

Raven smirked “Sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep then, princess, but your commander wanted to see proof that my radios work”. It was obvious the engineer seemed to take personal offence from the fact that Lexa had wanted a demonstration before showing the radio to the clans

The commander narrowed her eyes at the other woman in warning “And you are able to replicate this?”

Raven had paled slightly under Lexa’s glare but nodded quickly in reassurance.

“You will be called when the meeting commences” Lexa simply dismissed the other woman her expression making it clear that Raven better kept silent now.

Raven quickly left the room swallowing down the smart retort she had had on the tip of her tongue, knowing it would not be appreciated here.

Marie pulled a sulky face when Anya handed her a steaming cup of tea, the concoction Clarke had come up with tasted horrible.

Anya narrowed her eyes at the girl “You will drink it, Marie and without any contradiction”.

Marie pouted giving the general her best innocent puppy eyes “It tastes horrible. I am feeling better” the girl insisted. The effect was destroyed when she started coughing again and only Anya’s quick reflexes had saved the tea from being spilled all over the furs.

Clarke entered the commander’s quarters in exactly this moment. Lexa had given the guards posted at her chambers the instructions to let the blonde Skykru leader enter as she pleased while Marie was sick and she was entrusted with her care, she would withdraw the open pass once Marie was healthy again.

The blonde directly went over to Marie still lying in Lexa’s bed. She smiled slightly at the girl, it was obvious by the alertness in her grey eyes that she in fact felt much better, but she knew that this could be deceptive. “Even though you do feel better right now and your fever is finally down again, that does not mean you are suddenly healthy again, Marie” she directly addressed the girl her tone strict “You will need to stay on strict bedrest for at least five more days and after that you will still need to take it easy for a few weeks actually. Or the infection can develop into a chronic condition easily”.

Marie’s face fell completely a pout pulling at her lips “I don’t wanna stay in bed and I am not tired anymore at all…” her voice had a whiny quality to it but Anya seemed to be completely immune to her antics and met her pleading eyes with brown unyielding ones.

“Drink your tea” Anya said voice forceful and pushing the cup back into the girl’s hand.

Marie must have sensed that trying to sway the general’s opinion would not work so the girl drank the tea although her reluctance was obvious.

Clarke hid a smirk from the girl by turning around, she had given instructions to have thin oatmeal prepared for the girl for breakfast. The girl must have lost some weight over the span off the last four days fevering strongly and not eating at all, so it was even more important to get her eating something substantial again as soon as possible.

She brought the bowl over to the bed putting it into Marie’s lap. Anya snatched Risha up from the bed who had watched the bowl like a hawk and jumped up when Clarke set it down, putting the cub to its obvious displeasure back onto the floor. Clarke had added a slight amount of honey to sweeten the unpleasant looking slurry.

“Are you hungry?” the blonde asked the young girl with a kind smile, but the girl immediately shook her head with a sullen expression. “You need to eat” Clarke informed Marie with a sigh “Your body has used up most of its reverses”. 

Marie accepted the bowl into her hands pushing the spoon around reluctantly without eating anything at all.

“Eat!” Anya almost growled at the girl who looked up with innocent eyes pouting strongly, but under the general’s constant glare the girl sighed eating a few spoons rapidly as if to say “see, I am eating”.

“I will come and check on her later” Clarke said to Anya and made to leave the room.

“Stay” Lexa ordered calmly. She had watched the exchange silently, lost in her own thoughts. She had decided on which terms she would demand Skykru to abide to and thought it prudent to inform Clarke of them before she heard them later from someone else and could cause a public scene.

Clarke stopped in her tracks turning around with a frown on her face.

“I will be meeting with the ambassadors and Skykru again now” Lexa informed the blonde and continued before the other woman could interrupt her “Skykru will either be incorporated into the coalition as the thirteenth clan under Markus Kane or leave my lands.”

Clarke was looking at the commander with widened eyes disbelieve clearly written on her face. It seemed to take her a moment to find words for her racing thoughts “You can’t be seriously thinking my people will accept that?”

Lexa met her heated gaze without batting an eyes “They will. Or they will leave. It is as simple as that. I offer them a place among my people, a chance to thrive, it is their choice to take it. If Pike comes into power among your people, there will be an open war and I assure you, your people will die should it come to that”.

“But …” Clarke started but stopped after a moment obviously furiously thinking “You said you want Skykru to enter the coalition …”

Lexa inclined her head in agreement “Yes, but that will not happen if the clans remain this hostile to the mere idea. I cannot force them to accept your people with a sound mind. The clans would turn against me, questioning me, my decisions and my strength. I will not put my own life in line to protect your people like that. They have proven to be too unreasonable and foolish for that”.

Clarke clenched her teeth together in frustration “I thought you could do what you want…” resentment was clear in her tone.

Lexa mutely met her stare before she said jutting out her chin slightly “I could force the other clans to accept Skykru, but at what price? It would only serve to increase the distrust and animosity if I am seen to favour your clan. I have to think about more than just your people”.

Clarke shoulders seemed to fall in resignation “So you are basically telling me to pack my things?” a slight tone of fear seemed to tint the young woman’s voice.

Lexa inclined her head slightly confusion flashing over her features.

Clarke huffed in obvious annoyance “If my people fail to meet your terms and I doubt they will agree like that, I will need to leave with me being Skykru”.

Lexa shook her head “Those of your people who chose to live by our laws and traditions will be welcomed in Polis or in any other clan who would be willing to take them as refugees.”

Clarke seemed to have reached some sort of decision and her voice was firmer again when she said “Thank you for informing me ahead, commander”.

Lexa inclined her head and watched the other woman leave her chambers without another word, it was hard for her to judge what Clarke might have been thinking.

Anya looked over to the commander with a contemplative expression on her features. Lexa had not discussed her decision with her before telling the blonde Sky leader but she saw the reason in them.

“The ambassadors will demand more than the promise of healing and this radios to accept Skykru willingly” Anya remarked.

Marie was still eating the porridge silently, once she had started eating she actually felt pretty hungry. She had listened to the conversation between Lexa and Clarke with a frown, unsure of what that would mean to Skykru. Marie had not been awake yet when Alira relayed her report so she had no idea what could have happened.

“I hope it will be enough” Lexa said although she had her doubts as well.

“They won’t relent until justice has been served. Pike has affronted all of us deeply” Anya said having heard Alira’s words herself. She had already thought Pike to be an absolute idiot but this exceeded even her own imagination.

“Blood must have blood” Lexa said her voice strong and eyes blazing to which Anya only inclined her head.

The commander left her chambers after nodding to Anya, the general would be staying with Marie for now her attendance not required for this gathering.

“What is happening?” Marie asked worry on her young face.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with” Anya retorted taking the finally empty bowl from the girl’s hands.

“But what if Skykru and the coalition are in a war…” Marie started her brows creased in thought “… what about me then?” The girl’s voice painfully reflected her insecurities at the moment.

Anya met her worried grey eyes slightly tilting her head “What about you?”

“I am Skykru” the girl retorted as if it was obvious what she thought.

Anya sighed under her breath before she made the girl look at her face now understanding what their charges supposed problem was “If the coalition attacks Skykru we will be at war. But you will be with us. You may be born of Skykru, but you will forever be with us now, no matter what will happen between the clans and Skykru, it will not change anything for you”.

Of course the general knew that would not be completely true. The girl was bound to be influenced by her people’s annihilation on a mental level, but it would not change her place as her own and the commander’s second.

Marie seemed relieved and nodded letting out a long breath which promptly turned into a yawn.

“Not tired at all?” Anya echoed the girl’s earlier words with a raised brow to which Marie looked rather sheepish.

In fact it did only take Marie a few minutes to doze off again, Anya merely adjusted the pillows around the girl tucking the furs around her small frame.

The meeting seemed to take longer than expected and Lexa’s mood was difficult to assess once the commander returned to her chambers followed by Titus on her heels.

Flamekeeper and commander seemed to be locked in a heated discussion and it took Anya a moment to decipher what they were discussing about. The meeting had as it seemed ended on an irresolute note. Skykru seemed to have begged for a few days of time to discuss their options and how they wanted to proceed. The clans had been rather reluctant to accept such but they had been appeased by Lexa calling out various terms to Skykru. She demanded amends for the village that had been burnt weeks ago and for the bridge which had been destroyed and had been an important route for vendors and for Charles Pike offending their very way of living.

The Skykru delegation had left or were at least packing to leave in the next hour, save for Pike. Lexa had assumed it prudent to put the man under arrest for the time being. She did not trust Skykru to make rash decisions and she wanted him removed from them immediately.

The flamekeeper was obviously completely against her side of the terms, mainly offering them a place within the coalition. But she had already proclaimed it, so they would be, if they were to choose this option. It was evident the man was angry the most about the fact that he had not been told in advance.

Lexa’s patience with the man seemed to reach its limit as she seethed at him “You are an advisor, flamekeeper, you do not hold commander over me!” her voice was forceful and her green eyes blazing dangerously.

The man seemed to take a step back at the fire burning in her eyes and he lowered his head in a sign of submission.

“You can go!” the commander snarled at the bald man who retreated immediately “And bring the nightbloods to me within the hour” she called behind him before the doors to her chambers fell shut behind him.

Marie had woken at the raised voices and looked rather alarmed at the unexpected outburst of the commander.

“When will the decision be expected?” Anya asked Lexa once the woman had turned to face them turmoil still flashing over her features.

“In five days” Lexa answered “Pike will die at dawn and Skykru will deliver their decision then”.


	109. Chapter 109

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with the next chapter =) Sorry that I take slightly longer to update now, but my progress in writing has become slower as well.
> 
> Previously in chapter 108  
> The situation with Skykru has gotten worse with the clans because of Pike. Lexa tells Clarke of the ultimatum for Skykru which is to make Kane chancellor or leave the Kongeda’s land before she proclaims it before the ambassadors.

Chapter 109

Clarke stormed into the commander’s quarters just shortly after Titus had been dismissed. It was obvious the blonde woman was in a hurry, her strides were long and breathing elated, she had already dressed for travel in warm clothes as well obviously ready to depart from Polis in a moment.

Marie was still blinking sleepily her mind obviously still not awake yet.

Lexa had turned around to face Clarke her face an unreadable stony mask as she said “So you have chosen your side”. It was not voiced as a question but rather as a statement. Anya could easily spot the tale tell signs that Lexa was slightly disappointed by Clarke’s choice to leave Polis with her people.

Clarke immediately shook her head her blue eyes once again fiery and determined  “This is not goodbye” she said her voice grave with a variety of emotion. “I will make them see reason” Clarke promised seriously.

Lexa inclined her head slightly offering her forearm to the other woman to claps in the way warriors did to signify honour for the other. Clarke stepped closer and gingerly took the commander’s forearm the way she had seen it done by other grounders. Both women were locked in their gazes as if they were conveying through their eyes where words failed them at the moment.

Marie starting to cough broke their intimate moment abruptly and a faint blush covered Clarke’s cheeks as she caught sight of Anya’s barely hidden knowing smirk.

“Is executing Pike really necessary?” Clarke asked after a moment of silence her features twisted into a grimace. Even though Lexa had told her that she would demand it, Clarke had still hoped that he could get a milder punishment. The other girl had not been present at the meeting but someone from the delegation of her people must have told her what had been said and how the ambassadors had reacted.

Lexa just mutely nodded to the blonde leader her face once again perfectly blank.

Clarke sighed breathing out forcefully before she straightened and nodded to Lexa as well before she said “I will return with Skykru’s acceptance to enter the coalition, commander” her voice had something official to it before she smiled slightly “I have left my things here” she paused eyes almost hopeful “I will return!” With that words the blonde turned on the spot casting one last lasting glance at the commander and nodded shortly to Anya before she swept from the room.

Anya had a contemplative expression on her face after the doors fell shut behind Clarke.

When Marie’s coughing did not ease after a few moments Anya stood up from the chair next to the bed and prepared a new batch of tea for Marie. They had started to add more honey to the concoction or Marie was now almost impossible to convince to drink it at all.

Risha was lying on the huge bed together with Marie and the girl was giggling slightly, when she was not in the process of coughing, while playing with the cub.

Marie accepted the fresh cup of tea with a pout glancing shortly at the commander in the obvious hope the other woman might spare her from having to drink the horrible tea.

But Lexa seemed to be lost in her own thoughts while she shrugged out of her armour, discarding most of the regalia of the commander in the process.

Anya’s lips thinned into a harsh line as she forcefully pushed the cup into the girl’s hands and her voice was strict “You will not make me talk out with you if you are going to drink the tea or not. It is your medicine and it helps, so no matter what it tastes like, you are going to drink it and without the slightest bit of protest until you are healthy again, Marie”

Marie looked reprimanded and promptly took a sip of the tea only for her features to twist into a grimace of distaste and the pout also returning to her face.

The general lifted a hand to silence the girl’s upcoming protests glaring slightly at their charge “It is your own fault you are sick in the first place. You would not be sick at all, had you stayed inside the tower…” her voice was heavy with accusation now “…where you were supposed to have been”.  Anger flashed up in her brown eyes briefly at the thought that it had been sort of pure luck she had found the girl at all, had things played out differently their charge would probably have been killed by queen Nia already. The girl now looked completely abashed, lowering her eyes to the furs with her lower lip slightly trembling suspiciously as if she would burst into tears any moment. Anya sighed under her breath her features softening again calming herself with a deep breath before she squeezed Marie’s shoulder in silent reassurance. The girl’s grey eyes were swimming with unshed tears when she lifted her gaze.

Lexa had also come over to the bed and looked down at Marie with serious green eyes, the commander gently wiped the first tear falling from the girl’s eyes away “There is no need to cry, Marie” she reassured their charge as she set down on the edge of the bed “You have made a grave and foolish error by leaving the safety of the tower. But you are lucky to be alive to learn from it now”.

Marie nodded with a gulp. She had already understood that she had indeed been in mortal danger after Ontari had abducted her from Polis and she knew it was her own foolishness that had brought her into the situation in the first place.

The commander and her general bandied looks for a moment, Anya inclining her head subtly, before Lexa spoke up again. “Although your sickness is already punishment enough” the commander started her voice firm “You did broke our trust by breaking a rule put in place for your own safety. So after your bedrest, as long as we cannot trust you to remain in the places you are allowed to go, you will be staying with either of us, constantly.”

Marie seemed to contemplate the words before she nodded mutely a slight frown on her face.

But Lexa had not finished yet “And believe me, if you ever do something as foolish as that again, the consequences will be more severe”.

“I won’t” Marie quickly reassured voice honest and eyes clearly showing her guilt.

“See that you don’t” Anya pressed again, but even though their charge immediately nodded her head in eager agreement they were both aware that this was not something the girl could truly promise. She was still a child and she was bound to break other rules sometimes, but hopefully not in situations which would most likely kill her.

Marie started to cough again and Anya promptly glared at the cup still in the girl’s hands which was not even half finished yet.

“Where would Skykru go, if they leave your lands?” Marie mused after a big gulp from the tea obviously trying hard to supress a shudder at the tea, when the concoction cooled it became even bitterer. She had no idea if the council would want to be ruled by Lexa, they had not been overly friendly to the warriors when they had been at the Ark. Marie also knew from her very basic politic lessons from the Ark that the chancellor had always been elected and never just appointed as someone.

“The most likely is crossing the dead zone” Lexa answered “There is unclaimed land to be found there, but the journey is long and dangerous. Crossing the desert holds many unexpected dangers. But the other unclaimed lands lay beneath all other clans and Skykru would need to cross land from nearly all their clans on their path”.

“Are there other people?” Marie asked next her brow furrowed in thought.

“Beside the clans?” Lexa checked guessing what their charge was aiming at and when Marie nodded Lexa answered “There are reports of sightings of people living beneath the death zone and the Plain Riders and the Glowing Forest have also seen signs of other people when they leave their borders. But contact is rare”.

Since the clans had started to organize themselves under the united banner of the coalition contact to other tribes beyond their lands had gotten even fewer with the backup of the other clans to protect their borders.

“And the rest of the world?” Marie asked curiously. She could remember seeing a map of the old world before the bombs fell and most of the surface of the world had been heavily populated. So much that the countries had started to try to establish living quarters in space, which had been the reason the Ark had already been in space when the bombs ended the world.

Lexa had just opened her mouth to answer when there was a knock on the doors to her chambers, she knew it would be Titus bringing the conclave to her like she had ordered him to.

Marie’s expectant gaze had turned to Anya instead when Lexa stood to greet the nightblood children who slowly filed into the commander’s quarters. Anya snorted slightly before she shook her head “No one has probably travelled a great distance beyond the clan lands. It is possible that other areas are still habited.”

The children had varying degrees of wonder on their faces when they took in the grand rooms around them. Besides Aden who had been in these rooms once just after Lexa had risen to take commander and Aden had been the only nightblood not old enough to participate in her conclave, none of them had ever been invited into Lexa’s private quarters, the commander opting to keep their lessons restricted to official places.

Lexa watched how Thalu and Aden were both flanking Boo who noticeably looked more frightened than curious. The commander had asked her oldest nightbloods to look out for their new addition before the redhead could try to run away again. The boy’s dark eyes lit up starkly when he spotted Marie sitting in the furs.

Once all of them had entered the commander’s quarters Titus left without another word and the nightbloods all respectfully chorused a greeting to their commander and the general.

The commander ordered the group of children to find a place to sit down. Most of children just sat on the floor where they were standing and Lexa was surprised that Boo went around her keeping suspicious eyes on her the whole time before he stepped closer to the bed. He whispered a few words to Marie and Lexa assumed it to be an apology, the young boy had obviously felt guilty for what had happened to the older girl after she had helped him.

It was obvious that Boo did not dare to actually get up on the bed with Anya just sitting next to it, although the woman had schooled her features into a blank mask she still looked anything but welcoming to the young boy. Kyla who had watched Boo walk over to the bed seemed to think for a moment before she rose from her spot on the ground and without any hesitation just went past Boo and immediately climbed onto the huge bed. Lexa could see Anya’s hands twitching slightly ready to catch the girl should she fail in climbing the high piece of furniture. When nothing negative had happened after a moment Boo obviously straightened his shoulders and followed the other girl onto the bed his little fingers darting out to pet the wolf cub as soon as he was close enough.

Risha initially ducked her head slightly under the unknown fingers but a few moments later the cub had crawled up laying down between Boo and Kyla relishing the attention as both were now enthusiastically stroking the animal’s soft fur.

Lexa waited expectedly for Ryno to decide if he wanted to join the others or not, it was not hard to read in his roundish face that he longed to. With a small smile pulling at her lips Lexa gestured to the brunette boy to follow the example of his brother and sister and with twinkling brown eyes he leapt up from his spot and joined the other two. His movements were slightly uncoordinated and Anya quick in her reflexes steadied the small boy when he stumbled over his own feet directly front of the bed.

The other nightbloods all seemed satisfied to remain in the places they had chosen before so Lexa on the free edge of the bed slightly behind Marie enabling her to still look at all the nightblood children scattered around the bed. Marie immediately leaned against her side and Lexa placed an arm around the girl’s frame pulling her tighter against herself as she did so.

It was apparent that the nightblood children were all wondering why they were in her quarters exactly, although she had always tried to be relaxed rather than overly strict with them, she had always only seen their for their lessons, keeping a certain distance between the children and herself.

Lexa begun by asking the children how their last days had been as she had not been able to see any of them being to occupied with her other duties.

It quickly became obvious that the older nightbloods were confused due to the changes regarding Titus. They had already spent a lot of time with the man and they had of course noticed that they now saw him less being introduced to other and younger flamekeepers as well simultaneously. The change and what it meant worried them.

Lexa was as quick to reassure them that Titus would be focusing on other duties from now on. The commander noted how her three oldest and the two youngest seemed to be the most relieved at the confirmation. She herself remembered that Titus usually focused either on the youngest, forcing them to adapt as quickly as possible to the life of a novitiate, or on the oldest novitiates, constantly pushing them beyond their limits and being relentless with them for minor faults.

“I like Rana” Nymo commented helpfully. Rana was the young flamekeeper which now took care of the nightbloods through the day so that Titus only ever saw them to their lessons anymore. The young woman was born from Trikru. They had never spoken about liking Titus but it was glaringly obvious that the children all seemed to agree in their dislike for the bald man.

They also spoke about Boo and Marie and what both of them had done wrong. Both children looked rebuked but the commander also made sure to highlight that through making a bad decision they had the best chances to realize how to make a better one in the future.

Kyla sometimes very thoughtful for her young age asked if Lexa had done a gravely wrong decision as a novitiate herself.

The commander nodded with a sad expression on her features an old memory resurfacing. She had seen nine summers so being the same age as Marie was now when it had happened.

A fellow nightblood brother a summer older than her and she had made a sort of sport of sneaking away from the tower at night to go to the stream near the city. Titus had nearly constantly scolded them after they came to their morning training session tired from missing out on sleep. But that had not spoiled their fun at all and they returned for many nights, when the cold season came and the stream started to freeze close they made it a test of courage to inch onto the thin ice as far as they dared. Lexa could clearly remember that they had been told not to go there once the cold season had started. The stream was wide with a strong current so that the complete stream did not freeze until late into the cold season. They had of course not listened but her nightblood brother had died because of their foolishness. They had ignored all warnings and the boy had wanted to impress her sliding onto ice just to the edge where the water was still flowing strongly. Lexa could sharply remember his surprised yell as the ice gave under him falling into the icy current in the blink of an eye. Lexa had panicked trying to get to her friend trying to help him out but once she had reached the spot he had broken into the ice there was no trace of him. The current had already pulled his body far away and his screams quickly stopped being audible. Lexa had run back to the city with tears falling from her eyes shouting for help long before she reached the tower. The guards had found the boy’s corpse three days later miles from the city washed ashore.

The commander and Titus both had been incredibly furious with her blaming her entirely for her fellow brother’s death. She had been separated from the nightbloods of her conclave for a few weeks being kept under guard and Titus had been violent with her, making her miss training for almost two weeks until she could move her sore body well enough to participate again.

The children around her all looked abashed and Marie’s eyes glittered with unshed tears burrowing deeper against Lexa’s body.

Lexa banished the sad expression from her face turning serious again stressing again how important on one’s survival one single decision could be. The children all nodded their consent. She changed the topic to Ontari. Lexa knew that her novitiates had already heard of the arrival of the older nightblood girl from Azgeda and she could see some of them pale clearly afraid of what could have happened.

Thalu wanted to know if they should expect the other girl to join them in their training but the commander had truthfully answered that she did not know yet. Lexa had not made a decision regarding her yet, so she could not tell when Ontari would join them or if she never would. The older nightbloods soon discussed between themselves what they would decide if it was their decision to make. Lexa listened to them intently, while Aden and Thalu obviously were not sure on how to proceed Kato’s opinion was steadfast; he would have killed her on the spot. Aden and Thalu listened to his reasoning with a furrowed brow obviously not agreeing, debating that the other nightblood deserved some sort of chance to proof her right among them.

When Lexa switched the topic of their discussion from Ontari to what was happening with Skykru and Pike Kato’s opinion was the most extreme again, agreeing with the clans to march against Skykru as soon as possible not giving them a chance to integrate. Saria seemed indecisive but would order an attack as a precaution but agreeing with the others to give Skykru members who would not pick up any weapons a chance to integrate with the clans. Even their opinions varied if Skykru should be offered a place in the coalition or not they all seemed to agree instantly that Pike would need to die, stressing that people like him would make peace between the clans and Skykru impossible.

Lexa listened on to their lively discussions with pride in her eyes. The children were arguing way more soundly than a lot of the ambassadors ever did, making it obvious how much they had learned under their tutelage as novitiates already.

Lexa sent the nightbloods from her quarters when she felt Marie’s body slacking against her side, the girl had obviously fallen asleep in her arms. Ryno, Kyla and Boo also looked close to falling asleep any moment and the sun had already set ending another long day.


	110. Chapter 110

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 109  
> Clarke proclaims to Lexa to fix the situation with Skykru and return to Polis afterwards. Lexa has a lesson with her novitiates inside of her quarters.

Chapter 110

Anya watched silently how the nightblood children obediently filed out of the commander’s quarters bidding her and Lexa a polite good night. It was obvious to the general how deeply the affection from the nightbloods to Lexa ran and most of them seemed to have adapted a similar way of thinking to their model. It worried her slightly that Kato seemed to openly disagree with most of the decisions Lexa had discussed with the conclave.

If the commander were to fall that very day and Kato the one to succeed her onto the throne Anya had no doubts that the coalition would crumble shortly after. But on another note she feared that none of them would be able to keep the clans together.

Lexa carefully pushed Marie down on the bed completely gently lying a hand on her forehead to feel for the girl’s temperature. The commander frowned when she found the skin slightly heated and clammy to the touch worry flashing over her features.

Laurel had left the instructions for another concoction to help lower a slight fever just in case Marie’s fever resurfaced and Anya already stood up from the chair. The older woman had seen the worry ghost over Lexa’s face and no further explanation had been needed.

The commander shook their charge’s shoulder slightly to rouse the girl again when Anya returned to the bed with another cup in her hand.

Marie was obviously only half awake and her grey eyes remained unfocused. Only after a great amount of gentle coaxing from the commander did the girl finally drink the tea. Lexa had slipped on the bed next to Marie and pulled the girl’s upper body against herself tilting her chin back and nearly forcing the tea down her throat. The girl drifted off into an uneasy sleep again as soon as Lexa had had her empty the cup.

Anya sighed “It seems it will take her some time longer to get back to health”. The general had hoped that with the initial high fever breaking they had surpassed the most difficult and severe part of the girl’s illness and she would now improve daily.

Although Clarke had cautioned them that pneumonia was not an easy disease and that Marie would need many more weeks to heal completely Anya had hoped that the other girl had been wrong in her assessment, but as it seemed she had not.

Lexa nodded similar thoughts rushing through her mind, but the situation with Skykru kept on bugging her relentlessly. It would be a waste if she had to call for the armies of the twelve clans to march against Skykru with the intent to annihilate their whole people. Even though their numbers were small Lexa knew that their knowledge and tech could be valuable to all of her people.

The commander had desperately hoped that now after they had felled their greatest enemy peace could finally blossom in the lands of the coalition. But peace seemed to dwindle into a distant future with the clans loudly calling for Skykru’s blood.

Lexa looked down at the sleeping girl in her bed and felt a painful pang in her heart. If there would be war Marie would need to march against the people she had been born to. She hoped Clarke would miraculously be successful in her scheme to make her people join the coalition voluntarily. The commander highly doubted that the blonde leader would even consider seeking refuge with her people opting instead to fight against the coalition’s armies.

Lexa would not put it past Skykru to try something idiotic out of desperation and she doubted it would sit well with them that one of their own was incarcerated in Polis at the moment awaiting his execution.

Lexa looked up from Marie’s sleeping form and met Anya’s probing gaze, she had felt her general’s eyes on her the whole time she had been silent in her thought but Anya had simply waited for her to make up her mind.

“Have an urgent messenger sent to Indra” Lexa ordered. TonDC was the next bigger settlement close to Skykru and would be better locate to keep watch over them.

“I want to know all movement in the Skykru settlement” Lexa continued.

Anya raised a brow at the younger woman “You think they will lash out?”

Lexa cocked her head slightly in thought “A desperate enemy is a dangerous enemy and Skykru have never made rational decisions so far. I would not put it past them and I don’t know how high Clarke’s chances to convince them really are”.

Anya nodded and turned around to carry out her orders when Lexa added as an afterthought “And the security around the streets and the tower will remain increased”.

Lexa checked Marie’s temperature again and it did not seem to have changed yet. With a sigh Lexa thought that it at least had not risen even higher.

The girl stirred slightly under the light touch to her forehead and Lexa shrugged out of the rest of her clothes slipping under the furs next to Marie. Blinking her eyes open Marie immediately scooted over to Lexa and cuddled against her chest with a contented sigh.

Lexa stayed awake and alert until Anya returned to her chambers some time later. The general nodded mutely telling her commander that her orders had been carried out.

Anya joined Lexa and their charge in the bed a few moments later. Now that Marie was not caught in the deep fevered dreams she had suffered the previous nights both of them were sure that her normal nightmares would return full force. They had no idea if being abducted from Polis with force had created new nightmares but both agreed it was probable and that Marie obviously would continue to need both of them at her side.

On the next morning Lexa slipped out of the furs long before dawn. Marie was still cuddled to her and Lexa carefully entangled herself from the girl tearing a whining noise of protest from their charge. Lexa smiled down slightly at the girl still trying to hold on to her body while the shuffling noises had already awoken Anya.

The general gently pulled Marie still more asleep than awake away from Lexa. Her own duties would not start until a few hours later, Anya knew that Lexa had scheduled an early training lesson with the older nightbloods and afterwards a meeting with the ambassadors as not all of them had been satisfied with Lexa’s solution to their demand of blood.

Fortunately Marie’s fever had not spiked fully again during the night allowing her to sleep through most of the hours. She had occasionally started to squirm when a nightmare started to form in her mind but either Anya or Lexa had been quick to calm her down again.

Lexa quickly dressed into clothing suitable for a training session. It had been some time now that she had last seen her nightblood children fight as she had been too occupied with other things to spare time to actually oversee their training.

The guards around the tower were still nearly doubled in their number and they all bowed respectfully to her when she stepped out of her chambers.

The streets of Polis were still mostly empty the citizens not risen from their beds yet. Snow had continued to fall and everything was covered in a lightly glistening layer of snow.

Rana was waiting with her four oldest nightblood novitiates. All four of them stood proudly next to the flamekeeper already armed with swords of their choice. The young woman nodded lowly to the commander and strode back in the direction of the tower.

Lexa greeted her novitiates and took up one of her own swords signalling Aden over to her swinging her sword around to loosen her wrists. Their swords connected with a resonating loud clanging sound and their training began.

Two hours later when the sun rose Lexa closed their training session. She sent all four of them back to the tower sure that all of them would be needing to see a healer. She had not gone easy on any of them and had been impressed to see their progress. Lexa felt blood trickling down her side slicking her shirt to her back where Aden had gotten a hit in. The blonde boy had made the biggest progress and she thought that he would be able to follow on her throne if needed.

Lexa had planned to meet with the ambassadors sometime later but she had finished their training lesson earlier than she had anticipated, freeing a few hours of her time.

The commander made her way back into the tower just as the streets around her were starting to fill with vendors to open their stalls in the market. Guards were still in the middle of the process to remove the snow from the streets which had fallen through the night and although the air hung with moisture it was not snowing at the moment.

The halls of the tower were also already bustling with handmaidens walking from room to room to fulfil their respective duties, breakfast was delivered to guests and beds were made, bathes were prepared and others carried messages to their destination. Lexa immediately was able to spot those handmaidens which had not worked in the tower long; their eyes seemed to get impossibly wide when they recognized who she was bowing extremely deep for her in exaggerated respect.

On impulse the commander left the elevator on the floor which housed the prisoners. Although she was not dressed in her full commander regalia the gold gear sitting on her forehead clearly identified who she was. Maybe it was even a good idea to meet Ontari first without the heavy armour of the commander.

The guards immediately stood to attention once she stepped foot on this particular floor. In passing Lexa noted that their numbers were still increased. The room a guard immediately pointed out to her was also guarded with additional two guards. Lexa mutely noted to ask Anya if she truly thought it necessary to post two additional guards.

Lexa motioned to them to open the door and she straightened her back before she entered the room. As the commander Lexa was aware that all the rooms which housed prisoners had the same layout and the same furniture. A simple bed, a small table and a stool. If the prisoners were more trustworthy they might be granted excess to a balcony but with Ontari the probability of her possibly trying to use a balcony for an escape route had been too high. The window of the room was small and warded by bars making an escape impossible through the small opening.

The dark haired nightblood girl sat at the table and the stool was positioned in a way that she had her back to a wall and her eyes trained on the door. There was a plate with some breakfast in front of her on the table which looked completely untouched.

The girl’s dark eyes glittered up at her clear of any fever “So you have come to kill me now?” there was a mocking edge to her tone but Lexa noted a slight quiver as well to it. It was obvious the younger girl was afraid but would never admit to it either.

Lexa stared down at the nightblood meeting her angry gaze unfazed waiting for a moment silence falling heavily between them. The commander asked after another moment voice sharp and eyes unreadable “Do you wish to die then?”

Ontari’s dark eyes flashed with an emotion too quick for Lexa to put a name on until they were masked once again. It seemed as if Ontari chose to remain silent instead of giving a verbal answer.

But Lexa would not have that, she knew that if Ontari wanted to have the slightest chance to integrate into Polis she would need to be honest with her so she simply waited in silence her green eyes boring down onto Ontari.

The next thing easily identifiable on her face was frustration; her eyes flashed and she ground her teeth together her jaw tense and posture rigid before she huffed.

Her answer was barely audible as Ontari breathed a “no”.

If Lexa were to announce Ontari as an official new addition to the conclave the Ice Nation nightblood would be enabled to challenge her for the throne of the commander. This particular law had been passed by a commander before her who had gotten his position by doing exactly that. The young man had been a better fighter than the current Heda and knew that he had a fair chance at a duel, challenged the commander and had won taking up the place of his predecessor.

“Good” the commander nodded letting some warmth infuse her cold stare.

Doubtfully Ontari raised a brow at the commander clearly second-guessing the other woman’s notice.

Lexa stared down at her fixing her with her probing gaze for a moment before she said voice important “You are correct that as a nightblood it is your blood right to one day compete in the conclave for the throne of the commander. I do not doubt you possess the combat skills needed for that but if you possess the political tact remains to be seen. Nia will have probably told you that as an official novitiate you will not be able to challenge me to a duel. You will have to wait for the conclave to come to pass after my death.”

Ontari’s expression clearly conveyed her confusion and also her open scepticism that Lexa was even considering to let her life. Her dark eyes were cautious but there seemed to be a question burning in them.

“You are free to speak your mind” Lexa remarked voice even and face honest.

The younger woman let out an indignant snort “So you will have me killed in training” she said brows raised mockingly.

Lexa thinned her lips in silent irritation before she took a deep breath “If I wanted to kill you, I would do so now and not go through all the trouble of finding out if you can be trustworthy”.

“Trustworthy?” Ontari retorted ironically.

Lexa nodded solemnly “Of course you will not be integrated with the other novitiates like that. You will have to prove that you can be trusted, before that you will remain under guard and receive only single lessons”.

“So I am still a prisoner than?” the nightblood girl wanted to know eyes blazing angrily.

The commander stared her down calmly “We both know why you have been in Polis. You have not managed to take me out or to assassinate the other novitiates”

Ontari glared up at her with the expression of a petulant child not getting their will silently seething in her anger at the reminder of her failure. But they were both aware of why she had come to Polis of course, running into the blonde sky girl had been a pure coincidence.

“So you are going to remain under guard until the moment you can prove that I can trust you” Lexa repeated voice strong “You can believe me, Ontari, I do not wish to kill you and waste a nightblood, but I will not hesitate if you remain a threat to me or my legacy”.

Ontari ground her teeth together audibly and Lexa feared she would break a tooth if she bit down any harsher.

“Your training starts tomorrow at dawn” Lexa proclaimed fixing the younger woman with another stare before she nodded and turned around from her. Ontari speaking up suddenly halted her retreat from the room.

“The girl…” Ontari asked her voice free of any malice and Lexa turned back slightly glancing over her shoulder to look at the girl’s face. She could only detect honest empathy in her expression as Ontari continued sounding uncharacteristically kind “… I heard the guards speaking about your second being ill …” the girl’s voice trailed off and her dark eyes were the most expressive Lexa had yet seen them.

The commander turned back around fully to be able to carefully watch the other girl and she nodded “She is, but she will live”.

Relieve seemed to flash momentarily over Ontari’s features and Lexa thought she had heard her exhale loudly in addition.

Something kept Lexa from leaving the room. Thus far she had only heard a very basic description of what had transpired between the nightblood girl and their charge. It seemed that Marie had somehow managed to form a weird connection with Ontari for her to actually ask after her openly where she did seem inclined to talk at all on anything else.

“What had you planned to do with Marie once you had gotten her out of Polis?” Lexa questioned her posture tense and rigid although she already knew the answer.

“Bring her to my queen” Ontari answered but Lexa noted that the words lacked a certain conviction and the other girl seemed to frown slightly.

“Would you do it now?” Lexa propped into her obvious hesitation.

Ontari opened her mouth as if to shot out an answer before she looked away glaring at the wall as if trying to set it aflame.

“She has created a life debt between you by saving your life” Lexa observed in a matter of fact tone.

Ontari ground her teeth together again before she huffed in obvious agitation “Yes she has” she begrudgingly admitted and her expression turned thoughtful brows furrowed deeply “I don’t understand why she saved me at all. It makes no sense that she would save me”

Her dark eyes glittered with frustration and it was obvious the girl must have thought about the matter without end through the last days and had still not found an explanation to what Marie had done.

“How has she saved you?” Lexa asked. Anya had retold her what Marie had said to her in the cave but afterwards she did not have the opportunity to speak with Marie herself.

Ontari seemed to think for a moment if she wanted to answer or not gnawing at her lower lip. Lexa waited patiently for her to make up her mind very much aware of the fact that this conversation would be setting the tone for their further interactions. If Ontari now chose to be honest and open it would be way easier to start to try to trust her, but if she kept silent or even worse lied it would put every word that came from her mouth to doubt.

“One of your guards managed to stab me when I tried to get into the tower” Ontari admitted as if the voice left a foul taste in her mouth “I had heated a dagger to seal to wound, but I had lost more blood than I thought. I fainted …” the girl trailed off for a moment and the frustrated confusion returned to her face “… the girl got away, but she returned, sealing the wound shut for me and forcing me to drink”.

The commander nodded her head mutely with a contemplative expression. The story matched what Anya had told her so Ontari had obviously spoken the truth. “And what would you have done?” Lexa asked after another silent moment.

Ontari furrowed her brows again “If I had been the prisoner?” she checked and when Lexa nodded in confirmation Ontari’s features twisted darkly “I would not have been that foolish”.

“So it was foolish of her to save your life?” Lexa retorted in an innocent tone eyes inquiring.

Ontari snorted again a light sneer on her face “What else could it have been?!”

“Marie has a unique way of thinking “Lexa commented vaguely folding her hands behind her back and feeling a painful tug in her side reminding her of her injury. She could partly understand that Marie might have believed to need Ontari to survive the night out in the wild but otherwise she had to agree with both Anya and Ontari that their charge’s decision had been slightly foolish.

“I have one last question before your lessons will begin tomorrow” Lexa addressed Ontari again and the girl’s dark eyes turned to her immediately “What would you do with the coalition if you become commander today?”

Ontari blinked at her a moment before she answered her voice slightly tinged with insecurities “Have Ice Nation take over, like Trikru …”

Lexa interrupted her with a rise of her hand “You think Trikru rules the coalition?” Although her face remained blank she felt a flash of anger, she had never favoured her own clan just because she had been born into it after forming the coalition.

“You are commander” Ontari commented with a sneer as if that explained everything.

Lexa sighed under her breath “You have much to learn still, Ontari”.


	111. Chapter 111

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 110  
> Marie’s fever resurfaces slightly and Lexa has the security around Polis and the tower kept on high alter sending scouts to TonDC to keep watch of Skykru. In the morning Lexa trains with the oldest nightbloods and speaks with Ontari later.

Chapter 111

Anya woke to the feeling of soft little fingers gently ghosting over the scar on her abdomen left by the bullet that had teared through her upper body. Marie’s fingers were still free of callouses that marked her own fingers from the endless hours spent wielding weapons in training. As Marie’s temperature had still been elated during the nights the furs had been heated too much for Anya’s liking and she had shrugged out of the shirt leaving her only in her bindings covering her chest and a pair of shorts and she had also kicked down some of the furs during the night still feeling to warm exposing her abdomen to the cool air around them.

Marie’s grey eyes were once again clear and focused and a sheepish smile formed on her face when the girl noticed that Anya had awoken under her touch stopping the fluttering movements of her fingers immediately.

The general gently checked the girl’s forehead breathing a silent sigh of relieve at finding the skin once again normal to the touch. Both Lexa and she had been worried that their charge’s fever would return full force during the night.

“I had not wanted to wake you…” Marie said softly her expression clearly remorseful trying to supress a cough.

Anya waved off the girl’s senseless apology. She had not noticed being so tired still and had not intended to sleep at all after Lexa left but now the sun was already peeking through the curtains basking the room in a soft light indicating clearly that the day had started.

“Does it still hurt?” Marie asked in a worried tone her grey eyes still focused on the scar clearly visible on Anya’s body.

Anya shook her head “No” she reassured quickly. She had not felt anything in the still forming scar tissue after Marie had healed her wounds when they had found Clarke. She just now noticed that Marie healing her obvious wounds from that day must have also completely healed the gunshot scar which now clearly seemed to be years old instead of a few weeks. She internally filed that information away to speak about it with Lexa.

The alertness in Marie’s grey eyes already told Anya that she would have a hard time trying to keep the girl resting in bed the whole day. Although the girl would probably tire quickly she was obviously wide awake now and all traces off fatigue were wiped from her features for now, only the coughing and still slightly rattling breathing showing for the remaining sickness in her body.

Anya pulled the shirt from the floor still lying next to the bed after she had thrown it down last night pulling it over her head and shivering slightly at the coldness of the fabric. “Are you hungry?” she asked Marie after dressing into warmer trousers as well, before the girl could open her mouth to give an articulated answer her stomach gave the response rumbling loudly.

Marie frowned looking down at her stomach with furrowed brows while Anya strode through the room a smile tugging at her lips. The general told the guards to have a handmaid prepare breakfast for them and as an afterthought she also asked for a bath to be prepared. During her fever the girl had only been washed or bathed in cold water to bring down her temperature so a bath was in order.

Marie had set up upright in the bed when Anya returned to her side “You should have woken me if you are this hungry” the general reprimanded lightly.

“I wasn’t hungry before” Marie claimed in a huffed tone “Honest” she added when Anya just looked down at her doubtingly.

When Marie was obviously still trying to supress her coughs Anya busied herself with preparing a new batch of tea for the girl. Still remembering the scolding from the previous day Marie accepted the steaming cup of tea with only a slight grimace on her face.

After a moment Marie asked in a thoughtful tone “Do you get used to not feeling hungry?”

Anya blinked down at the girl for a moment in stunned silence caught off guard by the girl’s out of the blue question. “I suppose so” Anya answered vaguely “Why do you ask?”

Marie shrugged as the only answer and Anya glared lightly at her, she had told her numerous times that she did not care one bit for shrugging as a way to answer. When she looked up and caught the glare directed her way Marie elaborated “Feeling hungry has never really hurt before. In the Sky Box we often went without meals for a few times or only half rations for several days. But I did not remember it feeling that way.”

“Which way?” Anya pried brown eyes intently staring down at the girl “You are not this starved right now?” Although Marie had fought every bite they had forced her to take the last days she should not be totally starved.

Marie quickly shook her head in the negative “No, but I was in the cave. I did not remember it to hurt that much…” the girl’s voice trailed off before she added “But Ontari caught a small rabbit before you found us”.

Anya thought to spot a slight sliver of admiration in the girl’s tone that did not sit right with her at all. It also had not gone unnoticed by the general how Marie had said “found us” instead of “found me” and she did not like the implication of their charge’s words. But she internally wondered why the Ice Nation nightblood had gone through the trouble to leave her hostage alone to hunt and then actually share the game with her.

“Do you also have children?” Marie asked another question changing the subject so abruptly and unpredictably that Anya furrowed her brows at the girl’s obvious sudden curiosity.

“No” Anya shook her head and added with a frown “And I don’t know where you got this idea from either”. Once Anya had started the training to become a warrior and stepped out of the shadow of her own first it quickly became clear for her that she would never wish to settle down and raise a family of her own. She had risen through the ranks so quickly that she knew she would have needed to let any potential child be raised by someone else or putting down her sword forever. It was rare among high ranking female warriors to have children of their own, not unheard off like Indra had a child, but still rare. It was easier for a male warrior to impregnate his love and be gone on duty for several month at a time. She also could not even remotely picture herself taking care of a child of her own, she highly doubted she would have enjoyed the life of a mother. She had settled on another choice taking on Lexa as a second first, Tris later and now Marie.

Marie had obviously wanted to say or ask something more but was interrupted when handmaidens entered the commander’s quarters. A few brought plates with breakfast while others carried heavy pails filled with water to prepare the requested bath.

The girl eyed the pails with water suspiciously, even under the heavy fever she could still remember being forced into what felt like ice water repeatedly.

Anya motioned one of the handmaids carrying a plate with food over to the bed and the young woman placed the plate directly in front of Marie with a friendly smile on her face. Marie thanked her with an answering smile and Risha who had still slept at the food of the bed woke up nose twitching to the smell of the delivered food. When the cub crawled up the bed towards the plate of food on Marie’s lap Anya quickly grasped the small wolf by the fur on its scruff and put the cub on the floor beside the bed. Risha seemed to glare for a moment at Anya clearly offended and promptly trotted through the open door of the commander’s chamber following one of the handmaidens out. The cub had already learned that following a handmaiden usually meant going into the kitchen and someone always had something for her to eat there.

Marie opened her mouth with a light scowl on her face directed at Anya but the woman already raised a hand to silence the girl’s predictable protest. “No, Marie, we have discussed this already” Anya said voice strict and eyes unyieldingly hard “Your mutt will not be fed while you eat and most definitely not on Lexa’s bed. It’s bad enough that she already sleeps on the bed”.

Marie closed her mouth with a slight click remembering that Anya had previously assured her that Risha would not be allowed in one of the beds in Polis and now the wolf was lying in one at least for parts of the nights. The girl turned her attention to the plate of breakfast eagerly trying a chewy bright thing, she could not remember if she ever had tasted it before.

“What is that?” Marie asked after a few bites. The texture was extremely creamy.

“Cheese from milk of a goat” Anya supplied watching the obvious way the young girl enjoyed the new kind of food. A smile ghosted over her lips in silent relieve, Marie seemed to recover nicely and she acted more her happy and curious self again.

“But I had cheese before” the girl commented in a thoughtful way obviously confused why this cheese tasted so vastly different.

Anya nodded smiling slightly down at their charge her brown eyes soft again “Yes, but from a different animal. You will find many different kinds. They all taste different. The Rock Line Clan brings this one to Polis from a goat that lives in their mountains.”

“Mmhh” Marie nodded accepting the information as a given and abandoned all thought to totally focus on the food. Her stomach was still rumbling slightly what Anya interpreted as a sign that their charge was truly on the way to get healthy again.

They ate their breakfast in silence until one of the handmaidens addressed Anya “The bath is prepared, general” the woman said respectfully bowing slightly and Anya dismissed them with a mute gesture.

Marie pulled a face at Anya when the handmaidens had left “It’s not cold again, isn’t it?” a whine to her voice.

Anya snorted “No it is not, so you can cease with your attitude” her tone was even but laced with a hint of strictness clearly telling the girl to keep her attitude in check. The general pulled the furs from Marie’s body and offered a hand to the girl to hoist her from the bed.

Marie’s legs were slightly weak and felt wobbly and she head to lean heavily against Anya to remain upright a frustrated frown settling on her features. But Anya was next to her keeping her save on her feet not letting the girl fall.

In honesty Anya had expected Marie’s body to show sequelae of the illness still fighting through her system and she was not surprise to now actually see the waning strength in her body. She internally debated the wisdom of her decision to have the girl take a bath right now, but she would stay with her the whole time making sure the girl did not faint in the bath and accidentally drowned in the water. She herself usually felt better once she could wash the traces of sickness from her own skin and thought it would probably be the same for their charge. The girl’s hair was tangled as well, the braids had been removed on the first day but her constant tossing and turning during her fevered dreams and getting the ends wet with the cold water bathes had not helped.

Anya patiently helped Marie get out of the clothes discarding the pile on the floor for a handmaid to collect later and she absent-minded noted that a fresh pile of clothes had already been provided for Marie together with towels for later.

She carefully helped Marie step over the edge of the huge bathing tube and watched how the girl settled into the warm bath, a contented sigh leaving her lips and her eyes seemed to fall close on their own account.

“Don’t fall asleep now, Marie” Anya addressed the girl in a strict tone squeezing her wet shoulder. “Lean forward” she directed and when Marie obeyed silently her grey eyes fluttering open again Anya took up a sponge lathering the girl’s back with soap. After washing the girl’s back Anya wetted the girl’s blonde hair and repeated the process trying to untangle as much of the locks as possible now.

Anya passed the sponge to Marie with the order to wash the rest of her body and the girl took the sponge in suspiciously shaky fingers. Her brown eyes kept careful watch of more signs of fatigue in their charge and when she finished the task of washing the soap from her blonde hair, the locks were shining again smelling slightly off the herbal soap.

When Anya ordered for Marie to stand up again she actually had to hoist the girl up herself with careful hands under her armpits. The girl’s grey eyes were confused and her voice shaking slightly “Why am I so weak right now?”

The general lifted the girl’s body out of the bath setting her down on the floor but keeping her upright with a strong hand on her shoulder before she enveloped her in one of the towels quickly rubbing her down and drying her off.

Marie waited quietly while Anya dried her hair and body until the woman helped her re-dress into clean clothes. Her hands were shaking slightly and her legs felt useless unable to hold up her own weight without Anya’s help at the moment.

“Can I get back to bed?” the girl asked voice sounding exhausted once again when Anya directed her to sit onto a stool in order to re-braid her still damp hair.

A flash of worry passed over Anya’s features at the girl’s question. She knew that their charge must be feeling pretty off still to actually want to go back to bed as she had yesterday already asked to be allowed to leave the bed.

Anya sort of carried Marie, with most of the girl’s weight resting against her own frame, back into the main room abandoning the girl’s hair for now preferring to get her into bed immediately if she already asked for it.

Marie smiled weakly up at Anya once she was back inside of the bed and the general pulled furs over her body keeping her comfortably warm and her eyes were already closing again when Anya tucked the furs securely around her small frame, brows furrowed with worry. She had not expected the girl’s strength to wan this quickly. Marie would be expected to participate at the execution of Charles Pike from Skykru in four days but the general doubted the girl would be up to it if she did not improve quickly.

She gently checked the girl’s temperature again and was relieved that at least the fever had not spiked again. Anya looked at the girl’s face as she took her hand back and found that Marie had already fallen back into a peaceful exhausted slumber.

The doors to the commander’s quarters were pushed open again only a moment later. Lexa strode into her chambers with intent.

Anya took one look at her disgruntled state and stood from the side beside Marie “There is still warm water in the bathing tube”. Lexa’s hair were slightly wild, some strands had gotten out of their braids and were glued to her face and neck by sweat and the general could also spot some black blood as well.

Lexa nodded pulling the shirt over her head with a grimace when she pulled at the gash on her back. Anya had of course observed the wound and went back to the doors “I will call a healer”.

Lexa had opened her mouth to retort that it was barely a scratch and did not need the attention of a healer but Anya’s quick strides had already transported her to the door making her words null. The commander just shook her head sighing under breath before she disappeared into the bathroom. Anya had been correct and the water was still warm enough to allow a quick bath.

When Lexa emerged from the bathroom, hair damp and loose, Laurel and Alira were both already waiting for her together with an untouched plate of breakfast.

The commander let the healer inspect the gash on her back without protest and waited patiently while the other woman applied a poultice to assist with the healing.

Anya blinked her eyes in stunned silence when the healer turned to her and actually had the audacity to scold her for giving Marie a bath. But the general wisely kept her tongue in check, she had already seen herself with how quickly it had tired Marie out that it had not been the best idea.

An amused smirk danced over Lexa’s features while she watched Anya being on the receiving end of one of Laurel’s scoldings. The woman was one of the few to reach a high age but her tongue was still as sharp as ever and she had a reputation of making concoctions taste extra foully for those who had angered her.

Alira meanwhile pulled Lexa’s thick locks back into order re-creating the usual intricate braids with ease. When Lexa had not touched any of the food after a few moments the older handmaid shoved the plate into the commander’s direction with a pointed glare. With a slight eye roll Lexa started to eat.

When Laurel finally dismissed herself from the commander’s chambers leaving the general with a tensely locked jaw behind, Alira followed the other woman leaving commander and general alone.

“Who got the hit in?” Anya asked as soon as the doors fell shut behind them her voice tinted with the annoyance she obviously felt.

“Aden” Lexa admitted swallowing down a bite of bread and her eyes shone with pride for the blonde boy “He has gotten better than I was when I took command”.

Anya nodded with a thoughtful expression and a frown settling on her brows, she did not like the implication of Lexa’s words and she knew she would do anything within her might to keep Lexa alive and on her throne as long as possible.

“I have been to see Ontari” Lexa proclaimed pulling Anya out of her thoughts.

The general nodded waiting for the younger woman to tell her more and she looked questioningly at her for a few silent moments in which Lexa seemed to sort through her thoughts.

“I do not know what to make of her yet” Lexa said formulating her stormy thoughts into words. Her instincts told her to kill the nightblood girl and erase the threat she could pose, but something was keeping her hand from her sword to strike her down. “We shall see, if she is able to adapt as a novitiate”.

Anya narrowed her eyes slightly her voice cautious as she questioned “You will keep her here as a novitiate? With the others?” her tone got slightly higher on the last part.

Lexa shook her head “Not with the others, no. She will be kept isolated under guard until I know she won’t try to kill them the first chance she gets”.

“So never” Anya retorted bluntly with a snort.

Lexa looked at her former mentor with sharp eyes. Although they were in the privacy of her chambers where she could allow her to speak freely, she still hated how Anya sometimes so openly expressed her disagreement.

“She asked after Marie” Lexa chose to change the topic knowing it was useless to try to convince Anya that giving the nightblood might be the right decision, Anya looked up promptly eyes narrowing suspiciously. “She had heard guards speaking about Marie falling ill” Lexa added voice even “She seemed relieved to hear that Marie will live”.

The frown deepened on Anya’s brows eyes hard as she said “I do not trust her. Marie actually mentioned her today as well. She said that Ontari hunted a rabbit sharing it with her”.

Lexa nodded with a thoughtful expression “We shall see how Ontari will fare without Nia’s constant influence. It will certainly take time before the girl will show her true face”.


	112. Chapter 112

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 111  
> Anya spends the morning taking care of Marie, noting how quickly the girl tires out again. Lexa shares her thoughts about Ontari with Anya.

Chapter 112

Lexa had left her chambers shortly later after a guard had notified her that the ambassadors had already gathered in the throne room and were waiting for her. On her way there she reigned in her tumultuous thoughts pulling her calm and unreadable façade firmly in place, much depended on this meeting. Should she fail now to calm the ambassadors the atmosphere towards Skykru was bound to remain hostile if she forced them into the coalition against the ambassadors’ will.

She had dressed into her full commander regalia only forging war paint as they were not currently at war and the message of that would be loud and clear to all of them.

The doors were pulled open for her by guards standing post in front of the throne room and Gustus already stood waiting next to her throne. Titus stood waiting on the other side of the throne loudly announcing her arrival to the gathered ambassadors.

Lexa strode into the room over the red carpet her sash flowing down her back and coat swishing around her heels, her back straight and head held high proudly. She shortly met Gustus’ and Titus’ eyes before she turned facing the ambassadors.

All of them fell to their knees respectfully but Lexa spotted flashes of disappointment and anger on the faces of the ambassadors to the Lake People, the Plain Riders, Rock Line and Shallow Valley Clan, while the Ice Nation delegation openly sneered.

Lexa sat down on her throne crossing her legs casually and motioned with her hand to have the ambassadors resume their seats as well, she let her hard gaze sweep over every single one of them in silence for a moment before she raised her chin higher and loudly addressed them “The affront of Charles Pike from the Sky people will not stand”

Most of the ambassadors seemed to breathe a sigh of relieve and nodded in silent agreement hoping that their calls for blood were finally being answered.

“But we will not march against Skykru…” she continued in a calm voice and when she saw the Ice Nation delegation banding silent seething glares she added “…yet”

“Skykru have been given an ultimatum of five days” Lexa elaborated. Not all clans had been represented in the meeting she had made the previous rendition so she repeated all of it. “They have five days to either leave Trikru land or bend their knees to the laws of the coalition, joining as the thirteenth clan”. Only the clans which had still contemplated to open trade with Skykru had been present at the last meeting but with what Pike had done the night before the meeting it had been useless to show them the radios.

She enumerated the demands she had already voiced against Skykru and waited for the ambassadors reactions.

The Desert Clan ambassador positively surprised her when the dark skinned man stood from his seat and began to speak after a subtle nod from the commander “I agree with all of you that these invaders have no claim on our land but now that they have fallen from the stars, should we really wipe them out? The tech they showed was impressive and we cannot deny their superiority in healing. Too many of our young die before they can grow strong”.

Lexa nodded again to him her face still blank thankfulness ran through her mind for the seasoned warrior. She had not expected the Desert Clan to give their open support to her like that.

The ambassador from the Boat People backed up his words, but no one was surprised by that. Luna’s people scorned on open war and bloodshed and the woman had never sent her warriors but rather aided with supplies when she had called on the clans before. The clan was too small and isolated to have an actual need for skilled fighters.

When the Broadleaf ambassador also added his own piece of opinion stressing that as long as Pike was executed and Markus Kane trustworthy they could always go to war against Skykru at a later point. It was clear the man agreed that Skykru could offer them knowledge that had the potential to better their lives, knowledge that had been lost through the clans after the bombs ended the world and pure survival had become more important than to preserve the knowledge of technology.

The Ice Nation ambassador loudly tried to recur to arms immediately and Lexa silenced his rant with a single mute raise of her hand keeping her expression bored on purpose. Fortunately the other ambassadors did not look really impressed by his angry words either. Lexa breathed slightly easier noting internally that the clans had accepted her terms and were pacified by Pike’s impending execution and the promise of some Skykru tech as an apologizing gesture.

She had not discussed this with Markus Kane but she was sure she could convince the man easily to supply the clans with something useful but harmless. The commander knew that now all depended on Skykru again and she swallowed harshly hoping that Clarke would be successful and Skykru would just accept to join the coalition but in her heart she knew it would probably not be this easy.

The commander dismissed the ambassadors shortly after satisfied that they seemed to accept the wait until a final decision was made. Some of them seemed to even like the idea that Skykru could still decide against the coalition and they might still get the war they were all waiting for.

Titus and Gustus remained behind and Lexa knew already before her former teacher made to speak what he would have to tell to her, the tenseness in his frame and how he had constantly clenched his jaw were plain enough to not need words as further clarification. But she was aware that she had constantly denied to listen to his counsel since Skykru was involved and she did not intend to antagonize the man further, so she settled back into her throne and waited for his rant to start.

Lexa was not disappointed in her prediction and Titus immediately started to rant about the seemingly endless dangers Skykru could mean to them. She patiently listened to him listing off all the threats the people who fell from the stars posed to them, recognizing them for the little and big things she herself had already seen as well. But where Titus chose to close his eyes completely in regard of the advantages a lasting alliance with Skykru could bring Lexa was unwilling to disregard them.

“I have to agree with all of your points, Titus” Lexa answered face blank and voice calm even after Titus had run out of arguments. A sliver of surprised flashed over the bald man’s features clearly not having expected her agreement in the matter and his face showed confusion why she had still not called war on them if she did agree so wholeheartedly. “But while I do also see the threats, Skykru do not necessarily have to remain a threat to us, Titus” Lexa continued. Titus’ face lost his confusion in the blink of an eye and slight anger washed over it instead mixed with obvious frustration that he had failed to convince her of his opinions.

She knew that repeating the arguments speaking in favour of Skykru would not sway the flamekeeper who seemed so steadfast in his disapproval so Lexa did not even try to. “It is their own decision now” her words rang with finality putting an end to the discussion for now.

“I expect you to take up Ontari’s training tomorrow at dawn” the commander addressed the flamekeeper whose eyebrows shot up in open surprise.

“No novitiate has ever been this old, Heda” the man sat cautiously clearly trying not to defy her again.

Lexa nodded “I am aware of that, Titus. And she will remain isolated from the rest of the conclave. Nia’s shadow is strong around her, she will need to prove that she can step out of it and show that she is deserving of the nightblood.”

With cutting down his time with the other nightblood children and mostly restricting his time with the younger ones especially, she had already deeply affronted the proud flamekeeper so giving him another as important duty seemed a fitting way to appease the man and to show him he still held her trust. “You will be responsible for her tutelage on your own for now. I will trust your judgment of her character”.

Lexa instructed him to give her daily updates on his progress and that she wished to see the younger girl for herself every few days. In addition she ordered the man to bring up the journal of the first commander, the man was less pleased with the order. It was obvious she wanted Marie to continue to read even though she was supposed to stay in bed. Titus tried to argue that the book had never left the temple and that he did not see the sense in making even more exceptions for the girl, but Lexa had just met his angry gaze with a cold glare of her own sitting up straighter in the throne and after a moment of silent staring the man conceded finally. Afterwards she immediately dismissed the man as well.

The sun had already moved quite a distance over the horizon as the meeting had taken much longer than Lexa had anticipated. But she had no other duties to attend to for now giving her the opportunity to return to her quarters for now.

Marie woke from her slumber when Lexa returned to the commander’s chambers. The woman immediately discarded her red sash and shoulder guard on a stool and a smile pulled at her lips when she spotted Marie sitting up in the bed. Anya had just looked up from the maps she had been studying intently. The general was not convinced that Skykru would actually take Lexa’s offer and was searching for a path Skykru could take that would afford them to reach unclaimed land quickly. She knew Lexa would be advising them on where to go should they refuse her offer, trying to steer them from clans that would immediately kill them one by one if they travelled through their lands.

The girl felt refreshed again after being asleep for several hours now, but she was content to stay under the soft warm furs for now remembering the way even the way to the bathroom and the short bath had drained her strength almost completely.

Lexa smirked slightly at the picture the girl presented. Her blonde hair had obviously still been damp when she fell asleep again and her hair now resembled the nest of a bird.

Anya’s eyes followed Lexa’s smirk and the older woman groaned slightly at the mess of the blonde locks entangled completely again. The general strode into the bathroom and retrieved a wide-toothed comb motioning the girl mutely to scoot over in the bed so that Anya could slide behind the girl to start the task of detangling her hair.

“How did the meeting go?” Anya asked once she started working on their charge’s hair. Risha, who had returned after being fed in the kitchen, hopped onto the bed again and promptly curled together in Marie’s lap under the girl’s gentle strokes to her fur.

Lexa stood bend over the maps Anya had left behind beside the bed inspecting them herself before she straightened herself. She already knew that the only reasonable path for Skykru was to travel to the dead zone and the land of the Desert Clan, with the way their ambassador had vocalized his support today she knew it would be relatively easy to convince the Desert Clan to let Skykru travel through their lands unharmed giving them an actual chance to reach unclaimed land.

“Better than expected” Lexa answered shuffling the maps together to put them back into their place “The Desert Clan will surely let them pass if it comes to that”.

Anya nodded accepting the younger woman’s words without question. When she shortly glanced out of the window she cursed under her breath discarding the comb carelessly.

Marie looked up confused when Anya slide out behind her again only a moment later and the general immediately dressed herself into her training armour quickly fingers almost fumbling with the clasps in her haste.

“I had scheduled to meet with your unit to assess their particular skills at midday” Anya called over her shoulder back at Lexa. The commander lightly shook her head with a smirk tugging at her face, it was so unlike the general to forget the time like that. It spoke volumes about the way Marie’s presence had changed Anya or in all internal truth both of them.

At her hasty retreat from the commander’s chambers Anya promptly physically crashed into Titus not heaving heard the doors already pulled open for the flamekeeper. They were locked into a silent glare both their eyes burning angrily until Anya snarled for him to move out of her way and made her way to the elevator impatiently tapping her feet for the contraption to open for her.

Marie blinked at the obviously disgruntled bald man who shortly glanced behind Anya’s retreating form anger clear on his face as he straightened his robs again and she noticed a book clutched in his hands.

The flamekeeper put the book on to a table his gaze clearly conveying that he was still displeased at having to remove the book from the temple, but he wisely kept his tongue. As Lexa had nothing to discuss with the man at the moment she dismissed him immediately after.

The commander stored away the maps Anya had browsed through and retrieved the book handing it over to Marie. As soon as Marie stopped stroking Risha in favour of accepting the book, the wolf cub actually looked accusingly at Lexa. It was obvious the small animal was intelligent and most loyal to their charge, the commander was sure the wolf would be deeply protective of Marie later on as well, already proving her worth.

Lexa took up the comb Anya had left on the side of the bed and resumed her general’s place behind Marie. Anya had barely started the task and the girl’s hair was still in complete disarray. Lexa’s fingers were gentle on the blonde soft tresses as she worked the knots from them, some coming lose easier than others. She would put braids into Marie’s long hair later to keep it from tangling this badly again.

Marie browsed through the book searching for the page she had read last, but she did not find it. It had been several days ago and she seemed to have forgotten somethings, so Marie just started somewhere in the first pages.

Easy silence fell between them, while Lexa combed out Marie’s hair and the girl was completely engrossed in the page she was reading. Risha had left Marie’s lap with a sulky glance at the girl and was now sleeping at the foot of the bed.

After a few moments Marie stopped her reading brows furrowed in thought and she abruptly twisted her upper body to face Lexa which resulted in the comb tangling in an especially stubborn knot and the girl winced when Lexa pulled at her hair involuntarily.

“You should keep still when someone combs your hair” Lexa admonished gently working the tangled comb loose from the long blonde hair with quick fingers.

Marie nodded but her brows were still furrowed in concentration “Lexa, where was the first commander from?”

Lexa frowned down at the girl slightly “It is said she ascended in a sliver of flames into what is now Polis and gathered the survivors organizing them and founding Polis”.

“In flames?” Marie questioned her own frown deepening “I think I know where the name comes from” the girl mused voice cautious.

Lexa looked at her encouragingly to share her thoughts.

“I guess it was not Polis but Polaris” Marie mused and she remembered the pod she had seen down in the temple and the faded letters on its outside.

The name rang a memory in Lexa’s mind and she distinctly remembered reading the name in this very book but much further ahead than Marie was yet.

“Where have you heard that name, Marie?” the commander asked tone gentle but eyes intent.

“In a lesson about the Ark’s history” Marie supplied turning around slightly to face Lexa fully and she tilted her head slightly in thought trying to recall exactly what she had heard. “Polaris was a research station and should have been the Ark’s thirteenth station, but it was destroyed when the other twelve stations joined on Unity Day” the girl recalled after a moment of silence.

Lexa took the information in silently mulling it over in her head. If what Marie implied was true, then it seemed that the first commander could actually come from Skykru.

“So the first commander was from the Sky as well” Marie expressed Lexa’s very thoughts her grey eyes shining with concentration.

Lexa nodded with a cautious expression. She doubted it would go over well if the clans knew that who had founded their very culture was in a sense Skykru as well. But in another way it might help them accept Skykru better, recognizing that they shared the same ancestors. So little was known still about their actual history just after the bombs fell that it truly was in the realm of possibility for Becca the first commander to come from the sky as well.

“You know that you are only allowed to discuss what you are reading there with a flamekeeper or me, Marie?” Lexa checked guiding the girl back around so that she could finish with her hair, she had already worked out most of the knots with just a few stubborn ones left before she would be able to braid it again.

Marie nodded and Lexa added “Not even with Anya” her voice was sharp and she waited for Marie to nod again although the confusion was obvious in the girl’s face as she twisted around again.

But Marie nodded, she might not understand why she was not allowed to speak with Anya but she had noticed how strict Lexa’s voice had become and knew that the woman was serious. Lexa was not concerned with the girl speaking with Anya per se but rather of who could overhear them. The girl was still speaking freely without the conscious thought that someone else might hear her and use her words against them later. Lexa would be the one to speak with her general about Marie’s discovery and in an environment where she was sure no one could accidentally listen.


	113. Chapter 113

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 112  
> Lexa meets with the ambassadors and speaks about Skykru with them. Anya spends the time watching Marie and leaves as Lexa returns. Marie continues to read the journal of the first commander pointing out the connection of Rebecca to Skykru to Lexa.

Chapter 113

The commander was aware that she did not just have to speak with Anya about Marie’s findings because she wanted to share what this could mean to the coalition with the woman she trusted most. But more pressingly she would need to have a discussion with Titus. As adverse as the leading flamekeeper was against Skykru Lexa could only speculate how much his believes would be tested with this new information.

“There is also an escape pod in the room where Titus showed me the book” Marie jolted Lexa out of her deep thoughts by speaking up suddenly again.

“An escape pod?” Lexa echoed the foreign words which felt strange on her tongue with a frown.

Marie nodded twisting around again, her face open in its curiosity and the girl was obviously pleased to be able to supply something the commander did not know yet “It’s a small pod, like the one Raven landed in, only for a single person. It had Polaris written on the outside”.

Lexa’s brows furrowed, she had spent countless hours in the small temple and she could remember the small metal contraption Marie must be speaking about. The flamekeeper had not been able to answer her question of what this thing had actually been or what its purpose could have been. Her mind supplied her with an almost graphic memory of the contraption and she could picture the faded letters on its outside as if she was standing in front of it.

“But the “A” and “R” must have faded, so “Polis” was left” Marie mused with a little shrug wincing immediately at the movement because it had jostled her still healing injured shoulder “Becca must have come to earth in the escape pod from Polaris”.

“It is a possibility” Lexa remarked nonchalantly her thoughts swirling wildly through her mind and she decisively turned Marie back around with a strong hand on her uninjured shoulder and quickly plaited a series of braids into her blond locks securing them in place with thin leather cords.

Marie was slightly confused why Lexa obviously did not wish to speak about the matter but the commander’s tone had been clear enough so she kept her mouth shut. She internally mused why the survivors on earth had lost all kind of technology and electricity if the one who sort of founded Polis was from a space ship, but on the other hand all of their ancestors had once lived in a world where technology was normal. She had seen first-hand what devastation the missile from the Mountain had done to TonDC and she internally wondered how the earth must have looked like just after the bombs had fallen with most cities probably burnt to the ground.

Alira brought a tray with dinner for them into the commander’s chambers a moment later. Lexa admonished Marie to put the book away onto a table next to the bed already imagining the girl accidentally spilling some of the stew over the precious pages and Titus’ reaction to such carelessness.

Marie obeyed immediately without any protests still remembering Titus’ warning and knowing that the man did probably not make empty threats, although she doubted Lexa would let the man actually harm her she did not want to put this theory to test.

The stew smelled divinely and little chunks of meat swam in a dark kind of sauce with undefinable vegetables. Alira gave Marie a small fresh loaf of bread to dunk into the stew with a friendly smile, the older handmaiden of course also worried for the blonde kind girl and was relieved to see her on the road of recovery.

Lexa nodded to the older woman accepting a bowl of stew and some bread as well before she ordered “Have Titus summoned to me”. Alira nodded immediately that she understood and left to search for the flamekeeper.

“What happens if Skykru doesn’t want to join the coalition?” Marie asked between some bites shuffling on the bed until she could look at Lexa balancing the bowl of stew cautiously so that she did not spill some of the contents on the furs.

“Skykru will need to leave the clans’ lands immediately” Lexa answered easily spotting that the girl obviously had more questions she wanted to ask. Both she and Anya had already wondered about the lack of reaction from Marie besides fearing that she would be sent away from their sides forever. “Speak your mind” she encouraged with soft eyes.

“And if they don’t?” Marie questioned after a moment worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

Lexa gently reached out pulling the girl’s lip from between her teeth when she started to bite down rather forcefully “The clans will march against them” her answer came easy again.

“Now?” the girl questioned with a furrowed brow.

Lexa sighed “Marching after the cold season has started would be suicide. But the clans closest to the Skykru settlement might wish to march before the cold season eases, forcing Skykru from our lands. If they have not left until the snow melts and the armies have combined Skykru will be extinguished to the last child”. Her voice was grave and eyes hard. Lexa dearly hoped both alternatives would not come to pass.

She knew all too well how a battle fought while the lands were still frozen under snow looked like. Still as a second she had accompanied Anya to a huge raid against Ice Nation and although Trikru land had not yet frozen over, snow and frost had already spread through Azgeda surprising them in their path. Many warriors and their mounts had frozen long before they could reach their destination. Many others suffered frostbite losing toes and fingers to the harsh coldness and she still could remember the bone deep chill that had not seemed to want to leave her body even weeks after they had finally returned to Trikru lands. Game was not easy to find when the earth was buried under a deep layer of snow and they had soon run out of food, the hunger mixing with the exhaustion and unrelenting coldness forcing them to retreat from Ice Nation before they even reached close to their destination. Lexa had seen warriors freezing overnight in their bedrolls or falling from their horses suddenly from exhaustion and even horses suddenly dropping from exhaustion and she would not march her own men into the harshness of the cold season if she could help it.

Going against Skykru in itself without the full force of the army of all the clans united would result in many unnecessary losses on her side. The commander judged that Skykru would run out of ammunition rather soon in an open out war but still every warrior who would fall under their bullets would be dearly missed in the clans once the snow melted and the fields needed to be tilled again and storages foraged. Lexa was all too aware that war bled the clans in more than just the obvious way, weakening the clans by the loss of pure manpower, thinning out their ranks even more.

On the other hand giving Skykru time until the cold season eased posed the very big probability that they would use the cold month in preparation making them even harder to kill once the clans could march against them united. With the way how agitated the coalition already was Lexa was not sure she would be able to reason with them to wait for spring to bloom.

Marie’s frame was wracked by a shiver running through her at Lexa’s words. She could not stop her mind from conjuring images of the burning carcass of the Ark, a bloodied patch of land before it and the twisted halls of the Ark filled with the bodies of the dead, cut down by swords. Her breathing quickened against her will and she started to cough violently immediately, her lungs obviously not pleased with her change of breathing.

Lexa gently clapped on the girl’s back after prying the bowl from her fingers and when that did not help she stood from the bed preparing a tea for the girl quickly. The woman returned to the bedside with the cup in her hand waiting for Marie to stop coughing at least for a moment to be able to make her drink the first sip which usually served to help sooth her throat.

The doors to her chambers were pushed open again declaring Titus’ arrival. The man stopped dead in his tracks watching the commander taking care of the blonde girl with gentle hands and patience. Lexa only turned around to face the bald man once Marie had finally stopped coughing and was sucking in some laboured breaths trying to get air back into her lungs. The commander continued to rub the girl’s back soothingly for a few moments until her breathing had settled as well and she guided her charge to lie back down, the girl’s features once again showing some signs of fatigue.

Lexa stepped from the bed over to Titus picking up the journal of Becca the first commander. She chose her words for a moment searching for way to break the news to the flamekeeper “Marie has found a connection between Becca Pramheda and Skykru” she said cautiously.

Titus’ dark eyes widened instantly his lips forming a thin line of irritation. While Marie had heard Lexa say her name and forced her eyes to remain open even though she felt sleep tugging at her mind trying to lull her in.

“That is not possible” the man seethed through forcefully clenched teeth trying to deny any affiliation between their origins and the people from the sky.

“Is it not?” Lexa questioned voice carefully even, not rising to his anger “Marie reported of a space station called “Polaris” which did not join their Ark but was destroyed. The metal contraption in the temple is an escape pod and it did not say “Polis” but “Polaris””.

Titus mouth fell open his dark eyes minutely boring into Lexa’s green ones before he looked around her his gaze taxing Marie intently, searching her tired face for something. The girl had listened to Lexa’s words and was nodding slightly to back up her words.

“What do you know about the flame?” he now directly addressed Marie in a cutting tone.

But the girl only blinked her tired eyes confusion clouding her expression. She had not reached a part in the journal where something specific was said about the flame and she did not know anything besides what Lexa had told her, namely that it somehow was or contained the commander’s spirit.

“She does not know anything, Titus” Lexa cut in sharply making it clear that the man could ease up on Marie. From everything the girl had told her about her life on the Ark, the commander was aware that Marie had been too young to know anything specific, her general schooling just starting. But she understood the way of Titus’ thoughts, there was a distinct possibility that Skykru might know something about the origin of the flame.

“Who knows about this already?” the flamekeeper asked voice wary and face showing some exhaustion.

“No one, besides us now” Lexa reassured her former teacher. It remained unsaid that she would let Anya in on this secret as well.

The man nodded mutely his thoughts probably thrown into the same turmoil her own were at the moment.

This new events brought only an endless number of new questions and Lexa was not sure they would even want to know the answers. What did Skykru know about the flame? Did they know how it worked? Did they know its actual purpose? What did they know about the first commander? Or about the bombs that destroyed their world? What would or could all of this new information mean to the clans?

In the end Titus argued that they needed to keep this as secret as possible. The flamekeeper feared that the clans might even turn against the commander and the whole idea the figure of the commander was representing if the connection between the first commander and Skykru, who were generally hated between all the clans, came to light.

Lexa’s eyes widened momentarily at this argument. Although she had already considered many outcomes, this particular one had not come to her mind yet. But she could not deny the truth in the flamekeeper’s counsel, it might truly turn the clans against the whole concept which was basis to their culture.

Titus had taken up to striding through the chambers clearly agitated and lost in his own thoughts. He had taken the journal of the first commander and was either searching for something specific or spontaneously browsing through the worn pages.

Marie seemed to have fought off the tiredness for now but Lexa did not like spotting the worry for her own person in her big grey eyes, Titus constantly striding the length of the room seemed to only frighten the girl slightly. “Why would that put you in danger?” the girl asked after long tense moments her voice barely above a whisper and her features drawn with obvious worry.

Titus had not yet witnessed the close bond that really connected Lexa to Marie and when the commander saw him making to speak probably berating the girl for even questioning something at all, Lexa silenced him with a simple gesture and returned to the side of the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

She took on one of the girl’s smaller hands into her own and squeezed it reassuringly explaining in a gentle voice that their very beliefs were based for a huge part on the concept of the flame as the vessel for the commander’s spirit. The clans believed that a commander was worthy and trustworthy to lead them well when the spirit had chosen them. She tried to explain the even slightly religious aspect of their belief. This belief would be put to a hard test if it was now suddenly linked to Skykru who so openly despised their way of living, relying totally on technology, no signs of honour and belief in them.

“But the clans would not call for your death, would they?” Marie asked brows furrowed. The concept of any kind of religion was strange for her, her parents had not been religious after all.

Lexa let warmth infuse her green eyes catching instantly that the girl was not worried the slightest bit for the commander but only for herself as Lexa, when she answered her voice was grave “They might, Marie”. Her answer was bluntly honest but Lexa knew that being commander had always been walking a fine line, angering the clans could easily make them question her demanding a stronger commander to take up her mantel, but if the clans now were to decide that they did not need any commander any more she was sure chaos would take reign, fracturing the clans once again in a strife for power.

The girl actually hung her head at that eyes filled with guilt “I wish I said nothing…” she mumbled and Lexa forced her to meet her gaze with a finger under her chin.

The commander stared deeply into Marie’s grey eyes her own gaze unwavering “You do not have done anything to feel guilty for, Marie” she quickly reassured her charge, her tone firm leaving no room for doubt in her words.

Lexa could feel Titus’ dark eyes resting heavily on them and the man had ceased his constant strides through the room finally. “We will just need to keep it a secret for now” Lexa said to Marie squeezing her hand once again and caressing her cheek gently before she turned back to face Titus, still keeping the girl’s hand inside her own.

It was obvious by the crease in Titus’ brow that he had not expected to witness such a scene between the commander and Marie. The man could not deny that the girl had seemed completely honest in her worry for Lexa and he felt some appreciation for that, recognizing finally that the girl would not put Lexa in danger, at least not intentionally.

“I agree; the fewer people who know this, the better” the flamekeeper said his voice laced with importance.

Lexa nodded to signify her own agreement and Marie also nodded slightly. There was no question in Lexa’s mind that Marie would keep this secret save, so far the girl had been very reasonable for her age and the depth of her loyalty for herself and her general still surprised her slightly.

It spoke volumes that Titus put the journal back onto the table without being asked to. A slight pleased glint appeared in Lexa’s eyes, it seemed Titus was finally starting to if not warm to Marie on a personal level her former teacher had at least started to appreciate the girl’s obvious connection to her.

“So Skykru might possess delicate information about the first commander” Titus mused after putting the book down and Lexa could almost see the gears turning in her former teacher’s mind. His voice was gave as he added “That certainly puts a new aspect to them possibly entering the coalition”.

Lexa nodded, it also posed another reason for her not wanting to wipe out Skykru and all potential knowledge they might be having. She would have liked to ask Clarke what the blonde leader might know about Polaris, but as the other young woman was not in the capitol anymore it was not an option. A thought rose in her mind “Interrogate the Skykru prisoner, he might have additional information”.

Titus raised a brow minutely but nodded his acceptance and when Lexa did not offer any more words he nodded once more and strode from the room, probably to head into the dungeons immediately and carry out her orders.

Marie yawned wholeheartedly once the doors fell shut behind him and Lexa smiled gently down at the girl pushing her shoulder more firmly into the pillows “Rest, Marie” she said letting go of the girl’s hand after a final squeeze.

Marie settled herself comfortably on the bed turning onto her side and Risha scrambled from the foot of the bed sliding between the girl’s arms lying her snout on top of one of her arms. A smile played over Lexa’s features at the undeniably cute sight when Marie slightly tightened her arms around the cub.

Lexa stepped outside onto the balcony welcoming the icy wind against her face, the weather reflecting the turmoil in her mind. So much could be depending on Skykru right now and she did not have confidence they would actually decide to join the coalition. In her mind it was the only reasonable decision for them to make but that did not mean much when they were involved. Lexa stepped closer to the railing embracing the cold stone with her fingers looking down over the capitol laid out far beneath her.

Her breathing was calm although her thoughts were anything but, once again they stood on the brink of war. She had hoped to finally have peace amongst the clans, but she doubted that Skykru would be the last to cause trouble, Nia bugging at the back of her mind constantly like a wound left the fester for too long.

She was caught up in her thoughts and almost startled when Anya finally joined her. The general looked disgruntled, her braids in disarray, and sweat coating her brow together with an undefined mixture of dirt and blood. The older woman easily picked up on Lexa’s inner turmoil and waited for her to tell her what was bothering her in patient silence.

Lexa quickly filed Anya in to what Marie had discovered and watched the same worry settle on the hard features of her general. Anya actually for once had to agree with Titus, this knowledge was better kept from the clans.

“How is the unit coming along?” Lexa questioned when they finally stepped back into her quarters. A quick glance to the bed showed Marie in the same position she had left her in, eyes still closed and face relaxed in slumber.

“Rather well” Anya commented after she had strode into the bathroom retrieving a basin with water and some rags to clean off. Even though some of them still clearly suffered from what had been done to them in the Mountain, they fought viciously. Anya had been relieved to find most of them highly trained warriors already. She had been surprised to spot an Ice Nation warrior among them, the woman lacked the scars identifying her clan, clearly conveying her to be an assassin. They would need more training to really start to function as one unit but Anya had found enough potential among them to be confident in her abilities to make one unit out of them with a little bit of time.


	114. Chapter 114

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 113  
> Lexa speaks with Titus about Marie’s discovery. Titus witnesses the undeniably strong connection between Lexa and Marie. Anya hears the news as well and reports the unit is coming along satisfactory.

Chapter 114

The rest of the day passed without any further incidents but that did not serve to put Lexa’s mind at ease. The commander felt antsy and unsettled unable to actually do anything at the moment which would once again settle the clans but being condemned to wait for Skykru to make their move. She hated such situations with a deep passion and her patience was once again put to a harsh test.

Her body felt as restless as her mind and Lexa would have preferred to leave the tower and seek out the training pits to exhaust her body in the hopes that her mind would tire as well. But another snow storm had started and the wind whipped loudly around the tower, so that Lexa had to concede that going outside was not a really well thought through idea at the moment.

Anya on the other hand already was rather tired out from the training session she had just held. As she had wanted to assess the skills of all the potential warriors to build the commander’s personal unit, she had needed to face all of them one after another and her muscles still burnt from the exhaustion. But the older woman had still picked up on Lexa’s eyes restlessly scanning the rooms, her lean frame tense, muscles twitching in anticipation of an attack, which would not happen for another few days at least. The general recognized Lexa’s behaviour as how she had acted while forming the coalition. It was obvious how worried the commander internally was that all her sacrifices might be in vain should the coalition fracture again.

The general tucked the furs in around Marie’s peacefully sleeping form, Risha opening her eyes immediately shortly glancing at the woman before settling down again. When she stood straight again her back cracked rather loudly the bones of her spine aligning themselves again.

Lexa huffed in annoyance at her inability to calm her mind at the moment letting herself slide down to sit cross-legged her back resting slightly against the carved wooden frame of the bed.

Anya watched her former second for a few moments calming down her breaths, her face slackening slightly and her jaw finally unclenching when Lexa succeeded to reign in her racing thoughts slipping into a meditative trance like state. Fully aware that Lexa could remain in this state for hours at a time Anya unlaced her boots and loosened her own disarrayed braids and quickly wiped down her body cleaning away the dirt and blood left behind from training. She grimaced slightly when she cleaned out a shallow gash at her side left behind by the sword of the Ice Nation assassin.

Dressing again in cleaner clothes Anya left her armour on a table, she would need to check it tomorrow to see if it needed any repairs. Although Anya would not have admitted it out loud but she still felt a residual exhaustion deep in her bones left behind after the Mountain and was rather grateful to be able to slide under the furs next to Marie. She hoped the cold season would afford her enough time to fully restore her strength, it annoyed her not to be at her best.

Marie woke up to a certain degree when Anya joined her in the huge bed feeling the mattress dip beside her under the other woman’s weight. For the blink of an eye panic flashed through Marie’s sleep addled mind until she recognized the smell of the woods she associated with Anya in her mind turning around slightly to snuggle up to her. The general instantly put an arm around their charge settling her comfortably pressed against her side and felt sleep tug at her mind only short moments later. Absently minded Anya internally wondered since when she had begun to feel reassurance from the girl’s frame pressed against her, making her sink into sleep easier.

It was many hours later when Lexa finally stood from the spot on the floor in front of the bed, her mind finally calmed again and tired, her eyes slightly burning from lack of sleep. Darkness had long fallen in her chambers save for the few candles which remained burning and the fire blazing in the fire pit casting part of the huge room in dancing shadows. Although the fire had obviously been stocked some time ago while Lexa was still mediating the temperature had dropped around her and her body felt chilled and she was oddly grateful to be able to slip into a bed not cold but already warmed.

Directly after Costia’s head had been delivered to her bedside Lexa had been in the constant company of Anya. The general had stayed beside her for days until she had heeded Titus’ words and sent her away. Almost welcoming the loneliness and coldness of her chambers, once she had finished her duties for the days she would slip into her chambers and not see another soul until the next morning.

But since Marie had literally fallen into their lives everything had changed drastically and Lexa felt slightly afraid of how quickly both she and Anya had let the girl from the stars into their hearts and Marie was now irrevocably bound to them.

In the dim light of the candles around them Lexa could barely make out Anya’s strong features but she could see Marie’s small form pressed against the general’s larger body and arm slung around her chest. A smile ghosted over her lips as she laid down beside both of them and she felt the heaviness settle over her mind and body alike as she drifted off into sleep.

Sometime later Lexa was awoken when Marie shifted over in her sleep and the girl seemed to instinctively scoot over to her. Lexa could hear Anya shifting next to them turning her back to Marie. Only a short moment passed until Lexa felt the girl’s arm sliding over her own body as she cuddled up to her and Lexa closed her eyes again.

When Marie woke up the next morning both Anya and Lexa were already up and quietly talking at a table obviously already eating breakfast. The wind was still howling loudly around the tower indicating that the storm yet had to calm again. Risha sat between Anya and Lexa on the rug covered ground icy blue eyes alternating between them whenever one of the women took a piece of food obviously hoping that one of them would give her something of their breakfast. Marie stretched leisurely under the furs and noted happily how much easier it was to breathe this morning, her lugs felt finally clearer again and her body had stopped aching all over.

“There is breakfast and tea beside you” Anya suddenly addressed Marie without turning to her making their charge startle in surprise.

“How had you known I am awake?” Marie asked feeling her heart beat strongly against her ribcage startled like that. She had been sure she had not made any noise and neither Anya nor Lexa sat facing her.

Anya looked over to Marie turning slightly to face the girl an expression on her face that clearly showed what she thought of the question without giving an actual answer. Marie ducked her head slightly under the light glare and grabbed the cup of tea which was still steaming, gently blowing on the surface a few times before she took a careful sip. It was obvious Lexa had made the tea, she added a good amount more of the honey into the bitter brew than Anya thought necessary to make it drinkable.

“How are you feeling?” Lexa asked voice kind and a soft shine to her green eyes making Marie look up again.

 “Better” Marie reassured quickly a slight smile on her lips, as she picked up the plate with breakfast immediately spotting the bright cheese she had already tasted and happily munching on the piece still enjoying the flavour.

Anya balanced her own plate of food on her lap and when she had turned over to face Marie Risha now promptly stood on her hind legs paws trying to reach up to the woman’s plate. The girl started to giggle softly under her breath when Risha actually managed to snatch a piece of meat from the plate while Anya was still facing Marie.

The general turned back eyes narrowing and glaring down at the small animal slugging down the piece of meat with one bite. Risha stood back up in her hind legs muzzle barely at the height of Anya’s knees and the general moved a foot slightly to shoo the cub away. But the wolf only placed its paws on Anya’s leg carefully now standing up on its rear legs. Anya shook her head vehemently and pushed the animal back down forcing the wolf to lie down on the floor with a glare.

Marie was still giggling slightly until Anya turned her glare back to her and the girl promptly chocked on a piece of bread coughing forcibly.

Lexa had an amused smirk tugging at her lips but when Risha tried to sit up and beg again for some more food the commander firmly pushed the animal back down.

When Marie was still coughing a few moments later trying to get her airway clear again in vain Anya placed her plate back on the table and strode over to their charge carefully clapping the girl on her back to help clear her airway. She had originally just assumed the girl had tried to conceal her giggle but she had obviously truly chocked on something.

A messenger knocked on the door carrying a scroll from TonDC. Lexa had been told that Octavia and Lincoln were planning to bond soon and the commander had offered to hold the ceremony in Polis together with a feast. She would normally not be involved in such a simple matter but it was clear to her that such an event could be used to show the clans that there indeed were Skykru who were willing to adapt to the way of live on the ground. There was a huge significance to the first pair of them to merge their two people to form one. While Marie had officially been introduced as a part of Trikru Octavia had not. Indra had officially taken her as her second but there had never been a ceremony so overall Octavia was still more Skykru than Trikru. Should a war truly break out between Skykru and the clans it would be better for Octavia if her place beside Lincoln and in extension Indra was sealed.

Marie’s pale face was flushed red from exertion when she finally could breathe again and she grimaced in pain at the burning feeling in her lungs, biting her lips against the tears that had sprung into her grey eyes.

Lexa quickly skimmed over the short message clearly written in Indra’s scrawl. The chief of TonDC had left their village with a small delegation a day ago and they were on their way to the capitol. The commander hoped they would arrive here safely with the weather this extreme the travels were risky at best.

She stood and accompanied the messenger out of her chambers. The man have ridden hard through the night exhaustion clear on his young face. She quickly organized with one of the guard to have the messenger accommodated in the tower until the weather cleared, his horse would be cared for in the stables.

“I hate being sick” Marie whined to Anya just as Lexa returned into the room. The general looked down at their charge with thinned lips her opinion clear in her brown strict eyes without any need for actual words.

“You will get better” Lexa reassured before Anya could truly make a snide comment. They both agreed on the fact that it was the girl’s own fault that she was sick but reminding her of that at every turn would surely not help improve her faster, but only dampen her mood.

Anya stepped back from the bed quickly donning on her armour. She had scheduled another training session with the commander’s private unit for the morning. She was not looking forward to heeding out in this weather but she supposed it was better than sitting still the whole day.

Marie watched the older woman leave mutely while Lexa searched for something on a table shuffling papers around. Lexa had almost another hour until she was expected in the throne room holding an open meeting again.

She gathered a few empty sheets of paper and a specific book, a feather and ink, and carried the items over to the bed handing over first the book. Marie accepted the book immediately opening it and looking down at the page with a frown. The sites were filled with variations of the alphabet she was used to and able to read and what looked like random scribbles and swirls and scratches.

“You have grown almost fluent in Trigedasleng but only in spoken word” Lexa explained to their charge pointing to what Marie thought might have been a series of word scratches “Now you need to learn how to write in our way as well”.

Learning to read and write in Trigedasleng proved to be much harder than learning to speak the language. While speaking had felt sort of instinctual and by listening to Anya and Lexa converse Marie had caught up rather quickly to the language. Although her pronunciation was still slightly off, her tongue unused to forming such harsh vocals, she managed to understand conversations now without much problems.

Marie’s head hurt slightly when Lexa stopped her lesson an hour later. The letters were blurring together in front of her eyes and she was glad that they would stop now. Lexa had been patient with their charge, it was obvious the girl had problems to focus and concentrate on the task. She knew that learning to write their language was not easy, but with enough practise and time Marie would master the skill sooner or later.

With Anya still outside of the tower occupied with the training and Lexa leaving to her meeting, the commander asked Gustus to stay behind with Marie, not wanting to leave the girl behind unsupervised for the chance that her fever would strike again.

Marie had seen the burly guard the last time when Anya had brought her back to Polis and she smiled softly at Gustus when he entered the commander’s chambers. Lexa quickly briefed the man on how to prepare the tea for Marie expecting that it might still take Anya some time to return and her meetings would often stretch out over hours as well. Ryder would accompany her to the meeting and normally there was no need for an actual personal guard there.

She had just had another cup of the tea and could already feel the effects taking hold of her body, her eyes drooping shut slowly.

When she woke up some time later Gustus sat on one of the couches bend over a book on the low table in front of him. Marie coughed a few silent moments later calling Gustus’ attention and the man stood and came over to her.

The girl regarded Gustus silently for a moment, the burly man looked exhausted and his brown eyes seemed dimmed. But he must have seen the compassion shimmering in her own grey eyes and his lips curved in a soft smile for a moment when he sat down next to the bed.

Marie gnawed at her lips a few moments, vividly remembering Sierra and could not shake a thought from her mind “Do you have other children?”

“Not anymore” Gustus said voice hinted with melancholy.

Marie’s face pulled in a frown guilt blooming in her chest at obviously bringing back what must be painful memories, but still she could not help but wonder what might have happened. The curiosity must have shown on her face.

Gustus took a deep breath “We had a boy, before Sierra” the man explained voice kind and a faraway look on his face “Rando was training as a second under Indra. He was excelling in training, he would have been able to take on a second on his own a winter or two later…”

Marie was aware that Rando must have died probably years ago but the pain in Gustus’ voice seemed raw and fresh. She wondered internally how the people left behind on earth had managed to survive this long and still handle all the death around them. On the Ark people mostly either died of old age, were floated or a few rare cases died suddenly after an accident or sudden disease. So hearing that someone she had known had died, had always shocked her. She had still not understood what death meant truly, only that the person would not return.

“…he was on a patrol near the Mountain when they were attacked by reapers” Gustus pulled her from her thoughts with his words and Marie could not contain a shudder at the mention of the Mountain. She could vividly remember the cages where they had kept grounders in.

“I am sorry” the girl said empathically grey eyes honest and full of compassion when she started to cough again.

Gustus squeezed her shoulder in silent acknowledgment and stood to make her a new tea. Marie silently wondered how old Rando had been and what he could have looked like.

The man was kind enough to add a generous amount of honey to the tea for her before he handed Marie the cup. A smile pulled at his lips as he said “You will need to learn how to gather that, if you continue to devour it like that” there was the hint of a tease in his voice.

“Gather it?” Marie questioned with a frown. She had no idea where the sweet tasting viscous amber liquid actually came from.

Gustus snorted “Bees produce it in their hives. Anya could tell you a lot about them” there was a twinkle to his dark eyes now as if he remembered something.

Marie tilted her head mutely asking for explanation.

“All right” Gustus conceded at the puppy-dog eyes from the young girl “Anya has made an intimate acquaintance with bees many summers ago…”

The girl laughed out loud freely eyes twinkling happily when Gustus retold her how Anya had tried to gather honey on her own without any precautions and the angry bees had stung her until she had sought shelter in the cold stream shrieking shrilly on her way there. Marie could not help but wonder how Anya might have looked like as a child and although the woman was the very epitope of austereness now, she guessed that even Anya must have been freer as a child.

“Have you been friends as children?” Marie asked curiosity burning in her grey eyes and voice eager.

Gusts said nonchalantly “We have trained alongside each other for years”.

“That we have” Anya suddenly said arms crossed over her chest and leaning against the wall next to the door making Marie jump slightly. The girl had not noticed the woman returning at all and wondered how long she had listened to them. The general did not seem that pleased when she stared down at Gustus, eyes hard but the burly man seemed unfazed by her glare. He nodded to both of them efficiently dismissing himself from the room.


	115. Chapter 115

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 114  
> Lexa is getting impatient with the wait while Marie is still confined to the bed. Gustus spends some time with Marie.

Chapter 115

The rest of the day and the complete next day passed over quickly. The snow storm had finally moved away from the capitol but now the streets were covered with a deep layer of snow that needed to be shovelled off the streets so that the vendors would be able to open up their stalls again.

Marie had improved even more. The girl was still coughing a lot but her breathing had finally lost the rattling quality to it which was a huge relieve to both Lexa and Anya likewise. Her temperature had stayed completely normal and both women had agreed that keeping the girl in bed for another few days was probably not needed.

There had been no word yet neither from Indra nor from Clarke and thus Skykru and the lack of news made Lexa’s skin crawl. She knew that if Skykru had decided to leave, movements in their camp would have surely been seen and by now reported to her by one of her many scouts surrounding their settlement. So with every passing hour without any notice it looked more and more likely that they were facing another war. Lexa could not stop her mind from wondering what Clarke would chose to do in this case; die with her people fighting in a war they were bound to lose or try to convince as many of her people as possible to seek shelter in Polis?

The commander was almost relieved that tomorrow at dawn Charles Pike would draw his last breath. If Skykru had not sent word by then their choice would be clear without further notification and the clans would join forces against them either directly or when the snow finally melted with the next season.

Marie woke after Lexa and Anya had both long left their bed and were lowly speaking with each other voices too soft for Marie to catch any words.

Marie was positively surprised when Anya asked her to stand up from the bed to eat her breakfast together with the commander and the general who were sitting on the couches in the commander’s chambers. Her legs still felt weirdly weak and a slight ache remained in her whole body but she guessed both would get normal again after a few days.

The sun seemed to have just risen and Lexa’s hair was down, falling down her back in damp waves, obviously freshly washed and not yet organized into intricate braids. It took Marie a few moment on unsure feet to cross the distance from the bed to the couches and for a moment she felt almost woozy and was glad to sit down next to Anya. The general had watched her steps with hawk like eyes ready to jump up and help their charge the moment she would falter in her footing.

Titus was allowed into the chambers a few moments later to make a report about his training with the Ice Nation nightblood over the past two days. It was obvious by his annoyed tone of voice and the clench in his jaw that the bald man and the nightblood did not get along this well at the moment. Marie internally wondered if the source of the man’s irritation stemmed from the fact that he actually seemed to not have been able to find a true reason to complain to Lexa about Ontari. The girl mused internally if the flamekeeper was even capable of smiling or laughing, she had thus far only seen his austere face in a frown and lips pressed into a displeased line.

The commander listened to his report patiently noting that Ontari seemed to have made at least a slight effort in their lessons and hoping that there was still a chance for the girl. She dismissed the flamekeeper once it was clear that her former mentor was just searching for a reason to rant on.

Just after the flamekeeper had left obviously still in a rather bad mood, another series of urgent knockings sounded through the commander’s chambers.

Lexa bid the guards to allow entry to her rooms and Indra herself strode inside closely followed by Octavia. Both of them looked exhausted, snow and grime clinging to their clothing a sure sign to their hard and fast travels.

The commander straightened herself in her seat abandoning her breakfast altogether, the tight press of Indra’s jaw enough indication that whatever word she brought was important and no good news.

Octavia it seemed had blended further into their culture. Her dark haired styled in a way typical for Trikru and the swirls of a tattoo peeked through above the collar of her heavy coat. Marie noted how she seemed to stand taller and prouder as well and judging from the tight pants she was wearing the older girl had toughened up and gained muscle.

“A group of Skykru is on their way to the capitol, Heda” Indra addressed her urgency in her tone and wild fury in her dark eyes “Intent on breaking out Charles Pike”.

Lexa’s green eyes slotted to angry slits while Anya snorted slightly shaking her head. How could they even think to get into the best guarded structure in Polis?

Octavia’s dark eyes flashed with conflicted emotions as she added “My brother is part of the group. They are all armed with guns”.

The commander easily picked up on the anger reflected in the younger girl’s face mixed with obvious worry for her brother. Octavia must know that there was nothing she could do to save Bellamy if they were discovered trying to get into the capitol heavily armed.

She ground her teeth together in silent anger, it seemed Skykru really wished to force her hand. She had given them every chance she could for a peaceful solution but if they wanted violence instead, they would get what they asked for.

Lexa shortly caught Anya’s eyes “Have the guards increased around the tunnels. I want them to catch them as unharmed as possible”.  The commander looked back up at Indra “How far were they behind you?”

The dark skinned chief seemed to calculate internally before she said “Not much, maybe a candle mark, two at most”.

Anya immediately stood from her place to organize the warriors which would intercept the Skykru rebels. Marie watched the woman leave the room with quick strides and an angry snarl on her face, worry blooming in her own chest. They did not know how many armed soldiers from Skykru were on their way but as they carried guns many more warriors would be needed to overpower them. The possibility that more warriors would be dying looming as a threat in her mind, selfishly Marie hoped that Anya would not stay in the tunnels and return to them immediately.

“Get dressed” Lexa ordered to Marie and told Indra and Octavia to wait for her in the throne room. She strode behind them asking a guard to quickly summon Alira to do her hair for her.

Marie had stood up from the couch and now stood in the middle of the room unsure what to do. She actually had no idea where her other clothes were and at the moment she was dressed in a huge shirt reaching down to her knees. She was tugging at the shirt self-consciously while Lexa herself quickly dressed in the full commander regalia.

The woman picked up on Marie just standing there a few moments later and pointed to a wooden chest “Your clothes are in there”.

Marie had not noticed the wooden chest and internally wondered if it was a new addition. In reality it was, Lexa had made Anya move a few of her and Marie’s things into the commander’s quarters for now; she still thought it unrealistic to hope that Marie would just need a few days for her nightmares to dwindle down already resigned to the fact that it might take weeks or rather month for her to improve. Going back and forth between the two quarters was impractical for a longer time span so it had been a reasonable decision.

Marie quickly searched through the things inside the chest assembling an outfit she already had worn before and was thus familiar with. She did not recognize all of the clothes the chest contained and a few were definitely much too big for her and she guesses that they probably belonged to Anya.

Lexa had sat down in front of a mirror and had a fine brush in hand already applying the black pigment around her eyes to form her typical war paint.

A moment later Alira entered the commander’s chambers and immediately got to work with Lexa’s hair. The older handmaiden had such practise in plaiting Lexa’s brown locks into the braids that it did not take her long at all.

“Do her hair as well” Lexa ordered when Alira stepped back still occupied with complementing her war paint just shortly glancing up at the older woman.

Alira motioned for Marie to sit down and waved the blonde hair into the design she had worn when Ontari abducted her including the red strips of cloths again. While Alira was still occupied with the girl’s hair Lexa crouched down in front of Marie’s facing now applying the pigment to the girl’s pale skin. Accentuated by the black paint the girl’s gentle grey eyes seemed to turn into hard polished silver orbs.

“Are we at war now?” the girl’s soft wavering voice and the innocence in her eyes contrasted starkly with the image her outer appearance now conveyed.

Lexa stopped in her strokes the brush hovering in front of Marie’s face and she purposefully gentled her own hard green eyes, her anger was not directed against their charge after all, so she kept her tone kind as well “We may not be yet, but remember what I said about appearances”.

The girl nodded immediately her expression turning solemn and she seemed to straighten herself sitting up taller. Lexa had put the finishing touches to the girl’s war paint and stood up looking down at her with a fleeting smile before she schooled her own expression again.

Lexa lastly buckled the large shoulder pauldron to her body and fastened the red sash under it completing her outfit. “Come” the commander ordered to Marie and the girl followed her with hurried steps to keep up with her own fast strides.

Gustus and Ryder who had stood guard at the double doors to the commander’s chambers fell into step slightly in front of her. The girl’s breathing was hard and laboured when they stepped into the elevator and Lexa kept watch of their charge Clarke’s words ringing loudly in her ears to keep Marie in bed for a few more days. She left the elevator way slower so that Marie did not have to exert herself as much to keep up with them.

The atmosphere in the throne room was tense as they waited. Lexa had been adamant that Marie sat down on a chair for now which had been positioned next to the throne. Anya had not returned to them yet so Lexa concluded that the general had directly stayed with the warriors to wait for the Skykru group’s arrival. The worry shimmering in Marie’s grey eyes sign enough that the girl had come to the same conclusion.

Octavia seemed to have trouble standing still at the moment and constantly fidgeted in place. The commander was aware how hard it must have been for the younger girl to warn Indra and by thus possibly condemn her own brother to death.

Indra had her jaw clenched and had kept a hand on the pommel of her sword dangling at her hip ready to fight at a moment’s notice. Her brown eyes were hard and fury burned in them.

Marie was silently thankful that Lexa had insisted that she sat down, she felt out of breath and her chest had started to hurt again from the exertion of trying to keep up. She hated waiting with a passion and the minutes seemed to tic by awfully slowly, no one spoke a word and everyone seemed to strain their hearing for the tell-tale signs of a struggle in the corridors.

Marie had expected to feel relieve when suddenly there were sounds coming from the corridors instead she felt her whole body tense in anticipation and her breathing became laborious once again.

Lexa seemed to straighten on her throne as well while her expression remained carved out of stone the clench in her jaw relied her calmness. Gustus and Ryder stood protectively flanking the throne on both sides.

The huge doors to the throne room were pushed open a moment later but the intensity of the noise from the halls had already announced the arrival of the group.

The group was larger than Lexa had anticipated and it was easy to identify the ten members of Skykru who had tried to get into the dungeons of the tower. They were all more or less battered and already heavily restrained, some even gagged.

Anya was dragging Bellamy along, the commander recognized the young man from the preparations against the Mountain. Her brown eyes blazed with nearly untamed fury, her features contorted into a vicious mask. “Five wounded guards, Heda” the general said through clenched teeth voice cutting as she added “Two fallen”.

Lexa ground her teeth together her green eyes flashing dangerously almost gleaming while they were accentuated by the black war paint giving her an almost feral image. Two more lives claimed by the invaders of the Sky, how many more had to fall at their hands?

“I have sent aid to you to help you through the cold season” Lexa started outwardly calm “And this is the gratitude Skykru shows” there was an almost bitter edge to her tone. She was still steadfast in her opinion that sharing their culture with Skykru would be beneficial for the clans in the long run, but the more Skykru pushed the less likely this would ever come to pass.

The eyes of the Skykru that met her gaze were all angry and distrustful, Bellamy’s dark eyes were fixed on Octavia. He seemed angry to see his sister standing beside Indra and Lexa concluded that Octavia must have warned the village chief, in a way even betraying her brother. If not for the piece of cloths shoved into the young man’s mouth he would have probably hurled some words at his sister standing next to Indra, swallowing forcefully every few seconds and worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. The ones who did not look at her were all pale and it probably dawned on them what they had actually done and what the likely consequence would be.

“Which guards have fallen and who has shot them?” the commander demanded to know. Anya forced Bellamy to his knees with a swift kick to the backside of his knees as the man had started to struggle against her hold.

Two others were forced down onto their knees. A man probably around the same age as Lexa herself was and a woman she recognized and thought was called Hannah Green, these two were the ones responsible directly for a death of one of her warriors. The commander was aware that she did not have any other choice than to execute these two alongside Charles Pike at dawn.

Anya told her the names of the two guards which had already died and the five who had been wounded in the assault. Lexa ground her teeth together angrily. The first guard who had died was a boy still, barely fifteen summers old and had just started his duty at the tower a few moons ago. The second who had been lethally wounded had been a warrior from TonDC. Lexa knew that he left behind two children and his wife was currently awaiting the third child.

Marie did not know any of the names Anya was enumerating but she thought it did not matter if she knew them or not. Every life forcefully taken was one too many.

Lexa breathed out slowly through her nose trying to reign in her temper trying to flare up. Her hands itched with the longing to simply take her swords and end all of those fools where they stood.

“It seems Skykru does not know how to formally declare a war” she drawled almost in a bored tone. Anya’s brown eyes flashed catching on to what her former second wanted to say immediately.

The commander levelled all of them with a glare, her patience and the heavy silence settling over them more cutting than a dagger to their flesh. Beads of sweat were gathering on Bellamy’s brows in anticipation.

“I grant Skykru the right to travel through Kongeda lands and you use it to invade our sacred capitol” Lexa continued her unyielding gaze still travelling over all of them “A place of peace, murdering two guards on their duty in cold blood. These cannot stand ….”

Sudden noises of a struggle outside of the throne room made the commander pause in her speech, straining her hearing for what was going on. It took her only a moment to recognize Clarke’s voice arguing with the guards still posted in front of the doors. The blonde leader loudly demanded entry into the throne room.

“Let her pass” Lexa called loud enough for the guards outside of the door to hear and the doors were promptly pulled open.

Clarke rushed inside in a flurry, her pale face flushed from the cold and she remained rooted on the spot when she noticed that she had arrived too late. The group of her people had already been captured and brought in front of the commander to await her judgment. The woman’s shoulders dropped at the feelings of her failure when she spotted Bellamy and Jasper being part of the group.

Lexa could watch the younger woman breathe deeply and determination returned into her blue eyes as she met her gaze, her voice was strong and unwavering as she asked “Can I talk to you for a moment, privately?”

The commander raised a dubious brow at the other leader but inclined her head, following an instinctual feeling, standing from her throne in one swift movement and motioned to the balcony. Clarke eagerly nodded and followed Lexa over onto the balcony.

While Lexa could see Clarke shivering when the cold wind hit them, she herself welcomed the fresh breeze on her face, sharpening her senses. Anya snorted under her breath, if Clarke had been aware that almost half of these short talks ended with the other participant screaming as they plummeted from the tower to their certain death, the general knew the blonde girl would not have been these eagerly to step foot on the balcony. Marie’s grey eyes were hefted onto Anya, worry at what was happening clear in them.

Lexa turned back to face Clarke simply waiting for the other woman to speak. When Clarke seemed lost for her words almost shrinking under her unyielding stare and it became obvious that the other leader was still trying to come up with something Lexa spoke up, the hint of a tease glinting in her eyes “Have you come to make me an offer again, Clarke of the Sky people?”


	116. Chapter 116

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 115  
> Marie is finally allowed out of bed again. Indra and Octavia arrive in Polis, warning the commander of a group of Skykru rebels on their way to break free Charles Pike. Lexa has the group overpowered by her guards and brought to the throne room. Two of her guards are killed in the process. Clarke arrives and wishes to speak to Lexa.

Chapter 116

Clarke straightened her shoulders swallowing harshly before she said “Lexa, please …”

The commander’s temper flared briefly and her green eyes danced with fury “What “please”? You want to ask me again to be merciful?!”

She could see Clarke swallowing again and the other leader took a small step back efficiently bringing more distance between them “I have tried to reach Polis before them” she said voice desperate “They have knocked out other guards to get to the weapons” her eyes showed her own frustration with the group. She had worked so hard the last days to convince her people that joining the coalition was the only sensible choice for them and had finally had the agreement of the council when the next shift of guard had reported the missing guns.

Lexa clenched her jaw together angrily. This only confirmed her opinion how lacking the control of the Skykru council was over their population. It also highlighted that she could not allow Skykru to keep even a single of their guns or such mishaps would keep on repeating.

“It seems that Octavia was able to warn you, before something could happen” Clarke continued voice hopeful.

Lexa’s green eyes blazed “But something did happen, Clarke” she said voice clipped and angry “Two more of my guards have been killed, five more injured. More blood has been spilled and this will not stand unpunished!”

Shock and resignation flickered through Clarke’s expressive blue eyes. It was obvious the other woman had hoped that no one had been hurt again.

“Marching on our beloved capitol is high treason, Clarke” Lexa clarified voice and eyes hard “Treason punishable by death”.

The commander could see Clarke swallowing forcefully again before she continued not giving the other woman a chance to speak up “It lets me question my offer for your people to join the coalition” her voice was deathly serious and for a moment the only sound came from the wind wiping around their faces.

Clarke had paled considerably before she boldly said “Skykru will leave the punishment to you, commander”.

It did not go unnoticed how the blonde had switched back to her formal title and the pain she felt reflected strongly on her face.

“What have your people decided?” Lexa asked voice slightly calmer again. She doubted that the Skykru council would be pleased to lose ten people to her judgment.

“We will join under your banner, commander” Clarke said voice strong and eyes determined.

Lexa nodded feeling a slight weight lift from her shoulders. They would need to talk about specific requirements at a later point.

When Lexa turned around to return into the throne room Clarke suddenly grabbed one of her arms. Lexa remained standing frozen on the spot and turned back to slightly glare at the blonde leader and Clarke removed her hand quickly a slight blush colouring her cheeks.

“Are you going to execute all of them?” Clarke asked worry and pain battling in her blue eyes.

Lexa met her conflicted gaze with calm green eyes. She remembered that Clarke and Bellamy seemed to share a rather strong bond and it did not surprise her in the slightest that she would try to plead for his life. Two others in the group were close enough to Clarke’s age that they could have been part of the Skykru group sent to earth first.

“The two who have shot my guards will die alongside Charles Pike at dawn” Lexa said after a moment “The others still committed treason”.

“But is there nothing else but an execution?” Clarke pleaded eyes desperate.

Lexa clenched her jaw feeling a flash of empathy for the blonde but she knew that she needed to show strength to Skykru and the other clans or she would be the one to suffer the retribution later on. “Sparing their lives will weaken my own position, Clarke” Lexa said voice clipped again “There is nothing I can do”.

Clarke once again reached out halting Lexa’s steps back into the throne room and her voice wavered as she said “And if I kneel to you…?”

Lexa whirled around again facing the blonde and Clarke took a step back surprised by the fury in her green eyes.

“You said it would strengthen your position and help my people” Clarke clarified eyes still pleading with her mutely although there was a conflict raging in her blue eyes, clearly torn between saving her friends and submitting to the commander.

Lexa clenched her jaw, contemplating the offer in her mind. The other woman was right, having Wanheda kneel for her in front of the other clans would far outweigh her sparing the lives of the others of the group, they would still need to receive a public punishment, but one they may survive.

“I will kneel to you in front of the ambassadors” Clarke repeated “Wanheda submitting to the commander” her voice sounded almost bitter and it was obvious she would only do it to save her friends.

Lexa felt anger flare in her mind at the blonde leader. Her offer was sensible enough, but it still angered her how unwilling the blonde obviously still was to do something for her. It may be the right decision on a political level but it would surely separate them even further on a personal level.

Lexa finally nodded her face and voice completely void of any emotion “You may have your deal, Clarke of the Sky people. The other eight will be punished with a redemption rite”.

Clarke seemed to breathe deeper in relieve although the other woman surely could not know what such a rite contained. The commander nodded once to the other woman mutely before she returned to the throne room Clarke trailing behind her.

“Bring all of them into the dungeons to await their punishment” Lexa proclaimed with finality to her voice. She could see Octavia stiffening in anticipation.

The guards all immediately obeyed her command without any hesitation hauling the prisoners from Skykru behind them forcefully. Anya let another guard take over Bellamy and stayed inside the throne room as well stepping up behind Marie and placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The girl looked pale and slightly shaken.

“When can Skykru officially join the coalition?” Clarke asked after the doors fell shut again and the sounds of the guards escorting the prisoners faded from the halls.

“Can you communicate with your people without travelling to them?” Lexa asked sitting down on her throne again. She would want to get it over with as soon as possible.

Clarke nodded pulling a radio from a pocket inside of her coat.

“Contact them” Lexa ordered “We can finalize the conditions tomorrow after the executions”.

The blonde young woman nodded but hesitated a moment before she asked “Is the room I stayed in still available?”

The commander nodded mutely and Clarke left without another word exchanging a heavy gaze with Lexa before she turned. Lexa asked Octavia about her bonding quickly and the young woman assured her it would be an absolute honour if she could hold the ceremony in Polis, so she dismissed both Indra and Octavia who were bound to be tired from the hard travels to reach the capitol in time.

“They are still joining the coalition?” Anya asked slight confusion showing on her face once they were alone in the throne room with only Gustus and Ryder.

Marie had problems following the conversation around her, her head felt fuzzy and her eyes hurt.

Lexa sighed deeply and her displeasure was apparent in her tone “The great Wanheda will kneel in front of me”.

Anya raised a brow at that and she barely contained her snort of disbelieve. She of course knew that it would help Lexa showing that Wanheda did not possess more strength than the commander by having her submit publicly. But Anya also could picture how it would feel to Lexa knowing that Clarke would only bend her knees in front of her to save her people.

“Will they all be executed?” Marie asked voice small as she did so, eyes huge in her pale face.

Lexa shook her head “No, only the two who directly ended one of the guard’s lives will die alongside Pike.

Anya looked at the younger woman with a frown on her face mutely asking what was to happen with the others. All of them had been caught committing a heavy crime and even if Wanheda bowed in front of Lexa that would not be enough to appease the clans if the commander let the others return without consequences. The general’s confusion was mirrored on their charge’s face who had cocked her head slightly in silent question as well.

“They will undergo the rite of redemption” the commander answered both of their questions.

“What is that?” Marie immediately wanted to know head still tilted in thought. The girl tried to remember if she had heard of that already, but the phrase did not sound familiar to her at all.

“The rite of redemption is a form of punishment” Anya explained “It usually consists of a whipping. The number of lashes depends on the severity of the crime. The lashes have to be taken without any sound for the redemption to be accepted. Crying out symbolizes weakness and someone who cannot face the repercussions of their crimes and is without honour. If the culprit manages the lashing he has to survive one day without the aid of a healer, before the culprit is officially cleared of his sins. If the culprit fails the rite of redemption he is considered to be out of honour and is banned from the land of the Kongeda, not allowed to return to any clan.”

“So not all crimes are convicted with death?” Marie added another question.

Lexa shook her head “No, Marie, not all crimes do warrant a death penalty.”

When the girl started to cough violently again Lexa proclaimed that they would return to their quarters. They would only need Marie to be present at the executions again tomorrow morning and she wanted the girl to rest until then. It was obvious that the time out of bed had already put a strain on her weakened body. The girl’s skin looked paler already and a sheen of sweat had gathered on her forehead.

Anya walked immediately behind the girl with a hand on her shoulder keeping her steady as Marie’s step seemed to waver.

Marie felt internally relieved when they reached the commander’s quarters, the way had seemed awfully long to her. The girl did not disagree at all when Anya ordered her to shrug out of her outer clothes and return to the bed.

Lexa took the girl’s coat and stored it away and crouched down in front of her unlacing the girl’s boots for her while Anya prepared a tea for their charge.

After Marie had laid down under the furs again Lexa gently felt the girl’s temperature on her forehead but it felt only slightly elated.

“Marie” Lexa addressed her voice and eyes once again gentle “You need to drink the tea” she admonished the girl who was already in the process of falling asleep.

The commander gently shook the girl’s shoulder prompting a whiny sound from their charge’s mouth. She pulled the girl’s back up into a sitting position and stayed sitting beside Marie on the bed watching her drink the tea and gently jostling her again when her grey eyes closed. Once the cup was finally drained Lexa pushed Marie down again and the girl immediately let her eyes fall close and drifted off into an exhausted slumber.

“She will get stronger again” Anya said when Lexa came over from the bed to the couch.

Risha who had slept rolled together on the couch on which Lexa sat down perked up immediately. Her icy blue eyes glancing up at the commander. The cup shortly stretched out its limps and then crawled over to the woman tapping a soft paw against her thigh for attention.

A smile pulled at Lexa’s lips as she carded her fingers through Risha’s grey soft fur and the cub crawled into her lap making herself comfortable there.

Anya looked at the small animal critically shaking her head slightly at its antics.

The commander glanced over to Marie’s sleeping form for a moment, the girl awfully small hidden under a bunch of furs only some blonde hair peeking out “She has the whole cold season to recover her health” she commented.

The general nodded silence settling between them. Her brown eyes were hefted onto Lexa’s face and the clench to her jaw, still broadcasting the other woman’s obvious frustration. “About Clarke…” Anya started voice calm and watching Lexa’s face intently.

“Don’t” the commander almost hissed through clenched teeth. Her fingers paused momentarily as she let them glide through the cub’s soft fur, before she exhaled forcefully and resumed stroking the animal.

Anya nodded mutely knowing better than to push the young woman sitting across from her and instead let the subject drop “What are you going to demand from Skykru specifically?”

“They will need to destroy their guns, all of them” Lexa said in a voice that clearly showed she would not budge one bit on this condition.

Anya raised a questioning brow at her former second “And you truly think they will accept that?” She agreed with Lexa on a certain level that Skykru would forever be separated from them if they clung to their guns, as the distrust would never completely stop this way, but she doubted they would agree to this. But it would be a hard and abrupt transition for Skykru, she doubted they had yet adapted to their ways.

“They will better” Lexa answered voice and eyes hard and unyielding. It was clear she would not put this up for negotiation. Skykru would either accept or there would be war. “Had Octavia not warned Indra, this small group of armed rebels could have conquered the tower by surprise and the power of bullets alone” the commander’s voice was grave and her shoulders seemed to be slumped weighted down by the responsibility resting heavy on her small frame.

Anya nodded expression as grave. The only thing that had kept the Mountain Men slightly manageable was that they could not breathe their air. Their warriors would never be able to win against an army armed with guns. They would always need to trust Skykru not to suddenly launch a surprise attack against them.

They continued to speak about different conditions, Lexa listening to her former mentor’s opinions on the matters patiently. It was obvious Lexa had strengthened the sanctions against Skykru considerably and her patience for the soon to be thirteenth clan seemed to run extremely thin.

Marie woke up some time later again eyes slightly blood shot and forcefully coughing again. She saw Lexa and Anya sitting on the couches across from each other lowly discussing something. Judging from the serious expressions on both of their faces probably politics Marie mused internally.

The girl stood from the bed a fur still tightened around her body and padded over to them, mutely squeezing herself next to Anya on the small couch and cuddling up to the slightly surprised woman with a pitiful expression in her pale face.

Lexa watched the girl’s behaviour with a soft smile tugging at her lips while Anya seemed to supress a sigh and laid an arm around the girl’s form over the fur pulling her tighter against herself. They both watched how Marie closed her eyes again a moment later and fell asleep again in Anya’s warm embrace.

“If all of Skykru could be satisfied this easily” Lexa almost snorted under her breath still looking at their sleeping charge. She could not remember if she herself had ever been this clingy when sick, but she had rarely been sick at all as a child.

Anya unsuccessfully tried to contain a bark of dark laughter pulling a groan of protest from Marie’s lips at the movement jostling her comfortable position. “I doubt that would go over well” she retorted as she stroke over Marie’s blonde hair gently shushing the girl again quickly in the process.

They were still discussing what was to happen now when a knock resonated from the door, Clarke bidding entry into the commander’s chambers.

Lexa called out to let her in and Anya could watch her former second slip the mask of the commander over her features, face and eyes turning expressionless and calm.

The blonde woman strode into the chambers shoulders squared and head held high but Anya could easily spot the barely concealed shaking in her hands belying her calm façade.

“Have your people decided to revoke their word again?” the commander asked almost in a mocking tone green eyes gleaming dangerously.

“No” Clarke shook her head voice slightly shaking as well “Kane and the council will arrive at dawn, without guns”.

Anya internally had to admit that Skykru had either already learned or were not as hopelessly foolish as she had originally thought.

Lexa inclined her head mutely waiting for why Clarke had come here in the first place. They had already agreed that their delegation could arrive tomorrow and they could be initiated into the coalition after agreeing on their terms.

“The council wanted to know the specific terms beforehand” the blonde young leader said and it was obvious she did not feel well asking for this.

Lexa clenched her jaw already sensing that Skykru was on the one hand expecting her to strengthen the terms and on the other hand probably wanting to plan ahead on how to appease her and lessen the terms again. “They will hear them tomorrow” the commander said voice ringing with finality.

Clarke swallowed forcefully slightly squirming under Lexa’s unyielding intense stare, her voice was even apologizing as she added “I am truly sorry for what happened”.

Anya shortly glanced at Lexa, her resolve had obviously not been softened by the apology. But they had lost another two warriors to the blonde leader’s people and Lexa’s words rang loudly in her ears. The commander had been extremely generous in the gifts and help she had given Skykru to last through the cold season but they did not seem to appreciate that at all.

It looked like Clarke had wanted to say more, but without any outward reaction from Lexa she breathed out a heavy breath and dismissed herself again without another word.

“She will only kneel in front of me to save Bellamy and her people” Lexa commented voice tinted with a silent anger after Clarke had left and only pure frustration had made her voice the words at all, almost as if she needed to voice them before she screamed in frustration.

Anya raised a questioning brow at the younger woman, aware that the anger was probably more actual jealousy than anything else, but she mused internally if Lexa was aware of that as well or if her former second was still trying to fight the painfully obvious attraction and connection both leaders had with each other.

The general sighed as Lexa suddenly sprung to her feet, Risha looking up at the woman with accusing eyes. The commander went over to another table and started scribbling down something in her journal, the scratch of the feather against the pages sounding almost angry.

There was no question in her mind that Lexa had already opened her heart irrevocably to the blonde leader. There was no explanation for her anger if her heart was not involved. She wondered if Lexa was angrier with herself for actually allowing herself this weakness or angry at the blonde that her stubbornness seemed to pull them apart even further.

In all honesty Anya had feared Lexa would never find someone again that made her open her heart again. After Costia’s death she had recognized less and less of Lexa within the powerful commander, as the younger woman locked herself away behind iron walls of calmness and power.

But as her general she was also aware how bad the timing was and how badly the clans would conceive a love between both leaders. Anya tightened her arms slightly around Marie’s form, with the way the commander and Wanheda were reacting to each other it was entirely possible that they would never move out of this strange conflict of stubbornness and pride. She was not sure if she should hope that Clarke would leave Polis soon or stay, so that the both of them could sometime recognize what they might be to each other.


	117. Chapter 117

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 116  
> As a last resort Clarke offers to kneel in front of the clans to Lexa, Wanheda submitting to the commander. Lexa decides that only the two who killed a guard will be executed, the others will undergo the rite of redemption. Anya and Lexa discuss some specific points the commander will require off Skykru. Clarke tries to talk with Lexa, but the atmosphere between them is tenser than ever.

Chapter 117

Marie was shaken awake again later when the night already started to fall around the tower by Anya’s gentle hand on her shoulder. She had slept away peacefully for a few hours and Anya had patiently remained on the couch leafing through a book trying not to disturb their charge’s rest.

Alira had just brought a tray with dinner into the commander’s chambers and Lexa had stopped writing in her journal. She was calmer again, writing down her thoughts on paper sometimes helped her see a different perspective to them and allowed her to let them rest, knowing that she had a physical reminder of her thoughts.

Anya waited until Marie had scooted back out of their weird embrace and sat up against the backrest still keeping the fur wound around her body tightly. She handed a bowl containing a still steaming and strongly smelling broth and a piece of soft bread together with a wooden spoon over to the girl.

Lexa joined them a few moments later taking a bowl for herself and watched with a barely concealed smirk as Risha started to beg at Anya’s knees for food. The cub seemed to have more than a healthy appetite and she also seemed to grow slightly daily now. She estimated the cub would be fully grown when the snow melted again in spring.

“Do I have to be at the executions?” Marie asked after she had finished almost half of her broth already. Her grey eyes seemed extremely big in her pale face still accentuated by the war paint, which had become smudged in a few places.

Lexa looked up from her own dinner and regarded their charge for a moment. The girl had truly lost weight over the last days and looked smaller and frailer than ever, but as her second she was expected to be there and as the fever had not returned there was no sensible reason to not have her attend. “Yes” the commander answered voice kind “You will be expected to participate and place your cuts after me and Anya”.

Marie swallowed rather harshly but she nodded looking down into the bowl clasped in her hands. It was obvious the girl did not feel well with the prospect of being involved in more executions.

Neither Lexa nor Anya knew what to say to the child to ease her obviously troubled mind. Executions had been a normal occurrence for both of them, a simple fact of life they had grown up with. Marie also had grown up in an environment where death penalty was nothing extraordinary but it was still different if you were truly participating in the execution by placing a cut and drawing blood from the culprit.

Risha trying to actually climb up into Anya’s lap to get a hold of a piece of a bread diffused the slight tension in the room and pulled happy giggles from Marie’s lips. The general glared down at the impertinent wolf cub and firmly shoved the animal down on the ground keeping her there for a moment until the cub ceased its struggle and submitted.

The girl’s lips were still tilted into a smile when Anya looked at her with an expression that clearly conveyed that the general regarded it solely Marie’s fault that she now had to deal with the cub as well.

“When can I start to train again?” Marie asked after a few moments.

Anya furrowed her brow before she answered “When you are healthy again”.

“Mmh” Marie hummed nonchalantly obviously not satisfied with the answer and the time it took her to get better again.

Lexa smiled at their charge kindly knowing all too well how impatient you could get with yourself “You will get better in no time, Marie. But better rest now, when training is only slightly possible in the cold season, than remain sick for longer”.

The girl nodded as the argument made sense to her. She still had some of the bread left and did not feel like eating anymore so Marie dangled the piece of bread in front of Risha.

Anya thinned her lips obviously displeased with the girl feeding the cub while they still ate. It was no wonder the animal thought it normal to beg for food at the table. Lexa slightly shook her head signalling to the older woman to let the matter rest for now.

Lexa ordered Marie to go into the bathroom and wash the war paint from her face. She had seen that some of the black pigment had already been smudged onto a pillow and a fur and she knew that it was nearly impossible to wash out. When she had fallen asleep with her war paint on against Anya’s orders years ago still relatively fresh as a second, the woman had let her try to wash out the black pigment in a cold stream, so she knew from experience how hard it was to remove the strains again.

The girl obeyed immediately and returned with her pale face scrubbed clean again. The commander gave Marie the book again she had already started to practise the written form of Trigedasleng with and the girl spent some time trying to improve her skill. It was obvious she was rather impatient with it and that the task seemed taxing on her mind; it did not take the girl long to start to fall asleep.

Lexa did not think it necessary to chastise their charge although Anya seemed slightly annoyed by the girl’s lacking focus while practicing. “She will get better” Lexa reassured both of them again to which Anya only mutely rolled her eyes.

The night would be short for all of them. The executions and the rites of redemption would start long before the sun rose. She would end the lives of the Skykru men with the first rays of sunshine of the new day, so they would be required to leave her chambers extremely early.

Lexa had contemplated not sleeping at all before the executions would start but with the prospect of having to deal with the Skykru council after the executions and surely the ambassadors of the clans after that, she knew she would need all the rest she could get now for the upcoming day.

Anya had already laid down on the bed when Marie returned from the bathroom, having slipped from the bed shortly to relieve herself when Anya and Lexa started to get ready to settle for the night, and Lexa took her turn to wash off the war paint. The girl slipped under the furs beside Anya looking up at the older woman with her grey eyes and it was obvious from her expression that something was still troubling her mind.

Anya thought it would probably be still about the executions and tried to reassure the girl “You have already seen several executions, Marie, it won’t be any different now”.

For a short moment the girl looked confused before she slightly shook her head and a faint blush creeped up her pale cheeks, her voice was soft and unsure as she said “It is not that”.

Anya raised a questioning brow at their charge and waited for the child to speak her mind. She internally mused why the girl was suddenly shy about whatever was on her mind. From the corner of her eye she could see Lexa approaching the bed, face washed clean of the black mask of war paint and a black nightgown on her lean frame.

Marie surprised her by repeating the same mumbled “love you” from a night ago and instantly the girl scooted over and cuddled up to her. Anya could see her grey eyes peeking up at her shyly trying to gauge her reaction. Even though Anya had heard the girl say these very words already, she was still stunned slightly, now the girl was definitely conscious again about what she was saying. Anya’s mouth seemed to have gone as dry as the Dead Zone and her tongue felt foreign in her mouth, unable to form any actual words at the moment, she reassuringly tightened her arms around the girl’s frame, hoping that the gesture would be answer enough for now.

Lexa watched the scene with contrasting emotions. It was heart-warming to see the girl’s honest emotions so clearly written on her young face, the adoration she felt for the older woman absolutely clear in the deep trust between them. It was also slightly humorous to watch Anya falter like this, the usually so stoic woman disarmed so easily and completely by the child.

But she still could not help the slight flare of, if she dared name it, jealousy. She could not remember if she ever said to her general that she loved her in the innocent way Marie just had when she had still been the woman’s second. But she doubted she ever had, although she had of course also trusted and even adored her former mentor there had still always been a slight invisible barrier of respect between them. Lexa had as a child growing up under Anya’s tutelage seen the older woman as a sort of a family to her, having none other left, but still the connection had not been like this.

On the other hand she wondered if Marie truly held her in the same high regard she did with Anya. The commander was well aware that Marie and Anya had sort of instantly found a connection to each other and it had taken her much longer to find any connection with the young girl. Doubts made themselves known in her mind, reeling up their ugly heads, loudly telling her, that she was not even deserving of the same love as Anya was for several reasons. She had made the decision to abandon the girl at the Mountain and she was first and foremost the commander which would always mean that she needed to keep a certain distance to others. To be commander meant to be alone after all.

Anya watched the conflicting emotions flit over Lexa’s unusually expressive face with a frown. The way Lexa tightened her jaw and seemed to swallow harshly, lying down on the other side of the bed, keeping a definite gap between them did not sit well with her at all. The commander had turned her back on both of them immediately and Anya huffed under her breath aware that trying to talk to the younger woman now would not help.

Marie had already started to drift off, her body going slacker against Anya’s side and her breathing slowly evening out, so she was totally unaware of the effect her words had had on Lexa.

Lexa was the first to rise from the bed after a few hours and the commander felt as if she had not slept at all; no matter how hard she had tried she had failed to silence her thoughts.

Anya woke to the sound of Lexa starting to dress herself again in her commander regalia and when she herself slipped out from under the furs, she gently shook Marie awake as well. The girl grumbled unintelligibly clearly less than pleased to be woken at this hour and it took her a few minutes to blink her grey eyes open and stand up from the bed on wobbly legs.

Anya had thought about addressing Marie’s declaration to Lexa while the girl was in the bathroom but the other woman had already seemed firmly settled behind her impenetrable mask so that she had let the matter rest for now. There would surely still be time to talk with her later.

They got dressed in silence and after applying her own war paint Anya motioned for Marie to sit on a stool and carefully applied the black pigment around the girl’s eyes for her. The girl scrunched up her nose when the stroke of the fine brush tickled against her skin. “Hold still” Anya admonished their charge in a slightly clipped tone unwilling to have to start over with the design.

The way down to the base of the tower was silent as well. Gustus and Ryder fell into step in front of the commander and Lexa’s features were set in stone at the moment. Marie herself was uncharacteristically silent as well and her whole posture spoke about how unwell she felt with what was to happen now. Marie kept closely to Anya standing as close to the woman’s body as possible without outright touching her.

It was still pitch black outside but the place in front of the tower was already crowded with people. Marie silently mused if the whole city was already on their feet now to attend the public punishments. The air was icy cold around them but fortunately it was not snowing anymore.

The commander preceded them onto the wooden podium where Marie had already seen executions before, after she had nearly killed the woman accidentally. She instantly spotted Titus and the nightbloods together with a woman she did not know yet already standing on the podium. Ontari stood out starkly among the other nightbloods, the young woman stood separated from the others flanked by two guards on both sides. Chairs had been set up for every ambassador and the clans’ small delegations were also already waiting for the commander.

Lexa’s appearance seemed to be a sign for the guards at the base of the tower to retrieve the prisoners. Anya had explained to Marie that the rites of redemption would take place after the executions.

After a few moments three pairs of guards brought forth the three prisoners that were bound to die now. Pike was heavily struggling against the hold of the guards while the other two seemed to have resigned themselves to their fate.

By the reactions of the people standing around the podium it was clear that word had spread through the capitol about Charles Pike’s views, but the presence of the other two caused some puzzlement and muttering went through the onlookers.

“People of Polis” Lexa stood in the middle of the podium her green eyes almost blazing in their intensity accentuated by the war paint, her voice was loud and clear and easily carried over the crowd. Marie was fascinated with how everyone fell silent instantly when Lexa started her speech.

“We are gathered here to implement justice” the commander said loudly “Justice for the insult against our very culture from Charles from the Sky people and two other members of Skykru who tried to break into the tower to free the man. Two of our guards have been killed in the senseless act and blood must have blood. So it is their blood that will be spilled now”.

Sounds of approval came from the gathered crowd of citizens and Marie could see how eager they all seemed to watch how the promised blood would be spilt in a few moments.

The prisoners had been tied to three poles on the podium and the gag was removed from Pike’s mouth. The dark skinned man spit into one of the guard’s faces immediately and started shouting angrily.

“Gag him again” Lexa commanded in an almost lazy and bored tone, her green eyes staring at the bound man venomously.

Marie spotted Indra together with Octavia and Lincoln, who was lowly talking to Clarke, at the front of the crowd directly in front of the podium. Octavia and Clarke both looked nervous and the dark haired girl had a slight greenish tint to her skin, as if she would get sick any moment. She watched how Titus handed a ceremonial dagger to Lexa and the commander strode over to the prisoners placing one quick cut directly on the skin covering their collarbones and a cheer ran through the crowd at the first spilled blood.

Marie tried to contain a shudder glancing up at Anya for a moment before the woman stepped away from her meeting the commander halfway and taking the dagger from her gloved hand. The general placed her own cuts with a sure hand and she personally took satisfaction in making and seeing Pike bleed. She unobtrusively pressed Marie’s fingers in what she hoped to be a silent reassuring gesture when she handed the dagger over to their charge. Anya felt the shake to the girl’s small fingers but she walked with her back straight and her head held high.

Marie felt her breaths coming in erratic short bursts but she tried to school her features as she stepped up to Hannah Green first. With a sinking heart she could spot the resemblance between the woman and her son Monty in her aged face. Hannah’s dark eyes were angry as she stared down at Marie and the girl visibly faltered in her step, the dagger in her hand shaking strongly. But Marie kept her fingers locked around the handle of the dagger and placed a shallow cut on the woman’s exposed stomach directly above her hipbone.

She did not recognize the man tied to the pole next to her. Marie had no idea on which station he had been born but she doubted he had come from Farm Station. Her fingers shook less when she cut into his flesh quickly moving over to Pike. Marie met his heated glare with her chin jutted out defiantly. The cut she placed on his chest was the deepest she had done and her fingers had stopped shaking all together. She was still relived when she could hand over the dagger to Titus who already walked in her direction.

Marie walked back to Anya’s side feeling the woman’s presence calming her immediately. For her the real torture began now. Standing still beside Anya and waiting for the executions to come to an end seemed to take an eternity. It did not take long for Hannah and the other man to scream in pain when a new cut was placed on their bodies. Pike’s sounds of pain were muffled by the gag still in mouth but Marie was sure he would have started to scream as well by now. The screams rang loudly in her ears and after some time Marie was starting to feel slightly woozy and leant against Anya for support.

She barely registered when Hannah was the first one to die on the pole. The woman had not survived long enough for all the onlookers to receive the dagger at least once. The second man sustained longer but also died before the dagger had stopped its round. Pike was the only one to survive every cut and Marie heard the sound Lexa’s sword made when the commander pulled it from its scabbard to end the man’s life.

The crowd had started up to chant “ _Jus drein, jus daun_ ” which made Marie shiver slightly as she inched closer to Anya. She felt the woman snake an arm around her shoulder pulling her closer.

The timing of the executions seemed to have been perfect. Marie could see the first rays of sunshine tinting the horizon into a warm orange, just as Lexa pushed the tip of her sword directly into Pike’s heart ending his life in a single precise movement.

The crowd instantly stopped its chanting as Lexa pulled the bloodied sword out of Pike’s body and the man’s head slumped forward onto his chest as his last breath left his body. The commander held up a hand silencing even the last whispers among the crowd and motioned to the guards to bring out the other eight prisoners.

The commander quickly proclaimed that these Skykru had been part of the group who had tried to enter the tower and break out Pike and would receive the chance for redemption through their traditional cleansing rite.

Marie had not known beforehand that the rites were usually performed by either the village chief, a blood relative or someone else close to the culprit.

As the culprits now were Skykru and not from one of their clans Lexa had accommodated the rites to be performed by the guards which had been on duty when the Skykru rebels tried to get in. Indra made the only exception and had stepped up to claim the right to perform the rite on Bellamy. If Octavia had already been introduced into Trikru she could have done so herself.

Marie watched on with widened eyes how the corpses of the three executed were removed from the poles and Bellamy was the first on to be tied to the pole in the middle with his back facing the crowd. His shirt was ripped open exposing his back and Indra stepped forward receiving a whip with three plaits. The dark skinned warrior spoke a few quiet words to the young man before she raised the whip above her head.

Anya felt the girl giving a jerk under her arm when Indra brought down the leash the first time with a resonating cracking sound. The general felt the girl shivering pressed against her and doubted the shivering came from the cold alone. She mused that Indra had warned the Skykru boy to contain his sounds of pain. She could see him gulping in air forcefully but he did not scream.

Clarke and Octavia were both visibly affected by what was going on and it looked like Lincoln had to physically hold both of them back from trying to interfere while Bellamy’s skin already showed angry red welts.

Lexa watched Bellamy’s punishment with expressionless features. After around ten lashes the skin on his back finally broke and blood started to flow down his back. He seemed to wince with every new lash but he remained resolutely silent.

After thirty lashes the commander called an end to the lashing. Indra had visibly broken a sweat and her breathing was heavy, but Bellamy had managed the actual rite without crying out. She motioned to guards to untie the young man from the pole and escort him back into the dungeons. He would stay there until the same time tomorrow and either be free to leave or perish to his wounds.


	118. Chapter 118

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi =)  
> A big thanks to all of those who take the effort and write a short review =)   
> I will probably not be able to post the next chapter for a week, as my family will be on visit. 
> 
> Previously in chapter 117  
> Lexa watches Marie repeat her declaration to Anya and feels jealous. The executions take place and Bellamy’s rite of redemption.

Chapter 118

Bellamy leaned heavily onto the guard who untied him, he would have probably fallen face flat onto the wood of the podium if not for the guard. Indra stepped in front of Octavia who had tried to hurry onto the podium and blocked her way to her brother, shaking her head vehemently and ordering the girl to return to her place in a sharp tone. Interfering now would mean a punishment for Octavia as well.

Marie watched how Jasper was the next one to be tied to the pole. The boy’s features were ashen and it was obvious seeing Bellamy receive his lashing had shocked him deeply. The wood beneath his feet was already coated in fresh blood giving it a weird wet shine as sun rays were reflected on it.

A guard she did not know by name stepped forth taking the whip from Indra. A bandage was visible under his light armour so he had probably been wounded during Skykru’s attack. The difference between the two became apparent quickly as he delivered the first lash against Jasper’s back. While Indra’s lashes had been anything but weak, the guard brought the whip down even more viciously breaking skin already with the third lash.

Anya felt Marie giving a small jump with every lash that cracked harshly against the boy’s back. The general watched with a slight frown and it was no wonder to her that the young man started to cry out in pain after the seventh lash. A short glance to the commander told her that Lexa still thought the delivery of the rite’s whipping acceptable so this boy’s fate was sealed now. Sometimes the commander could revoke the punishment as null if the delivery had not been done in an honourable way. There was a difference between vengeance and justice after all. 

“I declare his redemption failed” the commander’s voice was hard as it carried over the crowd “He will be brought to the edge of the Dead Zone, forbidden to step foot back on Kongeda land. If he returns, he is under a kill order”. Lexa’s eyes were cold and unyielding as she proclaimed the sentence.

Marie looked between the commander and Jasper with widened eyes. She still remembered the almost goofy boy from the drop ship, he had been one of the few who had been rather friendly to her. Jasper was white as a sheet as he was untied from the pole, his face contorted into a grimace of pain and his eyes looked wild with obvious horror.

On the edge of the podium Marie could see Clarke heatedly speaking with Indra and Lincoln, both of them were obviously trying to convince the blonde woman to remain where she was and not cause a public scene.

The punishment resumed a few moments later when a woman was tied to the pole. Marie did not recognize her and she had no idea if she had ever seen her before. The whip was handed over to another guard and he did not waste a moment to start carrying out the lashing. The crack of the whip still made Marie jump slightly and the woman also failed the rite, crying out once the whip started to break her skin.

It continued like that with two others, a young man and a slightly older woman, probably around Anya’s age, both of them unknown to Marie. Marie found it extremely hard to watch the rites and she shivered involuntarily.

The mood within the crowd seemed to shift now that three of the culprits had failed their rites. Jasper and the other two had been brought back into a cell and would be brought to the edge of the Dead Zone once travelling was possible again for a caravan. Marie thought that many within the crowd looked at the other culprits waiting for their rites disparagingly. They had obviously already made up their minds that the members of Skykru were too weak to pass the rites and gain redemption.

Marie was shivering strongly now fully leaned against Anya’s body. Although she felt cold, she could feel sweat gathering on her brow and she felt slightly sick again. She recognized the next young woman being tied to the pole. It took her a few moments to place her, but she remembered that Zoe Monroe had also been part of the 100. She had not dealt much with her personally but Marie recognized the way she had worn her hair styled in three braids she was also wearing now.

When Anya looked down again at her charge worry flitted over her features, the girl’s face was even paler now and a sheen of sweat glistened on her face already smudging some of the war paint. The general had attributed her shivering to having to watch first the executions and now the lashing, but as she unobtrusively placed a hand on the girl’s neck above the collar of her coat she felt the girl’s skin heated and feverish.

There were still three rites waiting to be witnessed before they could return to the tower and Anya clenched her jaw, impatient for the whole procedure to be over. She knew she needed to get the girl back into the bed and rest as soon as possible. Anya opened her own coat enveloping the girl in the additional material and pulling her closer against herself, trying to warm her up.

The commander turned her head slightly catching Anya’s movements in the corner of her eye. Marie did barely register that Zoe succeeded in the lashing and was brought into the tower as well to wait in the dungeons with Bellamy for the next day, before they would be released back to Skykru. Although Lexa could not see much of their charge, it was still obvious that the girl obviously did not feel well. With a gesture of her hand she motioned for the next guard to step forward and continue the lashings, the sooner it was over the sooner Marie could be brought back into bed.

There was still one young woman and two young men waiting for their rites. The commander regarded them mutely as the next guard pulled forth one of the men. All three of them were pale faced and the fear was palpable in their eyes. The young man with dark hair and blue eyes steeled himself against the pole, keeping his mouth slightly open as the first lash crack upon his back harshly. Lexa could see him taking in a mouthful of shocked air at the pain but he remained silent. He managed to stay silent to the thirty lashes she had deemed enough for their rites and was escorted into the dungeons.

When another guard stood forth to retrieve the young woman still waiting, she started to plead shaking her head with tears gathered in her eyes “No, no, please”. The woman’s physical defences were feeble at best and the singular guard pulled her along as if he was pulling at a petulant child, seemingly without any effort.

The commander halted the guard and stepped closer to the woman “Do you not wish to undergo the rite of redemption?” she asked voice carefully emotionless, although internally she was confused; none of her own people would have even thought to refuse the rites. It was regarded as one of the greatest dishonoured deeds amongst her own people because it truly meant you were unwilling to face the consequences of your actions instead choosing to run from them like a coward.

But the young woman tied to the pole shook her head vehemently, eyes wild and her whole body shaking in obvious fright, trying to pull at the bindings keeping her tied to the pole. The commander stared the woman down silently for a moment, green eyes blazing angrily. She motioned for the guard who had tied her to the pole to free her.

An angry mutter went through the crowd reflecting the emotion burning in their leader’s eyes, as they watched the Skykru woman’s obvious relieve at having been spared from the lashing.

The last young man that awaited his own rite of redemption was more composed, he came willingly with the guard to the pole and he did not fight it when he was tied to the wood. Setting his feet firmly shoulder-width on the podium, putting his hands onto the pole for leverage and his mouth also slightly open. The lashing was delivered without many pauses and it was over soon, the man had succeeded as well.

The Skykru delegation which had been held back by a group of guards was now led to the tower. The corpses of Charles Pike, Hannah Green and the third man had been placed on a pyre and as the last act of the punishments the commander was handed a torch and ignited the pyre.

Lexa motioned for the group flanking the Skykru delegation to lead them into the tower. They would not be required to wait and see the pyre burn down, justice had been served and the punishments handed out. The one’s who had failed the rites would be brought to the edge of the Dead Zone by the next caravan travelling in that direction and the others would be free to leave the dungeons tomorrow, if they survived.

The commander spoke another few words to the crowd that did not register at all into Marie’s mind. The girl was now only being upheld by Anya, her whole body hot and cold at once and her legs unwilling to carry her weight any longer.

When Lexa started her way back to the tower Anya just swooped their charge into her arms. The lack of response from Marie to that alarmed her greatly. She had seen that the girl’s grey eyes were opened but they had a glassy look to them and the girl seemed torpid altogether. Lexa waited for them inside the tower to catch up.

The commander turned around and her green eyes were worried when she spotted Marie’s body hanging almost limply in Anya’s arms. From the corner of her eye she could already see the Skykru delegation nearing the tower and Clarke’s blonde hair stood out a mile among them. Lexa reached out with a gloved hand, fingertips ice cold, and gently touched the girl’s forehead.

“She is burning up” she noted with concern in her tone; the girl’s skin had felt almost boiling against her chilled fingertips. Lexa had not expected the girl’s fever to return with this severity.

Anya nodded her brown eyes reflecting the same deep worry and she slightly shook the girl in her arms trying to get a reaction from the child. “Marie?” she addressed the girl loudly, but there was no reaction from her.

“Bring her back into my chambers” the commander instructed and she took a step back from her general.

Before Anya could move in the direction of the elevator the Skykru delegation reached the entrance of the tower, Clarke preceding them. Her blue eyes still showed how shaken she was by the events she had just witnessed, but they got determined when she spotted and Marie and her obvious relapse. “I told you to keep her in bed for longer” her voice was tinted with annoyance and her eyes looked accusingly between Anya and the commander. Both of them bristled visibly at the direct accusation.

But Clarke did not wait for a verbal reaction from them and turned back to the other Skykru following her, specifically to her mother. “Did you bring the antibiotics I asked you to?” she questioned the older woman and Abby nodded motioning to the bag slung over her shoulder.

“An infusion will work quicker than giving her oral medication” Clarke said “It would be advisable to have her lie down for the infusion”.

The commander nodded by now familiar enough with the medicines Skykru used to know what the other woman meant. “We will talk about the specifics of Skykru joining the coalition in the throne room” she addressed the Skykru delegation.

Anya carried Marie to the elevator closely followed by Clarke. The doors of the elevator had barely closed when Clarke spoke up “Why can’t we see Bellamy and the others? They have passed the rites, have they not?”

The general thinned her lips at the obvious demand in the blonde’s tone “No, they have not. The rites end when the sun rises again tomorrow.”

“What does that mean?” Clarke demanded to know, worried confusion flashing over her face.

Anya sighed under breath, annoyed that obviously no one had described the specifics of the cleansing ritual to them. “The lashing was only part of the rites. If you succeeded to endure the lashing in silence, you would spent another day without help in silent contemplation.”

“Without aid?” Clarke questioned her voice slightly pitched higher.

Anya nodded “No one is allowed to see them. So no healers either”.

Clarke gulped in a mouthful of air forcefully “That is barbaric” the accusation her returned into her voice.

“Oh” Anya raised a questioning brow at the younger woman, her voice clearly showing her waning patience with the nonsense coming from the blonde leader. “And how pray tell would your people have punished the culprits on your Ark?” her voice was laced with a bitter sense of irony, already knowing the answer to her rhetorical question.

Clarke fiddled with the strap of the bag she had received from her mother looking anywhere but at Anya. But Anya simply waited staring at her with hard brown eyes, until the blonde conceded and sighed “They would have been floated” she admitted voice almost like a petulant child.

“So to get this straight once for all” Anya addressed her, voice as hard as her eyes. The general was almost relieved that Clarke had chosen to address the matter with her now in the privacy of the elevator, instead of facing the commander within the meeting and causing another scene and affront between their people.

“My people in comparison to yours, do not punish all crimes with death” she insisted vehemently her brown eyes boring into Clarke’s blue ones “Our ways may seem barbaric to your people, but your people are in fact no less barbaric then we are. It would be better for your people to realize that we are in fact not so different”. The general thought that Lexa had finally realized that Skykru indeed needed to be handled with the same unrelenting strictness and strength like the other clans and she doubted Clarke’s special treatment would last much longer, if the blonde kept on pushing her publicly.

Clarke seemed to mull her words over in the silence of her head on the rest of the way to the commander’s quarters. Two guards were still standing post outside of the door, after an assassin had found his way into the rooms while they had been unguarded, the doors were now under guard the complete day.

Anya stripped Marie from her coat and boots and laid the girl down on the bed while Clarke spread the contents of the bag onto a table next to the bed, assorting what she needed for Marie now.

The general watched with curious eyes how Clarke cleaned the crook of Marie’s arm with what she supposed to be alcohol judging from the smell and then set up a cannula in her arm for the injection. The young woman used a weird contraption Anya had already seen in the medical bay of the Ark to listen to Marie’s breathing for a few moments.

“Her breathing sounds slightly better” Clarke proclaimed to Anya storing some of the equipment back into the bag “But the relapse is not the best sign. The antibiotics should kick in quickly though. I have also given her something to bring down the fever quicker, it should start showing effects in a few minutes”.

Anya nodded sitting down in the chair beside the bed. She would be staying with Marie for now. She would have liked to be present for the negotiations with Skykru but she knew Lexa would tell her how everything had gone later anyway and her own input was not needed for that matter.

But Clarke obviously wanted to join the meeting “I will go to the throne room. She should be fine now. If her conditions worsens, have someone call me” she instructed.

The blonde lingered for a moment with a contemplative expression on her young features “Would Lexa have been in her rights to execute all of them?” it was clear she meant the Skykru culprits.

Anya scrutinized Clarke for a moment before she nodded “Only guards are allowed to carry weapons in the capitol. Bringing ones into the capitol is regarded as high treason. It was generous off the commander to afford them the rites of redemption.”

Clarke nodded that she understood. There was still so much about the culture of the grounders she had no idea about. But she knew that Anya was correct, if something like that would have happened on the Ark, all of them would have been floated without any hesitation. She left the commander’s chambers without another word, internally mulling over why Lexa had not insisted on executing all of them. She doubted that she submitting to the commander publicly would have really been enough to warrant the milder punishments.

It had not taken Clarke long to set up the treatment for Marie, but the mood in the throne room was tense already. Kane seemed frustrated, while her mother openly glared at the commander. Lexa herself sat on her throne, back rigid and shoulders tensed, jaw locked tightly and the stare in her green eyes hard and unrelenting. The only acknowledgment the commander gave her was a slight tilt of her head and a flitting glance at her arrival.

Clarke squared her shoulders exhaling loudly “What is the problem?” she asked, the question solely addressed to her mother and Kane. She had feared that the council would not just accept Lexa’s terms to join the coalition. But she was hyperaware of the fact that joining the coalition was the only thing that would grant them at least a little security and stability. She had by now heard enough about the clans of the Kongeda to know that even contemplating to face them in a war was idiotic at best, they stood absolutely no chance against the joined clans.

Clarke thought she briefly was able to spot a flash of amusement dancing through the commander’s jade coloured eyes before they turned hard again, but she kept her attention on her mother and Kane glaring at them demandingly.

“To join the coalition…” her mother said spitting the word “coalition” venomously “… we need to surrender our guns, **all** of our guns!” The disbelief was clear in her tone and her brown eyes were glittering angrily.

She shortly glanced up at the commander but her face was expressionless as if carved from stone and Clarke had the sinking realization that she would not budge on that requirement. Clarke could even understand the other leader demanding they gave up their weapons. The guns must be the hugest obstacle separating them from the other clans, Lexa would be crazy not to use her superior position to force them to disarm.

“As I have told you, you will need to destroy your guns once the cold season has faded and the snow melted” the commander butted in and Clarke nodded. Letting them keep their guns for the next few months would allow them time to learn to live and hunt without them and to build defences that did not rely on the weapons.

“We will do it” Clarke reassured to the other leader not regarding Kane or her mother. Both of them were now glaring at her.

“Clarke, no” her mother retorted forcefully “After what happened to our people here, we…”

Clarke did not let her mother finish. Although she had not been aware of what the rites of redemption actually were Lincoln had told them it would be a physical punishment. She knew that Kane and her mother had wanted to demand all of them to be handed back to Skykru, but those who had failed the rites were now on their own and who knew if the others survived the night without aid. “Mom, what would we have done, if a group of their people invaded Arkadia and killed two guards? On the Ark all of them would have been floated”.

It was Kane who actually gave a verbal answer. The anger had drained from his face to be replaced with exhaustion “A shock lashing. We are not as different as it seemed…”


	119. Chapter 119

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 118  
> The rites of redemptions take place. Jasper and three others fail the ritual and will be banished. Bellamy and the other three need to survive the night on their own to complete the ritual. Marie has a severe relapse and Anya stays with her. Lexa holds a meeting with Skykru proclaiming they will need to surrender their guns.

Chapter 119

The meeting was long and tedious for the commander. The Skykru delegation tried to discuss every little detail of her demands trying to find little things she could change to accommodate their needs better.

But Lexa had steeled herself before meeting with Markus Kane and she would not budge on a single thing. It was their choice to either join the coalition or to leave her lands.

“You seem to mistake my rule for a democracy” Lexa intervened in Abby’s argument.

The woman had spent the last minutes listing off reasons why Skykru did not need to pay reparations to Trikru. After she had made it clear that there would be reparations the arguments had switched from having to pay them at all to the scale of the reparations and how long they had time to pay them.

Surprisingly enough Clarke had been the one to sort of mediate between the commander and the representatives of the Skykru council thus far.

Abby’s mouth had closed with an audible snap at the interruption from the commander and her brown eyes blazed angrily, a vein on her temple stood out signifying the woman’s anger.

Lexa was unmoved by the older woman’s anger and met her heated gaze with an unyielding hard glare. Her own patience was slowly running out for the Skykru council. She had not expected the meeting to be easy, but she had also not expected that it turned into this nightmare out of endless and pointless discussions.

“It is simple” the commander said voice firm and leaned forward slightly in her throne “You either accept my turns and become the thirteenth clan. Or you don’t”.

The silence that settled into the room was heavy and tense. Clarke and Kane both looked slightly alarmed to be faced with the decision now outright, without any potential for negotiations.

But before either of them could say anything, Abby’s patience seemed to snap. The woman glared angrily at the commander taking a single step in the direction of the throne and already both Gustus and Ryder had their hands on the hilts of their swords.

“Simple?!” Abby echoed voice almost sarcastic “If you think your rule has anything to do with a democracy, you obviously don’t know the meaning of the word!”

Clarke gulped in a surprised bout of air turning to her mother with utter alarm on her face, while Lexa sat up straight on her throne reaching her full height. The commander glared at the impertinent woman before her setting her jaw angrily. Ryder and Gustus both shortly glanced to her, waiting for an order if they should intervene on her behalf.

“I advise you to mind your tongue” Lexa said voice calm but hinting with a dangerous note “Or I will see that it is removed from your mouth”.

The commander stood from her throne jutting out her chin while she shortly looked at every representative of Skykru “You have an hour to decide. If you have not decided by then, you will be brought out of Polis and have until the next full moon to leave your settlement”.

“Lexa…” Clarke addressed her voice desperate bidding the commander to wait, but Lexa ignored the blonde leader and simply strode through the throne room. She had listened long enough to their pleas and thought she had made it clear that she did not care all that much for their terms.

“Guard the doors until the hour is up” the commander ordered to the guards stationed at the door “They are not to leave this room until a decision is made”.

Lexa thought about going up to her chambers for the hour to check in on Marie, but she knew that Anya would be keeping the girl vigil. Titus had scheduled a training session with the Ice Nation nightblood after the executions, so she judged him to still be occupied with Ontari and she wanted to watch how the younger girl fared for herself.

The guards told her that the flamekeeper had just returned from his training session with Ontari and that the girl had been brought back into the guarded room. Lexa nodded to the young man and left in the direction of the elevator again. She could just talk with the girl again on her own and see if her attitude had already changed slightly or not. The longer the girl was kept here in Polis Lexa expected her reactions to get more honest.

The room where Ontari was kept in was guarded by two guards at all times. At the moment a young woman and judging from her tattoos she was born into the Shallow Valley clan and a man, hair already greying in places from Trikru. Both nodded respectfully to her and the door was pulled open for her immediately.

A healer was tending to a wound on Ontari’s back. Titus had told her how experienced the younger girl already was in combat, but she obviously did not yet match up completely with Titus’ own skill. The healer turned at the sound of the open door and halted in his care for the nightblood.

Lexa simply nodded to him, recognizing the young man as one of the healers’ second of the tower not yet a full-fledged healer in his own right and motioned for him to resume tending to the wound.

Ontari’s frame was tense under the hands of the healer and it was obvious that the girl was highly uncomfortable with having to bare her back to the healer, but Lexa could spot her tense even more after the girl’s dark eyes shortly connected with her own.

Above the dark blood tainting the girl’s pale skin the commander could see deep scars running all over the younger girl’s back. Marie had told her about the scars assuming that they stemmed from a whip and Lexa internally agreed with their young charge. It was obvious Ontari’s upbringing had been less than gentle and she felt a flash of sympathy for the younger nightblood. She herself had been punished a few times with a lashing but Titus who had administered the punishment had been careful not to leave scars on her body. So Lexa knew how severely and probably repeatedly the girl must have been subjected to this form of punishment to leave scars this deep on her back. She would need to instil into Titus that using physical punishments on the girl would be unacceptable, if she had survived and endured them already she doubted they would show any effect on Ontari now.

She waited patiently and silently for the healer to finish in his task and watched impassively how he wound a bandage tightly around Ontari’s back; after another silent nod the healer left them.

Ontari had immediately turned around once the healer’s hands had left her body unwilling to sit with her back to the commander. It was obvious to Lexa that the younger nightblood still expected her to simply kill her and be done with her.

Trying to lessen the distance and obvious distrust between them Lexa sat down on the far edge of the small bed, the startled expression flitting over Ontari’s features were proof enough that the younger girl recognized the move for the show of trust it had been.

“What is your opinion on Skykru joining the coalition?” Lexa addressed the girl in an even tone and open and curious expression.

Ontari blinked at her for a moment clearly surprised by the question. But Lexa had discussed the same thing already with the other novitiates and she thought it important to try to treat Ontari at least as equal to the others as possible.

Silence settled between them for long moments and Ontari seemed to think hard about how to answer the question, dark eyes almost insecure.

“There is no right or wrong answer, Ontari” Lexa said after a few moments in a calm tone. “This is not a test” she added reassuringly “You will see that I discuss political decisions with the novitiates”.

“You do?” Ontari asked back in a surprised tone. The commander doubted that Nia would heed advice from an advisor; she knew for a fact from the few spies that had infiltrated Ice Nation that Nia had killed almost all of her advisors, keeping only a few for appearance sake. She nodded to the younger girl’s question.

“Why?” Ontari continued to question her, still not answering the commander’s original question.

Lexa regarded the other nightblood calmly for a moment before she answered “Everyone has a unique way of perception. You might think of something my mind has not come across yet. And how should I expect the novitiates to learn if I do not know the way the make decisions”.

Ontari searched the commander’s face for a few more silent moments before she started to speak again, voice still cautious as she finally answered the original question “Skykru are alien, their tech makes them dangerous”.

It was obvious the girl seemed to await some form of repercussion for speaking her mind like that, but Lexa simply nodded “True. But they do not necessarily have to remain dangerous”.

“So you let them join the coalition?” the nightblood asked with a furrowed brow, the doubt on her face was apparent without any need for words. It was clear if she was in the commander’s place she would have decided to annihilate Skykru without further question.

“The choice is theirs” Lexa answered evenly “They will either accept my terms or leave the Kongeda’s lands”.

The girl’s brows remained furrowed as she thought that over internally. “Why not just kill them all?” she questioned after another silent moment.

“What would I gain from killing them now?” Lexa retorted crossing her legs over each other sitting more comfortably. Ontari did not seem to contemplate actually attacking her at the moment.

“Mmh” the girl grunted noncommittally “They could attack you instead”.

“They could” Lexa agreed “But although an open war against Skykru is bound to cause heavy losses, their clan is small. Too small to hold their own against the armies of the Kongeda. They know that”.

“But still, why let them live?” Ontari asked after she nodded with a contemplative expression.

Lexa was aware of the duality of the question. The girl was probably still wondering why she had not ordered her execution and took the risk in letting her live, so she contemplated her words carefully before she answered.

“The same things that make Skykru dangerous also might make them valuable” Lexa started to explain “While it is true that they might use their tech against us, they could also become a valuable ally. Their medical treatments are highly superior to ours, their tech offers things we have long lost after the old world ended. And I do believe that they deserve a chance to show their worth”.

The last part was specifically aimed at the duality of the question and the realization flashing through Ontari’s dark eyes showed that the younger nightblood had also noted that. Ontari nodded before she thought of something else “Why have you not questioned me on my que…” the girl interrupted her question for a moment doubt flitting over her features before she adapted the wording of the question. “Why have you not questioned me on Nia’s plans yet?” it was obviously something Ontari must have wondered about a lot.

Lexa regarded the girl with an insistent gaze for a moment “Would I have been able to trust any of your words?”

“Mmh” Ontari grunted again averting her gaze for a moment before she looked back at the commander’s face admitting “Probably not” in a doubting tone. It was apparent to Lexa that the younger nightblood must have started to question the Ice queen already.

“The Skykru your people rescued from Azgeda…” Ontari let her words trail off with an indecisive expression on her features.

“What about them?” Lexa asked simply waiting for the girl to make up her mind. It seemed the girl had additional information and was debating with herself whether to give them up or not.

After a few moments of both of them silently staring at the other Ontari started to speak again “… they were not the only ones”.

“There are more Skykru within Ice Nation?” Lexa questioned to make sure she understood correctly.

Ontari nodded after a moment of hesitation “There are some left within the ruin of their ship that crashed onto our land. They were given to one of the generals”.

Lexa felt the girl’s dark eyes intently focused on her own features and the commander nodded. She was aware that Ontari had no real reason yet to share any information willingly with her but on the other hand she could not think of a way the girl could profit from giving her false information like this as well.

“You know that this gives me more reason to call Nia to Polis to answer in front of the ambassadors?” Lexa checked after a moment.

The dark haired girl nodded and Lexa thought to spot a flash of thirst for revenge in her dark eyes before they were schooled into blankness again. The commander did not know if the girl wished for revenge against herself for crossing her plans or if a small part of her might even wish to see the Ice queen dead for all she must have endured under her. “But she won’t come until she has another plan to see you dethroned” Ontari interrupted her thoughts by speaking up again.

Lexa nodded with a contemplative expression; she was aware that Nia was anything but stupid and she would do well not to underestimate the older woman. She had no idea why she was so fixed on seeing her removed from the throne of the commander in the first place but she guessed that she would discover the reasoning when they faced each other again.

“How did you punish your second?” Ontari asked voice once again insecure and her eyes clearly showed hesitation fearing that she might have overstepped with her question.

“Punished her what exactly?” Lexa reflected the question back. She thought that understanding how the younger girl thought would certainly help in judging her character and reactions later on. The fact that she surely would someday face Nia again pulled to the front of her mind; when this event came to pass she needed to know if Ontari would not take the first chance to betray her and to return to her queen’s side.

“For not killing me, for trying to heal me, for returning when she had the chance to run” Ontari listed off with a frown; the fact that Marie had chosen to help her was obviously still hard to understand for her.

“Marie has not been punished for any of those” the commander answered calmly “In a way she followed my orders by choosing not to kill you and to heal you. As the commander’s second it is her duty to guard all sacred nightbloods. Regarding the fact that she returned to you, Marie is still too inexperienced in this world to survive a night on her own in a snow storm, so this decision might as well have saved her own life. The only thing that would be punishable was leaving the protection of the tower against the strict orders not to do so”.

Ontari seemed to take a rather long time to think this information through and Lexa mutely watched the varying emotions flitting over her features. Although it was clear that someone must have already tried to instil in the younger nightblood that showing your emotions openly on your face was a source of weakness, it was also obvious that Ontari still needed to completely master this skill as Lexa could spot cracks in her façade showing through every few moments. It was obvious as well that Ontari did not agree wholeheartedly to her views.

“Where do you disagree?” Lexa questioned curiously after having given Ontari sufficient time to think.

Ontari took another moment before she finally answered brows still furrowed “I doubt Nia would have been this…” the girl paused obviously searching for the correct word “…lenient” she finally settled on.

“I do not think you can be compared fairly to Marie, nor can I be compared to queen Nia” the commander commented thoughtfully. Internally Lexa thought about how Anya would have probably reacted had she done something similar in her own youth, but she was convinced her general would not have reacted drastically different.

“No, I don’t think the comparison would be fair on either account” Ontari retorted and Lexa stood from the bed; she had spent longer with the nightblood than she had planned and the hour she had given to make their final decision Skykru had long passed.

“I…” Ontari speaking up once again halted the commander’s retreat and she turned around slightly tilting her face into her direction to glance back at the younger nightblood “…hope she gets better soon”. Ontari had seen how the commander’s second’s condition had worsened during the execution.

Lexa nodded mutely at Ontari before she strode from the small room. On her way back to the throne room her thoughts kept on circling around the younger nightblood. She did not know yet how much they could trust her words but her concern for Marie had seemed honest. She thought the girl had obviously started to contemplate the differences between herself and Nia; only time would tell to which conclusion Ontari had come.

 

The guard still stood their post in front of the doors to the throne room as she neared the doors through the corridors, her boots loudly foretelling her arrival.

She strode into the opened doors without a single beat of hesitation. All heads of the representatives of Skykru turned in her direction immediately. The commander noted on the relive flitting over their expressions at her arrival. The extra wait had probably made them assume she had changed her mind and that they had lost their invitation into the coalition.

Lexa turned around in front of her throne sinking down onto the throne in one fluid graceful motion. Ryder and Gustus both seemed rather relieved to see her return as well, she doubted they would have enjoyed the long-time having to stand still listening to Skykru discussing back and forth.

The Skykru representatives seemed to wait for her to speak first, but Lexa let them stew a moment longer before she asked “What is your answer, Markus of the Sky people?”

“We would be honoured to join the coalition, commander” Markus answered inclining his head respectfully; Abby still looked slightly critical but it was obvious that the others had make her see reason.

The words did not surprise her, but she still exhaled a long breath of her own relief; she still did not want to go into war against Skykru. The commander nodded her head “You will receive the brand of the coalition tomorrow. Now we can talk about the specifics”.


	120. Chapter 120

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 119  
> Lexa speaks with the Skykru delegation and they finally accept to join the coalition, she also speaks with Ontari again.

Chapter 120

Lexa dismissed the Skykru representatives after she had explained all of the specific requirements to them and how the initiation as the thirteenth clan would occur later. Clarke lingered behind and motioned for her mother to go when the woman seemed intent to wait up on her.

The commander inclined her head waiting for the blonde woman to say what was on her mind. The rest of the meeting had gone over rather well. The Skykru representatives seemed to finally have understood that she was still in the superior position and that they depended on her good grace. It was obvious that giving up their weapons was still a hard blow to them, but they would need to adapt to surviving without them. Markus had recognized that paying reparations in the form of tech and medicine might open trade with the other clans later on, once the clans had become acquainted with what they could offer.

“Thank you” Clarke said nodding to Lexa with an honest expression her blue eyes expressive in their gratitude.

The commander furrowed her brow and stood from her throne. The thanks from Clarke had taken her off guard completely and she motioned to the other woman to join her on the balcony. Lexa welcomed the icy breeze on her face once she stepped outside calming her racing thoughts. The shine in Clarke’s eyes had unsettled her somehow.

“I had not expected you to support me like you have done against your people” the commander said placing her gloved hands on the railing of the balcony. She had expected the blonde leader to try to get the best consequences solely for the benefit of Skykru but she had either misinterpreted Clarke’s intentions or the girl had started to truly understand the new culture surrounding them.

Clarke visibly shivered exposed to the ice cold air; the air in the throne room had been heated not just by fire and the fresh air felt almost like a shock to her system. “It was …” Clarke started but halted after a moment averting her gaze from the commander’s piercing eyes. After an audible sigh she said “You are right, my people cannot expect to get better treatment than how you deal with the other clans. But I still fear it will take time for the council to adapt to having someone placed above them with even more power”.

Lexa lightly shook her head “I am not interested in ruling every little aspect of Skykru’s live. The clans govern themselves mostly, we do share common laws though. As long as there are no problems with the other clans or I will need to call on the clans for a war, there is not much that will change for them. Skykru will still need to leave an ambassador of their own in the capitol to sit in on meetings with the other ambassadors.”

Clarke nodded again and looked out over the city below them; it still fascinated her how the grounders had rebuilt their world and started to flourish even through the constant wars they had fought. The blonde girl gritted her teeth thinking of something “My mother wants me to return with them” the unwillingness to follow that order was clear on her face.

Lexa waited for a moment unsure of what the other girl was expecting her to say, but when Clarke’s blue eyes returned to hers the anger vanished from them replaced a clear plea; so the commander reassured “You are welcome to stay in Polis as long as you wish”.

Relieve seemed to flash over Clarke’s features and she nodded with a small smile pulling at her lips. After a moment of silence an almost playful expression surfaced on the blonde’s face “I would have never thought to stand here now” she said.

Lexa raised a brow questioningly at the other woman unsure of what she was hinting at. She had turned slightly leaning her hip against the railing and looking now fully at Clarke.

A slight blush appeared on Clarke’s pale cheeks and there was a hitch to her voice “I meant standing here with you”.

Lexa blinked once at her and averted her eyes back over the city below them; she was still searching for a fitting answer when Clarke shifted beside her.

When Lexa turned back to face the other woman Clarke’s features had lost their playfulness and turned serious once again. “I know that I lashed out unfairly against you” the blonde admitted and it was obvious on her face that she had thought long and hard about what she wanted to say before now. Her voice was grave and her eyes seemed distant and Lexa could see a deep shiver run through Clarke’s frame as she remembered something. “You did not force me to push the lever in the Mountain” she added with a heavy sigh “And you are right, I would have taken the deal as well and I did betray the allies we had in the Mountain”. It was apparent how heavy the guilt still rested on the other leader’s shoulders. Her pale face seemed to have lost even the last ounce of colour and her blue eyes looked rather empty and haunted.

The commander watched her turmoil for long silent moments unsure of how to best proceed. Their last interactions had shown her how easy the mood between them could shift again if one wrong word was uttered. After another moment Lexa let the compassion she felt for the blonde show in her green eyes, dropping her façade slightly in front of her and her voice was soft and reassuring as she said “I understand”.

Even though it were two simple words Clarke did look at her with a silent understanding passing between them. “Thank you, commander” Clarke retorted her lips ghosting into a smile again before the blonde turned around and left, probably to seek out her mother.

Lexa remained on the balcony for longer moments staring behind the blonde lost in her thoughts. She would gladly offer Clarke the understanding and support her own people seemed unable to offer to her. The next days would surely show if they would be able to at least get along civilly from now on.

Titus came into the throne room a few moments later calling her back inside. When Lexa strode back into the room her expression was schooled once again and were free of all emotion. “Flamekeeper” she greeted her former teacher with an incline of her head “What of the prisoners?”

The bald man’s expression hard to decipher at the moment but Lexa thought he did not look pleased with the outcome of the rites. “The girl and one boy are feverish, the other two are enduring their fate”.

Lexa nodded; it was common after such a rite of redemption for someone who had succeeded in the lashing to still develop an infection and succumb to that. But she knew that the Skykru medicine might still save them later, so she pushed the prisoners from her mind asking Titus instead when the ambassadors were expected to assemble to meet with her. The impending meeting had obviously been the reason Titus had searched her out and the ambassadors were only waiting for his signal to be allowed entry into the throne room.

She turned and sat down on her throne crossing her legs over each other casually and sat up straight, before she nodded to Titus motioning him to call the ambassadors in. Internally Lexa was steeling herself for another long and tedious meeting.

In the meantime Anya still sat beside the commander’s bed keeping watch over Marie. Judging from the position of the sun it was nearing midday already and Marie still had not shown any outward change in her condition. Worried slightly Anya put aside the book she had been reading and gently put a hand on the girl’s forehead. The girl’s skin had cooled down considerably and Anya found it normal to the touch again, but a layer of cold sweat clung to the girl’s pale complexion and the black war paint had become heavily smudged because of it.

Marie stirred under the gentle touch and a moment later her grey eyes blinked open again. The girl’s eyes were confused as she could not clearly remember how she had even gotten into the bed. “What happened?” Marie asked groggily with a husky voice and scratchy throat “Are the executions already over?”

She tried to make sense of what had happened and she thought to remember placing her own cuts but she was not really sure either. It was all a mystified haze in her mind and she scrunched up her brow in thought and when she felt an uncomfortable pressure in her arm, Marie looked down and spotted the cannula.

Anya pulled the girl’s fingers from her arm trying to pull out the cannula still connecting her to a weird plastic bag. “Do not pull it out” the woman said strictly; Clarke had described to her that the plastic bag contained things to help Marie feel better faster and keep the fever under control.

Marie nodded but turned her grey eyes questioningly on the woman sitting beneath her.

“The executions are over, yes” Anya answered her previous questions “And your fever spiked up again. Clarke brought something to help you”.

“Where is Lexa?” Marie asked next after glancing around the room and not spotting the other woman anywhere.

“Probably still in a meeting with Skykru” Anya retorted and stood up to retrieve a bowl of water and a wash cloth for Marie to at least be able to wash her face and clear it off the black pigment.

When she returned from the bathroom Marie had sat up on the bed and Risha had crawled on top of the girl’s legs and she was scratching the wolf behind its ears making it emit a purring sound of contentment. 

Anya put the bowl with water on a table beside the bed and wetter a cloth, wringing it off the excess water and beckoned the girl closer. “Close your eyes” she ordered in a calm tone and waited for Marie to comply before starting to remove the black pigment from her charge’s features.

“Will Skykru enter the coalition?” Marie wanted to know next forcing Anya to stop washing her face momentarily. Her voice still sounded husky so Anya pushed a cup with tea into her fingers almost forcefully, judging from the talkativeness of the girl she truly felt much better and the medication from Skykru had kicked in fast.

“I do not know yet, Marie” she answered calmly and lightly glared at the girl when she made to open her mouth again. Marie looked up at her with a sheepish expression and closed her eyes again waiting patiently for Anya to finish. The water had turned a greyish colour in the bowl once the girl’s skin was cleaned off all of the pigment.

“What happens now?” the girl immediately chirped up when Anya put the cloth to the side.

The woman narrowed her eyes slightly at the obviously recovered child, wondering how the medication could have worked this fast already; all traces of the fever were gone from Marie’s face and although the girl’s complexion was still pale she did look a lot better. “That depends on Skykru’s decision” Anya finally answered after a moment of letting Marie wait “If they decline, we will be at war. If they agree, the initiation of the thirteenth clan will take place tomorrow”.

“Why not today still?” Marie questioned with a furrowed brow.

“Until the prisoners have been released it would be as if to start the initiation in an unfavourable grace” Anya answered and when Marie immediately opened her mouth to ask more she silenced her with a quick raise of her hand. “I am sure you should try to sleep a bit and rest more” her tone was strict and unyielding. The woman found it suspicious just how quickly Marie had suddenly recovered after the injection and wanted to keep her calm and rested for longer, at least until Clarke returned and could tell her that the girl was alright again.

Marie scrunched up her brow and lightly scowled at the woman, clearly absolutely unimpressed with her suggestion. “But I am not tired” the girl insisted “Like, not at all tired” she added immediately when Anya raised a critical brow at her charge.

“You are still staying inside this bed” Anya retorted in a decisive tone and her eyes were strict.

“But…” Marie started to counter grey eyes pleading with her mentor.

“No” Anya said calmly “You are not getting out of bed, at least not until Clarke has taken that out”. She motioned to the cannula in Marie’s arm and outright ignored the pout on the girl’s features. The general picked up the book from the table next to the bed and handed it over to Marie together with a sheet of paper and something to write. “Practise then” she ordered with a pointed look and was relieved when Marie obediently took the things and pulled her knees up to her chest, placing the book on her legs and immediately started to practise. Anya waited a few moments to see if the girl would start to speak again, but when Marie remained silent for some minutes she picked up her own book again and resumed reading quietly.

Anya already heard the commander’s approach by the clicking sounds of her heavy boots against the floor in the corridor long before the doors were pulled open for her and put down her book, slightly turning around to face the other woman and trying to decipher her expression.

Marie looked up from her book with a startled expression when Lexa unbuckled her shoulder guard and let it drop onto a stool with a rather loud bang. A soft smile played at her lips when she recognized the commander and the girl closed the book on her lap looking at the leader expectedly.

Before Lexa could say anything Alira entered the room behind her carrying a tray with food into the chamber and placing it on the table in front of the couches. The older handmaid also had a set of clean bandages with her to look after the gash on Lexa’s side.

The woman mutely helped the commander in quickly undressing out of the armour she had worn and changed the bandage around her upper body with practised fingers. The wound did not look infected but it would remain covered for a few more days to rule an insetting infection out.

Anya watched Lexa submitting to Alira’s treatment in silence noting on the exhaustion that was apparent on the young leader’s face. But her jaw was not locked tightly and there was no frown on her features, so the general gathered that the meetings must have gone over well and that the commander was satisfied with the outcome.

Lexa put on only a shirt after Alira had finished and dismissed the handmaiden again with a silent nod. Alira took the cloth and the bowl with the used water with her before she left. When the commander turned facing both of them her expression was calm beneath the war paint. A flash of relieve showed in her green eyes at seeing their charge obviously improved considerably already, but her eyes remained on her former mentor.

“Skykru will join the coalition” Lexa proclaimed to her general and Anya nodded with an audible sigh. Skykru joining the coalition could truly help all of them to prosper later, but Anya was also aware that it might still be only a question of time before a new conflict between Skykru and the other clans developed.

“So there won’t be a war?” Marie chirped in curiously her grey eyes shining.

Lexa nodded “There won’t be war between Skykru and the Kongeda”.

“I am glad” the girl commented with an honest smile, before it dimmed slightly “Many warriors would have died facing guns”.

Both Anya and Lexa looked a little surprised at their charge’s obvious compassion for the people born on the ground. The girl must have truly started to see herself as a part of them to feel this way. But while Anya had a smile tugging at her lips, Lexa looked at the girl with an unreadable expression on her face.

“And they accepted all the conditions?” the general questioned with a suspicious frown. Lexa had discussed beforehand with her what she would ask of Skykru and she had been convinced they would not accept like that.

Lexa looked down at the older woman with a slight glare on her face, her green eyes gleaming as they were still accentuated by her war paint. “Of course they did” she deadpanned obviously slightly offended at the question. In a tired gesture Lexa rubbed around her eyes, grimacing when she remembered the black pigment smudged around her eyes. With quick strides the commander vanished into the bathroom.

Marie’s face was scrunched up slightly, looking behind Lexa with a frown of her own. “Is Lexa angry with me?” the girl asked addressing Anya in a small voice, face showing the uneasiness she felt.

Anya regarded their charge for a moment with a contemplative expression. She had already heard that the sounds of Lexa washing up had faded, so she knew that the younger woman stood waiting to return into the room and probably already heard the girl’s question.

“No” she tried to reassure their charge, but something in her face must have belied her answer and Marie frowned at her.

“Why is she angry at me?” the girl rephrased her question, grey eyes worried and tinted with sadness. She could not remember what she might have done to upset the leader.

Anya sighed, highly uncomfortable with the whole situation. For a quick moment she contemplated calling Lexa out of the bathroom, so that she could deal with it herself, but she disregarded the idea again. If Lexa had wanted to speak with the girl, she would not remain within the bathroom now. “She is not angry with you, Marie” she reassured again and when the girl’s scowl deepened and she opened her mouth Anya silenced her “She is not!” she said more forcefully.

“Lexa has heard you telling me…” Anya stopped for a moment and took a deep breath “…that you love me”.

Marie furrowed her brow and slightly cocked her head to the side in confusion “So?” she asked and when Anya did not answer immediately, her face flashed with worry “Am I not allowed to say that? Is that wrong?”

Anya quickly shook her head, searching for words for a moment; she had never been required to talk about feelings like this. “You are allowed to say it, if you wish to, Marie. There is nothing wrong with it” she answered, shooting a fleeting glare at the bathroom, where Lexa still hid herself.

“Did Lexa not tell you, that she loves you?” the girl questioned innocently, her brow still furrowed trying almost desperately to understand.

Anya immediately shook her head with a sigh “No, Marie, she did not”.

Marie blinked at her obviously surprised and her confusion mounting “But you said a first and a second are like family” her tone was almost accusingly now.

“Yes” Anya nodded, unsure how to explain to the girl that the relationship they shared was different from a normal relationship between a mentor and their second.

“But you love your family” the girl said slightly shaking her head. Marie was still thinking hard if she had somehow overstepped and searching for a reason why Anya would not tell her. “Did you not love Lexa and Tris?” Marie asked her grey eyes staring intently at Anya.

“In a way, I suppose I did” Anya relented after a moment of heavy silence “But it is not customary to express it as such”.

Marie furrowed her brow again crossing her arms over chest and winced when she bend the arm with the cannula still in it and her voice had a petulant note to it “So I am not supposed to say it?”

Anya pinched the bridge of her nose in silent annoyance repeating her assurance that the girl was welcome to voice her feelings if she desired to do so.

Marie nodded with a contemplative expression and looked to the bathroom shortly before her gaze rested on Anya’s face again and her grey eyes were insecure again “Am I allowed to say it to Lexa?” For some reason Marie feared that voicing the same sentiment to the commander was off limits, although she was sure of her own feelings.

Anya had a startled look on her face at the unexpected question and she raised a brow at the girl voice cautious “So you wish to say the same to Lexa?” She did not know why she felt a slight surge of uneasiness at the prospect or why she internally questioned the weight of the girl’s words if Marie wanted to voice them to her former second as well.

“I love both of you” the girl retorted easily shrugging her shoulders slightly and intently stared at Anya when she noticed that her expression had closed off slightly.

“If you are both my firsts, I can love both of you the same” Marie tried to reason with her mentor “All three of us are family then after all”. Her grey eyes had a challenging glint to them as she spoke and the conviction in her belief was obvious in her tone.

“I suppose we are” Anya answered vaguely looking at the door to the bathroom again and wondering internally what Lexa was thinking right now.


	121. Chapter 121

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 120  
> Lexa and Clarke talk in private after the meeting with Skykru and the commander meets with the ambassadors. Marie feels better and Anya keeps her company. They have a conversation about the girl’s declaration of love.

Chapter 121

Anya regarded the girl sitting upright in the bed with a contemplative expression. Her grey eyes had been honest when she claimed to love both of them evenly. But the concept of sharing a love like that outside of a family of blood was rather uncommon among their people, so Anya had a rather hard time processing this new concept.

Lexa had went into the bathroom to clear her face off of the war paint and was internally debating on whether to ask Anya to return to her own assigned quarters again with Marie or to let the matter rest. Seeing both of them together sitting at her bed had the jealousy she had felt the previous night return with a full force. The commander did not even understand fully why she was so jealous of something she had been sure not to wish for. But in the privacy of her own thoughts she now had to admit that she obviously in fact did wish for someone to love her in this absolutely pure and honest way. On another hand the prospect of sending both of them from her quarters did leave a foul taste in her mouth and Lexa knew it was nothing she truly desired to do. She had become used to the girl’s presence in her quarters by now and she knew that her chambers would feel awfully quiet and empty now without her.

Her hand hovered above the handle to the door when Marie voiced her question, asking her former mentor why she was angry with their charge. Lexa frowned hidden behind the door still ajar and she let her hand sink from the handle, wanting to hear Anya’s response before she returned to them.

She could almost picture Anya’s unease without actually needing to see her face, the way she spoke conveyed clearly how uncomfortable the woman was having to hold this kind of conversation at all. Lexa could not remember ever having spoken to her former mentor about her own feelings like that.

A frown appeared on her face when Marie asked if she had ever told Anya to love her. She knew she had never voiced such a sentiment, but it had not been expected of her either. Lexa had never felt the need to put a name onto their relationship beside this of a mentor and a second. The young girl sounded absolutely convinced that she in fact did feel love for Anya. She knew she held the woman in a high personal regard, far beyond her loyal general, but was it love that she felt for the older woman?

She was even more surprised when Marie got Anya to agree that the woman had felt some sort of love for both her and Tris. Her former mentor had always taken good care of her, but love had never been a subject between them. Lexa had been sure that Anya would at least be proud of the woman and the leader she had grown up to be, but she had never guessed for something deeper beyond that.

Her green eyes widened slightly when she heard the girl say that she claimed to love both she and Anya equally. Lexa had been sure that their charge would not return the same sentiment to her, but now hearing her expressing that she in fact did wish to do so filled her with an unexpected feeling of warmth. The jealousy which had still simmered in her veins had vanished instantly. In a way the girl was correct, they now shared a familial connection between all three of them. A soft smile tugged at her lips which she was powerless to supress for the moment and she felt strangely giddy.

Lexa took a few deep breaths trying to calm her thoughts and reign in her emotions. She was aware that Anya would have long recognized that she had stayed inside the bathroom with the simple reason as to not have to be part of this conversation.

“Are you hungry?” Anya asked the girl after a moment when Marie still expectedly taxed the door to the bathroom with her grey eyes trying to distract the girl. Marie’s gaze returned to the general’s face immediately and she nodded. It was obvious in the girl’s expression that she still was not convinced of the fact that Lexa truly was not angry with her personally.

Anya smiled gently at the girl and stood from the chair striding over to the table and returned to the bed with food for both of them in her hands.

Marie accepted a plate of food from the woman’s hands and watched with a frown how Anya tried to command Risha from the commander’s bed. But it was obvious the cub was not impressed with the general slightly tilting her head to the side at the unknown command. Anya huffed at the cub and physically pulled her from the bed and setting the animal down beneath the bed all the while repeating the command. Marie giggled slightly at the sight and stifled her giggles with a cough when Anya glared at her with strict eyes.

Lexa chose this moment to return into the room and Anya noted on the softness in the commander’s green eyes. Marie immediately looked up when she heard Lexa’s steps on the floor and her gaze was insecure, obviously still expecting Lexa to be angry and the girl looked down again the very moment their eyes connected. Lexa frowned lightly at the girl’s reaction. She had slightly doubted the girl’s confession to love both of them equally, but her reaction now backed up her previous words.

The commander sat down on the edge of the bed staring at their charge in silence for a moment and shortly glanced over at Anya. The older woman’s discomfort at the conversation she had just had still visible in her features. But she found an understanding in the brown eyes of her former mentor that made her wonder how the blonde girl had managed to have both of them rethink their own connection. Lexa had always been aware that Anya would be loyal beyond her duty as a general to her as the commander but she recognized now that it had always been so much more.

Softly Lexa tilted the girl’s chin up so that their eyes met and said in a gentle tone “I am not angry with you, Marie”.

“You heard?” the girl’s voice was surprised and a blush suddenly covered her pale cheeks.

“Yes, I have” Lexa answered in the affirmative a gentle light in her green eyes amused by the obvious shyness in their charge now.

Marie’s grey eyes suddenly had a defiant spark to them and her voice was firmer again as she said “So, I love you as well” crossing her arms over her chest in a petulant gesture. Her eyes seemed to challenge the commander as if to say “what are you going to do against it?”

Lexa let her hand fall from the girl’s chin and a smile tilted the corners of her mouth up into a bright smile “So do we” she retorted seriously.

Marie’s expression at these words was a comical mixture of surprise and awe. It had not passed Anya’s attention that she had been included in the statement but she was silently thankful for Lexa’s thoughtfulness. “You do?” she echoed voice small and insecure as grey eyes flitted between them intently.

Both of them nodded with honest expressions. Lexa and Anya both would have probably never put a label to their connection like that but it was obvious that the girl for some reason seemed to need exactly that from them.

On a sudden urge Marie sat up in the bed throwing her arms around Lexa’s neck and hugging the commander, as Anya was too far away to do the same. The general watched the thin plastic tube still connected to her arm stretch momentarily but Marie ignored the obvious tug on the cannula. Her grey eyes connected with Anya’s brown ones over Lexa’s shoulders and they were shining in a swirl of emotions.

Lexa tightened her arms once around the girl’s smaller form and then retreated out of her embrace pushing a plate with food into her hands instead.

Anya noted with silent satisfaction that the tension seemed to have drained completely out of Lexa’s face now that the situation between them was settled again as she took up a plate for herself.

“How does an initiation of a clan into the coalition work?” Marie spoke up after a few minutes of companionable silence.

“A representative of the clan will receive the coalition’s branding and they pledge their clan to the coalition, to abide our laws in front of the other ambassadors and they must appoint an ambassador staying behind in the capitol to represent their people” Lexa explained to their charge.

Marie’s brows furrowed “A brand?” her voice was confused. After the commander nodded her affirmation, a frown settled on her young features. “That is a weird way to settle something” the girl said after a moment.

“Why?” Lexa questioned curiously. Taking a brand or a special tattoo had been common practise among their people for a long time.

“You brand cattle” the girl retorted still frowning “Or cattle was branded before, to show ownership”. She had been born into Farm Station, so Marie knew still some concepts of agriculture of the old world.

“How would you register something then?” Anya asked the next question.

Marie blinked at her a few moments before she answered “With a written contract, I guess”.

Lexa nodded “But written words means little in a world, where most of the people are unable to read. A brand, a scar or a tattoo are visible and understandable without further explanation”.

Marie tilted her head slightly, obviously thinking about the woman’s words for a few moments before she nodded “That makes sense” she commented and her tone had lost the slightly judging undercurrent.

Anya put her plate onto the table and stood up shrugging on the warmer coat as she did so. The general had scheduled another training session with her warriors for the afternoon and now that Lexa was back into her chambers and not expected at another meeting until the next morning, she could leave the girl’s bedside. She smiled slightly at Marie and nodded to Lexa before she left the room, taking Risha outside as well as the cub had spent most of the day inside as well.

“Can Clarke take out the cannula?” Marie asked a few moments fiddling with the plastic tube still connected to the IV bag; the thing was starting to annoy her and she wanted it out.

“I will have her summoned here” Lexa promised and stood up, striding through her chambers and tasked a guard to summon the blonde leader to the commander’s quarters as soon as possible.

It took only a few moments until Clarke appeared. Marie had already finished eating and had started to continue reading in the commander’s journal, while Lexa had taken up to write into her own journal.

The commander barely looked up from her journal when she asked “Can you take out the cannula?”

Clarke frowned slightly at the other woman, although Lexa did not see it of course, and strode over to the bed and quickly removed the cannula from Marie’s arm. She disinfected the prick of the needle and took a listen to Marie’s lungs again, being satisfied with the improvements. The girl’s fever had fallen completely again and her grey eyes were clear and alert. If she had not seen the severe effect of the sickness only a few hours ago in the girl with her own eyes, Clarke would not have believed that she had been sick at all.

Lexa had closed her journal when Clarke finished the short examination and silently waited for the other woman’s report on Marie’s condition. Marie gingerly bent her arm, happy to notice the absence of the annoying pressure in her arm where the cannula had been.

“She seem totally fine again” Clarke said her face still contorted into a confused frown and her blue eyes hefted on Marie.

“So she can leave the bed again?” Lexa questioned calling her attention from their charge.

Clarke nodded although her expression still showed that she did not really understand the suddenness of Marie’s recovery.

“Have your people decided on who will function as their ambassador?” the commander questioned the other leader with a serious voice.

Clarke looked away from Marie meeting Lexa’s intense green eyes gaze “I thought that I might do it” she said surprising the other woman with her words.

The commander raised a sceptical brow at the blonde remembering her words not to want to be involved in politics anymore.

Clarke sighed audibly “That would at least give a reason to me staying here”. Her tone made it obvious that she did not really wish to be acting in this position.

Lexa regarded her silently for a moment before she said “You do not need a reason to be here”.

Clarke’s gaze was thankful for a second but it morphed into a sort of frustrated exhaustion “For my mother, I do. And I actually do not know who would be willing to do it otherwise.”

Lexa furrowed her brow. The clan’s usually decided themselves who would represent them so she had never been involved in an appointment of an ambassador, but she doubted taking up the position would be something the blonde woman would enjoy, it was obvious her heart was called to healing others at the moment.

Although Marie had opened the journal of the first commander again it was obvious to Lexa that the girl was following their conversation rather than reading. Having Skykru represented by Wanheda could either be favourable for her or quite the opposite, so as the commander Lexa was not sure having Clarke in that role would be desirable.

“We will only need to name someone tomorrow?” Clarke checked after a moment of silence, brows furrowed in obvious deep contemplation.

The commander nodded “Skykru will receive the ones back who passed their rites of redemption and afterwards the initiation will take place”.

Clarke nodded and when something seemed to cross her mind, her blue eyes flashed angrily and she clenched her jaw and almost seethed “When will I be required to kneel to you, commander?”

Her title had a mocking note to it and all inclination to let the matter rest left Lexa’s mind, she had contemplated not actually calling Clarke back on that, but now she steeled her eyes and stared the younger woman down with unyielding eyes. Something about Clarke’s attitude sat her on edge and her voice was hard as she said “Before Skykru receives the brand”.

Marie blinked at the commander with a furrowed brow. She did not understand why both of them were suddenly acting so strangely around each other. She knew that Clarke seemed still slightly angry about Lexa’s decision to call the army to surrender at the Mountain, but this conflict seemed to run deeper between them and was probably more on a personal level.

They were both staring at each other with angrily blazing eyes and the tension was almost palpable between them.

Clarke jerked her head in a sudden nod, grinding her teeth together forcefully. The blonde kept the words in check she had wanted to hurl at the other woman and just left the commander’s chambers without another word in a huff.

Marie blinked behind Clarke’s retreating form until the doors were pulled closed behind her and her heavy footfalls slowly faded through the corridor. Lexa was breathing rather heavily, trying to calm the sudden rage she felt. Marie shortly contemplated asking Lexa what this was really about, but the commander strode through the room and went into the bathroom, pushing the door closed forcefully with a resonating clang. She would try to ask Anya later what was wrong between Lexa and Clarke. Silently she resumed reading the journal and lost herself in the pages quickly.

Marie was startled sometime later when Anya returned into the commander’s quarters, glancing to the window of the room she frowned, it was already starting to turn dark outside and she had not noticed how the time had passed. Risha followed on the general’s heels and immediately jumped up on the bed, snuggling up to her human.

Marie squealed shrilly at the feeling, the cub’s fur was totally soaked through. “Uuuhhh, Risha, get down!” she screeched loudly and pushed the wolf in the direction of the floor. The wolf’s ice blue eyes taxed her for a second almost as if the animal was trying to decipher her words. “You are wet” she complained to the cub bending over to give her another gentle shove.

Anya watched the scene with thinned lips and annoyance clear on her face. The wolf cub had accompanied her to the training fields and warriors had freed some of the space from the snow, shovelling it to piles on the side. Risha had taken to jumping directly into them, getting soaked completely in the process. As she made to stride over to the bed and forcefully remove the wet animal from the bed, Risha followed Marie’s prompting and jumped down from the bed.

The wolf seemed to almost be sulking and left the bed with a raised head and not a single glance back. Risha padded over to the fire place and lied down there curled up in a ball.

Lexa sat cross legged at the end of the bed obviously still deep in mediation and her breathing was still even and eyes closed. Marie had no idea when she had returned from the bathroom or how long Anya might have been gone.

When Marie spotted blood on Anya’s armour she asked worriedly “Are you hurt?”

Anya turned to their charge who had sat up in the bed and was looking at her with compassionate eyes and she shook her head in reassurance “It is not mine, Marie”.

Although the girl nodded her eyes did not leave the general’s form as she stripped out of her armour and back into more comfortable clothes. “What has Clarke said?” Anya asked when she was finished and stepped over to Marie and noticed the absence of the cannula from her arm.

“I am fine again” Marie proclaimed with a smile, obviously relieved at the prospect to be allowed out of bed again “I don’t have to stay in the bed longer, I can resume training” her voice was enthusiastic at the last part.

Lexa had just opened her eyes when Marie and Anya had started talking and disturbed her concentration. “And you will” she commented, standing up from the floor “You will have lost almost all stamina again”.

Marie’s enthusiasm was obviously dampened by that declaration and she nodded with a slight sulk on her features.

“You will improve soon enough” Anya assured also she internally was less than pleased at the situation as well, but being annoyed by it would not help the girl to improve faster.

“What does an ambassador need?” Marie asked changing the topic rapidly.

“Need?” Anya echoed with a furrowed brow, unsure what the girl actually wanted to know right now.

“Yeah, what does an ambassador need to be like?” the girl elaborated quickly.

“You mean the Skykru ambassador?” Lexa checked, guessing what Marie was thinking about. At their charges quick nod, Lexa explained “It is the decision of Skykru who will represent them. But it should be someone who is at least willing to accept our culture. Someone for example with Pike’s mind-set would do more harm than good.”

Marie nodded with a contemplative expression “So someone not hot-headed?”

The commander nodded in affirmation.

“Monty might do it” Marie suddenly suggested and both Lexa and Anya looked at her in silent question. Anya thought that the name rang a bell in her mind, but she was unable to bring forth a face at the moment.

“He is not hot-headed and he was rather open still to our culture” Marie reasoned and both of them noted on the usage of the word “our” in the girl’s sentence, confirming their charge’s feeling of belonging to them once again.

“You met him already” Marie addressed Anya and reminded her of the rescue of the Farm Station survivors and how Monty had asked after her at the fire in the temporary camp when she had been upset. “He is compassionate” she finished her reasoning.

Lexa had listened intently to the girl’s list of arguments and nodded “It is still Skykru’s choice who will remain in the capitol, but I will suggest him for the position than”

Marie smiled happily at the woman, being glad to contribute something which might be slightly helpful at least.


	122. Chapter 122

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 121  
> Lexa reassures Marie that both she and Anya love her as well. The commander shortly speaks with Clarke and Marie suggests Monty as a possible ambassador for Skykru.

Chapter 122

The night went over peacefully and Marie slept better than she had in weeks, cuddled up to Lexa almost the whole night. Marie was awoken before dawn when Lexa slipped out of the bed beside her. She stretched leisurely under the furs content to remain under their comfortable warmth for another moment.

But Anya also left the bed on the other side. The general remained standing beside the bed for a moment “How do you feel?” she inquired and bent over the girl’s form gently placing a hand on forehead to check her temperature.

“Good” Marie answered easily and sat up aware that she would probably now be required to accompany the commander and Anya to the meeting with Skykru. That was the first thing scheduled for the morning, for Skykru to receive their prisoners back. “Will they all survive?” Marie asked in a voice that clearly said that she was slightly afraid of the honest answer.

“You mean the ones who passed the rites?” Anya checked and offered a hand to Marie to pull her from the bed. When the girl nodded in the affirmative she explained “With Skykru medicine I am sure, they will make it. With our healers it always varies.”

Lexa returned from the bathroom a few moments later with her hair down, falling around her back in soft waves. The commander nodded to Anya and softly smiled at Marie in greeting and waited for Alira to arrive with their breakfast. Anya sent Marie into the bathroom in the meantime to wash herself for the day and Marie was pleased not to feel any dizziness at all when she stood from the bed.

After they had consumed a quick breakfast, during which Alira had first done Lexa’s hair and afterwards wound Marie’s hair into intricate braids together with a few pieces of red cloth, Marie followed the commander and Anya to the throne room. The Skykru delegation was already waiting for their arrival. Marie also spotted Indra, Lincoln and Octavia in the back of the room. Octavia had probably insisted to be there to immediately see her brother.

The atmosphere was rather tense and it was obvious that the members of Skykru were on edge. Clarke had joined her people and her blue eyes still sparked almost defiantly at the commander when their eyes met.

“Blood has answered blood, like it is due to and with the recipience of your people, we lay our discrepancies to rest” the commander addressed the Skykru delegation in a calm tone and she nodded to Markus in particular, regarding him now already as the leader of Skykru. The man had a rather forced looking smile on his face, but his eyes were still honest in their kindness as he inclined his head in silent thanks.

Guards were sent into the dungeons to retrieve the prisoners who would now be released back to their people.  The wait for the guards to return was tense as well and every one of the Skykru representatives seemed to strain their hearing for the first footfalls from the corridor.

Marie stood patiently next to Anya and mutely scrutinized the other Skykru. They all seemed to be wearing a mixture of their own clothing from the Ark and a few fur lined pieces donated to them by the commander; the Ark’s population never had a need for winter clothes before and had been ill prepared for the cold season, now heavily relying on the aid given to them by Trikru.

When the sounds of footsteps finally did reach their ears the representatives of Skykru all seemed to hold their breath in anticipation. The commander sat on her throne totally relaxed in stark contrast, flanked by Gustus and Ryder. Marie had no idea what condition to expect the others to be in, she had never before witnessed a lashing and could not estimate how hard the effects would be on a body.

All four of the prisoners had to be braced by the guards and seemed to have great difficulties to walk at all, their faces contorted into grimaces of obvious pain. Zoe Monroe and the young man with dark hair and blue eyes were quiet obviously feverish, their skin pale and shimmering with a cold sweat. Abby sucked in an audible gasp at their conditions and did not wait for the commander to say anything else before she rushed over to Zoe Monroe.

Lexa subtly shook her head at the guards who were clearly uneasy with Abby’s impatient behaviour, letting it pass for now. She had even expected more problems with having them wait for a day to receive their people back, but either they had not tried to get to them or Skykru had started to understand that her word was to be obeyed in her lands if they did not wish to suffer the consequences. She had also expected some kind of disagreement over those that would be banned from the lands of the Kongeda and the commander was slightly surprised that they had not tried to convince her to change her verdict.

The commander shortly looked at all of the four culprits before she addressed them directly “You have lived through the rite of redemption and are now cleared of your sins, let this be a lesson to all of you”. She inclined her head to Markus and the man seemed to understand this as a sign that they were free to leave now. He quickly thanked her and the Skykru representatives all took over their four wounded people from the guards who stepped back to give them place.

Skykru’s initiation as the thirteenth clan would take place later in the day, giving them enough time to take care of their wounded and get ready for the ceremony, which would be closed with a small banquet.

Lexa had scheduled to meet with the novitiates in the meantime. Marie would accompany Anya to the training fields where the general had another training session with a few members of the commander’s private unit. Marie would have personally preferred to see the nightblood children with Lexa but Anya had planned to start at least a light training with their charge as well.

Marie followed Anya through the tower obediently looking out through the windows she could spot. It had stopped snowing a few days ago but there was still a lot of snow outside as far as she could tell. They had shortly returned to their quarters to collect Risha, so that the cub could get outside as well for some time and were now outside on the way through the streets to the training pits.

Marie watched with a smile on her features how Risha seemed to search for the snow piles next to the streets, which had by now been mostly cleared of the snow, and enthusiastically jumped into the snow, disappearing beneath the white layer momentarily only to jump out a moment later. It was obvious the small animal was having a blast and Marie giggled lowly at the sight.

Anya watched the small animal’s antics with thinned lips; Risha’s fur was already covered in small lumps of snow. She quickly guided their charge to the training pits and they could already hear the clash of steel against each other from others already training in combat.

Marie did not recognize anyone of the warriors who were already on the training pits. They all seemed to pause slightly when they saw Anya approaching and nodded to her respectfully, but Marie still noticed how their eyes rested on herself for a moment before Anya motioned to them to resume their training.

Marie grimaced lightly when Anya commanded her to make a few rounds around the pits to warm up her muscles. After only a rather short amount of time she was totally out of breath already and Anya called her to a stop immediately when she started to cough again forcefully.

The general watched Marie gathering her breath with a worried frown, question their decision to start the girl’s training internally. Her frown deepened when she spotted Titus approaching the training pits with Ontari in tow. It was uncommon for a nightblood to be trained in the normal training pits, their training usually taking place in more secluded areas, diminishing the chances of assassination attempts at least slightly.

The dark haired girl was obviously rather displeased as well judging by her petulant expression. Marie had stepped up to Anya breathing heavily and waiting for it to calm slightly again and also spotted Titus with Ontari.

The bald man shortly nodded to Anya and immediately took up two weapons, throwing one at Ontari. The girl barely managed to catch it before it could smack her in the face.

Anya ordered Marie to remain at the side line with Risha. The general would be engaging in a training combat fight with a female warrior who had introduced herself as Echo. The woman had bright brown eyes and brown hair with lighter strands braided away from her face.

Marie watched Anya circle around Echo for a moment before they started fighting. It was clear quickly that Echo was a very well versed fighter as well and Marie was not sure if they might not have the same level of skills.

Her attention was called from watching Anya to observing Titus with Ontari every few minutes. The bald flamekeeper was engaged in combat with the girl and it was obvious he did not go easy on her even for a second. She could spot various places on the other girl’s brown armour already shining with dark blood and she winced in sympathy when Titus brought her on her back with a hit to her throat.

While Titus drank something and caught his breath, the man had Ontari continue training with another warrior, not giving the girl a single moment of rest. Marie watched the proceedings with a frown, sweat was dripping from Ontari’s face and her features were drawn in obvious exertion.

Anya noticed with an angry glint in her brown eyes that Marie had stopped watching her sparring match altogether. She stepped up to the girl and snapped her fingers in front of the girl’s face startling her strongly in the process. Marie looked up at Anya guiltily for a moment but her eyes were still drawn back around Anya to Ontari.

“Is he trying to have her killed?” the girl asked worry tinting her voice. Anya frowned at the girl’s obvious compassion for the Azgeda nightblood but she frowned slightly when she also turned and glanced at Ontari. It was obvious the girl was only keeping on fighting through pure will power now, probably on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion. Echo had only shortly glanced at Ontari, knowing the young nightblood personally and waiting for her in Polis to take up the mantle of the commander, but her light brown eyes were taxing the blonde Sky girl with a flash of confusion.

“Can’t you make him stop?” Marie almost pleaded to Anya, surprising both the general and Echo with her plea. Anya frowned down at the girl, interfering with the flamekeeper’s training would not have crossed her mind. She had also never done so when the man had trained Lexa in the past, she had only waited for the man to ease up and let the brunette girl and took care of her afterwards.

The way Echo was taxing her charge with an intense gaze did not sit right with Anya when she noticed it and she steered the girl over to a few targets, ignoring her mute pleas for now, and handed her a series of daggers to throw at the targets.

With satisfaction Anya noted that the girl’s aim had not gotten worse but her throws certainly lacked strength which would only be increased by repeated training. A few of the warriors who were taking a break in their own training right now had turned around and watched Marie. The surprise at seeing the girl’s obvious talent was obvious in the subtle widening of their eyes, when Marie did not miss any target even once.

The flamekeeper had also taken up watching the girl train only looking back to Ontari every few moments.

Anya faced the girl in hand combat afterwards, testing which movements their charge still remembered and which had become sloppy and needed correction. She did not fight with her with the intent to hurt her, so she carefully measured her own attacks only bringing the girl to her back without any real force.

As a last part of the training Anya handed Marie two short swords, similar to the blades Lexa used and Marie had shown talent with before. The girl carefully felt the balance of the blades and faced off Anya with both blades in a defensive position. It was obvious Marie felt much securer wielding the blades in comparison to simple hand combat.

In a real fight the girl would still not stand any chance against Anya but she did do better in comparison still. Titus’ face showed open surprise and even a sliver of recognition for the girl’s skill.

Marie received a nod of approval from Anya and smiled widely at the general. The woman handed the girl a cup with water to refresh a bit and Marie gratefully gulped down the cool liquid in one go and asked for a refill.

Anya resumed training with Echo for now and Marie stood at the side line watching but her attention mainly on Ontari training with another male warrior at the moment. When their fight ended Marie stepped up to Ontari with her refilled cup in hand and offered the cup with water mutely to the girl.

Ontari visibly startled, her dark eyes had been glittering angrily and were now widened in obvious surprise at the kind gesture. With a thankful nod she accepted the cup and drained it in one go “Thank you” she said voice careful.

Titus’ had watched Marie approach the nightblood and his eyes were narrowed in obvious anger at her interfering his training.

“You looked like you could need it” Marie commented with kind eyes twinkling slightly.

Ontari seemed to bristle slightly at the comment but she could not detect any judgement in the other girl’s young features. The girl did not seem to have any ulterior motive to offer her water than simply the wish to do so. Ontari quickly glanced at the Trikru general who had accompanied the girl to the training pit and at Titus, both of them seemed surprised and even slightly angry at Marie for the kind gesture; her dark eyes also found Echo, recognizing her as a part of the loyal guard to Nia, the woman’s light brown eyes were sharp and suspicious as their eyes met. Ontari had no idea why Echo was still residing in Polis, she would have thought that Nia would immediately call the assassin back to her.

“Marie” Anya addressed the girl sharply and calling the girl back to her. Marie shortly smiled at Ontari and obediently returned to the general’s side. She guided the girl away from the training pits back towards the tower, they had been outside for a long time already and she doubted the girl should totally exert herself at the moment. They had to hurry now to get ready for the ceremony, the commander would expect both of them to be present.

Lexa was already in her quarters when they entered, Alira bustling around the younger woman, dressing her in a multi layered dress.

“Is there bathing water left?” Anya asked immediately as she took off her warm coat. Marie watched Risha walk over to the fire place shaking some of the frozen pieces of snow from her fur before the cub laid down in front of the blazing fire.

She ushered the girl into the bathroom with a gentle shove “We are late” Anya explained to their charge while already getting out of her grimy training amour “We will bath together” she decided quickly and Marie shrugged out of her things as well, letting them fall to the floor carelessly.

Marie slipped into the bathing tube in front of Anya and the woman immediately took out the braids out of her hair, which had gotten messy during her training.

“Anya?” the girl asked after a moment voice slightly unsure.

“Mmh?” the general grunted back taking up a bar of soap and foaming some in her hands to distribute into the girl’s blonde locks.

“Why are you training me not like this?” Marie voiced her question slightly turning her upper body to take a glance at the woman.

Anya’s hands hovered above the girl’s head for a moment caught off guard by the question. “So you think I am not training you correctly?” she retorted slightly affronted.

“No” Marie quickly reassured but after a moment she frowned “Or, I don’t know”.

Anya huffed, annoyed with the fact that the Azgeda nightblood was obviously still at the forefront of their charge’s thoughts. “Titus had always had a different approach at training” she settled on finally after a moment of contemplation.

“But does he have to be like that?” Marie kept on inquiring voice curious while Anya started to clear the soap from the girl’s body and handed the bar of soap over to Marie’s hands so that she could wash her body.

“Not necessarily” Anya admitted and started wetting her own hair.

“Then he was trying to kill her” Marie concluded with an obvious pout and handed the soap back “Can I help you?” she asked in a soft tone, but Anya shook her head ordering the girl to get out and start to dry off. Re-doing the girl’s hair would take Alira a few minutes already.

Marie’s lips tilted down in obvious disappointment but she obeyed the woman’s orders and climbed out of the bathing tube, wrapping a towel around her frame.

When she turned around and spotted a bleeding gash on Anya’s back the girl padded over to the bathing tube and gently laid her fingers on the wound, calling her power forth in the blink of an eye.

Anya hissed slightly at the burning sensation of Marie’s healing powers knitting the skin back together and although she was thankful for the girl’s assistance it worried her that Marie started to use her power just like that. It would be easy for someone to walk in on them and notice her strange healing powers, revealing her talent in the process.

“You should not use it for simple wounds” the general admonished in a sharp tone and with strict eyes when she got out of the tube a few moments later.

Marie’s grey big eyes were surprised and a brow raised in silent question at the reprimand. She had only meant to help and take the wound away from her.

Anya’s brown eyes got slightly softer at the girl’s startled look “I know that you mean well, but the more often you use it, the higher the probability for someone else to notice”.

Marie nodded in understanding and let herself be guided back into the main room of the commander’s quarters. Alira had finished with Lexa’s hair and was waiting for the young girl while Anya could do her hair herself and Lexa was applying paint around her eyes.

Marie sat obediently still while Alira first combed her hair with a wide-toothed comb and then started pulling sections into tightly wound braids. She watched Lexa apply the paint around her eyes which again looked different from the war paint the commander usually wore around her green eyes.

“Titus is trying to kill Ontari” Marie insisted now to Lexa and Anya huffed in obvious annoyance at the girl’s stubbornness.

Lexa paused with the brush hovering in front of her face and turned to Marie with a frown on her face and glanced at Anya who shook her head with a subtle eye roll. “You have seen them train than?” the commander inquired with a kind tone.

Marie nodded and opened her mouth but Lexa silenced the girl with a quick raise of her hand “You do not have to agree with Titus’ training methods, Marie. But he would never harm a novitiate on purpose” her voice was laced with conviction and left no room for a further argument. Marie still did not look really convinced but if Lexa trusted the flamekeeper, she probably should as well.


	123. Chapter 123

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 122  
> Skykru receives the ones back who passed their rites of redemption. Marie accompanies Anya to a training and gets to know Echo. She shows her kindness again to Ontari and they get ready for the ceremony to initiate Skykru into the coalition.

Chapter 123

Marie dearly hoped that initiating Skykru into the coalition would not take long. Anya had hurried them that much, that they did not have a chance to eat anything and their last meal had been breakfast. The sun was already disappearing outside and Marie felt her stomach already growling slightly in obvious hunger.

The ambassadors of all the clans had already been waiting in the throne room and fell to their knees in respect when Lexa swept into the room. The commander’s form looked so much smaller without the heavy shoulder pauldron and clad into a tightly fitting dress instead.

After the lesson Lexa had held with the novitiates she had briefly met up with Clarke to recommend Monty as a possible ambassador if she did not wish to take up the position. The blonde leader had been openly surprised at the reasonable suggestion telling the commander that she would speak with him before the ceremony, as the boy had also come to Polis with the intent to say his farewell to his mother and watch her death. Lexa had not heard back from the blonde so she had no idea on what Skykru had decided.

The commander remained standing in front of her throne and motioned the ambassadors to stand up again with a gesture of her hand, subtly inclining her head in acknowledgement to them. She motioned to one of the guards stationed at the door to let the Skykru representatives enter.

When the doors were pulled open again the group of Skykru entered preceded by Markus Kane. It was obvious all of them had washed up and groomed. Marie spotted Monty among them, the Asian looking boy was obviously pale and his eyes looked slightly puffy as if he had cried and an image of Hannah tied to the pole came to the forefront of her mind with a painful tug, but Monty did not seem angry. He had probably understood that his mother had made the choice herself that had gotten her killed.

Marie watched the reaction of the other ambassadors to the arrival of the Skykru group and it was obvious that not all of them were pleased with the situation. The Azgeda representative sneered openly, while the ambassadors of the Rock Line, Desert Clan and Glowing Forrest were eying the group with suspicious eyes.

The doors were still opened and when the Skykru group had taken their place between the ambassadors gathered in a half circle around the upper part of the throne room, Clarke strode into the room. Marie blinked in surprise at the blonde girl. She had obviously been styled by a handmaiden and her long hair was braided in a series of complicated braids. Her blue eyes were highlighted with paint as well, making them stand out strongly. She had been dressed into a tight dress as well that even slightly resembled the dress Lexa was wearing. Clarke held her head high as she strode into the throne room with purposeful strides and her eyes were almost blazing when she met Lexa’s gaze.

The commander watched the blonde leader step directly in front of her throne and after what felt like a long and intense eye contact, but was probably only a few seconds, Clarke bent her knee, submitting publicly to the commander.

After a tense moment the first ambassador fell to his knees as well prompting the others to follow his example. Anya motioned Marie subtly to do the same and in the end everyone in the room was kneeling in front of the commander.

Lexa shortly looked over all of those gathered in the room, the Skykru delegation had been the last to fall to their knees. But as they were not aware of most of their customs yet, that had been expected. “Hail warriors of the twelve clans” she addressed all of them in a loud and clear tone.

“Hail commander of the blood” the ambassadors echoed still on their knees. Lexa could not stop herself from looking at the blonde leader kneeling in front of her. Clarke had always been beautiful but right at this moment she looked absolutely stunning and the very image of absolute power to Lexa.

“Rise” Lexa commanded after a long moment finally looking away from Clarke and all of them got to their feet again and Clarke slowly walked over to join the group from Skykru. “We welcome Skykru to our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony, and we welcome Clarke from Skykru... Legendary Wanheda, Mountain Slayer. We are here at this summit to initiate Skykru into the coalition. To symbolize this union, the leader of Skykru must bare our mark”.

Lexa let her hard gaze sweep over the gathered ambassadors once, noting on those who seemed the most displeased, until her eyes turned to Markus Kane and the man stepped forward.

“Present your arm” the commander said calmly and watched Markus quickly role up the sleeve of the jacket he had been wearing and motioned to a guard to retrieve the heated metal rod with the branding. Markus groaned audibly when the red gleaming metal was pressed to his arm briefly and Marie turned a shade paler at the stench of burning flesh instantly wafting through the room.

Marie just now spotted Roan with the Ice Nation ambassador and softly smiled at the man when he looked her way and although his face remained impassive his blue eyes flashed with recognition when they met.

“Skykru will be required to leave an ambassador of their own in the capitol” the commander said once Markus had returned to his people “Who have you decided on?” she asked voice calm and strong.

Monty stepped forward slightly and inclined his head “I am going to be the ambassador of my people”. The boy tried to stand proudly against the scrutinizing gazes of the other ambassadors. Monty was slightly young to act in such a position, but Lexa actually preferred him in comparison to most of the older people of the Ark she had made contact with. Accommodations would be made permanently for the boy and the commander would hold a private audience with him to tell him what would be expected of him, as she doubted any of his people would be able to offer any help in that regard.

“To celebrate our new union, we are going to share our table at a banquet now” Lexa proclaimed after she had nodded to the boy and the ambassadors shortly nodded to their leader, before the first ones already left the throne room to go to the room feasts were usually taking place.

The banquet with Skykru and the other clans did go over without any bigger incidents. It was obvious that the clans were still extremely uneasy around the Skykru delegation and Monty would not have an easy start to hold his ground in the meetings with the other ambassadors.

The only ones really willing to sit next to Skykru were Octavia, Lincoln and Indra. Bellamy and the others who had just been released to them in the morning did not attend the banquet but had obviously stayed in their quarters to rest; the whole delegation would probably be leaving Polis on the next day.

A few brave and obviously curious members of the Desert Clan and the Boat People were the only ones who tried speaking with any of Skykru.

Marie watched from her place between Anya and the commander how a few clans seemed to only speak with each other and small groups seemed to have formed in the vast room. Although Anya had not had her train hard in the morning, she could still already feel the heaviness in her muscles and in a few places she was sure that bruises were already blooming on her skin.

Both Lexa and Anya were occupied with keeping watchful eyes over all those in the room, taking silent note on who spoke with who. Marie sat between them feeling slightly bored, after she had finished eating her fill there was nothing for her to do anymore.

Marie spotted Echo speaking with Roan at the table of the Ice Nation delegation and she wondered if they had known each other already. She wondered how the Ice queen would look like and she remembered that the woman had been summoned before the ambassadors by Lexa. If she had planned for Ontari to replace Lexa as the commander she doubted the queen would be pleased to hear that her plans had obviously failed.

“Lexa?” the girl addressed the commander lowly and the woman inclined her head slightly as a silent indication that she was listening to her. “Has queen Nia not been summoned to Polis?” Marie kept her voice low hoping that only Lexa and Anya would be able to hear her.

Lexa furrowed her brow silently surprised that the girl was asking after something like that now or rather at all. This was nothing they should be discussing in front of all the ambassadors anyway so the commander just said “Yes, she was” her voice ringing with a finality that put an end on the girl’s inquiry for now.

Marie shortly glanced up at Anya but the general subtly shook her head at her and the girl sighed under her breath and looked back over the crowd in the huge room.

When Roan caught the commander’s second looking over to him a few times, he let the corners of his mouth pull up into a slight smile and inclined his head to her in acknowledgment. The girl was still much more expressive and openly smiled back at him which did not go unnoticed by the commander and her general and even Echo, still standing beside him furrowed her brow. “You have met her?” the prince inquired lowly following Echo’s light brown eyes.

The Ice Nation assassin had subtly tried to inquire if he knew any new orders from his mother and he had to tread carefully around her, unsure who her loyalties really belonged to. “I have” Echo commented in an even tone but it was obvious that the blonde girl had somehow surprised the woman.

“She seems quiet special in her ways” Roan retorted his blue eyes switching between Echo and the commander’s second. The girl had obviously said something and judging from her expression it had been a complaint of some sorts and both women sitting next to her lightly glared down at the girl, making her almost shrink in her place.

Echo’s light brown eyes were hard when she looked away from the girl “She is soft” her voice was tinted with slight resentment “She offered water to Ontari. They must keep her isolated”. She had expected Ontari to make a move already and was astounded to see her training with the flamekeeper.

Roan looked around themselves with watchful eyes, it was almost careless of the assassin to speak about their nightblood in front of others who might be listening. But no one actually seemed to pay them any mind, it seemed the Skykru delegation was way more interesting at the moment. Showing a kind gesture to someone sounded absolutely like something the girl would do, but he did not doubt that there was a strength in the girl not easily spottable on the first glance. It was undeniable that the girl was different from the children born on earth but he was convinced that did not have to be a disadvantage. That the assassin had come to see him at all clearly indicated that she was waiting for orders from his mother and maybe unsure on how to proceed. 

Marie was relieved when Lexa finally stood from her chair efficiently ending the gathering with her retreat. Anya motioned her to follow the commander and Marie grimaced lightly at the slight pain she could already feel in her muscles after sitting straight in the chair for what felt like endless hours.

“We shall have to work on your patience” Lexa remarked when they entered the elevator to return to the commander’s quarters.

The girl looked up at the woman with a slightly guilty expression and Anya’s face also showed her displeasure at their charge’s behaviour during the banquet.

“Just sitting there was boring” Marie justified herself sullenly with a pout on her lips. But Lexa also noted on the tiredness on the girl’s features; she had just gotten better from her illness and the day had been rather long.

The general pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. She remembered vividly Lexa complaining about having to stand in on meetings such as these as well, but even as a child the future commander had been able to wait calmly as long as possible, something Marie obviously still needed to learn. When Anya made to open her mouth intent on reprimanding the girl as well, the commander subtly silenced her. They could speak with the girl once she had rested.

Now that the situation with Skykru had been dissolved and with the cold season upon them Lexa predicted that things would calm down at least until spring. The upcoming weeks would offer enough time for Marie to truly settle into Polis and her role in the capitol.

Marie was almost happy when they reached the commander’s quarters to be told by Anya to go into the bathroom and get ready to go straight to bed.

When she returned from the bathroom now dressed into a pair of wide soft trousers and a lose shirt, Lexa sat in front of a mirror washing off the paint around her eyes and Anya went into the bathroom next. The commander had already changed out of the dress and loosened her hair for the night.

Risha waited in the middle of the bed for her human wagging her tail at the girl and liking her fingers in greeting.

“Lexa” Marie addressed the commander in an insecure tone.

Lexa turned around slightly facing Marie and raising a brow at the girl in silent question, it was obvious from her whole pose that something was on her mind.

The girl stepped away from the bed and over to the commander, her grey eyes guilty “I did not mean to misbehave and reflect badly on you” the girl’s tone was slightly quivering. While washing up Marie had thought about why both of her mentors had reacted so strongly to her complaining about being bored and she realized that someone might have overheard and how both Lexa and Anya always seemed so stoic.

Lexa sighed mutely, fully turning to face the girl and her green eyes were soft as she said “We know, Marie. You are a child still and unused to the requirements of the position you now have here. You will get used to keeping up a façade soon enough”. The last part was meant as a reassurance and she smiled faintly at the girl, squeezing her shoulder as she did so. Lexa was reminded once again how delicate their charge truly was; she doubted another second would have paid any mind to a mild reprimand like that.

“What happens now that Skykru is in the coalition?” Marie asked after a silent moment of just meeting her gaze.

“The clans will need to get used to deal with Skykru” Lexa answered “I do not expect them to be open to any invention they might offer yet. Change like that takes time”.

Marie nodded in understanding. The words actually made sense to her, but she hoped that nothing would happen that could prompt another war.

“You can accompany me tomorrow to a training with nightbloods” Lexa offered after a moment of internal contemplation. The commander doubted that training the girl daily right from the start would work really well and that she probably needed some more time to get used to physical exertion again.

Marie nodded her grey eyes immediately shining enthusiastically at the prospect. She liked spending time with the nightblood children. With a frown on her face she said “Will Ontari also train with them?” Marie did not know that Ontari was still kept totally separated from the rest of the conclave.

Lexa sighed slightly not yet assured that the Ice Nation nightblood would not try something if offered a chance.

Now that the threat with Skykru was cleared Azgeda would probably make itself known quickly. The commander hoped that she could finally erase Nia once and for all. Roan would probably make a better king for the large clan and if she had an active hand in putting him onto the throne, the man would be pledged to be at least slightly loyal to the coalition. She hoped that Nia would truly wait until the snow melted to make her next move. That would offer her enough time to hopefully settle the other clans and secure the coalition.

“We shall see about Ontari” Lexa said after a few minutes of silent contemplation, still feeling the girl’s grey eyes taxing her intently. She knew that keeping the nightblood isolated forever from the rest of the conclave was not a feasible practise as well. Having the children brought together under supervision and heavy guard was probably the best they could do.

Marie nodded obviously satisfied with the vague answer for now. When Anya stepped out of the bathroom Marie immediately turned around to face the general watching her face to judge her mood, checking if the other woman might be angry at her. In her mind it did not automatically mean that Anya would not be angry at her behaviour just because Lexa had not been. 

But Anya only looked perplexed at the girl’s intent stare and her brown eyes had lost their annoyance for now. Anya shortly glanced at Lexa with a raised brow mutely inquiring what this was about, but Lexa only shook her head subtly and said in a calm tone “Go to bed, Marie”.

Marie nodded instantly and settled into the middle of the bed. Both of them had gotten used to having the girl switching between cuddling to one of them during the night and letting her fall asleep in the middle was the most practical thing. Risha usually settled at the girl’s feet. The girl was still moving around the bed way too much for the cub to be able to sleep anywhere else.


	124. Chapter 124

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 123  
> Skykru gets initiated into the coalition and Monty will function as their ambassador. Afterwards a small banquet is hold.

Chapter 124

Marie grumbled under her breath when Anya shook her awake and the sun had not even risen fully yet. The girl stretched under the furs with a huff not really willing to stand up just yet as it was totally comfortable in the bed.

Anya thinned her lips glaring down at the girl and with one sharp tug the general had pried the furs covering Marie’s body away from her.

The girl let out an indignant squeak and immediately sat up in the bed frowning up at her mentor with a pout on her lips “Can’t I sleep longer?”

Anya rolled her eyes in slight annoyance and shook her head mutely pointing already at the bathroom and with an audible sigh Marie crawled from the bed and went into the bathroom.

“She is getting more comfortable” Lexa commented in an even tone not looking up from the scroll she was studying intensely. The commander had risen from her bed some time ago and was leaning over reports from the Desert Clan trying to decipher the messy writing for what felt like hours already.

Anya only grunted absent-minded while she was in the process of inspecting her sword and gauging if she had sharpened it enough. They had already let the girl sleep way longer than both of them had but the Skykru delegation was supposed to leave at first light and they would be seeing them off. “She needs a firmer routine” the general finally said, satisfied with the condition of her sword once again “If we ever want her to improve in training”.

Lexa nodded putting aside the scrolls for now; she direly needed to remind the ambassadors to take care that only people who truly had writing skills were tasked with writing reports to the capitol. “Now that everything should have calmed until the snow melts that should not be a problem” the commander answered. But now that Marie was finally better they would truly need to start training her in earnest or she would never improve.

When Marie returned from the bathroom the girl yawned wholeheartedly and glanced out of the window with a sullen expression “Why are we up already?” she asked in a slightly accusing tone.

“Skykru leaves at first light” Lexa said as a short explanation ignoring the girl’s obvious mood altogether.

“What does that have to do with me?” Marie questioned sitting down on one of the couches and Risha who had previously slept next to Lexa, immediately leapt over to her human.

“Have you forgotten, that you will be accompanying either of us until we can trust you again, now that your bedrest is over?” Anya tossed in her brown eyes strict and an eyebrow raised slightly in question.

Marie had already opened her mouth to say something but closed it with an audible snap, her shoulders sagging visibly as she shook her head mutely. Lexa internally wondered if their charge had already forgotten about her still open punishment.

Breakfast was a silent and quick affair and Marie still did not understand why the departure of the Skykru delegation required their presence at all. The group had arrived in a rover and seeing them off was not spectacular at all.

Abby was obviously still actively trying to persuade Clarke to accompany them back to Arkadia. But the blonde young woman was steadfast in her opinion and was not to be swayed; her blue eyes were determined and their discussion became louder with every retort.

The commander watched the heated exchange between mother and daughter with the inner urge to step in and simply order Clarke to stay in the capitol and by thus making Abby’s efforts null. But it had been plainly obvious in the short exchange of glances they had that some of Clarke’s anger had resurfaced and her blue eyes had sparked heatedly, surprising the commander with the intense emotion.

Kane was the one who finally reasoned with Abby that Clarke staying behind in the capitol and working with the resident healers could only be a good thing if they ever wished to truly start trading knowledge with the other clans. So the woman conceded aware that if she did not physically force Clarke from Polis there was no way her daughter would accompany them. 

The ones who had been subjected to the lashings to be cleared of their sins seemed to do slightly better already and were able to walk on their own; although all of them wore identical pained grimaces.

Octavia was visibly absent from the group to see the Skykru delegation leave. Bellamy’s shoulders seemed to drop in resignation and he addressed Clarke in an almost pleading tone “Tell her that I am sorry, alright? And that I wish to be there for their bonding”. The blonde nodded and carefully enveloped Bellamy before Kane helped him into the rover.

The new leader from Skykru officially once again thanked the commander before saying his goodbyes and he smiled slightly at Marie in silent recognition.

Lexa and Anya both breathed slightly easier when the loud roaring of the rover had faded and the Skykru delegation had truly left Polis.

The general steered Marie in the direction of the training pits after the guards took up their normal posts again. When the girl immediately inquired after the lesson with the nightblood children Lexa had promised to take her to, the commander said that she would meet them later and she parted ways with them returning to the tower for now.

Anya set a faster pace for their charge’s training this time and it was obvious she was pushing the girl to her limits pretty quickly. Marie had great difficulties with moving over the snowy ground without stumbling in the tempo the general demanded of her.

Before Anya had only let her run normal rounds but now Marie understood the purpose of a few weird contraptions functioning as obstacles.

Marie was completely out of breath and felt her heart beating extremely rapidly against her burning chest. The ice cold air burned in her lungs and breathing felt totally uncomfortable. Anya had taken her coat from her and in the beginning Marie had shivered with the cold but now she felt heated and a few strands of her blond hair were slicked to her face.

“Combat training” Anya suddenly called out, stopping Marie in her fast rounds. The girl came to a skidding halt next to her, her hands pressed to her chest and her face contorted into a grimace.

Marie had a bloody graze on her pale face where she had failed a climbing obstacle the first time and scratched the side of her head oddly falling from the thing. She noticed a few warriors also training on the training pits now, when they had arrived the pits had been deserted still. Among them Marie recognized Echo, the woman Anya had trained with yesterday and she immediately felt her light brown eyes follow her very move.

“Why is she watching me like that?” Marie asked Anya in a breathless whisper looking right back at the Azgeda assassin.

The general followed their charge’s grey eyes and her brown eyes narrowed slightly at the open interest in Echo’s gaze. Anya had originally thought that all the warriors were bound to be watching the girl train, like everyone in TonDC had been interested in the commander’s second’s training, but most of the others were focused on their own training barely sparing the both of them more than a quick glance. Mutely Anya motioned Marie to square off in her standard combat stance ignoring the Azgeda woman for now, but in the back of her mind Anya also kept a watchful eye on her, still being wary of the woman’s motives for staying in the capitol in the first place.

Marie had thought that the soft snow might be able to cushion at least some force when Anya brought her to her back rapidly, but the snow had long been compressed into a sturdy layer now as hard as concrete. She felt as if she had forgotten most of the combat techniques and Anya was criticizing her non-stop on every little detail she did wrongly.

She had a busted lip and a bruise forming on her cheekbone when Anya finally called an end to the training session and Marie breathed out a heavy sigh of relieve. The girl knew without a doubt that she would probably barely be able to move the next day as her muscles already felt heavy and stiff in various places in her body.

Anya’s expression was hard to decipher for Marie right now so she had no idea if her mentor was satisfied with her effort or if she had failed at training in her eyes.

The general brought Marie to the commander’s quarters on the direct way where lunch was already waiting for them. Only two plates had been served so Lexa either had already eaten or would eat in the throne room.

Marie felt her stomach rumbling with hunger from the exhaustion of the long and her training and immediately started to dig in, almost wolfing down the food with the speed she was going. Anya watched the girl with a frown on her face but her brown eyes were dancing with fond amusement at Marie’s antics, she only hoped the girl would not make herself sick and throw up everything later.

With a slight grimace Marie felt blood trickling from her busted lip. Now that she was inside she felt the cut in her lip pulsing painfully, the cold air outside had numbed most of the pain. Anya gave Marie a piece of cloth with the direction to press it against her busted lip and wait until the bleeding stopped. The general felt slightly guilty for having inflicted the wounds on their charge in the first place but she knew she had not caused serious harm and Marie would need to get used to superficial wounds or she would never learn to get fast enough to evade her fists.

“We won’t train again today, will we?” the girl checked with a slight worry on her features which only made Anya snort.

“No, you have had enough for one day” the general reassured “And you will take a bath later to sooth your muscles”. In addition she or Lexa would massage an oil into her skin which would help void of sore muscles until she got used to the amount of training and her body had toughened up.

“Anya, who is Echo?” Marie asked after a moment of silence, the girl had noticed how Anya had kept watch over the woman during their whole training after she had tipped her off about being watched by her first.

“She was among those rescued from the Mountain” the general explained “And she is Azgeda”.

Marie scrunched up her brow in confusion “But she does not have the scarring” she commented confusion obvious in her tone.

“Assassins never have markings which would point back to their clan” Anya said as explanation and watched the girl’s features taken on an even more confused look.

“If you are suspicious of her, why is she still in Polis?” Marie asked after a moment of silent contemplation.

“Echo has claimed that the Mountain have changed her loyalties and her purpose of life” Anya answered her tone showing that she did not trust the other’s words “As long as we do not have definite proof that she lies, she will remain”.

Anya closed the conversation with pushing the first commander’s journal into their charge’s hands telling the girl to read until Lexa would meet with the novitiates. Marie nodded, relieved with the time she could remain sitting on the comfortable couch and quickly lost herself in the journal and the story of a history long forgotten.

Marie had managed to read quite a few pages when Gustus knocked and told them that he was to escort Marie into the throne room. Anya left to return to her unit and continue training with them leaving Marie in Gustus’ capable hands.

Marie winced visibly when she stood from the couch, the muscles in her legs felt all cramped up now and walking plain out hurt. She was internally grateful that Gustus accommodated his steps so that she could even keep up at all.

The commander had met with Indra, Lincoln and Octavia speaking about their impending bonding and had agreed that she would hold the ceremony in three weeks from now, offering enough time for the preparation of a big festive.

Lexa frowned at the obvious injuries on the girl’s face and the slight limp she was obviously trying hard not to show. The commander had talked about starting their charge’s training again with her general but she had not known that Anya would start this fiercely immediately.

Nevertheless Marie still smiled happily at Lexa upon meeting the woman’s green eyes, just happy to see her again.

“You do not have any serious injuries?” Lexa checked just to make sure once the girl stood in front of her and Marie immediately shook her head.

With a slight grimace she said “But I don’t think I’ll be able to move at all tomorrow”.

An amused smirk tugged at Lexa’s lips as she shook her head green eyes gentle as she met Marie’s grey eyes.

The arrival of the nightblood children called Lexa’s attention from Marie and the children immediately dispersed around the throne and sat on the floor. Marie was still standing in front of the throne obviously indecisive if she should join the others or remain standing, when Lexa addressed her novitiates “You all know of the Ice Nation nightblood Ontari and you are now going to meet her”.

The novitiates all reacted immediately to this piece of information. The tentative smiles they had had on their faces all froze or vanished and they straightened, sitting up straighter and prouder. No one of them said anything though and Marie frowned at their reactions not understanding why they were reacting the way they did. Lexa had not expected any of the children to disagree with her, all of them had been aware that if Ontari was not executed this moment would come sooner or later. The commander nodded to a guard posted at the door and the man left with quick steps returning only moments later with Ontari in tow.

Marie watched how Ontari stepped into the throne room. Her expression was a mixture out of barely hidden nervousness and aggressiveness. The nightblood children who did meet her gaze were all taxing her with suspicious and openly hateful gazes, but especially the younger novitiates were obviously quite uneasy in the other girl’s presence and stared at the floor instead.

“You are all going to share a lesson every day now” Lexa proclaimed likewise addressing her nightbloods and Ontari. She noted how Boo seemed to inch closer to Thalu having heard that the two had started to form a tentative bond and that Boo was finally starting to settle in, finding Polis and herself vastly different from what he had been told.

Ontari remained standing keeping her chin jutted out and glaring down at the older nightbloods with open resentment but her glare faltered visibly when her dark eyes connected with Marie’s surprised ones.

Lexa knew that Ontari would have a hard time ever gaining trust among the rest of the conclave and she could not begrudge the children of their resentment; the Ice Nation nightblood had been sent into the capitol to kill them and she had no doubt that Ontari would have without batting an eye if she had had the chance.

Marie did not understand why the other children were reacting this hostile towards Ontari, she had thought that now that Lexa as the commander had decided to give her a chance the others would as well. She was internally grateful they had been more welcoming when she herself had been introduced to them.

Lexa watched with a raised brow how Marie suddenly seemed to square her shoulders and walked over to the place where Ontari still stood and sat down on the floor next to the girl glancing up at her mutely with a demanding expression on her features.

It seemed to take a long moment of Marie silently staring up at Ontari and the nightblood staring down with a furrowed brow and thinned lips until she sighed inaudibly and sat down next to the younger girl.

A smile ghosted over Lexa’s lips at the sight wondering internally how Marie seemed to possess in inherent talent to diffuse such situations. The commander let her gaze wander over the whole conclave and started her lesson purposefully repeating again what they regarded as the pillars of a commander.

Ontari did not actively partake in the first part of the lesson but Lexa could see that the girl listened intently although her dark eyes flitted over to Marie from time to time obviously still confused by the kindness of the blonde Sky girl.

It was also quite obvious that the Ice Nation nightblood disagreed on compassion being required from a commander by the furrow in her brow at Thalu’s immediate answer.

“A true leader spends day and night with the purpose to keep their people save and puts all effort to better their lives, sacrificing themselves when they have to, that does take compassion, Ontari” Lexa interjected her green eyes intense as she looked down at the younger girl.

“You disagree?” the commander called Ontari out directly putting her into a position where she needed to justify her opinion.

The girl’s dark eyes were angry when she met the commander’s calm gaze “A powerful leader does not need to make sacrifices” her voice was arrogant and her whole poise as well.

Lexa looked down at the younger girl with a heavy piercing gaze sighing under her breath. She had once also shared that believe, why would a leader need to make sacrifices? She did not wish to bring up Costia with Ontari, so Lexa instead described the decision she had been faced with at the Mountain asking the younger girl for what she would have decided.

But it was obvious rather quickly that Ontari did not understand the gravity of the decision Lexa had to make back then. “I watched my warriors being shot down” Lexa calmly retold the situation on the ridge in front of the Mountain “The Mountain threatened to destroy the capitol with their missiles. All they wanted in exchange for all our prisoners were that I called the army to retreat and…” her voice trailed off shortly and Marie’s grey eyes seemed huge in her face when she looked up at the commander and Lexa felt her voice waver slightly as she said “… and they demanded Marie”.

A sheen of tears glistened in Marie’s eyes and her breathing visibly quickened as the memories of the night resurfaced in her mind. Lexa feared the girl was slipping into another panic attack, still remembering how the girl had clung to Anya in the Mountain before its final destruction.

Ontari had already opened her mouth to retort that the Sky girl was “only” her second and replaceable when Lexa suddenly stood from her throne halting the younger girl in her answer.

Lexa advanced carefully on Marie knowing that this state of mind could leave people confused and unresponsive. At first the girl’s grey eyes were wide and unseeing and she visibly inched away from Lexa’s outstretched hands, clearly not recognizing the commander.

Ontari watched the scene with a frown. Until now she had only seen the general together with the blonde Sky girl and she had not expected the commander to truly have a close bond to her as well. The other novitiates watched with worried eyes, they had all already heard what had transpired at the Mountain and all of them had taken an instant liking to Marie; it was obvious that what happened there was bothering the girl deeply to cause this condition.

“Marie” Lexa addressed the girl in a soothing tone and when that failed to show a reaction she tried _“little star, you are save”._

Ontari sat near enough to Marie to be able to hear the commander’s almost whispered words and the compassion in her green eyes for the blonde girl were enough proof to show how deeply the woman obviously cared for her second.

Hearing her nickname and Trigedasleng sort of reached Marie even through her blind panic still caught in the Mountain mentally and she blinked at Lexa with silent tears rolling down her cheeks, immediately hurling herself at the woman once she recognized her again.

“Sshhh” Lexa soothed the girl and enveloped her in her arms, while she nodded at a guard and shortly addressed the rest of the conclave “You are dismissed for now, we will resume tomorrow”.

Ontari still watched how the commander cradled the girl’s body against her own and gently stroked her blonde hair to calm her whispering something in her ear while she did. The Ice Nation nightblood followed the guard who had brought her into the throne room willingly, her mind in utter turmoil. The longer she now stayed in Polis the more her teachings were put to a test and watching this intimate scene had touched something inside her, she could not quite put a name on right now. But she was absolutely convinced that Nia would never have enveloped her with this tender care just to sooth her fears; in fact she could not remember a single tender touch from the Ice queen at this point. 


	125. Chapter 125

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quiter chapter.  
> A very big thanks to those who take the time to leave a review =) They truly help to motivate me to keep on writing.  
> I hope I will be able to keep up posting twice a week, but I might need to reduce it to once a week soon. My writing progress had slowed considerably =(
> 
> Previously in chapter 124  
> Skykru leaves Polis and Anya takes up Marie’s training again. Marie attends a lesson between the whole conclave and the commander. Ontari is surprised to watch the commander handle Marie having a breakdown.

Chapter 125

Lexa ordered Gustus to tell a handmaid to prepare a bath ahead in her quarters, knowing that a warm bath would help Marie relax further once the girl had calmed again.

The commander momentarily sat down on her throne, their charge pressed against her chest sitting in her lap. Lexa could still feel deep sobs shaking Marie’s body heavily and she felt the girl’s tears dampening the skin of her neck where Marie had hidden her face.

She had originally planned to meet with Monty briefing him on what his role as an ambassador entailed but the commander told another guard to rely the message to the Sky boy that their meeting would be rescheduled to a later point. When Gustus returned nodding that her orders were being fulfilled Lexa stood from the throne, keeping Marie’s body save in her arms as the girl instinctively snuck her legs around her hip and carried the girl mutely from the throne room. Although none of the guards dared to speak up about seeing their commander in such an unlikely state, with a child clinging to her, Lexa could still feel their eyes on her following her every move. The commander had expected her warriors to look down on her for broadcasting a weakness like that but the eyes of those she met were not scornful at all but rather compassionate and approving.

Gustus and Ryder both followed her mutely, their heavy steps resonating loudly against the stone walls. On the way to the commander’s quarters they met Clarke in the elevator who was on the way to her own quarters, having finished helping the healers for the day.

Clarke’s blue eyes widened when she noticed Marie obviously crying in the commander’s arms and how the stoic woman just mutely cradled the girl to her body. “Is she hurt?” Clarke asked, her instincts to heal and sooth pain kicking in, after a weird moment of silence, internally hoping that Lexa would explain, but the commander had looked away instead not meeting her eyes any longer.

“No” Lexa simply answered her eyes only shortly glancing at the blonde woman before she stared at the wall again, head held high. Clarke wondered internally how the commander was able to still look like this incarnate picture of power and comfort a child tenderly at the same time.

Lexa ignored the blonde leader on the rest of the ride of the elevator which seemed to stretch longer than normally to her as she still felt Clarke’s blue eyes searching her face intently. She breathed a mute sigh of relieve when they reached the top floor of the tower and she already strode out of the elevator before Clarke had even started to move.

Gustus and Ryder took up post in front of the commander’s quarters relieving the guards which had stood there before of their duty for now.

The bath had already been prepared and the tube was filled with gently streaming hot water which had already filled the bathroom with moist sweetly smelling air.

Getting Marie to let go of her even for a short moment took rather a lot of convincing and the girl still let out a whining noise when Lexa pried her fingers gingerly from her coat.

“Marie, you need to undress to get into the bath” Lexa addressed the girl amusement colouring her tone and her green eyes were light, but took on a worried expression when Marie did not seem to react to her words. The commander strode from the room in haste.

Lexa got rid of her shoulder pauldron, red sash and warm coat quickly; the warm moist air in the bathroom almost stifling her under her commander garments. Also discarding of the sword strapped to her hip and her gloves before she returned into the bathroom. She frowned when Marie had not seemed to have moved even a slight bit in her brief absence.

The commander sighed under her breath and started undressing the girl with little assistance from their charge who simply let herself be handled apathetically.

“Will it ever go away?” the girl asked suddenly in a voice which had a hollow quality to it and her grey eyes swam in a bout of fresh tears.

Lexa paused in her movements after she had pulled the girl’s shirt over her head and looked down at the girl with grave eyes. She crouched down in front of the girl and gently took her chin in one hand forcing her to meet her gaze. Lexa felt a painful tug at her heart all too aware that she was the reason for their charge’s distress.

“The memories will never leave you” Lexa said honestly, not finding it helpful to sugar-coat the hard truth for the girl’s benefit. “But you will learn to live with them, get stronger and they will stop hurting you like this over time, losing their cutting edges” she reassured with an intent tone and honest green eyes.

Marie looked at her with big grey eyes that seemed to plead mutely with Lexa to make the pain go away somehow and she would have, if her power as the commander had afforded her this ability. Lexa squeezed the girl’s shoulder reassuringly and a smile ghosted over her lips “Let’s get you into the bath. It will relax your muscles from the training”.

Marie nodded mutely but her expression still looked grave and pitiful. She took of her trousers herself and took Lexa’s offered hand for help to step over the rim of the bathing tube into the warm water. Lexa carefully scanned the girl’s body for obvious injuries but besides a few bruises distributed over the child’s body she seemed unharmed.

The water felt good and soothing on her skin and the water smelled strongly of the herbs and flower petals still floating on the surface.

“Can you stay?” Marie asked in a small voice when Lexa made to leave the bathroom and let the girl soak on her own for some time.

The commander stopped in her tracks and turned back to their charge with a smile tugging at her lips and looked down at the girl with soft eyes. It was obvious Marie did not wish to be left alone right now and the shadow of the Mountain still seemed to linger darkly around her.

Following an instinct Lexa nodded and simply shrugged out of her own clothes. She could use a bath too and she knew that Anya had already shared one with the girl.

Marie blinked up at the commander with surprise clear on her face. She had not expected for Lexa to actually share a bath with her but just wait in the room for her to finish. She watched Lexa take off her clothes and her grey eyes took in the intricate tattoo running down the commander’s spine. Beside a few scars which probably stemmed from old injuries either received in training or in battle, Marie could not detect any kill marks on the commander’s skin.

The girl moved away from the edge of the bathing tube making room for Lexa silently and waited until the commander slid into the water behind her. Marie remained sitting in the middle of the bathing tube awkwardly. She did not know how to tread in this unexpected situation and felt suddenly shy although she would have wished to lean back and feel Lexa’s reassurance, Marie was unsure if she was allowed to right now or not. 

Lexa furrowed her brow slightly confused why the girl was keeping an obvious distance to her in the water and gingerly put her hands on the girl’s shoulder, not wanting to startle her. The girl’s body was tense and she was sitting up straight. Lexa remembered that Anya had told her about their charge’s obvious shyness regarding her body and nudity in general. She had not been in this state of undress with the girl yet and guessed her awkwardness would stem from there.

“I will take out your braids for you” she informed their charge in a soothing tone, ignoring the girl’s obvious discomfort for now hoping that Marie would relax on her own after a few moment, and carefully she loosened the bands holdings the girl’s blonde hair together in the braids. She let the red bands fall to the side next to the bathing tube and carded her fingers through the blonde locks, detangling them gently.

“You do not have kill marks” Marie said after a few peaceful moments of silence as she started to relax slowly as Lexa had started to simply let her fingertips run over the child’s scalp soothingly for a few moments.

“No, I do not” Lexa replied easily as she took out the last braid of the girl’s blonde hair.

“Why not?” Marie asked honest interest obvious in her tone.

“A commander’s back is not big enough to bear all the kill marks” Lexa replied voice heavier now but still steady.

After Lexa had freed the girl’s hair off all the braids and combed them out with her fingers, she let her hands rest comfortingly on Marie’s back gently gliding over the moist skin, not quite in a massage but rather just a soothing caress.

“Should I get yours out as well?” Marie asked after a long silence. The girl’s body had visibly drained off all the tension under the commander’s tender touches.

The ends of her hair were already hanging in the water, so she could as well just give them a wash. Lexa mutely nodded and after some manoeuvring around in the bathing tube, Lexa now sat with her back to Marie and the girl carefully started with taking out the metal beads out of the commander’s braids.

“Does the tattoo have a meaning?” Marie inquired after a moment. Now that Lexa sat facing her with her back she could intently study the tattoo and she was fascinated by the design. She felt Lexa’s back tensing slightly at the unexpected question before the commander exhaled audibly and relaxed again.

“I got it on the day of my ascension as the commander” Lexa answered after a heavy sigh.

Marie furrowed her brow and she immediately apologized as it was obvious the woman did not wish to speak about it and that she had upset the woman with her question.

“I will tell you more about it another time” Lexa promised in a lighter tone as Marie started to take out the braids. A shadow passed over Lexa’s face at the memory of her own conclave which only reminded her that she direly needed to think of a possibility to change the bloody tradition which would not result in the nightbloods she had seen grow up slaughtering each other.

After Marie finished with freeing Lexa’s brown locks and they fell freely down her back, they manoeuvred back around until Lexa laid back against the bathing tube and Marie leant back against her closing her eyes in obvious relaxed contentment.

Lexa herself relaxed in the warm water not minding the company of their charge at all. Taking time to soak in the water of a bath had long been the only luxury the commander could afford and she had come to cherish the quiet moments of peace a bath offered; even Titus had never dared to disrupt her at these little moments.

The commander gently roused Marie who had dozed off in her arms when the water started to noticeably cool and quickly washed both their hair before getting out together. They dried of in silence and Marie’s features were still drawn in exhaustion and her grey eyes seemed tired and unfocused.

Lexa dressed in comfy clothes, not intending to leave her quarters for the rest of the day and sent the girl to lie down on the bed just in her underwear. Although the confusion was obvious in Marie’s features she complied with the order mutely.

The commander took a vial of oil from one of the cabinets in the bathroom and joined Marie. The fire was still stocked and it was comfortably warm in her chambers but Marie still visibly shivered lying on the furs without any cover.

Lexa gingerly straddled the girl’s legs, careful to keep her complete weight on her own knees and off of Marie and poured some of the oil into her hand, warming it between her palms before she started gingerly massaging Marie’s back.

Marie had tensed at first at the unexpected touch but quickly relaxed under the ministration. It took Lexa quite some time to carefully massage all the muscle in the girl’s back, before she switched to her arms and at last moved to the girl’s legs. Her left thigh already felt hardened to the touch and Marie hissed slightly when Lexa started to try to force the muscle to relax. But after some insistent presses Lexa felt the hardened muscle start to become loose again.

The commander whipped her hands off the oil on a clean cloth and covered Marie with a thick fur with the gentle order to remain lying down for some time, offering her muscles some time to rest as well. She could feel the girl’s grey eyes following her through the room as Lexa mutely organized some of her things.

“What is on your mind?” Lexa questioned shortly glancing over her shoulder as she stowed away some maps in their rightful places. She had anticipated for the girl to drift back into slumber but it seemed her mind was in too much turmoil at the moment which kept her awake.

Marie had a frown on her face as she said “Why were the others reacting to Ontari like that?”

Lexa would have regarded this kind of question for some sort of joke, if the girl’s voice was not coloured so strongly with honest confusion and her grey eyes clearly showed that she had tried hard to think of a reason and had failed to come up with one herself. Lexa felt a certain level of alarm at the young girl’s measure of trust she still did seem to possess for strangers. After Ontari had abducted Marie from Polis the commander would have expected Marie to react similar to the other nightbloods, but the girl had reacted in the complete opposite way.

The commander went over back to the bed and sat down on the edge meeting Marie’s gaze with calm green eyes. “Marie, Ontari was sent to Polis by queen Nia to assassinate the other novitiates and me. So that she could have risen to take up command” she tried to reason with the girl in a gentle tone.

“But she did not” Marie retorted immediately with scrunched up brows.

Lexa nodded with a sigh “She did not, yes. But not because she would not have, but because she failed to get into the tower, Marie. It is still possible that Ontari will try to fulfil for what she came to Polis in the first place if she sees a chance”.

“I don’t think she would” Marie proclaimed with a conviction in her voice that told Lexa that the girl truly believed in what she had just said. Lexa internally could only disagree; they had not seen enough of the Ice Nation nightblood to truly judge if she was just waiting for an opening to strike or if her views were truly changing already. But she would not be this naïve about Ontari like Marie quite obviously was. The level of their charges naivety clearly showed a big difference in their way of upbringing. The children born on the ground learned early on in live not to trust strangers, knowing that a meeting with a stranger could very well end deadly if you did not keep your guard up at all times. Marie had obviously not learned the same thing and Lexa internally questioned if she ever would adapt this way of thinking. The girl had trusted Arla, only to be betrayed and used; she had trusted Roan blindly shortly after meeting him which luckily had not ended badly for her and she now seemed to trust Ontari even though she had been abducted by her.

Trying to teach their charge some distrust when meeting a stranger would be imperative in keeping the girl alive or situations like this were bound to repeat themselves.

After a long moment of silence Lexa had decided that she would try to explain more in depths why trusting Ontari like this was so dangerous. “Ontari has been raised with the purpose to take over as the commander, Marie” Lexa explained intently and held up her hand when Marie made to interrupt her. “Let me finish” she said firmly and after Marie nodded mutely, she continued “Her whole life she was trained for this day and her training will not have been like anything you have seen my nightbloods be subjected to”.

Lexa waited for a moment and Marie nodded remembering the heavy scarring she had seen on Ontari’s back while cleaning her back off of the black blood in the cave.

“It will have quite literally been beaten into her that she needs to be the commander” Lexa continued with a heavy voice. Although she would continue to remain wary of the Ice Nation nightblood until she had proven not to be loyal anymore to her queen, Lexa could still feel some compassion for the fate of the girl. Ontari had told her that she been ripped from her parents at a young age and brought to the Ice queen afterwards; so the girl had had little say in her upbringing.

“But she is not allowed to hurt you…” Marie said with a furrow to her brow, as if the idea that Ontari could still try something had not even crossed her mind until now. Lexa smiled down at the girl with a heavy sigh; if the world would work in such a way everything would be so much easier.

“We are taking every possible precaution to prevent such an event” Lexa reassured Marie and squeezed her shoulder.

The girl’s grey eyes had lost their previous tiredness and Lexa said she could get up now if she wished. “Do I have to?” Marie asked in a slightly whiny tone only getting even more comfortable under the furs.

Lexa shook her head with amusement dancing in her green eyes and simply offered the first commander’s journal to the girl. Marie looked at the book for a few moments as if contemplating if she actually wanted to read or not. Lexa furrowed her brow and the corners of her lips dipped in impatience until Marie took the book from her hands with a sheepish expression.

The commander took up her own journal and sat down on a chair next to the bed, aware that Marie usually preferred them to stay in eyesight. After the girl’s flashback it was expected that she would need the assurance of someone staying close to her even more.

Some time passed in relative silence between them, only interrupted by the occasional rustle of a page and the continuous scratching of the feather against the page as Lexa noted down her thoughts. The companionable silence was disturbed again when Anya returned to the commander’s quarters, breathing heavily, and a few new grazes were visible on her face and hands, testament to a hard training session.

“The water in the tube might still be warm enough” Lexa informed barely looking up from the page she was scribbling fervently on.

Anya huffed but nodded mutely, discarding her armour quickly and although the water was only lukewarm it sufficed to get clean quickly.

“How do your muscles feel?” Anya asked Marie once she returned out of the bathroom, cleaned off the grime and blood.

“Lexa massaged them” Marie said with a smile looking up from the book and closing it, welcoming the distraction Anya presented.

Anya frowned slightly, as she had planned to do that later; but she quickly shook off that thought. She thought they would probably sort of need to learn not to feel the need to outcompete each other, but it was obvious that was solely something she and Lexa would need to learn with, for Marie this things seemed to come naturally without effort and conscious thought. She felt certainly soothed when Marie immediately scooted over to cuddle up to her when Anya sat down on the edge of the bed.


	126. Chapter 126

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 125  
> Lexa and Marie spent some time together while Anya is training her unit. Lexa shares a bath with her second and they speak about the dangers of trusting Ontari.

Chapter 126

Monty’s POV:

Monty looked around the room which had been assigned to him deep in thought. The last days had been nothing but utter chaos and he had barely had a moment to breathe, less than actually sit down and think.

He had to admit that the room was much grander than he would have expected when Clarke had approached him and nearly begged him to agree to take up the post as the ambassador of Skykru. If someone else than Clarke would have asked him, Monty was sure he would have declined, unwilling to stay within the grounder capitol. Clarke had made it pretty obvious that she did not deem anyone else fitting for the post instead of herself and Monty could still see the guilt in her blue eyes and how drawn her features had been.

What he had seen this far from the grounder capitol and its inhabitants had not matched at all to what Monty had expected. Even though there were many warriors scattered around the streets he had quickly realized that there was much more to the grounder’s lives than visible on first glance.

He had watched the other part of the Skykru delegation leave the capitol with mixed feelings. Monty would have felt saver to leave with them, but he knew that Clarke was right in her opinion that he could help their people better if he remained here.

Monty had caught sight of Marie standing between the commander and the fierce looking general. The girl’s face clearly showed that she was neither interested in seeing Skykru off, nor was she very awake and Monty felt a smile tugging at his lips when the general glared down at the unmindful girl and Marie was completely unfazed and only leaned against the woman slightly. It was astounding to him how quickly and seemingly effortlessly the girl had adapted to the new world around them and had found a place for herself; he dearly hoped that the rest of their people will manage to follow her example.

He felt a painful tug in his heart as a memory of happier days in the throes of his family resurfaced and were replaced by his mother dying on the wooden pole. Monty knew that she would have been executed on the Ark for a crime like trying to break out a prisoner so he knew that feeling resentment for the commander and the grounders was not warranted at all. Monty still wished that everything would have played out differently; he had seen how aggressive Pike and his mother had been against the few Trikru warriors who had remained at Arkadia to teach them how to hunt efficiently without guns. He had watched their behaviour without doing anything and now he could not stop wondering if he would have been able to change his mother’s mind, if he had just tried harder.

Monty sat down on the bed which was huge for his understanding, being used to the small metal beds of the Ark in Farm Station, which had always been one of the poorer stations. The bed was laden with a variety of furs from animals he was unable to identify but they had been able to warm him comfortably during the cold nights.

A handmaid knocked at the door and he called out for her to enter. Monty stood from the bed again and walked over to meet the girl; he judged her to be around his age. Her skin was tanned and her light brown hair was braided in a simple braid falling down her back. He recognized the girl to be the one which had already brought breakfast to him in the morning and he smiled slightly at her meeting her dark brown eyes friendly.

“Heda let it be known that your meeting has to be rescheduled to tomorrow” she proclaimed in heavily accented English and brought a tray with dinner with her into the chambers.

Monty nodded with a slight frown. The next meeting between all the ambassadors and the commander had been scheduled for tomorrow as well and although he felt slightly uneasy at the prospect of speaking with the formidable commander on his own, he had still hoped to get some valuable tips from the young leader. The prospect of facing the ambassadors without any kind of briefing made him even more nervous. Monty knew that he was lacking any political skills and he expected the other ambassadors to test him soon. His worry must have been plainly written on his features as the handmaid turned and smiled reassuringly at him.

“The commander will meet you before the official gathering between the other ambassadors” the girl reassured in a calm tone.

Monty nodded breathing a silent sigh of relieve. Until now Monty had not left his assigned quarters without the company of Clarke and he had no real clue if he was allowed to move freely through the capitol. But it was still relatively early and he did not wish to spend the remainder of the day alone with his thoughts in this room so he stopped the girl from leaving and asked if he was allowed to leave this quarters. The girl who he now remembered was named Kitara but looked rather perplexed at the question. Monty internally hoped he had not already offended the girl or by extension the commander and quickly asked where he might find Clarke.

“Eat” Kitara ordered stepping over to the door and before she slipped through the opening she said over her shoulder “I will collect you in a candle mark and bring you to Wanheda”. 

Monty nodded in silent thanks; he had learned already that Grounders did not care for exclamations of gratitude and Kitara had looked at him strangely when he had thanked her for bringing breakfast after obviously being startled by his words. He knew he would probably need a long time to try to adopt to their customs.

While he ate his dinner Monty wondered if he could ask Kitara for some pointers. He did not wish to accidentally insult someone because of ignorance. He had no idea what time span a candle actually was so he ate his dinner quickly and eagerly awaited the return of the handmaid; he would need to ask her about that as well.

When the brunette girl finally returned to his chambers Monty searched for words for a moment although he had already outlined what he had wanted to ask of her in the last hour; now he was still lost for words.

Kitara waited for the Skykru ambassador to follow her but it was obvious he wanted to say something so she waited patiently for him to make up his mind.

“Can I ask you something?” Monty finally settled on with a friendly but shaky smile.

“You already did” Kitara shot back with a teasing glint in her dark eyes but she nodded with a smile tugging at her lips.

Monty opened and closed his mouth mutely for a moment, internally perplexed at the girl’s banter. Somehow he had not expected to be met with humour at all.

In the end the handmaid proved to be very helpful. Kitara explained that all ambassadors who did not bring their handmaiden which many actually did, were assigned one by the commander. The girl immediately agreed to try to teach him their language, customs and some knowledge about the different clans in the coalition.

Clarke on the other hand did not really have that much time to spend with him. It was obvious the blonde girl had found what she truly wished to do by helping the healers around the tower. With the sudden cold season many people had fallen ill in the capitol and Monty randomly ran into Clarke on the streets of Polis. Kitara had consented to show him the city and Clarke helped with doing house visits to sick people being shadowed by a guard.

Raven had been able to replicate another radio which had a long range, so that he was now able to keep in contact with Arkadia and he had spoken with the council just before he was called to the commander. Markus had relayed that their people had accepted his placement as chancellor and that as a sign of their good will the council had decided together to destroy half of their weaponry now.

The first private meeting with the commander had Monty on edge and Kitara tried to reassure him that there was no reason to be nervous, assuring him that Lexa was known as one of the wisest and the most controlled commanders they ever had. It was obvious to him that the handmaid was deeply loyal to her leader and seemed to admire Lexa greatly.

Monty was surprised to see Marie standing next to the throne when he was called into the throne room for his private audience. He knew that the meeting with the other ambassadors would take place immediately after and he desperately tried to school his features and hide his nervousness.

He shortly smiled back at Marie who also smiled at him in silent greeting before Monty turned his dark eyes solely to the commander. The woman sat on her throne with a rigid back and unreadable features and Monty was internally impressed by the powerful picture she gave even though he knew she could only be a few years older than him.

He had no idea how he should be able to hold his ground among the other ambassadors who were all experienced warriors and many years older than him.

“Monty from the Sky people” the commander addressed him in a firm tone and he inclined his head slightly to indicate he was listening. “You will need to treat carefully with the other ambassadors, they will be waiting for you to show weakness and strike when you expect it the least”.

Monty nodded with a mute sigh, he had already expected as much. “The council has decided to already destroy half of our weaponry now, as a sign of good will” he said trying to keep his voice as steady as possible “And Kane reported that our people seem content to accept him as chancellor and with the joining to the coalition, commander”.

He was unable to decipher from the young woman’s expression if she was pleased at the news or not as her expression did not seem to change at all as she inclined her head mutely. Monty tried to keep from fidgeting under the commander’s intense silent stare.

“It is my understanding that you did not receive any kind of tutelage in politics” the commander said after a heavy moment of silence.

“No, I did not” Monty immediately agreed but he added quickly “But I am sure I will be able to learn”. He was aware that he needed to remain in the commander’s good graze if Skykru wanted to have a chance at survival.

“We shall see” the commander commented ominously “We will meet every few days if I have time so I can offer some help in political questions”.

Monty blinked up at the commander with a surprised expression; he had truly not anticipated that the woman would offer him aid and he guessed the woman must be very busy so he knew it was a great honour. After a long silent moment Monty gathered himself and hastily thanked the commander for her offer and he thought to see amusement flash over her impassive face before she nodded and called out to the guards that the meeting could now officially begin.

Monty straightened his shoulders consciously and stepped back from the throne to stand in front of the chair assigned to Skykru now. He had been asked in the morning if they had a symbol yet for their clan and he had watched how a flag was painted after his instructions. The flag now hung over his chair, as all the other chairs were indicated by the symbols of the different clans of the coalition as well.

He had described a structure formed out of three pointed ellipses overlapping each other which now resembled the shape of a rocket. As they had lived in space a rocket had fitted and the drawing was crude enough to be easily explained.

The other ambassadors had obviously already waited in front of the grand doors and quickly filed into the throne room. When all had entered the throne room, everyone fell to their knees in unison in front of the commander for a moment and Monty quickly followed their example, all too aware that most of the others had their eyes trained on him and were watching every move he made.

During the first part of the meeting Monty only listened intently to what was spoken. He had no idea if the meeting were always held in English or if the commander had switched to English so that he was able to understand what was said. He was glad Kitara had agreed to teach them their language as he did not wish to be an inconvenience.

He was startled slightly when the commander suddenly asked for news regarding Kane’s appointment as chancellor. But he quickly recovered and relayed again what he had already told the commander in private.

He tried to let his gaze travel over the other ambassadors while he spoke, unwilling to raise the impression that he wanted his people to remain isolated within the coalition.

Monty noted that most of the ambassadors openly glared at him in obvious distrust. But he could spot two or three faces which did not hold the same scorn and he kept his features calm and did not react to the open hate directed against him and his people.

He still did breathe easier once the conversation turned away from him and he caught the commander slightly inclining her head towards him which probably meant that he had not totally screwed up yet.

When the meeting finally came to an end the ambassadors left the throne room in little groups. It was obvious quickly which clans had the strongest ties to each other. Monty trailed behind them keeping a slight distance and he had the distinct feeling that at least part of them were probably already talking about him and Skykru as they immediately switched back to their mother tongue.

Monty was still relived that the first official meeting for him was over now without a total catastrophe. He smiled slightly when he spotted Kitara waiting for him. The girl had promised to show him to a tailor after telling him that his clothes were unacceptable for the weather.

“From which clan are you, Kitara?” Monty asked keeping his voice low and looking at the brunette girl inquiringly.

Kitara raised a brow in question “You can’t tell?” there seemed to be a teasing note to her voice.

Monty blinked at the girl in confusion and internally wondered how he should know. The only clan he could definitely identify was Ice Nation with their facial scars, but apart from that he was still pretty clueless.

“I am Trikru” the girl answered after a moment.

Monty nodded mutely unsure how he should have been able to recognize that. He could not see any obvious markings, scars or tattoos on her body.

“You truly need to teach me your language quickly” he said, changing the topic abruptly. He guesses that language skills should be his first priority right now. He could not expect everyone to talk English for his sake and he already knew that a lot of the people who had not chosen the path of a warrior did in fact not speak English at all.

_“You will learn soon enough”_ Kitara said with a playful glint to her dark eyes.

Monty slightly cocked his head to the side before he shook his head. His lips were tilted into a smile as he joked “You could have just insulted me without me knowing at all”.

Kitara nodded with a smirk on her face “Do not worry, I did not, but you are right, you need to learn Trigedasleng quickly”.

He was thankful for Kitara’s presence as the tailor did not speak English at all. The tailor was a broad shouldered man with reddish hair woven into a few long braids and a long beard which was also braided. He had kind dark eyes and it was obvious Kitara knew him personally. They spoke so quickly with each other that Monty did not even manage to catch the man’s name.

Kitara had to ask him twice to step onto a stool as he had not caught on with the switch in her language instantly. With a slight uncomfortable blush Monty did as he was asked and waited patiently for the man to take his measures.

With a frown Monty watched the man search through piles of clothes and turned to Kitara subtly. He had no idea of which system the grounders used to trade. He did neither possess any money, although he wondered if they even used a currency, nor did he have anything valuable to trade with.

“I do not have any money or something to trade” he addressed Kitara lowly.

But the girl just slightly shook her head “The commander will take care of it”.

“Is it normal for the commander to pay for stuff for the ambassadors?” Monty wondered still frowning.

“If it is necessary” Kitara commented and added after a moment “I am sure you will find a way to pay her back”. There was a suggestive smirk on the young woman’s face and Monty’s eyes widened.

He could not help his mind as it came up with a picture of the commander ordering sexual favours from him and he could feel the blood draining from his face. Monty frantically wondered if the handmaid was messing with him, but Kitara’s face was blank.

His turmoil must have been visible on his face because a moment later the girl bust out into a bout of loud laughter. “I was joking” Kitara reassured and Monty felt relieve coursing through his mind. “Heda has never allowed any of her many suitors to warm her bed”.

Monty wondered if many people had offered to lay with the young commander; the woman was obviously attractive so he thought it likely. He also wondered if something similar might have occurred on the Ark, but he highly doubted it. The position of the chancellor was truly not comparable to the grounder commander.

He had been so focused on Kitara that Monty had not noticed how many of the vendors and people walking through the market kept taxing him with suspicious glares. But as he looked around now he could spot all the eyes following him.

Kitara had obviously caught up to his changed mood and the young woman frowned slightly at the people walking bye meeting their gazes unfazed. “Wanheda should have returned to the tower now” she proclaimed and Monty immediately followed her, glad to get away from all those prying eyes.

The handmaid brought him to the top floor of the tower. The top floor only had a few doors and two of them were guarded. Monty had already heard that the commander resided on this floors but he had not known that Clarke’s quarters were here as well.

Kitara left him in front of the doors after he told him that she would come to escort him back to his quarters later, when they could start with him learning Trigedasleng.

He felt suddenly nervous now faced with the prospect of finally speaking alone with Clarke. After what had happened at the Mountain there had not been a single moment where they had been able to talk alone. Monty knew how deeply guilty Clarke felt even though he had been the one to make the programming. Without him Clarke would not have been able to eradicate the Mountain Men. He tried not to ponder on what he had done, aware that they would have never been able to save their people otherwise.

Clarke was sitting on her bed probed up against the headboard with a large book on her knees which she promptly closed when Monty entered.

He smiled slightly at her noting the exhaustion of her features and the paleness of her skin.

“How did the first meeting go?” the blonde girl asked sitting up straighter.

It was obvious to Monty that she probably feared that he had come to ask her to take up the post as ambassador. “I think rather well” he answered after a moment and he could hear her exhale loudly in relieve.

After another moment Monty stared intently at Clarke and said “You know, you are not the only one who feels guilty for the Mountain”. Even though he had not left his people like Clarke had, he was also haunted by nightmares. When he was awake he avoided thinking about it all together, but at night that was impossible.

Clarke looked rather startled before she shook her head and an almost bitter expression showed on her face “You did what I asked you for and I irradiated level 5”.

Monty stepped closer to the bed and sat down directly facing Clarke. He took her hands into his and squeezed them before he argued “You could not have irradiated level 5 without my programming. You may have pulled the lever, but I made it possible. You have nothing more to feel guilty than me”.

“And do you?” Clarke’s voice was distant and almost hollow.

Monty sighed heavily “We did what he had to do to save our friends, Clarke. We had no different choice and it does not help either of us if we feel guilty for what we had to do. The Mountain is destroyed. We might never be able to wash our hands clean off their blood, but our people have a chance to survive now. We need to survive, or we will have killed the Mountain Men in vain.”


	127. Chapter 127

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 126  
> A POV change to Monty and his first day as an ambassador.

Chapter 127

Now that Marie had taken up her training again, the days seemed to pass quicker than ever. The commander and Anya kept their word and she was always with one of them. Marie still regarded the meetings with the ambassadors as boring and she had her difficulties to sit or stand through them and not showing her boredom.

Lexa had started to take Marie with her to the early morning training sessions she now held with the nightblood children. Marie had a hard time trying to match any of their skills and it was plainly obvious that she would need a long time to catch up with them. She mostly trained together with Nymo and Marie was aware that the boy was holding back for her sake. The commander had not called him out on that yet thankfully.

Ontari was still not part of the morning training sessions but the Ice Nation nightblood was included now in every theoretical lessons, where none of them were carrying weapons, making it harder for her to try to harm the other novitiates. All of them were still openly suspicious against Ontari and Marie had taken to sitting next to her as a matter of course.

The older girl had looked at her strangely when Marie had sat down next to her the next time they saw each other after Marie’s breakdown. But neither of them had said anything, Marie had only smiled slightly and the matter was dropped between them. Ontari internally wondered why the blonde girl would still sit next to her after openly showing her weakness, but the girl did not seem ashamed or anything.

After a week of the theoretical lessons Lexa had asked Titus to also bring Ontari to the training sessions in the morning. They had increased the number of guards and Titus had remained there as well, keeping a close eye on Ontari during the whole training. Ontari had proven quickly that she was superior in combat skills compared to the oldest nightbloods, but the girl had fought fairly and not wounded one of the other novitiates inordinately. So the dwindling trust Lexa was extending to the Ice Nation girl was steadily growing now.

If Marie was not with Lexa with the nightblood children or in one of her many daily meetings, the girl was on the training pits with Anya. The general was still occupied with training the private unit for the commander and also had to assess the guards posted around the capitol.

Marie was usually so exhausted in the evenings when they finally returned to the commander’s chambers that the girl would promptly fall asleep during dinner. If she was allowed to take a bath Anya or Lexa would regularly check that the girl had not drowned by falling asleep in the water. Due to her bone deep exhaustion the girl’s nightmares started to subdue slowly; she only woke up briefly during the nights and was quickly calmed down again settling between both of them. Anya or Lexa still massaged an oil into her skin at the end of the day and if Marie had not fallen asleep before, she would under the gentle administration. But the oil was effective enough in combination with the massage to avoid the girl’s muscle hurt and cramp as they developed and strengthened quickly now under the constant training.

Contact between Clarke and the commander had been rare. They mostly only saw each other in passing in the halls of the tower and barely spoke with each other. But Lexa had noted that Clarke seemed to improve slowly and the haunted look in her blue eyes diminished some more with every day that passed.

The ambassadors seemed rather satisfied at the moment. All of them were still suspicious of Monty but the young Skykru man had proven himself. He had not raised to single of their taunts and always remained calm and polite. He had even managed to convince the Desert Clan to send healers to Arkadia in the upcoming fall to learn under Abby. The Desert Clan suffered the most under infant mortality.

Octavia’s bonding would take place in three days and the three weeks had passed in a blur of training and meetings. More snow had fallen and most of Polis was buried under a deep layer of the white snow. Anya had been correct in her prediction and Marie had lost most of her fascination with the weather phenomenon.

Risha who had had quiet the growth spurt was still happily jumping into every snow pile the wolf could find and was Marie’s constant shadow at the moment, accompanying her to every training, only in the meetings the wolf now preferred to roam the tower or the streets on her own. Anya had successfully started to train the wolf with little orders, forbidding her to jump onto the bed with wet fur or ordering her to wait at the fire when they ate, efficiently stopping her begging for food.

Marie had still not gotten used to being woken before sunrise and always needed a few moments to wake up before she finally slipped from the bed. All three of them had gotten into the routine that Lexa would be the first to rise from the bed and get ready for the bed, with Anya following her when the commander returned from the bathroom.

After Anya stepped out of the bathroom with her hair still damp, she gently shook Marie awake. While Anya and Lexa both awoke from even the faintest sounds, Marie seemed to have gotten more resistant to sounds and usually had to be physically shaken to wake up.

The girl blinked her grey eyes open sleepily and stretched under the furs, smiling up slightly at Anya. Marie’s brows furrowed slightly when she noted that Anya was not wearing her usual training armour and a quick glance to Lexa showed that the commander had not dressed for training either.

“No training today?” she asked sitting up on the bed and flexing her arms, which had become noticeably muscular.

“No” Lexa answered instead of Anya “The Skykru which will attend the bonding ceremony will arrive shortly”.

Marie nodded with a light frown. She knew that they would not have a clear time when they would arrive, so she expected them to probably have to wait outside for quite some time.

“When will the bonding take place?” Marie asked again and yawned wholeheartedly. Risha jumped onto the bed to greet her human and Marie shrieked with laughter when the wolf licked her face enthusiastically.

“In three days from now” Anya commented, her lips pressed into a thin line at the wolf’s antics and Marie quickly tried to shove Risha down from her body and stood from the bed.

“You will spent the day with the nightbloods” Lexa proclaimed and Marie immediately frowned.

When the Skykru delegation arrived part of the bonding ceremonies would already start. Octavia had wanted to have a few of the customs of her own people, which would be integrated into the actual bonding. But usually the bonding took place after a big hunt, bringing in game for the festive. The bonded couple would precede the rest of the warriors, showing if they worked well together and were able to kill something significant alone.

After Clarke had spoken yesterday with Anya and made it quite clear that the healer thought they were exhausting Marie way too much at the moment, they had agreed to let the girl stay in the capitol. The blonde healer had tried to explain that the girl did not get enough sleep and way too much strain on her body and that her pneumonia had only healed a few weeks ago, weakening her body still. Anya did not try to argue with the healer that Marie was obviously totally fine again; no one else knew of Marie’s healing talent yet and they wished to keep it that way. But the weather had picked up again and it looked like a storm might be coming their way, so they both agreed it would be saver to leave Marie behind in Polis.

Lexa explained to Marie that there was going to be a hunt which might take them nearly up to the actual ceremony depending on how far from Polis they would venture.

“But can’t I come with you?” the girl asked in a pleading tone giving her best innocent look to the commander.

Lexa sighed audibly, but Anya quickly cut in before Lexa could concede “No, you are going to stay here. And now get ready” she ordered in a strict tone that left no room for arguments.

The girl visibly deflated and went into the bathroom with a pout on her lips. It was obvious she was not satisfied to be left back in the city again.

“She might end up with Roan again” Anya mused teasingly when the girl was out of earshot.

“At least we would know where to look for her now” Lexa shot back with a straight look and a raised brow answering the friendly banter.

Marie was obviously sulking when she returned from the bathroom and a pout was on her face permanently right now. Anya looked at the girl with strong eyes, obviously displeased with the way their charge was acting at the moment. But Lexa shook her head, halting the reprimand Anya wanted to snap out. They had not been separated since Marie had been abducted from Polis by Ontari and Lexa had not expected their charge to take the news well.

The breakfast was a quick and silent affair. Alira had come inside the commander’s chambers and braided Lexa’s and Marie’s hair quickly.

When they left the commander’s quarters together with Risha trailing behind Marie, they met Clarke and Monty coming from the blonde’s quarters. Marie was still obviously sulking after her last attempt at trying to get Lexa to change her mind had been come to a halt by Anya, promising her a punishment if she did not stop immediately.

“They will arrive soon” Monty addressed the commander “Kane just radioed in”.

Lexa nodded in silent acknowledgment. Monty eyed the wolf next to Marie with obvious respect. Risha still was not grown to her full size and the playfulness had remained in the young animal, but she was no small cub anymore either. When the snow melted the wolf would be fully grown, it would still not be a mature wolf for another two to three years though. Monty had of course already seen the light wolf trailing behind Marie but he had not been near to the animal and he guessed it would probably have wickedly sharp teeth.

It was snowing already when they stepped outside of the tower. Indra was already waiting for them together with Octavia and Lincoln. The dark haired girl was obviously nervous about what would happen now. Clarke and Monty had both spoken with her and convinced her that she should give Bellamy a chance and invite him. Bellamy had asked constantly over the radio to speak with Octavia but the girl had denied him every time.

Marie pulled the heavy cloak tighter around her herself to fend off some of the cold wind. Looking at the way the weather had turned again the prospect of staying in the tower did not look as badly anymore to the girl and the pout left her face.

Marie followed behind Lexa who was flanked by Gustus and Ryder. Anya walked beside their charge and watched how Clarke seemed to continue to glance at Lexa, who was completely oblivious to that. When they arrived at the gates to Polis the sun had just ascended and they stood waiting for the Skykru delegation in near silence.

Clarke and Monty were arguing with Octavia that going on a hunt with Lincoln alone was unwise in this conditions, but the brunette girl was steadfast that she wished to uphold the grounder tradition.

Marie looked to Anya and Lexa with worry in her grey eyes coming to the conclusion that something might happen to one of them as well. “Nothing will happen to us” Anya lowly reassured their charge with kind brown eyes. Despite the warm clothes Marie quickly felt the coldness seeping through, she had gotten used to training outside but now standing still proved to be different.

Fortunately Monty had been correct and waiting for the rover to arrive at the gates of Polis did not take long, its roaring proclaiming its arrival long before it was visible. Marie could see Octavia tensing and Lincoln putting a steadying hand on her shoulder to calm her.

Kane and Abby had come as representatives of the council and the chancellor had always been the one to hold wedding ceremonies on the Ark. Bellamy, Raven and Harper had come as friends for Octavia.

The commander stepped forward and officially welcomed the small group into the capitol and she spoke a few words with Markus and Abby before she stepped again. Marie internally grumbled what had been the whole sense in all of them coming to the gates if that had been the whole welcome. She obediently followed Anya’s orders to come back to the tower immediately after.

On the way to the tower Marie could hear Bellamy trying to talk with Octavia but it was clear that the mood between them was rather tense. She thought that the young man sounded genuine in his declaration to be happy for his little sister. It was still obvious that he was not pleased to hear that the pair of them would be gone from the capitol for at least the next two days to prove their worth in a hunt.

“When are you going to leave?” Marie asked when they finally reached tower.

“Now” Lexa answered curtly and gently squeezed the girl’s shoulder, her green eyes were sharp when she said “Titus will keep an eye on you during our absence. You are to obey him as if he was Anya or I”.

Marie nodded with a slightly miserable expression. The last time the both of them had left to a hunt they had promised to return before nightfall and had come back in the middle of the night; now she already knew they were not expected to arrive for around two days and with the weather she thought it might still happen that something would halt them even further.

She watched with a sinking heart how Octavia and Lincoln mounted their horses which had been brought to the tower. Anya also squeezed her shoulder and lowly said “Behave”. Marie pouted slightly but she nodded mutely.

Titus had come out of the tower and stepped up next to Marie shortly glancing down at the blonde girl with an unreadable expression before he watched the commander mount her own horse and the other warriors who would accompany them got on their own mounts.

Clarke and Monty were speaking with the Skykru delegation and Alira offered to show them to the quarters which had been prepared for their stay in the tower.

“Come” Titus addressed the girl in a clipped tone and barely waited a moment before he turned around and swept back into the tower. Marie hurried behind the flamekeeper with slightly dropped shoulders. She still had not found any liking for the bald man and she hoped she would be spending more time with the novitiates than actually in his presence.

“You can move through the tower freely” he said with hard eyes. Titus had no intention to actually function as babysitter for the girl. “You will share all your meals with the conclave. You will sleep with them and you will attend all their lessons” the flamekeeper continued.

Marie nodded with an unsure expression, it only dawned on her now that neither Anya nor Lexa would be there for at least two nights and she had no idea how she would be able to sleep without them. She was not sure if she should be grateful to sleep with the other nightblood children which meant she would not be completely alone or if that would not help at all.

The flamekeeper escorted Marie to the floor which housed the conclave and left the girl in front of the door. The older novitiates were outside on the training pits doing their morning session under the supervision of another flamekeeper, while the younger ones were still in their quarters waiting for the other lessons to start.

Marie slipped through the doors and shortly watched Titus leave the corridor with his robes swishing behind him. With a frown she thought that the man direly needed to laugh and lose the permanent frown etched onto his features.

Kyla, Ryno and Boo were already awake and dressed. Boo had stopped trying to escape the tower after what had happened with Ontari and he had started to form friendships with the other children, slowly settling into life as a novitiate.

Marie smiled softly at all three of them and smirked when the younger kids immediately stood up to greet Risha as well, the wolf visibly enjoyed the attention.

“When will the others come back?” she asked and sat on a stool at the large table. It was obvious the younger children were waiting for breakfast to be served.

“Soon” Ryno said “I am hungry so they should hurry”.

Marie giggled slightly at the comment; she doubted that would have any impact on the length of the training for the others.

Fortunately it truly did not take long for the rest of the novitiates to return. Nymo was sporting a black eye and a split lip and he was grumbling that Kato had fought unfairly against him. Lexa had let her fight only once against him and he had not held back one bit.

“How long are you staying with us?” Saria asked as she sat down next to Marie, while the doors opened again and handmaidens brought in breakfast.

Marie shrugged slightly feeling her smile slip from her face as she answered “I don’t know, until Anya and Lexa return from their hunt”.

“So there is really going to be a bonding between a Trikru and a Skykru?” Kato interjected with a frown on his features.

Marie nodded and tilted her head to the side “Yeah, but what is so special about that?” she asked back.

It was Aden who answered her “Bondings between people from different clans are nearly unheard of. The clans have been fighting for so long with each other that a romantic relationship would have resembled a betrayal to your own clan.”

Marie blinked in confusion, she not thought about what a bonding between warring clans would mean. But she remembered that Lexa had told her that the coalition like it existed now had taken years to be built and was still relatively new.

“What does happen at a bonding ceremony?” she asked keeping eye contact with Aden.

The blonde boy explained “The ceremony would usually be held by the village chief. If it is a really significant bond the commander can also hold the ceremony. It is a pledge of two souls to each other and after some words the bonded pair gets a matching tattoo to signify their connection. It usually involves a huge festive. You have already heard about the hunt before the actual ceremony.”

Marie nodded. She knew that on the Ark weddings had been rather small affairs and were only attended by those really close to the couple. The chancellor would guide the ceremony and a paper was signed. If the couple was able to afford rings or still had them from previous generations wedding bands were exchanged and she thought that there was no real gathering afterwards with how thin their resources had been.

She watched the others eat their breakfast and only drank a cup of tea. Marie sighed lowly, she wished there was a possibility to make the time pass faster somehow. 


	128. Chapter 128

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 127  
> A traditional hunt takes place before the bonding of Lincoln and Octavia. Marie stays in Polis with the novitiates.

 Chapter 128

The first day had passed much more quickly than Marie had anticipated. The other children had managed successfully to distract her from missing Lexa and Anya.

But now the sun was setting and it was time to go to bed. Marie’s mood had soured instantly when Aden, who usually kept some order among the novitiates, proclaimed that the day was over now and it was time to rest.

She followed the other children into the huge dorm they all shared. The room looked cosy and Nimo offered to let her sleep in his bed with him; Marie reluctantly nodded not mustering a smile.

Alira had brought a pile of clothes for Marie down from the commander’s chambers and the girl got ready for bed with the other children. When she slipped out of her shirt she heard Thalu exhale surprised.

“Your tattoo is really impressive” the girl explained still looking at Marie’s back.

“And you already have two kill marks” June commented stepping up next to Thalu.

When the others who had heard the girls’ words also stepped closer to Marie, the girl blushed strongly and quickly pulled the lose shirt she wore to sleep over her head covering her back in the process. Marie crossed her arms over her chest defensively and sat down on the edge of Nimo’s bed, hoping that the others would stop looking at her like that. She did not enjoy being in the centre of attention like that.

Nimo shooed the others away from his bed when he returned from the bathroom and Marie gave him a small thankful smile in response. She was nervous at the prospect of having to sleep now and she did not feel nearly as exhausted as she usually did after training first with Lexa and then with Anya.

Nimo’s bed was much smaller than the commander’s and Marie tried to keep to her side of the mattress. Just as she had feared, sleep evaded her completely. The sounds of the others breathing sounded awfully loud to her ears and every step of the guards outside of the corridor alerted her again. Marie tried hard to get her breathing to calm and fall asleep but no matter how hard she tried, she could not calm her racing heart.

The boy lying next to her in the bed had fallen asleep some time ago and judging from the lack of movement from the others Marie judged that most, if not all of them, had already drifted off. She could even hear light snoring coming from Aden and Kato’s beds.

Marie waited for some time more and when she still could not fall asleep she carefully slipped from the bed again. Although the floor was ice cold against her feet she did not slip on her boots so that she could walk over the floor silently.

The guards outside of the door to the chambers of the novitiates nodded to her and one asked where she planned to go.

Tears were gathering in her grey eyes and she swallowed hard to prevent them from falling. “You do want to go into the commander’s chambers?” the same guard checked and when the girl nodded with a miserable expression, the young man sighed under his breath and offered his hand to the obviously upset child.

The commander had briefed them before leaving the capitol that the girl was to be allowed to leave this floor and return to their quarters if she wished but a guard was to stand post then. The numbers of guards who watched over the conclave were always increased during times of absence from the commander, so he could escort the girl to the top floor and stay with her there.

Marie did not meet the man’s eyes when she took his offered hand and she sniffled slightly during the ride of the elevator. She breathed slightly easier once she stepped into the chambers she had become so used to.

The pillows on the bed still held the scents of Anya and Lexa. Marie placed her head on Lexa’s pillow, inhaling her calming scent deeply while she clutched Anya’s pillow to her chest with silent tears trailing down her cheeks.

Marie had cried herself to a restless sleep some time later. Her dreams quickly turned into nightmares. She imagined Lexa and Anya on the hunt, running into a pauna and she watched how they were thrown against a cliff by the beast, smashing their bodies instantly.

With a loud piercing scream the girl woke from her nightmare, her breathing erratic and it took her a moment to realize where she was. When the bed was still empty around her, the girl only cried harder in despair.

Clarke was awoken by a piercing shrill scream from her own restless sleep. Although her own nightmares were mostly kept at bay by the sleeping aid the commander had supplied her with, Laurel had warned her not to solely relay on the tonic, so that she tried to only take it every other night. Alarmed that something might have happened Clarke stood from her bed and looked out into the corridor trying to see who had screamed. The blonde noted that a guard stood post at the commander’s chambers although she knew that the woman and her general were not in the capitol. She thought she could hear the sounds of crying from the commander’s chambers and Clarke concluded that Marie might be in the room on her own.

Clarke had heard the handmaidens gossiping between each other how uncommon it was that the general and the commander’s second seemed to now permanently reside in the commander’s chamber and she had seen first-hand that the young girl seemed to rely heavily on one of the other women to rest and calm her after her nightmares, so being alone right now could not be easy on her.

The guard seemed torn if he should go into the chambers and offer some words of comfort or not, when Clarke hesitantly stepped closer. She had not been exceptionally close to Marie during the short time the girl had been part of the 100, but she did not wish to ignore her obvious despair either. The young man let Wanheda into the commander’s chambers willingly.

The room was totally dark and cold as the fire had not been stocked. Clarke stopped on the door step and asked the guard if he could start a fire and light some of the candles. The girl probably knew the room well enough to not have needed any light to navigate in the commander’s chambers but Clarke was afraid she would just bump into furniture without any light source. The man nodded mutely and took a torch from the corridor inside and quickly lighted a few candles and lastly stocked the fire, he hoped the girl would not fall sick again or the carelessness of not doing so before would fall back on him.

When some light flooded through the vast room Clarke could easily spot Marie lying on the large bed with a pillow clutched to her chest and sobbing under her breath. The girl was pale and she seemed exhausted so Clarke judged she had not slept long at all. Her grey eyes looked huge in her face and were swimming in tears.

“You had a nightmare, didn’t you?” she asked the younger girl in a gentle tone and sat down on the edge of the bed while the guard left the chambers again closing the doors behind him softly.

Marie nodded with a miserable expression and told Clarke interrupted by heavy sobs about her nightmare where both Anya and Lexa had been killed effortlessly by a pauna. Clarke looked down at the girl with a sad expression, she had placed a hand on the girl’s shaking shoulder but she had not pulled her into a hug. She still vividly remembered the roaring of the pauna and how one of Lexa’s guards had been killed in exactly the same way as the girl had dreamed.

“I do not think they would venture into the territory of such a beast, Marie” she tried to reassure the upset girl. Marie looked anything but convinced and was still crying softly, wishing both of her mentors back to her side.

Clarke tried for a few minutes to reason with the girl that the commander and her general were not alone in the woods and both experienced hunters which would not die in a hunt. But the blonde healer knew that she should not make promises like that to the girl. When her words failed to have any noticeable effect on the girl, Clarke tried to remember the melody she had heard Lexa hum to the girl first in the medical bay of Arkadia and later here.

She doubted she got the melody correctly one hundred percent but the girl looked up with a slightly startled expression in her grey eyes before her breathing notably calmed somewhat again.

After a few moments of silence where Clarke just repeated the melody Marie interrupted her “You are doing a part wrong” the girl complained and Clarke listened with an amused glint in her blue eyes how the melody was supposed to be according to Marie.

She tried to mimic the hummed melody as best as she could and watched as the girl laid down again still sniffling slightly and clutching the pillow tighter to her chest. Clarke had not expected Anya to heed her advice and leave their second behind in the safety of the tower and now seeing the girl so obviously miserable and missing her mentors, Clarke doubted speaking up had been the right choice. But she had seen how tired the girl had seemed every time she had met her in the halls over the last weeks after they had taken up her training again.

Clarke kept on humming the melody softly until she was absolutely sure that Marie had drifted off to sleep again. She internally contemplated if she should just leave the girl on her own, but she doubted it would be the last nightmare disturbing her sleep for the night.

Clarke doubted it would be appropriate for her to sleep in the commander’s bed, even if she just wanted to help the young girl. So she retreated to one of the sofas and took a fur to vent of the coldness of the room; the fire would need some time until it had managed to heat the room to a comfortable temperature again.

Clarke’s prediction about Marie’s nightmares became true only slightly later and Clarke was occupied during the rest of the night to calm Marie down every time a nightmare pulled her from her sleep again and the blonde healer felt completely exhausted when the sun finally rose and Alira brought breakfast into the chambers. The handmaid had been told that the girl had left the dorm of the conclave and returned to the commander’s chambers in the middle of the night. The woman had argued with Titus to let the girl sleep as the flamekeeper had wanted to have the girl summoned down for training with the older novitiates before dawn.

Clarke was startled awake by Alira walking through the rooms and tiredly rubbed at her eyes. Marie also woke up promptly and it was obvious she was still feeling miserable judging from her expression.

“I will have a bath prepared for you” the older handmaid said to Marie with a soft smile and left the room again.

Marie sat up in the bed and her expression became guilty when she realized that Clarke had stayed with her the whole night. “I am sorry for disturbing you” the girl said honestly, her grey eyes downcast on the floor.

“It is alright, Marie” Clarke reassured the girl, straightening her spine with a crack.

But Marie slightly shook her head “Lexa said not to disturb you”.

Clarke frowned slightly, surprised at the order “When has she told you that?” She had already been informed that Lexa had efficiently kept her people from seeking her out when she wished to be left alone and now she wondered just how far the commander’s “protection” reached.

“I told her that I went to you when I was bored, but that you also did not wish to go out into the snow” the girl retold honestly and it was obvious she had not wished to go against the commander’s words. “Lexa said that you wanted to be left alone and that I should honour your wishes” Marie added after a moment.

Clarke slightly shook her head “You did not seek me out this time, Marie. So you have done nothing wrong. I came here to offer you some company. And you may seek me out if you wish”.

Marie still looked rather unsure but she nodded subtly. Alira returned into the commander’s quarters in that moment and was accompanied by other handmaidens carrying in buckets filled with hot water. Marie quickly ate some of her breakfast and enjoyed the warmth of the bath once it was prepared; the warm water mixed with some herbs helped to sooth her even further and she smiled slightly when she returned from the bath.

Alira had remained behind to braid Marie’s hair once she finished and had spoken with Clarke. The blonde healer was eating some of the breakfast after some coaxing of the handmaid.

Marie looked out of the window and frowned slightly when she realized that dawn must have happened some time ago “I was supposed to train with the others” she remarked with a pout.

Alira shook her head and told the girl that Titus had been informed that she would not take part in this training. The handmaid had no idea why the flamekeeper was so against the blonde child. She had gotten to know the girl as an absolutely sweet child which was truly easy to like. But that was probably the main problem; the flamekeeper regarded the girl as too soft and the connection she shared with Lexa would be much too deep for his liking.

“If you do not wish to take part in the lessons or the training of the novitiates, you will not have to” Alira proclaimed in a resolute tone. The flamekeeper had just wanted to include the girl so that watching her would not mean any extra effort from his part.

“Oh okay” the girl remarked obviously rattled by the decision. “Can I go outside?” she asked uncertainly.

“If a guard accompanies you, yes” Alira agreed while she finished the girl’s braids.

“I will return to the healers now” Clarke said after she had finished her breakfast and smiled slightly at Marie, the girl waved her goodbye with a smile of her own.

Alira was called away to settle a dispute in the kitchens which left Marie on her own again. She knew that the novitiates would probably be having breakfast now, or pretty soon, and afterwards they had a theoretical lesson scheduled in the library in English first. As she had grown up with English she had found this lesson in particular boring. She wondered if she would be allowed to visit Ontari or Roan, but she guessed that the guards would not let her enter, if she was not allowed to, so she would just test it. She could still return to the commander’s quarters and continue reading before the novitiates would be having lessons in which she was actually interested.

To her surprise no one stopped her on her way to the floor where the political prisoners were housed. Now that she had lived for weeks in the tower Marie wondered why she had noticed the increased number of guards on this floor before.

Marie still remembered the way to the small room in which Roan resided and the guards merely watched her mutely when she knocked on his door politely.

The doors opened quickly and Roan looked surprised to see her in front of it, but his blue eyes were kind as he recognized the commander’s second.

“You have come to pay me a visit” the man drawled in an official sounding voice.

Marie giggled slightly as he asked “And what caused me to receive this honour?”

Marie just shrugged her shoulder with a light smile “I had not wanted to sit on to the English lesson the novitiates have now” she explained.

“So you have stolen away again?” Roan asked with a raised brow as he opened the door wider allowing the girl to slip inside.

“No” Marie disagreed immediately. She had not stolen away the last time either, she had merely not known that the hide and seek game was restricted to one floor.

The man nodded in understanding at the girl’s explanation.

“I don’t like snow anymore” the child commented as she nonchalantly sat on Roan’s bed.

The man raised a brow slightly at the girl; he had no idea what the commander and her general may have told her about him, but whatever it had been had obviously not left a lasting impression to distrust him judging from the way she behaved so trustingly around him now. The letter he had received from his mother and which rested in a pocket in his coat feeling heavy all of a sudden.

“Why not?” he asked keeping the conversation light. His mother was trying to get him to try to have the commander assassinated. The Ice queen had been less than pleased to learn that Ontari was now staying officially in Polis under Lexa’s orders. It had destroyed most of the plans she had had in place and she was using the cold season to try to spin new plans to dethrone the commander and have Ontari take her place. If she managed to have the commander eliminated he had no doubt that Ontari could win the conclave, even if she truly competed fairly he had heard that her skills in combat outclassed the other nightblood children by far.

But he also was aware that he would never get to be king of the Ice Nation if Ontari got the reign over the coalition, his mother would not willingly leave the throne and he still thought that Lexa might still be helpful for him in that regard.

“It is just so cold and wet” the girl complained and looked out of the window sullenly, where snowflakes were whipped around by a strong wind “And Anya says I can’t move on it yet”.

“You have not been born on the Ground” Roan commented “And you have not been taught by someone who grew up surrounded in it”.

“I guess so” Marie said after a moment.

“Have you trained on ice yet?” Roan asked. He had heard that the stream near Polis had finally frozen over completely.

The girl shook her head with a frown. Anya had said that they would be staying on the training pit. She had heard that some of the children residing in Polis were sort of skating over the ice for fun, but after what she heard from Lexa, she doubted the commander would allow her to join.

“Then I shall teach you” Roan offered lightly and held a hand to the girl to hoist her from the bed. Marie seemed to think for a moment if to take him up on the offer or not, but in the end she did reach out for his hand with a rather shy smile.

“Judging from the fact that you have not been raised to fight, I have heard that your skill are already impressive” Roan said on the way out of the hall. Two guards immediately followed them, but Roan did not pay them any mind; during the months he had spent in the tower he had gotten used to the guards following him around.

Marie’s cheeks were covered by a slight blush at the compliment but she still smiled slightly. She shivered immediately once they stepped outside of the tower. The wind had picked up and felt like cold whips on her exposed face.

Roan was much more used to such conditions and did not seem to mind the cold at all.

“It is so cold” Marie whined slightly pulling the cloak tighter around her small frame.

Roan frowned slightly down at her “You will get used to it. You need to ignore the cold. As long as you are still breathing and can move, everything is alright”.

Marie looked up at him with a dubious look, but the girl remained silent. Two more guards had fallen into step behind them without a word.


	129. Chapter 129

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 128  
> Marie cannot fall asleep in the dorm of the novitiates and returns to the commander’s chambers. Her nightmares still haunt her and Clarke spends the night with her. In the morning Marie visits Roan.

Chapter 129

The way to the frozen stream was not very long and they could already hear screeched laughter the nearer they came to it.

A variety of children and some younger teenagers were enjoying the frozen icy surface, making it a competition who could remain on their feet for longer before losing one’s balance and falling over.

A few warriors were also using the ice to train on the unusual territory. Roan spotted Echo among the training warriors, but the woman only looked up shortly. He still noticed her questioning frown at recognizing the commander’s second in his company.

It was obvious pretty quickly that Marie did not have any talent when it came to keeping her balance on the ice. Roan did not seem to have any problem at all while Marie kept on stumbling and Roan had to keep a hand on her shoulder or the girl would have already fallen down.

To Marie the ice felt actually pretty frightening, if she moved even a little everything became slippery.

Roan put both of his hands on her shoulders and forced her to remain standing still “Stop trying to move” he directed and when Marie obeyed he said “Now feel the ice beneath your feet before you do anything”.

“But it feels flat” Marie argued unable to understand what Roan meant at the moment.

“Right now, yes” Roan answered with a slight upturn of his lips “But now start to move your feet slowly and still keep a feeling for the ice beneath you” he directed carefully.

Marie tried to follow his orders but it still took her some time to even be able to take a few insecure steps without help from Roan.

Roan was patient in his teaching and waited quite a long time for Marie to catch on how to keep her balance. When she finally did her insecure expression was replaced with a bright smile and her grey eyes shone enthusiastically and twinkled with joy.

The girl’s laugh was bright and shrill when she finally joined the other children’s play. Roan watched the blonde girl play for some time. It astounded him how the girl seemed to not recognize how many of the other children were looking at her in a mixture out of awe and suspicion.

Echo had abandoned her training for now and came over to Roan, while the Ice Nation prince looked at the girl with kind eyes, the assassin’s light brown eyes were disdainful.

“She should train and not play” Echo commented her voice hard “She is as weak and soft as the rest of her people”.

Roan slightly shook his head in disagreement “She is certainly soft, but she is strong in another sense. A little bit of play won’t harm her.”

Echo rolled her eyes subtly “Why was she with you at all?”

“She visited me” Roan said and he could not totally mask the surprise from his tone.

“She trusts you” Echo concluded her eyes switching between the prince and the commander’s second and Roan could almost see the gears turning in the woman’s mind.

“Whatever you plan, keep her out of it” Roan cautioned the assassin. He knew that the girl had already been used in one assassination attempt and he doubted the child would be influenced this easily again before she spoke to the commander and the general. He did not wish for the girl to get in harm’s way and he had also recognized that if his mother and Ontari somehow succeeded the girl could remain as the new commander’s second. “Why don’t you show her how to fight on the ice?” he quickly diverted Echo’s attention when the woman narrowed her eyes sharply at him. Roan was still not sure about the depths of her loyalty, but he judged that at the moment if she was faced with the choice he would lose against his mother.

Echo’s eyes darkened considerably and when she made to move in the girl’s direction Roan stopped her with a hand on her elbow “And don’t kill her” he admonished “It will cost both of our heads if you kill the commander’s second in training”.

Roan had seen the protectiveness for Marie in both the commander and the general and he was absolutely sure that at least Echo would be executed if she accidentally killed the blonde girl in training. He asked the guards for training staffs, not willing to watch the assassin train the girl with an actual sharp weapon, although he was aware that a hard enough blow with a wooden staff to the right place could also be fatal.

The guards followed them on the ice, decreasing the distance to the girl. Marie looked up startled at Echo calling her over.

The girl’s grey eyes narrowed suspiciously and from the way she glanced to the guards first and then to Roan, the prince concluded that she had at least learnt to show some distrust. When he offered one of the staffs to the girl she cautiously took it looking up at him in question.

“Echo can train with you on the ice” Roan explained stepping closer to Marie. The girl’s grey eyes widened minutely and it was obvious she was rather reluctant to actually face the Ice Nation woman.

Marie actually felt her heart beat faster as she took the staff; she could still vividly remember the woman fighting against Anya and she knew both of them had been rather evenly matched in their skills. She knew that Anya and Lexa were holding back immensely when they trained with her and she did not know if this woman would hold back as well, otherwise she probably would not stand even a slim chance and would only end up hurt.

She also noted how the guards had stepped much closer and had their hands on the handles of their swords, ready to step in any moment if needed. Marie straightened her shoulders and schooled her features; she knew that if she ducked out now it would seem as if she was too afraid to even try.

So Marie turned around with a raised chin and held the staff protectively in front of her. She was still unprepared for the ferocity with which the woman attacked her and Marie crashed onto the ice surface hardly. The woman had not truly hit her hard but it had been enough for her to totally lose her balance. She had been startled by the speed Echo managed to maintain on the ice.

Marie stood up with a pained grimace after hitting a shoulder hard on the ice which proved to be harder than she had anticipated when falling onto it. She still faced the other woman again and got ready to defend herself again. But the same scene repeated itself three times before a female voice suddenly interrupted Marie facing the assassin again “She will never learn it that way”.

Marie whipped around and looked at Ontari with widened eyes. The Ice Nation nightblood also had a training staff in hand and from a cut on her forehead black blood was trickling down the left side of her face.

Titus stood a few feet away and was still training with Aden and Marie recognized Thalu and Kato training with each other next to them. She had not noticed them coming onto the frozen stream as well and wondered for how long they had been there.

Ontari moved behind Marie with ease and let her own staff fall to the ground and motioned for Echo to attack again. Marie was still slightly surprised by the older girl showing up and Ontari hastily gripped the girl’s staff bringing it up just in time to parry one of Echo’s blows. The force of the blow had Marie lean most of her weight against Ontari’s firm body behind her.

Even with Marie between them it was obvious quickly that Ontari would still manage to force Echo back. Without the girl hindering her movements she might have even won against the older woman with ease.

But Ontari was focusing more on trying to actually teach Marie on how to keep her footage. She had grown up with ice surrounding them and moving across it was as normal as breathing for her.

The assistance of Ontari had helped considerably, but Marie was under no illusion that she would be able to move like this without the older girl behind her, helping her keep her balance.

She was breathing hard when Titus finally stepped up to the group calling Ontari back rather harshly. His dark eyes were glittering angrily and he taxed Marie with a harsh glare “You should have been at the training in the morning” he reprimanded the girl.

Marie opened her mouth to retort something but Ontari gave her a subtle shove and shook her head that the girl should keep quite so Marie swallowed down her retort. She shortly glanced back at Roan but the man just nodded to her with a friendly expression and turned around with three of the guards back towards the tower, while Echo returned to the group of warriors she had trained with before.

Marie cautiously followed Ontari and Titus to the other three nightbloods. She kept an arm gingerly wrapped around her side. After she had fallen on her elbow crushing the limp against her rips in the process, Echo had hit the exact same spot twice and she was sure a large bruise was already forming on her side.

Titus ordered the children to resume their training and while he paired off Marie with Aden, he himself faced Ontari. Marie watched for a moment and winced in sympathy when the man hit the other girl hard making her stumble to her knees.

Aden lightly nudged her with his staff; he knew that the flamekeeper would only get angrier if they did not start training before he noticed that they were just watching. Marie nodded absent-minded and she was lucky Aden was also taking it really easy on her. So she had the actual opportunity to keep attention on her footing. Marie was still glad when Titus called an end to the training session and she felt her stomach rumble angrily. She had not eaten much for breakfast and it seemed that most the day had already passed; she had spent way longer with Roan than she had anticipated.

To her surprise Titus did not lead Ontari away immediately but had the older nightblood accompany them to the floor of the other novitiates. The younger ones had remained inside and had a little free time which they spent playing or reading.

All of them stopped what they were doing immediately when the group entered and the younger ones looked at Ontari with suspicious eyes moving closer together as they did.

Marie could hear Ontari snort lightly under her breath and the older girl rolled her eyes at the antics of the other novitiates.

Ontari watched how Titus turned around just as handmaidens entered the room bringing in dinner. She knew the younger children were rightfully suspicious of her, but she was also aware that she was being tested right now and she would not be dumb enough to try anything right now. She knew her time would come; she just had to be patient. Marie smiling slightly at her, made Ontari’s thoughts pause suddenly. She truly had no idea why the young girl was still this kind to her, she could only speculate on how the general and commander had probably briefed the girl to act around her. But she highly doubted they would have told her to remain friendly, which only allowed the conclusion that the girl’s kindness was genuine.

Titus even went so far as to leave. Ontari remained standing indecisively in front of the long table feeling the others taxing her with their stares.

Marie once again broke the tension by simply pulling on Ontari’s sleeve to make her sit down next to her. The older girl stared down for a moment into Marie’s light eyes as if searching for something and when she had found it she did sit down next to her in one graceful motion.

Marie asked Nymo what they had done over the day and after a moment the boy obviously chose to completely ignore Ontari’s presence all together and said that they had played another round of hide and seek. Titus had obviously not been pleased to find the children playing instead of studying something.

“He just needs something to lighten his mood” Marie commented sullenly.

“I do not think he is even capable of laughing” Saria added with a frown and burst out laughing herself.

Ontari listened to the younger novitiates discussing between themselves how they might coax a laugh from the flamekeeper. Internally she had to agree to the girl from Delfikru that such a thing was probably impossible to achieve; neither did she see the sense in trying to. She did not contribute anything to their discussion but merely listened how they started to plan what Marie called a “prank”. She doubted that they would achieve their set goal in such a fashion.

Marie had argued that maybe Titus was just lacking things to make him happy. Ontari frowned when the girl retold how she had always smiled when her mother gave her a special nightgown with a dancing penguin on it. She had no idea how such a thing should have looked like, nor what could have been funny about it. The idea of having something painted on clothes was alien to her; clothes had to be practical nothing else.

But it seemed the other children found the idea to paint something on the flamekeeper’s robes amazing. Ontari listened with a raised brow how they discussed what they could paint; Nymo added that they had some suitable paint here which probably would not even be removable by washing.

“Your plan is lacking something” Ontari commented in a bored tone, she still did not understand the sense behind what they were planning.

Marie looked up at her with a surprised expression that turned into a silent question. Internally Marie was happy that the older girl seemed to start to participate somehow.

“You need to get hold of such a robe” Ontari said solely looking at Marie.

Marie’s face fell slightly; she had not even thought about that yet.

But Aden had a good idea to solve that. The boy knew how to prepare a tea that would function as a sleeping aid and worked pretty quickly. He said that he could easily convince the flamekeeper to stay in the library with him to discuss something and he could then offer him some of the tea and he was pretty convinced that the man would drink the tea.

Another problem was that none of them beside Aden actually knew where the flamekeeper’s rooms were located. So after some coaxing Thalu agreed to take up Aden’s place in the plan and drug Titus with the tea.

Titus himself unknowingly made their plans easier. He proclaimed that all of them would come to the library with him right now to revise a lesson which had not taken place during the day.

Ontari followed the notably giddy children with a slight eye roll. She doubted “pranking” the man would result in anything good.

Aden had brought the herbs he would need to prepare the tea with him. The blonde boy innocently asked a handmaid for hot water to prepare the tea himself. He claimed he had found a special mixture he immensely enjoyed at the moment, fortunately the woman believed him.

Marie did not really listen to what the lesson was actually about and she impatiently waited for Aden to offer the tea to Titus.

It seemed even the younger children were better at schooling their features as Titus kept on glaring at her suspiciously.

When Titus finally drank the tea all the children except Ontari waited for it to kick in. Ontari found it almost comical to watch the bald man try to fight of the sudden effects of the tea for a few moments before he simply slumped over.

Aden directed them to come quickly as the sleeping aid would not show a very long function. Ontari reluctantly followed the other children through the halls of the tower; she had no intention of waiting alone with the flamekeeper in the library and being the only one present when the man woke up. The guards were notably surprised to see the group of the novitiates hurry through the halls with giddy smiles on their faces, but none of them intercepted the group.

The flamekeeper’s quarters were located two floors beneath the floor which housed the conclave and were relatively large. Marie first looked around the unknown rooms with interest, instantly noting on the drawings which covered all the walls.

Saria was the one to find another set of robes in a trunk and the children set to work to embellish the boring robe.

Kato first remained standing back but when the brush was offered to him he did take it with a shrug. He was pretty convinced all of them would be punished for this but his mere presence would have been enough to warrant a punishment, so he could as well truly do something.

Marie painted a big childish sun on the centre of the back of the robe and completed it with huge eyes and a smile on the sun.

Ontari resolutely refused when Marie wanted to hand the brush to her and remained leaning against a wall with a bored expression waiting for them to finish.

Aden hurried the younger ones of the nightbloods who seemed to have the most fun at this. They wanted to have returned to the library before Titus woke. Saria carefully put the robe back into the chest and the group hurried back to the library, where Titus was still slumped over in the chair, just like they had left them.

Marie giggled happily while the others already slipped back into their places and resumed their lessons. Ontari nudged the blonde girl to sit down as well again. Somehow hoping that the flamekeeper truly did not find anything amiss before he found the actual robe; she could still try to deny her involvement.

It truly took only a few more minutes for Titus to start stirring and wake up again. It was obvious the man was utterly confused why he had fallen asleep. He eyed the mug with the rest of the tea suspiciously but the nightbloods all looked the very picture of innocence. Aden had been cunning enough to ask for another normal tea and had replaced it for the rest of the sleeping aid.

Titus let them study for some more time before the sun visibly set and he called the novitiates to return to their quarters with the exception of Ontari, who he would bring back to her room himself.

Marie followed the other children almost reluctantly after she had waved goodbye to Ontari. The older girl had just looked at her confusedly at the gesture. She looked out of the window almost accusingly. It was night again which meant she would have to sleep again, again without Lexa and Anya.

She had felt saver in the commander’s quarters so Marie said goodbye to the other children in the elevator and rode to the top of the tower. She smiled slightly when Risha jumped from the huge bed and greeted her enthusiastically.

A guard had followed her up and was still stocking the fire for her. Marie thanked him lowly when he left the chambers again and got ready for bed quickly.

Marie laid down on the bed which still had the smell of both Anya and Lexa on their pillows and Risha crawled up again settling next to her human. She did not feel tired at all at the moment so Marie stood up again and lighted a few more candles and took up the first commander’s journal and started to read. She did not realize when she fell asleep during her reading.

Clarke came into the commander’s chamber to check on the young girl when she returned to her own quarters and spotted the guard standing post. She took the book from the girl’s chest and blew out some of the candles again. Her steps had woken Marie slightly and she pushed the girl to remain lying down “Sleep, Marie” she said softly when she saw the girl’s frightened expression. Clarke would spend the night in the commander’s quarters again, Risha’s presence seemed to help Marie somewhat but it was not enough to ward off all nightmares.  


	130. Chapter 130

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 129  
> Marie trains on how to move and fight on ice with Roan, Echo and later Ontari. The nightbloods play a prank on Titus. Clarke keeps watch over Marie again during the night.

Chapter 130

Anya and Lexa were both bones deep exhausted. The snow storm had gotten steadily worse with every passing hour; fortunately, Lincoln was an experienced hunter and he had managed to take down a bear with Octavia and both had sustained no more than a few scratches.

As the weather had only continued to deteriorate and a bear was an impressive enough hunt, Lexa had called off the hunt earlier than expected. The rest of the hunting party had taken down a stag, a wolf and a few smaller animals. They had travelled hurriedly back to the capitol not resting for the night expecting the storm to pick up even more if they waited.

They reached Polis again before the sun rose. The bonding ceremony would take place on the evening of the next day which would allow for enough time for their whole party to rest before the festivities would start which could easily carry on for a day or two.

Even though the weather conditions had been less than ideal the hunt had been a complete success and fortunately none of the participants had gotten seriously injured.

Lexa would not have admitted it out loud, but she was rather impatient to see for herself that their charge was alright. She was unused to worry like that for a child and the uncertainty had bugged her from the very moment they had left the capitol two days ago. The commander supposed that Anya was having similar thoughts, but they had not spoken about it.

They agreed to collect Marie first from the floor of the conclave assuming that the girl would have slept there when the alternative was an empty room on her own.

Yelling was the first Lexa heard when the elevator came to a halt on the floor. Anya looked at the commander with a raised brow, she recognized the voice for Titus, but it was hard to understand his words through the doors.

The guards all respectfully bowed to Lexa and the doors were immediately opened to her. The scene that unfurled in front of them had Lexa blink in apparent confusion for a moment.

Titus had all the children of the conclave gathered around him and all of them were still dressed in their sleepwear, a sight Lexa usually did not get to see. His usually blank face was contorted in obvious anger and his dark eyes seemed to blaze.

The flamekeeper whirled around at their entrance and he ground his teeth together angrily before he suddenly threw a robe onto the floor at the commander’s feet. Lexa raised a brow in question at her former teacher’s antics.

Anya was already fighting off to burst out laughing. While Lexa had only shortly glanced at the robe, the general had looked deeper at it and quickly recognized that the children must have painted on the robe.

“This is entirely the girl’s fault!!!” he seethed loudly with a vein popping on his forehead angrily.

It clicked quickly in Lexa’s mind that the bald man could only mean Marie as she doubted Ontari would put the other novitiates up to something like this.

Lexa fought against a smile tugging at her lips meeting the man’s heated gaze calmly “I am sure this is not worth your agitation”.

Titus seemed to seethe even more and bent down to retrieve the robe shortly, only to unfurl the robe and show the back to the commander. Although he did not say anything his expression was enough to gauge his anger.

Anya could not help herself and actually started to laugh out loud now not even trying to hide it with coughing. She remembered that the woman at the Ark had told them that Marie and her friend had been trouble makers who sometimes played harmless pranks on others, so this all almost screamed that Marie was the head behind this prank. She could not remember a single instance where the conclave would have dared to mess with the flamekeeper. But a robe could easily be replaced and some of the things the children had painted were quite comical even. The flamekeeper was just too incensed now to appreciate their effort.

Lexa let her gaze shortly travel over the conclave. The older ones mostly looked guilty and chastised, but some of the younger ones were still smiling. “I am sure the robe can be cleaned again” she tried to make up.

But Nymo spoke up suddenly, his voice barely loud enough to understand “The paint does not get out anymore” he lowered his eyes to the floor immediately after.

Lexa sighed under her breath, but she nodded. When she had heard the yelling, she had expected that something had happened and not that only a robe had been destroyed.

“We shall speak about this later again” she directed and sent the children back to bed. It was obvious the flamekeeper was still seething but he followed them out into the hall “A replacement for your robe should not take long to acquire”.

“This is not about the robe” Titus retorted angrily “That they dared…” he ranted, but Lexa silenced them with a mere gesture.

“It was a rather harmless prank, don’t you agree?” the commander asked standing straight facing her former teacher.

“They have drugged me with a tea” the bald man added with blazing eyes.

“I will speak with them later again” Lexa said and efficiently communicated that he would not be expected to discipline the conclave for this prank. She was aware what would have probably awaited the children would have been a rather harsh physical punishment and she was glad they had returned at the time they did.

The man ground his teeth together mutely seething in his anger but after a curt nod he stormed to the stairs and left.

“Marie was not among them” Anya commented with a slight note of worry, but amusement was still evident in her brown eyes.

“You needed to laugh, didn’t you?” Lexa remarked critically but her voice had lost its strictness.

“Oh shush” Anya smirked “Tell me, you did not find it funny”.

Lexa shook her head with a small smile tugging at her lips “At least his expression was”. But she would still need to instil in the nightblood children that such an occurrence was not to repeat itself, least of all drugging the flamekeeper.

One of the guards reported that Marie had returned to the commander’s chambers in the night and that she had done so before as well. Lexa nodded to him and Anya and she went to the elevator to reach the top floor of the tower.

A guard stood post at her quarters and bowed to her as well. Lexa shortly glanced over to Clarke’s chambers wondering if the blonde leader was starting to find a place for her in the capitol. She furrowed her brow when she noticed the absence of a guard at the blonde’s door.

“Wanheda resides in your quarters, Heda” the guard said, and his expression made it clear that he was afraid to have overstepped by allowing Clarke access to the commander’s chambers.

Lexa’s frown deepened; she had not anticipated Clarke aiding their charge and Anya’s face was marred with the same confusion.

Lexa opened the door cautiously and peered inside followed closely by Anya. A small smile tugged at her lips at the sight that greeted them. Marie had snuggled up to Clarke in her sleep and the wolf was curled together at the girl’s feet. With a sudden firm shake of her head Lexa tried to shoo the thought from her mind that she enjoyed the sight of Clarke’s blonde hair splayed out over her pillows and she felt a slight blush cover her cheeks at the inappropriateness of her train of thoughts.

Anya looked at the younger woman with a raised brow and a tease glinted in her brown eyes “If any more people find their way into your bed, you will need to find a bigger one soon”.

Lexa huffed at her general and Risha’s ears perked up and the cub stretched itself jumping from the bed to greet them. 

The movements in the bed seemed to have been enough to wake Marie and the girl sat up in the bed looking around the room confusedly. It seemed to take Marie a moment to recognize them, as the girl first just blinked at them as if questioning her mind if they truly were there. When Marie finally concluded that they in fact her returned the girl squealed happily “You are back!” she exclaimed and hurriedly climbed from the bed, in her haste the girl nearly tripped over her own feet.

Clarke was startled by Marie’s squeal and actually had a gun in her hand, ready to defend both of them. But she quickly let the weapon sink, when she recognized the commander and Anya.

Marie quickly ran through the room hurling herself first at Lexa, who had stood closer to the bed, and let go after a short moment to embrace Anya enthusiastically.

While Lexa and Clarke stared at each other mutely for a moment, Anya squeezed the girl in her arms relieved to see her well and alive again. The general noted that the girl’s features looked drawn and tear tracks were visible on her pale cheeks.

Clarke cleared her throat uncomfortably after a moment before she explained her presence in the commander’s chambers. “Marie had not been able to sleep, and I tried to comfort her after her nightmares” the blonde woman said.

The commander nodded to her in acknowledgment and Clarke cleared her throat again, quickly mumbling out that she would be returning to her own quarters again.

Marie still stood in Anya’s arms and the radiant smile on her face was testament enough to how much the girl had obviously missed them.

“So, you made the nightbloods modify the flamekeeper’s robes?” Anya questioned with a raised brow. Lexa turned around slightly facing them and looked down at their charge with strict eyes.

Marie’s face fell instantly, and she looked guilty. After a long moment of silence, the girl finally said “We had just wanted to make him laugh” the girl’s voice was honest enough to believe in her intentions.

Lexa snorted slightly “You will not achieve it that way. Something like that is not to repeat itself, am I clear there?” her voice had been as hard as her eyes.

Marie winced slightly but she nodded immediately.

“And drugging the flamekeeper, or anybody for that matter, in order to get away is completely unacceptable” the commander added staring down at the girl intently. She knew the children had used the situation only for a harmless prank. But as long as the flamekeeper was looking over them it was his responsibility to keep the conclave safe and doing something like that could have potentially put all of the children in mortal danger.

Marie looked at the floor again with a guilty expression. Anya tightened her arms around the girl in a silent reassuring gesture, aware that Lexa was not angry with the children for their prank. Marie winced notably at the pressure put on her side and Anya frowned, letting go of the girl immediately.

“Are you hurt?” she checked and already kneeled in front of the girl to lift her shirt and inspect her side. Anya hissed slightly at the condition of the girl’s side; her whole left side was covered in a huge angry looking bruise which reached over her ribs, down to her hips.

“How has this happened?” Lexa asked intently. She had already discarded parts of her armour and had just turned around in time to see the huge bruise herself.

Marie bit at her lip indecisively for a moment before she admitted “Roan wanted to show me how to move on the ice…”

Anya groaned internally, already guessing what the girl would be telling them.

“On the ice?” the commander echoed in a carefully measured tone.

Marie winced again before she said “The stream is frozen now…” when Lexa looked at her sharply, anger glinting in her green eyes, the girl quickly added “Titus also trained the older novitiates there. I trained with them later”.

“So, you received this during training with the nightbloods?” Lexa checked, most of the anger had faded from her eyes, although she would still remind the flamekeeper that she did not wish the conclave to train on this particular stream.

The girl shook her head and her grey eyes were visibly unsure as she said, “Roan had me train with Echo”.

Anya shook her head in disbelief. If the Ice Nation assassin had fought with the girl, they were lucky she was even standing there right now.

“Ontari helped me” Marie quickly clarified, aware that she alone would not have been able to train with Echo at all.

“She helped you?” Lexa checked with a raised brow.

Marie nodded eagerly “She was on the ice with Titus and the other nightbloods. She had seen me fight with Echo and she stepped up behind me and guided my movements, like you did before”.

Lexa nodded with a cautious expression while she bandied a look with Anya mutely.

“I could not sleep in the dorm of the nightbloods” Marie added when she caught on to the tenseness in both Lexa and Anya.

But Lexa shook her head with a slightly warmer expression “It was alright if you preferred to sleep here” she reassured the girl and resumed to undress.

Anya quickly stepped out of the room to ask for an ointment from a healer for the girl’s side which should help with the pain and bring down the bruising quicker.

“You are not angry, are you?” the girl asked Lexa in a small voice, her fingers twisting the hem of her shirt nervously.

“For drugging the flamekeeper, yes” Lexa answered honestly “But we will speak about that with the whole conclave tomorrow. I am not angry with you for returning to our quarters. We shall speak again about Roan and Ontari in the morning as well”.

Marie nodded with a slightly downcast expression, but she kept silent.

Anya returned into the chambers and shrugged out of her armour. She would have liked nothing better than to warm up in a hot bath right now, but it was night and trying to get some rest was more important.

A young healer Marie had not met yet came into the commander’s quarters a few moments later carrying a small pot. The girl judged the man to be around Lexa’s age and his fingers were gentle as he probed at her side.

“The ribs seem to be intact” he assessed to the commander and the general. The man distributed a thick layer of the ointment on Marie’s skin and left again. The ointment should be applied for the next days until the bruising started to fade.

Marie was already yawning slightly when the man had left, and Lexa and Anya were ready to get into the bed as well.

Lexa frowned slightly when she noted the disarray of their pillows. Marie blushed when she watched the commander rearrange the pillows and she shyly mumbled “They smelled like you”.

Anya and Lexa both smiled softly at the girl and after Anya had ordered Risha to leave the bed, to the obvious displeasure of the wolf, Lexa nudged Marie to lie down in the middle between them.

The girl immediately cuddled up to them and this night they slept closer to each other, with Marie sandwiched between them and content again. Marie slept peacefully for the rest of the night, reassured by both of their presences the nightmares evaded her again.

Marie felt more rested than the previous two nights and smiled happily at Lexa and Anya. Both were still rather tired, they had barely gotten any rest during their hunt, but the sun had already ascended, and Lexa knew there was still too much to organize to sleep the day away.

“How well can you move your side?” Anya asked when they had gotten out of bed and were sharing a breakfast.

Marie looked thoughtfully for a moment and experimentally moved first her arms and then her whole upper body, but she stopped abruptly with a pained grimace. 

Anya sighed under her breath, having expected exactly this reaction from the magnitude of the girl’s bruising. Training would be extremely hard for her, but she judged it would probably be better to let the girl recover for a few days before they picked up again. Marie had made good progress in the last three weeks and giving her body a few days of rest would not cause a big setback.

Marie looked to Lexa thoughtfully for a moment before she voiced a question which had been bugging her for some time now “Why are Clarke and you acting so weird around each other?” The girl’s grey eyes were inquiring, and her face slightly tilted to the side as if she was trying to solve a particularly hard riddle.

Anya smirked at Lexa with a raised brow. The general of course knew why there was such a tension between the two leaders and it had probably only been a matter of time until Marie picked up on it.

Lexa looked slightly startled for the flash of a second before she regained her composure “We are certainly not acting “weird”, Marie” she tried to placate the girl.

But Marie would have none of it and she vehemently shook her head “You are. But so is Clarke. Why?” Clarke had not seemed affronted at all to help her during the nights and the girl had not treated her at all like she acted with Lexa. Lexa also always seemed slightly more distanced when Clarke was there.

Lexa ground her teeth together slightly internally debating if she should just order the girl to let the matter drop. But she knew how curious the girl was and it was a possibility that their charge would just utter the same question to Clarke, if she did not get an answer from her.

She shortly glanced at Anya, but the woman subtly shook her head, even going so far to excuse herself to the bathroom. Lexa sulkily watched the older woman leave, aware that she would still be listening to the conversation and that Anya would regard this situation as payback for her own uncomfortable conversation with Marie.

She felt the girl’s grey eyes taxing her almost impatiently and Lexa sighed slightly under her breath “Clarke is still angry about the Mountain” she chose to state the less dangerous reason.

Marie frowned in confusion “But that should not be enough for that. And I forgave you as well”.

Lexa nodded with another sigh “You did” although she still wondered how the girl could have forgiven such a personal betrayal seemingly so easily. But that was the core problem with Clarke, the betrayal had been personal and although she judged that her head might have understood the decision, her heart had obviously still not.

“Clarke knew that I have feelings for her” Lexa finally admitted out loud. The answer should have been enough, but Marie’s features looked only even more confused.

“So, you like her?” the girl checked with a frown “You can still be friends” she added in an honest way.

Lexa glanced at the bathroom door accusingly that Anya had still not returned. She would settle for anything with Clarke, even if it just remained friendship, but she doubted any relationship would be possible to develop between them.

“And you had feelings for me too” the girl added when Lexa did not say anything for a few moments. It was obvious the child just wished to understand where the problem was and hoped that there was an easy way to fix their obvious problem with each other.

“Different feelings, Marie” Lexa finally clarified meaningfully.

Marie frowned after a moment when the meaning seemed to settle in her mind “But…” the girl mused “…you are both girls”.

Lexa nodded with a cautious expression. They still had not spoken with Marie about any kind of sexuality and she felt highly uncomfortable having to discuss this now with the girl.

“So are Anya and Zora” the commander settled on with a raised brow.

The girl’s features twisted into surprise for a moment before they turned slightly grossed out “Eeehww…” she commented with a grimace.

Lexa smirked slightly at her expression. It had already been clear that the girl had not made the connection between Anya and Zora spending a night with each other, when she had wanted to reside with them in the same room.

“So, you love Clarke?” the girl checked after a moment, her expression still curious.

Lexa slightly shook her head “The depths of my feelings do not matter anymore, Marie.”

“Why not?” the girl kept on bugging completely ignoring Lexa’s obvious reluctance to speak about the matter.

Slightly irritated Lexa answered, “Because Clarke’s heart was betrayed with my decision at the Mountain”.

“She can forgive that as well” Marie simply reassured with such conviction in her voice that Lexa smirked slightly. If the world would just work as easy as it did in the eyes of an honest child.


	131. Chapter 131

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 130  
> Lexa and Anya return early from their hunt and find the result of the prank with an angry Titus. Marie is happy to see both of them again. Marie confronts Lexa about Clarke and their behaviour towards each other.

Chapter 131

Anya had, just like Lexa had predicted, listened to their conversation from the bathroom. The general frowned at the commander’s words. She knew Lexa well enough to decipher just how deeply the young leader had fallen for the girl from the Sky.

She was aware just how stubborn Clarke was and she internally had to agree with Lexa, even if the blonde girl might have reciprocated the commander’s feelings once, she highly doubted Clarke would ever allow herself to feel anything for Lexa now. And judging from the almost bitter resignation in Lexa’s voice Anya recognized that the younger woman was well aware of that fact as well and was trying her hardest to stop her heart from aching for the blonde leader.

It would probably be easier for Lexa if Clarke left the capitol; knowing her to be so near and yet out of reach could not be easy for her former second. Although she had sort of hoped that the commander would keep her heart guarded and save herself more pain, it seemed it was already too late for that. Titus and Gustus would be less than pleased when they caught up with the commander’s feelings.

Marie’s conviction that Clarke would surely forgive Lexa astounded Anya slightly. If there was one thing the blonde leader was good at, it was obviously stubbornly holding onto a grudge.

Anya saved Lexa from having to say anything to that declaration by returning from the bathroom. She had thought to have avoided another weird conversation with Marie, but the girl’s grey eyes turned to her the very moment she came back and were scrutinizing her for a silent moment.

“If you love Zora, why is she not here?” Marie nearly shot out her question, her head slightly cocked to the side in obvious curiosity.

Anya blinked down at the girl in startled surprise, while Lexa hide a smirk behind a cup of tea. If she had been drinking anything, Anya knew she would have chocked on it.

“I do not love Zora” Anya finally said after a moment, when it was clear Marie would not simply let the question slip from her mind.

Marie scrunched up her brow in obvious confusion.

“We just enjoy each other’s company” Anya tried to explain the situation to Marie. Although she would say, that she liked the warrior from the Desert Clan well enough, she truly would not describe her feelings as anything deep as love. It had never crossed her mind to find someone to truly love and share her life with. She had found her destiny and contentment in the life of a warrior and after Lexa had risen to take command Anya knew she would forever act as her general and had not wanted for anything else.

The general waited for a moment to see if Marie still had questions, but when the girl remained silent with a contemplative expression on her young features, both of them were sure that the conversation was over thankfully.

“How do women have sex?” the girl suddenly asked with innocent eyes and her head was still tilted to the side slightly. Although the people from earth had not kept the usage of the word “sex” it was still clear what their charge wanted to know.

Anya had just taken a sip of tea and nearly spit the brew out again in silent shock. Lexa was also looking at the girl with slightly widened eyes and both of them were banding uncomfortable glances. Anya internally wondered why the girl seemed to be so curious all of a sudden and she could not remember having to speak about the physical aspects of sharing a night to Lexa or to Tris. She herself could also not remember actually asking someone about it either.

“Well…” Lexa started but it was obvious the young leader was rather lost for words. Anya did not seem to fare any better judging from the way she had locked her jaw tightly and was looking anywhere but at Marie.

“What do you know about sex, Marie?” the commander asked not answering the girl’s question at all; the foreign word felt slightly weird on her tongue.

Marie frowned slightly at the evaded question but her answer came easily, ”Sex is when a man puts his penis in the woman’s vagina”.

Both Anya and Lexa looked at their charge slightly shocked. Both were sharing the opinion that the girl was awfully young for such details. They were surprised how the girl gave her answer, not even batting an eye. But the words sounded as if they had been put in her mouth and clearly not in the way Marie would have worded something.

“But two women don’t have a penis” the girl concluded, her face confused again and her gaze wandered between Anya and Lexa, who were both equally embarrassed. 

“No, they don’t” Lexa agreed finally after swallowing forcefully “But woman can have intimacy without one”. Her cheeks were slightly dusted with a blush she could not prevent from forming.

“How?” the girl kept on asking obviously still curious about the subject.

Anya slightly shook her head. “You are way too young to wonder about such things, Marie” the general said once she had regained some composure back and her voice was hard, signalling an end to the conversation.

The girl still did not look satisfied with the answer, but let the question drop when Anya’s expression remained unyielding.

“Eat” the general ordered and shoved a plate in their charge’s direction. Marie took the plate up with a notable frown on her features, her mother had never evaded any questions regarding their bodies and she wondered why both Lexa and Anya seemed so uncomfortable with them. Maybe the people on the ground did not talk about matters like this she thought to herself.

Lexa had never felt the need to talk about sexuality, she had developed her own gradually over time and it had been apparent quickly to her that she did not feel attracted to the opposite gender. Costia and she had discovered together what sharing one’s body could be like. But it seemed that Marie had already grown up differently in that regard and Lexa did not know what their charge should be told at that moment. Marie had caught both of them off guard and utterly unprepared.

“So how have you ended in Roan’s company?” Lexa asked hoping to divert the girl’s attention from her sudden bout of curiosity.

The girl’s ears turned slightly red and her whole composure screamed that she thought to have done something forbidden. “I visited him” Marie breathed almost too low to understand.

Both Lexa and Anya bandied a silent look and seemed to exhale forcefully.

Although the girl’s face was turned towards her plate which seemed suddenly very interesting to her, her eyes were still unobtrusively switching between both women.

When none of them said anything for a moment Marie gnawed at her lips before she added vehemently “But the guards saw me and they did not stop me”. Marie felt it important to point out, that she did not sneak around on purpose this time; she knew how angry both her mentors had been when she followed Boo without alerting any guards.

The commander’s lips tugged into the ghost of a smile at the girl’s obvious try to justify her actions. She had not instructed the guards to keep their charge restricted to certain places, but she had given them the instructions to not let her out of the tower without supervision.

“And two guards came outside with us as well” the girl added obviously still worried with their continued silence.

“Why have you visited the prince of Azgeda at all?” Anya asked and her brown eyes were hard as she stared at the child. It was absurd for the general that the girl would seek Roan out at all.

Marie visibly squirmed under the scrutinizing gaze and said after a moment “The novitiates were to have an English lesson first and that is boring. Alira said I did not have to go there, if I did not wish. And I came across the floor of the prisoners and it was snowing again and I wanted to tell Roan that I do not like snow that much anymore”.

Anya snorted under her breath in obvious incomprehension while Lexa’s eyes softened slightly at the girl’s innocent intentions.

“And why had he trained you?” Lexa questioned the girl in a calm and even tone to signal to their charge that she was not angry at her.

Marie’s cheeks were slightly reddened with a blush as she mumbled “I told him, that Anya kept on complaining, that I can’t move on the snow and he said, that it was because I was not taught by someone from the ice”.

Anya’s lips thinned visibly at the jab at her training style but Lexa merely shook her head, signalling the older woman to keep quiet, Marie had not meant the comment as an accusation after all. The girl probably had not even noticed the jab at all.

The blonde girl seemed oblivious to the general’s slightly soured mood and told them rather enthusiastically how Roan had taught her how to keep her balance and that she had played with some of the children living in Polis who had also enjoyed the icy surface. Her voice notably lost some of her delight when she enumerated how Roan had tasked Echo with training her. The girl was honest in not having had any chance against the Ice Nation assassin; both Lexa and Anya had not expected anything different. They were both holding back a lot when training with Marie and they doubted Echo would have done the same; judging from the battered state of the girl’s body she had not hold back at all. Anya frowned slightly in surprise when Marie said that Roan had reprimanded Echo not to kill her in training or they would both lose their heads.

Marie did not seem to notice how both women’s eyes flashed dangerously. It was obvious Marie did not seem to believe the prince’s prediction, but Lexa internally could only agree with him. Had they returned to find the girl dead, the commander knew she would have executed both after hearing they had their hands in her second’s death. Anya felt a sudden flash of irritation at their charge at how apparent it was that the girl had not even thought about the possible outcome to be killed when facing the Ice Nation assassin.

Once Marie caught on with her mentors’ tension she quickly said that Ontari had suddenly appeared and helped her. The more the girl told them about Ontari the clearer it became how awed Marie was with the older girl’s skill and Lexa and Anya shared an uneasy glance over the girl’s head. Lexa had tried to caution their charge against trusting the Ice Nation nightblood blindly, but it seemed her words of caution had been lost on Marie. She continued with telling them that Titus had called them away some time later and had paired her off with Aden.

Lexa smiled slightly she knew that the blonde nightblood boy would have known to go easy on the girl as to not injure her seriously.

She sighed under her breath inaudibly at their charge’s account of how brutal Titus once again had been in training Ontari. The commander had made it crystal clear to her former teacher that she did not wish for the Ice Nation nightblood to be killed during training, but it sounded as if the bald man did not take her words very seriously on that matter.

Lexa coaxed the girl to tell them again how their prank had come into fruition and she hid a smirk at their charge’s tail. It was obvious that even though Marie had clearly been the actuator of the whole idea, the other novitiates had been eager to follow through with the prank. The commander frowned at Ontari’s obvious reluctance and she knew that the whole scenario could have played out differently if the Ice Nation nightblood had chosen to use the lack of supervision to try to assassinate the other novitiates. Lexa was not sure if Ontari could have succeeded without any help as she knew how skilled her nightbloods were in fighting, but caught off guard anything was possible. Her own worry was reflected in Anya’s brown eyes but it was apparent Marie had not recognized the possible danger in the situation at all. She made a mental note to herself to speak with Ontari alone again, questioning her why she had not seized the obvious chance as the commander highly doubted that the girl would not have recognized the potential of the situation for herself.

Marie’s tale did not stop with the prank itself but the girl quickly changed the subject of her narration to Clarke. Lexa frowned slightly as the girl said that Clarke spent the last two nights with her and had assured Marie that is was alright for her to seek her out whenever she wished to. The commander had already spotted some of the art supplies she had sent to Clarke’s room distributed over one of the tables and Marie quickly stood up and retrieved a sheet of paper showing it to both of them proudly.

To divert the girl’s attention from her obvious distress at missing Lexa and Anya, Clarke had tried to teach her some art skills and Marie now showed them a drawing she had made. It was still unfinished but it was obvious already what the girl had wanted to draw. Marie had drawn a rough sketch of a clearing in the woods where a smaller figure was fighting with a larger figure, overseen by another adult figure. At least Anya thought it should show a training scene, as some things were rather hard to recognize. She failed to find much resemblance between the figures and them; although the general mused their charge had tried to draw them.

The childish way of the drawing was even more striking when Marie suddenly had another drawing in hand and Anya swallowed forcefully. The drawing had obviously been made by Clarke and the charcoal strokes had formed a perfect picture of Tris.

“I nearly forgot to give it you” Marie said with a slight smile and offered the sheet of parchment to Anya who took it with suspiciously wet eyes. Oblivious to the woman’s sudden nostalgia Marie blabbered on “It’s a present from Clarke” she pointed out needlessly.

Anya nodded mutely unable to form words with a huge lump in her throat. Lexa diverted Marie’s attention from the general by asking about her own drawing. It was obvious the girl would require a lot more practise to become skilled in it, but for her age Lexa mused the drawing already showed at least some skill. As the education to become commander required her to be able to draw maps Lexa herself had received a very basic tutelage in drawing and had never been interested in the skill beyond what she necessarily needed. If it was something the girl enjoyed to do though Lexa would sent an attendant to purchase some supplies for their charge from the market.

She had tried to implement her novitiates to have some free time every now and then. Back when she had been a novitiate they had been highly discouraged from any frivolous activity which was not directly associated with skills needed as a commander. While the previous commander did not possess any real liking to children, Lexa had always enjoyed the company of children and wished her novitiates to at least sometimes be able to act as free as any other child. She did wish the same for Marie, so she would encourage their charge to pursuit other skills than just fighting and political thinking.

After their breakfast Marie accompanied Lexa to the room where Ontari was kept; Anya had parted ways with them telling the commander she would train with her unit now with a glint in her eyes that told Lexa that her general had planned to extract some revenge from the Ice Nation assassin for hurting their charge. Lexa let her go with a silent nod of acknowledgment. No words were needed between both women to agree that they would not let anyone go unscathed after injuring their charge intentionally.

Once they entered the small room together it was apparent to the commander that Marie had not exaggerated her tale of Titus laying into Ontari ruthlessly in training. What was visible of the girl’s skin was littered with dark bruises and a few gashes grazed her throat.

“Has a healer seen to you?” Lexa asked immediately; she doubted the rest of the girl’s body would look any better.

The Ice Nation nightblood narrowed her eyes proudly and shook her head in silent denial. Her hard gaze faltered slightly when she noticed Marie behind the commander’s form. 

Lexa sighed slightly under her breath and turned around to command a guard to fetch a healer immediately leaving the two girls alone for a moment.

Ontari’s gaze considerably softened when the commander left but she did not say anything as she regarded the younger girl silently. From Marie’s posture it was obvious the younger girl was in pain somehow and seemed to favour her left side. She had not seen or heard anything yet that would point to the thought that the commander or the general might have punished the girl physically but with her own experiences Ontari hoped that Marie had not been subjected to this kind of punishment.

Lexa paused at the door which she had left ajar when she heard Ontari’s voice ask Marie if she had been punished for the prank. The commander was internally surprised by the younger girl’s deceptiveness and articulation of worry for their charge.

Marie shook her head with a frown, she had not thought about what kind of punishment could be awaiting her and neither Lexa nor Anya had said anything about it yet so she hoped that she might be let off unpunished. She felt Ontari’s dark eyes scrutinizing her and landing on her left side and understanding dawned on her.

Marie slightly lifted her shirt to show the large bruise beneath the fabric “It is from yesterday” she added as an explanation.

Ontari’s frown only deepened wondering how she had missed the girl still being hit so strongly. The bruising was extensive and explained her favouring the complete side. “I thought I had guarded your sides better” the older girl mused as if mostly to herself and Lexa still listened on to their conversation.

Marie quickly shook her head “You did” she assured “Echo hit me before and I feel on the side as well”.

“Oh” Ontari said and her dark eyes were uncharacteristically filled with compassion “It should get better after a few days”.

Marie nodded and answered with a slight smile “Anya put some ointment on it. It feels better already”.

Ontari’s expression remained neutral and her eyes became guarded again when she heard the door open again and with a flash of annoyance she noted that the door had only been ajar the whole time and the commander had probably been able to hear their exchange.

Lexa spotted the slight flush to the younger girl’s skin at being caught expressing compassion even though it was obvious Ontari was trying hard to keep a straight face. She ignored her apparent discomfort and lightly put a hand on Marie’s shoulder immediately bringing up the fact that Ontari had not used Titus’ drugged state to her own profit.

Marie frowned up slightly at the commander, the confusion on her face honest and confirming the fact that she had not thought about this possibility at all.

Ontari’s dark eyes turned even colder but Lexa had still noticed something flash through them. The younger girl jutted out her chin proudly glaring at the commander in silent defiance and Lexa would have laughed at the way the girl’s stance faltered every time she even so much as glanced at Marie but she still felt irritated with her reluctance to speak honestly with her.

The commander could not shake off the sudden mental picture of returning to Polis only to find Ontari sitting on her throne basked in black blood, the heads of her nightbloods slain at her feet and only waiting to kill the commander to seize the throne for herself.

It was obvious the proud girl had taken the question as a jab at her missing a very real chance but Lexa had actually hoped to get a hint if the girl’s loyalties might already be changing. She knew she could just force the younger nightblood to speak her mind but she doubted that would help the distrustful girl so Lexa swallowed her irritation and explained to Ontari that there would be no punishment and that she recognized the change in her.

Ontari’s dark eyes flashed in obvious surprise before she managed to mask them again. Her gaze returned to Marie and features lost some of her closed off harshness, the girl opened her mouth to try to explain to the commander that she had not truly thought about murdering her novitiates. But a healer arriving at the door halted her and she closed her mouth with an audible snap, her eyes hard and unreadable once again.

The commander nodded to the healer and watched in silence how Ontari stripped out of her clothes in obvious reluctance. Marie audibly gasped in shock at the state of the older girl’s body and Lexa sighed under breath.

“You will be excused from physical training for the next days” she said in a tone that left no room for discussion.

Ontari looked openly confused and obviously confused; she had never been let off training before, no matter the injury. She had trained for weeks with a broken arm and the only thing her opponents did was trying to use the injury as a weak point so she had learned to block out all pain from her mind. She watched the commander guide her second out of the room with a furrow to her brow and let the healer work on her in silence.


	132. Chapter 132

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 131  
> Marie tells Anya and Lexa about her previous day and starts questioning them about sexual matters. Lexa takes Marie with her to speak with Ontari.

Chapter 132

Lexa had brought Marie to the throne room afterwards where all the novitiates were already waiting for the commander.

The older children had their faces guiltily tilted to the floor and it was obvious they were awaiting a punishment from her.

Lexa let her gaze travel over them in stony silence for a moment knowing that letting them wait for a moment would only increase their apprehension. The children visibly squirmed under her unyielding stare and they rarely were confronted with her harder side.

“Heda, we…” Aden started to say, probably intent to justify and excuse their actions of the last evening.

The commander raised her hand, silencing the blonde boy instantly and she watched Aden’s shoulders drop in defeat.

Lexa explained to her novitiates what could have happened last evening and that she had expected better from them while she let her eyes rest for a few moments on the older novitiates who should have been thoughtful enough to recognize the possible dangers drugging their teacher could bring.

She did not scold them for the park in principle and the commander was sure that the nightbloods would realize that later as well, but the guilty faces were enough testament that they had understood her chastisement.

She made it clear that if something like this were to repeat itself that all of them would lose the privilege of spending time without supervision. To lift their sullen moods somewhat she dismissed the novitiates with the final comment that although the execution of their prank had been careless, the mere idea of making the flamekeeper smile had some merits.

After the other children had left Marie stood directly in front of the throne and hugged the commander with a smile on her face. Lexa was rather perplexed by the gesture and frowned at her charge when she pulled back, although the corners of her mouth tilted up in a confused smile. “What was that for?” she asked her features softer again, as she felt Gustus’ heavy gaze on them.

Marie shrugged slightly with an innocent look and chirped happily “For being you”.

The answer astounded Lexa and she nodded in mute acknowledgement. No meeting were scheduled for the rest of the day so the commander had returned to her chambers with Marie where Risha was already impatiently waiting for her human.

When Anya returned to their quarters later the general had a noticeable satisfied air around her and Marie who had been sitting on the floor with her back propped against an armchair tilted her head to the side in silent question.

Marie had formed a sort of ball out of a few strips of rags and had tried to teach Risha to fetch the ball and bring it back to her. The wolf cub had quickly grasped the concept of running to the ball but the bring it back part of the game seemed harder to grasp. Lexa had watched their play for some time being distracted from the book she was reading by the girl’s occasional giggles.

“Echo will surely not be able to move around for some time either” the general commented with a satisfied smirk and dabbed a piece of cloth against a graze above her eyebrow.

Marie’s grey eyes widened notably and her arm remained suspended in the arm as she had abruptly stopped the process of throwing the ball again.  The girl’s eyes switched between Anya and Lexa trying to figure out if the general had meant her words seriously but Lexa had just looked up shortly and inclined her head subtly.

Risha who had waited impatiently for her human to throw the ball again with her tail wagging with excitement suddenly jumped against Marie’s shoulders in order to catch the ball from her hand, thinking this was a new form of their play.

“Ouch!” Marie chided the wolf who had just trotted away with the ball in her muzzle and rubbed at her injured side gingerly. “Should I heal that for you?” the girl offered in a soft tone looking up at the general.

But Anya quickly shook her head in denial “It is only a graze, Marie” she reassured their charge “And Echo got worse”.

Marie frowned slightly; she was still mostly unused to the revenge system that seemed to be in place in their world. Revenge on the Ark had never worked in a physical fight; fighting on the Ark usually meant a death sentence for both parties.

“And it is a visible graze at that, Marie” Anya reasoned with the girl “One others have seen already. It would quickly become suspiciously for such wounds to disappear”.

Marie nodded although the worry still lingering in her gaze clearly conveyed she would still prefer to heal it for the woman.

“Come” Anya ordered changing the subject quickly and motioned for the girl to strip out of her shirt and lie down on the bed. The general retrieved the pot of ointment from the bathroom and warmed some between her palms; Lexa had never appreciated a cold ointment against her skin.

Anya’s hands were gentle as she applied the ointment on the bruised skin and careful not to apply pressure, but Marie still tensed in obvious discomfort under her touch.

Marie yawned slightly and Anya pulled a fur over her body telling the girl to rest; the bonding would take place tomorrow and the day was promising to be a long one. The girl grabbed onto Anya’s wrist when the general made to move from the bed, looking up at the woman with big pleading eyes. But Anya gently pried the girl’s fingers from her wrist telling her that she would take a bath and return to her.

So Marie ignored Anya’s orders to remain in the bed and gathered the fur around herself with one arm. She padded over to Lexa who was sitting on one of the big armchairs and mutely squeezed herself next to the commander on the piece of furniture. Lexa looked down at the girl with an astounded frown; it took Marie a few moments of wiggling to find a comfortable spot and it was a tight fit in the armchair.

Lexa mutely rolled her eyes at the girl’s antics and she ignored the girl’s elbow digging uncomfortably into her side as Marie had already closed her eyes and burrowed herself deeper against her body.

With fondness in her gaze Lexa shook her head and resumed reading quietly. When Anya returned from the bathroom some time later dressed in comfier clean clothes and hair still lose and wet the general paused in her step at the sight of their charge pressed against Lexa in what must be an uncomfortable position for both of them.

“The commander of the blood reduced to a piece of furniture?” Anya mocked good-naturedly with a tease in her voice as she stepped closer. Titus would surely have a fit if he saw Lexa in such a position.

Lexa did not raise her eyes to the other woman but said “Oh, shush, as if you would not have let her do as pleases”.

Anya snorted at the commander but did not deny the implication in her words either.

Marie woke up some time later and smiled up sheepishly at Lexa as she extracted herself from her weird position.

“Comfortable rest?” Anya asked teasingly and the girl blushed immediately still not used to Anya’s sometimes dry wit.

Lexa shook her head slightly at the general. She might to be able to be openly affectionate towards the girl beyond the confinement of her own quarters but in here she was not forced to keep up the façade of the commander.

Marie recovered quickly when she noted that Anya’s hair was still lose and she enthusiastically suggested that she could braid it for the general. Anya barely managed to supress a grimace and mutely turned on the couch to make space for the girl behind her at the open excitement of the child.

Lexa snorted slightly under her breath thinking that Anya really had no right to tease her about her own closeness to Marie if she now let the girl have her will like that as well.

The rest of the evening passed peacefully. Lexa deeply cherished the leisure time she had as it happened seldom and she now only had a day free of meetings because they had anticipated for the hunt to take a day longer. She could have re-scheduled some meetings but Lexa knew how much their charge would have missed them. After her flashback to the Mountain a few weeks ago the girl had been clingy and Lexa hoped that a few quiet hours would help ease the girl’s mind after their separation.

Lexa watched the girl work on Anya’s hair with a content smile. Although the results of the girl’s attempts at braiding were questionable at best it was obvious she was having fun. After Costia had been ripped from her side in such a brutal fashion the commander had resigned herself to the teaching of the flamekeeper interiorizing once and for all that being commander meant to be alone. She had sent Anya who had been the only other person to be close to her away from her side leaving her lonely in the capitol and the confinements of her title. Forming the coalition had required of her to work from before dawn until after dusk and if she had not been swept up with meetings, she had trained. There had been absolutely no leisure time for her and she had preferred it that way. Free time gave her the opportunity to think and on days where she had not fallen totally drained into her bed, she had downed a sleeping aid to numb her mind, unable to face the endless demons hunting her mind.

So much had changed since Skykru had fallen from space and Marie literally had stumbled into both of their lives. Lexa had never expected to reconcile the bond to her former mentor and now they were closer than ever. She long outlived the life expectation of a commander and had achieved what no commander before her had; she had united the clans under one peaceful banner. She would have never believed anyone who would have told her a year ago that she would now be sitting in her chambers utterly relaxed and watching a child braid her former mentor’s hair.

“Lexa, look!” Marie’s excited voice pulled Lexa from her thoughts and she closed the book she had given up on reading to inspect the girl’s results. She must have been lost in her thoughts for longer than she had anticipated; Marie had obviously loosened Anya’s hair again and started over and the results now actually passable.

The commander nodded in silent approval and saw Anya opening her eyes again and looking up at her with a critical expression. The general obviously thought she was falsely praising their charge who smiled proudly. Anya let her fingers run over the braids in her hair and nodded with an approving expression as well and the girl now positively beamed with pride.

In the morning Marie sat patiently while Alira braided her hair in an elaborate fashion and was reasoning with Lexa why she wanted to also have some war paint on her face now.

The general watched the discussion with an amused smirk on her face. Lexa tried to explain to Marie that they were in fact not going to wear war paint at all but rather a special ceremonial paint. Marie quickly corrected her plea and now asked for the ceremonial paint instead. After a few minutes of the girl’s endless pleas Lexa relented and after applying her own paint which was mostly done in light colours turned to the girl and applied a few streaks of white paint around her grey eyes.

Marie was happy to be handed a light tunic and warm leggings instead of her normal gear and a silver belt kept the wide tunic around her body. The commander and general were still dressed in armour but lighter armour than they usually wore and it was done it brighter colours as well. A few small white flowers had been inserted into their braids as well. Lexa’s red sash was still in place and contrasted starkly with the otherwise bright attire she wore.

Anya had explained to her that the ceremonies for the bonding would start soon. Marie was surprised to see that the first part of a bonding consisted of a kind of cleaning ritual. She had first thought they would need to watch Lincoln and Octavia bath but it seemed to be more symbolic than anything else.

Marie had never been to a wedding ceremony on the Ark so she had no idea what customs would come from the Ark and which were truly from the grounders. Octavia was a bundle of nerves when they met and Clarke was trying to reassure her that everything would go over well. Indra had stood behind them, the most expressive Marie had ever seen her. Octavia seemed to pull herself together slightly when she noticed the commander’s presence and Clarke only shortly glanced at them, smiling slightly at Marie.

Although Lincoln seemed more controlled in his emotions it was still obvious that the man was excited with the way his eyes shone.

Marie watched the Skykru delegation hover at the side unsurely of where their place was. After the cleaning ceremony of which Marie did not understand the meaning the group left the tower and gathered on a podium in front of the tower. Many inhabitants of Polis had already gathered there to witness the bonding and the atmosphere was buzzing with excitement. They had been fortunate with the weather and the snow storm had passed by the capitol and the weather had cleared. It was still icy cold outside but the wind had mostly stopped making it bearable again. Everything had been prepared to hold the ceremony inside the tower for the case that the weather would not clear.

Marie had no idea where the grounders had found the flowers which now were used to decorate the podium but the effect was beautiful. The wood of the podium had been scrubbed clean of the blood as good as possible and a red carpet covered it instead.

Marie heard a woman singing a methodical tune and she watched how Lexa stood at the centre of the podium with Lincoln facing her. A few moments nothing happened and Marie had already turned to Anya to ask for they were waiting for, when first Indra stepped out of the tower and a moment later Bellamy led Octavia outside.

Her hair was braided beautifully and a few streaks of bright paint adorned her face. While she smiled brightly in obvious excitement, Bellamy’s smile looked slightly strained. The young man still wore his usual dark clothing from the Ark, while Octavia was also dressed in a kind of bright armour.

The woman’s voice singing the song broke off when Octavia finally stood next to Lincoln, both gazing at each other in silence for a moment before Lexa cleared her throat. Bellamy had given Octavia’s hand over to Lincoln and nodded at the man mutely with a strained smile.

The commander addressed the pair in a clear voice which easily carried over the whole crowd. Indra stood behind Octavia while Nyko stood behind Lincoln. Bellamy had stepped down from the podium and joined ranks with the rest of Skykru and Marie saw Kane patting him on the shoulder with an encouraging smile. It was obvious the young man was still not happy about the situation but had obviously recognized that his sister’s mind was not to be swayed. 

Lexa held a short speech addressing the crowd as well, stressing that this bonding would hopefully be the first of many on their way to true peace and unity between the clans. It was obvious by the proud shine to Lexa’s green eyes how happy she was to be able to hold a ceremony for such a happy occasion, instead of executions which usually took place on the podium.

Marie listened with interest how Lincoln and Octavia basically pledged their souls to each other, validating the bond through a vow of blood. Lexa sliced both of their palm until blood visibly flowed from the cuts. The commander placed both their hands together, mixing their blood and bound their linked hands together with a white piece of fabric declaring them bonded by blood after they repeated a short vow. While Lincoln spoke the vow in Trigedasleng, Octavia recited the words in English choosing to honour her origins. Indra and Nyko had put their hands onto their joined ones and spoke a few words, confirming the vows.

The people who watched the bonding cheered once their hands had been connected, fell silent instantly when one of them said something and started their cheers again.

Even though Bellamy had obviously still been hesitant towards the bonding of her sister, his dark eyes were shining suspiciously as if they swam in tears. He stepped back onto the podium and handed a small box over to Lincoln with a silent nod and smiled at Octavia.  The small box obviously contained traditional wedding bands from the Ark, Marie had no idea how they had procured the jewellery but Octavia seemed touched deeply by the gesture.

Although Marie could not deny that the whole bonding ceremony had been beautiful she became bored soon. After the blood vow, they had exchanged the wedding bands from the Ark and then Octavia and Lincoln were escorted back into the tower to receive matching tattoos. Clarke who had designed the tattoos followed them to explain the design to the people making the markings.

“What happens now?” the girl lowly asked Anya. She had started to feel the cold even under her coat and she had tried to inch as close to the woman as possible.

“We wait” Anya answered easily and watched the girl’s face fall at her answer. She pulled the girl closer to her to shield her slightly from the cold.

The woman who had sung before had started up again and Lexa stepped back from the centre of the podium conversing lowly with Indra.

The singing had seemed to be a sign for the festive part to start and drink and food was brought out of the tower quickly by a long row of handmaidens.

Lexa officially opened the banquet once everything was ready. “We stay outside?” Marie asked in a slightly higher tone and to her internal horror Anya nodded mutely. With a hand on the girl’s back she guided their charge to follow the commander.

Lexa spoke a few words with Markus Kane and Indra. The commander noted with satisfaction that a friendship seemed to blossom between them.

The feast was impressive and the most impressive part had been the bear’s head which had been placed in the middle of the long table. A blanket would be made out of the bear’s fur as a gift for the newly bound pair.

It seemed to take forever for Lincoln and Octavia to return. The young woman was noticeably paler but her smile was almost blinding in its intensity.

Indra and Nyko were the first to welcome the pair under loud applause and cheers from the complete gathering.

The commander congratulated them afterwards and after that people seemed to stand in a queue to speak their own words of congratulation to them.

It was obvious Octavia and Lincoln were slightly overwhelmed by the positive response. But Lexa and Anya both noticed enough faces which were not celebrating the union among the ambassadors, but looked rather sceptical about the bonding.

Marie winked slightly at Roan, once she spotted the man among the crowd. Her kind smile froze slightly when she noticed Echo standing next to the prince. The woman’s features were expressionless but her eyes bore in on Anya in obvious anger. Marie spotted a few bruises on her face and her right arm was bandaged heavily. The girl frowned up at Anya while the general met the assassin’s angry stare without batting an eye.


	133. Chapter 133

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 132  
> Lexa scolds the novitiates for drugging the flamekeeper. Anya extracts some revenge from Echo. Marie spends a few quiet hours with the commander and the general. On the next day the bonding between Octavia and Lincoln takes place.

Chapter 133

The feast went on for quite a long time and Marie was surprised to see a lot of the grounders actually dancing with each other. A group of grounders were playing music on drums, flutes and a strangely looking stringed instrument. Marie even saw Indra and Kane dancing with each other, but when she asked Anya or Lexa if they would dance, both denied her vehemently. She did not have any experience dancing. At the last feast of the Unity Day on the Ark her mother had already been sick and she could not remember a special occasion before. Her parents had not owned any players to listen to old music and their quarters had been much too small to really move much anyway. But watching the others dance, she wanted to try it out as well, it looked like the dancers were having fun.

Marie pouted visibly and was surprised into speechlessness for a moment, when Gustus proposed to dance with her instead. The girl squealed in delight, while Lexa watched the burly man with a raised brow. Gustus only inclined his head, a silent challenge in his dark eyes, but only amusement flashed through the commander’s eyes.

Marie had a great time dancing with Gustus, although the man was much bigger than her and had been totally awkward at first, it was obvious he must have probably already been in a similar situation with Sierra, when his daughter had been younger. After some time even, the burly man laughed freely. Although there was a sort of bittersweet melancholy in his dark eyes, it was still obvious he enjoyed himself.

Anya watched Gustus twirl Marie around himself to the beat of the music with a slight smirk on her face. Marie’s delighted giggles easily carried over to them and the girl’s grey eyes were twinkling with obvious joy.

Lexa watched their charge with Gustus for a few moments as well before loud arguing caught her attention. Clarke and her mother were facing each other while they almost glared at each other and their voices grew in volume with every word; Markus stood slightly between them obviously trying in vain to make them see reason and cease their argument for now. The commander furrowed her brow as more and more people around the Skykru delegation stopped their own conversations and watched the argument with growing interest.

The commander’s slight smile vanished from her lips and her features were hard as she stood from the chair she had been sitting on. The festivities had not gone on long enough for the argument to be fuelled by the overconsumption of alcohol and it was disrespectful against the newly bonded pair to carry on fighting now.

“You can finally come home, Clarke” Abby’s words were the first Lexa could make out clearly.

Lexa felt a sudden flash of inexplicable worry at the prospect that Clarke might decide to finally give in and return to her people. She felt the urge to step in and simply demand Clarke’s continued presence in the capitol, but she was aware that it was not her place to do such. Even though the blonde woman and she had barely had any real contact in the last few weeks, the commander still rested easier knowing that the other woman was safe and close. She knew she would start worrying about the blonde’s safety as soon as she stepped foot out of the capitol.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Clarke’s angry voice pulled Lexa from her thoughts and the commander stepped closer to the pair. Bellamy had already joined the three of them and had his arms crossed over his chest. From his stance and his expression, it was easy to interpret that he wholeheartedly supported Abby’s wish for Clarke to return to her people.

“Why do you prefer living here instead of with your friends?” Bellamy asked in an accusing tone; apparently, he had taken Clarke leaving personally.

Clarke’s blue eyes blazed angrily and she retorted “I have enough! I enjoy being here and working with the healers. They do not look at me, as if I am not enough. To you I am never enough, no matter what I do!”

“Honey, I want you to come home with us” Abby tried to convince her daughter in an almost pleading tone “I am sure you have outstayed your welcome by now”.

Lexa furrowed her brow in annoyance; Abby’s word was not true, neither was it her place to speak them. “Clarke is welcomed as long as she pleases to stay in the capitol” the commander interjected, her voice steely and some of the onlookers had averted their gazes when Lexa looked around with hard eyes.

“But …” Abby opened her mouth to retort something, while Clarke looked at the commander. Her blue eyes were surprised for a moment, before gratitude flashed through them. Markus had taken one of Abby’s arms and shook his head signalling to the woman to stop their argument. They had already garnered too much attention.

“Apologies, commander” Markus addressed the leader officially with apologetic eyes.

Lexa inclined her head and taxed Abby with a silent glare.

“Can I have a word with you, commander?” Clarke asked, looking for a way to get away from her mother where she could not be followed immediately.

Lexa raised a brow in silent question but inclined her head and turned away from the Skykru delegation leading Clarke a slight distance away. The commander faced the blonde young woman in silence waiting for her to state her mind.

Clarke seemed to blush under her mute stare and defiance flashed over her features as she glanced back over her shoulder at her mother. “I had just wanted to get away” the blonde confessed with a slight shrug.

The commander furrowed her brow, unsure how to interpret this turn of events. None of her people would dare to demand anything from her in the form she had just heard Abby demanding Clarke’s return to Skykru and speaking to her in such a way could very well end deadly. In the commander’s mind, Clarke also demanded respect as a leader and it was painfully obvious that Skykru lacked any appreciation for the blonde woman.

She had internally hoped, that Clarke had truly wished to speak with her and she was unsure if she should feel affronted at being utilized by the other woman, but Lexa also felt a slight measure of amusement at the girl’s move to evade her mother, who was clearly intimidated by her as the commander. Weeks had passed since Clarke had returned to the capitol known to everyone as Wanheda and slowly life was returning into her blue eyes, replacing the cold hatred. She dared not to hope that understanding and tenderness would once again illuminate those blue eyes and Lexa averted her eyes from Clarke’s face at having been caught staring at her in silence for a few moments.

They were interrupted by a young girl dressed in a tattered cloak approaching Clarke and addressing her in rapid Trigedasleng. It was obvious by Clarke’s frown that she did not understand a word from the girl’s hurried plea.

When Lexa cleared her throat loudly, the girl’s head whipped over to her and her face paled at recognizing the commander. The girl quickly apologized rapidly, but Lexa waved her off asking her instead what she had wanted from Wanheda. The girl hurried to explain, that her mother was in the middle of childbirth but something was not right.

Lexa translated the girl’s word for Clarke and the blonde frowned for a moment, before her eyes flashed with determination and she nodded telling to the commander that she would go with the girl to see to the woman. Lexa furrowed her brow in worry; her mind was conditioned to always be suspicious and she did not wish for Clarke to leave unprotected and on her own; so, Lexa accompanied them together with Ryder.

Clarke’s frown showed openly that she did not understand or share the commander’s distrust but she did not voice her disagreement knowing that doing so would only halt their arrival at the woman who needed her help.

The girl led them through the streets hurriedly. Her mother’s loud screams already resonated through the empty streets, as most of the citizens had gathered around the tower to celebrate the bonding ceremony.

They lived in one of the ruins of the old world and the room they inhabited was fairly small. The windows in the ruin had long ago shattered and the girl led them into a room which was boarded up with wooden planks blocking out almost all-natural light.

The girl hurried over to her mother, who was lying on a mattress made of straw. A long skirt was covering her legs and a huge patch of blood was already visible. The woman looked up with eyes crowded with pain, but she obviously still recognized the commander and was struggling to get up from the bed to bow to her leader. It was obvious, that the woman had been in labour for some time now; her skin was pale and clammy with sweat. Clarke instantly feared the woman might die in childbed if the baby was not born soon; she doubted a C-section was a possibility in this unsanitary surrounding.

Clarke rushed over to her and pushed her upper body back down with firm hands. Lexa was slightly surprised to hear the healer address the woman in Trigedasleng. Her language skill was lacking very much, but it was enough to have her understand them. The commander had not known that the blonde woman had started to learn their language at all, but it made sense if she wished to work as a healer; not all citizens in the capitol spoke the language of the warriors.

Lexa stood back feeling oddly out of place as Clarke worked with the woman. Ryder assisted her with a grunt with heating some water and handing over linens while Lexa just waited in silence, hands clasped behind her back. Clarke had already been to a few births in the capitol. She had never seen, how life had been brought into the world on the Ark, but her mother had taught her the theory; she had been surprised by the knowledge of the healers in Polis. They had shown her how to feel the swollen baby bump for the position of the child within the mother. She instantly felt that the baby was not lying correctly and the woman would never be able to give birth like that. It took her long torturous moments to slowly make the body of the baby turn, still in the womb. Clarke’s brows furrowed as what she could feel still did not feel correct, but there was nothing she could do now, besides trying to get the woman to push with her contractions. The contractions were visibly getting weaker as the woman’s strength was waning with every passing moment. The wait seemed to stretch forever until Clarke assured the woman that she could finally see the head of the baby. Clarke was constantly reassuring the woman that it would be over quickly now and encouraged her to continue. Lexa internally admired the way Clarke worked as a healer; her blue eyes were determined and the haunted shadows that were ever present in them after the Mountain were gone for the moment. The commander still thought that the blonde had the spirit of a leader, but it was obvious her heart was called into healing others.

It took another long moment until the wails of a baby filled the room. The woman sank down on the mattress in outer exhaustion, but she was smiling. Clarke cradled the new-born infant in her arms after she severed the umbilical cord. She kept careful eyes on the woman seeing if she bled extremely much and might be suffering from internal bleeding, but fortunately all looked normal.

Lexa felt a smile tugging at her lips at the sounds of a new life born into their world; she had never witnessed this occasion before, but her smile vanished when Clarke turned and the commander laid her eyes on the infant. The infant’s legs were obviously disfigured. They seemed to be stuck together and were bent at a weird angle explaining the woman’s difficulties during the birth.

Clarke was obviously worried about the infant; she had never seen such a disfigurement in a baby and the commander doubted that the blonde healer would have already come into contact with this particular harsh aspect of their lives. Clarke had shown the baby to the girl, which had fetched them and then to the mother; both were crying now and Clarke cradled the infant a little tighter sensing the sudden sorrow which lay heavy in the small room.

The commander nodded to the woman with a sorrowful expression; both knew what needed to happen now. Ryder had also caught up and took a linen to wrap around the squirming infant; Clarke was visibly hesitant to hand over the baby.

“My mother might be able…” Clarke started to say, but Lexa already shook her head resolutely and after inclining her head to Ryder, the man left the room with the infant which had started to scream shrilly protesting at being handed over.

“What is he going to do with the baby?” Clarke asked and her voice had gotten an octave higher, her blue eyes were wide and Lexa guessed that the other woman would have already guessed the answer, but was unwilling to accept it.

“Ryder will bring the infant into the woods” the commander answered in an even tone. She straightened and nodded once again at the woman who now clung to her daughter. Lexa said a few words of condolence to her and indicated Clarke to follow her outside.

“Into the woods?” Clarke echoed once they stepped outside again; her blue eyes were shining suspiciously as if she could start crying any moment now. The haunted look had also returned to them.

Lexa nodded with a stiff expression “So that nature can reclaim its soul to be reborn again”.

“You are just leaving a child alone in the woods to die?” Clarke nearly screeched in obvious horror and she had gotten several shades paler.

Lexa sighed under her breath and was glad for the absence of listening ears now more than ever. “What would you have me do, Clarke?” the commander asked the healer “Our people cannot afford to care for those too weak to sustain themselves”. It had always been their way to abandon children born with deformities, not everyone honoured this tradition but rather chose to leave the clan’s land and try to fend for themselves and their children in the Dead Zone. No clan would accept such a child in their midst. Although it was sad that a life had to be short like this but their lives were hard enough without the added hassle to feed those unable to contribute.

Clarke gaped at the other woman for a moment, closing and opening her mouth in silence, obviously unable to form words. Her blue eyes were wide and unbelieving.

Lexa thought about the Sky people she had met until now and the only one which had shown signs of a disability had been Raven and that had been caused by a weapon. “What have your people done to infants born with disabilities?” she asked into the heavy silence between them folding her hands behind her back as the commander waited for a response.

Uncertainty flashed over the other woman’s pale features. Now that Clarke thought about it, she actually had no idea what the answer would be. She had never considered why all their children seemed to be born healthily. A cold feeling settled into the pit of her stomach at the realization that her people must have had some system to prevent disabled people from being born in the first place. Still the thought of bringing a defenceless child out into the woods and just leave it there sounded barbaric.

“It might take days for the infant to die…” Clarke uttered after long moments of silence in a quivering tone.

The commander shook her head slightly “It won’t suffer” was all she offered. She knew that Ryder would kill the infant before leaving it alone.

Clarke looked at the other woman in question for a moment, but Lexa’s expression was completely blank and the commander was turning from the ruin intent on returning to feast. They had been gone for much longer than she had anticipated; the sun was already beginning to set. Anya would probably already be wondering where she had gone and none of the ambassadors would dare leave an official gathering before the commander left to retire.

The way back towards the tower passed in silence. It was obvious Clarke was trying to process what had just happened. The commander knew there was nothing she could say to reassure the younger woman and she doubted her counsel would be welcome either way. Although Clarke seemed more relaxed now in her presence and Lexa had been unable to detect anger in her blue eyes; the commander was still unsure about their standing and she did not wish to antagonize the other woman so she kept silent.

The nearer they got to the tower, the louder the music and the sounds of people celebrating became. Lexa hoped that such happy occasions would repeat more often now that the Mountain had been destroyed and there was peace.

The commander watched Clarke heed towards the tower immediately, evading her own people on the way, clearly unwilling to talk to them at the moment and she motioned two warriors to follow the blonde woman and take up guard in front of her quarters keeping everyone out.

She felt her former mentor’s brown eyes settle on her the moment they returned to the base of the tower and although her expression was calm, her gaze was worried. Gustus was still dancing with Marie and the girl’s giggles carried over to her and tugged at the corners of her mouth against her permission. It seemed the girl had not even noticed her prolonged absence and that they would need to instil a higher sense of attention to her surroundings into their charge soon.

Gustus had obviously noticed her absence and return and when she inclined her head towards the tower the burly man stopped his movements and guided the girl back over to Anya. Marie’s blinding smile dimmed slightly, but she followed him willingly and smiled widely at Anya.

The commander congratulated Octavia and Lincoln one more time before she addressed the crowd telling them to enjoy themselves for the rest of the night. 

 


	134. Chapter 134

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 133  
> The feast after the bonding takes place and Marie dances with Gustus. Clarke is called to a childbirth of a deformed child and learns of their harsh custom to cast those children out.

Chapter 134

Titus’ POV:

Titus was a creature of habit and tradition. He knew as much and he was watching the developments since the Skykru had fallen down on earth with a constant frown.

He did not like the changes that had taken place since their arrival one bit. The only thing he regarded as positive had been the annihilation of the Mountain and even that had its downfalls. The coalition had been stable because they were facing a shared enemy, now that this enemy had been destroyed the coalition stood on shaky feet.

He had been doubtful about the concept of the coalition even before Lexa had planned to enforce it between the clans. He had doubted her abilities to form this coalition even more; but he had been proven wrong. After four long years of never ending negotiations between the clans who had been open to the idea of the coalition and lastly of wars fought with those who resisted Lexa had managed to get them all to bend to her rule.

Titus looked down at the robe he had been trying to wash for the last several days. The damned colour the nightbloods had used to paint it with was a pain to wash off; they were fading so slowly that his efforts were barely visible. His dark eyes flashed angrily at the reminder of the blonde young girl who had taken up residence inside the commander’s quarters weeks ago.

He was convinced that the children would have never dared to even entertain the idea of “playing a prank” in their minds even less go through with it. Titus had always commanded absolute respect from each single one of them. He did not wish nor need to be liked by them; he needed to teach and guide them and he had done so faithfully for many years. Being restricted in what he was allowed to teach to them now had stung his pride beyond measure. Not a single commander before had dared to interfere with his ways of teachings.

The way the nightbloods had taken an almost instant liking to the girl and her blasted wolf cub was another worry for his mind. He was convinced that any of them would likely keep the Skygirl as their second should Lexa fall in the near future and a new commander would rise.

He could not understand why the commander had insisted to keep the girl in Polis. He had been absolutely sure that sending her away as quickly as possible would have been the most sensible road of action to take, but his counsel had fallen on deaf ears. 

He feared the way his influence on Lexa was declining with each passing day. Titus was aware that Lexa was the wisest vessel the flame had ever had since the first commander, but he feared she was losing her ways.

He had watched Lexa grow into the commander she now was. He had always recognized the great potential the girl had had; in contrast to the previous commander who had been convinced that the scrawny brunette from Trikru could never rise to power.

In his mind it was absolutely unbecoming to a commander to have their second live together this closely as Lexa was now doing with the Skygirl. He gnashed his teeth together in silent anger at the thought of Anya’s return as well.

Although the loss of Costia had nearly crushed Lexa; the commander had risen from the ruins of her heart to become stronger than ever.

The general seemed to take personal pleasure in contradicting his words on every opportunity and he had been relieved when Lexa had finally taken his advice and send all of those she felt personal connections with away. He was not blind and he had seen first-hand that their connection was now stronger than ever. Titus knew he would not be able to convince the commander to send her general away again, no matter what reasons he would argue.

He could watch the commander change in subtle ways everyday now. He had heard the guards whisper amongst themselves of the way the commander was handling her second with soft hands. In his opinion the girl should be moved down in the tower to the floor where other seconds resided and should have a far tighter training schedule. He detested the way Lexa had started to allow the girl to accompany her to almost all meetings or letting her train with the nightbloods in the early hours of the morning before the sun rose.

Even the ambassadors seemed to have mostly taken a liking to the Skygirl after she had lost her timidity around them. He could see the girl smiling kindly even through important meetings and he wondered why the commander and the general were not enforcing a calmer façade on the girl.

Titus had tried to teach the girl himself when it became apparent that no one else would. But it had not ended well for him. With blazing eyes he remembered how the commander had summoned him to the throne room long before the official meetings had been scheduled to start. He had expected to be briefed on the way the commander wanted to deal with the rumours they had heard about a possible coup from queen Nia and had been surprised when the commander had berated him about what he had said to her second. He had mutely gaped at the commander when she told him in an iron voice to let the girl be.

He had tried to reason with the commander in a barely restrained tone that the girl was acting not in the fashion she should but he had been waved off immediately with the clear warning not to do anything about it nor to ever speak about it again.

He was not blind to the way the girl looked at the commander and her general. A look so full of adoration and bonding did not sit well with him. In his mind the girl completely lacked faith and loyalty to the flame and he knew she would chose Lexa and Anya above any duty.

He found it hard to understand why the commander insisted on instigating Skykru into the coalition. Titus was of the opinion that their people had managed to survive and even thrive in a way without the technology Skykru could offer that they surely would not be in need of it now. But it seemed Lexa’s opinion rarely coincided with his own anymore these days.

The two points which worried him most were the Ice Nation nightblood Lexa insisted on keeping in Polis and of course Wanheda.

Although he could admit in the privacy of his own mind that Ontari had surprised him he still did not trust her one bit. It would be way easier to simply execute her and get rid of yet another worry. But it seemed the commander had made up her mind and truly decided to keep her in Polis and train her as yet another novitiate. The only thing he had gotten Lexa to agree on was that letting the Ice Nation girl house with the rest of the conclave was out of question. He had expected a higher amount of aversion from the girl to this condition but as of yet she seemed to have fallen in line a little too easily for his taste.

He had shortly contemplated taking matters into his own hands and simply kill the girl in training, but with the way Lexa had openly threatened to have him replaced as the lead flamekeeper he knew that he needed to keep in her good grace if he wished to remain in Polis.

But at the mere thought of the blonde Skykru leader he felt a vein pop on his forehead in silent anger. He had tried in vain time and time again to convince Lexa to take Wanhead’s power by killing her herself. It was obvious the blonde was no skilled fighter and no one in the coalition would dare to question Lexa’s strength as the commander if she had the added power of Wanheda. But he had failed on every occasion. Changing his tactic he had tried to at least get her to agree to send Wanheda from Polis but Lexa had been steadfast in her offer to let the blonde young woman stay as long as she pleased. Having Wanheda bow to the commander had been a slight gesture and Titus feared it would not be enough should the Ice Nation strike again.

He had had recognized the flash of emotion in Lexa’s green eyes every time the blonde’s name or title was mentioned and Titus felt his heart sink at the realization that deeper feelings connected the two leaders. Wanheda could prove to be the commander’s downfall and he knew he could not actively do anything to have her removed. He had been too open about his dislike for the blonde woman and he knew that Lexa was keeping tracks of his actions these days.

The only sliver of hope he had was that it did not seem that the commander’s feelings were reciprocated by Wanheda and he direly hoped it would remain that way. A romance between the two leaders could shatter the coalition and he would try everything in his power to protect the flame and by thus Lexa.

Titus gave up trying to wash out the residual paint with an annoyed huff for now. He feared the fabric would be stained beyond salvation. The sun was starting to set and he had instructed the guards to escort Ontari out to train her again. The girl’s combat skill were impressive, but she let herself be goaded way too easily, letting her defences drop and solely relying on her strength and speed to strike down her opponent. There were still a few things the girl could learn, if she was willing. And if nothing else he still thought that she needed to be put into her place as often as possible and brutally showing the Ice Nation nightblood that she was in fact not infallible and that her arrogance was not warranted was a task he did take personal pleasure out. While he did not go easy on any on the nightbloods, not believing that it would benefit their progress, he knew that he was attacking Ontari harsher than he did with Aden. So with an almost gleeful look in his dark eyes Titus left his quarters to meet up with the Ice Nation nightblood intent on spilling at least some of her blood.

 

Ontari’s POV:

Ontari nursed a bunch of new wounds she had received from the training session with Titus. She gritted her teeth in silent anger, she was not blind to how much harder the flamekeeper was laying into her during training. She had been convinced that she already knew everything about combat that there was to know. The realization that this was in case not true had been hard on her and a rather painful lesson. But pain was not a new sensation for her, she had learned to blind out any and all pain long ago. It had been a necessary skill to have as she trained under queen Nia.

Back then not all her wounds had stemmed from training for combat. Her queen had been of the opinion that only those lessons would be remembered which had been enforced by pain. Her whole body was littered in the scars of the queen’s lessons.

She startled slightly when the door to her room was pushed open only a second after a knocking sound. Ontari was not used to people actually knocking on her doors; she had never known beforehand when the queen would summon her.

Ontari recognized the woman who entered as the healer who seemed to have been assigned to her. Receiving the regular care of a healer was something else she was unused to. The queen had usually only ordered a healer to look after her if she had been unable to stand and by thus unable to continue training.

In the beginning the healer had explained to her what she intended to do and she had tried to make idle talk with her, but the other woman had stopped trying after Ontari only greeted her with silence.

Ontari waited in utter stillness and silence as the healer treated the long gash on her back. She did not flinch once as the woman pushed a needle and a threat through the wound sewing the flesh back together.

She was left alone soon after and Ontari listened to the shuffling of boots of the guards just outside of her doors. She understood why the commander let her be heavily guarded, but still what she had seen from the commander thus far did not match to what the queen had told her about the Trikru woman.

She had been told that Trikru ruled the coalition exploiting their position of power over the other clans and taking more for their own clan and leaving less for everyone else.

Ontari crumbled the piece of parchment in her first smearing some of her dark blood on it. She had found the letter hidden under her pillow after this training session. Ontari had no idea how or even who had managed to slip the letter into her small room. She wondered if the letter might be a trap from the commander but she somehow doubted that. From what she had seen this far from the commander she seemed to be an honourable woman.

She had read the words scribbled onto the parchment so often that they were almost branded into her mind now. Ontari did not know if she should believe them or if she should even demand to see the commander and pass the letter along to the woman.

The choice of words sounded like words the queen would speak. Harsh and short. Commanding her to be ready. Ontari was aware that her queen would try to have Lexa assassinated but the letter had not contained any definite plan. It was just a reminder not to forget her place.

Huffing in frustration Ontari held the piece of parchment over the small flame of the candle which stood on her table. She watched the letter being consumed by the flames in silence.

Footfalls in the hall outside of her door made her look up. The sounds were too low for an adult and the commander’s second had been to see her before now so Ontari turned to the door and waited. She was still confused way the girl was seeking her out in the first place and why the commander allowed such.

The blonde girl smiled slightly at the guards who had opened the door for her, Ontari could see the smile on her face as the younger girl slipped inside.

Ontari furrowed her brow in silent question why the girl was here. She did not understand why the girl seemed intent to just spent time with her for the simple sake of it. She remembered how the girl had tried to explain to her the concept of “hanging out” with each other and she still did not fully grasp the concept.

The girl immediately started to chatter, telling her enthusiastically about her days training. Ontari listened to the girl’s words glad to hear that Marie’s focus finally had shifted from the bonding ceremony that had taken place ago weeks ago. She had quickly grown tired of hearing Marie talk about it over and over again.

“Lexa told me that I will be going to train with you and the other nightbloods every morning now” Marie told her with a smile.

Ontari nodded mutely. The girl continued to rattle on about her previous combat training session with Aden and she felt a small flash of jealousy in the pit of her stomach. She did not understand her own feelings at the moment. She should be plotting with her queen about how to enthrone the commander and how to get rid of the other nightbloods, but still her attention circled back to the young girl in front of her. Marie had sat down on her bed as if she belonged there. Ontari had never experienced fellowship or friendship like this before and it confused her greatly. She did know the rules of battle and ambush but this was alien to her. She did know the rules of friendship and she somehow feared to lose it again. Although she rarely said much to Marie the girl seemed content enough just to visit her shortly and chitter, all Ontari had to do was listen and nod sometimes.

She was surprised by the freedom Marie had under the commander. Ontari could not remember ever having any leisure time under the queen’s reign.

Ontari heard the footfalls of someone else approaching the door long before her door was pushed open. The younger girl seemed slightly startled and Ontari furrowed her brow, it was obvious Marie was not used to keep track of her surroundings.

The general stood in the door and motioned the blonde girl to follow her. Ontari mutely answered the woman’s nod. Although it was obvious the regal woman was still highly suspicious of her, her brown eyes always became softer as soon as they landed on her second.

She could hear the general speaking with the girl as they left the corridor together. Ontari sighed as she sank down on her bed. Even though the bed was small, it was fairly comfortable. Too comfortable for a bed of a prisoner in her opinion.

Ontari looked out of the small window. The snow had stopped falling for now but she doubted that it would take long for more to fall. The cold season was extremely strong this year and Ontari feared to envision how her people in Azgeda would be faring.

She had briefly spoken with the commander about the Ice Nation. Ontari had been surprised to hear that the commander had sent caravans with goods into the ice. The queen had always claimed that the commander refused any help for the Ice Nation and she now knew those words to be untrue. She could not help but wonder what else might have been lies from the queen’s mouth? She knew that the commander tried to make her see certain things from a new perspective but it was hard for her to think in new ways. Her ways had been literally beaten into her since the day she been able to walk.

The Ice queen ruled her people with an iron fist. Where the people of Polis admired and loved their commander, the Ice Nation feared their queen all too aware that she would sentence them to death for simply looking the wrong way.

A few days ago she had sat in on an open meeting the commander held to listen to the complaints of the common citizens. She had seen people from only the neighbouring clans but Marie had supplied her with the information that before the snow fell more clans had been represented here. Ontari had sat back and watched how the commander handled the complaints gracefully. She had not expected that the commander would take time for such petty matters. She had never seen something similar happen in Azgeda and she doubted queen Nia would have even entertained the idea, she would have probably laughed and cut off the head of whoever had made a complaint.


	135. Chapter 135

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the note at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> Previously in chapter 134  
> A dive into Titus’ and Ontari’s POV.

Chapter 135

Four weeks had passed since the bonding ceremony between Lincoln and Octavia. The Skykru delegation had left after four days of the festivities just as they started to die down and the streets became calmer again. The commander had been surprised that the festivities had gone over without a single incident and she wondered how Skykru had managed to stay in line this time, but she was grateful for small wonders like these.

Lexa now always woke Marie up before the sun rise to take the girl with the training session with the older nightbloods. Their charge was improving her skill greatly now every day, but the girl was still grumbling every morning at being woken before the sun.

Lexa smiled softly as the girl grumbled and simply turned onto her stomach when she shook her gently. Anya who had already stood up and was watching from the table shook her head with a smirk tugging at her lips at their charge’s antics.

“Get up, Marie” Lexa said her voice slightly sharper now and the girl opened one grey eye looking up at the commander to judge her expression.

Marie stretched herself under the furs before she rolled over again and crawled out under the furs. Her side had healed completely but a few fresh bruises littered her body. Although she had undeniably improved her skill the training seemed to only get harder as she improved and she doubted she would ever be skilled enough to evade all the blows directed her way in combat training.

“Morning” the girl said with a smile to both of them before she bent down to greet Risha.

“Get ready, Marie” Anya reprimanded their charge and although her eyes were sharp, her eyes were still soft.

Marie complied with an audible sigh and left into the bathroom. When she returned a few moments later Alira had entered the commander’s quarters and brought breakfast for them. The girl smiled brightly at the older woman and smiled even brighter when she spotted a honey cake among the food. She immediately took the small pastry and bit into it with an expression of pure bliss as the sweet taste exploded in her mouth.

Anya pointed the wolf cub to return to the place in front of the fire place. The general had spent the last weeks with trying to teach the animal some basic behaviour.  She had succeeded at least partly but her efforts were made null every time Marie called for the cub while they were eating and of course the animal then always chose to totally disregard her commands.

The girl sat down on the sofa next to Anya practically leaning into the woman’s body as she munched on the pastry. Anya just rolled her eyes mutely at the girl but adjusted her position so that the girl could sit more comfortably.

Lexa sat on a stole with a straight back while Alira quickly wound her hair into her usual intricate braids.

“How long until the snow melts?” Marie asked after she had finished the pastry.

“The cold season may last for a few moons to come” the commander answered as she took a sip from a cup of tea.

“Are we going to see the other clan lands then?” Marie continued to question. She had heard Lexa discuss with Titus that she planned to travel to neighbouring clans after the snow melted and she remembered that Lexa had promised to show her the sea sometime.

“We?” Anya checked in a sarcastic tone with a raised brow slightly surprised by their charge’s presumption.

Marie’s features showed honest confusion at the question and she slightly tilted her head and glanced over to the commander.

Lexa smirked faintly but her voice was kind as she answered “We might, yes. But it depends on when queen Nia will make her move”. The commander’s expression got sober again at her last words. Lexa and Anya were both getting slightly antsy as nothing seemed to happen and all they heard were vague rumours.

Marie pouted slightly at the answer. The girl did not like the thought that someone was just waiting to plot Lexa’s assassination.

Lexa did not let the girl wallow in her thoughts for long before she stood and by thus efficiently ended the breakfast. Anya would be joining them this morning on the training field and the general handed their charge her coat before dressing warmly herself.

It was still dark outside when they left the tower together. Risha preceded the small group running a distance ahead before waiting for them, all the while wagging her tail in obvious delight. The streets were still mostly deserted, only a few guards patrolled the streets.

Marie yawned wide and giggled under her breath as her breath became visible in the cold air.

The place they trained in was a small clearing framed by a few old ruins. Marie liked the place but Anya and Lexa both kept looking to the ruins regularly to check if they might be being watched.

The group of nightbloods consisting of Aden, Kato and Thalu already waited for them as Ontari was being escorted towards them as well by two guards.

Marie nodded to all of them and was handed a staff by Anya.

The training went on for some time and soon Marie had discarded her coat and felt sweat tickle down her back sticking her shirt to her back uncomfortably. 

After having trained with Aden for what felt like hours Marie now stood back slightly and watched Anya spar with Ontari. Lexa oversaw Aden and Kato facing each other.

Marie scratched Risha behind her ear while she watched. The sun was slowly starting to ascend bathing everything into a golden glow.

Marie frowned when she suddenly saw Ontari pause in her movements looking passed Anya somewhere and her dark eyes seemed wide. The Ice Nation nightblood turned slightly from the general who huffed in annoyance but also turned to look what had caught her attention.

Everything seemed to have suddenly turned into slow motion. Marie first looked in the direction in which Anya and Ontari were looking. Her grey eyes widened when she spotted a hooded a figure standing in one of the ruins. There was a bow in her hand and a second later an arrow flow away from the figure. Marie whipped her head around as she heard the arrow whizz by, from the corner of her eye she saw Anya turning as well shouting at Lexa and the others to get down. But the general’s warning had come too slow and the arrow found its target with a brutal thwacking sound.

“Leexxxaaaa!!!” Marie screamed loudly, voice shrill with horror. The arrow had lodged itself somewhere in the commander’s chest and the woman was visibly faltering in her step, just as another arrow was suddenly shot from another ruin. The second arrow burrowed itself deeply in the commander’s back and Lexa fell to her knees just as she had broken the arrow sticking out of her chest.

Marie ran over to the commander’s huddled over form. Her screaming must have been loud enough to alert some guards. As Marie hurried over to Lexa she looked at Ontari as she passed the older girl. For a second it looked like Ontari might contemplate attacking Aden who stood nearest to her, but as the guards approached the girl let her sword sink down.

Anya seemed torn between trying to follow the assassins and helping Lexa. But as the guards immediately tried to follow the assassins the general strode over to the commander.

Lexa was still kneeling and conscious but it was obvious that she must be in great pain. Marie feared what would happen when the arrows would be removed.

The general quickly pulled Lexa up leaning most of her weight on her own body and almost pulled the younger woman back towards the tower. The commander desperately needed the attention of healers. Anya felt Lexa’s blood seep from the entry wound on her back and she felt her own heart beat faster at the unbidden thought that the wounds might prove to be fatal.

The nightbloods followed the commander with mostly downtrodden expression. All of them had gone a few shades paler, they had never seen Lexa being wounded this gravely and the conclave was suddenly a very probably outcome.

At the base of the tower they ran into Clarke who had been on the way to visit a patient. The Skykru healer stopped in her tracks as she spotted the broken shaft of the arrow in the commander’s chest and another arrow protruding from her back.

“Oh, my … Lexa” she exclaimed audibly with widened eyes before her healer instincts seemed to kick in and her expression hardened “The arrows need to be removed immediately” she said, desperately hoping that they had not pierced any vital organs or might be poisoned as well.

Marie seemed close to tears as she numbly followed Anya now almost carrying Lexa towards the elevator. The general barked a few orders at the guards who hastened to obey; bringing Ontari back to her room, alerting Titus and bringing the rest of the nightbloods into their quarters and to detain them there.

Lexa groaned audibly as Anya laid the commander down on her bed. Titus had followed them into the quarters and hovered behind the bed slightly.

Clarke hurried to get her hands clean to pull out the arrows but her hands were visibly shaking. Marie stood behind the bed and her breathing was elated and her grey eyes widened in horror.

Titus came into the commander’s quarters in a flurry of robes and the bald man’s features were relatively open for once and he seemed to share the same horror Marie felt.

The girl watched with widened eyes how Clarke first apologized to Lexa and as the commander nodded then with one jerk pulled out the arrow from the back.

Lexa paled instantly as blood suddenly gushed out of the entry wound. Clarke was loudly cursing as she tried to press something on the small wound, muttering something about a teared vessel.

The bright furs were coated quickly with the dark blood of the commander and Marie was shaking beside the bed unable to do anything to help. It was obvious Lexa was barely conscious anymore; her green eyes seemed clouded by pain and exhaustion.

It quickly became obvious that Clarke was not able to find the actual source of the bleeding. The arrow had obviously struck very deep inside Lexa’s body and she was unable to reach the teared up vessel; Lexa had groaned in obvious pain as Clarke had tried to search for it, feeling the wound with thin tweezers.

Titus suddenly seemed to have gotten pale and all collected. He dipped a finger inside the commander’s black blood drawing a line down his forehead with it, as he removed a small metal case from his robes. Marie watched in silent horror as he removed a small scalpel from it stepping closer to the bed and suddenly Marie remembered the flame and she gasped audibly.

Anya turned at the girl’s loud gasp and her brown eyes narrowed at the approaching flamekeeper. She had hoped that the wound would be easy to treat but it seemed like Lexa could actually die. In the utter chaos the general had completely forgotten about their charge and as her eyes landed on the pale girl she remembered the way the flowers had stood unharmed again after Marie had touched them.

Clarke looked totally desperate right now. She still tried to stop the blood flow but it was obvious that the commander was losing way too much blood right now. “You’re not allowed to die, Lexa” the healer said vehemently to the commander, commanding her to stay awake and alter; she knew that it was unlikely for Lexa to wake up again should she lose consciousness. “I need your spirit to stay where it is” she said, voice almost pleading now.

Anya intercepted Titus way knocking the scalpel from her hands. The flamekeeper looked at her with a shocked frown, the man had obviously not expected her to step into his way.

“No!” Anya thundered loudly and motioned for Marie to come nearer; she was aware of what Titus was planning to do and she could not allow him to perform the ascension ceremony. She saw Marie’s eyes widen with realization as well, it seemed the girl had forgotten her talent in the blur of shock as well.

Titus was livid now and Anya fought with him for a moment. She managed to knock the man with the handle of her dagger of his head, it was not enough to knock him out but he was at least dazed and kneeling on the floor.

Gustus was unsure of who to help at the moment. He had wished not to have to witness Lexa’s death for many years to come and the suddenness of the attack had surprised him.

“What are you doing?!” Clarke screamed at Anya as the general turned and simply ripped the second arrow from the commander’s body so that even more blood left her already weakened body. Lexa’s only response was another groan, it was obvious her strength was waning quickly now.

The general nearly pulled Marie over to the bed just as Titus stood on visibly wobbled feet.

Marie looked at Anya with widened eyes and her fingers shook visibly as she stretched them out to touch Lexa’s chest where one arrow had hit her. She felt the tumble in her mind fall silent immediately as calmness settled over her and Marie’s eyes closed.

Clarke, Titus and Gustus watched how the girl’s hand pressed to the commander’s chest suddenly seemed to glow on its own. Lexa hissed and her face contorted in obvious pain. A moment later Marie put her second hand to the commander’s back and the bleeding seemed to stop immediately.

When the girl pulled away her face was calm before she opened her eyes. Lexa had set up just as Marie launched herself at the commander, tears already streaming down her cheeks.

Anya sank down on the edge of the bed and looked between Clarke, Titus and Gustus. The burly man’s dark eyes were widened in obvious disbelief and his mouth seemed to hang slightly open in shock.

The flamekeeper stood almost frozen in front of the huge bed while Lexa seemed to catch her breath and enveloped the shaking girl in her arms, banding looks with Anya mutely, before her eyes fell on Clarke.

The blonde still kneeled on the bed and was looking between her hands which were coated in black blood and the commander’s back. She blinked in confusion and her mind must be whirling to decipher what had just happened. Her blue eyes suspiciously swam in moisture as if she was on the verge of tears.

Lexa tightened her arms around Marie minutely feeling Clarke’s hand on her back probably to look at the exit wound.

Anya pried the girl away from Lexa carefully and enveloped their charge in her own arms when finally let go of the commander.

Clarke lifted the commander’s shirt and inspected her head. The woman shook her head in utter disbelief “How is that possible?!” she asked with a shaking voice.

The commander’s back looked completely unharmed, no sign left behind of the gushing wound. Only a very pale scar was visible and Clarke needed a moment to actually find it. Her fingers shook notably against Lexa’s skin as she gingerly probed at the skin.

“Everything is healed, Clarke” Lexa said and her voice and poise was strong and calm as ever.

They seemed to stare at each other in silence for some time. While Lexa looked calm and collected it was obvious Clarke was anything but calm. A thunderstorm of emotion seemed to rage through her.

Titus’ dark eyes focused on Marie and his face was still showing his confusion. “This has happened before?” he asked.

No one answered him for a moment, before Lexa looked away from Clarke and stood from the bed. The blonde woman jumped up obviously intent to hold her back, but Lexa merely smirked at her for a moment before she turned from the other woman and faced her former teacher.

“Yes, it has” she answered simply waiting for him to make the connection between the poisoned dagger.

“She must be blessed by the spirit” the bald man mumbled after a moment and his face looked almost reverent, before his dark eyes flashed “The dagger…”

“No harm has been done” the commander interjected in a decisive tone before the flamekeeper could decide to advance on the girl. Marie sat with her face buried against Anya’s neck and her whole body still shook with deep sobs. Anya’s fingers carded through her blonde hair reassuringly while her brown eyes fell on the furs coated in the dark blood.

“Who has witnessed what has happened?” the commander asked. They would need to tread carefully now or Marie’s talent could become public knowledge and by thus painting an even bigger target on her back.

“A few guards” Anya answered “But word will have spread. The tower is under lockdown”.

Lexa visibly sighed. If they wished to keep her secret she would need to act wounded even though she was healthy again. The risk that someone would question what had happened was too great otherwise. Her green eyes took in the amount of dark blood on the furs; she had been closer to death than she thought.

“Can she heal anyone?” Titus asked as his dark eyes were still fixed on Marie’s form.

“No” Lexa answered quickly and saw a frown appear on her old teacher’s face.

“If word spreads about this…” the bald man started.

“Word about her talent cannot spread” the commander reasoned calmly; they would be unable to protect Marie from those wishing to either exploit her talent or to take these powers for themselves.

The flamekeeper nodded as Lexa commanded “Go to the conclave and tell them that I will survive. Handle the ambassadors as well”.

The flamekeeper nodded in agreement again and the commander could see honest relieve in the man’s dark eyes before he turned and left the room.

She also nodded to Gustus and was slightly surprised as the burly man came closer to her. The man looked deeply into her eyes as he squeezed her shoulder in silence. Lexa faintly smiled at him before he pulled back and returned to the door to guard the commander’s quarters.

Lexa looked at the arrows lying discarded on the furs, still strained with her blood. If they wished to keep up the image of an injury it would be easier if she actually were injured in a way. Making up her mind Lexa quickly took up the broken part of the arrow and placed it on the place on her chest where it had been before, with one strong push she let the tip pierce her skin again.

Marie was not seeing what was going on as Anya was still trying to calm the girl down and the general’s expression was grim as she watched Lexa wound herself again; she had already understood why it needed to be done.

Clarke had obviously not caught up with the commander’s way of thinking and looked at her in utter horror “What are you doing?!” her voice had a screeching quality to it.

Lexa visibly panted slightly as she pulled out the arrow again, she had not pushed it in deeply but deep enough for the wound to need a few days to heal completely. She would have asked Clarke to repeat the same process on her back, but the horror in her blue eyes made the commander rethink her decision and she turned to Anya instead. The general took the arrow with pursued lips, leaving one arm curled around Marie, she quickly pushed the arrow’s tip into Lexa’s flesh on the commander’s back.

Lexa’s green eyes were fixed on Clarke as Anya wounded her and the healer’s blue eyes seemed impossibly wide in her pale features. She tried not to hiss at the burning sensation as her general ripped the arrow out of the shallow wound again.

“I should dress that for you” Clarke said after a few moments and her voice shook notably. The commander nodded mutely and took off her shirt with tightly clenched together lips; although the wounds were not deep they still hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to know, what you think about the story turning sort of a lot darker in the upcoming chapters.  
> I have the next eight chapters already written. But I have planned out a huge part of the plot I envision and I have been told it is a huge contrast to what I have written so far. A lot of more action and not much fluff anymore at all.  
> I would like to know, if you as the readers are interested in this turn or not?  
> I would appreciate a short comment with your answers. If you are against this development, could you give me pointers, what you would like to read instead?


	136. Chapter 136

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 135  
> Lexa is shot by two arrows by assassins during training. Clarke tries to heal her but as the commander is bleeding out Marie saves the woman exposing her talent to Titus and Gustus as well.

Chapter 136

Clarke had excused herself quickly after winding bandages around Lexa’s torso. It was obvious the blonde woman was deeply shaken by what she had seen.

Lexa had tried to reassure her that her people would be protected by the next commander but to her great confusion her words seemed to have only worsened the blonde’s state of mind and the healer had almost stormed out of the commander’s quarters in a huff.

Lexa looked behind the retreating woman with confusion written over her face before she turned back to the bed and her eyes landed on the blood strained furs; they would need to be removed before they tainted even more of the furs beyond saving. She knew how hard the black blood was to wash out.

The commander hoped that Titus would be able to reassure the nightbloods that she would survive, knowing all too well how burdensome the looming conclave would be to the children.

The question of who had tried to assassinate her would need an answer as well. She guessed to already know the answer and it was probable that the culprits were send by queen Nia. She internally wondered why Ontari did not seem to have taken the chance to either finish her off or at least to start killing off the other nightbloods, making the conclave for herself easier afterwards.

“Anya” the commander addressed her general and their eyes connected instantly “Find out if the assassins have been caught” she ordered in a calm tone.

The other woman nodded immediately but it took her a moment to get Marie to let go of her. The emotions were clearer and deeper in the general’s brown eyes than Lexa had anticipated but she was much more controlled than Marie was. The girl looked shell shocked and her grey eyes looked almost haunted in her pale face as she looked at the furs strained with the commander’s black blood next to her.

“I will send a handmaid to have the furs removed” the general said with a tight smile to their charge before she strode through the room and left.

Marie looked almost lost sitting on the edge of the huge bed and Lexa saw her starting to scratch at her hands with widened eyes which did not seem to see anything at all. Risha had moved over to her human and laid her muzzle on the girl’s legs lowly whining under her breath for the girl’s attention, but Marie did not seem to even realize it.

Lexa shortly glanced at the door through which Clarke had vanished so quickly, almost as if the other woman had been fleeing from something. Her reaction puzzled Lexa greatly. As a healer the blonde would have been confronted with death and grave wounds before so there was no logical explanation to her reaction. It looked almost as if the blonde had been this shocked because the wounded was someone she cared for. Lexa vehemently shook her head, banishing the thought as quickly as it had risen in her mind. She looked back to Marie and Risha’s whining had grown to a low almost howl. Red blood was beginning to gather in the places where Marie had started to scratch open the skin of her hands.

The commander felt the tug of the freshly caused wounds in her body, but the wounds were shallow and would heal quickly. Although she trusted her guards and handmaidens she still did not wish for them to know what had transpired here, with every additional soul who knew of Marie’s talents the girl would only be in graver danger.

Lexa walked the slight distance back to the bed and crouched down in front of Marie, shooing Risha away with a gesture. With an almost offended sounding howl the wolf relented and made place for the woman.

“Marie” Lexa calmly addressed their charge, placing her own hands over Marie’s and by thus stopping her frantic scratching for the moment. The girl seemed to stare right through her and Lexa was worried by her unresponsive state. Tears were still running down the girl’s cheeks, but she cried in absolute silence now. Her face had visibly paled and Lexa thought that the girl looked almost physically drained.

“ _Little star”_ Lexa tried again after long moments of gently letting her fingers glide over the girl’s knuckles and not getting any response from her.

Marie blinked a few times, before she sobbed loudly and almost gasped for air, as if waking up from haze.

“It is alright” Lexa reassured squeezing the girl’s hands between her own.

“You…” Marie gasped, gulping in huge bouts of air “…you almost…”

“Sssh…” Lexa soothed in a gentle tone “Hush, Marie”.

The commander lightly pulled at the girl’s hands pulling her up from the bed and guiding her around it with slow steps, feeling the bandages shift slightly over her torso. Although she did feel some discomfort she was aware that the actual wounds would have hurt far worse.

She pushed the blood strained furs over the edge of the bed before Lexa sat down and pulled Marie down with her. The girl instantly nestled into her side curling up there; she had removed her armour before Clarke dressed her torso and had redressed into a fresh pair of soft pants and a lose shirt that hung off her shoulders, letting the bandages peek out on purpose.

Lexa felt the girl’s tears dampening her neck, but she only held Marie close in silence, letting her hand caress her back soothingly. It still seemed to take their charge long moments until she finally cried herself to sleep.

Sometime later a pair of handmaidens entered preceded by Alira. The older woman’s features were riddled with honest worry and Lexa knew she was not necessarily worried about the commander but rather about herself as a person.

Lexa met her probing gaze calmly and inclined her head mutely indicating to the other woman that all was well, and she could cease her obvious worries.

The younger handmaidens gathered the bloody furs silently and carried them out with quick strides, removing the traces of what had happened from the commander’s quarters.

Alira picked up the arrow which Clarke had pulled from her back. Lexa could see her eyes widening as she took in the length of the shaft which was sullied by her black blood, indicating that the arrow had lodged itself deeply within the commander’s body.

“Do you need anything?” the woman asked after swallowing visibly and although she seemed to force her face into calmness, her features did not obey completely and still portrayed her worry for the young commander.

Lexa shook her head with the ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Careful to keep the rest of her body still lest she woke up Marie again.

The handmaiden nodded although reluctance was easy to read on her face, but she knew she had basically been dismissed by Lexa’s denial. Lexa watched the woman leave taking both arrows with her. The arrows themselves had been simple, no carving visible and the feathers stemmed from common birds which could be found in lands of many clans. So, there was no sign of their origin on them.

The girl’s body laid heavy and limp against Lexa’s torso. After Marie had healed her all tiredness had left Lexa’s senses instantly, but she was resigned to wait and offer comfort to their charge.

The commander had no idea how much time had passed before the doors to her quarters were pushed open again; it felt as if she had barely let her eyes fall close. Lexa furrowed her brow as she spotted Clarke stepping foot into her rooms again. The other woman did not have any supplies in hand, so she was obviously not here as a healer. Lexa looked down at Marie and found the girl still asleep, a peaceful and content expression had taken over her features as the child relaxed in slumber, but the silver tracks of her tears were still visible on her cheeks and dark shadows seemed to have formed under her eyes.

Carefully and slowly Lexa entangled herself from Marie, halting for a moment when the girl began to stir even the slightest bit.

The commander stepped over from the bed towards Clarke motioning the other woman to follow her out onto the balcony. She barely felt the coldness of the stones beneath her feet as she stepped outside barefoot. Lexa turned around on the balcony, pulling the door ajar behind them after checking one last time that her charge was indeed still asleep on the bed.

“Marie has done this before?” Clarke repeated the question Titus had already asked some time ago.

Lexa nodded mutely. She doubted Clarke would try to exploit the younger girl’s talent in any way but it was obvious that the healer was still upset and the commander was unsure on how to deal with the other woman at the moment. They had barely seen each other over the last weeks after Lincoln’s and Octavia’s bonding. Lexa had heard that the people of Polis had started to see Clarke as a gifted and kind-hearted woman, seeing a different side of the blonde woman then the legendary Wanheda. She had been sure the blonde was only staying in Polis because she enjoyed acting as a healer and it allowed her to stay away from her own people to whom she obviously still had no wish to return.

“What did Titus mean with “the dagger”?” Clarke asked after it became clear that the commander was hesitant to offer up any additional information. Clarke had spent the last hours in her quarters trying frantically to calm her racing heart and thoughts. She had grown up surrounded by science and there was absolutely no logical explanation to how Marie had been able to completely heal wounds like this or any wounds for that matter. She had read about people gifted with the talent of healing, but that had been fictional stories, or so Clarke had been convinced until now.

Lexa sighed under her breath, deciding to stay honest with the other woman. It might even help Clarke to hear that someone else had held onto a grudge against her person as well. So, Lexa explained what had happened “…so Arla gave Marie a dagger. The blade had been dipped into one of the deadliest poisons known to my people, even an antidote should not be able to save someone poisoned with it. The handmaid had used Marie’s anger and hurt at being handed over at the Mountain and turned it into blind rage” the commander said. She had averted her eyes from Clarke and was looking over the streets of Polis beneath them. “The handmaid brought the message that Marie had asked to see me. I had not seen her conscious since the Mountain” Lexa remembered with an almost bitter expression “I had been at her bedside every night after the meetings finally adjourned, but how should she have known that?” The commander stopped for a moment and felt Clarke’s gaze heavily on her face; she felt almost uncomfortably exposed by her probing stare.

“I called a halt to the meeting and went up to my quarters. Looking forward to finally seeing Marie again. It had almost looked as if Marie’s wounds would be permanent from the Mountain. She caught me off guard with her anger” the commander admitted lowly “The burning hate in her grey eyes surprised me and I did not see the flash of the small blade in her hands until it was almost too late. I took a step back in the last moment, but the blade had still grazed my forearm”.

Lexa stopped again, breathing out a deep sigh as the memory of Marie’s face twisted in hate flashed up in her mind. “I felt the poison running through my veins almost instantly. Marie had no idea what she had done” Lexa said, remembering the girl’s grey eyes widened in horror.

Clarke sucked in a loud gasp of air “She poisoned you?” there was disbelief in her tone.

Lexa shook her head decisively “She had not been aware of the poison on the blade. Arla had convinced Marie that she needed to make me bleed to get revenge for my betrayal” she sighed again and added almost bitterly “I would have gladly offered her some blood.” 

“And she healed you?” Clarke asked obviously uncomfortable with shift in the other woman’s mood.

Lexa nodded “I already felt how my limps got heavy and colder. Breathing got difficult and I felt something tugging at my mind, before it felt as if fire was flowing through my veins. When the burning receded I felt revived, refreshed even. There was no sign of the shallow graze on my forearm.”

Clarke nodded with a thoughtful expression “Can she heal anyone?”

Lexa shook her head “No, she apparently could not heal you”.

“Me?” Clarke echoed with a furrowed brow.

“She tried to heal you after Anya had found you” Lexa explained with a far-away look on her features. She could not push the memory from her mind of Marie almost dying in the medical bay of Arkadia.

Clarke’s blue eyes widened “Her aneurysm was caused by this?” her voice had a slightly shrill quality to it.

Lexa inclined her head “We are not sure. But it seems reasonable” worry flashed over the commander’s features “She seems exhausted right now as well”.

“You almost died” Clarke said after long moments of silence and her tone was faint “I would not have been able to stop the bleeding in time”.

“I am well, Clarke” Lexa reassured and after a moment she added “And as I already told you your people will be protected by the next commander now that Skykru is part of the coalition”. She knew that would become questionable if Ontari or Kato won the conclave, but Lexa was still convinced that Aden would be chosen as the next vessel.

Clarke’s blue eyes flashed with emotion too quick for Lexa to decipher. “For god’s sake, Lexa” she almost thundered “I did not care about the commander dying, I …” she stopped for a moment.

Lexa had turned back to Clarke fully and her green eyes were wide as well, as a furrow settled between her brows. Although she tried to reign in her thoughts and forbid them to stray, the commander instantly hoped to know what the blonde wanted to say. Lexa slightly held her breath in anticipation, aware that Clarke’s next words would be setting the tone to their upcoming conversations.

It seemed as if the stubbornness was draining out of Clarke’s features and Lexa had not seen this softness in the other’s features since the Mountain.

“Dammit Lexa, don’t you understand that I care about you?” the blonde exhaled forcefully, and her blue eyes seemed to search for something in Lexa’s features.

Lexa was trying hard to control her own features, but she doubted she was succeeding completely to mask her emotion. She had not allowed herself to long and dream about the blonde leader to ever feel anything besides hate and anger for her ever again and she hoped her mind had not played a trick on her and Clarke had in fact said, what she thought to have heard.

“You do?” the commander breathed, her voice wavering audibly.

“I do, damn!” Clarke said flicking a stray of hair from her face in obvious annoyance. Her features clearly showed the conflict which was still waging war in her mind.

Lexa swallowed forcefully. There were so many things swirling in her mind that she desperately longed to say to Clarke and yet her lips remained sealed together, afraid whatever she said would unsettle the blonde woman again.

“I have tried so hard to hate you, Lexa” she said, and her blue eyes were burning, the anger resurfacing briefly, and Lexa already steeled herself for the eruption of the other’s anger. “And I did hate you, but it has become so exhausting to hold on to that hate…” her words faded into the harsh wind around them slowly.

Lexa’s green eyes were raw and open when Clarke met her gaze, challenging the commander to say something but Lexa still stayed utterly silent.

“And after watching your blood seep through my fingers and fearing you would be dying on me there…” Clarke said after another long silent moment between them “… I was afraid, Lexa” she admitted “Afraid to lose you, before we could have ever begun”.

Lexa was always so eloquent. She had held what felt like thousands of speeches. She knew how to spur on her warriors, how to speak her condolence to the bereaved, how to handle the ambassadors squabbling amongst themselves. And she internally cursed herself that her words failed her now. She was for probably the first time in her life utterly speechless. In her imagination she would have never come up with what had happened just now, and her mind was still whirling around wildly trying to process Clarke’s change of mind. It sounded almost as if Clarke still believed that something more than friendship could grow again between them. Lexa had not allowed herself to even entertain the mere thought of a romance with Clarke after the Mountain.

It was obvious her continued silence was unnerving to Clarke and impatience was starting to etch itself into the blonde’s features. “Say something, Lexa” the young woman almost pleaded.

“I …” the commander started to say searching frantically for the right words to express what she was feeling.

Clarke exhaled visibly, and she seemed to deflate. She took a step back from the other woman; Lexa had not even realized that they had gotten closer. “I will just leave then” the blonde said in an almost bitter tone laced with resignation.

As she turned around Lexa’s hand shot out and gingerly held her wrist stopping the other woman in her tracks. Clarke turned back around to the commander with an almost hopeful expression.

“I had never dared to believe that you would ever care for me” she admitted honestly to the first thought which flashed through her mind and her voice was uncharacteristically soft.

Clarke’s mouth turned into a slight smile and as she glanced down at her wrist which was still encased in the commander’s fingers, Lexa let go abruptly with a slight blush dusting over her cheeks.

“I would not have thought to ever admit it aloud. Least of all to you” Clarke mused with another sigh. After another moment her face fell slightly “I have still not forgiven you” and her voice sounded almost tinted with regret.

Lexa felt a painful tug in her heart and she nodded with a lump in her throat; she had not expected forgiveness from the blonde leader.

“I do not know if I ever can…” Clarke wondered exhaling loudly.

Lexa felt her shoulders drop slightly aware of what the other woman’s words must mean and the slight heartbreak she felt at the realization that Clarke may have feeling for her but that she singles handily had destroyed every chance for happiness with Clarke must have shown clearly on her face.

Lexa watched Clarke grind her teeth together and she blinked as if she was overcome by emotion. A moment later the blonde woman stepped into the commander’s personal space and Lexa’s brows furrowed involuntary in honest confusion.

Lexa’s green eyes widened slightly as Clarke suddenly stood on the tips of her toes and pressed her lips softly against the commander’s mouth. The touch was fleeting and soft and barely there, but Lexa felt something awaken again inside her heart, something she had tried and failed to lock away for all times.

“…but I want to try” Clarke breathed as their forehead touched. The blonde woman had never seen such an expression of open wonder on the commander’s serene face and in this moment, she had never looked farer removed from the powerful leader than ever. Her lips were pulled upwards in a smile, so strongly that a small crease had formed between the woman’s upper lip and nose. Clarke found it adorable. Her green eyes seemed to swim in unshed tears and Clarke hoped they were tears of relieve and happiness. When she tilted her head down slightly Clarke saw that the commander was still barefoot.

“You need to get back into bed” she admonished lightly “You will catch a cold like this”.

Lexa grinned slightly and shook her head “I do not get sick easily, Clarke” their foreheads were still touching.

Sounds of distress pulled them apart suddenly. Marie was obviously caught in the throes of a nightmare.

“You should still rest, commander” Clarke said taking a slight step back with an upturn of her lips and a tease in her voice.

“If that is your command, healer” Lexa bantered with a smile.


	137. Chapter 137

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 136  
> Lexa tries to calm down Marie. Clarke seeks out Lexa admitting to still feel for the other woman.

Chapter 137

Lexa watched Clarke leave her quarters for a moment before she turned around and faced the bed. Her own mind was a whirlwind of various thoughts now, but the girl needed her now, so the commander pushed all tumultuous thoughts from her mind for now. Marie was twisting and turning under the furs, her young face scrunched into a panicked grimace and cold sweat stuck a few blonde locks to her forehead. Lexa could only try to understand how traumatic the recent events must have been for their charge.

Careful not to jostle the bandages bound around her body too much, Lexa climbed onto the bed beside Marie and tried to stop her frantic movements by taking hold of the girl’s flailing arms and pulling her smaller body into a tight embrace.

The girl whimpered like a wounded animal as she finally resurfaced from her nightmare and her grey eyes were widened and filled with endless panic. Marie began fighting against the arms which were restraining her, and Lexa tried to sooth the girl as best as she could, whispering reassurances into her ears for a few moments until her erratic breathing started to turn back to normal.

Marie still looked visibly shaken and pale when recognition returned to her grey eyes and her gaze instantly sought out the bandages bound around the commander’s body.

“I am here, Marie” Lexa tried to reassure her in a soft tone and gently whipped a tear from the girl’s clammy cheek.

“You almost died” Marie breathed in a wavering voice and moisture gathered in her grey orbs again before she uttered “You did…in my dream”.

“I am here and well, Marie” Lexa repeated in a steady tone and pulled the girl’s body more firmly into an embrace so that the girl could lay her head against her chest and listen to her steady heartbeat. The gesture seemed to calm Marie as much as Lexa had hoped it would. She felt the girl take in a few shuddering breaths until she wound her smaller arms around her neck and answered the embrace.

“You are not allowed to die” Marie whispered against the skin of Lexa’s neck.

The commander held her breath for a long moment, stunned silent by the girl’s words and all too aware that she could not make a promise on her own survival. “One day my fight will end, Marie” Lexa said in a matter of fact tone and although her words may not have been sympathetic, her green eyes were soft and gentle still. “But it has not ended today” she said and brushed some hair from the girl’s forehead.

Marie leaned into the gentle caress with a content sigh and a slight smile settled onto her lips. Her features turned sober again only a short moment later, “What will happen now?” the girl wanted to know in a curious tone.

“Anya will probably bring word soon about who has made the attempt on my life” Lexa answered easily, keeping her eyes gentle. The commander felt anger coursing through her veins, if it had not been for Marie’s talent she would have bleed to death a few hours ago and the people of Polis would be preparing for the rise of a new commander. Although this had not been the first, nor surely the last, assassination attempt made on her Lexa had felt more content in the last weeks than she had in a long time. She had believed that the hard cold season would force her remaining opponents to put their plans into halt at least until the snow melted. This had given her an illusion of security and the assassins had come dangerously close to accomplishing their goals, rudely shattering the illusion of safety.

Lexa hypothesized that the assassins would have been sent by Ice Nation but before they had definite proof, there was no way of knowing that for sure. She would need to speak with Roan and Ontari soon. It already gnawed at her mind that she would be forced to sit idle and do nothing until at least a few days had passed otherwise the danger of exposing Marie’s talent would be too great.

“So, there will be more executions” Marie mused lowly in a rather flat tone.

Lexa would have expected to spot some amount of sullenness or at least frustration on the girl’s face. It had been obvious that watching executions was nothing Marie enjoyed and Lexa highly doubted that this would change. But Marie appeared accepting of what was bound to happen. Assassins rarely were captured alive, they had been briefed to kill themselves rather than taking the risk to break under the pressure of torture, so Lexa highly doubted that anyone would be caught alive.

She explained the same thing to Marie and the only thing the girl commented on was that this “makes sense”. Often enough it was not possible to identify from which clan assassins came from, so it might remain totally unclear on who had tried to kill the commander.

“And what happens now that others know as well that I can heal you?” Marie asked into the silence that had settled between them. It was obvious Marie was content still in the tight embrace and Lexa doubted that girl wished to let go yet.

“Nothing in particular” Lexa answered “We will need to be even more cautious now. Neither Anya nor I wish for you to be in even graver danger, but I trust Gustus, Titus and Clarke not to exploit your talent”.

Marie nodded with a thoughtful expression but remained silent. “I guess Titus will not wish to send me away anymore now” the girl mused after another moment of silence.

The corners of Lexa’s mouth curled into the ghost of a smile as she shook her head “No, he certainly will not”. But that was probably the only positive outcome of what had happened. Even in her own mind she knew that thought to be wrong, Clarke would certainly not have thought about the possibility of something between them otherwise. Still, the commander could not shake the twinge of worry that only shock and adrenaline had spoken out of the blonde healer. It was still possible for the other woman to sober up and recognize the impossibility of their situation. Lexa sighed under her breath fearing that another heartbreak was awaiting her, and it would be something she would be utterly defenceless against.

Lexa felt Marie’s body relax against herself as she gently let her fingers stroke over the girl’s back in a soothing pattern as silence settled between them again. She was not sure if Marie had fallen asleep again or not, but the girl had closed her eyes some time ago.

Lexa stayed in the bed together with Marie battling with her own thoughts in her head. She was worried. Worried about the state of her people. The assassination attempt would have been witnessed by at least some citizens and if not the actual attempt, people were bound to have seen her brought back into the tower, barely able to walk anymore.

Word would have spread by now through the cities and the first vendors would have already left the city spreading rumours about their commander’s probable death to the nearing villages. Lexa dearly hoped that panic would not spread through the streets. She would need to show herself as soon as possible to quell the uncertainty of her people. In times of fear and uncertainty it was easier to sow discontent and her coalition was not as stable as she wished.

Her thoughts kept on circling around what needed to be done to assure order until Anya returned. Several hours had passed and the frustration edged deeply into the older woman’s features was enough to tell Lexa without any words that they had failed in their attempts to locate the assassins.

Anya looked wary and cracked the knuckles of her fingers until they cracked loudly, obviously easing some of her tension.

Marie did not steer in Lexa’s arms, so the commander judged the girl to have drifted back to sleep. She had not stopped stroking her back and Lexa carefully slid out under Marie, waiting a few moments to be sure not to wake her again.

“She looks pale” Anya observed with worry apparent in her brown eyes as she took off her cloak. It must have started to snow again as the cloak was covered in a layer of snowflakes which also glistened in the general’s hair.

Lexa nodded and tucked a fur around Marie’s body to keep the girl warm, before she turned from the bed and stepped over to one of the armchairs. Risha looked up from the fireplace and trotted over to the commander, sitting down at her feet and lying her muzzle on her knees, clearly wanting to get petted. Lexa lightly scratched the animal behind her ears “Marie is shaken by what has happened and she seems exhausted. Healing me seems to have taken a lot out of her”.

“One assassin is still being haunted” Anya said “The other was found dead. Poison probably. No means to identify his origin”.

Lexa nodded, sighing lowly under her breath; in truth she had not expected another outcome.

“Word had spread already” Anya reported with annoyance clear in her tone “By now it will have peddled to you being shot by at least twenty arrows”.

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose. That was exactly what she had feared would happen. “I need to hold a meeting with the ambassadors as quickly as possible” she proclaimed.

Anya raised a brow in silent criticism “I thought we agreed to keep up appearances of your injury”.

“Yes” Lexa relented “But if the assassins have been sent by queen Nia, which I am convinced of, she will just be waiting to strike as long as she assumes me weakened”.

The general nodded in silent agreement to both statements, but that still did not change the fact that they needed to protect Marie.

“How long do you expect me to sit idle and do nothing?” Lexa almost seethed through clenched teeth.

Anya sighed under her breath, rolling her eyes at her former seconds obvious lack of patience “You have been seen to be wounded, severely wounded at that. It would not be expected of you to be able to move for some time now. But you should ask Clarke about how much time would be appropriate”.

Lexa huffed. The wounds she now had were only superficial and even if Clarke had been able to stop the bleeding, she would not lie around for weeks and wait for her body to heal. She was the commander and she was needed, and she needed to show strength and not weakness to her people.

Lexa forcefully exhaled a deep breath, trying to calm the anger she felt, she was aware it was misguided towards Anya and the older woman was not deserving of her short temper. She did not wish to ask Clarke for her input in the matter, Lexa was uncharacteristically unsure of how the next time they faced each other would come to play out.

“Why do you think it tired her out now?” Anya questioned, efficiently pulling the commander from her thoughts.

Lexa shook her head in the negative “I do not know. And I doubt we will ever understand how her talent truly works.”

“Titus seems to have chalked it off to Marie “being gifted by the spirits”” Anya remarked with a light frown.

“It does matter not where here power comes from” Lexa commented with another slight shake of her head. It would be useless to waste energy trying to figure out the mechanism and the origin of the girl’s power. She did not know if Clarke would be satisfied with this simple answer though, she had clearly shown interest before already.

“The nightbloods need to be reassured that I will live as well” Lexa said after a moment of silence.

Anya raised a brow in silent question “I thought Titus would do so”.

Lexa huffed “And you think Titus will efficiently do so?” The flamekeeper had never been very sympathetic in his wording and Lexa knew how the nightbloods must be feeling right now. They would anxiously be waiting to hear the horn blow, signalling the death of the commander.

“They can be called here” Lexa suggested. She wanted to ease the children’s worries as soon as possible.

Anya sighed lowly in reaction “Lexa, we should wait with that at least for a day or two. If it puts your mind at ease, I will speak with them myself”.

“It would” Lexa admonished in a gentler tone and her green eyes looked almost apologetic.

Anya huffed, containing another eyeroll and stood up again. It would be a few long days to come with Lexa confined to her quarters, obviously fearing already that chaos would erupt in her coalition in her absence.

Marie was still sleeping peacefully on the bed, so Lexa picked up her journal from the table and started to write down what had occurred during the morning. Although Lexa tried to focus on the assassination attempt, her mind kept on drifting back to the soft press of Clarke’s lips against her own. She had been entirely caught off guard by the blonde’s move. Lexa involuntary felt hope blossom inside her heart, hope that something between her and Clarke might still develop.

With an annoyed frown Lexa shook her head at the train of her own thoughts. She needed to focus, she could not allow Clarke to become a distraction for her. No matter how much she might wish for it otherwise, the duty to her people would always have to come first. The commander highly doubted that the leaders of the coalition would take kindly to a romance between her and Wanheda. If something truly was to grow between them, they would need to be discreet about it, as long as the Ice Nation was not dealt with and the coalition still remained unstable.

Although she had not expected another outcome of the search for the assassins and their origin, the commander was still annoyed by the lack of proof. With an impatient huff Lexa closed her journal again, letting the book fall onto the couch next to her. She pulled her legs up, now sitting cross-legged on the sofa. Lexa ignored the painful tugging of her wounds as she straightened her spine and closed her eyes, trying to fall into the relaxation of a deep mediation.

Lexa was snapped out of her mediation some time later when Anya returned, and the door fell closed behind her general with a resonating click. The commander crunched her brows in confusion when she spotted Marie curled onto the sofa beside herself. Their charge must have woken up again and tiptoed over. How the girl had managed to slip on the couch and to lay her head on Lexa’s legs without her noticing, was beyond her understanding now.

“She seems comfy” Anya commented with a playful smirk, thinking that their charge must have fallen asleep again.

But the girl’s grey eyes opened a second later and judging from the state of alert in them, she had been awake the whole time. Lexa internally wondered when it had become routine for Marie to just seek one of them out to cuddle, because there simply was no other word for what the girl obviously wanted at the moment.

Her face must have shown some irritation, because Marie scrambled to sit up again with a slightly sheepish expression on her face, which was still paler than usual.

“You do know that Lexa is no piece of furniture?” Anya teased the girl, playfulness still dancing in her brown eyes.

Marie obviously still failed to fully grasp the general’s sense of humour and the girl nodded quickly as she slid away on the sofa into a corner, pulling the fur tightly around her small frame.

The commander glared slightly at the older woman, she had already tried to explain to her mentor that Marie did not seem to cope very well with her sometimes sharp comments. After the shock of the day the girl was obviously even more fragile than normal, and Lexa motioned the girl back to lean against herself with a mute gesture.

The girl smiled softly as she followed the commander’s nonverbal offering and her smile got bigger as Lexa started to gently stroke over her back.

Anya rolled her eyes at the open affection the commander was showing to their charge. She allowed Marie to seek comfort from her in bed as well, but she did not believe that cuddling the girl, like Lexa was doing now, was wise. They wanted her to grow up strong and develop into the best warrior she could, but the girl seemed to have gotten more of a daughter of sorts to them in the last weeks. Of course, they still trained her, and Marie was making good progress, but Anya was still unused to the concept of living this closely together with a second; Lexa and Tris had both already been much more independent at Marie’s age and did not require any physical reassurances from her.

Lexa could almost read the other woman’s thoughts on her features as the emotions flashed through her brown eyes. Almost seeing her die must have shook Anya more extensively than Lexa had anticipated. It was a sharp reminder to both of them that their peace was short lived, the sense of security that had lulled them in the capitol was nothing but a delusion and that her life as the commander was always at risk.

Marie would not understand yet what was at stake. And yet, although Lexa understood it all clearly, she wished to experience for herself what she was fighting so hard for her people. She had sacrificed her revenge against the Ice Queen for her people. She wished to see her people flourish, to lead them into a time of true peace. A time, where children would be able to play safely without the force to form them into warriors before they were ready. A time, where knowledge and trade would be as valuable as a sword was now.

She could still feel the ghost of Clarke’s soft lips pressed against hers and Lexa wished nothing more, than to have a real chance to find love again. She had resigned herself to a live of loneliness but now that she had gotten a taste from the life she could have, filled with contentment and joy, she knew that she would fight even harder to keep hold of that life.

Even though Clarke may have given her a chance at a new love, a chance Lexa had truthfully never thought to be gifted with again after being robbed of Costia, Marie had changed her life in other ways. To her knowledge no commander had settled down and started a family. The nightbloods had always been the only children a commander would have in a sense. But Marie was different. She had wormed herself deeply into hers and Anya’s hearts, blurring the lines between a first and a second with every passing day and now she was more a daughter to them than anything else and Lexa could not bring herself to find fault in that fact.    


	138. Chapter 138

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> I am going on holiday for two weeks tomorrow. So there won't be any updates for the next two weeks.  
> And a big thanks to all, who keep on writing reviews =) They truly make my day and continue to keep me motivated to write.
> 
> Previously in chapter 137  
> Lexa takes care of Marie as the girl is visibly shaken by the commander almost dying. Lexa recognizes how the girl has stopped being simply their second but become more of a daughter.

Chapter 138

Lexa’s mood deteriorated with every passing hour of her confinement to her quarters. Three days had passed since the attempt had been made on the commander’s life and every hour since then felt like torture to her. She was not used to being forced to stay in her quarters for several days when she was needed otherwise.

Anya had gone to a few meetings with the ambassadors, upholding order within the capitol together with Titus. No matter how much the general and flamekeeper assured their commander that everything was still under control, Lexa found it hard to believe them.

Marie was the only one keeping her company constantly and the girl seemed to be totally immune to her declining mood. But while Anya’s and Titus’ reasonings seemed to only incense the young commander, Marie was somehow able to calm Lexa again.

It was not just the fact that Lexa had started to feel like a caged animal within her quarters, but also the fact that Clarke had not come to see her once since their second kiss and Lexa could not stop her mind conjuring the worst possible outcomes now.

She had started to fear that Clarke would suddenly decide to leave the capitol. The blonde’s absence could only mean one thing in the commander’s mind, namely that she regretted what she had done.

Lexa longed to summon the blonde into her quarters and by thus force her to speak with her again, but she doubted that would go over well with the fiery blonde. The other option would be to visit her quarters, but Lexa ruled that out as well, she had agreed with Anya that she would at least spend two or three more days within her quarters.

Currently Anya was outside training with her unit. Lexa had despatched Marie to accompany the general to be left alone for once, she had thought to feel some relieve, but surprisingly being totally alone with her own thoughts made it even harder. She had even shooed Risha from her quarters, sending the wolf outside with Anya and their charge.

Marie had been reluctant to leave Lexa’s side and only relented under the commander’s harsh glare. Although the girl had tried hard to ignore Lexa’s declining mood, she was not immune to her scowls and glares.

But it was not only Lexa who seemed to be in a bad mood, Anya’s nerves seemed rather frayed as well.

“Marie!” Anya shouted, knocking the girl from her feet with a well-aimed strike. The general was annoyed with the girl’s lacking attention at the training.

Marie groaned slightly under her breath, rubbing the back of her head gingerly.

“You need to keep your focus” the general lectured in a harsh tone “You are slacking”.

“I am not” the girl grumbled under her breath, obviously sulking.

Anya’s brown eyes flashed angrily at her charge’s cheek, and she knocked the staff from the girl’s hands by hitting her fingers.

Marie yelped in a mixture of shocked surprise and obvious pain, letting the staff clatter to the ground at her feet. She looked down at her fingers with widened eyes, blood was flowing from her knuckles, which had split open at the unexpected impact.

“Pick up your staff” Anya commanded strictly already facing the girl and waiting to attack again.

Marie gritted her teeth and bend down to pick up the staff.

But she was not moving fast enough to the general’s liking and Anya placed a strike against the girl’s back of her knees, knocking her down again efficiently.

“Ouch!” the girl exclaimed, and her face showed open accusation now, which only served to anger Anya even more.

Anya looked down at her charge with unmasked impatience. In her eyes the girl was not into training at all at the moment. She had gotten too comfortable in her routine and now seemed to prefer cuddling with Lexa on the sofa and listening to the commander tell her stories, compared to having to train. She would never get a powerful warrior like this and Anya felt like they were failing the girl. She did not know exactly why she was so frustrated with the girl at the moment, but she just was. Giving in to her frustration Anya laid back into the girl, knocking her from her feet again relentlessly and snarling at her to get back up again.

It went on like that for some time. Anya striking Marie down, the girl struggling to get back up and Anya attacking again before Marie even had time to attempt to defend herself.

After some time, Marie had seemingly enough, she threw the staff at Anya with a huff. Her features a mixture of rage, frustration and pain.

Anya raised a brow at the girl, glaring at her harshly. “Pick that up right now!” she snarled angrily, her eyes glittering with silent rage.

“No” the girl said, obviously trying hard not to cower under her mentor’s intense stare.

Other warriors had stopped their training and were watching the general and her second.

When Marie turned away from Anya, obviously intent on leaving the training pits, Anya intercepted the girl in her way, pushing her back hard.

“I have not allowed you to leave” Anya seethed, surprised at the girl’s antics “Training is not finished yet”.

“I don’t wanna train anymore” the girl exclaimed, looking at Anya almost pleadingly. She had no idea, why Anya was so angry with her right now, but she wanted to get away right now.

Anya gnashed her teeth together mutely for a moment, only her eyes betraying the anger coursing through her veins, at being defied like that. She could not remember Lexa or Tris ever trying to get away from training like this.

“You will train now!” she seethed loudly “You are weak! And your behaviour is undeserving of being the commander’s and my second”. Anya had taken the girl’s shoulders and shook her body to ingrain some sense back into her.

Marie’s eyes widened for a moment, before they flashed defiantly “I hate you!” the girl exclaimed with glittering eyes.

Anya let go of the girl as if burned by her skin and took a surprised step back from her charge. Her anger diminishing almost instantly.

Tears had filled up the girl’s grey eyes and she let the staff fall to the ground again, whirling around and running away from the stunned general.

“Marie!” Anya called behind the girl after she had found her voice again. She blinked in honest confusion at what had just happened.

Gustus had stood beside the training pit, having engaged in some training himself, and he now stopped Anya from following behind the clearly upset girl.

“Let her cool off” the burly man advised. He could remember several instances himself, where one of his children had uttered the same sentiment towards him when they were angry at him, so Gustus knew very well not to take the girl’s words very seriously. He could already imagine Marie coming back, probably crying as she did, desperately wanting to apologize and make sure that Anya was not angry with her, assuring her that she had not meant the words in the first place. Sierra had done so as well, years ago, but his daughter had not come back crying, but rather presenting prey to him, as a sign of apology.

Judging from the way the general’s features had paled and how exhausted the woman now looked, Anya was lacking the same experience. But Gustus did not doubt for one second that Anya would forgive Marie instantly later.

“You know that words fuelled by anger are not always true” Gustus admonished the general, steering her away from the training pits, away from the prying eyes still watching the woman’s every move.

Anya snorted under her breath, frustration flashing through her brown eyes. Her frustration became even more evident, when she as much as threw the training staffs back onto their receptive storing rack and the glare she sent the offending wooden staffs, when they fell to the ground again, could have set them aflame instantly.

“And I had thought children and drunk tend to be the most honest” Anya retorted angrily, turning her glare against Gustus. The girl’s last words kept on repeating in her mind non-stop.

The burly man had a smile twitching at his lips, clearly fighting hard against it, as he said “Not angry children, no. She has clearly shown before how deeply she cares for you. Marie was just angry at how harsh and unrelenting you were with her today. The girl is not the fault of your frustration, Anya, and it is ill placed with her.”

Anya gnashed her teeth together in silent frustration for a moment, before her features lost most of her anger and she looked more desperate than anything else. The general looked around and found too many people still watching them, so she led Gustus in the direction of some orchard. The trees had lost their foliage before the cold season had set in, but the orchard was mostly deserted now and did not offer much spaces as a hide out place.

Gustus followed the general in silence for a few moments, it was obvious that the woman’s thoughts were racing wildly and that she needed a moment to gather herself.

Anya stopped her quick movements abruptly and although there was a certain amount of sadness was visible in her eyes, frustration dominated her features. “I was not harsher with her than I need to be” Anya justified her training moodily.

Gustus raised a brow in mock surprise “Need to be?”

“She is weak, too weak” Anya retorted strongly, anger still coursing hotly through her veins, she pushed the hurt the girl’s words had caused in the far corner of her mind.

“Too weak for what?” Gustus questioned and after a moment he added “What is really troubling your mind, Anya?” It was rare for them to speak this openly with each other, but they had known each other for years and a certain amount of trust and even friendship had grown between them.

Anya huffed under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest, before she exhaled forcefully, and some pent-up tension seemed to leave her body. “Too many people already know off what she can do. She won’t be able to protect herself…” Anya finally admitted.

Gustus sighed and nodded warily. Although he had witnessed the healing Marie had performed on the commander, it was still hard for him to grasp the idea of such a talent. He knew that the other woman was correct, should the girl’s talent become public knowledge she would be hunted by many trying to exploit her power. “You still won’t be able to make a skilled warrior out of her in one training session, Anya” Gustus remarked cautiously. He could sympathise with the reason for her harshness, in all honesty the other woman was afraid for her charge.

“She should be stronger already. She must be as the commander’s second” Anya reasoned, her voice taking on a hint of anger again.

Gustus sighed again “Marie is more than a second to both of you”.

Anya looked at the burly man sharply “But she should not”. The words sounded wrong to her own ears, but maybe if she kept on pushing the girl to her limits and efficiently pushed her away, she would still be able to perform her duty as the girl’s first and make her the best warrior possible.

“Stop whatever you are thinking” Gustus interrupted the general. It was easy for him to read the other woman’s intention at the subtle hardening of her jaw and as harshness infused her brown eyes. “You three are more to each other than first and second, have been for some time now. What is it you fear suddenly?”

Anya’s eyes turned even harder now “I fear nothing” and her voice was as cold as ice.

Gustus merely rolled his eyes at the other woman “Of course you are above fear, general” he mocked her.

Anya narrowed her eyes at the burly man “Careful, Gustus” she chided him harshly.

“You can stop with that attitude of yours, you know?” Gustus retorted “I still fail to see your problem”.

“The commander almost died” Anya remarked, clenching her teeth together forcefully. They had failed to find any hint on the origin of the assassins and it irked her in the wrong way to see Marie distracting Lexa from her duties as the commander with pleading her to read to her or something frivolous like that. They should be planning against the Ice Nation, there was no doubt in her mind that queen Nia would have send the assassins, and yet Lexa had refused to send assassins of her own and eliminating the queen, telling her that something like that was not honourable.

Gustus who had become rather annoyed with the other woman’s stubbornness, deflated visibly. He was immensely thankful for Marie being able to save Lexa’s life. The newly found peace between the clans would have shattered immediately with the death of the commander and war would be brewing quickly, no matter who would ascend as the next commander. “Lexa lives and she will continue to do so, but that has nothing to do with your second” the man finally said.

Anya huffed under her breath, replaying how she had trained the girl. She winced slightly as she remembered the girl’s bleeding hands and only laid into her harsher as a reaction. There was a certain truth to his words, that she had been harsher with her than she had been before, but maybe she had only been too lenient with Marie?

Gustus watched the anger fade from the other woman and sadness seemed to overtake her features.

Anya swallowed visibly “Lexa will understand that Marie needs to train more intensely. And it matters not if the girl hates me”. Her voice sounded almost bitter, even to her own ears.

“I thought you were both satisfied with her progress” Gustus commented. He chose not to comment on the last part of Anya’s statement, he knew how stubborn the woman could be and he would not succeed in convincing her now.

“We have slacked in her training in the last days” Anya responded and turned back around, intent on heading back to the tower and the commander. She was not exactly looking forward to return into Lexa’s immediate presence, but the commander’s enforced confinement to her quarters would end soon enough.

“Watching Lexa almost die had an impact on both of you” Gustus commented lowering his voice, as they returned onto the streets leading to the tower.

Anya huffed nonchalantly as her only response and Gustus knew trying to talk further sense into her would be fruitless.

Lexa looked up from the book she had been trying to read for the last few hours when the doors to her quarters were pushed open again. Anya and Marie had left hours ago and since then she had desperately tried to focus her attention on the book in her hands but had failed miserably at that. She raised a brow in obvious confusion when Anya returned alone.

“Where is Marie?” the commander asked immediately, closing the book and sitting up in the bed.

“I thought she had returned” Anya commented, and her face fell slightly.

A frown settled on the commander’s face at Anya’s answer “Has she not been training with you?”

“She has” Anya answered shortly, turning her back to the younger woman and shrugging out of her coat and unbuckling the light armour she had worn for training. Internally she was wondering where Marie might have gone.

Lexa instantly sensed that something must have happened at the training, Anya was behaving strangely enough to warrant that assumption, so she asked, “What has happened?”

“Nothing” Anya retorted angrily at being interrogated like that.

“Nothing?” Lexa echoed with a raised brow. She did not believe that answer for a single moment. Although she herself was still frustrated at the prospect of having to spend another two or three days in her quarters, she had realized that being on her own was even worse and was internally grateful for Anya’s company and had also looked forward to spending more time with Marie, she had given up on hope to see Clarke for now.

“I have trained her” Anya whirled around, facing the younger woman again, and there was accusation in her voice now “Harder than before and she snapped”.

Lexa’s frown deepened, a mixture of worry and confusion evident on her face.

“She needs to be able to protect herself” Anya continued, voice getting louder slightly “And she can’t! She is relying on us being there to protect her. But we won’t always be there. You almost dying is proof enough of that! I could not protect you then as well!”

Lexa sighed under her breath, her green eyes softening at the outburst of raw emotion from her former mentor. She had already assumed that Anya regarded the almost succeeded assassination attempt as a sort of personal failure in her position as the commander’s general, but she had not grasped the magnitude of that.

Lexa stood from the bed, the wounds barely causing any real pain any longer, and crossed the room to stand in front of Anya, looking deeply into the other woman’s brown eyes as she said, “You have not failed me, Anya. And neither will you fail, Marie”. Her voice was strong and laced with the conviction of Anya’s loyalty.

Her words must have stroked a chord with the general and relieve flickered through her brown eyes.

“I might have already with Marie” Anya added heavily after a moment of silence.

Lexa looked at the older woman in silent question, asking her to elaborate.

“She hates me now” Anya explained in a pained whisper.

Lexa shook her head immediately in denial “I do not know what happened. But Marie loves you, Anya, she loves both of us and I highly doubt one training would be enough to change that”.

Anya looked away from the commander, a shameful expression on her face “You have not seen her reaction or heard her words, she did mean them” she assured Lexa and closed her eyes against the flash of hurt in her heart.


	139. Chapter 139

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am back from my holiday =) Refreshed and tanned xD But I need to get back into writing again, which might take a few days. I still have a few chapters in store from before my holiday.
> 
> Previously in chapter 138  
> Lexa is moody being confined to her quarters. Anya takes Marie to training and pushes the girl to her limit. Marie tells Anya that she hates her and storms off. Anya is conflicted about her role.

Chapter 139

Marie stormed away from the training pits, with anger coursing through her veins and tears running down her cheeks. Her whole body was aching, and blood was still dripping from the busted skin of her hands.  Large bruises had no doubt already formed under her clothes in various places as well.

Marie had no real destination in mind, as she roamed through the streets. Several people had made to approach her, but Risha, who followed on her heels, had growled at them and they backed off, leaving her to walk alone again.

Her feet carried her to the stables on their own accord. This time the stables were not deserted completely, but she had been there many times before and all the warriors working there knew to let her pass if she wished. Risha looked up at her human and turned around, the horses never liked the cub’s company and got nervous. The stable master had threatened to ban the wolf from the stables altogether, if Risha spooked the horses and something happened. Anya had given her the advice to teach the wolf that the stables were off limits now and Marie had started to teach Risha to stay outside to avoid trouble.

The commander’s black mare instantly whinnied in greeting and pushed its enormous head over the fence, clearly wanting to be petted by her. Marie obliged the silent plea with a slight smile and stood on tiptoes to be able to scratch the horse behind its ears; she had learned already that the mare enjoyed this place the most.

Marie’s smile dropped from her face only moments later. The last moments of her training with Anya flashing through her mind. Although her body still hurt in too many places to count right now, what hurt the most was the guilt settling in her heart. She knew, she should not have said that she hated her mentor. She had not meant the words, the very moment they had left her mouth but she could not take them back anymore now.

What if she had destroyed everything for herself with one single sentence? In truth she did not mean the words even while she said them. She had just been so incredibly angry at Anya. Hearing that she was too weak to be a proper second to Lexa and the general had hurt her more than she cared to admit. She was doing her best, or at least Marie was convinced of that, and it obviously was not enough in Anya’s opinion.

Marie was torn between returning to the tower and trying to apologize and staying where she was. She had no idea how Anya would react to an apology, or if the woman would even give her a chance to apologize. Marie felt as if she had already destroyed the connection they had.

She had not even realized that she had started to cry under her breath, until Skairasha suddenly nudged her nose against her chest and Marie saw some teardrops fall onto the horse’s black coat.

Marie sniffled a few times and slung her arms around the mare’s huge neck, hugging the big animal tightly.

The new second working at the stables watched the blonde girl speak to the horse in hushed whispers, too low to understand from the distance. He was surprised that the commander’s warhorse seemed to welcome the girl; he had already learned to keep as much distance to the beast as possible. It had enormous hooves and viciously sharp teeth and barely accepted his first in its periphery. The girl was much smaller than he was, and she did not seem the least bit intrigued by the war horse. His eyes widened in fright when the girl hugged the huge horse; he knew that his first would punish him severely if something happened under his watch. To his surprise and utter relief, the horse accepted the handling willingly, only neighing slightly. He had heard already that the blonde girl was from the sky and not comparable to any of their own people; he would have a lot to tell his friends later now that he had seen the commander’s second with his very eyes for the first time. He had no idea, why the girl was crying, but he knew it was not his place to offer her any words of consolation, so he stayed back and simply watched her in silence.

When Marie took a step back from the black mare, she suddenly felt the weight of another’s gaze on her back, she whirled around and spotted a lanky boy watching her. He was probably the replacement for the second which had been killed by Ontari weeks ago.

A blush coloured Marie’s cheeks and she harshly rubbed at her cheeks, trying to erase the visible traces of the tears from her face. She straightened slightly, standing taller, at the realization that she had just been watched; she had no idea when the boy had appeared. With quick strides she went passed him, not saying a word to the boy. In her mind she was chiding herself as weak as Anya had accused her of being, crying in front of a stranger like that was probably unacceptable as the commander’s second as well. Titus had always told her that she needed to carry herself with a certain amount of grace and dignity, but she was failing at this as well.

Her steps carried her back towards the tower. More warriors were patrolling the streets than usual, and Marie had the distinct feeling that they might have been searching for her. She realized that it had gotten much later than she had thought, so it was possible that Lexa had already send warriors to look for her.

She could not quiet shake the nagging voice from her mind, doubting that someone would be send to search for her at all, after what had happened during the training. Would she even be welcomed in the commander’s quarters right now?

Marie was biting at her lips strongly when she finally arrived at the top of the tower. No one had intercepted her on her way, but she still stood in front of the doors indecisively for long moments.

“Why don’t you go in?” Gustus finally addressed the girl, having watched her inner turmoil in silence long enough now. The girl looked ready to bolt and he had spoken softly as to not scare her away.

Marie looked up startled at his words. Her grey eyes wide and filled with actual fear.

“Am I still allowed to go in…?” the girl’s voice was small, and her eyes cast downwards on the floor.

Gustus looked down at the girl with a slight frown, what had happened was not enough to warrant insecurities this deep. The conviction that only Lexa and Anya would be able to reassure their charge, kept him silent and he mutely opened the door to the girl. When she visibly hesitated on the threshold, Gustus gave her a light push inside the commander’s quarters and closed the door behind her, blocking her exit route if she decided to simply turn around and flee instead of facing the general.

Lexa was sitting at the table, reading a report of bandits raiding the borders of the Plain Rider Clan. The commander looked up when the door opened, and she felt a bout of relieve at seeing their charge return. Anya was taking a bath at the moment and Lexa was glad to have a few moments to speak with the girl on her own.

The guilt was palpable in her grey eyes and posture. Her eyes were reddened, so it was obvious she had been crying. She was biting at her lips, which already had a bloody sheen to them, as if she had bitten them open, and she was scratching at her hands again. The girl’s hands were crusted with dried blood already and her knuckles looked raw and busted, the stress induced scratching not helping the already pre-existing injuries.

“Come here” Lexa motioned Marie over, voice gentle and eyes soft. She would not directly intercept in the fall-out between the general and her second, but it was obvious she needed reassurance now, that not everything was lost now.

Marie straightened herself slightly and stepped closer to the couch, but not getting into arm’s reach yet.

“Why do you think that you are not allowed inside our quarters anymore, Marie?” Lexa asked, putting emphasis on the word “our” in her question. A slight frown settled on her features, when she watched Marie supress a shrug as an answer; a gesture she still tented to use as an answer sometimes, no matter how often the girl was told not to.

“I will train harder now, I promise” the girl answered, completely ignoring the actual questions, and a quiver to her tone. “But I can do better, honest”.

Lexa’s frown deepened at her response, a worried crease forming between her eyebrows. Lexa leaned forward and tugged the girl closer to her, pulling at her so that the girl came to stand between her knees. With a finger under the girl’s chin, Lexa forced Marie to meet her gaze.

Her eyes shortly travelled in the direction of the bathroom. Anya had been impatiently awaiting Marie’s return and had immediately wanted to go after the girl after speaking with the commander. Lexa had advised her against that, telling the general to take a bath while she waited and if their charge had still not returned in a few hours, she would send out warriors to look for Marie. Anya’s mood had been hard to decipher, she seemed to have been an explosive mixture of angry and disappointed, and Lexa doubted Marie would have an easy time to apologize to the proud general.  

“Your training is making enough progress, Marie” Lexa assured the girl in a firm tone “And as we have both assured you, your place is here now. You need to stop doubting yourself, Marie.” The commander addressed the girl’s unvoiced fear, she knew that only time would help in decreasing the girl’s insecurities.

Marie met her unwavering gaze with wide grey eyes. “Is Anya very angry?” she asked in a small tone, as her eyes searched through the room again for the general.

“Your words will have disappointed her greatly” Lexa answered the girl’s question honestly, there was no sense in sugar-coating the truth for her as the girl also needed to learn that her words had consequences.

Marie’s shoulders sagged, and she looked the very image of miserable, guilt marring her features. “She has not gone away, right?” the girl checked fear flashing through her grey eyes.

“No” Lexa shook her head in the negative, slightly surprised by the absurdity of the girl’s question and motioned towards the bathroom “Anya is bathing”. She squeezed the girl’s shoulder reassuringly and watched how their charge moved to the bathroom unsurely.

Marie visibly hesitated in front of the door and she lightly knocked against the door, waiting to be allowed inside, which she normally did not.

Anya opened the door only a short moment later, a towel slung around her body and her hair still dripping with water. The woman must have stepped out of the bathing tube hurriedly to answer the knocking. The alarm on her face faded when she noticed Marie standing in front of her, a variety of emotions flashed over her features for a moment, until they became guarded. The general waited in stony silence for their charge to say something, Lexa could still see a certain amount of guilt on the other woman’s features at the visible wounds on the girl’s face. Marie was visibly squirming in place under Anya’s hard stare and the commander knew that the older woman would not yield.

“I am soooo sorry” the girl blurted out loudly after another moment, with wide already teared up eyes. “I don’t hate you! Please, believe me…” the girl’s voice trailed off, shaking strongly. Her grey eyes were mutely pleading with Anya.

Anya’s features softened slightly at the girl’s obvious misery, but her brown eyes were still rather hard and she only tersely nodded, still not saying a single word. Anya exhaled forcefully, looking down at the girl’s hands, which she kept twisting around each other in discomfort.

Anya caught the girl’s hands and looked at her busted knuckles. “Let’s get you cleaned up” she ordered their charge, pulling the girl into the bathroom with her.

Lexa stood from the couch and went over to the door, demanding a healer to be sent to her quarters. The girl would require some ointment for her fingers at least and she guessed other bruises were hidden by her clothes at the moment. Her bandage could be changed as well again.

Marie was visibly still unsure and shuffled her feet unsurely in the bathroom, staring at Anya with wide eyes.

“Do you really think, I am not worthy to be your and Lexa’s second?” the girl’s voice was wavering slightly, clearly showing that she had thought much about it. Her body might hurt pretty badly at the moment, but this one accusation had remained in Marie’s mind and she could not stop herself from questioning if Anya and Lexa would be better off without her.

Anya sighed under her breath, regretting her own words from earlier slightly. She knew that only frustration had spoken out of her, same as out of the girl. They had taken their frustration out on each other.

She took a wetted cloth and gently whipped at the girl’s hands, removing the crusted blood carefully. Marie winced at the treatment, but she did not try to withdraw her hands. Her face fell visibly, when Anya still had not said anything after a few moments.

“No, Marie” Anya finally said, “Your training is progressing well”. The general sighed, squeezing the girl’s fingers gently, “I want you to be able to protect yourself, Marie, Lexa and I won’t always be there to protect you and I do not want you to be harmed”.

Marie looked up at Anya, a startled expression on her features and her voice was tinted with surprise as she said, “You are worried about me”.

“Of course, I worry about you” Anya rebuked with a slight frown. Internally she was wondering, why the girl was even doubting something like that.

Marie smiled a slightly teary smile at her mentor and following a sudden instinct, she launched herself at the unsuspecting woman, winding her arm’s around Anya’s body. “I am really really sorry” the girl mumbled with her face pressed against the woman’s stomach.

Anya remained slightly rigid in the girl’s sudden embrace, unsure if she should reciprocate it or not. When the girl added another “I love you” after a moment, Anya forcefully relaxed her tense body slightly. Internally her mind was a chaotic whirlwind. She wanted to believe Marie’s words, but she could not simply forget her hateful words from earlier either. She could not remember something similar happening during her training with Lexa or Tris. But the relationship with her previous seconds had been different. She might not have always been their most favourite person, but both of them had always respected her and followed her orders without question. She had been slightly shocked by Marie telling her that she loved her for the first time, neither Lexa nor Tris had done the same before. So, both her previous seconds could not have withdrawn something again, they had simply never given before.

Marie looked sad, when she retreated from Anya a few moments later, the woman had not moved an inch and she felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach, dread coiling inside her uncomfortably.

Anya was internally debating to reach out to the girl, when a healer entered the bathroom. The general nodded to the young man and stepped back. She collected another towel and dried her hair quickly, leaving the bathroom to give the healer space to work on their charge. Anya felt the weight of the girl’s gaze follow her out of the room.

The general dressed herself in silence under the watchful eyes of the commander. Lexa was aware that Anya had obviously not truly accepted the girl’s apology for now, otherwise the other woman would have stayed behind to see how extensive the damage was she had inflicted upon their charge. Her frown deepened on her face, she knew just how stubborn Anya could be, if she wanted. Lexa sighed under her breath, it was already annoying enough for herself to be forced to remain within her quarters and the tension which was bound to remain between her former mentor and their charge would not help the already tiring situation one bit. She doubted trying to get involved would actually achieve anything with the older woman, so Lexa remained silent as well.

Marie returned from the bathroom long moments later. Her hands were bandaged and another bandage peeked out under her shirt.

The healer reported to the commander that no bones seemed to have been broken, so no lasting damage was expected. Marie declined the offer of a tea against the pain she must be feeling.

By the way Marie’s shoulders had dropped and the sadness marring her features, the girl had realized also that Anya had in fact not forgiven her. The general had taken a whetstone and was sharpening one of her swords in stony silence.

Marie’s voice was rather small as she asked, solely addressing Lexa, “Can I visit Ontari?”

Lexa’s lips thinned slightly, but she still inclined her head in silent permission. It would probably have been better for the girl to remain here and actually try to reach out to Anya again, but she could understand why Marie chose to leave as well.

Both of them still did not like the fact that a friendship seemed to be developing between their charge and the Ice Nation nightblood.

Lexa watched the girl trudge out of her chamber’s in silence, although Anya had not looked up from her sword for a single moment, Lexa had still noticed the tightening of the general’s jaw, a clear sign that she was not pleased with the girl choosing to leave as well.

“Now she said that she loves me again” Anya commented after a few moments. The whetstone gliding over the sword slightly too strong now, expressing her frustration with their charge.

“And you do not believe her anymore” Lexa observed thoughtfully, she carefully kept any judgment out of her voice.


	140. Chapter 140

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 139  
> After their fall-out Marie seeks solace in the stables and later tries to apologize to Anya.

Chapter 140

Marie’s mood was totally bleak as she walked through the tower. She had hoped Anya would just accept her apology and everything would get back to normal, but it seemed it would not happen like that. Anya had remained distant and rather cold and being rejected like that had hurt, although she guessed she deserved her mentor’s treatment. She knew that she had probably hurt Anya deeply.

What if Anya would not forgive her? Would she just be Lexa’s second then? Could Anya even “get rid” of her, if the woman did not want her to be her second anymore? She distinctly remembered that Lexa had told her that Anya could stop being her first if the general wished but that being the commander’s second was usually for life.

The guards let her enter the floor which housed the prisoners without any questions asked. She knew the way to Ontari’s small room by heart now, having visited the older girl quiet a few times in the last weeks.

Ontari was lying on the narrow bed, when Marie entered the room. The older girl pushed herself up into a sitting position and her brow furrowed in confusion when she noticed the younger girl’s downcast features.

“What happened to you?” Ontari asked motioning to the girl’s bandaged hands. Her first thought had been, that the commander might have not survived the assassination attempt and succumbed to her wounds, but she knew that horns would pronounce the fall of the current commander to all citizens. In addition, she was convinced that the girl’s grief would be encompassing then.

“I did something really bad” Marie said, her grey eyes tearing up already.

Ontari’s dark eyes widened slightly at the implication of the girl’s words. Her wounds came from a punishment? That did not fit the way she had seen the general and the commander handle the girl, she could imagine the flamekeeper resorting to physical punishment, but she highly doubted the commander would allow her second to be harmed by the flamekeeper.

“And you were punished for it? Physically?” the nightblood checked carefully. She was unsure how to deal with the obviously emotional girl right now, lacking any experience of how to react to someone who was about to cry.

“What?” Marie asked with confusion on her features, when she realized what Ontari must have concluded, she quickly shook her head. “They are from training” she corrected the older girl, sitting down on the bed next to her and pulling her knees to her chest.

“So, what have you done then?” Ontari asked, making more room for the other girl on the narrow bed.

“I told Anya, that I hate her” Marie narrated with a sad tone.

Ontari frowned slightly at that information, not knowing how to react to something like that. “And you do not?” she questioned the younger girl after a moment of silence.

Marie was looking at her with big grey eyes as if her question had been absurd.

“Of course, not” Marie retorted rather heatedly. But the younger girl seemed to deflate instantly and her voice got small as she added, “I did tell her, that I love her, again, but she has not reacted at all”.

Ontari blinked at the younger girl, trying to come up fervently with a fitting reply. It was obvious that the situation was having a deep impact on the young girl, but she doubted she could be of any assistance there.

She could not even remember, if she had ever said anyone to love them. She guessed, that she would have said it to her parents as a child, before she was brought to the ice queen to train. But since then, it had not crossed her mind even once. If she thought about it, there had never been anyone in her life after her parents for who she did have any feelings.

“Can Anya stop to be my first?” the younger girl asked into the silence, which felt utterly strained to Ontari.

“Well…” Ontari started, questioning herself on how honest she should be with Marie right now. In the end, she decided to be brutally honest and answered “…in Azgeda a second who is not sufficient, is killed by the first”.

“Killed?” Marie echoed, with almost comically widened eyes. She had gone completely pale.

“I am sure the commander and general would not resort to that” Ontari quickly added when she noticed the horror in Marie’s grey eyes. “How is the commander by the way?” the older girl asked after a moment, trying to divert the blonde girl’s attention.

Marie opened her mouth to tell her, that she had healed Lexa and she was in no danger, but closed it again abruptly. Both her mentors would not be happy with her, if she told Ontari her secret.

Ontari frowned at the girl’s reaction, instantly picking onto the fact that she was withholding information. Her instincts told her, to pry for what was kept from her, she knew she could easily force the younger girl to tell her the truth, but something about Marie was rooting her in place, muting her instincts and waiting patiently for an answer.

“Lexa is healing” Marie finally settled on, her grey eyes not connecting with Ontari’s, “She is supposed to return to her position in the next days”.

Ontari nodded mutely. She had expected something like that, but she still wondered what Marie was keeping secret. She had seen first hand how deep the arrows had pierced the commander’s body and wounds like that could easily be fatal, destroying something within the body. She did not know, if she should feel disappointed at the information of the commander’s survival and she did not understand the slight bout of relieve that clouded her mind instead.

From the moment she had set foot onto the streets of the capitol, it had been her single all encompassing goal to rise as the next commander. Ontari had not doubted her prowess as a warrior, but after the time she had now spend observing commander Lexa, she had been forced to recognize that there were a lot of things the ice queen had not taught her. She hypothesised that it had been Nia’s intention all along, to place her on the throne, but to “guide” her from the side-lines, efficiently ruling the other clans.

The coalition and the commander had proven to be vastly different from what she had been told by Nia. She had been raised to believe that Ice Nation deserved to subjugate all other clans to their rule, but she had started to doubt, that only one clan should really rule over the others.

Their training had been halted since the attack on the commander and Ontari had tried to listen to the guards whispering about what was going on, but she had not heard anything useful since then. In all honesty, she had been bored, with no lessons to occupy her time, she had been forced to stay within the small room for three days now and she had even missed Marie’s easy company. She did not understand what kind of friendship they seemed to have developed almost naturally, because she knew she had not done anything to contribute to it. But Ontari had grown accustomed to the younger girl’s reoccurring visits to her room and although she did not understand, why Marie even kept on coming back, Ontari still craved the other girl’s company. Even though weeks had passed since she was introduced to the rest of the conclave, the other nightbloods still evaded her like the plague and none spoke to her, if Marie did not directly include her into a conversation.

Ontari knew that is was weakness to crave the younger girl’s company in the way she did now, but she still did not wish to stop this weird friendship.

It seemed that diverting the girl’s attention had not worked as well, as she Ontari had hoped.

“How can I make Anya believe me?” the younger girl asked, looking up at Ontari with big and almost pleading eyes.

Ontari pursed her lips in thought, she could not offer the blonde any advice. She could not remember a single instance where she had needed to apologize to somebody else. “I do not know, Marie” she said, shaking her head in the negative, “I have not had to apologize to anyone for a personal transgression like that”.

“You did not?” Marie wondered, brows creased in obvious disbelief.

Ontari shook her head again in silence. She may not have any experience with owing back a personal favour, but she knew that most people could be bribed by something, you just needed to know with what.

“Does the general need something?” the nightblood asked Marie with a thoughtful expression.

“What should Anya need?” Marie mused, obviously confused what Ontari was trying to hint at.

“Bribe her with something” Ontari supplied with a slight eyeroll. She was not sure, if the girl was truly that naïve or not.

Marie’s confusion seemed to only deepen, the thought had obviously truly not even crossed her mind.

“You could call it “a gift”” Ontari amended, noting on the slightly judging hint in the other girl’s grey eyes. “Or find something to impress her with” the nightblood added after a moment.

Marie creased her brow in obvious deep concentration, trying to come up with something that could be able to sooth Anya. She remembered, how Roan had told her a few days, that he had killed an ice bear as a young man, trying to impress his mother. She had not yet killed anything at a hunt, it would surely be a way to prove her worth.

“Can you go and hunt an ice bear with me?” Marie suggested innocently.

Ontari did a mental doubletake, blinking at the younger girl in open surprise. The absurdity of the idea surprised her immensely. She doubted that she would be allowed to leave the tower and even so, the lands where they could meet an ice bear was many days travel away and the ice bears tented to be mutated beasts, even large hunting parties often failed in trying to bring them down.

“Certainly not” she countered after a moment and the hopeful expression on the younger girl’s face vanished.

“Why not?” Marie almost pouted, voice whining slightly.

“We would not survive encountering an ice bear alone and the journey would be several days” Ontari reasoned with the younger girl, a tight smile on her own face.

“Mmh” Marie hummed nonchalantly. Silence settled between them again, as Marie obviously thought of another possibility. “You can train me” the young girl suggested, eyes shining with new-found enthusiasm.

Ontari breathed deeply, she was intent on declining the younger girl’s plea at once, but she did not wish to disappoint the girl’s obvious hope in her, so she nodded with a cautious expression. That still left the problem, that her room was certainly too small to teach the girl anything useful.

She had already noticed that Marie seemed to admire her combat skills and she was internally happy to be able to repay her somewhat.

The Ice Nation nightblood was surprised when the guards allowed her to leave the room and the tower, although they accompanied them, they were not stopped on their way to the training pits. She had not tried to leave the room, if she was not fetched for training, so Ontari had assumed to be a prisoner still.

Ontari was even more surprised when she was allowed to take swords from the weapon rack. The guards taxed her with watchful stares and she thought to have spotted uneasiness in their eyes, when she handed two swords to Marie and ordered her to face her. She had heard that the girl seemed to have a talent for handling two swords, just like the commander preferred to use, she would now see for herself if the whisperings had been true.

“I will not hold back” Ontari cautioned the younger girl, twirling her own swords in her hands, getting a feeling for the blades as she did so. A smirk pulled at her lips, as horror suddenly flashed over the younger girl’s features, but she amended “At least not much”.

True to her word, Ontari’s attacks were harsh. But Marie did not complain even once, the desire to prove to Anya, that she could do well as a warrior burning through her veins and fuelling her strength.

“You are not quick enough on your feet” Ontari chided the younger girl after long moments.

The guards were banding slightly worried glances, when Marie had sustained several smaller wounds.

But the girls did not stop fighting each other. Ontari specifically targeted the younger girl’s legs, trying to force her to concentrate on her footings. She had to silently give credit to Marie, she was holding herself well.

Ontari did still hold back a lot, but she increased the speed and ferocity of her attacks as they continued. She had miscalculated how quickly the younger girl moved and her sword sliced deeply into the thigh of the younger girl.

Ontari looked at the now bleeding wound with a deep frown. She was sure the commander would have her head, if she seriously wounded her second.

But Marie did not seem to mind the wound in the slightest, surprising Ontari with her continued attack. She felt the steel of one of the younger girl’s swords bit into the flesh of her upper arm.

Marie blinked down at her sword, black blood dripping from it. She had not cut the other girl deeply, but she had drawn blood and she felt a certain amount of pride. Ontari might have been distracted, but still, she had gotten a strike in.

Ontari took a step back, looking around them. Night was starting to fall, she nodded appreciatingly at the blonde girl. Her dark eyes widened visibly, when she caught on to the sudden paleness of Marie’s skin.

The wound on her thigh was bleeding profusely and she was losing too much blood. Marie blinked, as if waking from a daze, and her fingers were strained in red blood after she had touched her thigh, horror etched into her features.

“You need to see a healer” Ontari hurried the younger girl. She did not wish to imagine what the commander and the general, no matter how out of sorts she was her second right now, would do to her, when she brought Marie to them.

Ontari could hear the guards muttering to each other, as she let her own sword drop to the ground carelessly, just as Marie already had. The younger girl was swaying on her feet and Ontari rushed the small distance to her, sweeping the smaller body into her arms, quickly carrying her in the direction of the tower, the guards on her heels.

“Stay awake, alright?” Ontari addressed Marie urgently.

Marie nodded “It feels weird” she commented, seemingly offhanded.

“I am going to lose my head for this” Ontari mumbled to herself, chiding herself for being so careless. She had never actually feared for someone else to die. She had seen many people die, had killer numerous others singlehanded, but fearing for another’s life was a new experience for her. She had thought, that teaching someone else on how to fight, would be easy, but judging Marie’s strength had obviously been heavily miscalculated by herself.

Ontari took of her belt, when they reached the elevator, she tied it around the younger girl’s leg trying to staunch the girl’s bleeding. It was pooling down the girl’s leg at an alarming speed.

“It hurts” Marie complained into the strained silence.

Ontari nodded, as long as the girl still spoke, she still lived. She did not wish to see her die.

The guard, who always seemed to be around the commander, narrowed her eyes dangerously, as Ontari carried Marie down the hall, from the elevator to the step of the commander’s quarters.

He pushed the door to the quarters open without question. Ontari internally prayed that the commander would let her explain what had happened, before she simply chose to slit her throat, where she stood.

Lexa had watched Anya sharpening her sword for the last hours. It had started to get dark and it worried her, that Marie had not returned to their quarters yet. Although she did not believe, that the girl would do something reckless, Marie was still impulsive and she had been upset, when she left.

The commander looked up sharply, when the door to her quarters was pushed open without any kind of announcement. Anya stopped the motion of the whetstone as well, her eyes narrowing at Ontari, who stumbled inside.

Lexa stood quickly from the couch, ignoring the slight pain flaring up in her wounds, at the sight of Marie in Ontari’s arm.

Anya had discarded the whetstone and after Ontari had placed Marie on the couch, the general had pushed the nightblood away, the sharpened sword at her throat in an instant and her voice was threatening, as she seethed at the younger girl through bared teeth “What happened?!”.

Ontari swallowed forcefully against the blade pressed into her throat, trying hard not to flinch or cower under the intense stare.

Lexa stood above Marie, gently inspecting the gaping wound on the girl’s thigh. “Call a healer” she instructed Gustus with urgency in her tone.

Marie’s grey eyes were clouded with pain and she whimpered slightly as Lexa pulled the belt tighter around the girl’s leg.

“She wanted to impress you” Ontari tried to explain to the angry general.

Anya’s brown eyes narrowed even more. She did not understand, how Marie’s will to earn forgiveness could have lead to their charge being severely wounded. Anya pressed the sword slightly stronger against the girl’s neck, breaking skin now and she watched a fine line of black blood run down her pale neck.

Lexa looked up from Marie side, she had taken the girl’s hands and was trying to reassure her, that a healer would be here soon and take care of her. She was torn between making the nightblood girl bleed herself and reprimanding Anya for wounding a nightblood. Nightbloods were sacred after all.

“Anya!” Lexa addressed her general sharply.

Anya let go of the nightblood girl, sneering at her disdainfully as she pushed her away from herself.

Ontari swallowed once again and straightened herself “She wanted to hunt an ice bear for you” the nightblood said, solely directed at the general.

Commander and general bandied a confused gaze at that information.

“I suggested to train with her instead” Ontari explained quickly. The worry inside her dark eyes seemed to only be directed towards Marie “She fought well” she said and regret was clear in her voice when she added “I had not meant to hurt her”.

Lexa nodded curtly, Anya still looked livid, but the commander believed the word from the Ice Nation nightblood and she ordered “Return to your room”, her voice had been harsh and left little place for discussion, but it still seemed that the girl was reluctant to leave before she knew that Marie would be alright.

Ontari finally turned on the spot, under the intense glare from the commander, knowing she would not help her case, if she disobeyed. She had noticed that the commander seemed rather well for the wounds, hidden beneath her clothes.


	141. Chapter 141

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 140  
> Marie visits Ontari and asks her to train with her, during which she is wounded. Ontari brings the wounded girl back to the commander.

Chapter 141

Clarke had heard loud rushed steps on the floor of the hall, closely followed by Gustus ordering another guard to call for a healer.

Although she had not seen or heard anything from the commander in the last days, she instantly resumed that something might have happened. She had seen Marie heal Lexa’s wounds, only for the commander to inflict new wounds upon her body. Clarke had cleaned and dressed the wounds, which were not nearly as deep as the original ones, but she had not been called back into the woman’s quarters since then. It was entirely possible that the wounds could have caught an infection.

She had evaded the commander’s quarters like a coward, she was well aware of that. But she had not known how to face the other woman, after she had kissed her. Since feeling those sinful soft lips against her own again, Clarke could not shake them from her mind again. Green eyes, filled with honest surprise and wonder, swimming in adoration, had filled her thoughts. Her nightmares had not just been filled with flashes of the Mountain, but with endless amounts of black blood, with the pained groans Lexa had emitted. In her dreams Marie had not saved the commander, but she had tried in vain to stop the other woman from bleeding out. She had woken up with the feeling of black blood clinging to her fingers and lifeless green eyes at the forefront of her mind.

She had used the last three days to think about what she wanted for herself. Clarke had briefly thought about returning to her people, but had discarded that idea, as soon as it had crossed her mind. She did not wish to return to them and she was not sure, if she ever would.

Something was keeping her in Polis and was not used the city in itself, no matter how fascinating the streets filled with people were to her. In all honesty, it was the commander herself which kept her there.

Lexa was an enigma to her and one that had captivated her seemingly effortlessly. She had seen enough of the commander to recognize just how skilled as a leader the other woman was. The people of Polis loved their commander and Lexa had obviously done much for her people. But she had only seen little glimpses of the woman beneath the mantle of the commander and she felt connected to her in a way, which she could not understand.

The encompassing rage which had coursed through her veins whenever she had thought of the commander and what she had decided in the face of the Mountain, had simmered down. What remained behind of the rage was a deep feeling of hurt.

And still, as a leader she understood now that Lexa did not have any other choice then take the deal.

The trust which had built between them during the preparation of the Mountain might have been lost, but the instant attraction was still there.

Seeing the commander almost die had driven one-point home to her for good. Lexa was human, no matter that the grounders seemed to revere the young woman like a goddess, she was still a human being. A human with faults, hurts, desires and a human made of flesh and blood, a human which could die any moment.

Clarke could not predict how much time they might have together. But she was convinced, she would regret hanging on to petty anger later.

Clarke steeled herself, she had chosen to give Lexa a chance, to stop fighting the feelings that still lingered for the stoic leader.

She exited her quarters, bag with healing supplies in her arms and met Gustus in the hall, returning to his post in front of the commander’s quarters. “Is it the commander?” she asked the burly man.

Gustus shook his head “Marie” was the single word he said and Clarke thought to spot genuine worry in the man’s dark eyes for the young girl.

The doors were pushed open in front of her quickly and Clarke rushed inside, unsure of what to expect.

Clarke’s blue eyes quickly connected with Lexa’s green ones, the commander was crouched next to a couch and Marie laid on it. Blood was running from a large gash on the girl’s leg and judging from the small puddle of blood beneath her leg, Marie had already bled a lot, the fabric of her trousers was saturated with it as well.

“How did this happen?” she asked putting her bad onto a table and quickly looking for the things she would need to stitch the wound close.

“Training wound” Anya supplied in a clipped tone. Clarke had the feeling of a sudden déjà vu with the way Anya hovered beside the couch, worry open to see in her brown eyes and the general’s arms were crossed over her chest, it was obvious she was afraid for the girl. Clarke gritted her teeth mutely, she knew it would not make any sense to lecture the older woman on the fact that Marie was to young to be trained in such a fashion.

Lexa kept the girl’s hands in her own, feeling the bandages on the girl’s hands saturated with fresh blood as well, while Clarke prodded at Marie’s thigh and pulled another pained whimper from the girl’s lips.

“It is deep” Clarke observed “It needs stiches. But should it not heal on its own? Should she not be able to heal herself?”

Lexa thinned her lips in annoyance, in her opinion Clarke was wasting time with senseless questions. They did not understand, how Marie’s talent really worked, but she did not seem to be able to consciously heal herself. She quickly told the blonde woman so, urgency in her green eyes, to get her to work on their charge.

Clarke nodded, focusing her attention back on the young girl. She stood back up and searched for a tonic to help the girl with the pain, she also retrieved some alcohol to clean out the gash before stitching it close. Clarke forced Marie to swallow the tunic, the girl was in the process of losing consciousness.

Marie’s eyes flew open and she let out a pained scream as Clarke started to pour alcohol over the wound, trying to inch away from the added pain.

Anya bent down and pressed her hands onto the girl’s shoulders, efficiently pinning her in place on the sofa.

Marie’s grey eyes connected with Anya’s brown ones and her voice shook as she pleaded “It hurts, it hurts so much. Please, make it stop…”

The girl was still moving her legs too much for Clarke to efficiently stitch the wound, so Lexa reluctantly let go of Marie’s hands and moved to the end of the couch, taking a hold of her legs and keeping them in place.

“Focus on me, Marie” Anya ordered in a calm and soothing tone, when the general saw Clarke taking up the needle, intent to begin stitching the girl up.

Marie gritted her teeth and tears gathered in her grey eyes, as Clarke pushed the needle and the threat through her flesh.

“I … had … I had wanted…” the girl panted, interrupted by pained sounds coming from her mouth.

“Sssh” Anya tried to sooth the girl, keeping their eyes locked together and squeezing the girl’s shoulders in silent reassurance “It will be over soon” she promised.

The gash on the girl’s leg was long and deep and Clarke needed seemingly endless moments to sew it back together.

Marie’s brow was coated in sweat and she had bitten her lips bloody in the effort to keep her screams muted.

She groaned deeply when Clarke wiped more alcohol over the wound, before dressing the wound with a bandage. Her features were pale and drawn, when the treatment was finally over and the exertion was clear on her face.

Anya smiled down tightly at the girl as Clarke said that the wound would need several days of healing before the stitches could be removed. The blonde healer hoped that Marie’s body had not lost too much blood already, she instructed the general to watch the girl for sings of shock settling into her system and she instructed them to keep her awake for the next hours.

The girl’s skin felt cold and clammy to the touch and her breathing and heart rate was exhilarated, all signs that she had lost way too much blood already. Clarke would feel better, if she could give the girl a blood transfusion, but she did not know if their blood types matched or not. She remembered that Marie had been able to donate blood to Anya, so the general could probably donate blood for the girl, but she knew how testy the grounders were with the idea of sharing blood with another. If the girl’s health would not deteriorate in the next hours, she should recover completely, so she could still ask Anya later if the situation warranted it.

Clarke took a look at Marie’s hands again and wound new bandages around the injured knuckles. Training again so shortly after an injury had only worsened their state and Clarke tutted in silent annoyance, the wounds on the girl’s fingers looked inflamed already and would take a long time to heal, as Marie would constantly aggravate the healing skin.

Clarke washed away Marie’s bloods from her hands in the commander’s bathroom. Anya had stayed beside Marie, softly speaking to the girl, trying to keep her awake. Clarke felt Lexa’s presence behind her without the need to turn around and actually see the other woman.

“When have your bandages been changed last?” she asked immediately, as she turned to face the commander.

“Last night” Lexa supplied in a neutral tone.

Clarke found it hard to decipher anything from the commander’s face at the moment. Her features looked almost blank, but she thought that her green eyes looked slightly more open and vulnerable than she was used to. She nodded and offered to change them again, afraid they might still catch an infection.

When Clarke returned to the bathroom, Lexa had already shrugged out of her shirt, leaving her in a tight kind of leggings and her chest bindings.

The artist in Clarke could not help but wonder, what the tattoo engraved onto the commander’s spine meant, but she did not wish to ask, feeling like she could overstep a transparent boundary if she did.

“Thank you, Clarke” Lexa spoke, voice soft and her green eyes expressive.

Clarke nodded, swallowing rather forcefully. Whenever Lexa looked at her like that, her heartbeat quickened on its own accord and Clarke tried to keep her hands steady as she took off the old bandage around the commander’s body.

“Why did you cause yourself new wounds?” she asked the older woman when the silence felt too heavy between them.

“Even though I do trust my attendants and guards, they could have wondered why there was no sign of any wounds left” Lexa explained easily. She would not suspect that any of them, would have been foolish enough to tell someone else intentionally, but it would have been enough for the wrong pair of ears to caught on to some rumours. She kept her expression carefully blank, she was unsure what their kiss would mean to the status between them.

Clarke nodded in acknowledgment. “I still wonder, how Marie’s healing talent works, there has to be some rule about who she can heal and who not” she mused absent-minded “And why does she have this power at all?”

“We do not know, Clarke” Lexa answered and shook her head slightly “And it does not matter, why she has this power. If the wrong people hear about such a power, it will not matter, if she can control it or not, Marie will become an even bigger target. She would be more sought after than you and me.”

Clarke’s brows furrowed visibly and her hands stopped in their movements, cleaning out the wounds carefully. “Do your people truly believe that it is possible to absorb someone’s power by killing them?” she asked.

Lexa nodded curtly. In general, their people did believe in exactly that, but Marie’s power was different. It would speak against logic to transfer such a power in this way, but it would not help to keep the girl alive either, if she failed to heal, whoever tried to force her to use her power.

“Titus and others would still prefer it, if I killed you to get Wanheda’s powers” Lexa commented after a moment of silence.

Clarke’s hands stilled again and her body tensed visibly. Her voice had a strange tone as she asked, almost mockingly “Why don’t you then?”

Lexa’s green eyes, which had been expressive in their emotion, turned as cold and hard as ice in the blink of a second, but she did not say anything, clenching her teeth in obvious silent frustration.

Clarke sighed and the anger, which had resurfaced briefly, left her features. She took up a bandage and started to wind it around the commander’s torso. She stepped behind the other woman and she said “I am sorry” the regret tinting her voice seemed honest “I know, that you would not kill me”.

Lexa nodded tersely, still remaining quiet.

“Do you know who tried to have you assassinated?” Clarke asked, changing the subject. It was obvious Lexa did not really wish to speak about Marie’s talent or at the very least did not agree that there was anything about it to discuss.

“No” the commander answered. The shift in Lexa was apparent and Clarke almost regretted asking about anything relating politics. “But it was not expected anyway” Lexa added and the frustration with the whole situation was obvious in the clench of her jaw and the light flickering through her green eyes “Basically it could have been any clan. Without the exception of Trikru, the Boat People and Skykru.”

Clarke sighed “That are many exceptions for a coalition formed out of thirteen clans. I thought it would have been Ice Nation”. She had not been aware that the tensions within the coalition were this strong.

Lexa inclined her head “It is the most likely. But not necessary the only origin for unrest. The clans are still not satisfied with me allowing Skykru into the coalition and now that the Mountain is no longer, the clans search for another to fight, they are unused to peace.”

Clarke’s blue eyes shown with sympathy at the brunette’s words. She wondered how Lexa managed not to crumble under the burden of upholding peace. Her hand rested on the commander’s back between the bandage and her chest wrap, feeling the heat the soft skin emitted beneath her fingers.

Lexa stayed utterly still beneath Clarke’s hands, goose bumps raised on her skin at the feeling.

“Should they not be glad that there is finally peace?” Clarke asked in a soft tone, still standing behind the commander.

Lexa sighed under her breath “My people have known nothing else beside war for many years. They have forgotten the meaning of peace, it makes them uneasy and restless. We have fought for our survival since the bombs ended the old world. You think our ways are harsh, but this is how we survive.”

Clarke’s fingers twitched against the other woman’s back, there was no reason for her to keep caressing the skin beneath her fingers, but she was reluctant to pull back and stop their connection. Her mind flashed back to the situation right before the Mountain, where they had been waiting for Bellamy to signal that the acid fog had been dismantled. The words rang so similar that she could not help but respond similarly “Life should be about more than just surviving. Do we not survive better than that?”

Lexa exhaled visibly and turned around slightly. Clarke’s hand stayed in place and now rested on the commander’s side.

“Maybe we do deserve better than that” Lexa responded with a twitch of her lips, the ghost of a smile playing around them and a softer lightness danced through her green eyes now. Her eyes travelled to Clarke’s lips for a moment, but she did not lean over to connect hers to them again. She was still unsure what it was, that was developing between them and she was afraid to extinguish whatever it was, before it could bloom and take hold.

They stood gazing into each other’s eyes for long silent moments. Lexa did not know, who of them had started to move first, but a moment later she leaned down slightly, while Clarke moved towards herself and their lips brushed against each other again.

The kiss was still soft, unsure what it meant, but it lingered longer. Lexa breathed slightly quicker as they pulled apart for air. A smile now clearly turned the corners of her mouth upwards. She still could not believe that she was granted a second chance with the blonde Skykru leader. Her forehead rested against each other in a gentle gesture and Lexa could feel the blonde’s breath ghosting over her face, inhaling the aroma, that was so uniquely Clarke in her mind.

She searched the endlessness of Clarke’s blue eyes for a moment, looking for hesitation or even some of the anger to resurface, but all she could spot was a certain kind of excitement, adoration and, dare she name it, love.

Lexa leaned down again, pressing her lips against Clarke’s, more daring this time. Exploring the softness of her lips and she became nearly breathless, her heart feeling as if it wanted to hammer through her chest and offer itself to the blonde woman, as Clarke opened her mouth beneath her exploring lips.

She pulled back from their kiss, utterly breathless, but she was aware that rushing into whatever this was, would do no good. She was all too aware that Anya and Marie were just on the other side of the door as well. Now was not the right moment, although she internally wondered if it ever would be.

Clarke seemed to understand though. The blonde woman’s cheeks were slightly coloured with a blush and her blue eyes were shining stronger than the commander had seen after she had abandoned her at the foot of the Mountain.  


	142. Chapter 142

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there,  
> I have come to a point in the story, where I can bring it to a dramatic end very quickly. It would not be the happy ending I had envisioned, but it would work.   
> I guess it depends if people are still interested that I continue or not.
> 
> Previously in chapter 141  
> Clarke stitches Marie’s wound back together. She changes the bandage for the commander and they kiss again.

Chapter 142

Anya had sat down on the sofa, facing Marie and was trying to keep the girl engaged in a conversation. She did not know for how long she should be keeping their charge awake, but it was obvious already that Marie was tired.

The girl’s grey eyes were focused on the general’s features and although Clarke had given her something for the pain, her leg still felt painful and every heartbeat gave a painful echo in the wound. “I had wanted to bring an ice bear for you as my first hunt” Marie narrated. Even though Ontari had reported already briefly what had happened, Marie had not really listened to what had been going on around her, too focused on the large bleeding gash.

Anya snorted under her breath and lightly shook her head at the absurdity of this plan. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of Ontari and Marie actually leaving the capitol and encountering one of those vicious beasts. No matter how skilled Ontari might be as a hunter, two girls would not be enough to bring down an ice bear and live to tell the tale of it. She was aware, that the guards would not have allowed the two girls to leave the borders of the capitol, but the image alone was frightening enough.

“Why had you wanted to bring anything back at all?” the general asked, trying to understand what had driven the girl’s thoughts in such a way.

“To impress you” Marie said, trying to get up into a sitting position and a pained groan instantly emitted from her lips at the jostlement of her leg.

“Lie still” Anya instructed sternly. The wound had been deep and she had no idea, if the girl’s healing power would kick in and fasten the healing or not. Such a deep gash would take several days to start to heal, before the girl could start moving around again, which meant even more time lost for their charge’s training. She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance “There is no need for you to impress me, Marie” she reprimanded the girl.

Marie pouted slightly, obviously not believing the woman’s words. “You were still angry with me” she claimed in an almost sullen tone “Ontari said to bribe you with something. But she said, that hunting an ice bear was not possible now.”

Anya’s lips thinned and she breathed out a large sigh. It did not come as a surprise to her, that the Ice Nation nightblood would recommend bribery, but she would not have been pleased with Marie either way. She was just glad, that even Ontari had denied the girl to help with hunting an ice bear, so there must be some logical thinking within the nightbloods mind.

“So, I wanted her to train me” Marie continued to explain. Her voice was still rather strained and she was still trying to get into a more upright position, to be able to look better at Anya.

The general huffed under her breath at the girl’s continued effort and stood from the end of the couch. “That will hurt” she cautioned, when she placed her hands under the girl’s armpits and hoisted her upwards, so that she could sit down with Marie leaning against herself. Marie visibly bit her lips as she was handled by Anya, but she did not voice her obvious discomfort out loud.

The girl settled down more comfortably against the general’s body. It was apparent, that Marie was more content with the changed seating arrangement and Anya supressed an eye roll at the girl’s antics.

“Ontari said, that firsts in Ice Nation kill their seconds, if they are not worthy” Marie repeated the Ice Nation nightblood’s words and the fear in her grey eyes conveyed clearly, that she believed her.

Anya sighed under her breath at the apparent foolishness of the girl. “It must be a Skykru trait, to have such a thick skull” she rebuked their charge lightly and she shook her head in aggravation. “You are worthy of being …” Anya tried to install into their charge.

But Marie interrupted her with a frown “But you said, that I …”

“Hush” Anya held up her hand, silencing the girl with a stern expression. Her features softened minutely, when Marie closed her mouth again. “Yes, I have said, that you are not behaving worthy of being mine and Lexa’s second. But I was just as annoyed and angry, as you were, Marie” she tried to explain and looked deeply into the girl’s grey eyes.

“I have not meant the words, that I said, just like you did not” Anya clarified with importance in her tone.

“So, you still love me?” the girl checked, in an awfully small voice. Her grey eyes clearly showed, that she was afraid of being rejected at the moment.

Anya nodded with a muted sigh. “Of course, I do” she reassured their charge with honest brown eyes. She would certainly not forget the girl’s hateful words any time soon, but that did not change her own feelings towards their charge.

“I even managed to draw blood from Ontari” Marie declared with a proud glint in her grey eyes.

Anya raised her brows in silent question. She had seen the Ice Nation nightblood fight and no matter, how well Marie’s own training might have progressed in the last weeks, she was no where near skilled enough to be able to hold her own against Ontari in a real fight.

“I did” Marie insisted vehemently “Honest, she let her guard down, when she got me”.

Anya’s lips thinned in displeasure. Translated that meant as much as that Ontari had truly not wished to hurt Marie and had probably miscalculated the strength of her blow severely. The Ice Nation nightblood must have been startled and let her guard down to check on the younger girl. Marie must have used that distraction to draw some blood. But Ontari had not seemed wounded visibly, so Anya knew, that the wound inflicted by Marie could not have been serious. In a real fight, that would have meant, that Ontari would have simply slain the younger girl and Marie had fought too incautious.

“And I used her missing guard…” Marie continued to try to convince Anya, that she had fought well.

Anya stopped the girl’s words with a wave of her hand. “Fighting successfully is not only about drawing blood from your opponent, Marie” she tried to explain to the girl in a calm tone “It is rather about making sure, that no blood is drawn from you as well.”

Marie pursed her lips and she looked rather sullen now at being lectured like that.

Anya slightly rolled her eyes at the girl’s obvious sensitivity and she teased lightly “But, we will make a warrior out of you soon enough”.

Marie pouted with a rather dark look on her face, crossing her arms over her chest. Although the girl had gotten better at identifying Anya’s dry wit, she still needed more time to actually learn how to deal with it, when it was directed at herself.

Clarke and Lexa returned from the bathroom together in that moment.

Marie did not look up to them and was looking at the back of the couch accusingly.

Anya shortly caught the commander’s eye and her brown gaze wandered between both young women.  Both looked way too flustered to have just had a normal conversation and there had been no loud yelling either. She could easily see, how Lexa was trying to pull her emotions back under control, but the shine in her green eyes and the rosiness on her cheeks gave the commander away to her former mentor, without the need for any further words. The blonde woman had an even harder time to cover her unsettled state and Anya frowned slightly. It was not, that she did not wish for Lexa to regain some happiness for herself, but rather that a romance between both leaders would bring even more political tensions and as the commander’s general she needed to think of such consequences first.

Marie was totally oblivious to the silent observation going on around her and only looked up when Clarke addressed her, asking the younger girl, how she was feeling.

“It hurts” Marie instantly exclaimed and Clarke crouched down in front of the girl, feeling her pulse and temperature again.

The girl still looked too pale for her liking, but that was to be expected after a heavy blood loss and would hopefully right itself with time. Fortunately, the girl’s temperature did not feel too cold and the skin not overly clammy. The exhaustion on the girl’s face was apparent, so she hoped that letting her rest now would not be too soon to overlook possible signs of an insetting shock.

“She needs to eat and drink something” Clarke addressed both the commander and the general likewise “Afterwards, she can rest. But she needs to be watched, that her condition does not decrease”.

Anya nodded to acknowledge that she understood, she doubted she would be able to sleep now anyway, wanting to be absolutely sure, that their charge was alright.

Clarke and Lexa shared a long silent gaze, before Clarke cleared her throat awkwardly “I will retire now” she exclaimed. She nodded towards Anya and smiled slightly at Marie, before her blue eyes returned to Lexa “ _Reshop, Heda”_ she said with meaningful eyes.

“Good night, Clarke” Lexa answered, voice slightly deeper than usual.

Marie frowned as she watched Lexa and Clarke look at each other. The commander followed the blonde woman outside to ask one of the guards to order for something to eat to be brought into her quarters for Marie.

“Now they are acting a different kind of strange” Marie observed with confusion on her features.

Anya snorted lightly, trying to reign in the laughter wanting to bubble from her lips. As naïve and sometimes unmindful their charge could be, in other times she was extremely observant for someone so young.

Lexa must still have heard Marie’s observation because the commander looked rather disgruntled and lost for words.

Lexa was lucky, that Alira had already been in the process of bringing up dinner to the commander’s quarters and only a short moment later the doors were pushed open for the old handmaid, Risha accompanied the woman.

The wolf quickly caught Marie’s attention. The animal leapt at the girl with its tail wagging in obvious delight to see her human again. But the wolf cub stopped abruptly to smell at the girl’s trousers, which were still soaked in blood, and the bandage over the wound. Risha let out a slight whining howl as a reaction.

“It is not so bad” Marie seemed to try to reassure the animal and stretched her arm, to stroke the wolf’s muzzle.

Alira looked slightly worried to see the girl obviously wounded, she had not heard that anything had happened to her. Lexa reassured the woman, that Marie would heal and that her own wounds were healing nicely as well, trying to quell her obvious worries. The woman left again shortly after, promising Marie to bring her an extra honey cake for breakfast.

Marie was already yawing deeply, when Anya pressed a plate with food into her hands. The girl only picked at the foot, obviously not feeling really hungry, her eyes starting to droop.

“Marie” Lexa addressed their charge, slightly shaking her shoulder to stop her from falling asleep just yet. She took the plate of food away again, recognizing that the girl was actually too close to falling asleep already, to force her to continue to eat, but rather replaced the plate with a mug containing a sweet juice. Clarke had told them, that getting sugar and liquid back into the girl’s system was of utmost importance.

But the day had been extremely long for Marie. She had trained long hours with Anya, been emotionally upset and trained even more hours with Ontari later, so it was no wonder that the girl was so exhausted now.

Lexa retrieved a bowl of water and some cloth from the bathroom, the girl’s leg was still crusted with blood and that needed to be cleaned off, before they could put her into bed.

Marie was taking slow sips of the juice at first, before she suddenly downed the whole cup in one go, just realizing now how thirsty she was.

Anya shortly hoisted the girl up from the couch, the girl’s trousers needed to be removed as well.

Marie groaned and swayed on her feet, her arm shot out and she tried to hold herself up by grabbing at Anya’s frame. The pain which suddenly shot through her leg was immense and making her dizzy with dark blotches appearing in her field of vision.

Anya took off the girl’s boots for her, quickly untying the laces and discarding the boots on the side. They would need to be cleaned as well, blood had gathered in one of them, as it had run down Marie’s leg.

Marie had worn tight trousers made from leather and Anya fumbled to get them down the girl’s legs, while keeping her upright at the same time.

With an annoyed huff, the general took a dagger from her own thigh and simply sliced the garment open, taking the now rags from the girl’s legs.

Anya took the washcloth from Lexa’s hand, while the commander refilled the girl’s cup with more juice and then went over to a chest and rummaged through it, searching for lose fitting trousers which were soft enough to sleep in.

The general quickly cleaned the girl’s skin around the bandage from the remaining blood and helped her into the fresh pair of trousers.

“Can you walk?” Anya asked their charge in a critical tone, as she let go of the girl’s shoulders.

Marie’s features clearly showed in how much pain she was in and she immediately swayed on her feet at the loss of support from her mentor.

Anya sighed under her breath and carefully gathered the girl up into her eyes, trying not to jostle the injured leg too much. Judging from the pained groan pulled from Marie’s lips, she had not succeeded completely there.

The fact, that Marie did not ask Anya to stay with her in the bed, just showed how much the girl was truly exhausted. It seemed the girl had drifted off, as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Anya slightly shook her head as she tucked the furs around the girl’s frame. What a day that had been, she mused internally. She smoothed some blonde locks from the girl’s forehead and smiled slightly, when the girl seemed to lean into the caress.

Risha jumped onto the bed and curled up at the foot of the bed, obviously intent on sleeping as well.

Anya stepped over to the commander, who had sat down on an armchair. Lexa seemed to be deeply in thought and traced her fingers over her lips.

“So, you have kissed” the general observed in a teasing tone.

Lexa looked slightly startled and she could not quiet hide the blush rising over her cheeks. “We have” she finally admitted, there was no sense in trying to deny it to her former mentor. The older woman had always been able to read her very well and it seemed that it would never change.

“But…” she started, but faltered slightly. Talking about feelings was slightly unusual between them and Lexa was not entirely sure, that the general would wish to engage in talk like that.

“But?” Anya answered, taking up something to eat for herself. She had kept her voice low, although she doubted that they would wake up Marie.

“We have kissed already three days ago” Lexa told the older woman, not really meeting her eyes, but remembering the fleeting press of Clarke’s lips on hers and her own surprise at the act.

Anya raised a brow critically “That explains at least, why your mood was this bad. You could not face Clarke and she did not come here”.

Lexa sighed and nodded glumly. She did not know, if the blonde healer would have come on her own or if it had solely been her instinct as a healer to come into the commander’s quarters and offer aid.

“She has not forgiven me” Lexa proclaimed after a few moments of silence. She wished to earn the other woman’s forgiveness, although a part of her was convinced that there was nothing she could do to earn it, in fact did not deserve it as well.

Anya hummed nonchalantly, waiting for her former second to sort through her thoughts.

“I do not know, if I can ever earn it” Lexa said “Or even deserve to”. Her voice had a slightly bitter quality to it at the end.

Anya sighed, there was no piece of advice she could offer to the other woman. “Maybe Marie’s advice is not that off and she can forgive you. I guess a part of her already must have”.

“She said that she would try” Lexa told her former mentor.

“It will not be easy” Anya commented. When it had become clear, that feelings were growing between Lexa and Costia, she had cautioned both of them, what complications a romance between them would be bringing. She could understand in part, why Titus was trying to instil into the nightbloods, that being a commander meant to be alone. It made leading easier and offered no weak points to exploit for your enemies.

But Titus’ teachings also contained the fact that a commander could never have children, that the nightbloods were supposed to be the only children in the life of a commander. Marie may not be theirs by blood, but the girl had grown to be a sort of daughter to both of them and the people had accepted the Sky girl without much protest.

“I am aware” Lexa nodded with a downcast expression. She did not think, that she would survive to lose another love in the fashion she had lost Costia. Her eyes travelled to the bed and she thought that losing Marie would prove to be as painful and destroying to her.

How much her life had changed in the last months and in particular since the Sky people had crashed on earth. Marie had changed both of them and Lexa was sure that she had the unwavering loyalty of her general and Gustus at least, even if it would become public knowledge that she held feelings for the blonde Skykru leader. She was well aware that she would be needing this loyalty to keep herself in the position of the commander. She wished to show their people that they could live a life filled with peace and maybe she would be granted some amount of happiness for herself as well.


	143. Chapter 143

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who voiced their opion regarding a longer happy ending. I hope I will be able to give you exactly that someday.
> 
> Previously in chapter 142  
> Anya talks with Marie, assuring the girl that nothing had changed between them. Later Anya and Lexa talk about the feelings growing between both leaders.

Chapter 143

The wound proved to be more painful and disturbing than Marie would have thought possible. Marie was used to sleep curled on her side, cuddling up to either Lexa or Anya. Under the effects of the tonic the girl had slept peacefully for some time, but as the tonic started to lose some of its numbing effects, she started to move around as her sleep got lighter.

Lexa and Anya joined their charge, when it became apparent, that she would not settle down again on her own.

Marie woke up only shortly later with a mixture out of a pained groan and a whine. She had rolled onto her side to cuddle up to Anya, putting her weight onto her wound.

“It hurts” the girl complained in a tired voice, glaring down at her leg pathetically. Her expression was half shadowed and half illuminated by the few remaining burning candles.

“You need to sleep” Lexa said lowly, as the girl had turned back to lay flat on her back.

“I don’t like sleeping on my back” Marie huffed and turned slightly to face the other woman. She pulled her legs slightly upwards and groaned again as the muscles shifted in her wounded thigh.

“Lay still” Anya reprimanded their charge, voice tinged with a strict tone.

“It throbs” Marie said after a moment of silence.

Clarke had told them, that their charge should not get more of the tonic for the night. It was too high concentrated and the healer feared, that Marie had lost too much blood already and the tonic would be too strong to be administered again so soon.

Lexa knew that Anya had very little patience for complaints like that, so she motioned the girl over to herself, waiting patiently until the girl had found a somewhat comfortable position, closing her eyes again and falling asleep, as Lexa lowly hummed the lullaby under her breath to the girl.

The night trudged by slowly and Lexa doubted she had slept more than a few minutes throughout.

Marie had been unable to stand from the bed in the morning, she had nearly collapsed as she tried to stand. Anya had caught the girl before her leg could give out and hoisted her back onto the bed, barely concealing her impatient expression. The general knew it might take Marie quiet some time to recover from the wound, before she could train again, not counting the chance that an infection might set in.

When Titus came into the commander’s quarters just as Alira brought breakfast, Anya left. The general had little patience left to hear whatever the flamekeeper had come to say and she was even grateful to have scheduled a training session with her unit in the early hours of the morning.

The flamekeeper looked as though he had not slept at all since the assassination attempt against his commander. He had several books and a few scrolls of parchment packed in his arm and Lexa furrowed her brow in silent confusion.

Alira had held true to her promise and had retrieved honey cakes for Marie to have for breakfast. Even though the pain had only intensified over the night, Marie still smiled gratefully at the kind gesture and devoured the first cake in a few quick bites.

“What is the meaning of this, teacher?” Lexa asked the flamekeeper, as the man had started to lay out several of his books onto an empty table.

But the man stayed silent, looking at Alira with almost distrustful eyes. Lexa immediately recognized that whatever had kept Titus busy had to do with Marie and her healing talent.

The handmaid bristled slightly under his obvious distrust, but she followed the commander’s mute dismissal instantly, only worry now reflecting in her dark eyes.

“What has happened?” the flamekeeper asked the commander, dark eyes flitting questioningly over Marie’s obvious injury.

“A training accident” Lexa answered, before Marie could open her mouth and elute to Ontari’s involvement. The commander knew, how hard the flamekeeper was already training the Ice Nation nightblood and she doubted he would see it as a severe loss if she died in training, so she did not wish to give him even more reason to accidentally kill her. The worry her former teacher now seemed to display for her second puzzled her though. She was aware that the flamekeeper had started to accept, that the girl would be staying by her side and had found a begrudging respect for her, but he had never expressed any other interest in Marie.

As the door fell finally shut behind the retreating handmaid, Titus turned to his various text. His blank features morphed into exasperation as he said “I have searched through every transcript, every journal, every prophecy, every whisper and every tale which was noted down and there is nothing”.

Lexa shortly glanced over to Marie. The girl was still eating the honey cakes, but she had slowed down and seemed to listen intently to what was being said. It would have bewildered her, if the girl was not interested to find out about her talent.

“There is not even the slightest hint to a power like this” Titus continued, looking through the texts again.

“Anya thought that she had heard a rumour of people who could heal with their touch among warriors of the Desert Clan” Lexa interrupted his search. She had read almost all of these texts as well during her time as a novitiate and she could not remember a single reference to powers which could be considered supernatural, like Marie’s healing talent clearly was. It was also entirely possible, that it was just an exaggerated story passed along by the fires of the Desert Clan and that Zora had told it to Anya and the general simply did not remember anymore, where she had heard of it.

“It simply has to be given to her by the spirits and the flame” Titus said while he was furiously scribbling a note to pass on to a messenger. “I will send…” the flamekeeper started to speak.

The commander interrupted him. She had stood up and glanced over his shoulder, reading what her former teacher was writing. “You will not” Lexa told the flamekeeper in a tone that left no room for discussion.

The bald man looked at the young commander with a ceased brow, internally wondering why she did not wish for him to inquire about what the Desert Clan might know. He had chosen his words carefully and although he agreed that it was not to become public knowledge, that the commander was now protected by someone gifted in healing, there was still a real possibility that the power had some sort of catch, they did not know of yet.

“It does not matter, where Marie has gotten this miraculous talent from, Titus” Lexa firmly said “What matters the most is, that we keep it as secret as possible.”

The flamekeeper nodded “She must be kept save and close to the commander to revive the vessel of the flame if needed”.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the bald man, taxing him with a silent warning glare. It did not sit well with her at all, how Titus was now speaking about misusing Marie’s talent to protect the vessel of the commander. There was no guaranty that Marie would be able to heal whoever rose as the next commander at all, but she had not told the flamekeeper yet, that Marie’s healing power did not encompass all people.

“Heda, we must…” the man continued with an unflinching glance. It was obvious he had thought long about what he wanted to say and he would not be deterred.

“No, Titus!” she interrupted him with a firm tone “I do not wish to hear anymore about this. Leave us now!” her eyes were angry on the order.

The flamekeeper clenched his jaw visibly and his dark eyes flashed, but he inclined his head subtly and stood up, turned on the spot and stormed from the commander’s quarters.

Marie looked over at Lexa from the bed with confusion on her face. She did not like the way the flamekeeper spoke about her, but she would willingly protect and heal Lexa, making sure she would remain the commander for many years.

“You know, that I will always heal you, Lexa?” Marie asked tentatively.

The girl flinched slightly, as the commander’s angry gaze turned to her, before Lexa’s eyes softened.

“I know that, Marie” she agreed with absolutely sincerity. Lexa’s eyes were apologetic now. She did not doubt even for a moment that Marie would always heal every wound she suffered if she could. But she could not help but fear what retribution would await the girl. A talent so pure and good like healing wounds, even deathly ones, just with a single touch, had to have a price.

Her thoughts were interrupted from another knock. Clarke wanted to check on Marie’s wound. Lexa felt her features relax and a small smile tugged at her lips at the sight of the blonde woman.

“Good morning, Heda” Clarke greeted the brunette woman with meaningful blue eyes, before she turned to Marie “How are you feeling?”

“I cannot stand on the leg” Marie answered with a small pout on her lips, although the wound was still pulsing it annoyed her not to be able to move.

“You have tried to stand?” Clarkes asked with a raised brow, her voice slightly higher. It was obvious she was not pleased to hear that.

Marie shrugged nonchalantly “Of course” she retorted with a slight frown.

“You need to rest, Marie” Clarke stressed and turned to Lexa “She needs to stay of the leg for a few days. She could have already teared the stitches”.

Lexa nodded, sighing under her breath. She doubted Anya would have the patience to wait the healing process out, before wanting the girl back to training and judging from the last time Marie had been ill, the girl would quickly start to get bored, once the initial pain faded.

Clarke lips thinned, when she removed the bandage. Marie had indeed pulled some of the stitches. “I will need to removed them completely. Stitching over the partially pulled ones, will just make it more uneven”.

Marie’s grey eyes widened visibly when Clarke took a small dagger, intent to tear the remaining stitches.

Lexa moved over to the bed and sat down behind Marie, so that the girl could lean against the commander’s body, offering silent comfort to their charge.

Marie gritted her teeth, when Clarke did remove the remaining stitches and her face became visibly paler at the sight of new blood running down her leg.

Clarke’s blue eyes were almost apologetic, when she pushed the needle through the girl’s wound again to stitch it back together.

Marie was panting heavily and had taken hold of Lexa’s hand, squeezing them rather hard for support.

“You did well” Lexa assured the girl with a slight smile, when Clarke finally replaced the bandage after the stitches were finished.

Clarke’s smile at Marie was more pronounced, but there was also strictness in her expression when she said “Stay off that leg now, Marie. I do not wish to redo them a third time”.

Marie nodded fervently, she also had no wish to have to feel the pain of a third time as well. She had tried hard to stay as silent and still as possible through the whole process and she felt a little more appreciation for the warriors she had watched being tented to by Nyko in TonDC, who had all endured their treatments without so much as bating an eye.

“If you feel feverish or as if the wound is swelling, you must alert me immediately” Clarke briefed the girl in a strict tone. If a wound like that caught on infection, it could quickly become deadly, if not treated at once.

Marie nodded again. She knew what an infection would mean to her now and she still needed her leg.

“Has Laurel already changed your bandage?” Clarke had turned her gaze to the commander.

Lexa shook her head in the negative and after squeezing Marie’s shoulder gently, she stood from the bed, with the clear direction for Marie to try to rest. Lexa motioned Clarke into the bathroom and the blonde healer followed her without a word.

Lexa took of her shirt and stood in the middle of the bathroom, waiting for Clarke to remove the bandage around her abdomen.

Clarke let her gaze travel over the skin revealed to her eyes eagerly.

A knowing smirk tugged at Lexa’s lips, when Clarke’s gaze finally met her own, and it seemed as if the commander stood with a slightly puffed out chest.

Clarke pursed her lips, but as Lexa’s smirk visibly dimmed, the blonde sighed and said in amusement “There is no need for me to boost your ego even further and tell you, that you have a very beautiful body”.

“So, you think me arrogant?” Lexa asked with a slight furrow to her brow.

Clarke shook her head, with a gentle expression “No, but immensely self-assured.

When Lexa was still frowning at the healer in front of her, Clarke leaned up slightly and pressed a soft kiss to the leader’s lips.

“But I have heard and seen enough of you, to know that you have every reason to be” Clarke amended honestly. In her function as a healer, she had indeed heard many of the citizens of Polis almost worshiping their commander.

Her own brows furrowed as she inspected both wounds on the other woman’s body, the looked almost fully healed. “Has Marie healed them again?” she asked in confusion.

Lexa shook her head “I would have felt it, if she did”. The commander stepped in front of a mirror, inspecting the wound on her chest herself.

“They do not require a new bandage” Clarke assessed. She stood behind Lexa and inspected the wound on her back. As she placed her fingers gently over the freshly forming small scar, Clarke could not shake the image of Lexa’s black blood gushing out of the wound from her mind.

Lexa noticed the dark memory passing over the other woman’s face and she turned around slowly. Clarke’s hand over the commander’s body as she turned, now resting on her side gently.

“I am well, Clarke” Lexa reassured her in a firm tone, but with warmth in her green eyes. She placed her hand over Clarke’s fingers, still warm against her skin, and squeezed them reassuringly. “The nightblood makes us heal faster”.

Clarke blinked slightly as if waking from a daze. Lexa could not identify the whirlwind of emotions flashing through her blue eyes. “Months ago, after the Mountain, all I had wished to do, if we were ever to cross paths again, was to squeeze the life out of your body, watch you bleed out in front of me” Clarke said in a heavy tone.

Lexa only nodded mutely. She did not know, if she should step away from Clarke and give her space. But before she could decide on how to proceed, Clarke spoke up again.

Clarke had seen the flash of hurt in Lexa’s green eyes at her words, but there was also understanding and no judgement in the leader’s stare. “And as I sat there, trying to keep you from bleeding out and failing. All I thought about was, that I had wasted all the time between us with petty hurt and anger. I did not wish for you to die. I do not know, if I should trust you again…”

Lexa slightly shook her head, stopping the other’s words. Following an instinct at the moment, Lexa let herself fall to her knees directly in front of Clarke.

Clarke’s blue eyes widened at the gesture and confusion clouded her expression.

Lexa looked up at Clarke with absolute sincerity and her green eyes were expressive in their emotions as she said “I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom Skykru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people.” Her voice was heavy and she remained on her knees in front of Clarke, patiently waiting for a reaction from the visibly stunned woman. Lexa did not wish to deal with Clarke on the basis of the commander, she wished them to be equal partners.

Clarke was overwhelmed by Lexa’s words for long silent moments and Lexa already feared with a sinking heart that Clarke would reject her words, when the blonde healer suddenly dropped to her knees as well, bringing them back onto the same level.

She still looked overwhelmed, but was smiling, when she kissed Lexa again. Lexa’s movements were slow and gentle against Clarke’s soft lips, giving the other woman enough opportunity to pull away and end their kiss, before she deepened it.

Lexa felt euphoric as their tongues met for the first time and it was as if an electric current ran trough her body, pulling a soft moan from her lips against her will. Lexa’s hands had slightly tangled into Clarke’s blonde locks, while Clarke’s hands wandered over her exposed sides, emitting a shiver to run over the commander’s body.

Both of them were breathing hard, when they finally parted for air, resting their foreheads against each other in an intimate gesture.

Lexa internally thanked whatever higher deities there might be, for granting her a second chance at love.

Clarke’s pupils were visibly elated and there was a flush to her cheeks, Lexa suspected that she was in a similar state. The smile that tugged at her lips, felt almost giddy at the moment.

Marie suddenly yelling at Risha to get down from the bed, pulled them apart completely.

Clarke shook her head with an amused smile, as she took Lexa’s outstretched hand and let herself be pulled to her feet. “Making it into bed together will be rather complicated” Clarke teased with twinkling blue eyes.

Lexa opened and closed her mouth without producing any words, unsure of how to react to the obvious jab. “I would never presume that you wish…” she started to justify her reaction, as Clarke’s amusement only increased.

“I know, Lexa” Clarke said with a dip of her head. It was blindingly obvious that Lexa would not assume anything. The commander may be self-assured but she was extremely humble at the same time, a combination Clarke had never seen before like that in anyone. “I wish for everything” she said, voice heavy and grave as she stared in the commander’s green eyes “Everything, that you can give me”.


	144. Chapter 144

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 143  
> Titus is frustrated that he was unable to find any reference to a talent like Marie’s. Lexa and Clarke have a little moment together again.

Chapter 144

Clarke left the commander’s quarters with a smile still on her lips and a shine to her blue eyes, but she had promised Laurel to help with taking care of the sick in the capitol and was scheduled to meet the old woman soon. She would have preferred to stay with Lexa and spend the day with her in the privacy of the commander’s quarters, but she had the gnawing suspicion that Lexa would take up her duties again, now that her wounds were almost healed and she was not required to rest any longer.

Lexa asked Marie why she had shouted, slightly annoyed with the girl for the interruption. She was aware that the bathroom, with Marie sitting beyond the door, had not been the right place nor the fitting moment to deepen things with Clarke. But still, the moment their lips had touched, all sensible thought had left her mind, replaced by a growing need to feel the blonde’s skin beneath her fingers, to hear her moaning out her name and to watch her become undone beneath her administrations.

Marie complained that Risha had just jumped up the bed, nearly jumping onto her wounded leg.

“You need to teach her obedience, Marie” Lexa reprimanded the girl. She knew, if Anya was sitting here right now, the general would not have reprimanded the girl this gently. Anya was annoyed with the wolf’s lack of behaviour. As they let have Marie more freedom, the wolf was solely lacking in discipline as well.

Marie nodded with a slight pout. The wolf was sitting at the foot of the bed, almost scowling up at her human.

“I will join a meeting with the ambassadors now, Marie” Lexa proclaimed and started dressing herself with the pieces of armour signalling her station as commander. She knew that Titus had handled the daily business in Polis, but she had still been absent longer than she would otherwise and she felt better to hear the complaints herself and making the judgements herself. She just did not feel well leaving the coalition in Titus’ hands for prolonged time.

Marie’s face fell slightly, the prospect of being left alone in the commander’s quarters spoke of long hours of boredom. Anya could be gone for the training for several hours before she returned.

“You do not need to stay alone, Marie” Lexa offered “Who would you like to accompany you?”

Marie did not even think for a moment before she answered “Ontari maybe?” there was a tentative question in the girl’s tone.

Lexa’s lips thinned slightly, but otherwise she controlled the displeasure at the girl’s immediate answer. She would have preferred for Marie to wish for the company of Aden or one of the other nightbloods, but she could understand that Ontari would probably be worrying that she had seriously wounded the girl. Lexa and Anya still did not understand the growing friendship between the two unlikely girls and it worried Lexa slightly, that her words of caution had obviously been completely lost on their charge.

The commander nodded “I will have her summoned”.

Her voice must have shown the displeasure, she was trying to hide.

Marie looked slightly guilty and offered “It can be someone else as well”.

“It is alright” Lexa stopped the girl’s rambling and stood up “Lunch will be brought to you later. I will not return until later in the night”. After the meeting she would finally meet the nightbloods herself as well, assuring them that they did not have to fear an impeding conclave any longer.

Marie watched Lexa transform into the commander, as she changed into the armour of the commander. Her posture seemed to change and her whole demeanour almost screamed of power.

She smiled at the commander as she left her quarters, admiring the way the woman now looked like the very picture of a god, or at least what she would imagine a god to look like. She knew that she had been lucky everything had turned out the way it had, or she could very well had also ended up executed long weeks ago.

Marie waited patiently for steps to resonate through the hall and proclaim Ontari’s arrival. She did not have to wait very long.

Ontari looked visibly surprised why she had been summoned to the commander’s quarters, but the relieve was obvious on her features to spot only Marie in the rooms.

“How is your leg?” the nightblood girl asked immediately, stepping closer to the bed.

Risha stood in front of the bed, growling slightly at the nightblood. Ontari froze in her step, she was not armed at the moment and although the wolf was still young, she knew it could do some serious damage to her if it attacked her.

“Risha!” Marie addressed the wolf cub sharply, but Risha still growled threateningly at the Ice Nation girl, not minding her human.

Ontari carefully lowered a hand to the wolf’s muzzle, letting the animal sniff at her hand. All her muscles were tensed, ready to spring back in a second if needed, but after long moments, the wolf suddenly relaxed and licked at her fingers.

Marie looked visibly relieved, while Ontari frowned at the wolf, pulling her hand away again and walking around the animal, keeping her gaze locked onto it, if it changed its mind suddenly.

“It hurts” Marie answered honestly to Ontari’s first question. She told the older girl that she had pulled the stitches in the morning and that Clarke had renewed them for her.

“I am sorry” Ontari apologized honestly, voice slightly heavy with guilt. She had wounded and killed many people in the name of queen Nia and she had never felt any kind of guilt for the pain and death she had caused. Remorse and guilt were new feelings for her and it were not feelings she enjoyed. “I had not meant to hurt you more than with a few scratches”.

“I know” Marie retorted with absolutely conviction, that surprised Ontari into speechlessness for a moment.

 

Lexa left her quarters with a straight back and her head held high, she barely felt more than an uncomfortable pull from her wounds now and was grateful for the black blood running through her veins which had enhanced her healing process.

Gustus nodded to his young commander with a slight smile and compassion in his dark eyes. He was relieved to see the woman back on her feet and heading to retake her duties. He had seen Marie heal her wounds, but still the few days of the commander’s absence had been enough to start tensions between the ambassadors.

When the doors of the throne room were pulled open for the commander and she swept into the room, silence fell between the ambassadors. Varying degrees of shock flitted over several of their faces.

Lexa did not look over to them, until she had stridden through the room and turned around, casually sitting down on her throne and only then staring through the gathered crowd of ambassadors and sentries of the different clans. Most of the ambassadors looked relieved and Lexa believed in the honesty of their expressions. But she still noted on the expressions of the Ice Nation ambassador, the man which had been sent to replace the one she had kicked out of the tower, looked openly angry and disgusted. What worried her internally were the looks of fright quickly passing over the faces of the Rock Line and Lake People ambassadors. Both clans were near Trikru lands with the Ice Nation, if queen Nia managed to convince both clans to side with her and denounce the coalition, it would be a heavy blow to their coalition. The three clans together would be able to raise a huge enough army to openly declare war with the rest of the coalition. Lexa could not let that happen or what she had worked on for so long would be futile now.

She would send out spies into all three clans, trying to figure out how deep the connections between their leaders was and if they might know more about the failed assassination attempt on her.

What surprised her slightly, was the open relieve on Monty’s features. She doubted that the young man had any real compassion for her person, so it puzzled her, why he was relieved.

The meeting itself was not different from any other. Her absence had made them antsy, there had been unrest between a few ambassadors about trade agreements, trying to get more for themselves without the commander to negotiate between them, enforcing that weaker clans did not get exploited.

She quickly righted the ambassadors in their disagreements, reminding them that she was the one who ruled the coalition and had final say in every agreement, no matter how significant.

When she dismissed the ambassadors, Lexa halted Monty’s retreat, asking for a word with him in private.

The young man looked slightly startled at the request and the Rock Line clan ambassadors seemed to shout him a warning glare, before retreating from the throne room.

Lexa dismissed Titus and the guards, asking Monty to follow her onto the balcony. The snow was still falling around the capitol and the wind was icy when they stepped out onto the balcony.

“Heda” Monty respectfully said, inclining his head, but the young man quickly looked nervous under Lexa’s strong intense stare.

“Has someone approached you, Monty of the Sky people” Lexa asked the ambassador in a strong and unwavering voice, her green eyes boring into his dark ones.

Monty looked away from the woman for a moment, his eyes looking over the city beneath them. Much had changed for him in the few weeks he had now spent in the capitol. Kitara had been of enormous help in his quest to try to learn Trigedasleng as quickly as possible. She teased him about his pronunciation to no end, but he was now able to follow at least most conversations. He had spoken to Kitara about the Rock Line clan ambassador waiting for him in his quarters two days ago. The man had looked like a seasoned warrior and Monty had chosen his words as careful as possible. Kitara had advised him to speak with the general or the commander about the offer made to him.

Lexa could see the conflicting emotions flicker over the ambassador’s face, but she waited patiently for him to make up his mind. She knew that making him talk with force could only result in tensions between Skykru and the other clans and the vow she had spoken in front of Clarke echoed in her mind. Clarke regarded this boy as a friend of her and Lexa would not harm one of her friends, if she could help it.

“Yes” Monty finally agreed after long moments of silence. His dark eyes flitted to the door of the balcony, as if afraid someone would listen in on their conversation.

“Threats have obviously been made” the commander observed the skittish ambassador, who now looked more to be a boy than a man.

Monty sighed, before he nodded. Kitara had advised him to be absolutely honest, should he get the opportunity to speak to the commander. “The Rock Line Clan ambassador was in my quarters the day after the attempt was made on your life” he narrated cautiously “The man wanted to assure Skykru’s vote.”

“Vote?” Lexa asked with a furrowed brow. A suspicion dawned on her mind that the Ice Nation could try to convince the other clans to hold a vote of no confidence against her and by thus remove her from command.

Her suspicion was confirmed when Monty answered that the ambassador had seemed sure that the commander would not regain full health and needed to be removed to be replaced by a stronger commander.

“What was your answer to him, Monty?” the commander wanted to know, after a moment of silence. Thinking over fervently, that it seemed as if it could be necessary to interrogate all of the ambassadors to make sure of their continued loyalty to the coalition and she needed to broaden the network of spies in each clan and ask for word from those which were already in place. It was possible that an ambassador was acting on his own terms and decisions, but it would mean an even heavier blow to her position if the clan leaders had started to question her strength as the commander.

“Skykru will stand with you commander” Monty answered without hesitation “The Trikru have been generous to my people to let us stay on your land, commander, my people know that. We would not have survived through the winter without your help and the supplies you gave to us. We do not regard you as weak, Heda.”

Lexa inclined her head in silent acknowledgment, she felt a surge of gratitude to the calm boy. Even though Trikru had truly helped Skykru and ensured that they would survive through the winter, much blood had been shed between both of their people, enough for Skykru to have reason to side with another clan, if the clan offered a better deal. But she believed the young man, that he did not plan on betraying her. Titus had not been pleased with her initiating Skykru into the coalition, but if they would stand loyal to her, it would be enough to quell the flamekeeper’s doubt.

“I had not expected it to be this …” the boy hesitated for a moment, obviously searching for the right words “…like a power play of children”.

A slight smirk tugged at Lexa’s lips as she inclined her head again “Politics often are just that. Has Kitara been helping you? Your Trigedasleng has improved a lot”.

“She has” Monty nodded and a look of warmth passed through his dark eyes.

“May I ask you something?” Monty asked tentatively after a moment of silence.

Lexa inclined her head. It was obvious they boy was unsure of himself right now and probably afraid to be overstepping. She had not heard any complaints over him, so he had obviously settled in well into the capitol and his duties of an ambassador.

 “I was wondering if there were any customs regarding courting among Trikru?” Monty asked, the subject seemed to be embarrassing to him, as a slight blush covered his cheek.

Lexa blinked at the young man for a moment, astounded by his boldness to ask her such a question. She was glad, she had requested to speak with him in private, she doubted that even Gustus would have kept a straight face at such a question directed at his commander.

She slightly cleared her throat, feeling highly out of her comfort zone to be discussing courting rituals with the Skykru ambassador. “I assume you wish to court Kitara?” she asked not looking at the young man, but staring out over the city.

Monty nodded and the blush only increased noticeably.

“Simply let her know your intent” Lexa advised. There were in fact courting rituals, but none that Monty would be able to follow. He had no position to prove his ability to protect and care for possible children. “If that is all…” Lexa let her voice trail off in a silent dismissal and the young man took his cue after a slight nod and nearly fled from the balcony.

Lexa remained on the balcony for some time. She enjoyed the cold crisp air moving almost like a caress over her face.

She whipped around long moments later as she heard soft footfalls behind herself, a hand already on the dagger strapped to her thigh. Lexa relaxed her hands when she recognized Clarke behind herself.

“Has something happened?” Lexa asked with a slight frown as she had not expected to see the blonde healer.

“No” Clarke shook her head and an almost shy expression was on her face “I had actually just wanted to speak a moment with you”.

Lexa answered her words with a slight smile “Of course. You can stay to meet the nightbloods if you wish. I am expecting them later”.

Clarke nodded. She stepped closer to Lexa. The commander stood facing the capitol beneath them and her fingers laid on the cold railing of the balcony, while Clarke now leaned against the railing and looked straight at the other woman.

“About what did you wish to talk?” Lexa asked the blonde woman, looking at her with a gentle warmth in her green eyes.

“About us” Clarke answered bluntly, straightening slightly. She had made up her mind and wished to see what could develop between them.

Lexa nodded with a cautious expression, as much as she wished to follow her heart, she knew that she would be putting Clarke into danger. “You know that the day that we owe nothing more to our people will probably never come” the commander said with a slightly heavy voice “I am the commander, always, and only my death is going to change that. You know what happened with Costia…” Her voice trailed off and a dark look passed over Lexa’s face as memories of finding her lover’s head in her bed clouded her mind.

Clarke frowned as she looked at the older girl. She had never seen the weight of Lexa’s position resting more heavily on her shoulders, which she knew were not that broad under her armour. “You do not wish for…” she started to say, but Lexa interrupter her.

“This has nothing to do, with what I wish, Clarke” Lexa said vehemently “I do wish for us to become more, I wish it much more than I should. But it puts you in danger. I do not want to see you get hurt because you are mine”.

“I am not Costia” Clarke insisted, keeping her voice strong but calm “It is my choice if I want to be with you, Lexa.”

Lexa sighed visibly and her body seemed to deflate somewhat “Costia said the same thing. I had promised to protect her, keep her save. I know now how foolish a thing to promise that was. And I know that I can never promise you safety”.

Clarke watched the emotions flash through Lexa’s green eyes and she felt a surge of compassion for the leader. The woman would clearly let her go if she decided that loving the commander was too dangerous, it seemed even that Lexa would prefer her to make exactly that choice, but she would not be deterred now. She knew of the dangers, but she was already in danger. “I am Wanheda now, Lexa” Clarke said ruefully “It might even be a match of strength your people could accept” she mused after a moment with a slight smirk.

Lexa raised a brow “That is no matter to joke about, Clarke. Mockery is not…”

“…not the product of a strong mind. I know, Lexa” Clarke retorted with a slight roll of her blue eyes. Her expression turned serious a moment later “I know, that it is a break in tradition for the commander to be with someone”.

The commander slightly shook her head “It is not, not really. There have been commanders before to have a partner. But it never ended well.”

Clarke sighed “You do not really sound, as if you truly want us to become … something” she settled on after a moment.

Lexa looked up sharply, her eyes nearly burning in their intensity and her fingers were ice cold as she grasped onto Clarke’s hands “I do, Clarke. But as the commander…”

Clarke pulled a hand from the commander’s grip and gently placed a finger on the other woman’s lips, silencing her words efficiently “I do not ask the commander, Lexa, I ask you. I did not fall for the commander, Lexa. I know that I cannot have you without the commander, as you are one”.

Lexa smiled slightly at the other girl. It was obvious that the blonde healer had thought long about what it would mean to be with her and about the dangers associated with that as well. “It will not be easy” Lexa finally said, when Clarke removed her fingers from the commander’s plump lips and gently caressed her jaw.

“I know” Clarke assured the other woman and when Lexa leaned into her gentle caress slightly, she leaned forward and connected their lips in a soft kiss.

“It will not be long before there will be rumours” Lexa breathed, when they separated again “I want a guard to accompany you, always”.

Clarke sighed, but she inclined her head in agreement. It was obvious that Lexa already feared for her safety and if a guard would put her mind at rest, Clarke would accept a guard, even though she regarded that as unnecessary.

Lexa was the one to lean over and kiss the other woman again, relieved that the stubborn blonde accepted the guard without putting up a fight, which she had expected beforehand. Her cold fingers gently scraped over Clarke’s neck, sending shivers through her body as they kissed, when Gustus announced the arrival of the nightbloods and pulled them apart and from the balcony.


	145. Chapter 145

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 144  
> Marie invites Ontari to spend time with her, while Lexa returns to her duties as the commander. Lexa and Clarke speak about their possible relationship, after Lexa holds a meeting with the ambassadors and notices that three clans seem to plot against her.

Chapter 145

The nightblood children were all visibly happy to see their commander on her feet. Aden and Thalu looked relieved, both of them seemed paler and tired, as if they had spent the last days worrying over the prospect of the conclave hanging over their heads. Lexa assured them, that she was fine and that the assassination attempt had clearly failed, she left out Marie’s involvement in her healing though.

When they spotted Clarke, who had remained on the balcony for a moment, simply watching the reunion between the nightbloods and Lexa from afar, the children straightened and curiosity was obvious on their faces. Clarke’s features were friendly and open and a smile was on her lips.

She patiently answered the children’s questions about the life they had had on the Ark.

Lexa watched on with fond amusement dancing in her green eyes as her novitiates asked Clarke questions, similar to how they had done already with Marie many weeks ago. They all knew more about Skykru now, so their questions had changed a lot from the ones they had asked Marie.

 

After Marie and Ontari had talked with each other for some time, which mostly consisted of Marie blabbing about something and Ontari only nodding every now and then, the younger girl had run out of things to say and lunch was brought in by Alira.

The handmaid’s smile was honest when she looked at the commander’s second, but her smile froze visibly when her eyes connected with the Ice Nation nightblood.

“Do you need anything?” Alira asked Marie, when she handed her a plate with food.

Marie shook her head with a bright smile and a thankful nod and the handmaid left again.

Ontari watched the woman leave and snorted under her breath, shaking her head in disbelief.

“What?” Marie asked, head cocked to the side in confusion at the older girl’s reaction.

Ontari’s dark eyes held something Marie could not decipher as she said “It is a wonder that they all seem to love you”.

“They don’t” Marie denied immediately with a frown. What should such a statement even mean?

Ontari huffed with a roll of her eyes, but did not comment any further.

They ate their lunch mostly in silence and Ontari was slightly surprised to see, that they did not receive anything more extravagant than what she was given daily in the tower. She had expected that the commander’s quarters would only receive the best, but she had somehow already guessed that Lexa was not the kind of leader to exploit her position like this.

Ontari frowned, when Marie took up a second plate after the first, which only seemed to hold small pastries. The girl offered her some of it, but she reclined. She was not used to sweet things like this, they rarely had something like this in the lands of the Ice Nation. It was obvious though that Marie enjoyed the small treats greatly.

Marie prompted her again to try one of the pastries and with a huff Ontari took one, biting off a small bite and tasting the thing cautiously. It was disgustingly sweet and she pulled a face, prompting an open laugh from Marie.

Ontari frowned at the younger girl laughing at her, but the girl still looked friendly and did not seem to laugh out of malice, so tentatively she joined in. It was a strange feeling to laugh with someone like that on her own expense, her usual reaction would have been to lash out.

When Marie stopped laughing, she picked up a book and held it toward Ontari with the plea “Read to me”.

Ontari grasped the book unsurely. She had been taught how to read, but not very well, the focus of her education, if you wanted to call it that, had always been fighting.

She opened the page of the book, which was marked and stared at the page with a frown, it was written in Gonasleng. She knew, that she was able to fluently speak the language, but reading it out loud was different.

“…And then, once you had man…mana…managed to find them, there were the classes th…the...themse…themselves. There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your wand and saying a few funny words. They had to study the night skies through their tel…tele…teles…telescopes every Wednesday at midnight and learn the names of different stars and the mov…move…movem…” Ontari tried to read out loud to Marie and stumbled over a lot of words, as she did.

“…movements…” Marie chimed in helpfully “You can’t read very well” she commander with a slight frown.

Ontari closed the book with a snap, glowering at the younger girl, slightly offended “There is no sense in books” she snapped.

“Lexa says there is wisdom in books” Marie proclaimed with a frown “You need to sharpen your mind, just like you sharpen your blade on a whetstone and books are the whetstone of your mind”.

Ontari rolled her eyes at the comment, choosing to stay silent instead. After some prompting she did open the book again and continued to try to read to the younger girl.

Ontari stayed with Marie for a few hours, until Anya returned from the training pits. The general’s brown eyes visibly narrowed at the sight of the Ice Nation nightblood sitting comfortably on the commander’s bed next to Marie.

Marie only smiled shortly at Anya, before her eyes were drawn back to the book in Ontari’s hands. Anya watched with a furrowed brow how their charge was obviously in the process of honing the other girl’s reading skills in Gonasleng. 

It was obvious quickly that Ontari did not wish to continue trying to read out loud in front of the general and Anya simply told her to go back to the conclave and join them in training, as she would stay with Marie for now.

Marie visibly shuddered as Anya cracked her knuckles loudly, to realign them after a long and strenuous training session.

“One of the carpenters is going to make a crutch for you” Anya proclaimed to Marie, ignoring the girl’s reaction completely. That way their charge would at least be able to attend a few meetings and theoretical lessons, instead of sitting idle in the commander’s quarters for several days.

“When will Ontari share quarters with the other nightbloods?” Marie asked suddenly, after nodding to Anya’s previous statement.

Anya stopped in her movements, having been in the process of taking off her armour, and furrowed her brow critically. Marie had startled her with the seemingly out of the blue question. “Has she complained about that to you?” Anya inquired, wanting to know where the question came from.

Marie shook her head, honesty shining in her grey eyes, mixed with compassion. “No, she has not. I doubt, that she would though. But I know what it is like to be kept in isolation, it sucks” the girl commented and a shiver visibly ran through her body as memories of her time within the Skybox resurfaced.

Anya lightly shook her head, it was a mystery to her how the girl still managed to have this much compassion for everyone else. “It is for Lexa and the flamekeepers to decide” she finally answered the original question after a few moments. If she had any say, the Ice Nation nightblood would remain isolated and heavily guarded until the next conclave after Lexa’s death, which hopefully would not be held for several years.

Marie only hummed in response, her eyes still trailing over the sides of the book from the world before them.

“You should be reading the first commander’s journal and not this thing” Anya reprimanded their charge, a slight bite to her tone.

With the faintest blush to her cheek Marie closed the old novel ruefully and turned her best big wide-eyed stare at the general “But it is only written in Trigedasleng now, it is hard to read” the girl complained “And it takes forever...” as her voice trailed off, she gestured widely to emphasis her words.

Anya rolled her eyes and stared down at the girl with strict features “That is because you lack practise” she chided “Which you are not going to get, if you do not keep on trying”.

Marie pouted slightly, but accepted the first commander’s journal from Anya with only little reluctance obvious within her expression. The girl seemed to overthink her reaction quickly as she asked “Can you help me?”

The general nodded, sighing under her breath. She was able to read and write, but it had never been one of her favourite activities, she preferred to actually do something active with her hands instead. She settled down onto the bed carefully intent not to jostle her charge’s injured leg too much.

“No signs of an infection?” she inquired. It looked like the bandage was slightly strained with seepage, but it did not look like actual bleeding. It would still need to be changed again sometime soon.

Marie shook her head “But Clarke had to redo the stitches” the grimace was clear in the girl’s voice. “And she said that I am not to stand up at all or that I would pull the stitches again” Marie enumerated to which Anya only nodded in mute acknowledgment, the general had not expected differently.

When Marie opened her mouth to keep on conversing with Anya, the woman narrowed her eyes at her charge and pointed at the book in the girl’s hands. It was clear that the girl had simply tried to divert her attention from the task of practise, but Anya would have none of that.

Marie sighed under her breath, but she obliged the silent order immediately.

Anya knew that Lexa would have been better suited to help Marie in practicing her reading skills of Trigedasleng. The commander had a better skill in it and was far more patient with children, but Anya thought she held up very well and tried to keep her caustic comments to a minimum.

To Lexa and Tris her barbs had always been like further incentive, but Anya had to recognize that it had the opposite effect on Marie most of the time. The blonde girl mostly reacted unsurely and obviously questioned herself afterwards and how much truth may have been in her mentor’s words, so Anya now had to think more carefully about what she said.

 

Clarke had been happy enough to answer all of the nightbloods questions. She was intrigued with the novitiates. Lexa had explained to her prior that these children were raised in the capitol so that one of them could ascend as the next commander after her own death. But to her it was obvious that they all were still children, she could see facets of Lexa in all of them and it was apparent that the commander had spend a lot of time with them. Clarke did not know yet what the conclave truly was, but she had wondered why the novitiates were all so young. She had a suspicion what the conclave entailed, but she would need to ask Lexa for specifics.

After the novitiates left the throne room, Clarke and Lexa stayed alone.

“You said your successor would be chosen by reincarnation” Clarke started carefully “How does this work exactly”.

Lexa sighed under her breath, she knew that Clarke was asking after the conclave. She rarely thought about her own conclave, much less spoke about it. After her own ascension she had been haunted by nightmares about having to kill the other novitiates during the conclave. They had grown up as brothers and sisters, friends united by the same fate and although she had tried to keep a certain distance to the other novitiates, she had still felt for them. Pictures arose in her mind unbidden of how the younger novitiates who had barely passed their sixth summer had not even put up a fight during the conclave, silently asking for a quick and painless death.

She straightened herself, feeling the calm and stony mask of the commander settle over her features. Even years later the memories of the conclave hurt deeply. “When I die, the spirit of the commander will leave my body” Lexa explained in a calm and even tone “We believe that the commander’s spirit will give strength and guide the novitiate who is meant to become the next commander.”

Clarke nodded with a slight frown “What happens at the conclave? And what happens with the novitiates who are not chosen as the next commander?”

Lexa looked out of the window of the throne room shortly, snowflakes were dancing outside whipped around by a strong breeze. “Novitiates who have passed their sixth summer will compete against each other in the conclave. It is a fight to the death”. She remembered vividly how the sand in the arena had turned muddy and black after it had been soaked with the blood of the fallen nightbloods.

The commander had turned her back to the blonde woman, unwilling to watch the emotions flash through her blue eyes, judging her undoubtedly. She could still hear Clarke inhaling sharply.

“So, you had to kill the children you grew up with to become the commander” Clarke finally said after a long pause, her voice was wavering slightly.

Lexa nodded stiffly, still not meeting Clarke’s eyes.

“How many others had been competing against you?” Clarke wanted to know, sensing that Lexa would not share the information without prompting. She could imagine how hard it must have been to live with what she had to do.

“Eight” Lexa answered curtly “But one ran away in the night before the conclave”.

“How old have you been at the conclave?” Clarke asked tentatively. The tension in the other woman’s body was apparent and she could understand her reluctance to speak about the conclave.

“I was 12 summers old” Lexa answered with a sigh.

“12?!” Clarke echoed with such disbelieve that Lexa turned back around to face the younger woman with a raised brow.

“Age matters little to my people” Lexa offhandedly added.

Clarke nodded, swallowing forcefully. She looked at the throne shortly and could not stop her mind from conjuring the picture of what she assumed Lexa must have looked like after her ascension. The armour of the commander still looked enormous on her frame, but a twelve-year-old girl must have looked ridiculous even.

“I truly cannot imagine twelve-year-old commanding whole armies” Clarke finally commented. How could such a young girl have gotten the respect of her people? How did Lexa manage not to crumble under the guilt? She was still haunted by the bubbled and contorted faces of those she had killed in the Mountain. But having grown up with those Lexa had to kill, was something Clarke could not even begin to fathom.

“And yet I built the coalition” Lexa countered, pride clear in her green eyes. She believed that the coalition was the only way to unite the clans and by thus work towards lasting peace which could finally allow all of the clans to thrive.

Clarke nodded in mute agreement, she had not meant to offend the older woman. “How old are you now anyway?” she wanted to know next, steering the conversation away from Lexa’s own conclave.

“I have seen 21 summers now” Lexa answered easily, the tension slowly draining from her frame. She would tell Clarke more about the conclave someday.

Clarke raised a brow “So, you have been commander for nine years now. How long does a commander’s reign normally last?”

Lexa’s features became sombre in the blink of an eye before she formulated her answer “The commanders before me usually reigned between two and five years. So, I have long outlived my life expectancy if you want to put it like that.”

A frown settled on Clarke’s face and it was obvious she worried for Lexa, but the commander refrained from commenting that the novitiate who would take her place would protect her, aware that her assurance would not ease Clarke’s mind at all.

“But I have also been the only commander to unite the clans under one flag” Lexa reasoned, still trying to ease the blonde’s worry “I hope to continue my reign for many years”.

“You better do” Clarke commented almost sharply “I need your spirit to stay where it is. I do not want the next commander, but you. And I am the commander of death now and I do not allow you to die”. Her words had been passionate and Lexa’s green eyes danced with fond amusement and a smile pulled at the corners of her lips.

“Would there not be another way of choosing the commander?” Clarke asked after a moment, a slight blush was colouring her cheeks at Lexa’s silent reaction to her passionate short speech.

Lexa sighed under her breath. She had spent a lot of time pondering on exactly that question. The problem was that she had changed so much already in the last few years that such a big change would only be met with resistance if she tried to push it through forcefully. Her people believed in strength and what better way to show superior strength than to compete in a fight to death? If she managed to maintain her role for more years, she might come to a point where she could convince Titus and the other flamekeepers of another system, which would not require the death of all novitiates, but this were thought to contemplate in the future.

“There might be” Lexa conceded “But it is not the time yet to make such changes. With tensions rising again, it would only make people question my strength again if I tried to change the conclave now”. There was regret in Lexa’s voice and Clarke stepped closer to the older woman, softly taking the commander’s hand and giving them a squeeze.

Lexa smiled almost ruefully at the blonde “I do not wish for my novitiate to have to go through the same…” her voice trailed off, wavering noticeably.

Clarke nodded “You will find a way to change the conclave. You managed to form the coalition and bring peace to the clans, there is probably nothing you cannot do”. She smiled at the commander reassuringly, voice full of conviction and she leant up to place a loving kiss on Lexa’s full lips.


	146. Chapter 146

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to all who left a comment behind =)  
> So, the "new plot" will start with this chapter.
> 
> Previously in chapter 145  
> Ontari spends some time with Marie, keeping the girl company. Anya helps her with reading Trigedasleng. Clarke meets the novitiates and she speaks about the conclave with Lexa.

Chapter 146

The weeks passed quickly as Marie was still confined mostly to the commander’s bed. A week after her injury Anya had brought her a cane to lean on, so that she could at least accompany Lexa to her meetings again. 

The snow had started to melt when Clarke finally could remove the stitches from the girl’s leg. The wound had formed an even long scar on Marie’s upper thigh and the girl was oddly proud of her first real training scar.

Clarke and Lexa had spent as many private little moments with each other as possible. But Lexa had outright refused to stay overnight in Clarke’s quarters and with Anya and Marie still residing in the commander’s rooms, there had not been a chance yet of truly spending a night with each other. Neither of them minded that much, Lexa was happy enough to spend a few minutes with the blonde healer each day and simply get to know her a little better with conversations held over lunch.

Clarke herself had also been occupied. The citizens of Polis had fully accepted her as a healer now and she was now officially working as one of the healers of the tower. She had been quite surprised when Lexa requested to receive some teaching from her in healing and even more so when the commander asked if she would be willing to teach the nightbloods as well. Titus had not pleased with the addition to the nightbloods tutelage, but Lexa had simply overruled his reluctance.

Clarke had started to enjoy the company of the nightbloods and gotten to know them much better. The children had at first been rather hesitant with her, when they were left alone with her for the first time, but quickly enough she had earned their liking and now looked forward to teaching them for an hour a day.

In exchange for teaching Lexa about the art of healing, Clarke requested to be taught some basic fighting skills as well. She had not argued with the commander about a guard now always accompanying her through the streets, but she wanted to be able to protect herself as well and she had stopped carrying around her gun long ago. Lexa had been hesitant to agree and she said that she would not be the one to truly teach Clarke, but that she would ask Anya to do so. Clarke had frowned at the denial and when prompted for a reason Lexa had reluctantly admitted that she would not be able to efficiently teach Clarke out of an unwillingness of hurting her.

Anya had agreed to the request of teaching Clarke with a gruff huff. She still did not like the blonde young woman, but she agreed that Clarke direly needed some fighting skills. She had insisted to Lexa that she would not go easy on Clarke and that she did not wish for her former second to interfere, so if she was to train Clarke, it would be on her terms and with her techniques without criticism from Lexa. The commander had agreed easily enough, she was aware that her general would not injure Clarke on purpose, although she doubted that Clarke had any true incline for what she had asked in the first place.

After Clarke had taken out Marie’s stitches, her first training session with Anya would be taking place. The general hovered behind her impatiently, but she was relieved that her charge could finally take up training again as well.

Lexa was in a meeting with the Glowing Forest ambassador who reported that sightings of mutated beasts were becoming more and more frequent at their borders.

Clarke nodded to Anya after she had put away her medical equipment. Although she had asked to learn how to fight, she was a lot less enthusiastic about the training now that she was truly faced with it. She remembered her fight with the older woman in front of the drop ship and she was well aware that she did not stand a single chance at defence against the general under fair conditions. If Anya wished she could kill her with probably just a single attack, although she highly doubted that Lexa would let her mentor kill her.

Marie was a lot more enthusiastic about the prospect of returning to training and was smiling radiantly. She had not left the tower even once after her injury and now that the temperature was rising again she was looking forward to spending time out in the sun. Anya had predicted that spring would be short and that it would warm quickly, apparently that usually happened after a harsh winter.

Risha had grown a lot over the whole winter and nearly did not look like a cub anymore at all now. The wolf reached up almost to Marie’s middle, but was still playful and soft around the girl. Anya had had a huger impact on the wolf’s training than Marie, but they were satisfied with how the animal behaved now.

The nightbloods were in the middle of a training session with Titus as well. Anya had decided to hold the first training session with Clarke in the secluded area normally reserved for the conclave, it would not do for the people to see Wanheda being beaten too easily.

She instructed Marie to run a few rounds around the field, turning to Clarke next. The blonde young woman did not look muscular but was rather lean and soft, she would also need to built up muscle first and her endurance would probably be short as well. Risha followed on Marie’s heels, running with the girl with a wagging tail, obviously enjoying the activity well enough.

As Anya had predicted Clarke lacked almost everything when it came to fighting, just like Marie had in the beginning. The general’s lips thinned visibly after she had tried to gauge the girl’s abilities and found them lacking. It would take a long time to get even the basics through to Clarke, she was not as young as Marie anymore and she had not found any inherent talent within the healer. The only thing that Clarke truly seemed to be was stubborn and Anya hoped that her stubbornness would be enough to endure the training regiment she would push her through.

Sweat was already running down Marie’s back when Anya finally called an end to her rounds and she was breathing heavily. Fortunately, the wounds in her leg seemed to have healed completely and she did not feel any pain from it.

Anya instructed Marie to face off with Clarke and afterwards manoeuvred Clarke’s limps into a fighting stance, signalling to them to start attacking each other.

Clarke’s brows were furrowed and it was obvious she did not wish to fight with Marie.

Marie herself looked a little unsure for a moment, but she straightened herself after Anya pointedly glared at her.

“Do not hold back!” Anya shouted sharply at Marie. The girl nodded and faced Clarke.

Although Clarke was of course taller and had more mass than the younger girl, Marie was able to beat Clarke with relative ease.

They trained with each other for some time. Anya watched both of them carefully, yelling instructions and criticism alike from time to time. All in all, the general was satisfied with Marie’s efforts and she had not expected more from Clarke.

Clarke felt exhausted and bruised when Anya finally called an end to their training. She already felt the heaviness settling into her limps from overuse and little injuries. She had severely misjudged the younger girl’s skill and was internally impressed with Marie’s progress. She doubted that any of the 100 would stand a chance against their youngest member now.

She was discretely rubbing at a tender spot on her backside, on which she had landed more often than she had anticipated, on the way back to the tower.

Marie was walking beside Anya with a childish and happy skip to her steps, Risha following her heels.

Anya narrowed her eyes at her charge “I hope you will move with more consideration when we go hunting tomorrow”.

“We are going hunting?” the girl asked enthusiastically and her grey eyes already shined with wonder.

Anya nodded curtly. She had spent too much time in the capitol without a change of scenery and she itched to get back into the woods and see something else than the streets of Polis. Marie had never been on a longer hunting trip and now that the weather was easing up, it was the perfect time to do such an excursion. She had already spoken with Lexa about her intention and the commander had agreed that it would be good for both of them. Secretly Lexa was looking forward to have her quarters to herself and spend some time with Clarke in complete privacy.

“Are we going to look for ice bears?” Marie checked eagerly.

Anya frowned “Certainly not” she answered with finality to her tone. Although she did plan to travel a distance from Polis, she did not plan on travelling into Azgeda land.

Marie deflated slightly, but she was still smiling “Can Risha accompany us?”

The general thought for a moment “We shall see how the horses react to her. But it would probably be better to train your wolf first to follow the horses close enough before that.”

Marie nodded as the reasoning made sense to her. She knew how the horses used to react to Risha even when she had still been a cub and she doubted that now that the wolf was grown it would be any easier for a horse.

Once they reached the commander’s quarters Marie eagerly relayed to Lexa how she had trained with Clarke and beaten her several times. Clarke had accompanied them into the commander’s quarters having been invited for dinner beforehand.

Lexa had finished with the meeting in a reasonably short amount of time. She had promised to send a convey of warriors into the land of the Glowing Forrest to try to erase the mutated beasts. The rest of the clans were suspiciously quiet and calm at the moment and Lexa was feeling anticipation because of the lack of unrest.

Marie had gotten used to Clarke being in the commander’s quarters more and more often and did not seem disturbed by her presence at all. Clarke had also started to instructed Marie in basic healing techniques, the girl had at first been confused why she would need such skills. She could heal Lexa and Anya at will and in her mind that was enough, but Lexa had quickly convinced her that basic skills in healing could not go amiss.

Anya on the other hand was rather annoyed by Clarke’s now almost constant presence in the commander’s chambers and was well aware that Marie and she were outliving their welcome and direly needed to move back to their own rooms. The constant romantic tension between both women was ruining her appetite. Marie did not seem to be put off by their behaviour at all, as if she did not seem to notice it at all.

Lexa’s green eyes immediately skimmed over Clarke’s body, searching for injuries the blonde woman might have acquired during training.

Anya barely suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at the open display of worry, while Marie already helped herself to a honey cake. “Lay that back down this instant” the general strictly reprimanded their charge and pointed at some vegetable and meat “Eat a regular meal first, then you may have a cake as desert”.

Marie pulled a face but she put the cake back onto a plate obediently. Anya had already banned her from treats of any form for a few days when she had disobeyed before and no matter how much she had tried to ask Lexa or Alira to sneak her a treat, both women had not budged.

Anya excused herself to return to the training pits, letting the other three alone. She would also need to organise some preparations for their hunting trip if she wanted to go tomorrow at dawn.

“Anya was not as annoyed as I had anticipated” Lexa teased the blonde woman with amusement dancing in her green eyes after the general had left.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the commander “Thanks for the vote of confidence” she shot back grumpily.

Marie looked at the commander with confusion but she kept silent and ate her dinner mutely.

“Will you go hunting with me and Anya?” Marie asked once the plates had been cleared.

“No” Lexa shook her head. After the fallout between Marie and Anya their relationship had not completely recovered and Lexa was convinced that time on their own together would help ease the general’s mind for good. Marie visibly pouted at that but Lexa ignored her expression and send her to the bathroom to get ready for the night.

The commander turned to Clarke once the girl had closed the door behind herself “I did not mean to upset you” she amended her prior barb.

Clarke shook her head with a soft smile “I know. Anya did not bite my head off, so that must count for something”.

Lexa could not help herself and laughed out loud at that comment.

Clarke smiled at the sight, she rarely saw Lexa genuinely laugh and she was pleased to no end with herself to have caused that sound to emanate from the young leader’s lips. Her green eyes seemed to twinkle and she looked completely carefree for a moment.

“What?” Lexa asked finally after the laughter had died a few moments later.

“Nothing” Clarke answered still smiling with a loving expression “I have never heard you laugh like that before”.

Lexa’s expression sobered slightly “There has not been much to laugh about in the last years”.

Clarke nodded again and took the commander’s hand over the table giving it a squeeze “I should retire now”.

Lexa nodded although she stopped Clarke before she could leave. She stood up from her chair and crossed the distance between them with two quick steps, evading Clarke’s personal space with an intense gaze. She gently caressed Clarke’s jaw, where a bruise was forming under her fair skin “Goodnight Clarke” she breathed against her soft lips.

“Goodnight Lexa” Clarke echoed a little breathless. No matter how faint and soft their touches were, they made her head spin and her heart beat faster in her chest and she was burning for the time they could finally take things further. She knew without the single shred of a doubt now that she loved Lexa with every fibre of her being and she was glad they had taken their time to really get to know each other a little better before things could heat up between them. There was still so much she did not know about the other woman and she was sure that she could spend the next decades at Lexa’s side and still not know all of her facets.

It was later in the night that Anya finally returned to the commander’s quarters. All was organized for the next morning and she was almost impatient for the time to pass.

Marie seemed rather antsy as well and they had great difficulties to get the girl to settle down to sleep at all. It was obvious that the prospect of her first long hunt was exiting their charge immensely.

Anya had decided against heading out with a large group but rather for going out only with Marie. The girl’s riding skills would be enough now to allow her to steer her own mount and by going out alone Anya could repeat basic lessons on how to built a camp for the night.

“When do you plan to return?” Lexa asked Anya in the near darkness of her quarters, once Marie had finally drifted off to sleep. The girl’s nightmares had gotten scarcer in the last weeks, but she still enjoyed snuggling up to one of them during the night and was now pressed against the commander’s side.

“In a moon at most” Anya replied. They had worked out the route she planned to take together with her former second, choosing terrain which would be easy enough to travel with the melting snow and would offer enough shelter and was far away from the border to Azgeda.

“Take care of her for me” Lexa said after a moment of silence. It did not need explanation that she meant their charge.

Anya nodded with a grave expression on her features. She would protect Marie to her last breath if needed but they did not anticipate for them to encounter any trouble.

The night passed relatively quickly and Marie was already lying awake when Anya finally rose the next morning.

“Have you slept at all?” the general asked the girl gruffly as she carded fingers through her blonde tresses.

“I am soooo exited” Marie answered almost buzzing with energy.

“That much is obvious” Anya commented drily and stood up from the bed, waking Lexa as well in the process.

The whole time Marie got ready Lexa stood behind her and lectured her about every little detail of their hunting trip and on things she should avoid or where to be even more careful. It was obvious that the commander was annoying their charge with her speech and Anya snorted under her breath as she dressed into her own armour.

Lexa insisted on accompanying them to the stables and seeing them off herself. Anya found that totally unnecessary but Marie seemed happy enough to wave back at the commander as they rode out of the city with the sun just rising on the horizon.

Marie had been given an older horse which was as tame as a lamb and should not give their charge any trouble. Risha had stayed behind in the capitol after the horse had started to bolt when the wolf came closer.  

Marie greatly enjoyed their trip on the first two days. It was still cold but the clothes kept the biting chill at bay.

Anya was satisfied with the amount of things Marie still remembered about their lessons and the girl had gotten much better at looking for traces and listening to the sounds of nature around herself. In addition, Marie had picked on quickly on what needed to be done to raise a makeshift camp and proved to be rather apt at cooking as well.

The horses were oddly anxious on the dawn of the third day. Anya and Marie had fastened them to a low branch of a tree, allowing them to graze while erased their little camp. They worked much better together than Anya had anticipated and she felt much more relaxed now than she had in the last month scooped up in Polis.

Anya halted in her movements when she noticed the horses shifting restlessly, neighing under their breath and their ears twitching nervously. She motioned Marie to do the same and the girl looked around with confused grey eyes, nothing seemed to be amiss.

The general let her brown eyes travel over the trees around them trying to spot what was spooking the horses. Horses had a better sense of danger than a human being could ever have and she trusted her own horse implicitly.

When she heard a low growl the hairs on her neck stood up and she heard a branch snap behind themselves.

She instantly pulled out her sword and when the growl resonated again, she knew without a doubt what they were facing. They called the beasts shadow cats, they had evolved from what once had been panthers. But these beasts were much larger and faster than a panther had been in the old world, they were hard to kill.

When Anya saw Marie also making a grab for her sword she shook her head vehemently. They would not be able to take on a shadow cat on their own. They were standing near enough to the horses to reach them quickly and a plan formed in her mind.

Anya pulled a dagger from her thigh and expertly threw it in the direction of their horses, efficiently severing Marie’s older horse. The mount immediately backed away from the tree and followed its instinct to flee.

The shadow cat seemed to contemplate for the blink of a second on who to follow before it launched behind the retreating horse.

“Quick!” Anya demanded from Marie abandoning their equipment all together. Shadow cats tented to hunt in pairs so it was reasonable that another one was lurking in the shadows around them.

Anya mounted the horse before Marie and hoisted the girl behind herself. When she kicked into her horse’s flanks her fears were confirmed as a second shadow cat followed them with a loud growl.

Anya felt the girl’s fingers holding on to her sides strongly as she tried to steer her horse through the trees as quickly as possible.

She knew that she had gotten a little distance between them and their predator when she located the opening to a small cave. Anya stopped the horse suddenly and put Marie down on her feet “Go into the cave. Hide there and do not come out before I get you” she quickly instructed fiercely and Marie nodded with a visibly worried expression.

The shadow cat was getting closer and Anya kicked her horse into a fast trot again “Hide!” she called over her shoulder one last time before her charge got out of view. She knew the shadow cat would be following her as they loved the hunt and getting the beast away from the girl was all that mattered at the moment.

 


	147. Chapter 147

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 146  
> Marie recovers from her wound. Anya takes up training Marie again and starts instructing Clarke. Clarke teaches the nightbloods healing now. Anya and Marie leave Polis to go on a hunting trip. Fleeing from a shadow cat Marie gets separated from Anya.

Chapter 147

Marie watched Anya riding away with a sinking heart, her mind whirling frantically.

She could see the shadow of the huge beast following Anya on her horse and it sounded like the horse she had ridden before had lost its race in the distance. Goosebumps rose on her arms involuntarily. What if the first shadow cat would seek for her once it was finished with her horse. Marie tried not to think too hard on the horse which Anya had just sacrificed just like that, she had dubbed it “cupcake” in her head.

Anya had always told her that seeking shelter in a cave was not safe from a predator because a cave did not offer any additional exit path, so she disregarded her mentor’s initial orders and searched for a tree to climb instead. She found one where the last branches hung low enough that she could reach them with a slight jump.

Marie cautiously climbed on the tree glancing back down every few moments to look for signs that the first shadow cat had found her. She climbed as high as she dared and when she looked down her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch; she had gone much higher than she thought and the ground looked to be so far away.

She sat down on the thick branch, where she had stopped, close to the tree trunk and kept her legs firmly secured around the branch, afraid of falling down and then she settled in to wait. Marie had no idea how long it might take Anya to get rid of the shadow cat and she could not shake the fear from her mind, that her mentor could fail and be gravely wounded, or worse killed, somewhere in the woods.

The minutes seemed to trickled by awfully slowly and her legs felt as if they started to cramp from the weird position she had on the tree branch. Marie carefully tried to loosen the clenching muscles in her legs and with a slight scream she felt her balance getting lost and the sensation of falling setting in. Suddenly she hit somewhere with her head and then everything was engulfed in blackness around herself.

 

Anya spurred her mare on to run as fast as possible, trying to bring it into territory where there might be more interesting prey for the shadow cat still following her closely. She was internally grateful to her horse’s endurance and when they crossed paths with a bear. The beast stopping in its tracks and growling loudly at her and her mount. Anya kept the reigns tightly in her hands and tried to keep her horse from giving into its instincts and flee.

She was lucky and the shadow cat that had followed them did not seem inclined to share its prey when another growl resonated behind them. Both predators staring at each other when the dark shadow cat sauntered out of the tree line into the clearing. When both predators finally launched at each other and their attention now solely between each other, Anya spurred her horse back into the direction they had come from, still keeping a fast tempo to bring as much distance between the predators and herself as possible. She clapped her mount onto its enormous flank in silent gratitude, bringing them now back towards her second. Anya internally hoped that the first shadow cat had given up its hunt after feeding on their second horse.

The general was wondering why a pair of shadow cats was this deeply into Trikru territory at all. The beasts normally lived way more south, but something must have shooed them from their grounds. She remembered that the Glowing Forest had had more sightings of mutated beasts as well and that brought the question what was now living south the lands of the coalition to force the beasts from their normal living places.

It took Anya some time to ride back to the place where she had left Marie. She dismounted her horse and left the mount at the entrance of the cave. Anya frowned, the ground looked completely undisturbed and no new footsteps were visible. Annoyance and worry took root in her mind instantly, where was Marie and why had she disobeyed her clear order?

She cursed herself a fool in her head for leaving the girl alone in the first place. But separating had been the only reasonable course of action. The girl would have only slowed her down and made it easier for the shadow cat to catch up with the horse, leading to both of them possibly dying.

“Marie!” Anya yelled for the girl leaving the cave and going back to the place where they had separated. The tracks on the ground were fortunately relatively easy to find and follow. She quickly found the girl’s trail and followed it. Marie’s steps lead Anya to a huge tree and the general furrowed her brow. She still called out to the girl every few moments again and waited for a reaction, but there was nothing. Only the wind which rustled a few leaves and her horse huffing still heated up from the race from the shadow cat.

Anya’s voice had turned more desperate as she yelled for Marie. Why was the girl not answering? Had the first shadow cat returned quicker than she had anticipated? But no tracks led to that conclusion. Anya circled the tree trunk and her heart fell into her stomach when she spotted a small pool of blood on a stone at its base. It was obvious Marie had hurt herself, probably after falling from the tree.

 

Marie’s POV

She blinked her eyes open carefully feeling a blinding pain shoot through her head and something sticky wet running down the side of her face. With shaking fingers, she touched the wet side of her face and when she inspected her fingers with morbid fascination, she recognized the red sticky substance for what it was, blood.

“Marie!” she heard a voice shouting in the distance, resonating painfully through her throbbing head. The girl got to her feet on shaky legs, having to steady herself against the rough tree bark. Her mind was sluggish and she stared into nothing for a moment, trying to remember where she was, or why she was here. All she could see where trees surrounding her and it took a moment for a voice to come back to her mind, someone had told her to hide, but she had no idea from what.

When she heard the name being called again by the voice of a female foreigner, she followed her instinct and retreated from the voice, which seemed to come closer. She had no idea how long she walked or where it was that she was going. She crossed a river, feeling water slip into her boots uncomfortably, but the cold of the water revived her for a little bit.

She stumbled a few times as she tried to get away and finally she fell again losing her footing. When she blinked her eyes open again, she found herself in a small creak, which could not possibly be visible from the ground. Her mind felt oddly heavy again and she gave into the tiredness, simply closing her eyes and slipping into oblivion.

Anya’s POV

Anya let out a shuddering breath when her fingers touched Marie’s blood. It was still mostly liquid and had just started to dry, so the girl could not have gotten very far yet. Flashes of Marie being hurt, stumbling through the woods occupied her mind, as the general straightened herself and took the reigns back into her hand. She would find Marie, she had to believe that.

Anya followed Marie’s tracks for some time with a frown. The girl must have moved pretty quickly, but why was she fleeing from her at all? She knew that a stream was located in the direction Marie’s tracks were leading her and Anya direly hoped that the girl had not crossed it. The foliage on the other side of the stream was thicker and it would be nearly impossible to find her charge’s tracks again.

She also kept her eyes and ears alert on the chance that one of the shadow cats had returned.

Her fears of Marie crossing the stream were confirmed when her charge’s tracks vanished just before the stream. Anya breathed a string of cusses when she mounted her horse again and led it through the stream, searching for Marie’s tracks on the other side. Her brown eyes searched frantically for some traces, but before she could find something Anya whipped around at the sound of something coming closer from the other side.

The general kicked her horse back into a fast trot even before she saw the shadow cat following her again. Anya direly hoped that her horse would be strong and fast enough to hold on for longer under the fast pace she had set.

 

Marie’s POV

When she opened her eyes again everything around her was blurry and as soon as she forced herself into a sitting position, the world around her begun to spin and she puked. The smell of vomit was almost acidic and she felt even sicker when the urge to puke relented for a few moments. She tried to get up from the ground and climb out of the creek. But no matter how hard she tried, she was unable to keep her balance against the strong spinning of the world around her. She kept on vomiting for some time and she wondered if there was even anything left to vomit. A thought settled into her sluggish mind, she needed water, she knew that dehydration was dangerous, but it seemed impossible to get out of the creek. She felt helpless, but the voice which had called the strange name was gone now. She had no idea who that voice belonged to, but the order to hide kept resonating in her mind and she could not remember from what, no matter how hard she tried. Her breathing and heart rate quickened when the realisation settled into her mind that she basically did not remember anything beside waking up at the base of the tree. She had now idea where she was, why she was there or even who she was. She barely felt it when she lost consciousness again.

 

Anya’s POV

Anya was nearly as exhausted as her mount when they somehow had managed to get rid of the shadow cat racing behind them. It was already starting to get dark and Anya just knew that there was not even the slightest chance she could push her horse to hurry back to the stream where she had lost Marie’s tracks. Anya only steered her horse back into a place which offered enough shelter to rest for a few hours. Everything in her screamed at her to just push past the exhaustion and continue her search for her charge, but she was sensible enough to recognize the impossibility at the moment.

To make matters worse it started to rain in the night. Anya would not admit out loud that there were tears running down her cheeks together with the rain drops, it was raining strongly and with every passing hour the chances of finding Marie’s tracks were declining dramatically. She was aware that they would be washed away in the morning, she would still try to find them again. Sleep evaded her for most of the night, but the general knew that her horse needed the rest as well so she stayed put and tried to fight off the hopelessness settling into her bones.

 

Lexa strode through her chambers in nervous anticipation. It was the third night now of Anya’s and Marie’s absence. She had been caught up in meetings during the first day making it utterly impossible to steal even a little moment together with Clarke. The commander had the suspicion that Titus had finally caught on to the fact that something was building between the two young leaders. The flamekeeper had kept her as occupied as possible although he did not broach the subject directly, probably knowing that he would overstep his boundaries if he did. Lexa had had a grand dinner prepared on the second night and waited nervously in her quarters only for a messenger to come to her some time later sending Clarke’s apologies that the healer had been called away to assist in a birth and it would probably take the whole night.

Lexa had cursed the spirits which seemed to have something against her finally having Clarke in total privacy but had resigned herself to the fact that there was nothing she could do. So, she had eaten on her own and turned in early. It felt oddly unfamiliar to have her quarters to herself again and Lexa was internally grateful that Risha still kept her company. The large rooms suddenly felt too big and too quiet to her, it was obvious she missed Marie and Anya, now that they had spent such a long time close to each other.

Alira had smiled graciously at her when she set the table in the commander’s quarters for two people again and Lexa had pointedly looked anywhere but at the other woman. The handmaid had been wise enough to keep her comments to herself and left in silence again. Lexa lighted the candles scattered around the room herself, basking her chambers in the soft flickering light of dozens of candles. She had learned to place them far enough away from anything which could catch fire easily the hard way.

Lexa waited anxiously, her stomach coiling uncomfortably and she chided herself a fool in her mind for even being nervous in the first place. There was no logical reason to feel this unsettled at the prospect of spending an evening and possibly a night with the blonde woman she loved. And yet her heart sped up even more when she finally heard Clarke’s loud footfalls in the hall, the healer had still not managed to start placing her feet in a more cautious manner, so it was always easy to identify her.

Lexa had discarded the attire of the commander, opting for soft dark shirt and tight dark trousers. She had scrubbed her face clean of the commander’s war paint and even taken off the commander’s icon of her forehead. Her brown hair hung in soft waves past her shoulders, brushed out carefully and her cheeks were rosy with the nervousness coursing through her veins. And her green eyes had regained the shine they had lost in the night Costia’s head had been delivered to her bed.

She stood only a slight distance away from the door and had clasped her hands behind her back, unsure of how to occupy them otherwise and she smiled slightly at Clarke when the woman rushed into the commander’s quarters.

Clarke remained routed to the spot for a moment, the apology for arriving late again dying on her lips at the sight Lexa presented now. The woman looked so utterly unlike the commander at this moment, replaced by a woman who was so obviously nervous and unsure that Clarke felt her own heart rate increase and an answering blush settle on her cheeks.

“Hello Clarke” Lexa finally said after a moment of heavily anticipation filled silence between them “I hope you are hungry”.

Clarke smiled back at the brunette woman with a slight nod and Lexa’s blush only seemed to deepen when Clarke looked around the room, noting what felt like hundreds of candles illuminating the chambers around them.

“I did not know, what you like, so I had a bit of everything be prepared” Lexa said motioning Clarke over to the set table “I can order for something else if there is nothing to your taste. Or we can skip dinner, if you are not hungry. I did not …” The commander nearly stumbled over her words in her haste.

“Lexa” Clarke interrupted her, softly putting a hand on the other woman’s elbow “It is alright. It looks perfect” she said honestly and sat down on the chair Lexa had pulled out.

Lexa took a deep breath and nodded, sitting down on her own chair “I am sorry. I do not know why I am this…” she stopped searching for words.

“Nervous?” Clarke asked with a slight tease in her blue eyes and Lexa nodded obviously reluctant to admit to what the commander must view as a form of weakness.

“So am I” Clarke added with an honest smile and Lexa seemed to emit a relieved breath.

The dinner went over a lot smoother than Lexa had feared. After the initial nervousness Lexa got Clarke to tell her something about her recent patients and the other woman instantly launched into an elaborate passionate speech. Lexa listened to her with a content smile, it was wonderful to her to see the way Clarke’s blue eyes now shone. It was obvious the healer was feeling better and Lexa hoped that she was at least partly the reason for that.

Clarke stopped talking abruptly when she noticed that she had been the one doing all the talking for what felt like an hour. They had even stopped eating already. But Lexa did not look offended in the slightest, it seemed that the other woman was genuinely interested in her work and content with just listening and nodding occasionally.

Lexa’s smile deepened when Clarke fell into silence and looked at her in an apologetic way. “I enjoy listening to you” she quickly reassured the blonde woman honestly. She could spend the whole night listen to Clarke’s melodic voice if that was all the healer was willing to do and she would be totally fine with it.

They stood from their chairs at the exact same moment and it was as if a magnetic force was pulling their bodies towards each other until they were standing across each other, barely any space left between them. Lexa could already feel Clarke exhale softly when she leaned down and their lips connected again. A feeling of contentment settled into her mind, nothing had ever felt this right than kissing Clarke at this moment, it felt like finally finding peace.

Lexa slowly and carefully placed her hands on Clarke’s hips, her movements slow giving the blonde every chance to signal that she was overstepping, but when nothing happened except Clarke coming even closer, Lexa deepened their kiss, their tongues enwinding passionately. Lexa moaned softly under her breath at the sensation when she felt Clarke’s fingers settling on her back.

The blonde felt like she had finally found her way home and she had never felt as safe on earth as she did encased in the commander’s soft embrace. She let her fingers trail over the hem of Lexa’s dark shirt before she pushed it up slightly, running her fingertips over the revealed skin. She had already felt and seen the commander just in her chest bindings but she was curious over every little scar she could feel on the young woman’s body.

Lexa took a little step back when she felt Clarke’s fingers treating under her shirt, but instead of retreating, she simply took off the shirt altogether and in a bout of boldness she unwound her bindings as well, leaving her upper body bare to Clarke’s probing gaze.

Clarke bit her lip almost hungrily at the sight. Lexa was lean and muscular and, in her eyes, absolute perfection. She looked like an artist of the old world could have sculpted her from stone to resemble a goddess. With what she hoped to be a flirting smile, Clarke took off her own shirt and chest binding, she had stopped wearing a bra when she found that the bindings were so much more comfortable, and waited for Lexa to react.

The commander’s pupils visibly dilated in obvious arousal at the sight, but her hands still hovered between them waiting for permission to touch the blonde woman. Clarke took her outstretched hands and gently pulled at them in the direction of the bed. She had no intention of stopping now and she could already feel arousal gathering between her legs.

Lexa willingly followed the blonde’s lead and when the back of Clarke’s knees finally hit her bed, the blonde laid down with a seductive smile. Lexa entwined the fingers of one of her hands with Clarke’s and straddled the blonde’s hips, while she caressed Clarke’s jawline with the other hand, trailing her fingertips down her neck and over her breastbone and finally between the valley of her breasts, letting them stop at her trousers.

Clarke squeezed the commander’s hand in silent permission. She smiled up at the woman who hovered above her with such wonder on her face that this was finally happening.


	148. Chapter 148

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 147  
> Marie falls from a tree and hurts her head, losing her memory in the process. Anya returns to search for her after getting rid of the shadow cat but cannot find her before she is hunter again. Lexa and Clarke finally have some privacy with each other.

Chapter 148  
Lexa did not know if she should consider herself incredibly blessed or cursed by the spirits to be granted not just one love but a second chance at love and true happiness in her life time.   
Her fingers trembled as she opened Clarke’s trousers fumbling with the button clumsily. She felt her heart beating even stronger as she stood back from the bed, sliding the trousers from Clarke’s legs. She leaned over the other woman kissing every inch of newly revealed skin gently and leaving a trail of hot open-mouthed kisses down the blonde’s legs.   
Clarke trembled under the gentle administration and she was torn between simply waiting and growling at the other woman to stop teasing her in such an exquisite way. She watched in absolute awe how the commander kneeled between her legs at the foot of the huge bed and unlaced her boots, before carefully sliding them from her feet. She let out a strangled mixture of a moan and a laugh as Lexa kissed the arch of her feet and her breathing stopped for a moment when her green eyes, almost blackened now out of pure desire, connected with her blue ones.   
There was such an amount of pure love and adoration in Lexa’s gaze that it stole Clarke’s breath and she wished for the chance to see herself from the other leader’s gaze. She gently trailed her fingers over Lexa’s prominent cheek bones and when it looked like the commander’s green eyes seemed to fill with tears, Clarke pulled her back up on the bed, meeting her for an almost feverish kiss, hoping her lips and touches could express where words failed her at the moment.   
Suddenly the barrier between them left by her underwear and Lexa’s trousers were too much and she tugged at Lexa with an indignant whining sound.   
Lexa cursed herself in her mind for wearing skin tight leather trousers. She had to get off the bed again to slid them from her legs and she was surprised to see Clarke getting up again. Their positions were almost reversed now. Clarke kneeled down at Lexa’s feet and helped her with sliding down the tight trousers, taking off the commander’s underwear as well.   
She could hear the brunette inhaling a large gulp of air when Clarke hooked her fingers in the hem of her underwear and slid them down her incredibly long and toned legs. The other woman seemed to consist mostly of lean muscular flesh and still she had a femininity about her that almost clashed with the rest of her.   
Just as Lexa had done for Clarke, the blonde woman now left kisses down the commander’s long legs. Lexa had to sit down on the edge of the bed and angle her feet for the trousers to finally come off completely. She pulled at Clarke’s hands making her stand up in front of her.  
Their eyes connected for a moment as Lexa’s fingers fumbled around the edge of Clarke’s underwear and the blonde gave a subtle nod of permission.   
She was surprised by how gentle and considerate Lexa seemed to be. Somehow Clarke had expected her to be rough and passionate, but she had not considered how incredibly unselfish the woman beneath the armour was. If she backed out now, Clarke doubted that Lexa would hold that against her. The commander was probably prepared to wait a lifetime if necessary.   
Clarke stepped out of her underwear once Lexa had slid them down her legs and the commander left a kiss on the subtle curve of her stomach afterwards, pulling a giggle from Clarke’s lips.  
Clarke did not possess any real experience when it came to sharing her body with another female. She had kissed a girl before on the Ark but they had both been only fourteen and her father had burst into the room when they had started feeling each other below their shirts and she had been so embarrassed that she had been reluctant to repeat the safe experience of being caught by one of her parents.  
After landing on earth there had only been Finn and they had hurried things too much. She had thought to love the shaggy haired boy, but she knew better now. What she had felt for Finn did not deserve to be labelled as love though, it had been hormonal driven attraction. She had fallen for his flirtation like a naïve teenage girl.   
It was not comparable to what she now felt for Lexa. She just knew that what she felt for the other leader was the kind of encompassing love that you only found once in your life. Clarke hoped that she would one day find the words to express what she was feeling.   
She stood in front of Lexa, no barriers left between them, but Clarke did not feel the need to cover herself. Lexa’s gaze was tender and appreciative as it roamed over her body.   
Where Lexa was tan, lean and muscular; Clarke was pale, softer and curvier.   
Lexa’s tan skin was marked from the hardship that had been her life and training on the ground. Beside the tattoos on her arm and back, many scars littered her body. Some were barely visible anymore, having faded with time, while others still stood out starkly as white lines against her tan skin, where deeper wounds had nearly cost her life in the past.  
Clarke carefully climbed into the commander’s lap, straddling her thighs and she placed a kiss on the fresh scar left behind by the arrow. The wound which had forced her to face her lingering feelings for the commander. She would ask after the other scars one day, curious to know which story they told, but now was not the time.   
Lexa let out a breathy moan as Clarke leaned up and their breasts touched while their lips reconnected.  
Almost reverently the commander trailed her fingers down the blonde’s back, until she gripped onto her backside, kneading the soft flesh beneath her fingers.  
Clarke moaned loudly at the sensation and arched her back sensually. She shuddered strongly when she felt her wet centre rub against Lexa’s defined abs in the process. Her breathing turned to short gasps as Lexa encouraged her to repeat the motion. Lexa leaned down her head until she trailed kisses from the blonde’s jaw down to her breast, taking an already erect nipple between her teeth. She bit down nipple and when Clarke whined at the sharp sensation of pain, Lexa soothed it almost apologetic with her tongue.   
Her moans got louder, but the friction was not enough and she did not wish to finish before they had really started.   
Clarke tried to back off a little and turn her attention to Lexa’s body, but the commander obviously had other plans. In one unexpected motion she had flipped both of them and now laid above Clarke one thigh wedged between the blonde’s legs. Clarke shamelessly rubbed herself against Lexa’s strong thigh and whined low in her throat when she pulled back, sucking and licking down her throat.   
Clarke felt like Lexa was worshipping her body, kissing and nipping at everything she could find on her trail down her body. She bunched the furs in her hands, clawing at them fervently, when Lexa finally reached her destination.   
Clarke nodded several times in compliance when Lexa paused again, before finally putting her mouth against her already wet centre. The blonde shuddered at the feeling and she felt herself nearing her peak way too quickly under Lexa’s administration.   
She was utterly helpless against the onslaught of sensation. Clarke tried to hold on for as long as possible, but her body had other plans and with a loud guttural moan, she came. Clarke felt Lexa kiss back up her body gently and settle herself beside her on the bed, drawing lazy circles on her stomach, while Clarke tried to gather herself.  
The commander’s green eyes seemed to twinkle when Clarke regained her breath after reaching climax and her fingers were gentle and soft, a loving expression on her features.  
Clarke was nervous to reciprocate, she had never done this and she did not wish to make it wrong somehow. But Lexa seemed to sense her hesitation, whispering to her that it was alright if she did not wish to do it.   
Clarke shook her head with a slight blush trying to explain that she was simply inexperienced. A new facet of wonder and admiration seemed to take residence within Lexa’s green eyes, when she understood the meaning behind Clarke’s mumbling.   
Clarke was unsure if she wanted to reciprocate with her mouth, just as Lexa had done, but the commander took the choice from her by gently coaxing her fingers to the brunettes centre and demonstrating on how to stroke her.  
It was obvious quickly that Lexa was not as vocal during sex as Clarke was. A sliver of restraint seemed to cling to the brunette even in the throes of passion. But Clarke was determined to make her lose her restraint some time. She still could take her cues from the quickening of Lexa’s breathing, from the soft moans she emitted and from the way her muscles rippled under her skin.  
As she had expected Lexa came almost silently, the complete relaxation of her muscles the only indignation of her climax.   
Clarke softly nibbled at her neck, up her jaw, convinced that leaving a hickey on the commander’s skin was an utterly stupid idea, although she did feel the sudden urge to mark the other woman as her own in some way.  
Lexa looked totally relaxed and content and Clarke thought she had never seen her like this before.   
“I love you” the commander breathed against Clarke’s lips, feeling sleep already pull at the edges of her consciousness.   
Clarke did not know exactly what the words meant but she thought to know the meaning. The smile radiating from the commander’s youthful face when she repeated the words in English was almost blinding in its intensity.  
When she laid her head on Lexa’s chest, listening to her strong heartbeat, their limps entangled and sweat still drying on their skin, Clarke knew that Marie had been right all those weeks ago. Home was not a place, it was a person and she had found her home in Lexa.

The night passed awfully slowly for Anya and she only waited for so long as she thought absolutely necessary for her horse to rest a bit, she was not sure if she had slept at all during the night. Every fibre of her being screamed at her to search for Marie instantly. She knew that the girl was wounded and she had left her on her own in unfamiliar surroundings and basically defenceless.   
The general just took some dried strips of meat from the food she had packed for them and urged her horse back into a trot, eating on the go and not waiting even a moment longer. Anya still kept alert for predators who might have found them again.   
She impatiently urged the horse on. They could not travel as fast as Anya would have wished for, but the rain continued during the whole night and it was still raining. It had turned to ground slippery and difficult for the horse to navigate. But she knew that it would take her even longer without her horse so she needed to be careful before the horse slipped and broke a leg.   
Her mood was as bleak as the sky, hung with dark clouds and although Anya tried to stay positive that she would find Marie quickly but she could not shake the dark foreboding from her mind that filled her thoughts.   
She did not wish to think about the possibility that she would fail in locating their charge and yet she envisioned exactly that. How could a simple hunting excursion turn into such a disaster?  
Anya now regretted not having taken Lexa’s offer to have other warriors accompany them. If she had not been alone with Marie, there would have been no reason to separate at all, but she knew that letting her thoughts wonder like that was of no help.   
When she reached the region where she had lost Marie’s tracks the previous evening, the general started calling out to her charge.   
Anya quickly found herself losing the hope she had had to find Marie easily, when the woods around her remained stubbornly silent.   
Anya searched through the woods around the stream looking frantically for any signs of Marie, but she found nothing. She felt like screaming out of frustration. She had wondered the whole night where their charge was and she could not ban the picture from her mind of Marie sitting somewhere, bleeding and crying herself to sleep.   
Anya searched for several hours until she had to admit defeat. She did emit a frustrated growl, when Anya made her horse turn around sharply and urged it back into a faster pace.   
She barely felt it when the rain started to get through her coat, wetting her to the bone. The horse huffed in obvious effort to keep the pace the general demanded.   
They had covered the distance together in three days and Anya was eternally grateful that she had taken it easy on Marie. The girl was not used to riding large distances so Anya had stopped often and they had ridden at a slow to moderate speed, allowing Marie to get used to riding again. Anya judged that she could reach Polis at nightfall if she pushed her horse to its limits, but she was not sure if it would hold on long enough.   
The weather stayed against Anya, the rain got even heavier as the hours passed. Still Anya kept on pressing her horse to continue and when finally, the outline of Polis appeared on the horizon she breathed out in relieve. The horse seemed to use its last strength reserves and galloped towards the capitol quicker again.   
Anya handed the reigns of her horse over to the second working at the stables and snapped at him to prepare another horse at once, together with others mounts. She had only wanted to quickly return to the capitol, gather other warriors to help her search for Marie and leave again as fast as possible.  
She strode over to the tower with fast long strides and the citizens still going about their daily business evaded her like the plague, making space in her path immediately.   
Anya sent a messenger up to notify Lexa of her arrival and she hurried to the level where most of the warriors were housed of the commander’s private unit who she had trained. She knew that the commander would not deny her if she wished to take all of them to help her locate Marie.   
She snapped orders at the first warriors she could find, instructing them to pack supplies within an hour and left again in a whirl in the direction of the commander’s quarters. She could dress in dry clothes before they left again.  
When Anya stormed into the commander’s quarters Lexa was in the process of dressing herself again. The general spotted Clarke behind her previous second and knew instantly what she had interrupted here.   
Something in her expression made Lexa pause and Anya knew that the messenger had not been granted entry yet.  
“Where is Marie?” the commander asked with a furrowed brow when Anya simply strode passed them, discarding her wet clothes carelessly on the floor.  
Risha whined at the general, sniffing her human on her but seeing no sign of the girl.   
“I do not know” Anya admitted through clenched teeth and quickly took dry clothes from a chest and redressed.  
“What?!” Lexa retorted.  
“What does that mean that you do not know?” Clarke asked with a frown.  
Anya whirled around and her brown eyes were blazing angrily. She did not know why, but it incensed her to find Lexa obviously romantically occupied, while she had spent the last hours worrying about the fate of their charge, although she knew that it was not fair on the younger woman.  
“We have encountered a pair of shadow cats and I left her at a place to hide and get rid of them” Anya retold quickly “When I returned later, she was gone. She must have climbed a tree and fallen down, there was blood. But I could not find her the next morning either. The shadow cats are still lurking around, so I need reinforcement.”  
Lexa had paled considerably at her mentor’s words. That meant that Marie had spent the previous night on her own who knows where in the woods and might possibly be bleeding to death somewhere at this very moment. “Take with you whoever you wish” she immediately said.  
Anya nodded curtly. Before she could leave, Lexa stopped her with a worried hand on her elbow. The commander’s voice wavered as she almost pleaded “Bring her back”.  
Anya nodded again, her eyes flashing momentarily before she turned hurriedly and left again in a whirl.   
The group who waited for the general consisted of twenty warriors and Anya sharply instructed them on what she had encountered and where she had seen Marie last and where she had lost her tracks.   
The ride to the place passed quickly and in silence. They had been given faster horses which were usually reserved for urgent messengers and Anya had urged them through the night, not caring about the darkness in the slightest. Once they had reached the terrain where she suspected Marie could be, they separated and fanned out.

When she woke the next time the pounding in her head had receded a little bit, but she was still woozy when she tried to get to her feet. It seemed to take her a long time to climb out of the creek again. She wondered how long she had been unconscious. It had rained during the time and the ground had turned slippery making it even harder to stay upright. She felt immensely thirsty, her lips felt as if they had already broken open due to dryness and she distinctly remembered walking through water on the way to the creek. Unsurely of the direction she tried to find her way back to the stream.   
She kept on glancing up to the sun trying to estimate how much time had passed and she had the suspicion that she kept on moving in the wrong direction altogether.   
What felt like hours later, she felt her strength leaving her body with every step, she could barely remain upright anymore. Her mind was sluggish and when she suddenly heard the sounds of hooves on the ground, she was too slow to search for a place to hide. She cowered behind a tree hoping that whoever was coming had not seen her, but she was unlucky.  
She did not know who it was she was facing. She did not recognize the woman. The woman had brown hair with blonde streak which was braided and dark brown eyes and she instinctively tried to inch away from the stranger.  
“So, I found you” the woman drawled in an almost bored tone.  
She narrowed her eyes at the woman “You know me?” her voice sounded unsure even to her own ears.  
She saw the other woman frown at her answer and something flashed through her eyes, something she could not identify quickly enough.  
“I do” the woman said, urgency now in her tone “I came to bring you back” the woman’s voice was softer now and she indecisively took the offered hand and let herself be led to a horse and hoisted up onto the huge mount. She did not recognize the landscape as the woman sped the horse up suddenly.


	149. Chapter 149

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 148  
> Lexa and Clarke finally have a night with each other. Anya searched for Marie unsuccessfully and returns to Polis for reinforcement. Marie is found by someone.

Chapter 149

Lexa looked behind Anya’s retreating form with worry clouding her expression.

Clarke had stayed back and watched the commander and general exchange a few quick words. She hoped that they would succeed in finding the girl quickly, she knew how much the girl meant to her mentors, losing her would be devasting to both of them. The realist in her could not stop her mind from calculating how long the girl had been on her own now and which injuries she might have sustained while falling from a tree. A human body could only survive so long without water, so she hoped the girl would be found before she died of dehydration, which did not consider the possibility of a predator finding the wounded child.

She waited until the general had stormed out of the room again, before she stepped closer to Lexa and placed her hands on the other woman’s back in silent reassurance.

Lexa’s green eyes shone with desperation when they connected with Clarke blue ones and her voice had a strange tone to it “What if they cannot find her?”

Clarke immediately shook her head “Do not think that. They will find her” she promised with a conviction she did not feel.

The ghost of a smile played around Lexa’s lips for a moment before her features turned serene again.

“Come” Clarke ordered and motioned to the bed. It would not help if Lexa stayed up worrying, possibly for days and exhausted herself senselessly in the process. Clarke would stay with her and try to keep her calm, she hoped that her presence would help divert the other woman’s attention.

Lexa was thankful for Clarke’s obvious attempt to reassure her of something that both could not promise, internally she prayed to the spirits to guide Marie safely back to them.

 

They had agreed to meet back at the tree where Anya had spotted what she assumed to be blood from Marie a few hours later, way past midday. They had also agreed to try to signal if one of them had been successful in location Marie and Anya felt her stomach coil tightly when they all turned up empty handed.

“Where is Echo?” she almost snarled at the warrior who had been supposed to build a pair with the Azgeda assassin.

The young man averted his gaze for a second and then mumbled “She claimed to be more efficient on her own. I can point in which direction she left”

Anya clenched her jaw together forcefully. If the assassin would not return soon, it meant she had left. She wondered why the assassin would chose to leave now, she had always questioned her loyalty to the commander, but the timing seemed off. Could she have found Marie? It felt as though the blood within her veins turned to ice at the thought and she forcefully had to shake the image from her mind of Nia sending another present to Lexa, a present in the form of Marie’s head.

Fortunately for the young warrior, he was able to find the path Echo had taken and Anya quickly followed it.

It took her some time to find what she had desperately hoped no to find. The woman had obviously gotten from her horse and stumbled upon Marie by chance. The girl’s tracks were easy to find and clumsy, as if she had barely been able to walk any more. Their tracks led back to where the horse must have waited and the Azgeda assassin had steered the horse in the opposite direction of Polis and instead towards the border to Ice Nation land.

Anya felt her body momentarily lose its strength and she fell to her knees, eyes closed tightly and lips pressed together in a harsh line, reigning in the scream she wanted to emit. She had no idea of knowing how long ago Echo had met Marie and how much of a headstart the assassin already had. The lands of Azgeda would still be mostly covered in snow and ice, giving the Ice Nation woman a clear advantage and she also would now the terrain way better, making it nearly impossible to catch up to her. Anya did not even the slightest idea where the Ice queen might be at the moment and that would be exactly where the other woman was heeded.

“Should we follow them?” the young warrior’s voice was almost tentative as he asked after a moment of silence.

Anya straightened herself, her features morphed into an expressionless mask and she shook her head “We will return to Polis” although it pained her deeply not to hunt down the assassin, she knew that she would be leading the other warriors into a certain death. They were not prepared for a long trip and definitely not one into the snow. They would never manage to find her, she had to face the harsh reality, that Marie was gone. The girl might not be dead yet, but she would be as soon as Echo reached queen Nia.

None of the warriors dared to say anything as she made them mount their horses again and urged them back into the city quickly. Anya would need to relay the message of what had happened to the commander. Lexa could send a messenger to queen Nia, demanding to get her second back and if she refused, Lexa would finally have enough reason to denounce Ice Nation from the coalition and declare war on them.

 

Lexa had spent both nights together with Clarke, getting very little sleep. She had tried to listen to every sound in the hall, hoping against all sense that Anya had already found Marie. Her mornings and day had been filled with meetings and in the afternoon, she had scheduled to train with the older nightbloods, while Clarke taught the younger ones a little bit of drawing. The children had heard that Marie was missing and they were all worried as well, so Lexa had readily agreed to Clarke’s offer to occupy them for a little bit.

She had paired off Aden and Ontari and was watching them fight against each other with staffs, throwing in a little criticism when it was warranted.

When she saw the group of warriors around Anya return her eyes frantically searched for Marie. When she did not spot the girl together with Anya, Lexa looked at the other riders, but none of them had a child with them. Anya’s expression was already enough to tell her, that they had indeed not found Marie.

Aden and Ontari had stopped fighting each other, when the commander had turned from their group. The blonde boy knew instantly what it meant that Marie was not with the general and he watched the dark haired nightblood instead. He could see the shock and honest sadness settle into her dark eyes before she became aware of being watched and glowered at him angrily.

“What happened to Marie, commander?” Aden cautiously asked. Because Marie was officially the first to the commander, the other girl’s fate was a matter to all of them.

“Echo has found her before I did” it was Anya who answered and the anger was clear in her steely tone. Lexa had gone pale and her eyes seemed unfocused.

Ontari’s head had instantly snapped to the general, disbelief marring her features.

“Her trail leads to Azgeda” Anya added heavily.

Ontari inhaled sharply, her mind whirling frantically. She did not wish to believe that the kind young girl could already be dead, but she did know that there was no way of predicting what Nia would do to her. If no clear sign of her death at the hand of the Ice queen would reach the capitol in the next weeks, Nia would have found a possible use in the young girl. Ontari had seen that happen already. Nia had imprisoned young warriors and after breaking their will had kept them, they were mostly the most loyal assassins later.

Anya stormed from the training grounds without waiting for any orders from the commander. She could not face her former second now, nor could she stand the presence of the nightbloods, looking at her with sad eyes.

She had no idea where she wanted to go at all. She did not wish to go into the commander’s quarters either, where she knew, Marie’s things would still be scattered around as if she just would return any moment. Anya stalked through the streets for a long time, until her feet carried her out of Polis and into the bordering woods. She felt her legs give out under herself and she almost fell to the ground, when hot tears fell down her cheeks.

Lexa ended the training by simply turning towards the tower and leaving the nightbloods, she felt numb, her mind had seemed to cease functioning and she felt that she needed to return to her quarters instantly or she would crumble in front of people who were never supposed to see the commander waver.

Lexa did not look at anyone of the guards as she strode through the tower and into her quarters, she felt Gustus’ presence linger at the door and she snapped at him to go.

As soon as the door fell closed behind him, Lexa stepped over to the table and her eyes filled with tears when she spotted the last drawings Marie had made with Clarke, while she had been forced to stay in bed with her wound. Her throat constricted painfully as she felt tears fall from her eyes unbidden.

She tried to busy herself with sorting through the things still scattered around the room that so obviously had belonged to Marie.

Lexa put a few things on the side to put them into a box she kept under her bed later, after she could discuss with Anya what the other woman might wish to keep for herself. The box contained little trinkets from her past, such as a necklace she had gifted to Costia.

She was still crying soundlessly when Clarke stormed into her quarters an unknown time later. The blonde stopped in her tracks for a moment “I am so, so sorry, Lexa” the healer emphasised honestly, voice filled with compassion.

Lexa stiffened for a moment in Clarke’s embrace, before even the last shreds of restraint crumbled within her and she answered the hug, almost clinging to the other woman, sobs shaking her whole body in deep grief.

It seemed to take Risha some time before the wolf understood why the commander was grieving and that it was linked to her human. The wolf suddenly started to howl loudly, as if to express and share the woman’s grief.

Lexa stepped back from Clarke slightly and Clarke thought to have never seen the woman so small and helpless, it looked as if she would fall under the weight of the commander’s regalia she was still wearing. Lexa crouched down slightly next to Risha and enveloped the wolf, silencing her howling to a whimpering sound, that seemed to resonate painfully within Lexa’s very heart and soul.

Alira brought something to eat some time later and by the redness of the woman’s eyes, it was obvious that she had already heard that Marie would not be returning.

Clarke did not voice her tentative thought that the girl was not yet dead and she knew the chances for her survival were rather slim. Queen Nia had already killed Lexa’s first love, she knew that, and killing the child she had apparently taken as a second and loved more like an own child, would only hurt and wound Lexa deeper, something the Ice Queen would surely wish for.

Clarke had tried a few times to talk with Lexa, but the commander seemed to be miles away and it was impossible to reach her right now. So, Clarke simply stayed close and when she spotted the drawings and the art supplies on the table, she picked up an empty sheet of paper and started sketching Marie.

When Lexa’s eyes seemed to regain some focus, Marie’s features were already recognizable on the piece of paper and the commander took a deep breath to try to stop herself before she continued to cry. She knew how very quickly a memory of someone you loved deeply would fade, so she was thankful for Clarke that she was already fabricating something to remember her by.

Although every bite she took seemed to turn to dust in her mouth, Lexa forced herself to eat something from the food Alira had delivered previously. She was still and would remain the commander to her last breath and she could not abandon her duty by weakening herself. She could allow herself the time to grieve in the hours of the night within the privacy of her quarters, but tomorrow morning she would need to sit through the next meeting and once again separate herself from her heart, blinding out the pain which seemed to rip her apart at the moment.

Clarke stopped in her sketching and smiled slightly at the brunette when she noticed that she had started to eat.

“I will not slack in my duty” Lexa commented, voice still sounding slightly hollow.

“I did not think you would” Clarke assured quickly, although she wished that she could convince Lexa that it was alright for her to mourn for the girl. She knew that the commander would not let anyone see her grieve outside of her chambers and that she could not as well without being regarded as weak, which could ultimately cost her life.

Risha sat at the commander’s feet, her muzzle lying on Lexa’s legs, while the wolf still whined softly Lexa occasionally stroked over her head.

Anya returned to exactly that scene. Her tears had run dry in the woods and her mind was filled with an almost crazed wish for revenge. She was regretting not following Echo instantly now. Although she could see clearly that Lexa had been crying as well, the sight of Clarke sketching Marie and Risha cuddling with the other woman, irked her the wrong way in the moment.

Anger suddenly boiled in her veins hotly. “I will take a few warriors into Ice Nation” she proclaimed through clenched teeth.

Lexa looked up at the general sharply and immediately shook her head “You will not. That would be declaring war”. Her voice was hard, although her green eyes still clearly showed her sadness.

“You would have me do nothing?! I can follow her now and…” Anya raised her voice, eyes blazing.

Lexa stood from her chair to make up for some of the height difference and her composure turned back into that of the commander “I repeat, you will not! You will stay within Polis and serve as my general”.

Anya gaped at her for a moment and Lexa already feared that the older woman would be too upset to think sensible now, when the general seemed to deflate “I need to do something” her voice had turned desperate and almost pleadingly “I left her alone…”

Lexa shortly looked at Clarke and the blonde understood that the other needed to have this conversation in private, so she quickly gathered her things, squeezed Lexa’s hands shortly and left.

“You are not to blame…” Lexa started in a soft tone once Clarke had left.

Anya, who had looked down at the floor, looked up again, eyes blazing angrily “But I am!” she yelled “I left her. I left her alone. I separated from her! I have sworn to protect her and I simply left her …”

“I do not blame you, Anya” Lexa tried to convince the older woman.

“But you should” Anya retorted darkly “And you will, one day” her voice sounded resigned.

Lexa shook her head in the negative “You have not killed her, Anya. You have tried to protect her” her voice was wavering slightly as well. She did not know, if she would have made a different decision in Anya’s place, but she had learned her hunting and survival skill from the general, so it was doubtful she would have decided in a different way. But she knew that it would never be fair of her to hold it against the older woman. They both needed to hold onto the fact that it would be Nia who would ultimately kill Marie. Both of them were not at fault at the girl’s death.

“And I have failed her…” Anya said feebly.

Lexa noted on the exhaustion deeply edged into the older woman’s features “Marie’s death is not your fault, Anya, nor will it ever be. And you need to rest, it does not do for you to waste away”.

Anya seemed to wish to protest, but Risha who had stepped up to her and nudged her leg silenced her. Lexa could see her brown eyes filling up with tears, but Anya rigorously blinked them away before they could fall and she nodded.

Lexa stopped the general when she realized that Anya intended to leave her quarters and simply said that she should rest here this night. She did not wish for her to be alone tonight, although she would not have said so aloud. Anya vehemently shook her head “I will return to my quarters” she insisted.

Lexa stopped her again pointing to the things she had already sorted through “These are all Marie’s things. I thought you would like to keep something…”

But Anya did not let her finish her offer “Burn it, for all I care” the general shot back in a cold tone and when Risha nudged her leg again, she stepped back with murderously glinting eyes “Keep the wolf, or I will kill it in the morning”.

Lexa was left in her quarters, her mouth hanging open in slight shock at the older woman’s outburst and she felt tears gather in her eyes again.

She knew that every person grieved in a different way, but it was obvious that Anya had already chosen to focus on her anger and that would turn her into a short tempered and maybe even dangerous general.

When she heard loud crashing sounds from the halls a few moments later and looked out of the doors to see the origin, Anya was hurling everything out of her own door which had belonged to Marie, including her smaller bed.

“Help her” the commander demanded from her guards, wanting to end Anya’s self-imposed torture as quickly as possible.

She also sent for her fastest messenger. Lexa had written a demand to the queen to be handed back her second unharmed. She would tell the ambassadors of her order and ultimatum against the queen within the next meeting. Should the queen kill Marie, Azgeda would be expelled from the coalition once and for all. Lexa did not truly believe that Nia would simply send back Marie, if the messenger even reached the queen before the girl was killed. But it would at least give her claim enough to declare war against Azgeda.

While she found solace in Clarke’s arms in the night, Risha rolled together at the end of the bed, Anya remained on her own. Gustus had tried to approach her, but he retreated in defeat only moments later.


	150. Chapter 150

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 149  
> Anya recognizes that Echo has found Marie and is bringing her to queen Nia, sentencing the girl to death. She brings the news to Polis and Lexa and Anya deal with their grief of losing the girl they considered a daughter.

Chapter 150

The woman urged the horse into an immense tempo and the world seemed to be flying by quickly.

She tried to hold onto the horse as strong as possible but the pace made her feel sick again after some time. Somehow riding with this woman did feel off, she could not pinpoint what felt wrong, but somehow, she was just aware that something was horribly wrong.

When the woman finally pulled the horse to a step, she nearly fell down the horse. The woman kept her from falling completely and she immediately dry heaved from dizziness. There was simply nothing left in her body to vomit out anymore.

She asked for the woman’s name in a tentative voice and the answer was a sharp “Echo”. She had no idea if she had truly ever heard the name before. But she did not even remember her own name anymore, so who knew? The woman took off a shawl and wrapped it around her head, saying that her hair needed to be hidden from view.

They had reached a terrain where snow was still covering the ground and the longer they travelled, the deeper the snow got.

The woman had halted their ride in what seemed to be a small village. But it only consisted of around five huts and she impatiently demanded that her horse be exchanged for a rested one. It was obvious quickly that the villagers were poor. They seemed dressed in multiple layers off rags to fend off the cold and still it was obvious that they were all thin from starvation.

She internally doubted that these people even had a horse but to her great surprise the woman was led to another hut, where two horses had been housed. In comparison to the people, the horses seemed to be well cared for and the man who led the woman to the horse bid her to relay to their queen that they had done their duty.

The woman took one of the horses without another word and hoisted her up in front of her. She had hoped that they would rest for a bit. She still felt thirsty, hungry and dizzy. But the woman did not speak another word to her, as she urged the new horse into a fast pace.

She had the foreboding that asking the woman for a break, water and some food would not go over well, so she tried to keep upright in the saddle and held on to consciousness for as long as her exhausted body allowed.

She must have fallen asleep for some time and when she woke again, her mind felt awfully slow and sluggish. Her face tingled uncomfortably from the cold and when her eyes finally cleared she could see snowflakes falling around them. It felt as though her eyes were watering and the tears seemed to freeze on her cheeks. She tried to keep still, but the woman had obviously realized that she was woken up.

“We will be there soon enough” the woman said in a sharp tone.

 

She still frantically tried to remember who she was, but she could not even remember her own name. So, when they finally stopped again, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, she asked the woman what her name was.

She did not like the glance in her brown eyes when the woman answered that her name would be “Marie” and she noted on the pause before she answered.

She had hoped that her name would cause something in her mind to react, but she had no idea if it was even her name at all or not. But what reason could this woman have for telling her a wrong name, so she assumed to truly be named Marie.

When the woman motioned her to came closer to the horse again to re-mount, Marie stopped and finally asked after at least something to drink.

Echo narrowed her eyes at the girl. In truth the child looked sickly already and she started to fear that she could die on the way to queen Nia’s camp, so Echo finally gave the girl some of her water.

Marie barely had time to take more than a couple of small sips before Echo took the flask from her again and simply hoisted her back onto the horse. She tried to bit back a groan, her legs felt as if they were developing sores from all the hours spend in a saddle.

She had absolutely no way of telling for how long they continued their quick ride after this short stop. It seemed as if the horse’s huffs had started to get scarce and Marie feared that it would simply drop dead.

When they finally stopped again Marie saw what looked like a fortress looming above them. But it was hard to tell as it had started to get dark again.

A warrior blocked their entrance and wanted to know in a sneer what Echo wanted.

Echo quickly said that she had a present for the queen and shiver ran down Marie’s frame at the tone of her voice. The man’s eyes widened slightly and they were granted entrance.

The woman pulled her along at the scruff of her coat and Marie tried to keep up without stumbling. She quickly lost all sense of orientation as the fortress was obviously much grander than it seemed from the outside. It was as cold within the walls as outside and there were barely any sources of light. But Echo seemed to be familiar with the turns and twists of the halls and pulled her along unrelentingly with fast strides.

Marie was so preoccupied with keeping her footing that she did only catch a short glance of the older woman who was sitting on what she could only describe as a throne, when Echo already forcefully pushed her to her knees.

“Echo” the other woman drawled in a tone which made the hairs at the back of Marie’s neck stand up.

“My queen” Echo immediately answered, bowing down deeply herself. She did not wait to let Nia get angry at her long absence and pushed Marie down totally, exposing the girl’s tattooed neck in the process “A present for you, my queen”.

Echo watched her queen’s features morph from clear disdain to obvious satisfaction in the blink of an eye when she recognized who the blonde girl was exactly.

“She has lost her memory” Echo quickly explained before the queen could say anything and a calculating cold glimmer appeared in her light brown eyes.

“Escort our guest to a room” Nia ordered instantly. Her mind was whirling with the possibilities the little girl could offer her.

One of the warriors standing around the room pulled the girl up from the floor, it was obvious she was weakened and exhausted, her grey eyes clouded and unfocused.

“Have you been followed?” she questioned the assassin. The woman had been part of the royal guard for years, but Nia urged to know what had kept her from returning for such a long time.

Echo shook her head “Anya will not have dared to follow. And even if she did, she would not have found my tracks quick enough”.

“And where have you been, Echo?” the queen asked, her voice a mixture of cold calmness and barely restrained impatience.

Echo visibly had to swallow under her queen’s intense stare. She kept her voice strong and unwavering as she retold how she had been overpowered by reapers and brought into the Mountain.

It was obvious that the queen was not satisfied with her explanation as to why she had afterwards stayed within the capitol for so many weeks. But she direly hoped that bringing the commander’s second to Nia would help propitiate her.

The queen dismissed her with the offer of a room, but Echo knew better than to decline. The offer was nothing more than a nicely formulated demand and she would certainly not be allowed to leave the queen’s castle before Nia had made up her mind.

Marie did not fight against the strong hands shoving her through the halls and she was internally grateful that the room into which she was brought was at least reasonably warm. She was even given something to drink and eat, she did not question the gifts and simply ate and drunk, before she gave into her exhaustion and fell asleep on the bed in the corner of the room.

She was roused from the bed again, when it felt that she had barely fallen asleep. Her sleep had been disturbed time and time again by images flashing up in her mind. Distorted images and voices, but she could neither see clearly, nor hear the voices, as if she was caught in a deep kind of mist.

Marie remembered that the woman who entered the room, had been called queen Nia by Echo and now she could take a real look of her.

The queen was middle aged woman with light brown hair. Scars had obviously been carved into her face with great care creating an angular pattern and a headpiece rested on her hair, hanging into her forehead. Marie guessed it was supposed to be a sort of crown, the woman was a queen after all so it made sense. She was dressed in dark leather and a heavy coat lined with light fur. Her light-coloured eyes somehow starkly stood out in her face and Marie barely managed to meet her gaze.

“Who are you, girl?” the queen asked Marie in a demanding tone.

“I…” Marie started “I do not remember” she finally answered honestly.

The queen’s eyes had narrowed dangerously when the girl paused with her answer and Marie gulped instinctively.

“What a pity” she drawled almost bored, before a calculating gleam appeared within her eyes “You are on my land now, girl, so you are one of my subjects now”.

“Yes…” Marie answered uneasily, feeling already that this was not a good thing.

The girl had barely closed her mouth again, before she was backhanded harshly.

With wide eyes she held a hand to her stinging cheek and looked at the queen in disbelief.

“You do not speak without permission, girl!” the queen’s reprimand was sharp and Marie immediately nodded still wide eyed.

“Your education starts now” she continued, standing up swiftly and pulling the girl along with a strength Marie had not suspected from her.

Marie internally wondered what education the woman might have in mind, but her cheek was still stinging from the last slap, so she kept her tongue.

But she learned quickly not to question what was demanded of her. Marie actually learned quickly not to question anything at all.

Apparently being a subject to the queen was both a great honour and a pledge of life. She rarely saw the queen in person, but she was handed over to the royal guard and “trained” by them.

Marie had hoped that the guards would be friendlier to her, but she recognized her error soon enough. No one was to be trusted in this fortress. Speaking up meant punishment. Making a wrong move meant punishment. Not performing to her best abilities meant punishment. Basically, everything resulted in one kind of punishment or the other.

On the first few nights, Marie had cried herself to sleep. But she was punished for crying as well. Crying meant expressing weakness and being weak was not tolerated at all.

Marie was told over and over again that the commander and all Trikru were the enemies and that they needed to be extinguished.

At the beginning of her stay she did not understand what that meant or why that was the case. But she soon realized that it was easier to simply accept what she was told.

She was being horded together with a bunch of other kids, some older and some younger. If she had thought to find friends among them, Marie was sourly mistaken. They were competitors if nothing else. Nothing was free here, not even food or a place to sleep. Whoever fought best in the training pits was fed and got a warm place to sleep, whoever did not, went hungry and some even had to sleep outside. Marie had already seen two younger children freeze overnight, when they had been forced to sleep in the yard.

Marie had great difficulties to compete with the others, she was physically weaker. In conclusion she had went hungry many times, for some reason she was always at least allowed to sleep inside.

What Marie would not have even thought about at all was that the other children were jealous of her, for being allowed to sleep in the warmth even though she had not fought for that right. Four boys and two girls attacked her for exactly that reason one night.

If it had not been for Echo hearing a struggle, Marie was sure she would have been killed by them.

The queen made Marie kill all of them, one by one. It was clear, that Marie had no other choice, or she would be killed along them. None of the other children ever approached her again and she had learned her lesson; never trust anyone.

She had cried the last time when Echo had cut off her long braids. Red bands had still been interwoven into them and Marie could not put a finger onto why, but she just knew that they had been important. Her hair was now just at shoulder length and Echo had impatiently taught her how to braid it away from her face efficiently.

 

Lexa found it harder to get used to the fact that Marie was gone than she had anticipated. She held her breath in meetings whenever the Azgeda ambassador spoke, afraid to hear signs of Marie’s death. She was even hesitating to enter her quarters at night. Although Lexa knew that no one should be able to enter them with the heightened security, but still, she almost expected Marie’s head to await her in her quarters.

While Marie had been with them, she had brought her closer together again to her former mentor, but now the void between them seemed larger than ever.

Anya was filled with a mixture of deep grieve, anger and a thirst for revenge. As the commander, Lexa even contemplated if it would be better to send the general away from Polis again, back to one of the smaller villages of Trikru. It was impossible to talk to her at the moment. The woman spent all the hours of the day exerting herself until complete exhaustion on the training pits. Lexa hoped that she would wake from this almost crazed grieve and return to her duty. She had not directly told the general of the messenger she had send into Azgeda lands, but Lexa doubted that the general had not heard about it by now.

She had seen to it that another general would oversee Clarke’s training from now on. But she was aware that she could not let Anya continue like she was doing for much longer.

Clarke had drawn a few pictures of Marie for both the commander and the general, but Lexa had insisted that all would remain within her quarters. The general would only destroy them in the current state of her mind. Lexa hoped that Anya would one day appreciate a picture of Marie to remember her by, but it would certainly take time.

 

The day Lexa had awaited with anticipation dawned like any other had since Marie had been gone. Clarke had taken up to sleeping within the commander’s quarters immediately and Lexa was grateful not to be alone in the hours of the night.

She had asked Titus to have the older nightbloods escorted to the throne room to sit in on the meeting with the ambassadors. The children had all reacted differently to the information that Marie would not be returning. Boo had taken it very hard and Nimo and Saria, who had been closest to Marie, had not taken the news well as well. Without Marie’s interference Ontari had quickly been turned back into the outcast among the novitiates, the others still trained with her, when they were ordered to do so, but none of them spoke a word with her.

Ontari did not really care if the other novitiates spoke to her, or not. She missed the blonde-haired girl stronger than she would have thought possible. Ontari tried to keep her eyes and ears open to find out if definite proof of Marie’s death had been found, a part of her just needed to believe that the girl was still alive somewhere. Marie was gone for a whole moon now and there had been no sign or message from queen Nia, Ontari had half expected to be summoned back to the queen, but nothing had reached her so far.

The meeting in itself was of no greater significance. But at the end of the meeting a rider from Azgeda was allowed inside under the guise of bringing the answer to Lexa’s messenger from the queen. Anya was not attending this meeting, she rarely attended any meetings anymore if she was not specifically ordered to do so.

Lexa felt her breath halt and her heart stutter when the rider strode into the throne room. It was obvious that the man did not expect to leave this room ever again. She ceased her brow in confusion when he did not pull a sack with a head from somewhere but laid down a shawl at her feet, bowing deeply in a mocking gesture.

“What is this?” she seethed angrily. Her temper had been shorter in the meetings since Marie’s disappearance and the ambassadors had been on their best behaviour to not incense the irate commander even further.

“The queen’s answer” was the only thing the man offered.

It was Titus who bent down and opened the shawl to reveal blonde braids of hair, still containing the red bands of the commander.

Lexa felt like a hole had been punched into her chest and she had to regain her breath, before she could order the man’s execution through clenched teeth and to dismiss all the ambassadors.

Ontari tried to linger behind. She knew how the queen operated and if hair was the only thing that was send, it surely meant that Marie was alive. She tried to explain exactly that to the commander, but she was thrown out of the throne room, before she could say anything.

The guards were in uproar and Ontari took the chance that offered. She left the tower without as much as a glance from the guards. It was easy to get hold of a horse again and she knew enough of queen Nia’s loyalists within the walls of Polis to be gifted supplies and sufficient clothing to reach the palace of the queen. She managed to slip out of the city, before her absence had been noticed.


	151. Chapter 151

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I predicted the next two chapters will be a lot darker for Marie. If you are upset by references or descriptions of torture, or implied sexual abuse, you should probably skip the chapters.
> 
> Previously in chapter 150  
> Marie is brought to queen Nia. Nia decides to keep her alive and mould her into an assassin able to kill the commander. Marie’s braids are sent to Polis and Ontari flees.

Chapter 151

Anya followed the summons to the commander’s quarters. She had evaded the rooms like the plague. Everything within the chambers now reminded her of the girl she had lost.

She took a deep breath and steeled her features, feeling the multiple superficial wounds she had acquired on the training pits sting as she straightened. Anya was unable to face her own thoughts and grieve, so she had found distraction and relieve in the physical exertion.

Lexa stood at a table in the chambers. She had gotten rid of the regalia of the commander. She would not mourn Marie as the commander, but solely as herself. She had given Anya enough space to grieve on her own over the last four weeks, but now that they had proof of the girl’s death, they could both find closure. She was awkwardly grateful to only have received Marie’s hair and not her head, being able to remember the girl like she had been alive. Her features not distorted by death.

Anya opened her mouth to ask why she had been summoned, but she faltered in her steps when she recognized what was lying on the table. Marie’s blonde hair in combination with the red bands interwoven into them was unique enough not to be mistaken.

She felt the anger that had been coursing through her veins without any pause, drain suddenly, leaving behind a hollow kind of calm and her voice sounded almost wooden “So, we finally know”.

Lexa nodded with a grave expression. There was no question in her mind now anymore, Marie was dead and would never return to them.

Anya stretched out her hand to take one of the braids, but let it fall back to her side, looking at a wall instead of at Lexa, clearly still unwilling to face her feelings.

Lexa took one of the braids and mutely pressed it into her mentor’s hands, their eyes connecting for long moments. She was relived that her general’s brown eyes were no longer filled with crazed rage and she shared the bone-deep grieve reflected in them. They had both held Maire within their hearts and shared the loss of the girl now.

“Clarke has made something for you” Lexa broke the silence with a heavy voice, she carefully eyed the older woman, hoping that the timing would be better now. She knew for a fact that Anya still carried Tris’ braid around.

Lexa unfolded a piece of parchment and showed it to Anya. She knew that she had made the right decision to give it to her former mentor now, when a melancholic smile ghosted around Anya’s lips.

Clarke had sketched Marie as she played on the icy surface of the frozen river, Risha jumping around her feet. The absolute joy was clear on the girl’s face and through Clarke’s great artistic talent it was as if Anya could just see the girl on the ice again and even hearing her giggles.

“She has made others” Lexa added after a moment, but Anya shook her head. It was obvious the woman did not wish to them at the moment and Lexa would not force her either.

“What do you plan to do about Azgeda?” Anya asked, once she had cautiously folded the parchment and stored it within her coat, together with one of the braids.

Lexa’s green eyes flashed angrily. The queen had not met her explicit order to hand Marie back over to them and by sending the girl’s blonde hair instead, she could finally do something against the older woman.

“Nia needs to be removed from the throne once and for all” the commander proclaimed, voice hard and cold “Azgeda have gambled away their place in my coalition”. She might not have been in the position to get revenge on Costia’s behalf, when she had been taken form her by the queen, but the circumstances had changed and Lexa would finally be able to get her revenge.

Anya’s features had turned as cold as Lexa’s voice and she nodded in agreement, a hard gleam within her brown eyes.

 

On the next morning Lexa had all of the ambassadors summoned to the throne room. She had donned on her full commander regalia, complemented by her war paint and Gustus and Anya both stood at her side.

The Azgeda ambassador had been held within his assigned quarters, where he would stay, until Lexa had decided on what his fate would be.

The other ambassadors seemed to be anxiously awaiting why they had been summoned.

“Queen Nia of Azgeda has chosen not to return my second to my side, against my explicit orders” Lexa started in a harsh tone “By doing so, the queen has made a direct attack against my second and in conclusion, me. The queen consequently abducted a future flamekeeper and has hidden a nightblood for years. Such actions will not be tolerated by anyone!” Her voice thundered over the ambassadors like a cracking whip. “All trade bargains with Ice Nation are void from now on and they will not be part of the coalition for another day. They will stand alone against our united forces. Queen Nia will be removed from her throne for all her transgressions against the laws of the coalition.”

They would need to plan to move their combined forces closer to the Ice Nation border. Once word reached the Ice Queen, she was sure to mobilize her forces as well.

So, they started to plan for another war.

 

Marie had no idea, how many weeks might have passed, since Echo had brought her to the Ice Queen. She had stopped to try to keep track of the days. In the beginning of her training, she had been so exhausted physically that she felt asleep almost instantly. The members of the royal guard filled every waking hour of the day with training. She knew that her training her advanced, she was quicker on her feet, quicker with her reflexes and she got less injuries during the training session.

The only time she had seen the queen again had been the time, when she had to kill the other children, who had attacker her. Her stomach still gave an uncomfortable lurch if she thought of that. So, Marie was nervous, when she was summoned in front of the throne again.  

The queen’s gaze was cold and calculating as she taxed Marie where she kneeled in front of the throne.

“You know why you are here?” Nia asked, looking down at the girl. The child had already changed visibly. She seemed to have lost weight, replaced by pure muscle and the soft features of her youthful face were beginning to sharpen. Her grey eyes, which had looked confused and lost on the day of her arrival, had turned suspicious and colder. The emotions were still too easy to read within their depths and Nia would take great pleasure in truly breaking the girl to her will.

The guards who had so far overseen the girl’s training had relayed to her, that she indeed possessed an inherit talent for fighting with two swords and throwing knifes. But her first instincts obviously still were not to attack and kill, but only to defend herself. That would need to be changed quickly.

“To do your bidding, my queen” Marie answered trying to keep any residual doubt still lingering in her mind to herself.

But something must have still shown, as the queen swept from her throne and viciously backhanded Marie only a second later.

“You are here to regain your purpose of life, Marie” Nia drawled in an almost sickly-sweet voice. It was the first time she had used the girl’s name and she would keep the occasions scarce as well.

Marie’s grey eyes snapped up to the woman widened in disbelieve but she still felt a very small sliver of hope, that this woman might be able to help her somehow. She had tried hard to remember something about her previous life and although there were little aspects she could see in her dreams, they did not make sense or actually were not clear enough to make sense.

Nia softly caressed the cheek, she had only moments ago slapped and the corners of her lips twitched slightly, when the girl leaned into the touch ever so softly. She had been clear on how she wanted her royal guard to treat the girl, she should have only been faced with violence. If her assumption about the girl’s soft spirit were correct, she would be hungering after gentleness and do almost anything to receive it.

When the queen pulled back again, Marie subconsciously tried to lean deeper into the touch. Nia straightened herself, looming over the girl, but she kept her voice soft “Everything will be alright. You are going to be moved into my rooms today. Away from the other children.”

Marie nodded with a cautious expression, surprise flashing over her features momentarily.

“They are jealous of you, Marie” Nia drawled “And do you know why?”

Marie slightly shook her head in the negative not daring to speak up.

“Because you are special” Nia concluded with a false smile “And they know that they are not worth my time and attention, but you are, Marie”.

Marie blinked in confusion at the woman. She did not understand why the queen seemed to have changed her opinion about her so starkly. She internally wondered if she might have truly been succeeding in her training. But she would not question small mercies now.

The queen held out her hand to the girl and Marie tentatively took it, with a very slight smile on her features.

Nia internally congratulated herself, she had the girl exactly where she wanted her. Breaking her would be almost too easy now. Another few weeks of a mixture of scarcely handed out gentleness and “lessons” with the excuse to make her stronger again and the girl would be nothing more than a willingness puppet.

 

Anya had organised a search through the whole tower and the walls of Polis and when she came back empty-handed, she reported to Lexa, that the Ice Nation nightblood had somehow slipped away. Curiously the girl had not killed anyone on her way, she had simply knocked out the boy working at the stables now.

Lexa took in the news in resigned silence. She knew that Ontari’s compliance had been caused greatly by the friendship developing with Marie, so it did not really surprise her much that the girl had opted to run away now. Internally she was just grateful that the Ice Nation nightblood had not tried to use the chance to finally eliminate some of the other novitiates who would be competing with her in the next conclave.

Titus urged her to send warriors behind the nightblood girl. She had officially been introduced as a novitiate, so it was well within her rights to do so, but Lexa declined. It would help no one in the end, if she forced the dark-haired girl back into Polis. She could only hope now, that Ontari would return to Polis after her death and not start another assassination attempt to end her reign.

Anya had only thinned her lips and snorted in disbelief. The general could understand Lexa’s train of thought, although she did not agree with it. She still shared Titus’ inclination to simply have the girl killed or at the very least brought back to Polis.

Lexa had spoken with Monty in his function of the Skykru ambassador the day before. Markus Kane had relayed his condolence for Marie’s death and wanted the commander to know that Skykru would stand with her in the case of a war breaking out. Skykru might not have much to offer when it came to warriors, but they had still not fulfilled their disarming completely and she had agreed that Skykru soldiers would be allowed to join her army with their own weapons, she would be stupid not to allow them and use their superiority.

Lexa and Anya had held an alternate funeral rite for Marie, burning her hair; both of them had of course kept a braid as a keepsake for themselves, but they had figuratively set the girl’s spirit free, they highly doubted they would ever get the chance to burn her body, so this would have to do.

The rite had brought them, what they both desperately needed, namely closure. Anya had accepted that the girl, she had regarded as her own, had been lost forever. She would probably forever regret leaving Marie on her own, but she knew that the past was unchangeable and she could not dwell on it forever.

Lexa had stored Marie’s braid and one of Clarke’s drawings of the girl within the box under her bed. Clarke had looked at her a silent question in her blue eyes as she did so, but she had accepted that Lexa did not wish to speak about the contents of the box. The commander had shed the last tears for Marie as she stored her keepsakes away and together with the physical reminder of the girl, she forcefully tried to push her from her mind. She needed to be strong for her people, if war broke out once again, she needed to be at her fullest strength.

 

Ontari rode through the first day and night without a stop, fearing that the commander would have already send someone to either force her back or to finally eliminate her. She did not know for sure how losing her beloved second would change the Trikru woman, she had seen the rage building in the general. Ontari knew that Lexa was not as driven by her emotions as her former mentor was, but both of them believed Marie to be lost forever. She just held onto the hope, that the queen had found some use for Marie and not yet killed her.

She doubted that her welcome would be a warm one though. She had failed her queen on every account and she was aware of that. Ontari hoped that the black blood running through her veins would be enough reason for the queen to keep her alive though. She knew that Nia still wished to subdue the other clans and there was no better option than to install a commander under her own control to rule over all others.

She was no stranger to pain and she could already picture what kind of welcome the queen would give her, Ontari’s only real hope was that she would see if Marie was alive quickly, she was prepared to play her part again. She knew of the methods the queen used to break and utilize people and she internally prayed that she was not too late to save Marie.

She had no real plan in action on how exactly she planned to rescue Marie, but she would see, what she could do once she reached the queen’s palace.

 

Marie groaned in pain, biting her lips harshly and trying to blink away the tears stinging in her eyes. Apparently, there was no greater sign of weakness for the queen than shedding tears.

“Oh, sweet child, you are going to become strong under my care” Nia caressed the girl’s cheek in the mocking version of a loving gesture. Her gaze was as cold as ice as she looked down at the half naked girl in front of her.

Marie had been forced to kneel in front of the wall for what felt like hours without end, whenever she started to sag just a little bit, a whip cracked down against her back, forcing her back into position. The muscles in her thighs almost screamed in protest and she doubted she would be able to keep that position for much longer.

This was not the first session of this sort since Marie had been moved into the queen’s chambers. The queen called them “lessons” which were needed to finally make her strong. In her time with the royal guard she had learned that she was not strong enough yet to compete with children her age and that seemed to be what the queen had in mind, or at least Marie reasoned that in her mind. From now on, she only ever saw the queen and no one else for days on end. She was not allowed to leave the chambers, apparently, she needed to be protected. She did not question the queen from what she needed protection in the first place.

Marie thought it must have been around a week later when the queen made her accompany her to the throne room for the first time. The queen wanted to show her, why the Trikru were the enemies and why she needed to be protected from them until she became strong.

Marie followed the queen obediently, her head held high. The queen had stressed to her that as soon as she stepped foot out of the chambers, she was to act strong. Show a proud and confident front, unmovable and cold. But within the quarters Marie was not allowed to look up or speak without being asked to do so. She had wondered why during the first days with the queen, but now Marie simply accepted that she needed the queen’s guidance.

A woman was kneeling in front of the throne, when they entered the throne room. Her hands were bound and the armour she wore was ripped and showed clear signs of physical torture on her body. Her hair was caked with dirt and blood and Marie absent-minded wondered what colour her hair had, it was completely unrecognizable in this state.

Although the woman’s eyes were swollen, it was obvious she had been beaten, Marie could see them widening when the woman noticed her. Marie straightened herself and mustered a glare for her. The queen had told her that she was a member of Trikru, a spy sent by the commander.

“We will send Lexa back your head to notify her, that you found your way into my castle” the queen drawled almost bored, calling the woman’s attention away from the girl. She knew that the woman could not speak anymore, her tongue had been removed on her orders, so it was impossible for her to tell Marie anything that might confuse her.

The woman’s gaze was resigned, she knew that she would not leave these halls alive again. She held her head high and proud when the queen stepped down her throne and cut her throat.

Marie did not even flinch when blood sprayed from the woman’s throat, splattering on her slightly, as the queen had motioned her closer.

“She was here to abduct you and bring you to the commander, Marie” the queen explained calmly, as if speaking to a much younger child.

Marie did not question, why the commander would do such a thing. The queen had told her, that the commander would try to seize her for herself, bringing her away from the queen. Nia had convinced her that she was the only one to truly care for her and that she would one day be required to kill the commander, so that they could forever be together.


	152. Chapter 152

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 151  
> Nia seemingly takes Marie in under the guise of caring for her. She tortures Marie physically and psychologically, making the girl believe that she loves her. Ontari is on her way to the queen. Lexa and Anya get the closure they need by burning Marie’s hair.

Chapter 152

It took Ontari nearly half a moon cycle to reach the queen’s fortress. A snow storm had surprised her on the way and forced her to seek shelter in a cave. She had been lucky that the horse had sustained the pace she had set and the horse was obedient enough to stay in the cave with her.

The guards at the entrance of the fortress recognized her at once and she was brought into the castle without any word.

On the way through the halls Ontari let her eyes wander over everyone, frantically searching for Marie among them, but she failed to locate the younger girl.

Marie was in the throne room again. A routine of sorts had been set for her by the queen. If the queen was pleased with her behaviour, she was allowed to accompany her out of her chambers and into the throne room. If she was not pleased, Marie was forced to stay within the queen’s chambers, chained to the walls in an uncomfortable position, which forced her into an unnatural position between sitting and standing, neither completely possible. The chains had already left deep lines within her fair skin. But last night the queen had been pleased enough with her, to allow her to sleep on a fur in front of the fireplace and to accompany her again.

She stood beside the throne, spine straight and expression stony and she waited in silence for the queen’s next orders.

When a dark-haired girl was led into the throne room, Marie inspected her suspiciously, she had long learned that every stranger could mean harm to her.

Ontari breathed an internal sigh of relieve at spotting Marie beside queen Nia. But the girl had changed almost completely and Ontari wondered why there was no reaction to her within the younger girl’s grey eyes. She was unable to focus too long on her missing reaction, when she was addressed by queen Nia.

It was obvious pretty quickly that the queen was disappointed greatly by her and she would feel her wrath soon enough.

Ontari knew she would survive and all she could think of was how to get a moment alone with Marie, away from prying eyes.

Marie marvelled over the way the older girl had looked at her. She had been searching for something within her expression. It seemed as if she should know her, judging by her reaction, but nothing ringed within her mind at the sight of the girl, not even the slightest feeling of recognition.

She watched on expressionless how the queen interrogated the older girl. She was oddly fascinated that the girl was bleeding black and not red, she had never seen such a thing before as far as she could remember.

She did not say a single word, when the queen ordered her to come with them back into her quarters. She felt a strange kind of jealousy that the older girl was also allowed into the queen’s rooms, she had thought it had been her privilege alone.

“Oh, my dumb, sweet girl” the queen commented, when she spotted the jealousy within Marie’s eyes “You are not the only one special to me. And you have not been as good as I had hoped…” her voice faded with disappointment and her fingers had barely touched the girl’s cheek.

Marie’s shoulders dropped, when the queen moved away from her. Her words and withdrawal from her hurting like the sting of a slap. “I will be better” she instantly reassured, dropping to her knees in front of the queen.

Ontari watched the younger girl with slightly widened eyes. What had happened to Marie? The girl had been gone for nearly two moons now from Polis, but that should not have been enough time to cause such a drastic change of character. It as if the girl was completely brain washed. She internally wondered if that was how she had looked like when she had been with the queen. After being in Polis for weeks and being confronted with a totally different way of thinking and getting to know the commander, Ontari easily now spotted Nia’s manipulation and they seemed to have already been successful within the younger girl.

“My queen, I was unable to succeed in killing Lexa and her … bunch of nightbloods” Ontari admitted. She already took off her shirt, she knew the drill well enough without being told what to do and it usually earned extra lashes, if Nia had to tell her what to do.

The lash fell onto her back harshly and Ontari held her breath. She had almost forgotten the stinging pain it left behind once the initial sensation faded.

The queen was called away quickly, dealing with a messenger send from the capitol.

Ontari had thought hard about what she wanted to say to Marie, once she found her, but even in her wildest fantasies, she had not forethought this scenario. So, she was lost for words now.

Even though Marie had obviously changed a great deal, a residual curiosity had obviously stayed within the girl. “You know me?” she asked, voice faltering and grey eyes glancing to the door every other second, obviously afraid the queen might return and hear them speaking.

Ontari nodded, relieved that the younger girl was willing to talk with her. “Yes, we have been friends” she reassured, keeping her expression as open as possible.

Marie looked at the older girl with probing eyes, desperately trying to remember her. Should she not remember her friends?

“Have I been here before?” Marie asked next, after a long pause. The queen had told her that she had been here for a long time and that Echo had rescued her before she could have been brought to the commander in the capitol.

Ontari shook her head “No, you have not…” she wanted to explain more. But she could not be sure if Marie would not immediately relay what she had said back to the queen and she could already hear footsteps in the hall, indicating that Nia was returning.

“Get into position” Ontari quickly rushed to tell the younger girl in a hushed tone.

Marie blinked a second and then followed the older girl’s example, kneeling in front of the wall together.

It seemed that only a second passed before the queen re-entered the chambers. The sneer on her face lessened slightly when she saw both girls already in the position she required from them.

 

Clarke came into the commander’s quarters after another long day. Lexa had changed because of Marie’s absence. She could see it in the way her whole frame seemed to be weighted down by the weight of her responsibility more. Her smiles had gotten scarcer, Marie had had a natural talent to bring out Lexa’s softer side, which the woman now tried to keep locked down tightly.

Clarke had spoken with Alira. The older handmaid seemed to be grateful that Clarke kept Lexa company, when the commander would not allow anyone else to do so.

It had become harder for Lexa to relax and completely let go of the commander within her. Clarke tried to be there for the woman when she managed to let go of the leader and simply be herself. She tried to reason with her, that even the great commander was allowed to grieve.

The preparations to move against Ice Nation was slow going. The snow had just started to melt in the lands of a few of the clans, making the movement of their forces slow and dangerous.

Starving Azgeda out would take months, before it took effect, so Lexa did not hurry her own forces yet. She knew that the people left behind needed to work more to make up for the loss of pure manpower, so she had allowed the clans enough time to cultivate their fields before they started to move. Some of the ambassadors would need weeks to reach their own lands, so it would take even longer for their warriors to reach the capitol.

She let her hand drift through the warm water the handmaidens had prepared for a bath, Lexa was supposed to return any moment now, but it seemed that her meeting was running late.

Clarke peeled slivers of scented soap into the warm water watching them dissolve and the air around her started to smell strongly of the lavender soap.

She heard Lexa’s footsteps in the halls before the doors were pulled open for the commander. Clarke went over to the main room of the commander’s quarters and slightly smiled at the other woman.

It took the commander a moment before her features lost their aloof coldness and warmth reinfused her green eyes.

Clarke immediately stepped closer to the brunette, a ritual they had become accustomed with during the last weeks. Clarke would wait until Lexa resurfaced in the commander, before she attempted to make physical contact. Lexa did not react too well to being touched in her function as a leader and she needed moments in private to let go of her mask. Her mask was firmly in place once she stepped foot out of her quarters, so Clarke understood and respected that she needed time once she returned after a long and tiring day. She knew that it must be exhausting for the other woman to hide her feelings at all times.

Clarke unbuckled the commander’s shoulder guard together with the red sash and carried both over to a chair, carefully placing both items on the chair. Lexa simply remained standing while Risha, who nowadays accompanied the woman everywhere she went, padded over to the fireplace and laid down.

Clarke returned to Lexa and started to open the commander’s thick cloak, bringing it over to the chair as well, while Lexa divested herself of her gloves and slipped out of her boots.

They spent their first minutes in private usually in silence and Lexa was grateful that Clarke did not need to fill every moment with senseless chatter.

She went into the bathroom on bare feet and while she dapped at her face with a washcloth, ridding it of the dark war paint and took off her head piece, Clarke started loosening her braids and carefully brushing out her dark curls.

Lexa smiled slightly at the bath. Clarke was already well aware of her indulgence and the blonde woman seemed to find it slightly amusing. But nevertheless, a bath was now always prepared for her before she even returned to her quarters.

Clarke did not always share the bath with her, but she stayed within the room, sketching on a piece of paper or simply conversing with Lexa about the little things.

They had gotten to know each other a lot better already. Clarke found it ironic that Lexa hated being confined indoors, but was forced to be exactly that.

Clarke had told the other woman a lot about her own past. Lexa was fascinated by the life she had had beyond the stars. Marie had already told her a lot about life on the Ark, but the young girl had been imprisoned early so Marie had not been able to tell her a lot of details.

Clarke had tried to describe to Lexa how she had liked to watch old football games together with Wells, Jaha and her farther. She had also explained to her why her father had been floated and how much she had loved the man.

“Join me” Lexa said, once she started to disrobe.

Clarke nodded with a gentle smile and undressed in what she hoped to be a seductive way.

No matter how often she saw the commander undress, Clarke was still struck by her incredible beauty. The grace with which the other woman carried herself was encompassing.

Lexa got into the tube first and Clarke settled herself against her chest, her long legs around Clarke’s hips.

They rarely spoke of politics with each other. Lexa still respected Clarke’s wishes not to be involved in politics and she tried to keep the little time they got together solely private.

Lexa was eternally grateful to have Clarke at her side now, she did not wish to think about the way she would faring now, if she were alone again.

 

Ontari had been correct with her assumption that the queen regarded her black blood more important than her obvious failure. Her back was torn open in many places, a testament to the fact of just how displeased the queen was with her. But Ontari knew that she would survive it.

Marie’s hands had shaken strongly when Nia handed her the whip. The queen had emphasised that Ontari had failed her and failure needed to be punished. Still something within her, told her, that this was not right. But she knew that she did not have a choice in the matter.

Ontari tried to get Marie to trust her again. She did not hold it against the girl that she had whipped her. Ontari was aware that she would have done the same in the past and without even thinking about it.

It seemed that Marie still had retained some sense of conscience. Ontari had tried once to tell Marie that she had been within Polis as the commander’s second, but as soon as Lexa’s name had fallen from her lips, the girl had interrupted her and snarled in a comment clearly put into her mouth by queen Nia.

She tried to convince the queen that they needed to return to the capitol before the commander could format her army and rally the other clans behind her. In truth she just wanted to remove Marie from Nia’s influence as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the queen was convinced that Marie had not been under her tutelage long enough. Ontari had no idea, if Marie could regain her memories someday, but the girl had a gentle soul and she would crumble under Nia.

What Ontari did not know, was the fact that the commander already had officially denounced Azgeda from the coalition. The queen had taken the news with deathly silence. She hoped that the Trikru woman would be dumb enough to lead her army into their lands and into the ice that never thawed.

Ontari tried to keep her eyes open on how she could escape with Marie. Whenever she was alone with the girl now, she tried to convince her that Nia would never get to the point where she thought that Marie would be able to fulfil her task, so that they needed to leave without being ordered to. She hoped that she could convince her on the way to Polis, that she in fact did not wish to kill the commander.

At the moment the queen had them under constant watch, so it was utterly impossible to slip away. The only positive thing was that the queen had them moved into a single room to sleep, so she now had the nights alone with the girl.

Ontari saw that Marie still suffered from nightmares, but the girl had learned to keep silent through them somehow. She would awake with a start and cower under her fur, biting her lip to keep still. Ontari moved over to the other girl’s bed and tried to sooth her. In the first nights it had startled Marie even more and the girl had moved away, shrinking into the wall afraid to be touched by her. But over the course of a few nights the child had started to accept her subtle touches. It began with a soft touch to the shoulder, progressed to an arm around her back and at the end Marie cuddled up to her completely, silent sobs shaking her body.

“I … I try … I try to be good” the girl cried, wetting Ontari’s shirt with her tears.

Ontari enveloped the girl, muting the sounds of her distress. She tried to reassure her, that she was good. With a pained flash she remembered, how she had desperately tried to gain the queen’s goodwill for years. She now knew that to be an utterly impossible feat, but she had been literally in the girl’s shoes.

She would be lying if she said, that the queen’s strikes had lost even a little bit of the pain they inflicted. But Ontari was better equipped to deal with it now, she knew, that she was only waiting for the right moment to flee.

Once the opportunity presented itself, she was convinced that Marie would come willingly with her. What happened when they reached Polis was a worry for another time.

 

The days turned into weeks and the weeks started to turn into moons. It was hard to keep track of time.

They were both subjected to more training by the members of the royal guard. Marie’s skill had advanced considerably and Ontari weirdly thought that commander and her general would surely be proud of her achievements once they saw her again.

The torture by the hands of the queen continued almost every day. Ontari tried to look after the girl as much as she could. She incensed the queen’s wrath on purpose more often than not, simply to shield the girl form the queen’s violence.

Even though Ontari could see more and more of the soft girl vanish, turned into a cold and suspicious version of the sweet child that had befriended her in the capitol, once they were alone in their small room, Ontari managed to coax a little bit of Marie’s old self, what she hoped to be her natural self, back to the surface.

Ontari was worried, when Marie did not return to their small room one night. She had asked the guards for an audience with the queen and had been denied. She anxiously waited for the girl to return, but there had been no sign of her during the night, Ontari had stayed awake all night to wait for her.

When Ontari saw Marie next it was obvious that something had changed. Something Ontari could not name at the exact second. But the girl was pale, deathly pale, she flinched at every slight movement of the queen and the little bit of gentleness within her eyes had vanished. When Marie truly looked at Ontari for the first moment, the nightblood felt her heart plummet into her stomach, the girl’s eyes looked completely empty. The queen had finally managed to break the girl’s spirit. Ontari did not know what exactly had transpired between the queen and Marie, for the girl to finally break and Marie never told her. Even when Ontari tried to coax it out of her, the girl had withdrawn completely, not saying another word for the whole night.

Marie did not come back for more nights and every time it happened, the girl would return more subdued and paler. But while her spirit seemed to be crumbling in privacy, within the throne room the girl looked like a vicious beast that just waited to be released. Marie did not hesitate or falter any longer, when she was tasked to torture or kill someone, she even seemed to start to enjoy inflicting pain on someone.

Marie’s body which had been free of almost all scars, had now started to be littered with scars. Parts of the tattoo, which had been so carefully crafted, had already been disfigured by scars resulting from harsh lashings after months of the same treatment.

Nia changed her mind, when their ambassadors head was delivered into her castle. Apparently, the commander was losing her patience with the queen. Whispers about the clans mobilizing their own forces with the intention of not attacking but closing off Azgeda’s borders had reached her, forcing the queen’s hand.

So, the queen had decided that it was finally time to send back Marie. She had already ordered her generals to raise their army, anticipating a war to break out as soon as the commander finally fell. Ontari would be send to accompany the girl with the intent of diminishing the nightblood children and take the legal position of the next commander.

Something about the way the queen saw them off and the attention she bestowed upon Marie felt off to Ontari and made her skin crawl with instinctive disgust. It was obvious that Marie felt similar, the girl’s features had turned slightly green and she was desperately trying to hide the sudden shaking of her fingers.

They had been given various weapons and two of the best horses from the queen’s personal stables. The journey back to the capitol would still take them several days and the queen would wait for a moon to start moving her army.

The only thing resonating through Marie’s mind, were the queen’s last words to her “Bring me Lexa’ head, my sweet girl and make me proud. Proof to me, that you are the special one.” And she would.


	153. Chapter 153

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> my updates may turn a little more infrequent.   
> I am suffering from some writing block and not feeling too well, which does not help at all. So, I make little to no progress writing =(
> 
> Previously in chapter 152  
> Ontari reaches the queen and finds Marie. She has to watch as Marie is broken by the queen. Clarke tries to help Lexa as much as she can. Marie and Ontari are send to the capitol to assassinate the commander.

Chapter 153

Ontari tried to use the time the travel to the capitol afforded to her, to try to get Marie to really talk to her. Since Nia had started to keep the girl overnight, Ontari had not managed to really get her to tell her anything anymore. It was, as if the child had closed off completely and the change worried Ontari greatly. She did not know for sure, what had caused the sudden change in the girl’s behaviour, but she knew that something serious must have happened.

But it was obvious fairly quickly into their journey, that Ontari was failing miserably. If anything, it seemed that with every attempt she made to get Marie to talk to her, even about insignificant things, the more silent and closed-off the girl got in reaction.

Ontari found it extremely hard to be confronted with Marie’s grey eyes, which had seemed to always hold a shine and twinkle and simply shown with life. Now they were dull and lifeless and Ontari had no idea on how to help the clearly suffering girl. She could only hope that the commander and general would be able to reach the girl in ways, she was not able to.

But it also worried her, what would transpire once they reached the capitol. The Ice Nation nightblood highly doubted, that she would get the warmest welcome. She doubted it would be as brutal and pain causing as the queen’s welcome had been. Nevertheless, she was aware that the commander would not be pleased with her leaving the capitol, which was explicitly against the rules of a novitiate, but she was willing and prepared to bear the consequences.

Marie looked away from the gaze of the older girl. She was constantly feeling Ontari’s eyes on herself since they had left the queen’s castle and it was granting on her nerves. She did not know, what to make of the older girl. She had actually found a little support in the nightblood. But the queen had convinced her, that relying on another person for support was weakness and only the queen herself would be reliable enough to truly always be there. Marie had been confused, when the queen had told her, that she should not be allowing Ontari to touch her in any form. But Nia had made it clearly that no one else was to touch what was hers. Marie on the one hand truly hoped to be hers and on the other hand she did not like the way the queen’s touches had changed in the last weeks. The way she had been touching her, made her stomach role and her insides clench in fright.

She shuddered even now at the memory and forcefully banned the pictures flashing in front of her eyes from her mind. Her eyes turned hard and cold as she met the older girl’s gaze. The queen had told her, that one day the nightblood would be commander and Marie would be installed as her second, a great honour obviously. And apparently a friendship between a commander and their second was frowned upon. So, Nia had insisted that she needed to keep her distance and she would do as she had been told, even if she did not understand everything. She believed that the queen only wanted what was best for her.

Their journey passed in almost complete silence. Whenever the older girl tried to address her with anything, beside ordering her to do something to set up the camp for the night, Marie ignored her, clenching her jaw and looking away. Something within her wished to simply tell her, what she wanted to know. Marie was aware that the nightblood seemed to desperately want to know about what the queen had done to her during her nightly stays within the queen’s chambers, but she could not tell her. She could not tell anyone, it was their secret. Something the queen said she only shared with her now.

It became obvious when they neared the boarders to Ice Nation. The land was beginning to thaw and Marie finally could see something green again, beside the snow that had surrounded her for the last week. She still remembered that she had woken in within a forest and the voice that had called for her to hide was still resonating through her dreams, but nothing else had come back and she had started to accept, that she would never know who she previously been. The queen had been steadfast in her opinion that it did not matter, who she had been, but that only who she had developed into mattered now.

Movements within the treeline caught her attention and Marie sharply pulled at the reigns of the horse, which had been a personal gift from the queen. Nia had told her that the white stallion was one of her own favourite mounts and that it was a great present of honour to be gifted such a precious horse.

Ontari had also caught up with the shadows moving through the trees and pulled her horse to a stop, her hands on the handle of her sword. Her brows creased slightly, as far as she knew the border between Ice Nation and Trikru had not been patrolled anymore. But she had not considered what reaction the commander might have had to receiving her seconds hair, before she left the capitol.

Warriors dropped out of the trees, dressed with the armour of Trikru and Ontari pulled her hands away from her sword, holding them upright in surrender. They were overpowered ten to two and she hoped that their welcome would be easier, if they did not fight back now.

Marie looked between the warriors and Ontari with slight confusion within her eyes. Ontari immediately shook her head at the girl, hoping to convey that she should not try to fight as well. After a moment’s hesitation, where the warriors already came closer, their own weapons drawn, Marie also held up her hands in surrender.

“What do you want on coalition’s lands?” one of the warriors addressed Ontari, identifying her as the older of the two girls.

Ontari’s confusion only grew. Had Azgeda been ousted from the coalition? If she thought about it, it was well within Lexa’s rights to demand such a thing, but she wondered why the queen had not told them about the change of status. They would have surely chosen a different travel route or tried to disguise themselves.

“I am here to escort her to Polis” Ontari called back, pointing to Marie.

Fortunately, one of the warriors had been stationed in TonDC previously and already seen the girl. The man’s eyes widened noticeably and he let his weapon sink down.

“It is the commander’s second…” the man said, disbelief colouring his voice strongly.

Marie looked at the man with a frown, but she did not show any other reaction. The queen had briefed her on the fact that people might react weirdly to her and say things which did not make any sense. She was to ignore them and only focus on her mission, nothing else mattered.

Another warrior stepped up closer to Ontari, still sitting on her horse. “You do not want to kill me” the girl said, before he even made a grab for his own weapon.

“And why is that so, Azgeda scum?” he sneered with a heated glare.

Ontari sighed under her breath. Trikru and Ice Nation had never liked each other, but she could only wonder how deep the hatred would run now between both clans and the other clans would probably not be too benevolent towards members of Azgeda as well anymore.

She pulled a small dagger from her thigh and quickly sliced her hand, holding up the bleeding appendage and broadcasting her dark blood to all of them.

The warrior let her weapon sink with a frown “The novitiate that ran from the capitol” was his sneered comment.

Ontari simply glared down at him “And now I wish to return to the capitol” she said to him in a harsh voice.

She was not surprised when three of the warriors were dispatched to accompany them into the capitol. Marie looked at the warriors with an unreadable expression and Ontari wondered what the queen had told the girl to keep her this silent. It was so unlike the curious young girl she herself had abducted from Polis. At this time, she had condemned the girl for her open nature and now she wished to find something of her again.

The ride turned even more silent from now on. Ontari internally debated if she should try to talk to the warrior who obviously had recognized Marie, but she rejected that idea almost immediately. All of them had reacted hatefully towards her and she highly doubted that any of them would be willing to listen to her or to believe in her word. She only hoped that Marie would not succeed in killing the commander at the first moment they faced each other.

Marie watched the three warriors who accompanied them in silence. The way they had reacted to the older girl only confirmed the queen’s words. There was a Trikru commander right now and the Trikru were obviously openly against anything to do with Ice Nation.

Although the nightblood had claimed that she had already been in the capitol, had apparently even lived there for a few months. But Marie did not feel any flash of recognition when they finally neared the walls of Polis.

The reactions of the people of Polis to her confused Marie greatly. She heard whispers of what a wonder it was, that she returned, or how much she had physically changed. While the people reacted openly bad about Ontari, they seemed to be happy to see her return.

Marie kept her gaze solely locked in front of her, her mind whirling with what felt like a thousand questions. With a flash of fear, Marie recognized that she would have almost preferred to stay at the queen’s side than being exposed to all this confusion. Why were the people looking at her like this?

Ontari watched Marie all the time they moved through the streets Polis in the direction of the tower. She was not deaf to the hateful comments of the citizens being hissed at her, but she ignored them. She felt a certain amount of relief when she saw Marie’s grey eyes flash with fascinated interest at the first sight of the tower, hoping that it meant that something of the child still remained within her.

At their arrival at the base of the tower, they were both ordered to surrender all of their weapons. Ontari complied willingly without hesitation, while Marie seemed to freeze for a second before she started to take her weapons of off her person.

The warrior who had previously already seen Marie in TonDC had been openly watching the girl during their complete journey and it was obvious that the man had gotten suspicious of the way the girl was acting. His dark eyes were watching the younger girl like a hawk and Ontari breathed a sigh of relieve when she heard him mutter to one of their companions that the girl was behaving off and that the commander should be warned beforehand.

Marie got nervous visibly when they were not led to the elevator like the queen had told her they would be, but instead led down the stairs to the dungeons.

Ontari did not even try to resist the warriors as they were nicely escorted into the narrow and dark halls of the dungeons. Marie did struggle against the hands of the man when Ontari was led into a separate small room and the man wanted her to follow him into another cell.

Ontari called back to the girl to cease her struggling and simply comply. It was obvious that Marie was deeply confused now that their immediate plan had not worked out.

She watched how Marie was led passed another turn and out of her sight and she sighed, she could only hope now that nothing would happen. She highly doubted that the commander would execute her, at least not if she was given a chance to explain why she had chosen to leave the capitol and to return.

She knew that whoever would come to see Marie would need to go passed her own cell and Ontari hoped that it would be the commander and not the general. The commander seemed more reasonable than the general to her and more likely to even listen to her words. She knew for a fact that Marie still had at least one, if not more, blades hidden beneath her clothes and if the commander just rushed into the girl’s cells Ontari was relatively sure that Marie would use one of those blades to try and kill the other woman. She knew just how deeply the queen’s manipulation now ran within the younger girl’s mind. Nia had been lucky that Marie had lost her memories and was even more susceptible to her manipulations.

Ontari waited almost anxiously for the sound of other footsteps, but she knew that it could take some time before someone would come to see Marie, she highly doubted that she would be of the highest priority. The warriors who had brought them down into the dungeons had long returned to the base level of the tower and it was likely that word was already being spread about the commander’s second’s return.

It seemed as if the minutes were ticking by awfully slowly, but it was entirely possible that the commander and her general had not even been within the vicinity of the tower.

Lexa had been in the middle of a meeting with the ambassadors when an urgent messenger was sent to her, proclaiming that her second had been brought back to Polis and was waiting within a holding cell to be seen. She had re-read the hastily scribbled message several times before the words settled into her mind, she had completely ignored the meeting as it proceeded around her.  

Anya and Gustus both watched the commander out of the corner of their eyes. Titus was directing the discussion between the ambassadors for the moment, when it became clear that Lexa had completely stopped to listen. The woman’s features seemed to have gotten paler and shock was evident within her green eyes.

Lexa abruptly stood from her throne, silencing Titus with the wave of her hand and her voice was tightly controlled as she hissed the commander for all the ambassadors to leave instantly. Her expression was fiery enough that no one dared to disregard the young leader and it took only short moments before the ambassadors left the throne room.

Lexa handed the letter over to Anya who looked at the younger woman questioningly. She was not as practised in reading as her former second was and it took her a moment to decipher the handwriting and she blinked down at the letter in utter disbelief.

“Who has brought this forward?” Lexa asked Titus pointing to the message still within Anya’s hands.

“A Trikru patrol who had been stationed near the Azgeda border” the flamekeeper instantly replied, but his features were slightly worried of what the message contained; it was obvious that whatever it was had a great impact on the commander.

“I want to see whoever has written this right now!” the commander’s voice was unyielding. Hope was blossoming within her chest, if it had indeed been a Trikru patrol it was likely that the written words were true. But how could they be? Nia had killed Marie, had she not?

Anya had re-read the letter in the mean time and while Titus stormed out of the throne room to collect the author of the message, the general clearly wanted to follow the flamekeeper and go down to the dungeons immediately.

Lexa halted the older woman before she could leave the throne room “Wait” she ordered “We will not go and see whoever was brought here, before we heard what the patrol can relay”. It was obvious that the commander did not believe that the girl within their dungeons was indeed Marie, she was forbidding herself to hope in such a foolish fashion. Lexa thought more in the way that it could be a trap, another girl similar enough in looks to deceive them.

Anya furrowed her brow, clearly not pleased with the order, but she nodded with a frown. She was torn between the wish to go down immediately see Marie and the fear that it would not be Marie but only a stranger to them. She impatiently tapped her foot the whole time as they waited for Titus to return with the patrol.

Gustus had been handed the letter by Anya as well and his dark eyes were staring at the piece of paper with disbelieve. All of them had been sure that Nia would immediately kill Marie once she was within her reach and there seemed to be no sensible reason for the Ice queen to keep the girl alive at all, so, what had changed or who had been disguised as Marie?

The warrior who had written the message had fortunately still waited at the base of the tower and Titus had had no problem in locating the man. He had half expected to be questioned about his message anyway.

Lexa looked at the young man standing opposite her a few minutes later, probing him with a piercing gaze “Why have you written this?” she asked in a clear voice, holding up his message.

The warrior inclined his head and explained that he might not have spoken to the girl in TonDC, but had seen enough of her to know that something was off. The subtle hints Ontari had tried to give them had finally tipped him off together with the lacking reaction of the girl to return to the tower.

Surprise flashed over the commander’s features at the mention of Ontari as the girl had not been part of the message and she had not expected the return of the nightblood. That she seemed to have arrived together with Marie, if the man’s words were to be believed, now was only more puzzling. She dismissed the young warrior with her thanks after the man had also told them to having seen the commander’s symbol tattooed on the girl’s neck.

“Maybe she was just frightened?” Anya hypothesized “Who knows what Nia has done to her…” the general’s voice had taken on an angry note as it trailed off.

“I will speak with Ontari first” Lexa proclaimed. She did believe the patrol’s words and her foreboding was telling her to be careful, her instincts had served her well before.

Anya nodded, she would accompany the younger woman and it was obvious that Gustus wished to do the same. Lexa send Titus to the novitiates, if the girls’ return was a trap from Nia, anything was possible from now on.

Lexa felt the thoughts whirl around in her mind frantically. She had come to terms with the fact their Marie had been lost and killed by Nia, hearing now that she was alive, was confusing everything she thought to know about the Ice queen.


	154. Chapter 154

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 153  
> Ontari and Marie travel back to Polis, they are intercepted by a patrol who warns the commander that something about Marie is off. They are brought into the dungeons and Lexa decides to speak to Ontari first.

Chapter 154

Ontari looked up from the bench she was sitting on and instantly stood up when she finally heard the resonating sounds of footsteps indicating that someone was moving through the halls of the dungeons. She had no idea of how long ago they had been brought into the dungeons, but the wait had seemed endless to her. She stood up quickly and strode over to the bars separating the cell from the hall. She judged that if she made a grab for the commander or the general, once they passed her, she could at least stop them to try to talk to them.

She was surprised when the commander, accompanied by her general and her bodyguard stopped in front of her cell. Ontari frowned slightly, had the commander already decided to execute her?

Ontari met the commander’s green eyes stare as calm as possible, she was thrown off slightly by the fact that the woman was not rushing to her second immediately.

“Why have you left Polis?” the commander asked.

There was nothing Ontari could read out of the other woman’s expression, even her voice gave nothing away. The general and her bodyguard were a different matter altogether, both stared at her in a clear mixture of distrust and anger.

“To search for Marie” Ontari answered honestly. It would be senseless to try to lie now and she hoped that being honest would at least slightly redeem herself in the eye of the commander. She had to recognize that the Trikru woman was a different kind of leader and a greater leader than queen Nia would ever be. While Nia reigned her people by fear and pure force, Lexa was loved by her people, which made them all more loyal and compliant. She had previously thought to thrive to become a leader like Nia had taught her to, but she had seen the errors within the queen’s mind and she knew there was still a lot she could learn from the current commander.

Lexa looked at the younger girl in question. She had not detected any dishonesty within her dark eyes, it was obvious that Ontari was purposefully keeping her expression open and easy to read, which told her that the younger nightblood wanted to be believed and she had also not detected any malice within her.

“Nia only had sent you Marie’s hair and nothing more” Ontari quickly explained “I know how she operates. And I have seen that before. She sometimes keeps those she regards as promising and you were just to believe that Marie is dead. I did not want to believe that she is…”

A conflict seemed to flash over the nightblood features and Lexa thought that she might have revealed more about her true feeling than she had wanted to. But she nodded with a cautious expression, Clarke had voiced exactly that thought very tentatively once as well before Lexa had convinced her that believing into such a thing was foolish and would only increase their grief into a prolonged time.

Anya had already turned from the nightblood and wanted to continue to see Marie, now that they had heard two times that it was indeed Marie, she needed to see the girl for herself.

Ontari quickly called out to her to wait and she held her head up and did not falter under her piercing glare and murderous expression.

Urgency was colouring her voice now “You need to know something before you go and see her” she said looking back and forth between the commander and general “She still has at least two blades hidden on her person and she is not the girl anymore which you knew”.

“Of course, she is not” Anya seethed through clenched teeth. She had already seen the effects torture could have on the mind of warriors and she hoped that Marie would recover. She hoped that the girl was still recognizable somewhat to them.

“I did not mean because of torture or at least not only” Ontari tried to explain. She had no idea how Marie had lost her memory before she was brought to Nia by Echo. “Marie has no memory of anything before she was brought to Nia” she added, her voice tainted with regret. She had tried to get the girl to remember things, but it had not helped.

Lexa’s green eyes widened and she did not wish to believe the girl’s words. She had already been confused why they should be wary of weapons Marie might have hidden. Anya’s features clearly showed her disbelief as well. “She lost her memory?” she questioned voice sounding distorted slightly.

Ontari nodded “She did not recognize me at all. She had no knowledge of having seen me before. Nia used that to her own advantage…” her voice trailed off again and she glanced away.

Lexa nodded, there was no reason for her to doubt the nightbloods words. She motioned a guard over “Bring her back into the room she occupied before” she ordered and turned back to Ontari “You are not going to try anything, are you?”

Ontari shook her head with a slight frown. She had not expected the commander to believe her words this easily, but she was relieved nevertheless. She wanted to remain within the capitol and she highly doubted that Nia would continue to rule over Azgeda for long. The streets of the capitol had already been filled with warriors of different clans, it was obvious that the coalition was preparing for a war against Ice Nation and even though she believed that the Azgeda army was strong, it would still not manage to siege against all clans combined. She had always believed to be raised with honour and had been shown that to be largely untrue. If she was to become commander, Ontari wished to have earned the title, the people would never respect her otherwise.

Lexa watched the nightblood girl being led away in silence. Her thoughts were running wild within her minds. If Marie had truly lost all collection of who she was and been brought to Nia in such a state, the girl must have been utterly defenceless against anything the queen wanted to make her believe. She knew of Marie’s inherit trust within people and the queen was not dim-witted, she would have known how to gain the girl’s trust and mould her into whatever pleased her.

Anya and Gustus both were obviously worried. It must have dawned on them why Ontari had tried to warn them in the first place. What Nia truly wished was for Lexa to fall, so that must have been Marie’s orders.

“She needs to be searched before anyone gets near her” Lexa gave word to what they all now knew. They would need to be cautious around Marie. Lexa even slightly feared being confronted with the girl now. All of them remembered the soft and gentle girl Marie had been and she would have been changed completely.

Clarke entered the halls of the dungeons in this very moment. She had heard of the location of the commander and why the woman was down here and she wanted to see if the rumours were true. She had shared Lexa’s grief and she would gladly share her joy as well.

Lexa looked at the blonde healer with a slightly downcast expression which immediately worried Clarke. She would have expected both women to be happy about the news that Marie was indeed not dead, which she had hoped all along.

Clarke listened to what the others had already learned with a frown “She has suffered from amnesia?” she questioned.

Anya sneered slightly “At least, Ontari claimed that” the general clearly did not wish to believe the girl’s words.

“Let me speak with her first” Clarke said “And I need to examine her, maybe there is an external cause for her memory loss or something I could do. We had some amnesia cases on the Ark.” Clarke did not tell them right away that most of those cases had never regained their memory, she doubted that it would be welcome right now.

“And if I am not directly recognizable as the commander?” Lexa mused thoughtfully. It would be the easiest way to find out if Marie truly had not recollection of her memories. Gustus’ expression clearly said that he was not pleased at all with that plan.

“Nia could have described you to her” Anya countered with a frown. She agreed with Lexa that it would certainly help to determine the girl’s situation but it was risky as well.

But Lexa had already made up her mind. She would join Clarke in almost the same disguise she had used before in TonDC. If Marie had memories of her time on earth, she would surely recognize Lexa at once. But if the girl did not recognize her at all and was proving to be dangerous to Clarke, Lexa could at least protect the blonde healer and prevent Marie from doing something she would later regret.

 

Marie waited anxiously in the silence of her cell. She had been no match in strength to the grown warrior that had dragged her along and she knew that she would need to use the hidden daggers to take out the commander and she would not get a chance to face her, if she killed a guard beforehand. Nia had been very clear that she would probably only have one go on assassinating the commander, so if she failed there would be no second chances.

She looked up when she finally heard someone walking through the hall. The other cells in this part of the dungeons were completely empty, so it must be someone approaching. Would it be the commander?

She had no idea who the two women were which neared her cell.

“You need to undress” a brunette young woman ordered.

Marie stared at her in silence. Something about the woman rang something within her mind, she could have sworn to have seen those eyes already and to have heard the voice as well.

“You need to undress” the brunette repeated “So that the healer can take a look at you…” she reasoned and when Marie still hesitated she added “…before you can meet the commander”.

Marie continued to scrutinize the brunette woman for a moment, but she did begin to undress. With a sinking heart she noticed a fresh pile of clothes within the woman’s arms. Marie knew that she would be able to undress and redress without the blades being detected, but she would not be able to transfer them to other clothes. She had believed into the queen’s predictions of what would happen once they entered the capitol and the tower, but now nothing was as she has told her and Marie did not know what to do now.

The brunette woman was still watching her and Marie kept her attention on her as well. The woman was of average size and had long brunette hair, which was partly covered by a shawl. Her clothes were simple and that of a handmaid. Her voice had sounded soft and Marie was captivated by her green eyes. She itched to ask her if they had already met, but she refrained when she noticed the blonde healer stepping into the cell behind the brunette.

Marie had finally undressed after long moments and Clarke had to bite her lips against the sting of tears in her eyes, Lexa did not seem to fare much better.

Marie’s face and body had changed drastically. The girl seemed to have grown a bit, but she must have lost some weight. She seemed to consist mostly of a few very well-defined muscles and still looked famished slightly. Her face had lost its roundness and her features had become sharp. The girl’s grey eyes had lost their shine and looked dull, the only things which were easily detectable were anger, distrust and fear. The girl seemed to be nothing more than a shadow of her former self.

Lexa gasped aloud when Clarke asked Marie to let her inspect her backside. The tattoo which had so carefully and artfully been sketched into the girl’s skin was disfigured by a thick layer of scars in various places on her back and she could almost count all of her vertebras through her skin.

But there were not just scars on the girl’s back, her thighs were littered by scars and even her chest now clearly showed scarring. Lexa itched to envelop the girl within her arms and shield her from the pain.

Clarke looked at the girl’s body in utter silence, but the horror was clear within her blue eyes.

Lexa busied herself with pouring a cup of water for the girl. She needed to do something else. She felt the pressing need to gather her forces and immediately march against the Ice queen and she doubted Anya would react any differently.

She felt Marie’s gaze follow her the whole time and Lexa felt hope grow slightly that Marie still remembered at least a little. The girl had not presented herself as an immediate threat, but that would certainly change if she identified herself. The way Marie carried herself now reminded Lexa a lot of the first few meetings with Ontari. Both of them had showed stoicism and strength. The way Marie now jutted out her chin defiantly under their probing gazes almost the exact same as well. But Lexa was sure that Marie’s calm and angry façade would fade soon, it was obvious already that the girl was rattled.

Lexa hoped almost desperately that there would be a way for Marie to regain her memories. They gone through so many extremes already with the girl, that it would be impossible to rebuilt their relationship just like that. Marie seemed totally changed, so there was no way of telling, if the girl would even reconnect with her and Anya without her previous experiences at all.

There was not much Clarke could actually do right now for Marie, most of her wounds had already scarred over and only a few remained tender and still healing, which could benefit from a poultice to be applied to them and to quicken the healing and lessen the scarring. Clarke tried to hold her hands as stable and calm as possible as she applied the substance to Marie’s back. The girl was shaking beneath her fingers and it was obvious that being touched was nothing she enjoyed any longer, little flinches were tried to be reigned in with a clenched jaw and Marie had closed her eyes tightly as well now, standing with her hands fisted together.

Marie did flinch visibly when Clarke touched her forehead to feel for a fever, but her grey eyes were still hard and glittering angrily back at the blonde healer.

Lexa offered the cup with water to the girl mutely and Marie seemed to look at the water for long moments before she cautiously took the cup from her hands, carefully avoiding their fingers to touch even slightly.

“Can I dress again?” Marie finally asked, or rather sneered. It was obvious how uncomfortable being naked in front of the two women was to the girl.

Clarke nodded, but she handed over the pile of fresh clothes, while Lexa already had bent down and retrieved the clothes in which Marie had been dressed before.

Marie’s grey eyes were hefted onto the old clothes and she bit her lips, but she took the offered pile after another moment of hesitation, again carefully avoiding any physical contact with Clarke’s fingers.

Marie breathed a sigh of relieve at being dressed again. Being naked meant being vulnerable. She shuddered visibly as she remembered, how the queen had ordered her to strip as well, she had not liked being naked in front of her, exposed to her probing steely eyes.

Lexa motioned Clarke over to the door. She wanted to leave the cell again, seeing Marie physically and knowing that they had not truly gotten the girl back, was unsettling and she needed to think about how to proceed.

Marie’s gaze followed the brunette woman the whole way and she still could not quite shake the feeling from her mind, that she had already seen this woman before. She would have liked to ask her, if they had known each other, but they had not asked her any questions and she would have given away the fact, that she was lacking her memories by asking, something the queen had explicitly told her not to do.

So, Marie kept her lips sealed together and only watched the brunette leave in silence. She did not understand in the slightest, why she suddenly felt a flash of loneliness and sadness.

Lexa did not say a single word as she preceded Clarke through the halls of the dungeons. Gustus and Anya were both impatiently waiting for their return.

The commander had been sure to have kept her emotions in check, but when Clarke placed a supportive hand on her back, offering her silent compassion, she knew that her features had not been as tightly controlled as she thought.

“She did not recognize me” Lexa voiced in a frustrated sigh, which had already been obvious to her general and Gustus without the need for actual words.

Gustus’ face clearly broadcasted his own sadness at the actual prove of which they had been told.

Anya gnashed her teeth together and her shoulders were hunched slightly. Her brown eyes were hard, although her voice still shook noticeably “I still need to see her”.

It was obvious that the older woman expected Lexa to deny her, but the commander only nodded, as she had anticipated that already. They had removed all weapons from Marie, so there would not be much the girl could do anyway.

Anya quickly strode through the halls, the heels of her boots clicking loudly against the floor and broadcasting her arrival to Marie long before she could actually see anyone approaching.

Marie looked up sharply, when she heard someone returning to her cell. She had no idea what would be happening now and not knowing made her anxious. The queen had laid out her plan of action so carefully and without it, she felt confused and helpless.

Something seemed to quiet within her mind, when her grey eyes connected with the brown ones of the woman, who now stood in front of the bars. Marie creased her brow in confusion, she had felt the same, only slightly lesser, with the brunette, who had been here before with the healer. Could it be possible that she truly did know both of them? She could have screamed out of frustration with herself, she had tried so hard already to try to force her mind to remember, but nothing had worked. Feeling this strange sort of echo within her mind, frustrated Marie even more.

Anya stood facing Marie in shocked silence. She had expected for the girl to look different, but looking at her now, was like a punch to her stomach. The girl looked like a total stranger now.

They stared at each other for long silent moments. Suddenly the order to “hide” resonated back through Marie’s mind.

Marie frowned “You ordered me to hide…?” she voiced her turmoiled thoughts tentatively.

Anya’s eyes widened at the girl’s words, which had been barely loud enough to understand. “I did” she agreed cautiously. Hope was already taking root within her mind. It was obvious that Marie was not remembering everything, but was it not a good thing, that she seemed to remember her somehow?

Hearing the woman’s voice again made other little snippets flash up within her mind and Marie closed her eyes against the onslaught, gasping for breath, as memories flooded her mind.

“Anya…?” Marie echoed with a strongly shaking voice.

Anya looked alarmed at the girl. She had gone pale all of a sudden and seemed to be swaying on her feet. The general barely managed to pry the door open and catch the girl as she lost consciousness before she could fall to the floor.

Anya enveloped the girl within her arms, running her hands over her hair and squeezing her slightly, as her eyes filled with sudden tears. Her heart was beating faster and she felt relieve course through her veins. Marie was alive and she was starting to remember.


	155. Chapter 155

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 154  
> Lexa speaks with Ontari and the nightblood confirms that Marie has lost her memory and is still armed. Lexa and Clarke speak to Marie without revealing who they are and Marie does not recognize them. When Anya visits Marie, her memories start coming back.

Chapter 155

Lexa had left the dungeons, closely followed by Clarke and Gustus, as soon as Anya had been out of sight.

The commander tasked different warriors with summoning Titus back to the throne room, bringing Ontari there as well and increasing the guard around the novitiates. They needed to deal with the repercussions of what had transpired immediately, rumours would already be spreading widely through the capitol, undoubtedly many people would have recognized Marie and Ontari.

Ice Nation had officially been denounced from the coalition which put Ontari’s status as a novitiate into doubt. Should a nightblood from a hostile clan be allowed to participate in the next conclave and potentially rise as the next commander? Decisions needed to be made together with the flamekeeper or Lexa would at least be willing to listen to his opinion on the matter before she made the decision.

She doubted that Nia would have send more assassins simultaneously, the queen seemed to be running out of options and ideas. She was probably getting desperate. The closed trade routes would be affecting the general population already, something Lexa had detested to order, but she knew that it needed to be done. Nevertheless, she would not take any chances with the wellbeing of her novitiates and increasing the security was simply a preventive move.

Her mind was invaded by flashes of Marie’s scarred back and the emptiness of her grey eyes and Lexa forcefully had to focus herself on the matters at hand. There was nothing she could do to help the girl anyway at the moment. Her thoughts halted, was there even anything to be done to aid the girl in her recovery? She did not know people personally who had lost their memory. Lexa turned to Clarke, as they walked towards the throne room. Silence had hung between them as all three of them were lost to their own thoughts.

“Is it possible for Marie to regain her memories?” Lexa asked the blonde healer with a slight hopeful gleam to her green eyes. Her heart sank slightly at the expression on the other woman’s face.

Clarke frowned and she chose her words carefully “I do not know, Lexa. I know of patients my mum treated with memory loss, but they regained their memories after a very short amount of time. Usually only a few days. But it has been months now…” The blonde’s voice trailed off helplessly “…I guess it is unlikely. But she was brought back into an environment which will offer triggers to her. So, maybe. I will try to get in touch with my mum and asks for her opinion. Maybe she can even come here and take a look at Marie” Clarke offered at last with an encouraging smile. The blonde did not want to give up hope already. Marie had recovered from worse before, so with this particular child anything could be possible.

Gustus listened to Clarke’s explanation carefully. He desperately hoped that the girl would recover. He knew how important the child was to Lexa and Anya, he himself had been had mourned her loss greatly. The girl’s chirpiness, as annoying as he had found it in the beginning, had made her absence ring ever so silent.

Lexa nodded with a disheartened sigh. She had no idea if Clarke’s mother could even offer any assistance at all and she did not like the woman’s company, so inviting her into the capitol was nothing she desired, but even the off chance that the doctor might be able to help Marie was enough to outweigh her own annoyance.

“I will try to get into contact with her right away” Clarke offered, putting her hand on Lexa’s upper arm and squeezing gently.

Gustus averted his eyes in courtesy at the intimate gesture. He had already known that both women had begun to care for each other deeply. He was grateful for the blonde woman’s company, it had held Lexa upright and able to fulfil her duties, while Anya had given into her grieve stricken rage.

The commander nodded mutely and watched Clarke leave in silence. The blonde’s presence would not be needed for the discussion that needed to take place now.

Ontari had already been brought into the throne room, when Lexa swept inside, closely followed by Gustus.

The commander thought to spot genuine relieve minutely wash over the nightbloods face at her arrival and she internally wondered what had been the cause of the relieve, she would have expected the girl to be disappointed that she had not been at least wounded.

Lexa sat down on her throne, crossing her legs over each other casually, and stared down at the dark-haired girl probingly, with a raised brow she remarked “You seem relieved”.

Ontari nodded mutely and when silence stretched between them, with Lexa still looking at the girl questioningly, she added “Marie would have lost her head, if she had managed to assassinate you. Even if she survived, she would not be able to live with herself, when she remembers”.

Lexa’s eyebrow rose even higher at her words. It had been apparent already that Ontari genuinely cared for Marie, but the connection must be strong for such a sentiment. “Did you know that Azgeda is no longer part of the coalition?” she asked after a heavy moment of silence.

Ontari seemed to take a deep breath before she answered. “Not before we crossed the border to Trikru lands” she admitted “I would still have brought her back regardless if I had known or not.”

“You are aware of how precarious your status as a novitiate is right now?” Lexa inquired, voice low and cutting.

Ontari gulped visibly before she straightened herself and nodded mutely, jutting her chin out slightly. She had spoken true before, she would still bring Marie back to Polis, even if she would now suffer the consequences.

Titus’ arrival in the throne room stopped Lexa from saying anything else. The flamekeeper frowned at the commander, who had not changed back into the clothes signifying her status. The man’s dark eyes narrowed at the nightblood girl in clear distrust, before Lexa called his attention.

“It is indeed Marie, who had been brought into the dungeons” she confirmed to her former teacher “But she has no memory any longer”.

The man’s eyes widened at the implication of her words.

Lexa addressed Ontari again “What has Nia ordered Marie to do specifically?”

Ontari raised a brow as if to ask if the question was meant seriously and her tone was almost bored as she answered “Assassinate you, what else?”

Titus’ angry gaze returned to the nightblood for her impertinence.

“Has Marie told you what she does remember?” Lexa asked, ignoring both the girl’s cheek and Titus’ reaction to it.

Ontari sighed slightly “She remembered waking up with a bleeding wound, feeling nauseous. She stumbled through the woods. She said that she heard a voice repeating the order to hide. Apparently, she has heard the general calling out to her, but did not recognize her own name and hide from her. Her memories are hazy before Echo found her and brought her to the queen”.

Lexa clenched her jaw, but nodded in silence. Anya would probably not fare so well, when she heard that Marie had in fact truly tried to hide from her. She could only try to image how afraid the child must have been in her confused state. “And how did the queen convince Marie to assassinate me?” Lexa asked. Even without her memories assassinating someone sounded completely alienated for Marie.

Ontari sneered slightly “The queen can be very…” she searched for words for a moment “…convincing. And Marie was so confused, she would have believed anything. You have seen the signs left behind by the queen’s “care””.

Lexa nodded with a sudden lump lodged within her throat.

“I had tried to convince Marie of a truth beyond the queen’s words” Ontari continued, without being prompted to “But she had been under the queen’s influence for too long already. I thought I had gotten her trust, when the …” she broke off abruptly.

Lexa narrowed her eyes slightly at the nightblood. It was uncharacteristic of the girl to offer information without being asked like that, so whatever she wanted to tell them, must weigh heavily on her. She silenced Titus with a quick gesture, mutely waiting for Ontari to gather her thoughts. The inner turmoil was apparent on Ontari’s face and her dark eyes clearly showed regret and even a hint of horror at what she had witnessed.

“The queen suddenly kept on keeping Marie in her quarters overnight, on her own” the girl’s voice suddenly had a far-away quality to it and her eyes were solely fixed on Lexa “She had handled the torture better than I would have expected. But something changed after the nights. She lost her light…She became silent and jittery. She did not want to be touched at all anymore. She seemed both deathly afraid and dependent of the queen’s attention…I needed to get her away…” as her voice trailed off, her dark eyes looked suspiciously moist.

Lexa felt bile rise in her throat as she processed the nightblood’s words. Silence fell between them momentarily and even Titus looked slightly shocked.

The commander regarded the nightblood in silence. It was obvious how upsetting the whole ordeal had been for her and Lexa believed in her honesty that she simply had wished to remove Marie from the queen’s influence. It was rather surprising to her what a great impact the girls’ friendship had obviously made on Ontari. She doubted that the Ice Nation nightblood would have been susceptible at all to the differences between herself as the commander and what Nia had made her out to be without Marie.

Lexa was internally grateful that the nightblood had been there with Marie, when none of them could have been. She hoped that Ontari had at least slightly helped their second, it was obvious she had tried. Who knew if Nia would have ever sent Marie from her side otherwise? Lexa was internally torn between the need to scream at the injustice at what had been done to Marie, to cry at the fact hat Anya and her had been unable to protect the sweet and kind girl and the burning desire to see justices carried out on Marie’s behalf.

Titus had been silent for a few moments, while Lexa was lost in thought and Ontari tried to pull herself back together, banning all the memories from her mind and steeling herself again. The nightblood’s face was closed off, when Titus spoke and broke the silence.

“Heda, we cannot allow an Ice Nation nightblood the possibility to become commander” the flamekeeper addressed Lexa. There seemed to be a subtle hint of regret and hesitancy within the man’s voice.

Lexa stared her former teacher down at his audacity to include himself in his words, it would be her who made a decision and not him. It was obvious the man was subtly trying to press her to execute the Ice Nation nightblood. One glance at Ontari’s proud gaze, barely hiding the resignation, was enough for Lexa to recognize that the girl had at least expected this outcome at a possibility and she had still been willing to come to Polis and warn them of Marie’s orders from the queen.

Lexa thought for a few moments in silence of alternatives to just execute Ontari, something she was trying to work around. She did not look at Titus but solely at the nightblood, when she spoke again “The flamekeeper has a valid point” she said calmly and Ontari seemed to pale the slightest bit, her dark eyes widening. “However, I do not wish to execute you” Lexa continued and silenced Titus with a gesture when the man made to speak again. “You brought Marie back to me and Anya, not regarding the consequences your return would be having for yourself or rather accepting them for her good” Lexa’s voice was tinted with gratefulness and Ontari subtly inclined her head in agreement. “You have not yet been introduced completely as a novitiate” she explained and realization dawned on Titus’ face, while Ontari simply looked confused. “A novitiate usually swears fealty to the current commander, swearing not to harm their life” Lexa explained calmly, watching the nightblood carefully “I have not let you pledge yourself to me with honour yet, because I would not have believed in your word before…”

“So, I would have still been able to participate in the conclave, if I had killed you myself?” Ontari asked, interrupting the commander with a frown.

Lexa’s lips thinned visibly but she nodded in silent confirmation.

“And you would accept a pledge of me now?” Ontari’s voice showed her confusion and surprise at the possibility.

Lexa nodded again mutely, prompting a contradicting snort from Titus.

Ontari seemed to think of her options for a moment, before she nodded. Her head was swimming slightly with the new information. She had truly not been aware of the fact that she could have assassinate Lexa and take her place legally. A small voice within her mind interjected that she did not wish to do so anymore anyway.

“Titus will instruct you on the specifics” Lexa accepted the girl’s nod as silent approval. The flamekeeper visibly clenched his jaw, but he inclined his head, he knew better than to try to change her mind right now. “You will need to pledge yourself to me in front of the ambassadors of the clans” the commander added and after Ontari nodded again, she motioned Titus to escort Ontari back to her room and begin instructing her right away.

 

Clarke had just finished talking with her mother briefly using one of their radios, when she heard footsteps in the hall in front of the commander’s quarters. She had expected Lexa’s return, but when the footsteps stopped, she stood from the commander’s bed and looked out into the halls. Her brows scrunched up slightly when she noticed Anya carrying Marie into her own quarters.

“Has she tried to attack you?” Clarke hurried over to the older woman and worriedly scanned Marie’s face for the signs of new wounds.

Anya shook her head with a frown and a deadly glare directed at the blonde healer. She would have been able to protect herself from an attack from Marie, without seriously hurting the child.

Clarke opened the doors to Anya’s quarters and followed the general inside, as she laid Marie on the single remaining bed, carefully pulling furs over her body to keep her warm.

“What happened then?” Clarke wanted to know impatiently. Her mother had agreed to come to Polis and try to figure out a way to help Marie, but she would need until the next day. It was starting to turn dark and they did not wish to use the rover at night. Marie was not in the danger of dying, so Clarke had agreed that waiting for the next morning was the best course of action.

Anya gently stroked over Marie’s blonde hair, which was considerably shorter and kept on falling into her sleeping features. “She remembered my name” Anya said, awe obvious within the slight shaking of her voice.

Clarke’s blue eyes widened slightly “She did?” she automatically asked. She knew that it would be a good sign, if the girl started to remember some things. It was unlikely for her to remember everything at once, it might take Marie several weeks or months to regain her full memory, if she ever did that was. Abby had not sounded too hopeful of the chances of Marie’s recovery over the radio, but if her memories were already starting to return, that would probably change the whole perspective.

“She must have passed out from sensory overload then” Clarke mused under her breath.

The general looked at the healer with a frown, she had not understood at all what the younger woman meant with her mumbling.

“Sorry” Clarke said and explained quickly “I assume that some memories must have come back to her at once. Her mind was probably not able to cope with that, so it shut down instead as a way to deal with it.”

Anya nodded sharply, obviously unwilling to tear her eyes from Marie’s face for longer than a few seconds.

“I am assuming, you plan to stay with her until she wakes?” Clarke checked without any judgement in her voice.

Another nod from the older woman was her only answer and Clarke left Anya with a tentative squeeze to the woman’s shoulder. Anya looked up sharply at the unexpected touch but did not say anything before Clarke swept from the room.

Anya listened to her retreating footsteps in tense silence. She barely allowed herself to blink. She had not yet truly understood or accepted that Marie was truly not dead and the irrational fear had taken root in her mind, that the girl could be gone if she closed her eyes. As if Marie’s presence was simply a vicious trick of her mind.

She was oddly grateful that the girl’s face was still free of scars. Marie’s face looked sharper, as if her cheeks had sunken and the bones stood out more starkly under her skin. Anya hoped that she would recover after a few weeks of more nourishing food, the girl’s whole body had felt frail and thin, although her muscles had clearly increased.

When she stroked over Marie’s blonde hair again, Anya frowned slightly, even the child’s hair felt not smooth anymore.

She took a step back from the bed and sat down on a chair next to it. Anya carefully took one of the girl’s hands within her own, she simply needed to keep contact with her at the moment. She hoped that it would calm Marie, once she woke as well. The girl’s fingers were now clearly roughened by callouses and little scars which had not yet formed before they had set out to hunt.

“I will not fail you again, _my little star_ ” Anya promised Marie into the silence of the room and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze.


	156. Chapter 156

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 155  
> Clarke has to tell Lexa that it is unlikely for Marie to regain her memory, but she will ask her mother for help. Lexa speaks with Ontari about what happened to Marie and the nightblood will pledge herself to Lexa as the commander. Anya brings Marie into her room and remains by her side.

Chapter 156

Lexa sat on her throne, feeling more tired than ever. Titus had escorted Ontari out of the throne room, just as she had instructed and Gustus had followed her plea to be left alone.

She had never felt this small while sitting on her throne, she had face covered by her hands, a sigh on her lips and her thoughts going wild in her head. Lexa still felt bile burning in her throat, but she felt too exhausted to move even an inch.

She would be the one to kill Nia with her own bare hands for what she had done to their second. Marie had still been such an utterly innocent and pure girl and Lexa direly hoped that the child would be strong enough to cope with what had happened to her.

Goosebumps raised on her arms as she imagined how Marie must have felt without anyone by her side to truly help her. She clenched her jaw at the realization that although the girl may have physically been returned to them, as long as she did not remember who they had been to her previously, she would not be able to be there for her.

The commander had been slightly surprised that Titus had not brought up the fact that Marie could very well still be a danger to her and should not be allowed to remain within the walls of the tower in her current state. Lexa wished to be by the girl’s side but that would be next to impossible if Marie truly would try to kill her if she recognized her as the commander.

Lexa straightened up in her throne, trying to pull forth the strength of the commander from within herself, when she heard someone approaching the throne room. She had asked Gustus for a few moments of solitude but she quickly recognized the footfalls to belong to Clarke and smiled slightly when the blonde simply demanded to be let inside.

She could hear Gustus grumble in annoyance, but even the burly man already knew that Clarke would not be denied anything and let her pass without much of an argument.

Clarke noticed immediately how strained Lexa’s smile was and a deep sadness seemed to linger in her green eyes. “Anya said that Marie remembered her name, Lexa” the blonde addressed the commander in a soft tone, trying to lighten her obviously heavy mood.

Lexa looked up at Clarke with a slightly surprised expression, but she felt relieve course through her mind. “How much does she remember?” she asked quickly, a part of her wished desperately for Marie to remember herself as well.

Clarke shook her head “I do not know. Marie is asleep. Anya said that she lost consciousness directly after remembering her name. Her brain must have been overflooded with memories, I guess. My mother will make her way to Polis tomorrow, I hope that she will know more.”

Lexa nodded and a lump formed in the back of her throat again, the words nearly stuck in her throat as she recalled what Ontari had just told them.

Clarke had paled visibly and her blue eyes were widened with horror “How can someone hurt a little girl like this?” the healer’s voice shook strongly and wavered.

Lexa shook her head, lips thinning in sudden anger and following an impulse, she wept from her throne and crashed her balled up fists into the wall behind her throne.

“Lexa!” Clarke’s voice was slightly shrill, but she visibly hesitated before she laid her hand on the commander’s elbow. She could understand why the brunette woman was so angry, hearing that the girl you regarded as a daughter of sorts had been violated in such a way would be enough to make the calmest person snap. Clarke shuddered slightly when she thought about how Anya would react, once she heard about it as well.

The sharp pain in her knuckles diverted Lexa’s burning anger at least somewhat. Dark blood already flowed over her fingers, where the skin over her knuckles had burst from the impact. She took a few deep breaths, before she turned her eyes back to Clarke.

The blonde immediately took the commander’s hands and inspected her knuckles, tutting under her breath in disapproval. “We need to clean those” Clarke said in a worried voice. The wounds may be shallow but even shallow wounds could get infected.

Lexa only begrudgingly followed Clarke from the throne room into her own quarters, where the blonde kept her equipment she needed in her function as a healer.

Lexa visibly faltered in front of the doors of Anya’s quarters, knowing that Marie was beneath this very door now. Only Clarke’s hand pushing gently against her back and urging her forward to her own quarters kept the commander walking finally.

“If Marie is starting to remember Anya, she should probably be the only one to stay with her right away. I hope that my mother will be able to say how we can help her best” Clarke addressed the obviously torn young leader in a soft tone. She had no idea if exposing Marie to too much triggers at once might even be counterproductive. She guessed that it would be the better strategy to let the memories Marie must have regained with Anya settle in her mind first and allow her time to rest. She could only imagine how hard the upcoming weeks must be for the girl. None of them knew what exactly Marie had lived through at the hands of the Azgeda queen, but her body was marred by enough scars which clearly indicated just how traumatised the girl would probably be already and adding the strain of trying to regain your own identity would make it so much harder.

Lexa’s shoulders sagged visibly, but she nodded in acceptance. The commander watched how Risha’s nose twitched when she stepped closer to the fireplace, where the young wolf had previously been sleeping.

Risha let out a low whining sound at the smell which reminded her of her human. Lexa smiled slightly at the young wolf and caressed her muzzle “Marie is back with us, Risha” she reassured the wolf, although she knew that the wolf probably would not understand her words.

Clarke could understand that the situation would be heavy on Lexa and Anya. They had accepted Marie’s seemingly death, to now get the girl back. But they had only gotten her back physically and no one could guarantee that the child would ever be the same again. To top it all off there was a war looming in their immediate future. Once everything was in place the commander would march her army against the Ice Nation and with what they now knew, Clarke was sure without the smallest sliver of doubt that Lexa and Anya would not rest before Nia had been killed.

Clarke had collected a bowl with clean water from the bathroom and motioned the commander over with a washcloth in her hand.

Lexa rolled her eyes slightly “Those are merely scratches, Clarke. There is no need to fuss over them” but she still subjected herself to the healer’s caring touch willingly.

Clarke simply tutted at the older girl in disagreement “Would it not be ironic if the all-mighty commander died of something as trivial as an infection due to uncared for scratches?” slight sarcasm was apparent within her voice.

Lexa snorted under her breath but did not say anything. She knew that Clarke tried to lighten her mood with her light banter and she was internally grateful to the blonde girl for that.

“We will manage to get through everything together, Lexa” Clarke assured the commander with conviction burning in her blue eyes, their foreheads rested together gently and Lexa nodded with a smile ghosting at the corners of her mouth, letting herself fall into the blonde’s arms, surrendering her strength for once.

 

Anya had heard the commander and Clarke pass by her door, but she stayed by Marie’s bedside and waited in silence for the girl to finally wake.

It seemed to take forever before Marie began to stir beneath the furs. Anya kept one of the girl’s hands between her own, gently caressing the girl’s fingers.

When Marie finally began to stir, Anya sat up straighter again. She had started to nod off as the hours passed with nothing else to do then watch Marie’s chest rise and fall and listen to her soft breathing.

The moment Marie woke was apparent by the fact that her whole body seemed to freeze overcome by encompassing tenseness.

Anya squeezed the girl’s fingers in what she hoped to be a calming gesture, whispering soothing words to the child. Alarmingly her attempts to calm Marie, had the opposite effect.

Anya let go of the girl’s fingers and leaned away from the bed instead, trying to grant the girl some space, she still kept her voice even and soothing “Marie, open your eyes. You are safe”.

Marie snatched her hand back immediately, scooting upright in the same moment as away from the woman looming next to her bed. She tried to remember frantically, how she had ended up within a bed. She could not remember falling asleep and it took her a few moments to recall what had happened before she lost consciousness. Her breathing was exhilarated and she felt her fingers shaking slightly. 

She shuddered slightly when another memory resurfaced within her mind. The queen had pushed her beyond her physical limits sometimes as well and losing consciousness usually did not have good effects for her.

Marie forcefully banned the memory from her mind, focusing her grey eyes on the woman sitting next to the bed instead. Her brown eyes were filled with a mixture of worry and a relief, a mixture Marie did not understand being possible to exist simultaneously.

“I remember your voice…” Marie finally said, voice slightly forlorn and a frown settled on her face. The voice of the woman undoubtedly matched with the voice that had kept on resonating through her mind for the last months, urging her to hide after she had woken disoriented and in pain. The woman’s name had flashed up in her mind suddenly when she had heard her voice again, but beside her name and voice and the distinct feeling that she knew the woman very well, there was nothing else yet. “…and your name” Marie added after sorting through her confusing thoughts. “But nothing more” the distress she felt coursing through her mind was mirrored on Anya’s face quiet clearly.

Anya had waited in silence for Marie to state what she wanted and felt her heart sink slightly at the realisation of just how much was still missing from the girl’s memories. She did not know of how much she should be telling her charge either, or if Marie would even be willing to believe in her words. She swallowed forcefully and put a slight smile on her features “We will be here to help you, Marie” Anya tried to reassure the girl forcing conviction into her voice.

Marie frowned slightly “We?” she questioned. Her thoughts instantly returned to the brunette handmaid who had been in her cell before Anya. She just knew that they were familiar.

“Yes” Anya nodded, choosing her next words carefully “What has Nia told you about where you have come from, Marie?”

Marie’s expression which had been reasonably open before the mention of the Ice queen closed off completely in the blink of an eye. The girl’s frame tensed again visibly and she shrunk back against the wall, even further away from Anya.

Anya’s face fell slightly at the girl’s negative reaction to her simple question. How should they be able to help Marie, if the girl was unwilling to talk to them?

Marie watched the woman pinch the bridge of her nose in clear agitation, but she still kept herself pressed against the wall. The queen had told her over and over again that it did not matter the slightest bit who she had been before, but just that she now belonged to the queen irrevocably. The way Anya had spoken the queen’s name clearly conveyed distaste and anger and something else the queen had told her flashed up in her mind. The queen had drilled into her who was close to the commander as preparation for her task.

“You are the Trikru general of the commander, aren’t you?” Marie asked after a few moments of strained silence.

Anya raised a brow in question, but she nodded in silent agreement. She watched her charges reaction carefully at the announcement of her connection to the commander.

Marie’s face scrunched up in visible confusion “Why do I know you then?” her voice had gotten slightly higher with an almost shrill note to it and she felt her breathing quicken again in growing panic. Should she not have known the commander as well if she had obviously been connected somehow to one of her closest generals?

Anya noticed the alarm pass over Marie’s features and after a sigh she decided that it would probably be best to tell the truth to the girl “You are my second, Marie. You became my second in TonDC, after you got separated from the Sky children.” She waited for Marie to show a reaction to her words but beside a frown there was nothing, so she added “But you are also the commander’s second”.

Marie looked away from the general with a deep frown as the woman’s words settled into her mind. It would at least explain why the people around the streets of Polis had reacted so strongly to her, as the commander’s second and second to a high ranking general, she must have been well known in the city. Her mind fell back to the brunette with the green eyes, that seemed to awfully familiar. Maybe the woman was a handmaid to the commander as well and she knew her because of that?

“The brunette handmaid that had been with the healer…” Marie started to ask after long silent moments. The thought of being associated with the commander like that was too confusion to really ponder right now, so she focused on something else instead.

Anya held her breath slightly in anticipation. Could it be that their charge could already remember Lexa as well?

“Do I know her as well?” Marie finally asked when Anya simply waited.

Anya nodded with a slight smile “You do”. It was obvious that the girl had not recognized Lexa as the commander but she must have felt something to ask after her.

“I know that I have seen her eyes somehow before…” Marie stated deep in thought, trying hard to dig through her mind for more specific memories, but coming up with nothing. She remembered that Ontari had tried to tell her things about her past, just after the older girl had arrived in the palace. The dark-haired girl had looked relieved to see her, but Marie had not reacted welcoming to her. She had reported back to the queen immediately that Ontari had tried to tell her things, even before truly listening to them. If she truly was Anya’s second, she should be able to trust the woman. But the hateful words of the queen aimed against anyone associated with Trikru still rang loudly in her mind.

Anya nodded with a slight smile. Maybe Clarke was right and Marie would start to remember with time as she was exposed to people she had known and places she had already been.

“Can I see Ontari?” Marie asked after another few moments.

Anya frowned visibly at her charges request, but after a moment of contemplation she nodded her consent. The Ice Nation nightblood seemed to have genuinely tried to help Marie. It might irk Anya that their charge was now even more deeply connected with Ontari, but if the nightblood could help Marie, that was all that mattered. Ontari’s willingness to bow down before Lexa already showed that her loyalties might have truly changed.

Marie ignored Anya’s offered hand to help her from the bed and climbed down keeping as much physical distance between them as possible.

Anya forcefully kept her face straight at the girl’s open negative reaction, which was so contrasting to the child which had liked nothing better than curling up on the bed or a couch together and read and cuddle during her sleep.

Marie looked around herself subtly when she followed Anya through the halls of the tower. She did not reciprocate the smiles of the guards they passed. Most of them were marked with the tattoos of Trikru. She did not recognize any of them and the halls they passed through did not ring any memories as well.

Anya opened the door to Ontari’s room for Marie and watched the girl enter. She remained standing in the open door indecisively for a few moments watching them reunite. She felt slightly better seeing that Marie’s greeting of Ontari was nothing more than a subtle nod, no smile gracing her lips at all. Ontari looked openly surprised at seeing Marie together with Anya but in contrast to the blonde girl, she did smile at the other girl. 

Anya stepped out of the door, not closing it completely but waiting outside. She should still be able to hear what they would say to each other that way.

“You had wanted to tell me something about my past before” Marie started forgoing a greeting completely “But I did not listen. I want to listen now”.

Anya noted on the way the girl immediately spoke in Trigedasleng, her pronunciation had gotten almost perfectly. The child’s tone was only coloured clearly with urgency and lacked the kindness it had usually always held.

“What do you want to know?” Ontari questioned with slight surprise. She would gladly answer anything at this point.

“Have I really been the commander’s second?” Marie asked immediately.

Anya noticed that the girl had not included herself in the question, so maybe she believed her willingly on that fact.

Ontari nodded “Yes” she agreed audibly. From her position she could clearly see that the door had not been closed totally by Anya and that the general was no doubt trying to listen.

Marie frowned “How have I come to know you then?” she asked next. She had no memory of the older nightblood, but even the queen had said that they had known each other previously.

Ontari smiled slightly and retold Marie how she had been sent by the queen to assassinate the commander and the other nightbloods and had abducted Marie instead and how she had been allowed to stay alive by the commander, how a friendship had grown between them.

Marie listened to the older girl’s words carefully. “And the commander allowed you to stay now as well?” she checked after processing everything for a few moments. The queen had painted the image of a ruthless and bloodthirsty woman as the commander in her mind, lusting after the blood of Azgeda. So, why should the commander allow an Ice Nation nightblood to live?

Ontari nodded again “I will pledge myself to the commander”.

“Pledge?” Marie echoed with a frown “The queen ordered us to take her out. To have you made the next commander”.

Ontari shook her head in the negative “Marie, Lexa kom Trikru is a good commander and I am not ready to be commander yet”.

Marie’s frown deepened, but she remained silent.

“You have been very close to the commander, Marie, and to Anya as well” Ontari added after a moment of silence. If she had the girl’s attention right now she needed to try to tell her as much as possible. Marie still sounded convinced that they should follow the queen’s orders, she needed to discourage her from that plan as soon as possible.

Marie looked at Ontari with questions burning in her eyes, swirled with deep doubt. “I was?” she questioned voice softer again.

Ontari nodded again “I do not know for sure, but you were more a daughter to them, than just their second. You would regret killing either of them once you regain your full memory”.

The intensity of Ontari’s dark eyes was unsettling Marie slightly, there was no doubt she was speaking the truth. So, Marie nodded again with a cautious expression “I hope I will remember soon then…” she said before she turned back to the door.

“I hope so too…” Ontari answered faintly as she watched the blonde girl leave.  


	157. Chapter 157

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight repetition of a warning. This and several of the next chapters will heavily focus on the sexual abuse Marie has suffered. If this upsets you, I advise not to read them.
> 
> I hope that some of you, are still interested in continuing to read my story. Due to the mostly lack of comments or only very little feedback, it becomes increasingly difficult for me to judge if this story is still appreciated or not.  
> I’d like to express my extreme gratitude to those, who still take a little time and effort to leave a comment, no matter how long. It is extremely treasured by me, as your feedback mostly motivates me to continue writing.
> 
> Previously in chapter 156  
> Lexa tells Clarke about what they learned from Ontari. Clarke tries to take care of the obviously agitated commander. Anya speaks with Marie once she wakes. Marie only remembers very little and wants to speak to Ontari, believing more into her word right now. Ontari tells Marie that she will regret killing Lexa and Anya.

Chapter 157

The night was difficult for Anya and Marie.

It was obvious how unsettled Marie was and Anya was constantly worrying of how she should be treating the girl.

The general highly doubted that Marie would want to share a bed at the moment, the girl shied away from every slight touch. She almost regretted having thrown out the girl’s bed from her quarters a few weeks ago, but at the time she had needed to get rid of it. She also did not wish for the girl to be alone right away, so assigning another room to her was out of question as well.

Marie had followed the woman back through the halls and to the general’s quarters in silence, lost in her own thoughts and Anya did not disturb her charge.

The girl stood in the middle of the room, her grey eyes darting around the room unsurely. With the Ice queen she had at least always known to the point what was expected of her and what consequences she should expect, if she failed to meet those expectations. Now, Marie felt lost and insecure without those clear rules guiding her behaviour.

Would Anya be expecting her to follow the same rules? Marie had no idea and it made her even more jittery.

Anya rummaged through her chest with clothes, she knew that there was nothing left in her quarters which had belonged to Marie, but one of her shirts would clearly do for the night.

Marie looked at the simply dark shirt being handed to her questioningly.

“You can sleep in this tonight” Anya explained “We will see tomorrow if any of your clothes are still around”. The general did not know if Lexa might have kept some of the girl’s clothing, but procuring new clothing would not be too difficult as well.

Marie nodded with a guarded expression and took the shirt. She immediately felt how soft the material of the fabric was. The Ice queen had her usually dressed in rather scratchy clothes which further irritated her wounded skin.

After a moment of silent hesitation Marie undressed in front of the general. If the woman had truly been her first before, she had probably seen her naked already. She still was acutely aware of the woman’s brown eyes following her every move and raking over her revealed skin, before Marie quickly shrugged on the black shirt. Thankfully the shirt was loose on her frame and reached down to her thighs, hiding most of her body beneath.

Anya felt anger course through her veins at the state of Marie’s body, it was littered with scars. Marie had not been conscious of her body anymore before she had been brought to the queen, but it was obvious that she was unsettled at being watched again now.

The general sighed under her breath. It had already turned dark outside and they should try to get some rest soon.

“You can have the bed for the night” Anya offered graciously. The girl’s reaction to simply being watched told her quiet clearly that sharing a bed would probably not go over too well. She took some of the furs from the bed and laid them down on the ground, she had slept on the floor before.

Marie’s grey eyes widened visibly at the offer and she quickly shook her head “The floor is acceptable” she reassured the general. The queen had sometimes allowed her to sleep on the ground next to her bed as well and it had been the better nights, where she did not have to sleep under the same furs with the woman.

Anya frowned, but finally nodded after long moments. If Marie felt better that way, she would go with it for the night. A new bed could be added for Marie the following day.

Marie laid down on the furs on the floor, whole body still rigid and tense in anticipation. It did not seem as if Anya would want her to do anything for her right now, but the queen had not required anything from her in the beginning as well.

Marie fell asleep some time later, she could still feel the general watching over her from the bed.

Anya looked down at the sleeping girl with worried brown eyes. How were they supposed to help Marie, when the girl did not accept them in her vicinity? She hoped that Clarke’s mother would truly have some experience with people who had lost their memory.

Anya had let some of the candles on the table keep on burning, but they had given out a few hours later, so that their quarters fell into total darkness again.

As the darkness swept through the room, Marie’s breathing became laboured. She had woken up from a slight nightmare some time ago. She could hear the other woman’s deep breathing coming from the bed and Anya was obviously still asleep. So, she had fortunately not woken the other woman up, still Marie felt tense and afraid.

Marie did not remember in particular what she had dreamt about, since she had lost her memories, she rarely remembered what she dreamt about at night. But she woke up in a cold sweat, breathing shallowly and feeling haunted.

Marie tried to control her breathing and fall back asleep. As she felt her body relaxing slowly, memories flashed up in her mind. She could swear she felt the queen’s fingers ghosting over her skin again. Her trembling increased and she felt bile rise in her throat.

Marie hurriedly stood up from the furs and stumbled through the dark quarters to the bathroom. On the way she stubbed her toes on the chest standing next to the bed. Marie bit her lips with a hiss, trying to reign in a curse.

Anya woke from the sound of Marie moving around the room. When she heard sounds of Marie retching in the bathroom, she instantly slipped out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, casting worried glances inside. She stopped inside of the door hovering there indecisively.

As soon as Marie noticed Anya’s presence by the door, she straightened up immediately, wiping at her mouth with a shaking hand.

“I will make you a tea to calm your stomach” Anya offered and retreated back into the room. She quickly coaxed the fire back to life and lightened a few candles around the room. The image the girl presented through the still opened door to the bathroom was pathetic. Her skin was pale and glistening with sweat, her eyes looked around the room skittishly as if she was searching for a possible attacker.

Anya sighed under breath. She had felt out of her realm of experience when she had needed to comfort the girl from her nightmares the first few times, but dealing with this version of the child overwhelmed herself even more.

Marie tried to gather her bearings while she heard the general move through the quarters. She needed a few moments until she had been able to stop her limps from shaking and she was internally grateful to the general for leaving her alone for as long as she needed.

Anya smiled slightly at Marie when the girl returned to the main room of her quarters. Marie did not respond to her smile but her eyes seemed to calm slightly.

Marie accepted the cup with the streaming tea with a grateful nod, careful that their fingers did not brush in the slightest. She cautiously peered up at the general, she knew that she had woken the woman and she did not know if she would be punished for that, but she could not detect anger in the other woman’s face.

Marie fiddled with the cup in her hand, looking down at the furs unsurely. She was sure that she would not be able to sleep anymore tonight.

Anya regarded the girl in silence for a moment, she still felt tired but Marie still looked to be way too skittish to sleep now. “Sit down” Anya ordered and motioned to the bed.

Marie visibly tensed at the command, but she complied with it without any hesitation. She could not remember if the general had ever been violent with her or not, so it was probably safer to obey her anyway. She sat down as far from Anya as possible and kept her glance fixed on the cups in her hands.

Anya sighed and went into the bathroom herself. She had no idea how to deal with Marie right now.

Marie remained sitting on the bed and looked behind the retreating general. She felt better now that candles were burning again in the room. She had stopped feeling well in any form of darkness a while ago. She only realized now that Ontari had been careful to always keep some candles burning during the night.

Anya spent long minutes in the bathroom, trying to give Marie and herself even more time apart. It was obvious that the girl did not wish to be seen in her distraught state.

Marie had already downed the complete cup of tea when Anya returned. She was slightly confused why the tea had been made so sweet, clearly an extensive amount of honey had been added to the brew. The queen had rarely allowed her any kind of treats, in fact even normal food had to be earned by excellent behaviour.

“Did I usually had the tea so sweet?” she asked once the general returned to the room.

Anya raised an eyebrow in slight amusement. It had always been difficult to get the girl to drink any kind of tea without a copious amount of honey. She had no idea how a memory loss worked, it was obvious Marie had not lost her ability to speak Trigedasleng. But it seemed that she had forgotten essentially what had made her into a unique character such as her own taste, but had kept her skills. She nodded with a smile ghosting around the corners of her lips “You would only drink tea with honey” the general recalled “When you were sick, there was no arguing with you about drinking a needed tea without an extensive amount of honey”.

Marie snorted slightly under her breath at the information. The woman’s expression seemed honest and Marie could not think of a reason for her to make such a little snippet up, so she believed her word. She felt herself relax slightly in the woman’s presence and gave into the urge to ask more about her past “How have I met you?” she asked voice almost tentative.

Anya sat down on the bed on the other side, respectfully keeping space between them. She kept her tone gentle and expression kind as she recalled to Marie how she had interrogated her in TonDC.

Marie scooted back against the headboard and pulled her legs up, hugging her knees to her chest. She let her chin rest on her knees as she listened to the general’s narration. She tried to remember the things Anya was telling her, but nothing came up in her mind. Nevertheless, she was slightly soothed by the woman’s voice. The queen had never told her any kind of stories, if she spoke to her it was orders or punishments.

Something the queen had drilled into her mind from the beginning on kept on resonating through her mind. Although it sounded as if the general was choosing her words very carefully, it still seemed as if the woman had genuinely cared about her well-being, something the queen had insisted only she did now. Marie had started to believe in the queen’s words, but there was something about Anya that seemed so very different.

Even more confusing to Marie was the fact that the general kept her distance to her. She had tried to keep space between herself and the queen as well, but the queen had never let her have space and either simply reached over or commanded her over. She had always known what the queen expected of her, if she was asked to stay with her during the night. Maybe the general expected her to do the same for her? Maybe the general was actually waiting for exactly that? Maybe she would be punished if she did not offer without being prompted to?

Anya watched the girl’s expression with a worried frown. Marie had looked relaxed during her narration, but something was clearly troubling her now. The girl seemed to have folded in on herself and a shiver was shaking her frame visibly.

“Marie” Anya addressed the girl in a soft tone and pried the now empty cup from her shaking fingers. She ignored the pronounced flinch that caused from Marie. “You are safe now” the general tried to reassure the girl with honest eyes and conviction in her tone.

Marie looked up at the woman with unsure grey eyes, she noticed that Anya had gotten closer to her. Her heart rate picked up noticeably, unsure if the woman truly expected her to do the same the queen had always demanded of her. She was not able to recognize the emotion flickering through the woman’s brown eyes. Could it be impatience?

Taking a deep breath, Marie leaned over and placed her hands on Anya’s flanks.

Anya looked down at the girl with a slight smile, thinking it to be a good step that Marie seemed to want physical closeness now. Her smile froze on her face, when she felt the girl’s hands wander to her thighs, slowly inching closer to her groin. Anya encased the girl’s wrists with her own, pulling her hands away from her body and her voice shook slightly with alarm “What do you think you are doing?”

Marie blinked up at the woman with confusion “Making you feel good?” she answered, intimidated by the woman’s negative reaction. The queen had only been pleased if she was the one to offer and initiate the contact, once she had been taught on what to do. She tried to inch away from Anya instinctively, but the woman still kept a firm hold on her wrists.

“Making me feel good?” Anya echoed voice shaking, paling at the implication of the word. “Did the queen make you do that for her?” she demanded to know, voice harder and eyes unyielding.

Marie tried to free her wrists from the woman’s firm hold, trying to inch away more frantically now. Anya was obviously angry now. She did not understand what had prompted the woman’s anger. Maybe the woman truly expected totally different things from her. She shook her head frantically, the warning ringing through her mind that it should have remained a secret between the queen and her.

Anya let go of the girl’s wrists abruptly when she finally noticed just how distraught the girl seemed to be right now. Marie immediately inched away into the corner of the bed, pressing her back against the safety of the wall and peering at Anya anxiously.

The girl’s reaction was answer enough without confirmation and Anya felt bile rise in her throat at the realization of just what exactly the girl had gone through. Her emotions were going crazy and she stood abruptly from the bed, storming into the bathroom and slamming the door closed behind herself. In a fit of rage Anya threw the bowl standing on a table against the wall. It burst into pieces immediately at the impact and water ran down the wall, leaving a darkened strain behind. Her rage gave way to an encompassing sense of failure. It was her fault that the girl had come into the hands of the Ice queen in the first place. Her legs gave out under her and she slid down onto the floor as she felt hot tears run down her cheeks.

Marie flinched violently at the crashing sound of the bowl hitting the wall and looked at the door to the bathroom in alarm. She did not understand Anya’s reaction in the slightest. Had she done something wrong? And how would she be punished for it? When the general did not return to the room after several minutes Marie’s worry only increased. She thought that she could hear faint sounds of crying from the bathroom, but she was not sure.

When more minutes flowed by and the general had not returned yet, Marie cautiously slid from the bed. Slowly she walked over to the bathroom and carefully pushed the door open.

Marie stopped in the opened door inhaling harshly. Anya was truly crying and she had obviously shattered a bowl in probably. Her brows scrunched up in confusion. She did not understand why the woman was crying. Had she upset her somehow?

“I am sorry…” she offered in a soft voice, hovering in the opened door indecisively. She had no idea what she had done wrong, but apologizing felt to be the safest way to go, even though she may not understand for what she was apologizing.

Anya startled at her charge’s soft words, she had not heard the girl entering the bathroom. She shook her head to wave off the girl’s apology “There is nothing for you to apologize for” she assured the girl in a tone that left no room for discussion, as she stood up from the floor.

“You are crying…” Marie stated unsurely. It had to have been her fault somehow.

Anya stepped closer to the girl, trying to ignore the fact that Marie immediately inched backwards slightly. Her hands hovered above the girl’s shoulders indecisively for a moment, before she placed them firmly on her shoulders, once again ignoring the flinch the contact prompted. She squeezed the girl’s shoulders reassuringly and she crouched down in front of her, so that they were on the same eye level. “You have done nothing wrong, Marie” Anya tried to convince the girl in a firm tone “The queen has wronged you, so there is nothing you need to apologize for”.

The gears seemed to be turning within the girl’s mind, but Anya highly doubted that Marie would really believe in her words at the moment. She sighed under her breath, squeezing the girl’s shoulders again with a tight-lipped smile.

All of them would need to be there for Marie in the upcoming weeks and months. Dealing with what had happened to her, would not be easy and Anya dearly hoped the girl would regain her memories quickly. It would make it so much easier for her and Lexa if Marie truly remembered their connection.


	158. Chapter 158

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried something different again with this chapter. But it will probably remain the only chapter out of this character's perspective.  
> Thanks a lot for all who now left a comment. I was actually pretty overwhelmed to see that still so many of you are still eagerly waiting for updates =)
> 
> Previously in chapter 157  
> Anya deals with the first night together with Marie in her quarters. She learns that the queen has sexually abused the girl.

Chapter 158

Abby’s POV

Abby had been quite surprised to hear her daughter ask for her presence in Polis. She had not been in the capitol since Octavia’s and Lincoln’s bonding. She had also not seen Clarke since then. She had tried several times to get Clarke to agree to come back to Skykru, but she had ceased her attempts after Clarke had denied to speak to her for several weeks. They had only gotten updates from Monty at that time.

Octavia had left Arkadia for good as well. Both, Markus and she, had not expected anything less, but Bellamy still seemed to miss his sister dearly. They still saw Octavia regularly though. The girl was still a second to Indra and the Trikru chief visited Arkadia frequently now that the snow had melted again.

Thanks to the help of Trikru, they had survived the winter. Abby was reluctant to admit that they would not have survived without any aid, but even she was not dumb enough to claim that now. The Trikru warriors had been imperative in building their storages of food, warm clothes and furs for winter.

Abby looked around Arkadia as she moved to the rover. She had promised Clarke to use one and by thus shorten the time to reach the capitol considerably. Clarke had already told her that Marie suffered from an amnesia and she had already searched through the database of the Ark for literature of the old world which could be beneficial.

Beside the carcass of the Ark they had built quite a few of huts, again receiving aid from Trikru warriors for that, and families had begun to settle down in them.

In a few weeks they expected the first births on earth. Taking out the contraceptive implants from all the females had taken a few weeks, but their numbers would undoubtedly grow in the future.

Raven, who would be driving her rover, already waited at the vehicle with Markus. Abby smiled slightly at the man, he had already been out of the quarters they now shared when she woke in the morning.

“I had wanted to see you off” Markus said with a genuine smile.

Raven rolled her eyes at them and already slipped into the rover, giving them a moment of privacy.

Abby shook her head in amusement at the young woman’s antics, before she turned to Markus “I will come back as soon as possible” she promised. The corners of her mouth tilted into a slight smile as Markus pressed a kiss onto her lips.

Abby had left the medical bay in the capable hands of Jackson for the duration of her absence. Nyko was currently here as well. The Trikru healer had been open to exchange knowledge right from the start and Abby hoped that other healers would follow his example once word spread. There was so much they could learn from each other when it came to healing techniques.

Trade had slowly started to be established between TonDC and Arkadia on a regular basis as well. Things were truly starting to look up for them now.

The news they had heard from Monty about a possible war with Azgeda was troubling to Abby and Markus likewise. Markus had been quick to assure the commander that Skykru would support their army with guns and manpower if needed.

Abby was worried of the political status of the coalition. They had pledged themselves to it irrevocably now and that worried her even more.

Surprisingly the remaining part of the delinquents they had sent to earth were the most open to the Trikru warriors teaching them how to hunt and fight.

It worried her that in total five of the kids had already decided that they would leave Arkadia and move to TonDC. Two girls had fallen in love with warriors from the village and were intending to follow Octavia’s lead and bond with them. Abby had tried to discourage them, but it had been of no use. The other three had found a first in TonDC who was willing to take them one. One was aiming to be educated to become a hunter, the second wanted to become a blacksmith and the third would try to become a warrior.

Markus did not share her fears in the regard that they needed to keep their people close. The man was of the steadfast opinion that a tight connection to Trikru could only benefit them in the end. She had stopped talking to him about this subject, only the future would show them who was correct in their assumption.

She squeezed Markus’ hand slightly in goodbye and got into the rover next to Raven. The young mechanic had a cocky grin on her face. She loved every opportunity to drive on of the rovers and the usage was tightly controlled to use only spare amounts of fuel.

“Ready to go, doc?” the young woman asked with a grin.

Abby slightly rolled her eyes. Since Raven’s leg had been cured with the machine they had retrieved from the Mountain, the young woman had recovered immensely, losing all signs of depression.

Abby let her eyes wander over Arkadia as Raven slowly steered the rover towards the fence. Children were running through the place, playing tag with loud squeals. People were working on the fields that had been cultivated. They would be able to harvest for the first time in a few months’ time.  

The way towards the capitol passed in relative silence. Raven had turned on some music and was humming along the tune, while Abby simply watched the landscape flow by them.

Abby was pleasantly surprised that it was Clarke in person who waited for their arrival at the walls of Polis. She smiled at her daughter in greeting and immediately enveloped the girl into a tight embrace.

“You seem happy” Abby whispered into her ear, before she let go. But it was true, that the girl looked happy. Her blue eyes were shining again, although the worry was apparent on her face.

Clarke forced a smile onto her face. She had hoped to evade her mother’s attempts to get her back into Arkadia for as long as possible. She had only asked her mother to come solely for Marie’s sake.

“Mom” she retorted with a strained tone “There is more you will need to know about Marie to help her”. She had briefly spoken with Anya in the morning and the general had seemed rather shaken. Anya had confirmed what Ontari had implied.

“Well, hello to you too, Clarke” Raven drawled, leaning against the rover casually, interrupting their exchange.

Clarke forget about her tension for a moment as she turned to Raven. A smile graced her lips, as she enveloped the mechanic in an enthusiastic hug “Hello, Raven. It is great to see you”.

“I have heard the kid really can’t take a break for too long” Raven commented. Although her tone was still rather light, her brown eyes showed her compassion for Marie.

Clarke sighed “You have no idea”. She had spent most of the night trying to comfort Lexa. It had been painfully obvious just how much Marie’s return had upset the commander.

They strolled through the streets in relative silence. Clarke cautiously told her mother about her place as a healer in the capitol, choosing her words carefully. Her mother had no idea about her relationship with the commander and she doubted that the woman would take the news well.

“I have already taken a look at her body” Clarke addressed her mother, once they reached the tower and the privacy of the elevator. She knew where they would find Marie as Anya had told her that she would be staying within her quarters with the girl until Abby arrived.

Abby nodded in acknowledgment waiting for her daughter to continue.

“There is a lot of scarring” Clarke told her “I don’t know if there is any possibility to diminish it at least slightly. But I guess she will need something to keep her skin soft.”

Abby frowned slightly. If there were no wounds justifying her immediate attention, she did not know for sure why she had been called to Polis at all.

Clarke shortly looked to Raven, before she sighed “I guess it is better, if you hear it from me now. Marie does not have any recollection of who she was before she was brought to Nia.”

Abby nodded “You already told me about the amnesia. Does she remember anything from before?”

Clarke nodded slightly “She remembered Anya’s voice and she knows that she has already seen Lexa’s eyes. But not much else”.

Abby frowned slightly at the off-hand use of the commander’s name by her daughter. Both women must be close to prompt such a familiar usage.

“I don’t know if there is anything we can do to aid her in regaining her memories” Clarke continued, before her features sobered completely. Sadness and anger flashed through her blue eyes “Marie has not been subjected to physical torture only”.

“Only?” It was Raven who reacted with her characteristic sarcasm, an eyebrow raised cockily.

Clarke shook her head “We know for sure now that Nia has sexually abused her as well…” her voice trailed off weakly.

Abby inhaled sharply and her eyes widened. Raven’s expression froze momentarily before it sobered completely as well.

There had been very few cases of sexual assaults on the Ark to Abby’s knowledge and those where the victims had been minors had been even more scarce. She had never heard of a case of such an assault happening between the same gender.

The combination between the trauma of sexual abuse, physical and probably mental torture and amnesia would make a therapy extremely taxing on everyone involved. The girl would need to be supervised as much during the day as possible. Her days would need to be structured extremely well to give her a sense of stability.

But it would not only be Marie who would need help. But those who would deal on a daily basis with her, would probably need help as well.

She had never been confronted with such a patient and Abby was not sure that she would be qualified at all to offer any assistance. None of their doctors on the Ark had ever truly been schooled as a therapist.

“I will try to help as much as possible” Abby assured her daughter honestly “But this is out of my capabilities as well” she admitted sadly.

She told her daughter that they would need to speak through the girl’s typical days and who would spend most of her time with Marie. Abby wanted an opportunity to speak with every single one of them. She was glad that she had already downloaded some of the literature of psychologists of the old world and hoped that she would find something useful there.

“For the majority of the time it will probably be Anya who will be with Marie” Clarke quickly answered. She would probably also see quite a bit of the child, once it was safe for Lexa to be around Marie again. After Anya had told them that Marie had asked after the brunette handmaid, Lexa had already decided that she planned to spend some time with Marie under the disguise of the handmaid again.

Abby nodded with a slight frown. Her previous interactions with the Trikru general had not been very easy and she already knew that she would be needed to speak to the commander as well. She was even slightly nervous to come face to face with Marie for the first time. Memories of the sweet girl who had sat with her mother in the medical bay for weeks flashed up in her mind. Even on the ground the girl had previously managed to retain some of her kindness and gentleness and somehow still managed to blend in with the harsh culture around her. It would undoubtedly be a hard task for Marie to be integrated back into a normal daily life now.

“It would be best if I can speak to Marie on her own first” Abby said once they reached the top floor of the tower.

Clarke nodded “I will call Anya out” and after knocking, she stepped inside the general’s quarters.

The atmosphere inside the room was strained. Anya’s emotional exhaustion was obvious on her features.

Marie sat at the table, looking tense and completely out of place. A book sat on her table in front of her and Anya waited for the girl to read what she had instructed her to. The rest of the night had passed dragging, neither of them had gotten any more sleep at all.

Marie looked up from the book, a startled expression on her face. She recognized the blonde young woman as the healer, who had been to see her during the previous night. She was unable to hear the words the blonde whispered to Anya, but she saw the general nod in acknowledgment.

“A healer from Skykru is hear to speak with you” Anya addressed Marie in a strict tone “You are to answer her question in absolute truth only, is that clear?”

Marie nodded quickly, obviously still intimidated slightly by the general’s strict mannerism. She immediately wondered why another healer was needed to speak with her. And why a healer from Skykru?

Marie watched the two women leave and only a moment later another woman entered. She was blonde as well, but older and she slightly resembled the blonde healer, so she judged that they might be related to each other.

“Hello Marie” Abby greeted the girl kindly. She had to force herself to keep her professional façade upright. Clarke had not understated the obvious changes in Marie’s appearance. Not much seemed to be left of the young girl she had seen last at Octavia’s bonding.

Marie only nodded in acknowledgment, looking up at the woman clearly unsure.

Abby took out a chair and sat down opposite of Marie, judging the girl mutely.

It was clearly quickly that simply being stared at in absolute silence unnerved Marie immensely. The girl was tipping her fingertips against the table in apparent nervousness, but she stared back at Abby in silence as well.

“Do I know you?” Marie finally asked after long tense moments.

Abby smiled slightly and nodded “You used to know me, yes. Has Anya told you about your life on the Ark?”

Marie shook her head, her expression unmoved “Only that I was born into Skykru”.

Abby nodded again in acknowledgment. She was aware that it would be more important for Marie to regain the memories she had made after landing on earth. “Marie, I know that you have been through much in the last months. I have been asked to counsel you”.

Marie scrunched up her brows, sitting slightly straighter in the chair, but she did not offer any words as a response.

“If I am to help you, you need to be honest with me, Marie. I will speak with you about what has happened to you and you will have to tell me what you are feeling for example” Abby explained in a soothing tone.

Marie’s frown deepened and her expression became stony “There is nothing to tell” she said decisively and looked away.

Abby sighed under her breath. “It is alright, if you do not wish to talk at the moment. You just need to know, that I will listen to anything you might wish to speak about in the future, alright?”

Marie inclined her head in silent acknowledgment, but her expression still remained hard and unreadable.

“Do you know what has caused your memory loss?” Abby asked, changing the topic. It would not help if she forced Marie to speak, if she was so clearly against it.

“I have hit my head somehow” Marie informed the woman. She had felt blood running down the side of her face and she had felt a lump on her head. The lump was still there slightly. When she told Abby so, the woman stood from her chair.

Marie flinched visibly when Abby abruptly stretched out her hands and felt along the girl’s head for the lump. The girl was correct in her assumption and Abby could still feel a deformation on the girl’s head. The fall from the tree must have been hard to cause such a wound. Mixed with the fact that Marie’s skull had already been hurt before by the operation trying to treat her aneurysm, it was no wonder that another trauma to the head had caused such a serious wound.

“You have started to remember things” Abby finally said, stepping back from Marie and sitting back down on the chair.

Marie nodded “I remember Anya. Or at least her name and that I know her voice”.

“That is a starting point” Abby said “Do you know what a trigger is?”

Marie frowned slightly and shook her head in the negative.

“Hearing Anya’s voice again has been a trigger for you. It has started to trigger memories to come back to your mind. Your memories are not erased from your mind. You just cannot excess them at the moment” Abby explained calmly “Triggers may be a lot of things. A certain phrase, a smell, a touch or even a place which has been linked to emotional memories”.

“So, I need to trigger my memories?” Marie questioned “Why has nothing come back before?”

“You have not been in the north before, Marie” Abby answered “But it is promising that you have already started to react to triggers”.

Marie nodded, hope visibly flashing through her grey eyes. Removed from the queen, who had dictated her every move, she felt lost. So, Marie hoped to fell better once she remembered who she was.

“Is there anything that you wish to talk about?” Abby asked voice sounding hopeful. It was obvious that the girl felt insecure about the new situation she was in. But Abby doubted that the effects of her trauma would really show before she settled back into her life in Polis or at least began to find a little trust again into someone. The girl’s mind would be too focused on trying to regain her memory now and trying to fit in.

Marie immediately shook her head and her face closed off as well again.

Abby nodded with a low sigh leaving her lips. She knew that counselling was not for everyone, but it would never work, if Marie refused to express what she was feeling. She would stay for a few days and try to offer the girl different ways of expressing herself, which would not necessarily require her to talk. But there was no way, she could force the girl to work through her experiences.

“I will see you tomorrow then” Abby said to Marie with a kind smile and left the table.

A guard motioned her over to the door at the end of the corridor and Abby stepped inside. The rooms were easily double the size of the general’s quarters and she guessed that they would be belonging to the commander.

“How did it go?” Clarke asked her mother immediately. She had sat down with Anya on the couch. The general was absently caressing Risha who sat by her feet. Lexa was in the bathroom at the moment, getting ready for a meeting which would start soon.

Abby sighed “She refuses to speak to me about anything which happened to her. I will not be able to offer her any help this way. But I think that working through her trauma will need to take place gradually. She is not ready to face it yet and it is obvious that the girl wants to focus on regaining her memories.”

Clarke frowned “Maybe she will open up with time again?”

Abby looked doubtful “If you are correct about the torture and the extent of it, it is unlikely. The queen will have undoubtedly forbidden her to speak about anything which happened between them. Has she freely told you about the sexual abuse?” The doctor looked to the general in question.

Anya shook her head, a mixture out of sadness and anger shining in her brown eyes “She seemed to be of the impression that she needed to offer herself to me. But she did not say anything when I specifically asked about what Nia had made her do”.

Abby nodded with another sigh “It is even more unlikely that she would open up to me about it. Right now, she only feels a slight connection to you. It is obvious that she does not understand it yet, but I hope that more memories will come back to her over time, now that she is back in a familiar environment”.

Anya nodded, they all shared that hope after all.


	159. Chapter 159

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot that some of you left a comment again last time =)
> 
> Previously in chapter 158  
> Abby travels to Polis to try to help Marie. Marie does not wish to speak about her experiences at all, but Abby hopes that it will change once she starts to remember more.

Chapter 159

Lexa had listened to Clarke’s mother’s words from the bathroom. She would not confess it aloud, but a part of her had already feared that they would not be able to help Marie in her recovery. Although the logical part of her mind understood that Clarke’s mother was their best hope to actually help the girl, another part of her detested the woman deeply and she doubted that working with her now would be any easier than their previous encounters had been.

Although she was relatively sure that Clarke would not wish to go back to Skykru and by thus give in to her mother’s constant pleas, Lexa could still not completely silence the little voice in her mind that agreed with the woman. Clarke would surely be safer away from her, but she selfishly hoped for Clarke to stay by her side.

Lexa sighed under her breath, all too aware that she was stalling for no reason. So, she straightened her shoulders and stepped out of the bathroom.

Clarke looked up from her place immediately and a soft smile graced her lips in silent greeting.

Lexa felt the corners of her own lips ghost upwards answering the blonde’s smile almost instinctively. She stopped the smile from taking form completely as her gaze fell to Clarke’s mother. “Abby” the commander addressed the older woman respectfully “We are grateful you have come to assist”.

“Where is Marie now?” Lexa shortly turned to Anya in question. She did not feel well with the thought of leaving the girl alone at the moment.

Abby had nodded in silent acknowledgment at the commander’s thanks, but her eyes stayed hefted on Clarke suspiciously.

“In my quarters” Anya answered with a slight frown. She had not considered the fact that Marie was alone there now. Who knows what the girl would get up to?

“I will need to speak with all of you” Abby quickly intervened before either of the two women could suggest to leave.

Lexa nodded and crossed the room while saying “Gustus can watch over her for now”.

Abby watched the commander’s movements and waited for the woman to return before she spoke “Marie has been gone for how long exactly?”

“Six moons” Anya immediately answered before Lexa could open her mouth.

Abby nodded again “Marie said that her memory starts in the woods, before she was brought into the north. Which also means that whatever queen Nia has wanted to make her believe will run very deeply in her mind now”.

Lexa and Anya banded a silent glance, they had known as much already from Ontari.

“From the way in which Marie acted, it is apparent that being removed from the queen has confused her. She is probably feeling lost” Abby continued “It may sound senseless, but what Marie needs now is a very strictly organized day. She needs a clear set of rules and expectations and she needs to be aware of the consequences misbehaving or failure will have.”

Abby looked at all three women shortly before she continued “Forcing Marie to talk about what has been done to her, will not work. She needs to be aware that you are willing to listen to whatever she may wish to say, but I doubt she will enclose anything before she starts to trust you.”

Abby paused for a moment. Clarke had told her that an older girl had brought Marie back “The girl who had brought Marie back to Polis” she started “Are they friends?”

Anya sighed slightly “They have been and Marie had wanted to see Ontari. She apparently wanted the girl to confirm what I have told her about her past”.

Abby nodded again “Then she might even be the one to who Marie might open up first. She should be able to see her, if that is possible”. The doctor had no idea who the girl was, but the expression on the commander’s and the general’s face both showed their disdain for the girl.

“If Marie asks about her past, you should answer her” Abby advised “But do not simply list of her past to her, she will not feel any connection to it that way and she can feel only overwhelmed.”

“How can we help her regain her memory quicker?” the commander asked after a moment of contemplation.

Abby shook her head “That is just the thing. You cannot expect Marie to quickly remember everything. It has taken her sixth month to even start remembering anything. It is a very real probability, that she will never regain her complete memory.”

“But it is a good sign that Marie has started to remember something after being back to Polis for only a few hours” Clarke chimed in vehemently, sensing both Lexa and Anya faltering. Clarke had been in the bathroom when Titus had demanded to speak with Lexa about Marie’s return in the early hours of the morning. The flamekeeper had been insistent in his opinion that Marie could not remain in her function within Polis if she was a possible danger to Lexa.

Abby nodded with a cautious expression “You are right that it is a good sign, but by no way a guarantee. She should be exposed to places where she had previously made memories. Places where her emotions have run high might work best”.

“We will try to think of where that might be the case” Lexa agreed with a neutral expression.

Anya had seemed lost in thought for the last moments and her voice sounded almost tentative “Should we treat her different in any way?”

Abby immediately shook her head “No, pity will not help her. It will not be easy to deal with her now and I can guarantee that she will test all of you. She will try to test her limits. There is no way of predicting how she truly reacts to the trauma of what she has been through in the last months. Right now, her mind has not worked through it, but was solely focused on surviving. Once she feels to be in a safer environment, that is bound to change.”

“What can we expect then?” Lexa asked with a slight frown.

Abby thinned her lips “Just like I said, there is no way to predict that. But from what I have researched victims of torture and sexual violence show completely different reaction. She might suddenly wish to explain very explicitly what has been done to her. Marie might never be able to talk about it. She is probably going to suffer from nightmares.”

“She already does…” Anya said, her voice exhausted and her brown eyes laden with sadness.

“She should not be left alone for long periods of time. In some cases, victims have become violent against themselves, when their minds are unable to cope with the inner turmoil otherwise” Abby listed off what she had read so far “She is bound to test if you are going to keep your word. It is imperative that you all stick to the rules set for her. The most important thing right now is for her to feel safe and protected again, but it will not be easy to regain her trust.”

 

Gustus stepped into the general’s quarters with a guarded expression. So far, he had not interacted with the girl since her return to the tower.

His dark eyes narrowed when he looked to Marie. The girl’s cheeks seemed slightly heated as if she had hurried with something. Gustus quickly scanned the room and noticed how a few things looked untidy and disturbed, as if they had been searched through.

“If you have found a weapon, put it back onto the table instantly” he ordered, his voice hard and his dark eyes strict.

Marie seemed to contemplate her possibilities for a moment, her grey eyes flicking to the door, before she jutted out her chin and sullenly pulled a dagger from the waistband of her pants.

“Anything else?” Gustus prompted the girl almost harshly.

Marie’s lips thinned visibly and she bent down and took out another dagger, probably shoved into her boots. The girl crossed her arms over her chest in a moody gesture and her grey eyes were angry as they glared at the burly man.

“Good” Gustus nodded, taking the weapons from the table and putting them onto a cupboard on the other side of the room, out of reach of the girl. It would not do to underestimate the girl’s fighting skills. If anything, Ice Nation assassins were well known for their skills and Marie had been with Nia long enough to have learned a lot. “Thank you” the burly man said and nodded to the blonde girl as he sat down opposite of her.

Surprise flashed over the girl’s features quickly, before she schooled her features again. Her crossed arms did loosen though and she was visibly unsure of how to act now.

“Did I used to know you as well?” Marie finally broke the silence in an almost tentative voice.

“You did” Gustus agreed, the corners of his lips tilting up in a smile “We are fortunate to see you alive again, something we had not thought to ever do”.

Marie looked at the man with a frown on her features. It was obvious by the slight tilt of her head and the concentration on her face, that she tried to remember him.

Gustus shook his head, when apparent frustration overshadowed Marie’s expression. “Your memories are going to come back sooner or later, Marie. There is no reason to be frustrated. You are alive, that is all that matters”.

Marie’s grey eyes looked almost pleading, before she quickly averted her gaze from his dark eyes.

Gustus saw the girl stiffen when he searched for something within a pocket of his coat, so Marie was obviously still watching him from the corner of her eyes. The change in the girl’s behaviour was apparent, where Marie had been relaxed and happy, always smiling and constantly chatting, the girl was suspicious, tense and silent now.

“Do you recognize that?” Gustus asked once he found what he had been searching for.

Marie’s eyes widened visibly at the sight. The man must be speaking the truth then, if he had kept one of her braids with him, she must have meant something to him in the past.

The queen had told her over and over again, that she was the only one to care for her. But keeping someone’s braid spoke otherwise. Did other people hold a braid of her in possession as well?

“Who else does have one?” Marie asked with inquiring eyes.

“Why do you ask?” Gustus asked instead, keeping his tone even and his dark eyes kind.

Marie narrowed her eyes at the man, looking away again a moment later and pressing her lips together. How could she find out who else still kept one of her braids? She longed to take the braid from the table and feel it between her fingers. She had mourned the loss of her hair and the red bands, although she did not understand why.

“I must have meant something to you…” Marie finally said lowly, still averting her eyes and grinding her teeth together. She was frustrated with herself that she had answered the man at all. She did not even know, who he was. He did match the description of the commander’s closest personal guard, but she could not be sure without confirmation.

“You still do, Marie” Gustus emphasised honestly and he calmly met the girl’s startled gaze.

“The queen said no one…” Marie whispered, trailing off quickly and looking away again. Confusion and turmoil evident on her expression.

“Queen Nia lied to you, Marie” Gustus said in a steady tone waiting until the girl met his gaze again “She must have told you a lot of lies.”

Marie’s lips thinned visibly and anger flashed through her grey eyes “The queen cares for me” she defended Nia instantly.

Gustus sighed under his breath. It was obvious that Marie would not believe him, no matter what he said at the moment. “You wanted to know who else still has one of your braids…” he started, trying to steer the girl’s attention away from the queen. Once Marie’s grey eyes clearly showed her interest and curiosity, Gustus continued “Anya and Lexa both carry one with them at all times. Alira also has been given one.”

Confusion and doubt flashed over Marie’s features quickly at the inclusion of the commander’s name. “Who is Alira?” Marie asked instead after the unfamiliar name.

“Alira is Lexa’s personal handmaid” Gustus explained “She used to bring you honey cakes for your meals, because you enjoyed them so much”.

Marie frowned slightly. She remembered that Anya had told her about the fact that she had previously enjoyed her tea immensely sweet as well, so it would make sense that she had liked sweet treats too. The queen had not allowed her any form of treats and Marie wondered why she had been allowed to indulge here. But she nodded in silent acknowledgment of the man’s explanation.

“What is your name?” she finally asked, feeling stupid for having to ask in the first place. But she wanted to link a name to her thoughts and not just a face.

“Gustus” the burly man answered in a kind tone, his eyes shortly showing what Marie thought to be sorrow.

Something Ontari had said, still nagged at her mind. The man seemed honest and his name matched to the commander’s personal guard, which would explain why they even had contact in the past, so he should be able to confirm what Ontari had implied.

“Would I have ….” Marie started to ask, but stopped the question before she could have fully formed it.

“You can ask whatever you want” Gustus reassured the girl, keeping his expression open and kind.

“Would I have killed the commander?” Marie asked, gazing into the man’s dark eyes inquiringly.

“Not willingly, no” Gustus immediately answered in the negative. He hoped it was a sign that Marie was thinking about her orders from Nia before blindly trying to fulfil them, now that her initial plan had been circumvented.

“Mmh…” Marie muttered, obviously deeply in thought now and her gaze was fixed on the wall again, looking away from Gustus. She was internally debating, if she could believe anything he said, or not. The fact that he had carried one of her braids with him, made him somehow trustworthy in her mind. But that he proclaimed the queen to be lying, almost nulled that again.

They sat in silence for some time. Marie had nothing to say to the man and although Gustus looked as if he wished to say a lot to her, the burly guard kept his lips sealed. The sorrow Marie thought to be lingering in his dark eyes annoyed her beyond end and she hoped he would leave soon.

Her wish was granted when Anya returned an unknown time later. The general nodded to Gustus and the guard stood up from his place at the table, biding them both goodbye by inclining his head mutely, Marie did not reciprocate the gesture.

“You are attending a meeting with me now” Anya proclaimed, to which Marie frowned in confusion. “You are still the commander’s second, even though you do not remember that at the moment.”

Marie nodded with a cautious expression. It was probable that she had already sat in on meeting before. She had not expected to see the commander so soon, she had thought that the general would keep her far away from Lexa kom Trikru.

Anya had noticed the fact that Marie must have searched through her belongings judging from their state and her brown eyes narrowed slightly. Abby had said that Marie needed clear rules, so she could just start with establishing such. The general sat down opposite of Marie which only deepened the girl’s frown.

“Let me make a few things clear to you now” Anya addressed the girl in a strict tone “I do not ever want to see again that you have searched through my things. If you need something that has not been provided to you, you are to ask for it and not try to sneak around.”

Marie nodded and her grey eyes trailed to the daggers she had found and were still lying on the cupboard, it was obvious that the general had also seen the weapons.

“You are not to carry a weapon within the tower” Anya added her brown eyes hard. That was something they would not be open to discuss, so long as they could not trust the girl letting her be armed was a potential danger. “You will have excess to weapons on the training pits, but nowhere else. You will not be pleased with the consequences if I find you hiding one”. Her tone had gotten almost harsh at the end.

Marie’s grey eyes widened visibly and she quickly nodded her agreement.

“Until you have settled back in, you are to be at my side, at all times” Anya explained, her voice serious and unyielding.

Marie’s eyes narrowed slightly. It was obvious that it meant in other words, that she was not trusted in the moment. So, she would be nothing more then a prisoner here as well.

“I am sure that more will be added to that list later on” Anya interrupted the girl’s line of thought “And now, come” the general ordered and stood up again.

Marie followed the woman out of the room. She noticed Gustus standing in front of the doors to another chamber, so it was reasonable to think that the commander lived there.

“Come!” Anya addressed her charge again, voice sharper, when she noticed the girl lingering behind and staring to the commander’s quarters.

Marie did not familiar with the halls of the tower, although she reasoned with herself that she probably had been familiar with them in the past. “Have we lived here?” she finally asked the general on their way.

Anya shortly glanced at the girl and nodded in confirmation, but she did not elaborate as they entered the throne room now.

Marie obediently followed Anya inside, but she felt her eyes drawn to the throne. It looked totally different from the queen’s throne, but something of the twisted branches, with blades imbedded in them, of this throne seemed familiar. She did not recognize anyone of those who were already standing inside the room. She recognized the banners of the clans, but simply because the queen had taught them to her, she also noticed that the Azgeda banner had been removed and a chair remained empty. The only banner she did not recognize was that of what she assumed to be Skykru, the young man sitting on the chair there was unfamiliar to her as well, although he smiled kindly to her once their eyes connected, Marie looked away again quickly.

She wondered internally why she was to attend meetings, if they did not trust her at the moment. But her thoughts were cut short, when a bald man suddenly proclaimed the arrival of the commander of the blood.

Marie’s grey eyes followed the woman’s arrival in interest, trying to spot the malice Nia had predicted to be within the woman’s features.

“We are gathered here today because of the return of my second” the commander shortly looked over to Marie again “And the return of Ontari kom Azgeda.”

The ambassadors had started to mutter between themselves, it had only been rumoured that both girls had returned to the capitol until now.

Lexa nodded to Titus and the flamekeeper motioned to a guard to retrieve Ontari. The Ice Nation nightblood had been made to wait in another hall, until she was called in front of the ambassadors.

It was obvious pretty quickly that the ambassadors expected the commander to execute Ontari and Marie felt a small sliver of fear for the older girl. They may not be friends, but Ontari had been kind to her and tried to help her and she did not wish for her death.

“Ontari kom Azgeda will pledge herself to me officially as one of my novitiates” Lexa proclaimed over the muttering, which instantly died down.

Marie followed the proceedings silently, she felt Anya watching herself from time to time, as if to gauge her reactions.

Ontari walked into the throne room with a straightened back and her head held high. She had been allowed to bath and a handmaid had made her hair. She had also been given new clothing as it seemed.

The nightbloods eyes softened visibly once she looked at Marie, although the younger girl barely showed any outward reaction to her arrival.

Ontari recited the words the flamekeeper had intoned into her the previous night and she meant every word of them.

Lexa had to silence the ambassadors after Ontari finished her pledge and the commander had accepted it. It was obvious that almost half of them was not satisfied with the solution to let the nightblood remain unharmed.

“Ontari has pledged herself to me now” Lexa emphasised, voice sharp and eyes hard “She is born with the blood of the commander and she has been the one to return my second to my side”.

The last part prompted new muttering to break out instantly and Lexa silenced them again. Ontari was motioned over to a group of children of varying ages, Marie had not truly noticed yet.

What the meeting dealt with now, prompted a frown from Marie, the commander and the clans were preparing a war against Ice Nation.


	160. Chapter 160

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 159  
> Abby explains how they will need to handle Marie now. Marie is left alone with Gustus, who she does not remember. She accompanies Anya to a meeting, where Ontari pledges herself to the commander.

Chapter 160

Marie left the meeting together with Anya, feeling utterly confused.

The commander had not met with what the queen had told her beforehand. After the ambassadors had been dismissed, a few complainers had been allowed inside of the throne room and Marie had watched on with a frown how the commander had handled them. She had not seen something like that while she had been with the queen. Or in fact she had seen someone trying to complain to the queen, apparently his family was starving, but the response of the queen had been his execution and sending back his head to his family.

She had felt the commander’s gaze falling on herself several times during the meeting, but she had sat too far away from the commander to be able to truly look into her eyes.

In addition, Marie had also felt that some of the children, who Anya had told her were all potential candidates to become commander after Lexa, had watched her intently. She had seen that Ontari had been motioned to join them, after she had bowed before the commander. She thought that one of the older children, a blonde boy in particular, was somehow familiar to her, but there was nothing definite.

Anya guided her out of the tower and Marie followed her in silence.

The reactions of the people wo recognized her were still the same. Awe and surprise were obvious on their faces, most inclined their heads, while some others even bowed before her. Marie furrowed her brow, but she nodded back to them cautiously.

Anya pulled the girl out of her thoughts, once they reached the training pits. The general handed Marie two light swords, the weapons the girl had shown most promise in.

Marie eyed the blades mutely a slight frown on her face. The royal guard of the queen had made her fight with only one sword and rarely offered her anything else. Still, it felt oddly familiar as she closed her fingers around the handles of the swords.

Anya had specifically chosen this set of blades. It had been the ones Lexa had had made for Marie and the girl had already trained with them a few times before Echo had brought her to Nia. Lexa and she had agreed that they needed to evaluate Marie’s skills as a warrior anew now. But not just her skills were of interest. The girl had previously been more of a cautious fighter and not been particularly inclined to violence, but her characteristics might have changed as well.

It was obvious that Marie was slightly confused to be faced with Anya herself and not one of the other seconds being trained on the training pits, but she did not give voice to her confusion.

While Anya had to hold back a lot during training with Marie in the past, she did have to be more careful with upholding her own guard against the girl now. The child’s skills had improved tremendously.

Before, Marie had hesitated in causing actually wounds during training, always taking down her weapons at the first signs of blood. But now the girl did only stop, when ordered to. Marie did not even wince, when Anya’s sword bit into her upper arm.

“You have improved a lot” Anya remarked once she ordered Marie to put down her weapons, efficiently ending the training session.

Marie handed the blades over to the general, inclining her head in acknowledgment.

Anya frowned slightly. It unnerved her how expressionless the girl kept her features now, even her grey eyes had remained cold and empty.

“Has anything felt familiar to you?” the general asked while storing away the weapons.

Marie glanced up at the Trikru woman before she said “I think I distinctly recognize one of the older male nightbloods…”

“Go on” Anya prompted the girl gently. Abby had said that every memory the girl regained, was a step in the right direction.

“He was blonde” Marie answered “Ontari stood next to him later” she added as a better explanation.

“You mean Aden” Anya told her charge. All of the nightbloods had taken a liking to Marie, maybe with the slight exception of Kato, but she had been closer with some of the others.

“Have I trained with these before?” Marie asked after a moment of silence, glancing back at the weapon rack. She had noticed that Anya was the only one, who had taken something from this rack.

Anya nodded “They have been made particularly for you” she explained.

“They feel familiar as well” Marie added forlornly.

Anya nodded again, she had hoped for more specific memories to come back to Marie, but it was probably better than nothing, that she had felt anything at all.

“Have I spent a lot of time here?” Marie asked suddenly, looking around the training pits with a thoughtful expression.

“That depends on your definition of “a lot of time”” Anya answered. The girl’s training had been interrupted by illnesses and injuries too often for her liking. Added together it was reasonable to assume that Marie had spent much more time within the commander’s quarters during her time in Polis, than on the training pits.

Marie frowned slightly at the vague answer, but she did not inquire more in depth.

“I want to show you something” Anya told her charge and motioned her to follow her again. Marie nodded mutely and fell into step slightly behind the general.

Anya did not comment on the apparent space Marie left between them although she had to keep the frown from her features with force. Abby had suggested to try to bring Marie to different places, where they know the girl had enjoyed to spend time before and what had come to the general’s mind immediately had been the stables.

Lexa had also said that keeping Risha confined within her quarters was getting more and more difficult with the hour, so they had planned to reunite the wolf with her human in the evening, as Lexa had wanted to be present as well. They had decided that Lexa would not attempt to spend time with their charge alone in public for now, although it was apparent the commander longed to reacquaintance herself with the girl as well.

Marie tried to keep track of the ways they walked, she doubted she would be let out of sight anytime soon, but it could still come in handy later if she knew her way around. She frowned slightly, when the general led her into stables.

Two horses, who stood next to each other in their boxes, seemed to recognize her though. With a deepening frown, Marie stepped closer to the huge creatures.

Anya stayed back a step. She hoped that the commander’s horses truly recognized Marie, she herself rarely touched the beasts, only Lexa was able to truly handle them, without the constant danger of being bitten, kicked or stomped. Her own horse had been placed within this stable as well and the brown mare neighed in greeting.

Cautiously Marie stretched out her fingers and she gently let the tips of her fingers run over the muzzle of the black mare. A slight smile played around her mouth and her voice was tinted with wonder “I remember their names…”

Anya was barely able to decipher the girl’s whispered words, but once she did, she felt relieve course through her veins; Marie was remembering more things.

Marie’s face was scrunched up in confusion, as she vaguely remembered meeting _Sontam_ for the first time. “The commander …” she started, trying to sort through her memories “…she allowed me to visit with them…” her words sounded more as a question.

Anya nodded with a faint smile on her lips. All of them were aware that Marie desperately needed to remember positive memories associated with Lexa, or keeping her as the commander’s second could prove to become a disaster.

The commander’s white mare neighed in obvious complaint at being ignored. Marie chuckled under her breath, a small smile dancing within her grey eyes “Yeah, yeah, stop being so jealous” she chided the warhorse, but scratched its nose with her other hand.

Anya’s own mare whinnied in obvious discontent at being ignored by Marie and the girl’s smile still remained as she stepped over to the general’s horse and greeted it as well.

Anya watched the girl’s antics in silence. As it looked now, she expected Marie to wish to spend a lot of time with the horses from now, the girl looked remotely content and relaxed, although her smile froze slightly when she caught the general watching her every move.

“You can come and visit them, whenever you wish” Anya offered lightly.

Marie looked over to the general in obvious surprise. “Alone?” she asked suspicion colouring her tone strongly.

Anya’s lips thinned slightly. Her instincts told her not to trust the girl on her own right now, Abby had advised to keep her supervised at all times as well, but Marie had been allowed to come here before as well and they were supposed to treat her as normal as possible at the same time. The general contemplated her answer carefully “You may come here on your own, with the condition that you let me or the commander know that you are going here. If you tell us that you want to come here, you go here without any detours and return in such a way as well.”

Marie frowned slightly in thought, but she nodded in acknowledgment. Internally she was confused why the general was offering her such a gesture of trust at all. It would probably be not too hard to get out of the tower without anyone noticing, if she truly wanted to. She doubted that the queen would have offered her the same kind of freedom though, there she had not been allowed to take a single step without the queen’s explicit order to take it.

The conversation she had had with the commander, when the woman had caught her within the warhorses’ paddock, was still circling through her mind. The woman had been oddly friendly and soft-spoken towards her, but they had not seemed particularly close. The woman had offered her the usage of her first name, something Marie was completely sure the queen would have never done, but she had not known her name back then.

Marie tried to concentrate hard on what had happened directly before or after that particular conversation, but the only thing she achieved was the beginning of a headache nagging between her eyes with a vicious insistence.

Anya watched anger and frustration flash over the girl’s face and she sighed under her breath, she felt oddly unprepared to reassure the child. “Marie, you have regained another memory, there is no need to strain yourself like that”.

Marie ground her teeth together visibly and her nod of acknowledgment was curt. Tears seemed to glisten in her grey eyes, before she looked away, took a few deep breaths and her expression closed off once again.

The queen’s words about the commander still rang loudly within her mind, but they already started to contrast strongly with her regained memories, even though she only had regained one clear memory of the commander so far. She had been completely sure that the queen truly had had her best interest in mind, it had not even crossed her mind, that the queen could have lied to her. Gustus’ words proclaiming exactly that, repeated themselves in her thoughts, should she heed them any mind?

The paddock had not looked to be within Polis, it had looked as if they had been in a smaller village instead, but Marie could not remember where they had been, or they had been there.

It dawned on her, that she did not only remember a single memory linked to the warhorses. The conversation she remembered with the commander had not contained their names, so she must have learned them later.

“What exactly do you remember?” Anya asked her charge, trying to divert her attention. She had not been present when Lexa had first spoken with the child about the horses, so she would not be able to recognize if anything was still missing from that memory.

“She asked me about the schooling system on the Ark” Marie remarked, face once again scrunched up in thought “She told me, how early she started her training. I remember thinking, that I would never be able to catch up. I was upset because of that and then you collected me” Her memory stopped there “…I think for dinner or something”.

Anya nodded “Yes. You were quite and broody for hours until you told me, what it was that was bothering you”.

Marie frowned, not remembering telling the general about her worries “I can’t remember that…”

“It will probably come back to you” Anya reassured the girl with a hopeful tone.

Marie remembered that Ontari had told her that she had been very close to the general and the commander before she lost her memory. Right now, she could not imagine confiding to the hard Trikru woman. The only one she had even remotely told anything personal in her time with the queen had been Ontari and she suddenly longed to speak with the older girl again.

“Can I visit Ontari again?” Marie finally asked after long moments of silently contemplating if to ask or not. The general had allowed her before, but that did not mean, she would be allowed again.

Anya nodded with another sigh, Abby had predicted that Marie might feel inclined to spend time with the older nightblood girl and had strongly advised them on allowing the contact. “Do you remember the way to her room?” the general asked.

Marie thought for a moment, but shook her head. She guessed that she would have been able to find it with some trial and error, but the general had asked her to speak honestly to her. She had not been mistreated since arriving in the capitol, the general had reassured her, that she would never have to fear a hand raised against herself in anger as punishment, but Marie found that hard to believe. Still, she instinctively wished to please the woman, who seemed to be her primary caretaker for now.

“Once you remember your way to her room, you can visit her on the same condition that goes for the stables” Anya added after a moment of hesitation. The Ice Nation nightblood had proven herself by the pledge she had made to Lexa and her compassion for Marie was too honest to be faked either.

Surprise was evident on the child’s face when she looked up at the general, but genuine gratitude flashed through her grey eyes as well.

Anya knew that it would be imperative for them to regain Marie’s trust gradually, so she thought it to be a step in the right direction. Internally the general hoped that Marie would not need to return to TonDC or the Ark to help her in regaining her memory, now that they were preparing for war, such a trip could not be made right now. But taking the girl with them, once they left Polis to lead the army to Azgeda, was highly risky as well. None of them could predict how Marie would react, if she was faced once again with queen Nia, even Abby had been hesitant to make a prediction.

Their way back into the tower passed in silence, but Marie nodded in gratitude to the general once they reached the floor of the prisoners.

Ontari looked slightly startled for a second at their arrival, but her dark eyes flashed with understanding at the general’s imploring gaze. The nightblood would not let Marie do something reckless which she would regret later and she would not let her run away as well.

Ontari was even more surprised when she heard the general’s footsteps clinking away from her door.

“You look troubled” Ontari observed after long moments of silence, the girl had looked ready to bolt at any second and she had kept her voice soft and light.

Marie had stood within her room, gazing at the wall, as if she was miles away with her thoughts. The girl startled visibly “I start to regain memories…” she said.

“That is good” Ontari surmised with a nod. Marie still did not look changed from the way she had acted under the queen, so she doubted that the younger girls had regained many memories yet.

Marie told her what she remembered without being prompted to, it even sounded as if the girl needed to retell it desperately.

“If you came here to ask if your memory is true, I cannot help you there” Ontari said, once the younger girl’s voice had trailed off. “We had not known each other back then” the nightblood added when she noticed the apparent confusion within Marie’s eyes.

But Marie shook her head “I know … It had not been in Polis … I do not know where, but it was not Polis. I remember you said, we met in Polis” the girl countered with a slight hint of annoyance.

“What is so troubling to you about that memory then?” Ontari inquired softly. She had learned already that pressuring the younger girl for answers did not always work. But the girl had sought her out, so it was obvious she wished to talk to her.

When Marie remained silent for long moments, Ontari sighed, maybe her assumptions had been wrong about the reason for the girl’s presence.

A Skykru doctor had been to see her a few hours prior. Ontari had been startled by her appearance, but the woman had not come on her own, the commander had been there briefly and explained that the woman was here to help Marie, so Ontari had listened to what she had had to say. The woman had asked her if she had been subjected to the same treatment as Marie and Ontari had been sure then that the queen truly had done something worse to the younger child during the nights of her absence; she had quickly denied that the same had ever occurred to her. The Skykru doctor had proclaimed that Marie might feel most secure in her presence, as she had witnessed and experienced some of the same trauma. Ontari highly doubted that to be the case, they had not grown particularly close again since she arrived back at the queen, but maybe she had been wrong in her assessment. She had reassured the woman, that she of course wished to aid in Marie’s recovery and she had patiently listened to her advice on how to interact with the girl in the immediate future.

“You can sit, you know” Ontari offered in a kind tone, sitting upright on the bed and thus making room for the younger girl. She motioned between the free space on the bed and a chair, giving the younger girl options to choose from.

Marie looked unsure and indecisive for a moment, the mask of calm and self-assurance cracking slightly, before she sat down on the free space of the bed. She did not feel threatened by the dark-haired girl and she knew that Ontari had taken a few lashings from the queen, just to spare her.

“You do not need to tell me, what is troubling you, if you do not want to” Ontari reassured, giving the younger girl a soft smile in acknowledgment after she sat down beside her. There was still enough space between them, so that their bodies were not touching, but the chair would have been even closer from her. “I am here to listen, if you wish to discuss something though. Otherwise we can just sit in silence, whatever you want” Ontari added, as she remembered what the Skykru doctor had advised.


	161. Chapter 161

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 160  
> Anya trains with Marie and shows her to the stables. Marie remembers meeting Lexa’s horse for the first time and the conversation she had with the commander. She visits Ontari again.

Chapter 161

They had sat some time in total silence, the only sound their quite breaths between them. Ontari would not have described Marie’s company as uncomfortable, but it was obvious in the deep tension holding Marie’s body upright, that the younger girl was uncomfortable at least.

Ontari was internally debating if it would be better to simply send the girl from her room and back to the general or if she should try once again to get Marie to speak about why she had sought her out in the first place. On the other hand, she had promised to try to help the younger girl and if her simple solitude was, what Marie needed right now, Ontari would continue sitting with her in silence for however long Marie wanted to stay.

Marie was surprised that Ontari did not press her to speak up again, but she was deeply thankful to the older girl for offering her time.

Marie did not know, why she was feeling so lost and insecure all of a sudden. It had been so easy to be with the queen. She had always known what was required of her and she had not been needed to think about anything. She had been so sure, that assassinating the commander would be what she needed to do for the queen and it confused her even more, that she was slowly starting to question this order.

Ontari had looked sincerer when she had pledged her vow to Lexa, than Marie could remember her looking at the queen. Her dark eyes had always been carefully blank in the presence of the queen, while they were expressive now, as if the older girl regarded it safer to show her emotions here than with the queen.

The longer Marie sat next to Ontari, she felt herself relax gradually over time. She started fiddling with the hem of her shirt, lost within her own thoughts.

“I don’t know why I am feeling so …” Marie started to say, but trailed off again without finishing her thought.

“Lost?” Ontari suggested softly, keeping her expression open and watching the younger girl carefully. She could fathom what Marie was going through, at least partly.

“Yeah” Marie nodded after surprise flashed over her features.

Ontari let her hand brush over the younger girl’s outstretched arm softly, as she tried to summaries her experiences after being brought back to Polis. She noticed how Marie tensed again after the first subtle touch, but just as she was thinking about increasing the space between them again, Marie finally relaxed again.

“I have been brought up under the queen’s tutelage, after I have been snatched away from my parents…” Ontari retold, what she had already told Marie weeks ago.

“Do you remember them?” Marie interrupted her curiously.

Ontari shook her head slightly “If I try to really hard, I can remember faint details of them, but nothing complete”.

Marie nodded “I wonder, how my parents have been…” she said faintly.

Ontari smiled slightly. They had never spoken in depths about the girl’s early childhood and she did not know if the commander or the general might know more about that.

“I was younger than you were, when I was brought to Nia” Ontari continued calmly, diverting Marie’s attention quickly.

A flash of horror ghosted over the girl’s face at that thought.

“I became strong, just like you did” Ontari surmised with a sad note to her tone “I have suffered under the queen’s fists and blows just like you did. But I have been with her for years. I did believe within the accuracy of her words, just like you are doing now. But I had to recognize that Nia was not right in everything. I have been nothing more than her loyal puppet.”

Marie looked confused and deeply conflicted at hearing the nightblood girl speak so bluntly and clearly contradicting everything which she had been made to believe under the queen’s violent force.

“But she cares for me… does she not?” Marie asked, voice faint and quivering.

“The queen only cares for herself” Ontari countered almost sourly, but she kept her expression kind and understanding.

“And you think the commander does not?” Marie asked after long moments. The girl had subconsciously started to lean closer to Ontari and their arms were touching now.

“You have seen how the commander handles complaints of her people today” Ontari reasoned calmly.

Marie nodded thoughtfully.

“I know how deeply Lexa and Anya both care for you” Ontari reassured the younger girl. Marie might not have been ready to hear and process such before, but she doubted the girl would believe the sentiment on the first occasion.

Disagreement appeared on the younger girl’s features, doubt easily to identify within her grey eyes.

“You have not seen how they reacted to the news of Echo bringing you to Nia” Ontari explained after a moment. “They both mourned for you” Ontari added “You do not mourn someone, you do not care for”.

Marie listened to the nightbloods words and she remembered Gustus’ words from earlier “Gustus had one of the braids, the queen had cut of from my hair. He said that Anya and the commander carry one as well with them”. The girl’s voice sounded even slightly awed, as if she could not fathom this care of kind.

Ontari’s dark eyes were deeply saddened as she gazed down at the girl’s blonde head, she knew that Marie would have truly lost the understanding of what love was supposed to be. She could not see Marie’s face anymore, as the younger girl was leaning it against her shoulder at the moment.

“I am sure that both of them would have kept one of your braids” Ontari agreed instantly “But I doubt that they have nothing else as keepsakes”. She recognized the girl’s dark green coat which must have been kept in store in Polis.

“But what about the queen now…?” Marie asked, peering up at the older girl. Her features still portrayed her confusion and sense of helpless floating.

Ontari quickly shook her head, as she wound one arm around the girl’s smaller body, giving her a tight one-armed hug “Forget about her, Marie” she intoned seriously.

“I don’t think I can” Marie said, voice quivering strongly and a shiver ran through her whole frame “I can’t forget the feeling of her fingers …” the child’s voice gave out and from the shaking of Marie’s body, Ontari was sure, that she had begun to cry.

Ontari tightened her arm around the girl and switched her position, so that she could truly hug the younger girl tightly to her own body “It is alright, Marie, she cannot hurt you any longer” she tried to sooth the girl.

Even after the queen had kept Marie with her overnight, Ontari had not seen her cry even once. The girl had been visibly shaken and upset, but she had not responded to Ontari trying to offer her any comfort at all. She had only closed herself off completely from the older girl as her response. So, she desperately hoped that Marie opening up to her was a sign of progress. Ontari had no idea on what to really tell the younger girl, nothing would ever make right what been done to her.

Marie was crying in earnest now and she had fisted her hands into Ontari’s shirt. Ontari kept on stroking over her hair and whispered reassurances to the younger girl, promising her that they would not ever let the queen touch her ever again. Ontari was certain the general and the commander would kill Nia with their bare hands, before they ever let their charge into the vicinity of Nia. Truthfully, Ontari was relatively sure, she would be aiding them and not the queen. A small part of her mind had not wanted to accept that Nia would truly stoop so low and fought to keep a small sliver of admiration for the queen within her mind.

It seemed to take forever before Marie’s tears finally ran dry and only slight sobbing remained. When Marie straightened again, a blush coloured her cheek at the fact that she had broken down like that.

Ontari squeezed the girl’s shoulders reassuringly, before she let go of her completely “It is alright, Marie, nothing to be ashamed of”.

Marie hastily whipped at her cheeks, trying to erase the visible signs of her tears and her weakness. She wanted to believe to Ontari’s words, she desperately wanted to believe her, but she was so confused.

“Thank you …” Marie said in a faint soft tone. She was grateful that the nightbloods dark eyes were free of judgement, but only showed honest compassion.

Ontari smiled at the younger girl reassuringly “You can come and see me, whenever you wish”.

Marie nodded against a sudden lump in her throat and turned abruptly, leaving the room without another word.

She felt the guards watching her, but no one approached her or intercepted her on her way. The way back to the top level of the tower was simple enough that she did not need any help to find back to the general’s quarters.

Marie stood in front of the doors indecisively for a moment, as she glanced in the direction of the commander’s quarters, something subconsciously pulled her in the direction, but Anya had told her firmly to return to her quarters after leaving Ontari. She hovered in front of the door for another moment, the guards were already eying her, as she raised her fist to knock and let it fall down to her side again, several times.

Marie startled strongly, when Anya suddenly appeared behind her “There is no need to knock to enter the quarters we share” the general told her nonchalantly, while opening the door and getting in.

Marie watched the woman mutely, a slight blush on her cheeks as she shuffled inside after her.

Anya noticed how the girl’s eyes looked suspiciously puffy, as if she had cried. She itched to prop the girl for what she had spoken about with Ontari. Although irrational she felt a slight surge of jealousy for the Ice Nation nightblood, it was apparent Marie trusted her more deeply at the moment and she did not know, how to fix that. She should probably be more grateful that it seemed that their charge was starting to confide into anyone.

Before Anya had made up her mind on how to ask Marie about her conversation with Ontari, a knock on the door announced the arrival of handmaidens. The general had ordered for a bath to be prepared for Marie. The girl had always liked the relaxation of a bath and had argued more than once with her and Lexa to let her soak in the steaming water for much longer than necessary to clean herself. She had teased her previous second about the fact that her one indulgence in enjoying extensive bathing seemed to have already rubbed off on the girl.

Marie watched the handmaidens carry several buckets filled with steaming water inside of their bathroom. She let her gaze travel over every single one of them, trying to recognize one of them and secretly hoping to see the green-eyed woman again, but she did not recognize a single one out of them.

She tried to subdue the frown wanting to settle on her features. Marie thought that she should have just stayed with Ontari until someone would have collected her for dinner. She had noticed that a second bed had been added into the quarters together with a chest for clothes at its foot, so Marie assumed that she now had her own bed. The knowledge of having her own sleeping space now calmed her slightly, although she felt uncomfortable with the thought of the general taking a bath now that she was present.

Marie remembered how the general had assured her in the morning that no one here expected of her to “make them feel good” as she phrased it within her mind. Although Anya’s words had been delivered in a sincere tone, Marie still subconsciously doubted their truth. She had also reinforced her earlier words, no one would be punishing her in any physical form within the tower and punishments would only be decided by the general, the commander and the flamekeeper, she still had to be re-introduced to.

Marie was not sure yet, what she could truly believe in now. The royal guard of the queen had never been friendly or gentle with her, their trainings had been harsh, but their punishments for failure had mostly consisted of denied food and extra training, a slap at most. The queen herself had introduced her to a lashing as a form of punishment. Marie truly hoped that the general had spoken the truth and she would never be subjected to one ever again.

Training with Anya had been different from training with the royal guard. They had rarely cared if they had caused her injury and she had only been looked after, if she had been unable to stand up again or could not hold a weapon any longer. The general seemed to have stopped most of her attacks after she had drawn blood and the wounds she had gotten during the training were all solely superficial and she barely felt them at all.

Marie was pulled out of her thoughts by Anya addressing her in an even tone “Your bath is ready…” a slight tease seemed to be hidden within her brown eyes as her voice trailed off.

Marie frowned for a moment in apparent confusion, had she missed the general taking her own bath altogether? The woman’s hair still looked slightly in disarray from training and had most definitely not been washed yet.

“Abby has given me a special kind of salve to be rubbed into your back after your bath. There is an oil in it as well, it should help with the scarring” the general explained, ignoring her charge’s confusion and gently giving her a push into the direction of the bathroom.

Marie wondered why the woman’s hand on her back had not felt unwelcome, but she went into the bathroom in silence.

She felt the presence of the general follow her inside of the room and she had to take a rather deep breath before she started to disrobe. She would have felt more comfortable if Anya would have stepped out of the room, but it looked as if she planned on staying with her.

“I want to look at your wounds” Anya explained calmly when she noticed the girl hesitating before taking of her shirt.

Marie frowned slightly, but nodded with a cautious expression “They are barely scratches” she insisted with a sullen tone.

Anya raised a brow questioningly at the girl, but when Marie remained silent, she crouched down in front of the girl and gently took one of her arms into her hands, turning the limp around to better inspect the grace on her upper arm. The skin did not look inflamed yet and it had obviously not bled for long, it would scab over quickly.

Marie watched the woman inspect every little scratch she had acquired during training with a constant frown on her features. A part of her felt, dare she name it, touched at the apparent display of care, while another part of her felt slightly annoyed to be treated like a child, unable to care for herself. Something else which ghosted through her mind was the question of why she did not feel her skin crawl now? She was naked in front of the general and although the woman was touching her, it felt entirely different and somehow oddly familiar as well.

The general even held her hand as she climbed into the large bathing tube, probably to keep her from slipping on the wet metal surface and hurting herself. She guessed that she could have done without the help, but it somehow felt good to be cared for like this as well.

“Anya…” Marie addressed the general in a soft and unsure tone.

The woman had stayed in the bathroom and taken position behind her charge. Marie’s hair was in a terrible condition, slightly knotted and dull, as if it had not been cared for at all. Anya had questioned herself, if it was the right choice to stay behind and help the girl with her hair. Marie would undoubtedly have been able to give it a proper wash on her own, but she had already done so quiet a number of times and it had felt like a good opportunity to show to the girl that accepting help and physical closeness was alright and did not have to have bad consequences.

“Yes?” Anya asked, tone soft and inquiring. She had already wetted the girl blonde hair after detangling the old braids, which had taken a rather long time. The bathroom smelled strongly of the soap, Marie had enjoyed the most before. The general was working a mixture of different oils into the girl’s blonde hair, attempting to get it to shine again. It had felt more like a heap of straw instead of soft locks.

“I spoke with Ontari earlier…” the girl started to say, but trailed off again.

Anya made a noise of acknowledgment, wondering why the girl felt the need to state such an obvious thing in the first place, but she guessed that Marie had actually intended to say something else entirely.

“…she said that we have been or are the queen’s puppets…” Marie’s voice trailed off again. The confusion and the reluctance to believe in such a sentiment was evident in her shaking tone.

Anya’s fingers stilled for a second, before she continued their movements through Marie’s blonde hair, which had usually calmed her before. She took a moment to think of a fitting answer, but Marie continued to speak before she finished thinking.

“…she said, I should forget her” Marie said and although Anya could not see the girl’s features from her position, she was sure they were twisted into a deep frown.

“… she said, she cared for me…” Marie continued, before Anya could agree with Ontari’s piece of advice.

Now it was Anya’s time to frown. She doubted that Ontari would have worded such a sentiment in the past tense, both Lexa and she were sure that Marie was the sole reason for the nightblood to take the risk of returning to the capitol. Anger coursed through her mind at the thought that the sentiment should apply to the queen. “Nia only cares for herself” she did not quiet manage to ban the growl from her tone.

Anya was slightly surprised by the snort that pulled from Marie’s lips.

“Ontari said the same thing…” Marie breathed back and although she still sounded unsure and confused, a sense of humour seemed to ring within her words.

Anya carefully rinsed out the oils out of the girl’s blonde hair. She was satisfied with herself, Marie’s body looked relaxed and she had stopped flinching under her touch completely. A slight and shy smile seemed to ghost over the girl’s lips as she accepted a towel from the general, before she stepped out of the bathing tube.

“I will apply the ointment after you have dried off” Anya said, before she turned around to step out of the room and give the girl a few moments of privacy.

Marie’s soft voice stopped the general in her tracks. “Do you truly care for me…?” the girl’s tone was so low it was barely distinguishable, but her grey eyes seemed desperate for a positive answer.

Anya had turned back around immediately and she crouched down in front of the girl, ignoring the slightly startled look flashing over her features for a second, she gently cupped the girl’s cheeks with her hands “I love you very much, Marie”. To give words to such a sentiment still felt slightly alien to Anya, but it was clear the girl needed to hear such words now more than ever.

The first honest smile since her return appeared on Marie’s face, it was still shaky and fleeting though. “I am glad to be back” she said softly.

Anya caressed her cheek for a moment, before she cleared her throat and stood up again, repeating the order for Marie to dry off and get back into the main room, so that she could apply the ointment to the girl’s skin.


	162. Chapter 162

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to some unexpected bouts of inspiration over the last days, I have quite a number of chapters in store now, so that I can double post easily today. This chapter finally has finally the reunion with Risha. Although I think it won’t be what you all had been hoping for.
> 
> Previously in chapter 161  
> Ontari speaks with Marie and Marie opens up slightly. Ontari advises Marie to forget about Nia. Anya shares a private moment with Marie and gets closer to her again.

Chapter 162

Marie remained in the bathroom far longer than she actually needed to dry herself off. The general’s order to come back into the main room and lay down on her bed, still ringing in her ears. Although the woman had told her that she wished to apply some kind of ointment to her skin, Marie did not feel well with the concept.

Why would scars need to be treated anyway? The skin on her back had not bled for a few weeks, so everything must have been scarred over by now.

Being naked with the intent to get into a bathing tube, suddenly felt a whole world different from having to lay down naked in front of the general.

But she knew that stalling for time would probably not work forever and the general had already seen her naked when she had inspected her wounds before the bath, so Marie took a calming deep breath, straightening herself and put on a calm front, before she stepped out of the bathroom.

Anya had waited more or less patiently in their quarters for Marie to join her. She understood that the girl would probably be nervous to allow her to face her naked back. In a way it pained her more than she had expected to see that her charge did not trust her anymore. She internally contemplated if it would be better to call for one of the healers to apply the ointment, maybe Marie would feel safer with “a professional”.

But the girl appeared calm and collected as she set foot out of the bathroom. Her blonde hair was still damp and loose, it was already visible that it looked softer and shinier again. They would need to adapt the girl’s hairstyle to accommodate for the trademark red ribbons to be included in her shorter hair, which decreased the possibilities of braiding it considerably. Anya banned that train of thought from her mind, the girl’s hair would grow back over time after all.

Marie laid down on the added bed facedown and mutely stared at the general, waiting for the woman to make her first movement.

Anya cleared her throat once again, before she opened the jar of ointment and warmed some of it between her fingers.

The girls back looked horrible, huge parts of her tattoo were now nearly unrecognizable due extensive scarring. Abby was probably correct and the skin would need to be treated to remain soft or the girl could become problems with moving comfortably.

Although Marie was obviously trying hard to remain calm and not show how much the whole situation bothered her, the girl still tensed visibly as soon as the general’s fingers made contact with her skin.

Anya tried to make quick work of applying the ointment to the girl’s back and she did not pause before applying it to her upper thighs as well, asking the girl to turn around, so that she could spread some of it on her front as well. The girl’s breathing was visibly quickened and the knuckles of her fingers were wide under her skin, from the way she had clenched them to fists at her side.

“You can dress again” Anya said evenly, taking a step back and cleaning her fingers on a rag, turning her back slightly to give the girl a sense of privacy. She supressed a sigh, it was obvious the girl’s relaxation from the bath had all but vanished again.

Marie was quick to follow that order, but her movements paused once Anya spoke again.

“We will dine within the commander’s quarters” the general said firmly.

Surprise flashed over the girl’s face momentarily. Marie frowned slightly, if she truly had been her first, she would have been within her quarters before. She remembered that Lexa had already talked with her privately before, but Marie was still anxious to be faced with her again.

“Sit there” Anya directed her charge and motioned to a chair.

Marie frowned slightly at the order but complied wordlessly.

“I will do your hair” Anya explained, which only increased Marie’s frown.

“I can do my hair myself!” Marie snapped apparently angry.

Anya raised a brow inquiringly, although Abby had told them that mood swings and snappiness were to be expected, Lexa and she had agreed that they would not take an attitude from their charge. Marie would need to learn her new limits quickly and she could not be allowed to act over them in public.

Marie’s anger faded as quickly as it had surfaced and it was apparent the girl was worrying of how the general would handle insolence.

“Watch your tone, Marie” Anya reprimanded her charge in a sharp tone and the girl nodded immediately, casting her eyes down.

Anya sighed under her breath as she took a few ribbons out of a pocket in her trousers. Lexa had sent the ribbons to the general in the morning, they would need to show Marie’s place continued as the commander’s second.

Marie’s grey eyes snapped to the red ribbons, she recognized the red fabric immediately. They had been woven into her hair, before the queen had Echo cut them off.

“You will need another hairstyle now, that they are shorter, until they have grown back” Anya explained, voice still strict. Lexa and she had agreed, that she would try out something, which could still be changed later if the commander did not like what she had come up with.

After Anya had treated the girl’s blonde hair with oils, her hair was soft again to the touch and Anya did not have any difficulties to weave them into a few braids. The red ribbons contrasted starkly with her blonde shining hair and the girl’s face looked even sharper now that her hair was pulled away from her face. Anya pulled out a few strands around the girl’s forehead to slightly gentle her sharpened features again.

“All done” Anya said after a few moments of silence. Marie had sat still obediently and simply let the general work on her hair; the woman’s fingers had been much gentler than Echo’s had ben when the Ice Nation warrior had impatiently taught her on how to tame her hair.

Marie walked over to the bathroom and inspected her reflection in a huge shard of an old mirror, which had been propped up against a wall. A slight smile graced her lips, she liked how Anya had styled her hair.

Anya leaned against the door frame, watching Marie’s mannerism with amusement. It was good to see a little bit of her old self within the girl again.

“It is time to go now, Marie” Anya called the girl out of her thoughts after a few more minutes. The general felt anticipation settle in her mind, she knew how important it was that Marie would get along with Lexa without trying to kill the general. Lexa would probably be deeply disappointed as well, if the girl did not start remembering their connection soon.

It was obvious Marie was nervous as well, as the girl tried to pull up a calm and unreadable front. Although Marie had seen the commander in the meeting earlier at the same day, being invited into the commander’s private quarters seemed entirely different. She was not aware of a protocol to follow on how to treat the commander in a more private setting.

“Have I been there before?” Marie stopped Anya hesitantly, before the general could open the door to step out into the corridor.

Anya frowned slightly “If you mean within the commander’s quarters by “there”, then yes, you have” she explained and after a moment the woman added “We have lived within Lexa’s quarters for weeks”.

“But you have not been commander…” Marie contradicted with a furrowed brow. It did not make sense to her that they should have been living within the commander’s private quarters for weeks. A horrible thought flashed through her mind and she felt her breathing quicken against her will. What if the commander had demanded “services” from her, like the queen had?

Anya regarded the girl in silence for a moment, it was obvious that her thoughts must be going head over heels. She tried to put her hands onto Marie’s shoulders, trying to calm the girl’s increasing panic, but the child flinched away from her touch. “There is nothing to fear, Marie” Anya tried to reassure the girl with words “You have not done anything wrong and we are only going to dine together”.

Marie’s panic seemed to ebb away as quickly as it had surfaced, or the girl was hiding it much better after a few deep breaths.

Marie followed the general in silence through the hall and she would have liked it better, if their quarters had been farer away, which would have afforded her more time to pull herself back together.

Gustus and a man she did not recognize, she internally wondered if she had seen him before, stood post at the doors to the commander’s quarters. The burly guard sent her a friendly smile and Marie subtly inclined her head in acknowledgment.

She felt her heart hammering strongly against her chest as the doors were pulled open and the grand quarters were revealed.

Anya walked through the door without missing a beat and the general shortly bandied a look with her former second.

Although Lexa seemed to try to appear relaxed, she was anything but.

Clarke was in the bathroom, trying to keep the wolf there for at least a few minutes.

“Anya” Lexa greeted her mentor audibly, before she turned her green eyes to Marie and repeated her welcome. A slight smile graced her features and her eyes were soft.

Marie seemed to freeze in her step, as she was addressed by the commander and she instantly looked to Anya for guidance. The queen had of course not prepared her to truly interact with the commander and if she were to follow Ontari’s advice, she would forget the queen’s instructions anyway.

Scratching noises from beyond the bathroom door pulled Lexa’s attention from Marie only the beat of a second later. Her smile had faltered visibly and a surge of disappointment coursed through her veins. Lexa had hoped beyond reason that the girl would remember her as instantly as she had remembered her connection to Anya.

“Let her out, Clarke” the commander called in the direction of the bathroom and the door opened a second later.

Risha squished herself through the door before it was fully opened and the wolf instantly ran to Marie.

Marie’s eyes widened in alarm and she took a frightened step back, as a wolf approached her in a fast pace. Had the commander kept the beast here to have her killed by it?

When Marie shrieked in obvious fear of the animal, the wolf stopped directly in front of the girl. It looked as if Risha was inspecting her human with a slightly tilted head.

Marie had taken a few steps to get distance to the beast and to get closer to Anya. She hoped that her first would not let herself be killed like that.

The frown on Anya’s face made Marie pause though and the girl’s voice was barely audible as she asked “Have I known the wolf?”

She cautiously looked at the animal again from a safer distance. The wolf did not look particularly fearsome, if anything it looked as confused, as Marie was feeling.

Anya nodded with a slight sigh “She was yours” she answered the girl’s question.

Marie’s eyes widened noticeably and she fully returned her attention to the wolf now. Cautiously Marie crouched down in front of the wolf and they looked into each other’s eyes for long silent moments.

“She has grown so much…” Marie said after long moments, as a few hazy memories returned to her mind. Marie could recall finding the small cub next to its dead mother, she did not remember why she had been there or what had happened before. But she knew that Anya had told her that the commander would make a decision.

The wolf was wagging its tail at her and when Marie stretched out her fingers to let them glide through the wolf’s fur, the animal licked at them. Marie giggled slightly at the feeling of the wet tongue and something clicked in her mind again.

Marie let the wolf lick her fingers before she looked to the commander “You have let me keep her” she addressed the woman. Not dressed in the regalia of the commander, Lexa looked smaller and softer and just like any other young woman.

Risha leapt slightly forward and licked the girl’s face enthusiastically, Marie shrieked in reaction and started to giggle, lightly shoving at the wolf to get her out of her face.

Lexa and Anya shared a look, both feeling relieved to see Marie’s childishness reappear, but the moment was broken when Clarke let out an audible chuckle.

Marie tensed immediately, suddenly aware again of the three adults watching her. Her features hardened and her grey eyes dulled again.

“What do you remember about Risha?” Lexa addressed the girl in an even tone, keeping her features soft and open. The commander hoped that Marie would recall their interactions concerning Risha, while Anya had been against keeping the wolf from the beginning, she had seen no harm in it. The fact that Marie glanced to Anya, before giving an answer to her question, felt like a physical slap to Lexa.

“Just finding her as a cub, but she is older now obviously” Marie reasoned with a slight furrow to her brow “Risha is her name?”

“You have named her yourself” Anya remarked not quiet hiding the sigh from her voice.

Marie nodded, grey eyes thoughtful, but she kept on lightly stroking over Risha’s muzzle, to the wolf’s obvious pleasure.

“The food will get cold” Clarke interjected, once it became clear that Marie would simply stare at nothing in silence until someone addressed her again.

Anya nodded and motioned Marie over to the table. Alira had had a small feast prepared for Marie’s official return and the table was laden with a huge variety of dishes the girl had once liked.

It was obvious quickly that Marie was overwhelmed both with the overabundance with food and how to act now.

The girl was extremely stiff in her chair and although her outer demeanour portrayed indifference, her fingers shook slightly and her grey eyes darted between them nervously without stopping even for a second.

Although Marie’s eyes kept on returning to the commander, she seemed to orientate herself more strongly at Anya, copying what the general was eating.

Conversation was slow going around the table. Marie contributed only if she was directly asked something and her answers were curt and clipped, the girl was not unkind but obviously not willing to engage in conversation as well.

Clarke had tried in vain to keep the conversation somewhat flowing. While Lexa and Anya both were relatively comfortable in silence, it granted on the blonde’s nerves. She had watched the commander’s hopefulness vanish from her green eyes as the meal trudged on and it was no surprise to her, that Lexa excused herself quickly with the excuse of having another meeting.

Marie thought she would be relived to return to the general’s quarters, but the opposite was the case. She felt oddly dissatisfied with how the dinner had gone. Marie had hoped to get regain memories pertaining the commander, but nothing had come back to her.

Anya had bustled around the room, while Marie sat tersely on the edge of her bed, picking at the hem of her shirt.

The general regarded her charge with a frown. They had been so used to the girl’s chirpy nature, that the silence around her was more than a stark contrast.

“Get ready to sleep” Anya addressed her charge in a strict tone and watched how Marie immediately seemed to jump into action. It was obvious that the girl was not feeling at home with her anymore and Anya had no idea on how to regain her charge’s trust. Abby had said that the girl’s ability to trust anyone would probably be severely impaired after what she had suffered through.

Marie did not say a single word while she washed herself and returned into the main room, she only said a faint “good night” before lying down and turning her back to the general.

The day had been a whirlwind of emotion for Marie and the girl was exhausted, so she fell asleep quickly.

Unfortunately, she did not sleep peacefully for long, nightmares invaded her dreams after only a few short hours of rest. Marie woke with a start, gasping for air silently, shivering and drenched in a cold sweat. Her grey eyes were wide and she glanced over to the other bed quickly, praying in her mind that she had not woken the general, but Anya seemed to be asleep still.

Marie tried to calm her frantically beating heart, but her shivering seemed to only increase as the seconds ticked by and even though she pulled the furs tighter around her body, a coldness settled into her bones that could not be thawed like that.

When she started to feel sick to her stomach again, Marie cautiously set her feet on the ground, trying to still her breathing and clear her mind of the memories haunting her mind. She kept her eyes hefted on the sleeping form of the general, looking for signs that she woke her up, but she remained still.

On almost silent feet Marie sneaked through the room, she had remembered the outline and did not crash into any pieces of furniture now. She opened the door to the quarter’s with shaking fingers and so ever slowly as to not make any unnecessary sounds, Marie slipped out into the hall.


	163. Chapter 163

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another warning: This and the next chapter will again contain references to rape and also suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> Previously in chapter 162  
> Anya takes care of Marie’s skin and does her hair for her. They share a dinner with Lexa and Clarke in the commander’s quarters and Marie meets Risha again. Marie sneaks out in the dead of the night.

Chapter 163

Anya woke suddenly to the sound of the door to her quarters being closed. She shot upright in the bed, her hands automatically grabbing the dagger she kept under her pillow. She could not spot movement in the dim light falling inside from the moon, the candles had all given out already.

Anya glanced over to Marie’s bed and found it empty. She immediately stood from the bed and walked over to the bathroom, but the door was open and Marie obviously not inside.

Without even thinking to dress herself again, Anya stepped out into the corridor hurriedly, trying to locate her charge.

Her brown eyes fell down the corridor to the doors of the commander’s quarters, but a guard standing post at her own door addressed her “She just entered the elevator. We did not know…” the young man trailed off.

Anya waved him off quickly and nodded in acknowledgment. The man did not comment on her lack of decent clothing, the general was only dressed in a threadbare shirt and a pair of underwear.

Anya could her the movement of the elevator when she stood in front of the contraption. Would Marie try to run away? With a sinking heart Anya realized that none of them had even fathomed that possibility. She hoped Marie would be seeking out Ontari instead, but she still felt irritated that the girl was already not telling her on where she was going.

Anya quickly travelled the stairs to the floor which held Ontari’s room and she could spot the doors of the elevator closing again, so she hoped Marie had truly left it here. She walked into the direction of Ontari’s room slower, she wished to see what Marie had planned to do.

The guards standing in front of the Ice Nation nightblood’s doors were obviously as confused as her own guard to see the young girl in the middle of the night, but they did not deny Marie access to the door.

Marie visibly hesitated for a moment, her outstretched fist hovering in front of the door, clearly wondering if she should knock. The girl must have decided against it and let her hand fall again, before simply pushing the door open.

The guards must have seen Anya approaching, but before they could address her, the general waved them away with a dismissive gesture. Anya strained her ears against the footsteps of the retreating guards.

Ontari’s room was dark, beside for a small sliver of moonlight falling inside through the small window and Ontari startled awake, feeling someone’s presence. Her first instincts were to protect herself, so the nightblood leaped up from the bed, pressing a dagger against the throat of the intruder.

Ontari abruptly let go, when she realized that the intruder was not a grown adult, but rather Marie.

“I could have killed you!” she snapped at the younger girl, feeling slightly shocked.

“Why do you have a dagger?” Marie asked with a frown, a hand ghosting over the shallow cut Ontari had made with the blade on her throat.

Ontari lighted a small fire in the fire place, which illuminated the room quickly. She stored the dagger again under her mattress and she commented “Just because the commander let me stay, does not mean that all the others will be happy to see me alive. I am Ice Nation, Marie, and there is going to be war soon”.

Marie’s frown deepened “Someone threatened you?” she asked, worry apparent in her voice.

Ontari slightly shook her head “Not yet. But I doubt it will be long. The commander’s protection will only do so much…” her voice trailed off and she noticed how the younger girl was only dressed in a loose shirt “Does the general know you are here, Marie?”

Marie bit her lip indecisively. She had not wanted to wake the woman, she still did not know if she would be punished for waking her. She had wanted to see Ontari and not Anya. So, she shook her head “I don’t think I woke her up”.

Ontari sighed audibly under her breath “You cannot sneak away like that, Marie” she reprimanded the younger girl lightly.

“You said I could see you anytime…” Marie remarked, accusation lacing her tone and her grey eyes shone wet suspiciously.

Ontari nodded quickly and took a step closer to Marie, cautiously placing her hands on the younger girl’s shoulders. Her voice was soft and reassuring as she answered “You can, Marie. But the general will be worried, if she finds you gone”.

Marie nodded with an almost sullen expression “I want to stay…” She did not wish to return to the general’s quarters.

Ontari sighed again “Lie down” she ordered “You are freezing”.

She watched the younger girl, as she complied with her order. It was obvious Marie must have been woken by a nightmare. The young girl looked pale and sweaty, her grey eyes wide and filled with fear, a slight shaking still running through her body.

Ontari hoped she could calm the girl down and bring her back to the general’s quarters afterwards. For some reason she was sure neither the general nor the commander would appreciate it, if she kept their charge with her overnight.

Ontari cautiously climbed into the bed beside Marie, trying in vain to keep some distance between them. The bed was too small to allow for that and Ontari carefully balanced on the edge, she nearly fell over though, when Marie turned around and buried her face against her neck.

Marie herself did not quiet understand why she had sought out Ontari and seemed to need her physical closeness now. But she had remembered how the older girl had calmed her when the queen had introduced her to physical punishments and she had slept encased in Ontari’s arms. Her fears and worries had only quitted then totally and although she had not allowed the older girl to comfort her since the queen had changed, she hoped that her comfort would help her now again.

Ontari felt Marie’s body shudder against herself, as the younger girl seemed to start crying.

“Ssshh” Ontari tried to sooth the upset girl, letting her fingers comb gently through her blonde hair and stroke over her back. “You are safe now, Marie” she repeated over and over again, until Marie seemed to calm slightly.

When it looked as if the younger girl was close to falling asleep, Ontari roused her gently “Marie, you need to return to the general’s quarters” she tried to reason with the girl softly.

Marie shook her head and her hands tightened, where they were fisted into Ontari’s shirt, and her voice had a whiny quality to it as she mumbled “Don’t want to… Can’t I stay here?”

“Marie…” Ontari sighed. She did not wish to have to send the younger girl away, but she knew Marie’s place was not here.

“You don’t want me to stay….” Marie’s voice was quivering and had gotten slightly higher, as she backed out of Ontari’s arms, leaning against the cold stone wall with accusative grey eyes.

Ontari sighed again. She knew that she should probably send Marie back to the general, but she also did not wish to disappoint the trust the younger girl seemed to have in her.

“I did not say that, Marie” Ontari insisted in a caring tone “But the general will surely be worried when she finds you gone” she said trying to appeal to the girl’s reason.

“I did not want to wake her” Marie shook her head and a slight sliver of fear seemed to ghost over her features.

Ontari frowned slightly “Marie, there is no need for you to fear the general…” she said and after the beat of a second added “…nor the commander, for that matter”.

Marie nodded with a thoughtful expression, but she remained silent.

“What upset you?” Ontari inquired in a gentle tone and took the younger girl’s hand, lightly pulling on them to pull her away from the cold wall and back into the bed.

“Anya…” Marie started to say and then trailed off again.

Anya stood in front of the not completely closed door to Ontari’s quarters and carefully listened to the conversation going on between the two girls. She could not help the growing sensation of jealousy that took root in her belly as it was obvious her charge preferred Ontari’s company right now.

“What of her?” Ontari asked again, letting her fingers draw soothing circles on the girl’s hand. She was absolutely sure that the general would not have physically hurt the younger girl, so she was not too worried about Marie’s answer.

“She said she loved me…” Marie breathed out softly and her grey eyes bore into Ontari’s dark ones with a deep desperation to understand swimming in them.

Ontari nodded with the ghost of a smile playing around her lips “I told you the general and the commander care deeply for you, Marie” she reminded the younger girl.

Marie nodded mutely, it was obvious she was still deeply upset though.

“You do not believe her?” Ontari checked in a cautious tone. She had no idea what had the younger girl so upset at the moment.

Marie immediately shook her head in denial “I don’t think she lied…” she said, and an expression of wonder passed over her features as she said “She made a tea for me when I was sick in the night. She was not angry that I woke her. Or I think she was not...”

“I doubt she was” Ontari agreed instantly, before Marie continued to speak.

“She looked after every small wound I got during training” the younger girl’s voice was tinted with honest confusion and surprise “And she washed and made my hair. She applied some kind of salve to help with the scarring as well. And she was upset…” a shadow seemed to pass over the girl’s features and Ontari felt her smaller hands starting to shake again.

“She was upset about what?” Ontari gently asked, trying to divert Marie’s attention from whatever was haunting her.

Marie’s grey eyes seemed to widen again and she stared down at their joined hands, before she ripped her own smaller hands away again, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“You don’t need to tell me” Ontari quickly reassured, alarmed at the girl’s reaction. She had not meant to deepen the girl’s turmoil.

Silence settled between them for a moment and Anya contemplated if she should just enter and order her charge to come back to their quarters, but something rooted her in her spot. She was relived to hear from Marie’s mouth that she did believe in her feelings, but she was confused what the problem might be, if Marie truly did believe her.

Marie’s grey eyes seemed to have dulled totally when she spoke up again, her voice sounded strangely monotonous and Ontari doubted she was aware of her position anymore. “Has the queen ever demanded you to make her feel good?”

Ontari swallowed forcefully when their eyes connected again and she could almost taste the other girl’s misery, it was so apparent at the moment, and she shook her head in denial “She did not”. Ontari herself had wondered already why Nia had never done the same to her and the only reason she had come up with had been that she had already been loyal and believing without the further need to be broken.

“She said that I have to. That it is my obligation. That you do that, if you care for each other…” Marie’s voice was laced with confusion and she had gotten paler again.

“Nia did not care…” Ontari interjected forcefully, voice raised slightly to make her point.

Marie nodded with a miserable expression “But if she did not care for me, why did she do it then…?” her voice sounded almost broken and tears fell from her eyes again.

Ontari shook her head, lost for words. She did not know what to tell the younger girl. She doubted it would be helpful to tell her that the queen’s only intent had been to break her spirit.

Marie seemed to gather herself surprisingly quickly and the tears stopped as fast as they had come. She still had curled into herself and she seemed to remember, why she had started to tell Ontari about it at all. “I tried to offer the same to Anya…” she explained and her grey eyes were completely confused again.

Ontari audibly sucked in a harsh breath. She could imagine that the general would have been highly upset by that.

“…she did not wish for me to service her like that. She said no one would make me do that ever again” Marie finished and after a moment she added “And she cried…why would she cry?”

Ontari nodded in obvious agreement to the first part of the younger girl’s words, but she faltered slightly at Marie’s question. She did not know exactly why the general would shed tears in response to that revelation, but she could fathom the reason. “Marie, she will probably feel that she failed you” she tried to reason gently with the younger girl.

Marie’s grey eyes clouded in confusion “But she has not hurt me” she insisted.

“I know” Ontari agreed “And you can be sure, that she never will either. But as far as I know, you separated during a hunting trip and you lost your memory afterwards. So, essentially, she will probably blame herself for leaving you on your own and not being able to protect you from Nia. I guess the commander will share the sentiment though.”

Marie seemed to contemplate her words for long moments “They did not command the queen to do anything to me…” She did know that what had happened to her was no one’s fault, but she still did not understand why the queen would hurt her in the first place. Had she done something to the queen?

“No, they did not” Ontari agreed again. She did not know how to explain to Marie better why both the general and the commander would feel guilty that Marie had ended in the queen’s hands.

“I don’t understand why the queen had made me make herself feel good and Anya does not want me to do that. If it is something you make for people you care for…” Marie repeated giving voice to her conflicting thoughts.

“Marie, Nia did not care for you in the sense care is meant to be” Ontari tried to instil in the young girl’s mind “She used you. She manipulated you and she hurt you. The general will not want you to service her sexually not because she does not love you, but rather because she truly loves you”.

Her words did not seem to have the effect Ontari had wished for them to have and the nightblood tried to explain herself better, when Marie’s confusion seemed to only increase. “Nia never cared for you, Marie. She only cares for herself and what others can do for her” she said forcefully “It is true that people who care for each other make themselves feel better…” Ontari tried to explain, feeling herself fumble with the words almost helplessly “…but there is a difference between a consensual sexual relationship between two adults and what Nia made you do, Marie. It is simply not the same.”

“Why not?” Marie interjected, voice sounding dejected and her grey eyes shone with helplessness.

“Because you did not want to share your body with Nia like that, Marie” Ontari answered quickly “The general and the commander care for you in a totally different way, Marie. They would not hurt and violate you like that”.

“But I did not fight back…” Marie said in a trembling tone and tears filled her grey eyes again. She remembered that the Skykru doctor had called it rape, that the queen had raped her. But did rape not mean that the victim had to fight back? Did it not mean she had sort of agreed to it because she had just participated?

Ontari felt her heart almost breaking for the younger girl and she felt utterly helpless to actually offer any real support to Marie. She desperately wished for the general or the commander, or even the Skykru doctor, to be there in her place, but it seemed Marie had chosen to confide to her. She tried to think of a fitting answer, but she asked instead “Have you told that to the general or anyone else?”

Marie shook her head in the negative and tightened her arms around her knees, pulling them more firmly against her chest and making herself even smaller.

Ontari sighed under her breath, she had feared exactly that answer. “You should speak to the general about that, Marie” she tried to reason with the younger girl and she had to fight against tears of her own, she felt so unprepared to help Marie at this very moment. Not a single one of all the lessons in fighting and surviving could have prepared her for a situation like this.

Marie quickly shook her head again. She did not wish to speak to anyone about it, she did not understand why she had even spoken up to Ontari at all. It was a conflict raging in her mind, on the one hand she desperately wanted to understand what had happened to her, and she knew she could not find the reason within her own mind, but she also did not wish to speak about it.

Ontari nodded, taking a deep breath and she tried to remember what the Skykru doctor had lectured her on during the day on what to tell Marie, if the girl would confide to her. “Did you want to make Nia feel good?” she asked finally, trying to argument with logic with the younger girl.

Marie immediately shook her head.

“Did it make you feel good to have to do it?” Ontari inquired, although she knew the answer already.

Marie’s shaking got more pronounced again and she disagreed almost frantically.

“What do you think would have happened if you had not complied with Nia’s orders?” Ontari asked softly keeping her dark eyes compassionate.

Marie frowned for a moment, before she shuddered “She would have killed you and me…”

Ontari frowned now “Did Nia threaten you with death?” She had known the queen worked with threats, but she had not thought that she would have been included in that, nor that Marie would have truly tried to safe her then.

Marie nodded “She said that she would make me kill you and kill me afterwards”.

Ontari nodded with a cautious expression. She was relatively sure, that Nia would not have followed through with that, but it was obvious Marie had believed so.

“I thought about it…” Marie said, almost inaudibly and Anya had to strain her hearing to catch the girl’s soft words, her heart falling into the pit of her stomach at the implication of her charge’s words.

“About what?” Ontari inquired with a frown. She doubted Marie would have wished to kill her, but she had no idea just how deeply Nia had wound herself into Marie’s fragile mind.

“Letting her kill me” Marie confessed and after a moment she added “Or ending it myself…”

Ontari sucked in a harsh breath and her own eyes widened in disbelieve.

“She caught me…” Marie continued, voice sounding hollow and far away again and Ontari waited for the younger girl to continue.

“…I had been left alone in her quarters for a few moments and she had left a dagger on the table” Marie narrated, eyes unseeing and horror etched deeply into her features “It would have been so easy to slice my own throat open and end it…but the queen returned earlier…I had not heard her return…she was so angry…that was when she said I would have to kill you before she would give me the mercy of death…”


	164. Chapter 164

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 163  
> Marie seeks out Ontari in the night. Anya stands outside of the door and listens to their conversation.

Chapter 164

Ontari had paled at the younger girl’s words and she was surprised that Marie still had enough compassion left in her to continue living just to save her.

Anya felt a part of herself shatter at her charge’s admission. Abby had cautioned them on the fact the Marie might be having suicidal tendencies, but she had not wished to believe that Nia had succeeded in completely destroying the in love with life part of Marie.

“…she said I could not simply kill myself and take me away from her…she needed me, she said…she…” Marie broke down completely and Ontari wound her arms around the younger girl, enveloping her in her strong arm.

“Marie, you need to speak with the general about all of this” Ontari tried to repeat to Marie with urgency in her tone. She would not betray the younger girl and relay what she had been told to the general herself, but she simply was not able to provide the aid, Marie obviously needed.

Marie shook her head again, backing away from the nightblood’s hug.

“Why not?” Ontari asked, desperation seeping into her tone. “The general and the commander both want to help you” she insisted strongly.

“I know…” Marie said in an almost broken tone “You don’t understand…”

“Then explain it to me” Ontari requested softly “They care for you, deeply, Marie”.

“That is the point!” Marie retorted hotly, suddenly angry at the older girl.

Ontari looked at the girl with a frown, not understanding her sudden outburst at all.

“They care for me, yes” Marie agreed, voice raised and angry “But I don’t remember. I do NOT remember!”

Ontari’s frown had only deepened, they all knew that Marie had not regained her memories yet, so she truly failed to understand the problem.

“You have not seen how disappointed they are, that I don’t remember” Marie confessed, a bitterness in her tone now “I try to remember, but the more I try, I feel like the less makes sense”.

“Marie, no one expects you to regain your memories like that” Ontari insisted. But she knew that it would not be easy to interact with Marie for the commander and the general. She had had dealt with this new version of Marie and it had been hard for her to adapt as well and their connection could not compare to the love between the three of them, so Ontari could barely fathom how much harder it would be for the commander and the general.

Marie huffed “They don’t know how to interact with me” the young girl said voice laced with frustration with herself “I can see that they are holding back and expecting me to react in a certain way, but I don’t know how to anymore”.

“You should not stress yourself like that, Marie” Ontari cautioned. She remembered that the Skykru doctor had spoken about something like that and stressing herself would only be contradictory to Marie’s recovery, she had said something about the girl blocking herself if she acted like that.

“You can speak to them just like do with me” Ontari added after Marie had remained silent for long moments.

“Maybe…” Marie agreed cautiously, although hesitancy was obvious in her tone, belying her tentative agreement.

“You can” Ontari repeated, more forcefully this time, but her voice got softer again as she asked “Why do you think that you cannot trust them like that?”

“How should I…?!” Marie’s voice had taken on a shrill shriek and anger flashed through her grey eyes again.

Ontari frowned at the younger girl’s reaction.

Marie’s voice was quivering and hollow again, when she spoke up again “…I trusted the queen…” and tears gathered in her grey eyes again.

The girl’s words and their implication had been like a vicious slap to Anya’s face. She understood immediately why Marie had chosen to trust Ontari and was hesitant to show them even slight amounts of trust now. Nia had used and broken all the trust the young girl had naively shown to her and by thus broken her very believe in the fundamentality of trust.

Ontari seemed to have come to the same conclusion as she asked “And now you fear that the commander and general will misuse your trust as well?”

No audible answer was given, but Anya could hear the Ice Nation nightblood inhale sharply, so she could assume that Marie had nodded her agreement. She had waited for what felt like hours in front of the doors Ontari’s quarters, biding her time for the perfect moment to interrupt the girl’s conversation and get Marie back into their room, but Anya knew that she could not do so now. If she revealed her presence now, Marie would already feel betrayed by her. Anya was on the one hand grateful that she had chosen to follow her charge, because it was clear she might otherwise have never heard the same admissions from Marie, but on the other hand she felt oddly defeated.

Marie had not been wrong in her assessment of Anya’s and Lexa’s feelings of disappointment. They had both been so relived to see the girl alive, that it was like a harsh blow now, to see the girl physically, but to be so separated from her at the same time.

Anya soundlessly inched away from the nightblood’s quarters. The guards had waited at the end of the corridor and she sent them back to their receptive posts. Ontari was correct that not everyone would be happy about her return to the capitol and Anya would speak with Lexa about increasing protection for the Ice Nation nightblood. Even though she was sure Ontari did not harbour any particular feelings towards herself and the commander, she could not feel anything but a deep sense of gratitude for the nightblood now. Ontari had defended both of them and their care for Marie during the girls’ conversation and it was obvious that the nightblood truly wished to help Marie. She had not wanted to believe that a true friendship had grown between both girls, but Anya could no longer deny the honesty and deepness of the bond the nightblood obviously had with their charge.

Marie seemed to be completely lost in her own thoughts and she did not react to the sounds of loud footsteps from the corridor at first. When she finally caught up with them, a worried frown settled on her young features.

“Only the guard shift” Ontari quickly reassured the younger girl, the lie coming easily. Even though Marie had not noticed that absence of footsteps retreating from before the room, Ontari had noticed. The nightblood had concluded quickly that someone must have stood in front of the door the whole time and someone with enough power to send away the guards, she only noticed now that the door had not been closed completely by Marie as she had entered, probably surprised by Ontari defending herself. But Ontari knew that only the commander and the general would have simply waited in front of the door. She quickly banned a surge of irritation from her mind at the thought of being spied on, it was better if one of them had already heard everything which Marie had just told her. It also told her that whoever of the two had stood in front of the door was satisfied to leave Marie with her for the rest of the night and a quick glance to the small window told her that there were only very few hours of the nights left before she would be woken again to join the rest of the conclave for their training.

“You should sleep” Ontari directed gently. It was obvious that the conversation had exhausted Marie emotionally and although the younger girl still had that haunted look in her eyes, Ontari did not know on what to do to make it vanish again and she hoped that sleep would at least offer Marie a chance to think everything they had just spoken about through.

“Should I not return…?” Marie asked reluctance clear in her tone.

Ontari shook her head “Just lie down” she ordered softly and sank down again on the mattress, lying on her back.

Marie seemed to hesitate for the fraction of a second, before she complied with the order and cautiously lied down beside the older girl. Her movements were slow and cautious and her grey eyes hefted onto Ontari’s features, as she inched closer to the older girl, obviously afraid of being denied the physical comfort she seemed to seek.

Ontari only tightened her arms around Marie once it seemed as if the girl had found a comfortable position. It was not particularly comfortable to her, the younger girl’s elbow was digging into her side and her sharp chin was pressed against her collarbone, but she had no intention of asking her to move. She could feel the tenseness of the younger girl’s body pressed against her own and Ontari let her free hand soothingly run through Marie’s blonde hair, until her body got softer again and seemed to almost melt against her side. It was a weird sensation for Ontari to lie like this with Marie, they had shared a bed many times before in the queen’s fortress, but something had changed in the younger girl obviously and while she had held the girl back then, efficiently spooning her, the girl was now curled into her side. She felt it when the girl’s breathing evened out and Marie drifted off to sleep.

Ontari tightened her arms around her smaller body slightly, vowing to herself to protect the younger girl from further harm and deeply regretting that she had not been able to protect her from Nia.

 

Clarke had stayed awake for a rather long time, waiting for Lexa to return to her quarters, but the commander did not return. Clarke had not noticed drifting off at all, but when she woke, the other side of the huge bed was still cold and empty and silence rang through the commander’s chambers. Lexa had obviously not returned at all, Risha, who had accompanied the brunette, was still absent as well. With a frown Clarke rose from the bed, as worry settled within her mind. Had something happened?

She slung a robe around her body, warding of the chilliness of the room and went over to the doors, opening them. Only one guard stood in front of them and she recognized Ryder and realized Gustus’ absence. “Where is the commander?” the blonde asked with worry underlining her tone.

“Still in the throne room” Ryder answered immediately.

Clarke frowned “Is the meeting still ongoing?” she asked in apparent confusion. It was dark outside, signalling that it was still in the middle of the night.

“There was no meeting, Wanheda” Ryder answered truthfully.

Clarke suppressed the flinch the title still evoked from her body and she nodded her silent acknowledgment. She sighed under her breath, so the supposed meeting had truly only been an excuse. Clarke felt a sliver of hurt flash through her mind. She had argued back and forth with Lexa already that she wished to share her burdens with the young leader. But it was hard for the brunette to truly open up to Clarke.

Clarke left the commander’s quarters still clad in the robe and barefoot, but she barely felt the coldness of the stones against her feet. She could only imagine Lexa’s state if the commander had chosen to stay awake, probably broodingly sitting her throne the whole night.

Like she had predicted Gustus stood post in front of the throne room and although the burly guard had been ordered not to let anyone disturb his commander, he knew that Wanheda would not be denied entrance into the room and internally he was glad that the blonde Skykru woman would support Lexa like that.

Lexa truly sat on her throne when Clarke entered and although the brunette had discarded her heavy armour, her shoulders were bent and her expression downtrodden as if she was weighted down by all the burdens of the world.

The commander’s green eyes were exhausted and dark circles had started to form beneath her eyes, giving her an almost sickly complexion. Risha sat at the commander’s feet and the wolf’s muzzle rested in Lexa’s lap and the commander’s fingers stroked over her silky fur absently minded.

“Lexa” Clarke addressed the young leader softly and their eyes connected quickly.

Lexa straightened herself visibly and her back cracked loudly as it realigned again, having sat hunched over without moving at all for a few hours, lost in her own thoughts.

The commander noted on the worry within the blue eyes of her lover “I apologize if I made you worry” she reassured in a heavy tone.

Clarke quickly shook her head “You do not need to lie to me if you want distance, Lexa” she commented, not quiet hiding a slight accusation from her tone.

Lexa inclined her head and she closed her eyes shortly “I apologize again…” the leader said with a heavy sigh.

Clarke shook her head again, sighing herself “It is alright. I know it is hard for you to share all your thoughts with me. You are not used to sharing yourself like that…” She knew that Lexa simply needed more time to adapt to her changed living conditions and it did not help that it had been instilled into Lexa for years that feelings were weakness and nothing to be vocalized like that.

Lexa’s green eyes showed the gratitude for the blonde woman, she was unable to truly put into words. She had needed to be on her own to sort through her thoughts. She doubted that Marie would truly be a danger to her, the girl had not seemed to look for a way to physically attack her. But she had to agree with Titus that their changed relationship put the girl’s position as her second into question.

“The dinner was not as disastrous as it could have been” Clarke tried lamely to reason with the brunette, picking up on her thoughts.

Lexa raised a brow inquiringly “How could it have gone any worse” she asked and the bitterness was apparent in her tone, even to her own ears. Marie had left an emptiness in herself that could not be filled by Clarke and she feared Marie herself would not be able to return to her old self as well.

Clarke’s lips thinned disparagingly “Marie did not try to attack you physically” she retorted.

“She would have been foolish to try” Lexa remarked “She must have known that there was no chance of her succeeding faced with me and Anya together”.

Clarke sighed under her breath “Lexa, she will remember you…” she tried to reassured the brunette woman and the way her green eyes looked at her, so clearly disagreeing with her tugged at her heart painfully. She knew that Lexa felt as if she had lost the girl, she regarded as a daughter, a second time. “…even if she does not. You have gained her trust once, Lexa, why should you not connect with her again? A part of Marie must remember that she loves you” Clarke tried to reason with the young leader compassionately.

Lexa shook her head slightly. She had contemplated that possibility for hours and the conclusion she had come up with felt like it was tearing herself up from the inside out. What if it was better for Marie to not remember their connection? She knew how deeply the guilt had edged itself into her former mentor for the fact that she had left Marie behind in the first place and although Lexa had not giving voice to her own guilt, she could not shake the question from her mind, if Nia would have even tortured Marie like that if the Ice queen had not been aware of the feelings Lexa had for the young girl? A part of her was convinced that Nia would have only killed the girl if her love for the girl had not been in the picture and Lexa was sure that death would have been a kinder fate for their charge.

She was putting Clarke in the same position she had once put Costia in and she unconsciously had subjected Marie to the same danger. All of them had been linked to the commander through private feelings and Titus’ words of “love was weakness” rang through her mind again. Costia had paid with her life and Marie had paid the price as well. Lexa wished, she could go back in time and shield the young girl from all that she had suffered through, but as powerful as she was, she was unable to do so. Lexa had accepted that Clarke was an adult and a force on her own, she could not discourage the blonde healer in her intent to stay by her side. But Marie was a child still and no one had ever asked her, if she was willing to take the extra risk of being associated to her like that. Lexa had thought, she would offer more protection by announcing her as her second, but the opposite had happened and Lexa felt her own amount of guilt at what her choices had meant for the sweet child.

Lexa knew it would be a harsh blow if she were to send Marie away, because Anya would not wish to leave the girl ever again. The commander had sat on her throne for hours contemplating exactly that choice and she feared she was not strong enough to carry through with it. She could argue with Anya that bringing Marie back to the Ark would probably be the best for her to regain her memories, but she would also remove her from the environment where Abby had reasoned that the memories to herself where linked within the girl’s minds; she could only hope the general would not catch up on that fact.

“I will send Anya and Marie to Arkadia with your mother” Lexa announced, her shoulders visibly sagged again and she felt as if a band wrapped itself around her heart, constricting it harshly.

“What?!” Clarke asked, disbelieve etched into her features and worry tinting her voice strongly.

“It is better this way, Clarke” Lexa explained voice tired and heavy.

Clarke shook her head, disagreement clear in her blue eyes “You don’t wish for them to return, do you?”

Lexa’s green eyes shone with a sheen of tears as she nodded her head in agreement “I have put her in harm’s way enough already…”

“Oh, Lexa…” Clarke sighed under breath and stepped forward, enveloping the brunette in her arms. She felt the commander’s body sagging against her own and Lexa’s forehead rested against her shoulder, as if all strength had left the young leader’s body. “Think about it again after you have slept some, Lexa” Clarke tried to reason with her lover and gently caressed her neck through her mass of brown locks.

“I have already made my decision…” Lexa retorted, voice sounding utterly defeated and Clarke only tightened her arms around the other woman, she would try to argue with the commander in the morning; right now, she only needed rest.


	165. Chapter 165

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, so that all of you do not have to wonder any longer ;)
> 
> Previously in chapter 164  
> Ontari tries to reassure Marie and be there for her. Anya realizes that they might need Ontari to really help Marie. Clarke tries to support Lexa, who has made a heavy decision.

Chapter 165

Clarke had waited until they had returned to the privacy of the commander’s quarters, before she spoke again. She had changed her mind about letting Lexa simply sleep over the decision, she knew how stubborn and self-sacrificing the young leader was and she feared her mind would-be set-in stone if she waited until morning to try to change her mind. Clarke could understand why Lexa would choose to send both her former mentor and Marie from her side. What could the commander hope to achieve that way?

“Lexa, you are making an error if you sent them away” Clarke directly addressed the matter at hand and could see the brunette’s features harden, as she pulled forth the mask of the commander. She quickly stepped closer to her, taking her hands into her own, caressing the calloused fingers gently and she shook her head vehemently “Don’t do that, Lexa. You are not going to make this decision as the commander”.

“You still have not understood that I am always the commander” Lexa remarked voice strong and green eyes unyielding.

Clarke’s lips thinned “No, I am acutely aware of that” she shot back, her own blue eyes narrowed “But this is not a decision you should make as the commander. Lexa, you regard Marie as a daughter…” she started to try to reason with the young leader.

“Something I should clearly not have” Lexa interjected as strongly.

Clarke shook her head again, feeling her patience wan out quickly “For god’s sake, Lexa! Even you cannot control your heart like that. Marie is not dead, Lexa, and sending her away would be one of your biggest mistakes”.

Lexa met Clarke’s blue eyes calmly, even as a storm seemed to rage through the healer’s gaze. Clarke was, without knowing it, giving voice to what Lexa already knew and had tried hard to ban from her mind.

“Fight for her, my warrior, don’t act out of fear” Clarke tried to hearten the young leader. She did not know if it had been the way she addressed Lexa or her hint at fear, which truly changed the commander’s mind, but she could almost see it, how the light in her green eyes changed.

“Your warrior?” Lexa echoed, her lips turned upwards in the hint of a smile, her tone had gotten lighter again and the band which had been fastened around her heart, seemed to loosen itself again, making her feel lighter and stronger again.

Clarke smirked with a slight blush on her cheeks “Are you not a warrior, commander?” she asked teasingly, feeling that the leader’s mood had efficiently been lifted.

“The greatest of them all” Lexa agreed without any hint of arrogance. Her smile dimed slightly as she added “Do not mention what we have spoken about to Anya, please”. The commander knew that her general would probably take personal offence, if she learned that she had contemplated sending her away from her private counsel again after making her the head of her army. She suddenly felt foolish for contemplating such a decision at all. She needed all the support of those she knew to be loyal to her until the very end with a war on the horizon.

Clarke nodded, as she leaned closer and placed a gentle kiss on the corners of the young leader’s mouth, shooing thoughts of war from her mind efficiently. She pulled gently at Lexa’s hand, directing her over to the bed and sinking down in front of her. Lexa fell asleep with Clarke’s warm arms enveloping her and a feeling of hope blooming in her chest, hope that everything would turn right again.

 

Anya had not found much rest during the remaining hours of the night. Her thoughts had kept circling back around themselves in her mind, keeping herself from falling back asleep.

Maybe they had gone the wrong way about trying to help Marie? She would need to speak with Abby first thing in the morning and afterwards with Lexa, before her former second would be occupied with meetings for the remainder of the day.

Anya rose from her bed, long before the sun had truly risen and it was still mostly dark outside. Her body felt exhausted, but her mind was still far too turmoiled to even contemplate sleeping. She hoped that the Skykru doctor would not be too upset to be approached at such an hour, but she simply did not wish to wait any longer. Abby had said that she would try to speak to Marie again this morning, but if the girl did not wish to enclose anything to her, like she feared, she would leave again to get back to Arkadia.

Abby looked rather dishevelled, when Anya knocked at the door to the quarters which been assigned to the doctor. “Is something wrong with Marie?” Abby immediately asked, as she pulled her hair together into a ponytail.

“No” Anya answered “She has spent the night with Ontari. She opened up a lot to her” the general confessed.

Abby nodded with a frown on her face, unsure of why the other woman was telling her that.

“Marie does not trust us neither me, nor Lexa. But she trusts Ontari” Anya remarked, waiting if the doctor would come to the same conclusion she had during the night.

Abby thought for a moment, before she nodded “Both of you do not trust Ontari, do you?” she asked inquiringly.

Anya shook her head “She is Ice Nation. But her intentions with Marie are pure” she insisted, she could not deny that fact any longer.

“Then it might help if you both show Marie that you do trust Ontari” Abby surmised what Anya had already assumed. “Do you think she will be more open to talk with me today?” the doctor asked after a short pause.

“I doubt it” Anya answered “She is afraid to trust me and Lexa, although she knows of our feelings for her. She would not trust you like that, you have no connection to her”.

Abby did not deny the general’s words. Although she did internally disagree with the other woman, she in fact had a much older connection with Marie than they had, but she never shared such a deep personal bond with the girl, so it would be more probable for Marie to find trust into them. She would still try again, even though she had very little hope of getting anything out of the girl now.

Before coming to Polis Abby had highly doubted that the general or the commander would heed anything she would advise them on and she was positively surprised to realize that her opinion was treasured by them.

Anya nodded, inclining her head mutely and swept from the room as quickly, as she had come, leaving Abby slightly confused.

The general knew that the commander would already be out of bed and she hoped to surpass her before the younger woman left for an early morning training. She had sent a guard to Titus to relay to the man not to collect Ontari for her daily training and wait for further instructions, the man would surely be furious to receive orders like that from her. But Anya did not care about that for a moment, hopefully, Ontari and Marie would catch slightly more rest that way.

On her way to the commander’s quarters Anya shortly ran into Alira, so the handmaid had probably already catered to the commander and the general quickened her pace slightly.

Fortunately, Gustus and Ryder both still stood in front of the doors to the commander’s quarters, signalling the leader’s presence. Anya nodded to both before letting herself inside.

Lexa seemed to be in the process of finishing her breakfast when Anya entered and the commander looked genuinely surprised to see her. Worry tinted her voice clearly as she asked “Has something happened with Marie?”

“Not directly” Anya reassured her former second and sat down opposite of Lexa.

Clarke came out of the bathroom in that moment, fastening a cloak around herself. She paused shortly when she noticed the general’s presence “Good morning, Anya” she greeted the woman. “I am afraid I cannot stay. A patient is waiting for me” the healer explained and nodded to Anya, before she bent down and kissed Lexa gently in farewell, giving her an encouraging smile, before she left the commander’s quarters altogether.

“Where is Marie then?” Lexa asked slightly confused. She had not expected to see her general until later in the day, when a meeting was scheduled.

“With Ontari” Anya answered immediately “She stayed the night with her”.

Lexa raised a brow questioningly at the older woman.

“Marie must have woken from a nightmare last night and she had obviously not wanted to wake me up” Anya started to narrate and she slowly filled Lexa into what she had listened in while she stood in front of the nightblood’s doors.

Lexa’s features flashed with varying degrees of worry and compassion for their young charge. She felt her heart ache in sympathy for the girl and knew that they would both do everything in their power to help her get better.

“What do you suggest then?” Lexa asked after her general had finished speaking. It was obvious the older woman was as shocked by some of their charge’s admissions as she felt, although Anya already had hours to contemplate over them.

“Marie needs to gain new trust into us” Anya finished and before Lexa could interject something, she added “We cannot wait for her to regain her memories. It is possible, that she never will.”

Lexa nodded with a thoughtful expression, as a sigh left her lips. Abby had already told them that fact the prior day.

“While Marie does not trust us, she does trust Ontari” Anya said after a moment of silence between them.

Lexa’s brows knitted together in confusion, not seeing how that was supposed to help them get closer to Marie again.

“Even though we have not forbidden Marie from seeking out Ontari, it must have been obvious to her that we are not pleased with the fact, that she actually does” Anya remarked.

Lexa sighed under her breath “So, you propose that we need to show Marie that we trust Ontari?” she checked, doubt lacing her tone. Although she did trust the Ice Nation nightblood to a certain degree, she did not regard the idea of getting closer to her personally, as such a good one.

“Exactly” Anya agreed “Ontari knows that members of other clans will not be pleased to see her continue as a novitiate under you. She has already gotten hold of a dagger, prepared to protect herself.”

“You want me to protect her more strongly?” Lexa inquired. She hoped that no one would be foolish enough to undermine her by attacking the Ice Nation nightblood, but it was not out of the scope of possibility altogether as well.

“I want to take over her training for now, together with Marie’s” Anya explained and Lexa’s frown made her add quickly “I know that I am no flamekeeper, but having both girls spend their days with each other can only help. Marie is much more relaxed around Ontari. Abby thinks that letting them share a sleeping place would be advantageous as well. But I do not want Marie removed from me completely…”

Lexa raised a brow at the older woman “You do realize, that the only option to reach both at the same time, would be sharing your quarters with Ontari as well? Which would already increase her security a lot”.

Anya sighed and the clench of her jaw as she nodded made it apparent that the general had thought a lot about what she was proposing to her.

Lexa nodded, a slight frown still resting on her features “It will surely help to put the girl at ease again in your presence…” as her voice trailed off, Anya could clearly detect some bitterness.

“Both of them should spend a little time with you on a daily basis, removed from your responsibilities as the commander” Anya added last. She had briefly discussed that with Abby as well. The doctor had been clear that she doubted Marie would ever find trust into Lexa, if she did not find a connection to her removed from her political role, Marie needed to get to know the woman behind the mask of the commander again, now that Nia had efficiently poisoned the girl’s mind against the commander.

Lexa sighed audibly, but she nodded “I will try to accommodate to that” she promised gravely. She did wish to re-connect with Marie after all.

 

Ontari woke with a slight start, feeling Marie’s smaller body still cuddled against her side. She seemed to have lost all sensation of the limp on which Marie’s weight still rested and she frowned, when she noticed the light already filtering through the window from outside. The sun must have risen some time ago already, so, she wondered why no one had called her to attend the morning training. She internally wondered if Marie’s presence and the general could be the reason for that.

Ontari gently tried to rouse Marie, although the girl still looked peaceful in her slumber. She doubted that the general would let them sleep and laze the day away.

Marie’s expression as she slowly grumbled awake, looked so innocent and cute, that it pulled a chuckle from between Ontari’s lips.

“It is time to rise, sleepyhead” Ontari teased lightly, once Marie sat up, and she massaged the now freed arm, trying to regain the feeling in the limp.

Marie light-heartedly glared at the older girl, but stretched herself. A shy smile rested on her lips, she had slept better last night than she could remember ever sleeping since losing her memories. “Oh, shut up” she sassed right back, lightly shoving the older girl.

Ontari laughed at the girl’s feeble attempt and simply got out of the bed altogether.

Marie frowned slightly, when she caught up with how late it already was.

Ontari’s smile turned reassuring when she noticed worry flashing through the younger girl’s grey eyes “I am sure the general just wanted us to rest longer”. She highly doubted that the Trikru woman would have taken her own exhaustion into account though.

“How did you…?” Marie started to ask, her frown deepening in confusion.

Ontari raised a brow and shook her head lightly “You are still far too easy to read sometimes, Marie”.

Marie grumbled something, too low for Ontari to understand and got out of bed as well.

“Come” Ontari motioned, after she had splashed some water over her face “I will bring you back to the general”.

Marie nodded and Ontari could see the girl’s slight smile freezing completely and grey eyes got worried and even slightly scared.

Ontari lightly squeezed the younger girl’s shoulders “The general will not be angry at you” she reasoned calmly.

Marie nodded after another deep breath, but Ontari kept a hand on the girl’s back, guiding her outside and towards the elevator. The guards did not intercept them, but they accompanied them into the elevator. Marie leaned back slightly against the older girl’s hand. She did not know herself, why she felt so nervous to return to Anya, the woman had not given her any reason to be afraid of her. But a small voice in her mind supplied a critical “yet” to that thought.

Ontari frowned slightly when the guard did not accompany them out of the elevator again, but she did not know what their orders had been and other guards were constantly posted on the top floor of the tower, keeping the commander’s save, even if she was absent.

Marie faltered noticeably in front of the door to the general’s quarters and only Ontari’s hand remaining against her back, pushed her to reach for the door and really open it. The girl stopped in her step, when she spotted Anya.

The general was sitting at the table, which was filled with breakfast and the table had been set for three people.

She frowned when she noticed how crowded the quarters suddenly felt and it took her a moment until she figured out the reason. All the furniture had been moved, so that a third bed had found place inside of the room. Marie internally wondered for who it was supposed to be.

Ontari subtly squeezed the younger girl’s shoulder and inclined her head respectfully to the Trikru general as a farewell, but the woman stopped her with a gesture.

“Stay” Anya ordered calmly and motioned both girls over to the table “Help yourselves” she added when both sat down on their chairs, stiff and obviously confused with what was going on.

Marie only started to take something for herself, after Ontari had filled a plate for herself. Although the nightblood felt visibly uncomfortable, she had pulled on a neutral expression, probably more for Marie’s benefit.

When Ontari truly looked at the general, an understanding seemed to pass through her brown eyes and Ontari knew that she had been the one, who had stood in front of her door for hours last night, as she had comforted Marie.

“I know that you are more comfortable with Ontari, Marie” Anya finally addressed her young charge, which instantly made Marie freeze up and look at the general like a startled deer.

Anya sighed under her breath “It will take some getting used to, but you will both be trained by me from now and share my quarters”.

Ontari had to control herself, or she was sure her mouth would have hung open in silent shock. That was probably the least likely outcome of the previous night, she could have foreseen. She had hoped that she would not be punished for letting Marie stay with her, but she had at least expected some kind of lecture and warning to maybe keep a little more distance to the blonde child. She had surely not expected to be now protected by the general herself, because she did realize that the new arrangement would not only benefit Marie, but it would offer her a lot more protection, she would be nearly untouchable.

Marie was obviously confused as well, but the girl could not stop a tentative smile ghosting over her lips. She would truly feel a lot better with Ontari being closer to herself.

“Thank you…” the girl said softly to the general, her grey eyes shining with gratitude and Anya inclined her head with a kind expression.


	166. Chapter 166

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 165  
> Clarke manages to change Lexa’s mind. Anya seeks Abby’s opinion and speaks with Lexa later. Anya changes accommodations, so that Marie and Ontari both are going to stay with her and be trained by her.

Chapter 166

Their first breakfast together could probably have gone over smoother, but it was obvious that neither of them knew what to say to each other.

Anya sighed under her breath. She had never been the chattiest person and Marie had previously been the one to continuously chirp about one thing or the other.

It was obvious that Ontari and Marie both were uncomfortable in the new arrangement, but Anya hoped that they would ease into it with a bit of time.

She basically knew nothing about the Ice Nation nightblood beside her name and that she had grown up under Nia’s tutelage. She would need to try to get better acquittanced with Ontari quickly.

“Abby will come to talk to you after we finish eating” Anya proclaimed into the strained silence that had settled between them.

Ontari did not react to the statement, as it did not pertain to her, but Marie swallowed forcefully and stopped eating altogether, although the girl had barely eaten more than a few small bites.

Anya sighed again at the strong reaction of her charge and felt her own appetite dwindle down.

She waited a few more moments before the general stood from her place and asked a guard to send for Abby. Anya could hear Ontari whispering a few reassurances to Marie and felt the gratefulness for the nightblood increase slightly at her attempt to support Marie and put the girl on ease.

Marie’s expression had closed off completely when Anya returned, so Ontari’s attempts had not been successful.

“Ontari, we will go outside in the meantime” the general addressed the nightblood girl in an even and almost kind tone.

Ontari nodded her silent agreement, although she would have preferred to stay and keep Marie company. But she also had no idea on how the Skykru planned to help Marie and maybe she needed to be alone with the younger girl for that purpose. She wondered what the general had planned for her, but she would see in a few moments.

She guessed that the general would lay down some ground rules of how she expected her to behave now that she was essentially her charge as well for the time being. Ontari wondered internally if she would still share lessons with the other novitiates, but she guessed all her questions would be answered sooner or later.

The minutes trickled by slowly and under the watchful gaze of the general, Ontari did not try to engage Marie in conversation to divert the girl’s attention. Marie’s whole frame had tensed up and it was obvious her nervousness was only mounting with every passing second. She would have liked to reach out and physically reassure and ground the younger girl, but she was not sure how the general would react to something like that, so Ontari simply watched Marie mutely.

When Abby arrived, Ontari smiled reassuringly at Marie and subtly let her hand brush over the younger girl’s arms, trying to offer her a kind gesture as a farewell. She followed the general obediently without being prompted to.

Her instincts told her to pull up an arrogant front, showing that she felt herself superior, but the change of arrangements had surprised Ontari. She kept her expression more or less open, but at least neutral and fell into step slightly behind the general.

“Have you ever had a real first?” Anya asked the Ice Nation nightblood, once they had stepped inside of the elevator. She did not know how long Abby had planned on speaking with Marie, but Gustus still stood post on the top floor of the tower and could stay with Marie, should Abby leave before she returned with Ontari.

Ontari raised her brow questioningly, slightly thrown by the off-hand inquiry “Beside the queen?” she checked.

Anya snorted lightly under her breath “Nia hardly counts a first”.

“Then, no” Ontari answered curtly, still wondering what the general was aiming at with her question. She followed the woman silently as they stepped out of the tower, she faltered only for the fraction of the second, when the general led them out of Polis, into the surrounding woods. She had minutely feared the general would be leading her to her own execution, but she had shooed the thought from her mind at once again.

“You may think that you already know everything, Ontari” Anya turned around and stopped in the middle of a clearing. She knew the guard schedule and there would be no one listening to their conversation here. It was imperative that Ontari agreed to be trained by her, Lexa and she could easily force her to share the general’s quarters, but they could not force her cooperation, not truly at least.

Ontari raised a brow in the mimic of a mocking question. She had learned already that the assessment of her omniscience was more than a little flawed.

“You probably know that I have heard almost your complete conversation with Marie last night” Anya changed the subject abruptly.

Ontari nodded with a cautious expression, she had no idea why the general had changed the subject at all and the whole conversation was starting to creep her out. Had she been led out into the woods to be eliminated after all? Would Marie believe that she had died in an accident so coincidentally?

“I am, and Lexa as well is, deeply grateful for your continued support of Marie” Anya continued after the beat of a second, voice calm and honest. Her brown eyes bored into Ontari’s dark ones with an intensity that made the nightblood almost squirm under its weight.

Ontari was slightly surprised to hear such words of gratitude from the general, she had truly not expected to be acknowledged at all.

“You have willingly risked coming back to Polis, simply to bring Marie back to safety” Anya continued, it was obvious she had thought long on what she wanted to say and Ontari did not wish to interrupt the general’s words.

“There is more to you than brute strength obviously” Anya concluded “Although your fighting skills hardly need any training at all, other aspects of your tutelage have been almost completely neglected. You have shown Marie true compassion, although I doubt you have received any before. There is a strong spirit within you, but your spirit lacks guidance. You know that I have been a first to Lexa before.”

Ontari nodded to the last statement, her dark eyes openly showed her surprise at the general’s words. It almost sounded as if the woman truly wanted to take her as her second as well. She highly doubted she would need something like that at all now anymore. The doubt she felt creeping through her mind, must have shown on her features slightly.

“I am well aware that you are too old to start as a second” Anya agreed “But you could still do with lessons not pertaining fighting skills. If you agree to this, you agree to officially become my second for the time being”.

Ontari’s features twisted into a frown. How should that be working out?

“You would still share the commander’s lessons with the novitiates, but you would spend the rest of your time solely with me, Marie and from time to time Lexa” Anya answered the nightblood’s question, easily picking up on her thoughts.

“Why would you offer something like that?” Ontari wondered out loud. No one had ever offered her any kind of assistance without wanting something in exchange. The world simply did not work that way. “Helping Marie would be my end of the arrangement?” she added after a second, not giving the general the chance to give an answer to her previous question.

Anya shook her head “This does not have anything to do with Marie. You have already started to help Marie, there is nothing in particular I would ask you to do for her. Simply being there seems to put her more at ease. I may not understand the bond you both share, but I cannot deny its existence”.

“Why then?” Ontari questioned again. She did not quiet believe that the Trikru general would offer her any kind of help like that and she still did not know why she would need tutelage at all. It would hardly matter if she had perfect reading skills.

“You will figure that out eventually” Anya answered ominously.

Ontari’s frown deepened and her brows knitted together, she felt irritation settle in her mind. What was the general playing at.

“It will be one of your first lessons” Anya added after a moment of silence.

“What will?” Ontari inquired on edge in a clipped tone, looking away shortly and grinding her teeth together in silent anger.

And suddenly Anya was gone.

Ontari blinked at the spot where the general had just stood. She had not looked away for more than a few seconds and there was no sign of the woman any longer.

Ontari opened her mouth to call out to the general, when she realized that she had no idea on how to address the woman from now on and she closed it with a snap.

What kind of lesson was this supposed to be, Ontari mused angrily in her mind. A sullen frown was etched into her features as she trudged back into the direction of the tower. Fortunately, they had not travelled far into the woods.

Anya watched the nightblood looking around the edges of the clearing for signs of her for a few moments until the girl seemed to give up already and turn around to leave. Patience and endurance would be something she would need to work on with both girls as both of them got impatient and angry way too easy.

The general let herself drop from the tree, she had hidden on, landing on the ground almost soundlessly and only shortly in front of Ontari, obviously startling the girl strongly.

“You lack experience in the woods” Anya remarked drily and preceded the girl without another word, the look of irritation crossing over her face shortly, did not go unnoticed by the general. “You can call me Anya from now on, there is no need to remind me of my title every time you address me” Anya called over shoulder easily.

Ontari followed the general with her mouth hanging slightly open. She had not expected the woman to be like this. She still did not understand, why the general would take her on as a kind of a second. Truthfully, she had wished for a long time to experience the comradery and the bond between a first and a second, but she had buried that wish years ago, knowing it was futile to wish for something impossible like this. The queen had always instilled in her that she did not need anything else beside Nia herself and she had believed her, she knew better now.

“The same rules will apply to both of you from now on” Anya said, although Ontari had not given a clear sign of consent, she had also not spoken a denial, so Anya would take that for now.

Ontari nodded with a cautious expression, the only problem with that statement was, that she was not aware of Marie’s rules.

Anya remained rooted to the spot motionless suddenly and Ontari nearly crashed into the woman’s back, not having expected her to stop so abruptly.

Annoyance was obvious on the woman’s sharp features as she drawled “You should not agree with rules, you do not know. You should ask for me to clarify them” she reprimanded the nightblood sharply.

Her brown eyes were strict as they connected with Ontari’s dark ones and the nightblood hastily nodded her agreement.

Anya sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, her annoyance only mounting “I am aware that Nia will probably not have cared for you questioning her on anything, but I am not her. If you do not know or understand something, I expect you to ask. You do not learn without asking for answers”.

Ontari seemed to contemplate her words, before she nodded again, she seemed to catch on to her automatic response of agreeing and stopped the motion of her head, a faint blush rising to her cheeks and her voice was softer as Anya had ever heard as she mumbled an almost inaudible apology.

“Remember that, Ontari” Anya emphasized “I know it will be a change for you. You will see what being my second means in the next weeks”.

Ontari nodded again and her voice was slightly hesitant as she asked “To what rules have I agreed?”

Anya smirked slightly “You have not agreed to anything yet, but you have not denied either. Think about it for a few days. I expect you to have made up your mind in a moons time. The basic rules you need to know now, are fairly easy to follow. Marie and you are both allowed to move through the tower and the streets of Polis in your free time, but I want to know where you are going. No wandering around without alerting anyone beforehand.”

Ontari nodded, that was a sensible enough rule and she understood the safety measure behind it. It had apparently taken the general a few hours to catch up with the fact that Marie had been abducted from her out of Polis all those weeks ago. Ontari suddenly wondered just how much her life had changed, since she had literally stumbled onto Marie. She could have never predicted the outcome of the proceedings since then and she was positive, she would not change them if she could go back into time.

“Your schedule will be organized by me and Lexa. I want you and Marie to spend some time with the commander daily” Anya continued.

Ontari blinked at the general completely floored, why would she be included in something like that? She understood the reasoning as to why Marie needed to spend time with the commander in private, but her inclusion in that surprised her beyond words.

Anya’s brown eyes seemed to become gentler slightly “Nia has not just poisoned Marie’s mind against Lexa, but yours as well. You have already seen that the commander is not the kind of leader, Nia has portrayed her to be. But you do not know her in private, you do not know the person Lexa is. The same as we do barely know anything about you, beside your excellent fighting skills”.

Ontari contemplated the woman’s words for long silent moments. Beside Marie she could not remember a single other person, who had ever shown any interest in her personality before and she could not help feeling slightly suspicious of the general’s ulterior motives. It felt too easy and too good to be true. She would have agreed to whatever proposal the general might have made, simply to have the possibility to be near Marie. Marie had truly been the only one to ever offer her any kind of real kindness and she would not let the girl down now that she needed her. She would take the time, the general had offered her, she somehow doubted, that her choice would make any difference, but she would see in a moon’s time.

She could not deny a certain truth to the general’s words. She had heard the same lies about the commander and about Trikru for years, but she had seen over the last months that most had been unfounded. Ontari did not know, if she truly needed to get to know the commander on a personal level and she somehow doubted that the woman would be pleased with that arrangement at all. She quitted her doubt down quickly, the general would not proclaim something like that, without discussing it with her former second beforehand.

“I don’t know what to say” Ontari finally admitted after long moments of walking through the forest side by side in silence.

“That is alright” Anya reassured quickly “I do not wish you or Marie to carry weapons in my quarters. We will share meals together and the rest will probably just develop with time. You both will need to accompany me to a few meetings and trainings with my unit. You are going to share your lessons with Marie, so they may not all primarily target you or vice versa, even through your age difference, you can still learn together”.

Ontari nodded thoughtfully. The concept sounded logical to her and she did not mind it in the slightest that she would be seeing less of the other novitiates and probably barely have any contact with the flamekeeper any longer. Being so close to the general would surely get some time to used to it, but it sounded as if the woman was fair. She knew from Marie that the general did not resort to physical punishments for anything, so not having to fear that was a huge advantage. Ontari was not used to share her sleeping quarters with anyone beside Marie, the queen had never required her to sleep within her quarters, she had always been isolated and had her own room.

She wondered what would happen once the war between the rest of the coalition and Azgeda broke out. Would she be expected to fight her own clan? Ontari was positive she would aid in a direct fight against the queen, but what about the rest of Azgeda? She guessed she would receive answers to those questions as well with time.

Her thoughts kept on returning to Marie and she wondered how her meeting with the Skykru doctor had gone. She highly doubted that the younger girl would have confided anything to the woman. But she had no idea how the girl might react if she was forced to talk.


	167. Chapter 167

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another warning again: This chapter heavily deals with the rape aspect again, so it is quite heavy.
> 
> On another note: I have started to work through the story from the beginning again. I have found so many errors, that I simply need to do that. I know, that it might take me forever, but I do not know how to continue right now. I still have some chapters finished, but it might take me a while to continue afterwards.
> 
> Previously in chapter 166   
> Anya speaks with Ontari, proposing to the nightblood to be her first and she explains slightly what that would mean.

Chapter 167

Marie watched Ontari and Anya leave with a frown. She would have like it way better if they had stayed. She did not wish to speak with Abby. She had not liked the doctor the previous day and her insides already clenched uncomfortably in anticipation.

The doctor’s smile seemed kind and honest, when the woman entered and closed the door softly behind herself, sitting down on the chair Anya had just occupied.

“Good morning, Marie” Abby greeted the child calmly and kept her expression open.

Marie only inclined her head in greeting, keeping her lips sealed together tightly, there was nothing she wished to say.

“I heard you had quite the rough night” Abby tried to open conversation with the girl.

Marie nodded, although reluctance was obvious on her features.

Abby sighed under her breath “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“No” Marie immediately denied, shaking her head vehemently.

“Alright” Abby nodded “Maybe something comes to your mind later” she suggested and pulled a book from her bag, opening it and starting to read. She hoped that Marie would just open up at least a little bit with time and faced with only her as company.

Marie narrowed her eyes at the woman. She had hoped that the doctor would simply leave again immediately, if she stayed resolutely silent and it irked her that the woman seemed inclined to stay waiting.

As silence settled in the quarters again, Marie’s thoughts began to run wild against her will. She remembered how Abby had classified what the queen had made her do as “rape”, but she still struggled with the concept. Ontari had advised her to ask someone else for their opinion.

Marie lost all comprehension of time, the only indication that time flowed at all, was the sound of Abby turning a pace occasionally every now and then. It could have been only a few minutes which had passed but it could have been several hours as well.

When the silence seemed to start to drown her and her thoughts kept on screaming louder and louder, Marie spoke up again. She tried to keep her voice as steadfast as possible, but it sounded quivering even to her own eyes. “You said … that the queen … r… raped me…” her voice gave out and her grey eyes were huge in her pale face.

Abby looked at the girl with a gentle and understanding expression and encouragingly said “Yes, she forced you to pleasure her against your consent and that is classified as rape”.

Marie shook her head in denial “She did not!” there was a screech to her tone and her lips pressed into a harsh line.

“Marie…” Abby leaned slightly over and placed a hand over Marie’s smaller ones.

The girl flinched away from her touch violently, nearly falling over with the chair altogether, still shaking her head. “Don’t!” Marie denied the woman to be touched and her voice was hard as she reasoned “I did consent or I did not disagree openly…”

The girl’s voice sounded hollow and haunted, although her features looked hard as if carved from stone.

Abby shook her head in disagreement and her voice was grave as she said “Marie, you are a child. You could not have given your consent to sexual interactions. When an adult coerces a child into a physical relationship, it is always regarded as rape, Marie. A child cannot make such a decision.”

Marie nodded although the confusion and inability to grasp the concept was palpable on her features.

“On which point do you disagree?” Abby asked kindly, keeping her voice even and gentle.

Marie frowned before she said “But I did not fight back…”

Abby shook her head again and retorted with vigour “What the queen has made you do, was by no means your choice, Marie. That you did not physically fight back, does not mean that you wanted to participate, your survival instinct protected you, you were forced.”

“Why ….” Marie started to ask, voice breaking too quickly for the question to form.

It was still obvious to Abby what the girl wished to know and she knew it was typical of a victim of abuse to wonder why they had been abused in the first place. The mind of a victim would try to come up with reasons, placing blame with the victim. It was important to make the girl understand that she could not have done anything to prompt what had happened to her. The problem was, that there simply was no logical reasoning for the Ice queen had done to Marie. There was nothing she could say to reduce the horrors Marie had lived through in any way.

Abby etched slightly closer to Marie with her chair and took the child’s hands again, giving them a squeeze.

Marie’s grey eyes were wide and huge in her pale face, haunted in their expression and her fingers shook strongly.

“Marie, as hard as it sounds, but there is no logical explanation to what you have suffered” Abby addressed the girl’s obvious question.

“I have not fought back…” Marie repeated in an almost defeated tone and the girl looked awfully small, shaking like a leaf, she seemed to curl in on herself on the chair.

“Marie” Abby shook her head. She did not know what might be able to change the girl’s mind, but she had to try nevertheless. “What makes you think that you consented in any way?” the doctor asked, voice compassionate and eyes understanding. She did not know, how long Marie would be this open with her, but she needed to use the little time the girl’s breakdown offered.

Marie shrugged her shoulders with a helpless expression and tried to pry her fingers out of the doctor’s hands, but the older woman held on strongly.

“Marie, you did not initiate this…” Abby tried to reason with the girl and was surprised when the girl suddenly ripped her hands away and her grey eyes seemed to blaze with flaming anger.

“But I did!” the girl almost shrieked, voice shrill and clearly agitated.

“What do you mean?” Abby cautiously asked, keeping her voice as calm as possible, even though she felt alarmed by the child’s outburst.

Marie’s anger seemed to ebb away as quickly as it had erupted and only emptiness seemed to be left within her grey eyes. “You want to know, you truly want to know?!” the girl screamed, voice high with agitation and full of scarcely suppressed emotions.

It seemed the child was not truly waiting for an answer and Abby would forever remember the strange mixture of seeming calmness and being in such a flustered state. The way Marie spoke in total sedateness and yet how haunted her gaze was. The child’s words made her stomach coil and bile rise in her throat.

“The queen instructed me on what to do …” a shudder visibly ran through the girl’s body as the memory played at the forefront of her mind “… I did not like to do it … it felt wrong and it made me feel sick … but the queen said … she …  she said that I did it right …” tears had begun to fall from her grey eyes and although Abby kept looking at the girl, it was obvious Marie was not seeing her anymore, she seemed lost in her own memories.

The door to the general’s quarters was suddenly opened and Abby whipped around, a snarl on the doctor’s lips. She kept her biting comment sealed behind her lips, as Anya and Ontari stepped inside and Marie’s quivering voice broke the silence again. It seemed the younger girl had not even realized the arrival of the other two.

“…she expected me to do it from then on … if I didn’t, she would touch me first …” Marie’s voice had a wooden quality to it.

Anya stopped in her tracks, struck by her charge’s words like lightening and she had to ball her hands to fists at her side. It worried her that Marie had not shown any outward reaction to their return and she had not expected that her charge would speak to Abby at all, she wondered how the doctor had managed to get her to talk. She was not convinced that speaking about what she had suffered through would truly be helpful to Marie.

“…it hurt so bad…” Marie sobbed out after a beat of silence and if possible, the girl seemed to get even smaller.

Abby let out an alarmed gasp. She still had not made a physical examination of the child, but if the girl’s words eluded to what she feared they did, she would need to take a closer look at the girl. Marie did not seem aware of her surroundings anymore and the anger radiating off of the general was worrying her. Abby motioned the general over into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind them.

“What?” Anya asked curtly, voice clipped and her brown eyes hard, her features pulled tight with her anger. The general was torn between wanting to return to Marie and engulf the girl in a strong hug and marching her unit to Nia’s hideout and skinning that monster herself.

“I can understand your anger, Anya” Abby started, not yielding to the warrior’s display of fury. She needed to think of Marie first and foremost, but she feared that the girl would not let herself be examined willingly like that. “I fear that I need to examine Marie” the doctor proclaimed, voice strained.

Anya’s eyebrows rose in obvious confusion “Clarke had already looked at her and said there was nothing which needed to be treated, beside the extensive scarring”.

Abby nodded “Yes, she did. But she would not have looked for internal damage. If there was any kind of penetration involved it is necessary to exclude such, or Marie could have complications later” her voice was heavy as she gave her explanation.

Anya paled at the Skykru’s doctor’s words and her blood seemed to freeze in her veins, as sour bile rose in her throat.

“It is probably better if Marie is sedated for that” Abby continued. She did not see any possibility to go trough with such a physical examination and not upset the traumatized girl even more if she was conscious.

A frown appeared on the general’s features. She did not like the idea of putting Marie into an unnatural sleep, so that the other woman could examine her. Was that not a kind of violation of the girl as well?

“It would diminish the stress for Marie” Abby reasoned, sensing the other woman’s hesitation “Examining her is truly necessary”.

Anya nodded with a sigh. “Why did she speak about it now so suddenly?” she asked the other woman before she could open the door again.

Abby shook her head “I told you that predicting the way Marie will work through the trauma she suffered is not possible. Just because she is speaking about it now, does not mean that is feeling better by any means, or that she will continue to speak about it at a later point”.

The general nodded again and her sharp features had lost their anger, her voice was barely beyond a whisper and she did not look into Abby’s eyes as she asked “How are we supposed to help her with this? I do not know what to say to her…”

Abby’s tight smile faltered slightly, she did not wish to overstep, but she stepped closer to the general and squeezed her shoulder for a moment in a reassuring gesture. “There is nothing we can say to Marie, which will truly make anything better for her. The girl needs to feel that she is safe again and protected. She needs to know that she does not have to fear a repetition of her treatment ever again. Marie needs to accept that she has been used against her will and that is was by no means her fault. But those things will sink in with time. It will not be easy to support her through this…” the doctor sighed under her breath as her words trailed off.

Abby’s eyes softened slightly at the obvious feelings of helplessness and she could understand how hard it was for the general to admit them to her of all people. The fact that the fierce woman was able to overlook her own pride and ask her for help signalled to Abby just how deeply Anya truly cared for Marie.

Anya nodded and the little signs of weakness and helplessness vanished from her posture as the general pulled herself back together. The general opened the door to the main room and stepped back, before Abby could say another word and the doctor followed her silently.

Surprisingly, it was Ontari who had already sprang into action during their short absence and the girl kneeled down in front of Marie. The younger girl was shaking almost uncontrollably now.

“Marie” the Ice Nation nightblood addressed the blonde girl in a soft and gentle tone. She pushed her own worries and confusion about what the changes with the Trikru general would mean to her, to the back of her mind, focusing her attention solely on the younger girl.

It seemed to take Marie long moments until she blinked a few times and a little focus returned to her grey eyes, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

Marie surprised both Anya and Abby by letting herself lean down against Ontari’s chest. Ontari gently enveloped the younger girl into her strong arms, stroking over her soft blonde hair and whispering nonsense words into her ears.

Anya watched with narrowed eyes how the Skykru doctor roamed through her back, pulling out a syringe and filling it with a clear liquid, what she guessed to be the sedative. She still did not feel comfortable with the thought of sedating her charge in the first place. She watched conflictedly how the doctor bent over Marie and simply quickly injected her with the sedative without any kind of forewarning.

Marie’s grey eyes snapped to the doctor in alarm when the slight stinging sensation of the application registered in her mind and her own confusion at what had just happened was mirrored within Ontari’s dark eyes.

“What was that?” Marie asked immediately, voice slightly shrill as she gave Ontari a careful push to make the older girl retreat a little from her space. Her grey eyes looked almost accusingly at Abby as she rubbed over the injection side.

Anya crouched down in front of Marie as well, addressing the girl in a soothing tone “You do not need to worry. It is merely a sedative. You will wake up soon”. The general tried to keep her own worry out of her tone, but she was not sure she succeeded completely, if Ontari’s threatening glare towards Abby was any indication.

Marie seemed to fight against the effects of the sedative, fighting her body trying to drift off and her voice quivered noticeably “I don’t wanna sleep …Anya…”

Being addressed by her charge in such a pleading tone and not being able to actually offer her more assistance than being close to her, pulled hard at Anya’s conscience.

She caught the girl’s body as the sedative took complete effect and Marie slumped forward.

Abby had the decency to look somewhat affected from Ontari’s protective antics, but she nonetheless directed Anya to place the girl’s unconscious body on a bed.

“You can wait outside…” Abby tried to offer to Anya, but the general resolutely shook her head in immediate denial.

Ontari watched in obvious alarmed confusion how the doctor started to undress the younger girl and Anya caught the girl staring at a dagger strapped to her own thigh.

“She needs to be examined for internal injuries” Abby explained to the dark-haired girl, trying to sooth her somewhat. Clarke had told her only briefly who the girl was, but it had been enough to understand that she should not underestimate Ontari and her desire to protect Marie might easily turn violent.

Ontari’s dark eyes seemed to widen in a mixture of disbelieve and confusion, but they switched from Abby to Anya.

The general had stepped closer to the bed and an almost pained expression seemed to linger on her face as she watched the doctor undress Marie efficiently.

“Ontari, wait outside” Anya ordered the Ice Nation nightblood without looking at her, keeping her eyes fixed on Marie’s relaxed features.

Ontari contemplated to object with the order, but the general’s words from earlier echoed through her mind. The general had asked her to trust her and predicted that she would not always agree with her orders, but that she expected to be obeyed without question nonetheless. A small part of her mind had to acknowledge that she did not truly wish to witness this kind of examination as the doctor started to bend Marie’s limps, exposing her genitals. The nightblood felt sick to her stomach suddenly and she turned abruptly storming out of the room, she did not know why she was shaking all of a sudden, or why there were tears burning in her eyes. She could not remember the last time, she had cried and she did not know, why she was so upset now.

Ontari was acutely aware of the guards watching her and she glared at them, with thinned lips. She had no idea, where to go now. Would the other novitiates be training now?

She was saved from having to stand on the corridor indecisively as the elevator opened at the end of the corridor and the commander herself swept out of it.

Lexa’s green eyes quickly took in the upset state of the nightblood girl. She did not know, why Ontari was standing on the corridor.

“Where are Anya and Marie?” the commander asked the dark-haired in a calm tone, the immediate worry apparent within her green eyes.

“Inside…” Ontari said, her voice suddenly refusing to work, as tears started to blur her gaze slightly and she forcefully tried to swallow, to steady herself again.

“Is Abby still with them?” Lexa questioned once again, but her worry now included Ontari. She had never seen the Ice Nation nightblood in such a state.

“She wants to examine her for internal damage…” Ontari answered monotonously, clenching her teeth together afterwards.

Lexa nodded slightly confused “Come with me” she ordered calmly. Anya would surely tell her later what this was supposed to mean and it was obvious Ontari should not be left on her own at the moment.


	168. Chapter 168

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The warning from last chapter still applies, so another heavy chapter.
> 
> Previously in chapter 167  
> Abby tries to get Marie to open up to her and speak about the rape. Marie does reveal something more and Abby insists to examine Marie again for internal damage.

Chapter 168

Abby was aware of the general’s brown eyes following her every move. She saw how the general stood beside the bed, her whole body tense. The woman seemed oddly misplaced standing there without any purpose.

She would have felt better examining the child without her constant watch, but Abby knew better than to try to convince the fierce Trikru woman again to step outside at least for a few minutes.

Abby started with the worse part of the examination. A worried frown flashed over her features, when the child’s body seemed to tense under her touch. Had the sedative not been strong enough?

Anya must have noticed the sudden tensing of Marie’s body as well and sat on the edge of the bed on the other side, trying not to stand in the way of the doctor. She gently grasped one of the girl’s hands into her own and caressed the smaller hand soothingly, hoping that Marie would feel her presence and it would calm her at least somewhat.

Anya had stopped watching the other woman inspect Marie’s body. She did not wish to truly see, what she was doing exactly, she kept her gaze locked on Marie’s features instead. The girl’s face kept on scrunching up with agitation and Anya caressed her cheek softly, murmuring reassurances to her unconscious charge.

Memories of being handled against her will and under the effects of sedation within the harvest chamber of Mount Weather invaded Anya’s mind unbidden and the general tried hard to shoo them from her thoughts again, as she felt the hairs on the back of neck rise in reaction of her body.

Time seemed to pass slowly as Abby continued with her examination. Anya only let go off the girl’s hand when Abby wanted to turn Marie onto her stomach and inspect her backside. Her mind was turmoiled with the question what had prompted Nia to subject Marie to such extreme measures of torture, the sweet child had done nothing to deserve such treatment.

Anya took over re-dressing Marie from Abby once the Skykru doctor took a step back from the bed, she did not wish for her charge to have to be exposed like this against her will for even a second longer than necessary.  

The general waited impatiently with a baited breath for Abby’s verdict of what she had found.

The doctor stored away her tools carefully, sorting through her thoughts before she addressed the waiting other woman relieving her from her obvious anticipation “I found some hymenal scarring and slight internal scarring in addition, so there definitely has been penetration involved, but it is unlikely she will require surgical treatment. It should heal on its own without any treatment with time.”

Anya’s brows knitted together in confusion, not understanding some of the terms Abby had used. But she instantly felt red hot anger course through her veins at the confirmation of just how far Nia had gone. If she ever came face to face with the Ice queen, the general was sure to inflict the most gruesome and slow death possible to the woman. She clenched her teeth together forcefully, trying to keep hold of her immense anger.

Abby’s almost tentative voice called Anya’s attention from her all-consuming fury at least partly. “Marie might experience some degree of discomfort resulting from the examination. She is bound to be confused, when she wakes, you need to be here for your charge then, Anya”.

The general nodded curtly, she would not leave the child on her own. She may be angry beyond imagination, but she would not abandon her duty to Marie again. Anya tried to calm herself forcefully, she would be of no help to Marie if she let go control of her emotions like that.

Abby sighed as she finished packing up her equipment in silence. She could not offer any more assistance here, so she nodded to the general in farewell and left her with her charge. Abby doubted Marie would confide into her anything after she had basically misused her trust to examine her in such an intimate way without discussing it with the child beforehand. The girl was bound to feel violated, but she had seen herself that Marie had obviously started to develop new trust for the general and as it seemed for the dark-haired girl as well.

Abby doubted that Marie would benefit from what had traditionally been a therapy executed by a psychologist. It would probably help the young girl better if the girl got into a routine in Polis. As Anya had said the girl had started to confide to Ontari and she was convinced she would continue to work through the trauma with the support of the general and the nightblood girl, maybe even the commander’s.

Her place was not within the capitol but with her own people and she wished to return, she did not feel well leaving Skykru in Markus’ hands alone. Clarke might hide it well, but it had been painfully obvious that her daughter still did not feel comfortable in her presence. Abby still wished to convince he daughter to return to Skykru, but she was not blind. Abby had seen how they had looked at each other, how they seemed to gravitate into each other’s direction subconsciously. She had seen that something had grown between Clarke and the commander, she did not understand it one bit, nor did she want to support a possible relationship between the two young women. Abby could not deny that she had gotten glimpses of a woman behind the persona of the commander, but how Clarke could have seemingly forgiven her for the betrayal at the Mountain, the doctor could not fathom. She knew her daughter well enough by now, Clarke would not leave the capitol willingly, so she had to accept her decision even though she did not share it.

Anya watched the Skykru doctor sweep from the room in silence and her brown eyes returned to Marie’s pale face. She still held the girl’s smaller hand and let her fingers glide over her knuckles gently, the repetitive motion felt soothing to herself as well.

It did not take long until Marie started to show signs after the sedative finally wearing off. The girl’s body tensed and the child turned onto her side slowly, curling in on herself, but her fingers closed around Anya’s hand.

“Marie…” Anya addressed her charge in a soft tone, giving her smaller hand a slight squeeze.

The girl groaned pitifully, as consciousness slowly returned to her.

“It is alright, _my little star_ ” Anya soothed the girl, keeping up her gentle caress of Marie’s fingers.

Marie’s grey eyes were confused and her voice had a whiny quality to it “It hurts…”.

The tears glistening inside her charge’s eyes felt like a physical punch to the gut to Anya and there was nothing she could do to take the child’s pain away. Marie seemed to curl herself together even tighter, but she kept a firm hold on Anya’s hand.

“It will fade” Anya promised in what she hoped to be a reassuring way. She did not know if Marie should be given a tea to help with her discomfort as Abby had not mentioned anything. It was obvious that her charge was confused of the origin of her physical pain, so she tried to explain that the Skykru doctor had to examine her to make sure that she would not suffer from any problems later.

Marie nodded with a miserable expression, the pain had faded before after all and no one had held her hand then.

 

Lexa motioned the Ice Nation nightblood in the direction of her quarters.

“Have you had something to eat after breakfast yet?” she asked the girl in a kind tone and when Ontari shook her head in the negative, Lexa ordered a guard to send for Alira. The commander had wondered why Anya had missed to attend the meeting in the afternoon, but she was sure her general would not have missed it out of carelessness.

Ontari followed the commander in silence, her expression still highly troubled. Her stomach seemed to roll uncomfortably at just the thought of eating anything now.

Lexa watched the younger girl step into her quarters with obvious unease. She had discussed Ontari’s inclusion in Marie’s education from now on with Anya. She agreed with the fact that Ontari still needed to learn a lot about life in general if she ever hoped to qualify as a justly commander. She had learnt enough about ruthlessness and strength, but compassion and wisdom had been mostly lacking from her upbringing. She had not shared a close bond to any of her novitiates so far, but on the other hand none of them had ever been this old.

She could not deny that the Ice Nation nightblood had changed a lot since she had arrived in the capitol, but Lexa still found it hard to truly trust her. The girl’s connection to Marie was honest though and it showed by how affected she clearly was by whatever had transpired before she had arrived in the top floor of the tower.

“Ontari, can you tell me, what has happened again?” Lexa questioned the younger nightblood after she had motioned her to sit down on the couch.

It was obvious Ontari still felt uncomfortable, she sat stiffly and tense on the couch, ready to spring up any second.

Ontari took a deep breath, but she nodded and said “The general …” she started, but corrected herself quickly “I mean, Anya, she talked with me in the woods around Polis. We left Marie with the Skykru doctor. Anya said I could become a sort of second to her …”

Lexa nodded in acknowledgement, she had known already that Anya would propose exactly that to the Ice Nation nightblood.

“…when we returned Marie did not even realize so …” Ontari narrated and her dark eyes were shining with concern for the younger girl “… she said …” Ontari’s voice broke slightly.

“It is alright” Lexa promised in a reassuring tone and kept her expression neutral and encouraging, waiting for the other nightblood to continue.

“I don’t know, what Marie had said before, but when we entered, she seemed so far away…” Ontari continued after a few moments, her voice heavy and quivering slightly “…she said that Nia expected her to do something for her … we have not heard what … but …” she broke off again.

“But what?” Lexa prodded in a soft tone and waited again. She was surprised to notice tears shining in the dark girl’s eyes.

“She said, that Nia would touch her…” Ontari’s voice screeched slightly and her hands balled into tight fists “…she would touch her first… and how it had hurt…”

Ontari’s voice gave out again and Lexa could see her trying to blink away the tears, but failing and a tear slide down her cheek, she whipped it away immediately, almost furious with herself.

Lexa had to take a deep breath herself at this revelation. She had feared that Nia would not have stopped at anything, but she had hoped that Marie had been spared at least something. She stood from the armchair and started pacing angrily in front of the fireplace.

Ontari had obviously not been finished yet with her narration and Lexa turned to the face the younger nightblood, when she had regained her voice, it still shook noticeably though.

“The Skykru doctor said she needed to be checked for internal damage…” Ontari seemed to breathe almost furiously now “… she sedated her without any kind of forewarning …” the accusation was palpable in her tone, but it turned to confused horror a second later “…she undressed Marie and the examination looked horrible … Anya had sent me out only moments before you arrived” the nightblood finished, whipping away new tears running down her cheeks.

Lexa nodded in understanding.

A knock announcing Alira’s arrival interrupted Lexa before she could say anything in response and the commander was internally grateful for the interruption.

The handmaid already carried a tray with dinner, it would suffice for the both of them. The older woman was visibly confused to find the commander in the company of the Ice Nation nightblood, but she did not say anything as she placed the dinner on the table.

Lexa was trying hard to keep hold on to a calm façade. Her emotions and thoughts were in deep uproar, but she would not show that in front of Ontari.

Alira went around the room calmly, stoking the fire, collecting clothing for the laundry and lighting various candles.

“Eat” Lexa ordered the younger nightblood girl calmly and sat back down opposite of Ontari.

The girl looked at her with an almost tortured expression, but she obediently took something from the plate and started to eat.

Lexa’s brows knitted together, when the girl suddenly sprung to her feet only a few seconds later with a frantic look in her dark eyes.

“Ontari…” Lexa addressed the girl sternly, while Ontari suddenly bend over in the middle of the room and vomited what she had just forced herself to eat.

Alira watched the proceedings with a sigh “I will prepare a tea” she said to the commander and send a guard for one of her younger handmaidens to clean the mess up again.

Lexa felt a small surge of guilt at seeing the nightblood in such a state. It was obvious that her being a witness to it, only added to her discomfort.

“It is alright, Ontari” she assured the girl calmly and stepped closer to her, motioning her to sit down again, but being close enough to steady her, should she falter.

“I am sorry…” Ontari offered faintly once Alira offered a cup with streaming tea to her.

The commander shook her head “It is understandable that your stomach is upset, there is nothing to apologize for” she told her firmly.

Lexa had to force herself to eat something as well. No matter what she took, it seemed to turn into dust in her mouth and she forcefully had to swallow at least a few bites.

It was obvious Ontari was lost in her own thoughts. The girl turned the cup in her hands absentminded and her dark eyes seemed to watch nothing in particular.

Lexa dismissed both handmaidens, once Alira had finished and the mess had been cleaned, with a simple waving gesture.

The commander was lost in her own thoughts and she did not catch the whispered question from Ontari at first, but she felt her dark eyes fixed on herself questioningly.

She waited for the nightblood to repeat her question and her heart gave a painful tug, when she finally understood the single word.

“Why?” the simple word kept on resonating loudly within the commander’s mind and she felt a strange mixture of helplessness and anger coursing through her veins. She had asked herself the same question already for what felt like a thousand times, but she had not come up with a reasonable answer. There simply was no explanation, nothing could justify what Nia had done to Marie.

Lexa shook her head, feeling her eyes misting over with tears as well, but she chose to focus on the anger instead “There is no reason, Ontari. Nia is simply a vile creature…” her voice shook slightly with barely suppressed fury and she clenched her jaw together tightly.

Ontari nodded “I see that now” she agreed honestly. She had already understood before that Nia had not been as honest in her intentions, as she had been made to believe. But now, even she was unable to keep on the almost holy image of the Ice queen in her mind, she had painted as a child.

“Will she survive that?” Ontari suddenly asked.

Lexa frowned slightly at the seemingly off-hand question, not understanding where it should be hinting at and she looked at the girl with a raised brow in silence, waiting for her to elaborate.

Ontari sighed under her breath. She had no idea, if the general had told the commander everything she had heard the night before. But hearing that Marie had contemplated to kill herself, had shocked her beyond reason and the irrational fear stayed within her mind, that the girl could still be harbouring such tendencies. She did not wish to break Marie’s trust, but she thought that commander would need to know.

“I do not know, if or what the general told you about Marie’s conversation with me last night” she started, trying to regain some calmness “But Marie had said that she had thought about killing herself, to end her suffering…” she could not force her voice to remain steady, the shock of this realization still too fresh and deep.

Lexa’s frown deepened visibly. Anya had failed to mention this aspect to her yet. Abby had already told them that people who suffered through something like Marie had, sometimes developed suicidal thoughts, but they had not been aware that the girl already had had them. She felt something clench inside her painfully at this new piece of information. At least the younger nightblood’s question made perfect sense now.

She answered it resolutely though “Marie is strong. She will survive and get stronger” the commander assured Ontari and her green eyes connected intently with her dark ones. Lexa did not feel as confident about this sentiment, as she tried to appear in front of her oldest novitiate. But she needed to believe within her own words.

The most logical consequence was that Marie truly could not be left alone for now, until they were sure the girl had recovered. Lexa knew, it would destroy Anya and probably herself, if their charge simply gave up and ended her life, they would not allow that, they could not.

Marie was strong, she had no doubt about that fact in her mind. The girl had possessed a strength already when she had met her for the very first time. Lexa hoped that their combined support would be enough for Marie to re-connect with her own strength again.


	169. Chapter 169

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 168  
> Abby examines Marie and decides that she will leave Polis again. Anya stays with the girl until she wakes up. Lexa speaks with Ontari about Marie and hears the full extent of what Nia has done to her.

Chapter 169

When Clarke returned from her rounds through the streets of Polis, visiting those patients who were unable to make their way to the tower themselves, the better time of the day had already passed.

The blonde sighed under her breath, she had hoped to find some time to see Lexa in between the many of the commander’s duties. But she understood now, just how thinly spread the young leader truly was. She absolutely no idea how the brunette had managed to lead the grounders with such success without collapsing and caving in from sheer exhaustion and stress.

Clarke’s thoughts halted abruptly and stopped their circling around Lexa, when she promptly ran into her mother as she set foot into the basement of the tower.

As if against her conscious will and more a reflex from her subconsciousness, Clarke felt her features harden, as she mentally prepared for the confrontation she was expecting. She was not foolish enough to believe that her mother had finally accepted that she would never regard Arkadia as her home.

“How did it go with Marie?” Clarke asked before her mother could say anything, hoping to keep her attention on Marie and away from herself.

“As well as it could” Abby answered her daughter, but she wanted to speak to her in privacy.

Clarke’s brows furrowed at the request to speak in her quarters, but she nodded. She sighed, it was late enough already that Lexa could have returned early from a meeting. She knew that the other woman had wanted to find time to spend it with Marie, trying to re-connect with her slowly. So, it was absolutely possible that Lexa would already be within her quarters. Clarke had moved over into the commander’s quarters weeks ago and she had no idea, if the quarters she had been assigned before, were still available.

“We should speak in your quarters” Clarke grumbled out, fighting hard to keep herself from blushing. She did not know, if her mother had already caught on with just how deep her relationship with Lexa had grown. She had not truly planned to speak about it with her mother anyway; she thought they had long passed the right moment to have a mother-daughter talk. Since her father’s execution their relationship had never been the same and Clarke did not feel inclined to try to change much about that. She was finally at home and at peace in Polis, she did not need her mother’s blessing for that.

Abby slightly narrowed her eyes in suspicion at her daughter, but she nodded mutely. She knew that such discussion should not be held in the halls, where they did not know, who would be listening to them.

“You have been out all day to visit patients?” Abby asked, switching the conversation to a lighter topic. She had heard talk about just how involved Clarke was now as a healer in Polis, it seemed her daughter had managed to carve herself another title beside Wanheda and she had heard that she was well respected in the capitol.

Clarke nodded curtly, she enjoyed working as a healer. She could not discourage all of her patients from calling her Wanheda, but she could live with the title of a healer far easier and most of her patients accepted her wishes to be called just that when they finally noticed just how uneasy the name of Wanheda made her. Lexa and Anya both had tried to explain to her several times that Wanheda was a title of great honour for them, but she did not wish to be honoured in such a way.

She sighed under her breath, although her mother seemed to try quite hard to hide her disappointment at their continued distance, she still saw it flashing through her eyes. So, Clarke elaborated in what she hoped to be a friendlier tone “The citizens of Polis have accepted me well as a healer. A handful of healers work in the tower and I have found my place with them”.

Abby nodded and after she had swallowed forcefully, she commented in an honest tone “I am proud of what you are doing, Clarke”.

“Thank you” Clarke nodded quickly and averted her eyes again.

Fortunately, they had reached the small quarters which had been assigned to her mother, located in the middle of the tower and she followed her inside.

“What had you wanted to talk about?” Clarke asked immediately. She could see in the tenseness of her mother’s whole posture, that she would fail to divert her attention, if she tried to.

“I will leave Polis and head back to Arkadia as soon as possible” Abby proclaimed curtly.

Clarke nodded with a slight frown, mentally preparing herself for the argument she was convinced would follow and she hardened herself even further. There was nothing her mother could say to sway her mind and leave Lexa. She was sure the brunette would let her leave immediately, without even trying to argument with her, simply because she was such a self-sacrificing person, that it almost hurt to think of her in such a way. Clarke had needed along time to understand just how far Lexa’s devotion and willingness to put all and everyone’s needs before her own. In the back of her mind the argument she had had with Lexa the prior night was still fresh and she was convinced a small part of the young leader would even be relieved if she were to leave Polis and return to Arkadia, away from the dangers she was put in simply by being close to Lexa.

Clarke lightly shook her head, to shoo such thoughts from her mind. She would not willingly leave Lexa, not now, not ever. “I will not come with you, so don’t even try to…” Clarke retorted in a hard tone, not giving her mother any room to try to sway her mind.

She was surprised by the open defeat on her mother’s features for a moment. She had expected anger and probably a screamed tirade, but seeing her mother like this, felt worse somehow.

“I know” Abby acknowledged in a tired tone “You have found your place here, I can see that…”

“But?” Clarke checked, eyes still slightly hardened. She had never expected her mother to give up so easily.

“I hope you know what you are doing with the commander” Abby commented, voice slightly cautious, but still tinted with a hint of criticism.

Clarke’s lips thinned visibly “Who has told you …?” she begun to ask, but was interrupted quickly.

“I am your mother, Clarke” Abby shook her head with a sigh “I am not blind. I see the way you look at each other. You may think to be subtle…” she paused for a second “… why her?”

Clarke looked away for a moment before she answered truthfully “I love her, mom”.

Abby nodded “I truly hope you know what you are doing…” her voice trailed off tiredly. A relationship between her daughter and the commander could turn into disaster for all of them.

Clarke inclined her head in a nod “I do” her voice was full of conviction.

Abby nodded again “I will not be able to offer any real help to Marie. So, I can return to Arkadia as well”

She would tell Raven in the morning; the young mechanic was having a blast in the capitol. Raven had spent most of her time with Monty, when the boy was not in meetings and he had shown the capitol to her. Some of the vendors in the streets had various pieces of old tech from the previous world and to Raven it seemed like she was a child in a candy shop. Abby guessed they would return to Arkadia with much more baggage than they had come with.

Clarke furrowed her brow in obvious confusion “She still has not said anything to you?” she checked. Clarke had held onto the hope that Marie would open up to her mother.

Abby shook her head “No, she did. But it is unlikely she will again and I doubt she truly needs a therapy in this sense”.

Clarke’s confusion was only increasing and it must have shown on her face.

“Marie confessed today that the rape the Ice queen subjected her to included forceful penetration” Abby explained.

Clarke gasped loudly in reaction and she paled visibly. She felt a painful tug of compassion for Marie, but not just for the poor child, but for Lexa and Anya as well. She knew that both of them blamed themselves at least partly, for what had happened to their charge.

“I needed to examine her for internal damage to exclude that she would need surgery or face problems later. So, I sedated her and examined her” Abby continued, tone forcefully kept light and calm “The scarring is fortunately only light, so there is no need for any treatment.”

Clarke nodded against the huge lump lodged deeply in her throat.

“Marie has started to find trust for Anya and this older girl, Ontari you said was her name” Abby added “They will be better versed to truly help her. Working through such a trauma will take time. She will probably forever carry the scars of that on her soul”.

Clarke nodded again in agreement. She knew that it might take a long time for the young girl to recover and truly overcome what had happened to her. There was no possibility to push her through her recovery either, it would need to happen in her own pacing.

“How has she taken the examination?” Clarke asked, voice noticeably shaken.

Abby shook her head “I left before she woke up again, but Anya stayed with her”.

Clarke frowned lightly, but nodded her understanding “I should check in with them” and she did not mean only Marie and Anya, but primarily Lexa as well. The revelation would be crushing to both women, there was no doubt about that in her mind.

Abby nodded in understanding and watched her daughter stride from the room with a sinking heart. It almost felt as if she had lost her somehow again, but she had to accept that Clarke was old enough to make her own decisions now.

Clarke walked through the halls with quick strides and impatiently tapped her foot as the elevator carried her to the top floor of the tower.

She hovered in front of the door to the general’s quarters indecisively, as she glanced over to the commander’s chambers.

Clarke decided to check in on with Marie first, the girl had probably already woken up from her mother’s sedative or was it least in the process of finally waking.

She lightly knocked on the door to announce her arrival, she had learned long ago that the general never invited someone inside, but her doors were only guarded when the Trikru woman was actually present, only Lexa’s quarters were guarded at all times.

Clarke instantly spotted Anya sitting on the edge of Marie’s bed. The general immediately looked up at the intrusion, but she continued to hold on to the girl’s hand.

Clarke tentatively smiled at the younger girl kindly “How are you feeling, Marie?” she asked in a calm tone.

Marie’s grey eyes shortly connected with Clarke’s blue ones, but the child quickly looked away, pulling her knees slightly towards her chest with a slight groan.  

“Marie, you were asked something” Anya chided her charge “Answer her” although her voice was still gentle, an undertone of strictness had appeared.

Marie mumbled something incomprehensible as response, pulling the general’s hand closer to her chest.

Clarke frowned slightly, it was obvious the girl was not feeling well, she guessed that a slight rest of the sedative would still remain within her system, making her whinier. The way the child clung to Anya’s arm would have been comical, if not for the dire situation.

A mixture of irritation and worry was apparent on the general’s features at her charge’s antics. “She complained about pain” Anya answered Clarke’s question “I do not know if she should get a tea against that”.

Clarke nodded “If Marie does not feel nauseas, there should be no harm in giving her a tea against the pain. She should feel better after a few hours of sleep.” She knew the girl would still feel slightly confused as an aftereffect of the sedative, but it would be worn off in the morning.

“I can prepare one for her now” Clarke offered calmly, with a tight smile, which felt slightly forced.

It was still obvious how taxing the whole situation was to the general as well and it would probably take weeks of small progress and a lot of backsteps for Marie to recover.

Anya nodded mutely, Marie’s grip on her hand was surprisingly strong and the position her arm was twisted in now was anything but comfortable. She sighed under her breath, sweeping a blonde lock from the girl’s forehead gently. It was odd, how the girl now clung to her and seemed so unwilling to let go, when she did not trust her anymore at all.

Clarke walked through the room in silence, she heard Anya whispering some what she assumed to be reassuring words to Marie, as she prepared a tea for Marie. As an afterthought she added valerian to the mixture. It would truly be better for Marie to simply sleep it off now.

She handed the tea over to Anya, when Marie did not show any reaction to the cup at all.

“I will go over to Lexa now” Clarke proclaimed, but was stopped by Anya.

“Was Ontari still outside?” the general asked. She had completely forgotten about the nightblood girl. With a small twinge of guilt, she realized that she had not even told her where to go at all.

Clarke shook her head “I have not seen her”.

Anya coursed under her breath. She had promised the nightblood to be her first only mere hours ago and had already forgotten about her.

“I am sure, she is fine” Clarke reassured the general quickly. She noticed that Marie had uncurled herself slightly and was watching both of them minutely. “I will ask a guard of her location” she proclaimed “Drink the tea, Marie” she addressed the girl.

Marie’s grey eyes narrowed at the healer and Anya hissed slightly, when the girl’s grip got even firmer on her hand.

“Marie, you need to let go now, to drink the tea” Anya reasoned with the girl, trying to pry her fingers lose from the child’s vice like grip. Who knew Marie would be able to exert such strength. Internally it worried her deeply to see her charge so obviously distraught and not truly expressing it either. She was not sure if she would have preferred for the girl to cry in her sorrow.

Getting Marie to let go of her hand proved to be impossible. It almost seemed as if she was the girl’s lifeline at the moment. Anya could not hinder her mind with coming up of an image of the girl curled in on herself and no one there to offer her any kind of support.

Clarke returned quickly telling the general that the commander had taken the nightblood with her into her quarters.

Anya nodded only absentminded, still occupied with trying to convince Marie to drink the tea.

“Marie…” the general tried to pry her fingers loose again, which only prompted Marie to tighten her grip.

“Marie, you will feel better when you drink the tea” Anya tried to reason with her charge and took her other hand, gently losing the girl’s fingers.

Marie’s expression was almost pitiful when the general finally had her hand freed again. The woman carefully pulled her charge into a sitting position and forced the cup of tea into her hand.

The girl took the cup in silence, glancing at Anya shortly, before she only watched the swirl of the liquid in the cup, as she moved the cup through her fingers.

Anya thinned her lips “Drink the tea” she repeated, tone sharper again and the girl’s eyes snapped up immediately. The almost palpable fear in them at her even only slightly raised voice, tore painfully at Anya’s conscience, but the girl obeyed now and drank the tea rather quickly. Internally the general hoped Marie was not scalding her tongue with the way she gulped down the brew so rapidly now.

She frowned slightly when Marie turned on her side facing away from her promptly after handing back the drained cup. The continued silence around the girl irked her to no end.

Her frown only deepened when the girl seemed to fall asleep only a few moments later. Had Clarke given the girl something more than just something against the pain?

Her question was halted when the door to her quarters was opened again and Ontari stepped back inside. The nightblood still looked rather pale and shaken, but her frown deepened when she spotted a tray with dinner in her hands.

“The commander asked me to bring that over” Ontari explained and her dark eyes immediately sought out Marie’s form under the furs.

“Thank you” Anya acknowledged quietly and stepped around the bed, checking mutely that Marie had indeed fallen asleep. She noticed with a slight frown, that even now the child’s features looked troubled.

She did not feel particularly hungry, but she ate something nonetheless.

“Wanheda said that Marie should sleep until dawn” Ontari added shortly.

Anya inclined her head in acknowledgment mutely. The unspoken tension in the room was nearly palpable and it was obvious neither the general nor the nightblood truly felt comfortable in each other’s presence, but their worry over Marie connected them to each other.

Anya sighed under her breath. The nightblood was actually already way too old for her to share a sleeping space, even Marie was on the verge of being old enough to get her own room. Getting used to share her space with Marie had been relatively easy from the beginning, but the general had the distinct presumption that it would not go as smoothly with Ontari, added to the fact that Marie still behaved completely out of character.

“Have you eaten?” the general asked her newly charge. Anya knew she needed to start to think of Ontari as more of just a connection to Marie, anything else would not be fair to the nightblood girl.

Ontari shook her head and a slight blush appeared on her cheeks.

Anya’s brows knitted together in confusion at the untypical reaction, so far, she had seen the nightblood girl as very controlled and tight in her emotions.

“The commander offered something to eat already” Ontari said, slight reluctance and, if Anya interpreted her expression correctly, shame colouring her tone. “I threw up on her floor…”

Anya nodded in silent acknowledgment, watching Marie like this must have upset the older girl way more deeply than she had anticipated. She would need to express her gratitude to Lexa for looking after the nightblood earlier.

“It is late already” Anya said, not trying to embarrass the girl even further. Ontari seemed to understand the unspoken order without further explanation and started to get ready for the night in silence. Anya hoped the morning would be easier again, but she highly doubted so. 


	170. Chapter 170

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to update a few times over the next days. But I am off work, because I am sick and barely able to keep a straight thought, so writing is sadly not an option.
> 
> Previously in chapter 169  
> Clarke gets confronted with her mother. Abby proclaims her wishes to return to Arkadia, not feeling like she can help Marie again after the examination. Abby knows about the relationship between Clarke and Lexa, she does not approve, but she does not try to get Clarke back to Skykru either. Anya deals with Marie after the sedative wears of.

Chapter 170

Anya’s slight hope that dealing with Marie in the morning would have gotten any easier, had been completely in vain.

The night itself had passed rather uneventful. The general had not heard the girl wake up and vomit again, so she took that as at least something.

The deep dark circles forming under Marie’s grey eyes, a sign she had clearly not slept as much as Anya had anticipated, worried the general.

Marie in fact had woken up some time after both Anya and Ontari had gotten into bed as well. The candles had still been burning and were casting shadows through the room. She had woken up, tense and rigid, cold sweat coating her brow and Marie felt the echo of the familiar pain lingering in her body, disorienting her at first. She had laid in the bed, barely allowing herself to breath, afraid of feeling the queen’s arms pulling her closer again.

She did not know how it had taken her to realize that she was in fact not back in the queen’s bed. Marie noticed with a slight frown not just one sound of breathing, but the breaths of a second person and slowly the memories from the previous day came crawling back into her mind.

Now that she tried to take her surrounding in more deeply, she realized it was warmer in the room than the queen’s quarters had ever been. The furs around her body felt different and were softer somehow, although she was not entirely sure that was not only a trick of her mind.

Turning around in her bed, which was considerably smaller than the queen’s bed, Marie could spot Anya lying in the bed on the one side and Ontari on her other side. She felt her frantically beating heart slowly coming back to normal as she pressed her eyes closed again, repeating in her mind over and over again, that she was safe here.

Marie abruptly opened her eyes again, curling in on herself under the furs and pulling them thigther around her frame. Although the temperature of the room was comfortable, she was shivering strongly and her body did not seem to want to stop. Whenever she closed her eyes, she would feel the queen’s breaths ghosting over neck, her hands pulling her closer, her fingers almost clawing at her skin. Her shivering only increased and Marie let out a small pained whimper, trying to shoo the images from her mind, burnt into her memory forever.

She seemed to be lucky and she had not woken either Ontari nor Anya. Marie was relatively sure they would not have minded.

She remembered the reassuring feeling of Anya holding her hand as she had woken up a few hours ago. Anya had explained to her that the pain she now felt came from an examination.

The thought of the examination brought the Skykru doctor back to her mind and Marie felt anger boiling in her blood. If it were possible, she would go back a few hours and stop herself from letting the words about what had happened with the queen pass through her lips. She wished she could go back and take them back, make sure she never spoke of them ever again.

Speaking to Ontari had been different. The girl had been there with her after all.

Marie pondered the question of why she had spoken to the Skykru doctor at all the whole night, but she had not come up with a reason. It was easier to focus her mind on this question, than letting her thoughts wander to what Abby had said to her.

She watched how the candles finally burnt down, her eyes were already burning from the exhaustion of keeping them open forcefully. Marie felt the distinct desire to stand up and light the candles again or to at least have something which would cast light through the room, but that would surely wake Anya and Ontari.

So, Marie waited through the night, trying to keep her eyes open and not fall back asleep. She was sure that she would only wake from another nightmare, if she did. Marie could have cried in relive, when the first signs of light started to filter through the curtain, proclaiming the impeding dawn, and Anya finally woke and stood up, going into the bathroom at once

Marie sat up in her bed, keeping the furs pulled to her chest. The pain which still had been coursing through her body during the last evening, had thankfully faded and only left a weird awareness behind, which she internally hoped would vanish completely during the day. Ontari seemed to be asleep still, so Marie simply waited in silence for Anya to finish and come out of the bathroom again.

She completely ignored the general’s clearly worried eyes following her every move and did not say a single word, when she slipped out of the bed and went into the bathroom herself, a stack of clothes already in her hand.

Anya sighed as she watched Marie retreat into the bathroom. She had feared already that Marie’s nightmares would have returned with vengeance. Judging from the exhaustion which had been clearly written on the girl’s features, she could not have slept for more than an hour or two. Anya wondered just how the girl had managed to learn to wake up in silence from her nightmares, but she shooed the question from her mind. She could imagine the answer and it would not have been pleasant. But how was she to help Marie, if she did not even realize the girl was suffering?

Supplying her charge with sleep tonics did not seem like a real solution. It would make Marie sleep without nightmares, of course, but Abby had said that working through her trauma in her sleep was an important step to heal.

Before she had taken the girl to hunt, Marie’s sleep had gotten better again. Lexa and she had been sure that their charge would probably be able to sleep through the night, without both of them with her. But even that would not help Marie now, Anya judged that sharing a bed with the child now, would only increase her uneasiness.

The arrival of a handmaid bringing in breakfast woke Ontari as well.

It was obvious that the Ice Nation nightblood was on guard around Anya and the unfamiliar handmaid as well.

Anya sighed under her breath, internally wondering why she had even proposed this idea to Lexa in the first place. Now she had to deal not just with Marie, which was exhausting on its own, but with the nightblood in addition.

At least Ontari did not ignore the presence of the other two women and greeted both with cautious politeness. Her dark eyes quickly searched for Marie in the small room, but sounds coming through the door to the bathroom, gave away the younger girl’s attention before she could truly worry over her absence. e

Anya’s frown deepened when Marie did not return after a few minutes. Snatches of the conversation between Marie and Ontari dealing with the fact that her charge had contemplated to end her own life, flashed through her mind unbidden and a sense of dread grew in her stomach. She did not wish to have to worry for Marie every second, she was not in her eyesight.

Ontari caught up with the tenseness in the general’s features quiet quickly an she saw her brown eyes darting to the door to the bathroom every few moments.

The handmaid had left after some time. The laundry was collected, the fire stocked again and the room quickly tidied up in silence.

Anya broodily turned the cup with tea in her hand fitfully. The sounds coming from the bathroom had stopped some time ago and her stomach coiled uncomfortably without any further sign of Marie. There should not be any blade within the bathroom, so Marie should not be able to slit her wrists or throat open. Would she even do that? Anya truly had no answer to that question any longer. But the bathing tube still had held enough water to drown herself in, with enough willpower.

Breathing out a frustrated sigh, Anya stood from her chair, her patience with waiting snapping and she rapped against the door strongly “Are you finished?” she called inside and strained her ears for an answer.

Ontari watched the restless general with a frown. She did not understand what had her worried to that obvious degree. She wondered, why no one had called her to the morning training until she remembered that the general would oversee her training personally from now on. She internally hoped the general would not be set on accidentally killing herself in combat training, like she strongly suspected the flamekeeper to secretly have hoped for.

Anya had her fist raised to rap against the door again, when Marie had not answered for several minutes, but the door was pulled open from the inside, revealing the blonde girl standing behind it, with a deep scowl on her face.

It took Anya a moment before she realized the reason for her charge’s frustration. Marie had obviously tried to replicate the hairstyle, she had designed for her the day before. But she had failed tremendously at it, her blonde hair looked like a total mess.

Ontari had looked around the general and spotted Marie as well. While the general forcefully kept herself from laughing, the nightblood did not and let out loud laughter.

Marie narrowed her grey eyes at the older girl, her anger obviously mounting, but Ontari did not look impressed at all.

Anya was torn between trying to reassure Marie that there was no reason to be upset and reprimanding Ontari for laughing at the younger girl.

“It does not look like you achieved the look you tried to” Ontari breathed out, still laughing “If you were not trying to look like you fought off a flock of bird, wanting to nest on your head, that is?”

Marie’s eyes narrowed further, but she at least broke her silence “Of course not” she grumbled out, clearly angry with herself and crossed her arms over chest sullenly.

“Pity” Ontari deadpanned, voice still coloured with amusement “Would have been perfect for that”.

The reprimand died on Anya’s tongue and she realized with a flash of an emotion she could not quiet name for the moment, that Ontari did in fact not have any problems on how to deal with Marie. She would have thought that the dark wit and sarcasm she could wield like a sword in battle, would only further unsettle Marie, but the opposite seemed to be the case.

The younger girl was glaring quiet fiercely at Ontari, her lips thinned in silent anger, as she started to try to untangle her hair again. Some of the red bands had obviously gotten knotted up though and she only pulled at them unsuccessfully.

Anya tried to keep her own lips from pulling into an amused smirk and motioned Marie to sit down at the table “Sit” she ordered and she told Ontari to get ready as well. The nightblood nodded and Anya inclined her head in silent acknowledgment at the girl, when she spotted a flash of uncertainty within the depths of her dark eyes.

Marie startled visibly, when Anya slapped her hands from her hair without forewarning and simply started to take over the task of untangling the mess on her head. “Eat” Anya ordered, while her fingers began their work. Marie shortly glanced over her shoulder at the general, a slightly unsettled expression on her face.

“There is no need for you to do your hair yourself” Anya reassured after a moment of silence.

Marie frowned and although the general could not see the girl’s expression, she could guess her reaction without having to see it.

“I should be able to do that” Marie grumbled under her breath, only nibbling at a dry piece of bread reluctantly. Her stomach felt much too queasy to stomach anything really and she had no feeling of hunger. She remembered vividly how impatient Echo had pulled and tugged at her hair, showing her how to braid it. She had not seen the woman often during her time with the Ice queen and she wondered why the woman had brought her to the queen at all. Echo had instilled in her that needing someone to do your hair for you, was weakness; baring your neck to someone else was a sign of trust and trust was deadly and a weakness as well.

Anya shook her head in the negative, keeping her fingers gentle as they worked through Marie’s blonde hair. The girl had truly done a number on it, how she had managed to knot it together like this, was beyond any reason to Anya. “You are the commander’s second” Anya explained, voice firm but still kind “So, your hairstyle reflects your position of honour. It is too elaborate for you to attempt yourself”.

Marie’s scowl deepened in reaction “I want another one then…” she grumbled.

Anya had to strain her hearing to catch the girl’s complaint and she tugged at the girl’s hair in silent warning to mind her tongue “That is not for you to decide” her voice had gotten sharper, but her fingers got gentler again.

Marie sighed under her breath, but nodded in silent acceptance. She bit at her lip uncertainly, insolence had not been tolerated at all by the queen. She had started to accept it as a given that the general would not hurt her physically, but she still did not feel particularly comfortable with the woman standing behind her back and now braiding her hair. Fortunately, the general was obviously well practised and finished with her hair quiet quickly.

Ontari returned to the room just as Anya had finished with Marie’s hair and had sat down again to resume her own breakfast.

Anya frowned at Marie’s plate, it did not look at all like the girl had eaten anything. Ontari’s plate looked more or less full still as well.

“Eat” Anya repeated glancing to both of her charge’s “Both of you” she added for clarity.

Surprise flashed through Ontari’s dark eyes to be included like this as well, but she nodded mutely, sliding back into her own seat.

Marie’s reaction was more of a defiant nature. The young girl shoved the plate away from her, crossing her arms over her chest sullenly again and she glared at Anya “Not hungry” she informed the woman through clenched teeth.

Anya pinched the bridge of her nose, her patience being close to wearing out already. She distinctly remembered that Abby had warned them about the fact that Marie would most likely test all of those around her quickly on how far she would be able to push them. The almost defiant glint in Marie’s grey eyes seemed to be prove to Abby’s prediction, but Anya could also see a slight shadow of fear in the girl’s features.

“Do you feel sick?” the general asked keeping her tone firm and her brown eyes inquiring.

Marie shrugged her shoulders, her arms still crossed over her chest, but she did not elaborate.

“I have told you before that I expect more of an answer than a shrug” Anya snapped sharply at the young girl, which clearly startled Marie.

“A little” the girl finally relented, but she looked at the wall now, turning her face away from the table, arms still firmly crossed in front of herself.

Anya sighed, a slight sliver of worry crossing through her mind. Had Abby overlooked something in her examination? But she recalled that the doctor had said that sleeping problems as well as nausea would be normal signs of the trauma still working through Marie’s system.

“The healers have a tea to settle your stomach” Anya said, standing from the table and quickly ordering a guard posted outside their door to call for such a tea. She could hear Ontari conversing with Marie lowly behind her back.

“You need to eat” Ontari tried to intone to the younger girl under her breath, dark eyes expressing her worry for Marie.

Marie’s grey eyes connected with Ontari’s gaze and she shrugged slightly, uneasiness written clearly over her features “I will just vomit…” she retorted lowly to the nightblood.

“That is what the tea is for” Anya remarked, having caught Marie’s answer as she returned to the table. “Ontari is right though, you do need to eat. Your body needs the nourishment to retain your strength. How do you expect to train otherwise?” she questioned the girl’s logic.

Marie nodded, looking at the plate still filled with food with a doubtful expression. As she stretched out her hand to grab another piece of bread, the only thing she hoped which would not unsettle her stomach even further, Anya’s hand shot out and took her wrist in a light grip, stopping her movement efficiently.

“Wait for the tea” the general ordered in an even tone and instantly let go of the girl’s wrist again. She did not wish for her charge to force herself to eat, only to vomit it out later again, which Ontari had obviously done the evening before. That would surely not help her body either. But they would need to find a solution for the girl’s sleeping problem as well. If she did not sleep and tried to evade sleep, she would only collapse at some time in the near future when her body finally gave out.


	171. Chapter 171

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 170  
> The night and the morning after the examination are hard for Marie and Anya has to adjust on how to deal with her charge.

Chapter 171

Marie was glad to realize that the tea had truly helped and she did not feel as queasy anymore. She still did not feel any real hunger, so she had stopped eating as soon as the general seemed to be remotely satisfied with the amount of food Marie had forced down her throat. Food had lost its appeal to her a long time ago and nothing seemed to have any taste anymore, but she did not voice her feeling to either Ontari or Anya.

She listened intently as Anya discussed with a woman who had introduced herself as the lead healer of the tower about teas she could be given to help with her sleep. Marie narrowed her eyes in confusion, she was positive she had not woken the general during the night. So, how did the woman even know she had not slept properly?

It was obvious quickly that the healer, Laurel was her name which Marie filed away in her mind, was convinced that providing sleeping tonics to her was not a good idea in the long run. Marie scowled slightly, the idea of being able to sleep without any nightmares sounded enticing and she did not really care that they could be addictive. So, what? She could just keep on drinking them then and not have to fear another nightmare at all, it sounded like a very sound plan to her.

Marie watched on intently when the woman showed a few variations of sleeping tonics to the general, listing off advantages and disadvantages of the concoctions. She tried to remember exactly how the vial of the tonic looked like that the healer was convinced would truly provide a dreamless sleep. Laurel provided Anya with a small vial of the tonic, stressing the fact that Marie should not be allowed to consume the tonic for two nights in a row and how to douse it correctly. Two drops in a cup of water an hour before going to sleep, Marie stored the information carefully in her mind.

Marie had not said a single word during the whole conversation, same as Ontari, but while the blonde girl was fixed completely on the conversation, Ontari watched Marie’s growing interest with a frown. She had a disquieting premonition somehow and she would need to keep a close watch on the younger girl.

When the healer bid her goodbye to the general, she nearly crashed into the commander, who stood in front of the door. Laurel quickly apologized, but the commander only waved her off.

Anya frowned at Lexa’s getup. The commander was dressed in nondescript clothing, suitable for a hunting trip or another outing.

Marie had looked up as well and she narrowed her eyes at the commander. Now that she knew who the woman was, she recognized the woman easily even in nondescript clothing like that. But her green eyes still spoke to something within her, she could not quiet reach yet.

“I will take Marie on a scouting mission today” Lexa proclaimed to Anya. The general raised an eyebrow questioningly at her former second, but it was obvious by the set of her jaw, that the commander had already made up her mind and would not be swayed, no matter what she reasoned now.

Marie looked unsure at the proclamation, that her grey eyes sought Ontari’s dark ones and not Anya’s gaze, felt like a slight slap to the general.

“Weren’t there meeting scheduled for later today?” Anya asked the commander, her eyebrows still raised slightly.

Ontari had subtly nodded at Marie, trying to convey without words to the younger girl that everything would be alright. The nightblood was fairly sure that Marie would not try to assassinate the commander and she could even understand why the commander would wish to spend time on her own with her second. But that would consequently leave her alone with the general, which made her even slightly anxious.

“Cancelled for the day” Lexa retorted simply, impatience colouring her tone to get started making it clipped.

Anya’s frown only deepened. Something must have happened during the night to sour the commander’s mood like that.

 “Come” Lexa addressed the young blonde girl curtly and already turning around.

Now Marie’s searching gaze turned to Anya and the general only inclined her head signalling that it was alright.

When the commander tapped her foot impatiently, Marie almost jumped form her chair to follow the commander’s order. Anya and Ontari watched the younger girl leave in silence.

Marie followed the commander’s quick and fast strides somewhat anxiously. Anya had previously said that the commander and she had decided together that Marie and Ontari would spend a little time with the woman on a daily basis, but going on an outing with her, deviated quiet strongly from that.

Lexa had received a message from the Lake People first thing in the morning. A small troop of Azgeda soldiers had invaded their borders and burnt down several villages near the border after scavenging them beforehand. It meant that their efforts in starving out the Ice Nation were finally starting to show effects. But not only had the Lake People suffered unnecessarily losses, but the clan was complaining loudly also that the coalition had failed in protecting their borders. She had already sent out messengers to their bordering clans asking for reinforcement, but before those troops arrived, there was nothing she could do now. Being forced to remain within the walls of Polis, was starting to grant on her nerves and Lexa missed being out in the woods, free of being the commander, so she took a day out for herself. She had asked Clarke to accompany her, but the blonde had declined, saying that her mother and Raven were leaving soon and she had neglected to spend any time with her friend. Lexa had waved off the blonde’s apology.

Spending time with Marie alone away from her duties would hopefully help to establish at least a tentative bond between them. Gustus and Titus both had not been really convinced in her plan of action, but she had waved both of their arguments off. Even if Marie did try anything, Lexa was skilled enough to defend herself. She would not admit it out loud, but Gustus’ and Titus’ insistence that spending time with the girl alone was to be too dangerous, bruised her pride. Lexa missed the girl’s presence within her life and she could not loose hope to re-connect with the child, she needed to keep onto Clarke’s words there.

It was obvious that the girl did not feel comfortable within her presence any longer and that irked her to no end. She direly missed the times, when she would curl up with the girl, uncomfortably squished into an armchair together or on the bed, and reading to her.

Gustus and Ryder would follow them with some distance, Lexa had not been able to discourage them and she had to agree that travelling without any kind of guarding was too dangerous, now that war was so close again. Although the terrain around Polis was heavily guarded, that did not guarantee that Nia could not have planted some lone assassins within the woods.

Lexa had ordered for her horse to be prepared ahead and she was surprised to see Marie’s reaction to her black mare.

A soft smiled grazed the girl’s lips and her horse instantly met Marie’s outstretched hand, neighing at the girl in greeting.

“Hello, _Sontam_ ” Marie whispered to the black mare, scratching over its soft muzzle. Her smile grew slightly, when she spotted Risha as well. The wolf was old enough now, to learn to accompany them on a short hunting trip.  

Her smile froze slightly, when Marie caught the commander’s gaze resting on her.

Lexa had chosen an older horse for Marie, which should not be too complicated to handle for the young girl. She highly doubted riding had been something Nia would have Marie practise.

Marie was given a quiver, together with a bow and a dagger. She inspected the dagger cautiously, she was sure that she had seen such a blade before. She was still pondering the question, where she had seen this dagger before, when the commander ordered her to mount, startling the girl out of her thoughts.

Marie inclined her head and followed the order mutely. In the end, Risha could not accompany them, because the horse which had been assigned to Marie, would not stop being spooked by the wolf and Lexa was too afraid the girl would be thrown off somewhere along their trip.

The commander ordered Gustus to bring the wolf back into her quarters, making sure that the animal would not follow them. The burly guard visibly hesitated in obeying his commander’s words, but he of course, consequently Ryder and Gustus could only start following Lexa and Marie a considerable time later.

Lexa instantly felt better once they rode out of the gates of Polis. She had missed riding, simply for the purpose of doing so.

Marie seemed to feel comfortable on her own horse as well and the girl did not have any problems to keep up with the fast tempo the commander had set.

They rode in silence for what felt like hours, but Marie enjoyed the feeling of the slight wind against her face and inhaled deeply once they reached the outskirt of the woods. She frowned slightly, when Lexa brought her own mare to a stop and dismounted, tying her mare’s reigns on a tree, obviously intending to leave the horse there.

“We will go by foot. Scouting on a horse is not practical” Lexa addressed Marie, keeping watch that the girl got down from the horse without tumbling.

Marie nodded in silent understanding. The royal guard had only practised fighting techniques with her and she had not set foot outside of the queen’s fortress until the day the queen had sent them towards Polis. But it made sense that travelling with a horse would make too much noise through the forest.

She kept a certain distance between herself and the commander, but she followed the woman obediently.

When Lexa lightly scolded her for placing her feet in the wrong way, destroying twigs under her boots carelessly and giving up her position that way, Marie suddenly stopped in her tracks.

Lexa whirled around in mute alarm, when all sounds of movement from Marie stopped abruptly. She frowned, when she noticed that the girl had remained rooted to the spot. Her grey eyes seemed unfocused and confusion was evident on her face.

Marie shook her head after a few tense moments, Lexa’s eyes scanned the trees around them carefully in the meantime.

“Anya called me a _baby pauna_ ” the girl commented in a thoughtful tone her brows knitted together as she tried to make sense of the snippets of memories that had flown through her mind suddenly.

She glanced down at the dagger, fastened to her belt, and more memories assaulted her mind. Her grey eyes were visibly widened when they connected with Lexa’s green ones “You gifted me with such a dagger…” the girl’s voice was laced with confusion.

A slight smile tugged at the corners of Lexa’s mouth and she inclined her head in agreement.

Marie fell into step behind the commander, trying to remember what Anya had taught her about walking through the wood with producing the least amount of noise as possible. She frowned when she distinctly remembered Lexa taking her on such an outing before. She remembered how she had hoped the commander would have been more fun on the trip, but the woman had criticised her nearly the same way Anya had, only with a little less bite to her tone.

“Why did you agree to take me on as your second?” Marie suddenly asked, ignoring the fact that if this had been a real scouting mission speaking would have definitely not been allowed.

Lexa slowed her pace, she had not truly planned to scout for real with Marie after all and she had hoped to get the child talking to her in a relaxed manner. She had thought about all the things she would wish to say to the girl, but she seemed to have forgotten all of it.

“Do you remember anything about the Mountain?” Lexa asked Marie, keeping her tone light and her features neutral.

Marie’s brows knitted together visibly as she tried to remember anything. She knew she had seen a series of mountains on their way to Polis, but had that been special mountains? She tentatively asked the commander, but the woman shook her head in the negative.

“After Skykru fell from the sky and Anya had taken you as her second…” Lexa paused for a moment, thinking carefully about how much to tell the girl. She did not wish to overwhelm the girl after all. “…Anya disappeared” she settled on “I had been her second before and I had promised her to look after you, should anything happen to her”.

Marie nodded now deeply in thought. The answer had opened more questions in her mind, than she could formulate simultaneously.

Lexa watched the emotions flicker briefly over the girl’s features. It was obvious, she had learned relatively well on how to make her emotions harder to read, but she did not seem to have kept a tight hold on her guard right now, so Lexa was still able to pinpoint at least a few of them. She did keep her eyes on the trees around them as well.

Marie remembered how she had earned the commander’s dagger, but Anya had been there as well. She distinctly remembered the presence of another girl at the incident, but she was not sure, so she kept her thoughts to herself.

“You can ask whatever you wish” Lexa offered in a kind tone, green eyes honest and expression open.

Marie looked visibly startled at the offer, she nodded slightly after a few moments, but no question came out of the girl’s mouth.

Lexa sighed under her breath, turning her attention more firmly onto their surroundings. She had been scooped up within the tower for too long and she almost felt revived being reunited with a forest.

Marie’s head was starting to hurt, trying to understand the little flashes of memories, which were not enough yet to make sense of them. Questions over questions were coursing through her mind. To top it all off, she could still hear the queen’s words ringing through her mind, no matter how hard she tried to quieten them.

Marie tried to silence her mind completely instead, focusing on the woods.

When Lexa noticed that her charge’s attention had also returned to their surroundings she resumed briefing the girl on which sounds to keep track off. She tried to teach to Marie which signs would show that someone had passed through these woods only recently.

The commander had not expected to find any fresh signs and she felt her body tense in anticipation, when they stumbled onto a fresh trail. It was obvious that the trail had not been left by an animal, the tracks of boots were easy to identify after all.

She silenced Marie quiet sharply, when the girl wanted to inquire what was wrong. Marie had obviously not caught up with what she had found yet, but the girl’s eyes were still inexperienced and she would need further training in tracking soon enough.

Fortunately, Marie seemed to understand the urgency in her eyes and the girl seemed to try additionally hard to remain as quiet as possible.

Lexa took out her sword, when she realized that the trail they had been following met up with another trail, a larger one, left behind by at least five pairs of boots. Without the girl in her company, Lexa would have climbed into a tree and hidden there, but she was sure Marie would give away their position that way. The trail was fresh and the group who had left it behind, could not be far ahead of them.

Lexa motioned Marie into the opposite direction of the trail. The commander was convinced of her fighting skills, but picking up a fight one against six had nothing to do with skill. She would not put Marie into unnecessary danger and she cursed under her breath, she had specifically chosen this part of the forest surrounding Polis, as it was patrolled the most frequently.

Marie felt her heartbeat picking up slightly, she may not understand what exactly was wrong, but something clearly was.

Lexa had no real idea on how far away Gustus and Ryder would be, she had not heard the two guards and it was entirely possible that they had not caught up with them yet.

Marie followed the commander carefully, placing her feet as cautiously as possible and scanning the trees around them.

Suddenly, Marie noticed the gleam of metal reflecting sunshine on their left and she gasped loudly, whirling around.

The commander had also noticed and already charged at the warrior. The red warpaint smeared on the man’s face easily identified him as a part of rebels who had banded together. Lexa growled under her breath at the realization, Titus had been convinced that the rebels would run out of resources soon enough and not a problem to worry about.

Marie watched the fight with widened eyes. The commander’s skill was impressive, the woman moved with a deathly elegance and the warrior did not seem to stand a chance against her. Marie wondered, why Lexa had not killed the man already.

A sense of déjà vu washed through her mind, when Marie noticed a second warrior approaching. The feelings coursing through her mind seemed not be from the presence, the need to protect the woman was all encompassing and Marie charged forward loudly, armed with her dagger.

Lexa felt a flash of fear at the sight of Marie rushing at a second warrior, she had not noticed yet, only armed with a dagger. The man had two swords in his hands and the girl had a clear disadvantage.

Quickly, Lexa finished off the warrior she had previously only tried to subdue, hurrying over to aid Marie. She drove her sword cleanly through his back in the exact moment as Marie managed to get the dagger to the man’s throat, slicing deeply. Blood sprayed from the gash in his throat and the man fell to his knees, gasping for breath, as Lexa pulled out her sword.

Marie’s grey eyes were wide and she was deathly pale, the hand which held her dagger was clenched tightly around the polished handle and it shook strongly.

Marie was trying to reconcile the déjà vu she had just experienced with what had happened only moments ago. She remembered seeing Anya, faced with an opponent and a second one aiming a gun at her mentor, she had charge at the second man almost identically to what she had done now.

Lexa cautiously got closer to the girl. They needed to return to their horses and to Polis, the woods were obviously not as save as she had hoped.

An arrow suddenly wheezed past them, Lexa had heard it barely early enough, to pull Marie behind a tree. The arrow narrowly missing where they had just stood and it embedded itself into the tree with a dull thud.

Lexa looked around the tree cautiously, keeping Marie firmly pressed against it for cover, when she heard sounds of fighting and she let out a relieved breath. Gustus and Ryder had found them.


	172. Chapter 172

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 171  
> Marie hears about a sleeping tonic to allow a dreamless sleep. Lexa takes Marie on a scouting mission, where Marie regains some more memories.

Chapter 172

Marie felt her heart beating strongly, adrenalin still pumping through her blood. She had not heard the wheeze of the arrow and had been startled quite strongly, when Lexa suddenly whirled her around and pressed her against a tree for cover.

The worry within the commander’s green eyes had seemed honest. Marie was slightly confused why it looked like the commander would guard her first and herself later. Was it not the job of a warrior to die for their leader? Marie was not sure any longer, who her leader was supposed to be. The queen or the commander?

She vividly remembered now, how she had been in the forest with Anya and they had encountered two “Mountain Men”. Although she remembered the term, the meaning remained foreign to her. It had been her very first kill. Anya had tried to calm her down and coax her out of the woods back into safety.

Marie followed the commander with slightly unsure steps. She recognized Gustus and Ryder as they killed the last of the rebels. The burly guard who had seemed so calm and understanding, looked deeply unsettled now.

Marie swallowed past a lump forming in her throat, when she looked down at the bodies of the warriors who had just died.  

She heard the commander and Gustus exchanging a few rushed words, but Marie did not catch them. There was only a loud rushing sound in her ears.

She did not understand why looking at the slain warriors had such an effect on her body now. She had singlehandedly killed quite a few warriors during her time with the Ice queen and she had stopped feeling anything as a result, simply doing as she had been told.

Lexa watched from the corner of her eyes how Marie seemed to be caught in a daze. She gently touched the girl’s shoulder to pull her back into the presence. They needed to get moving, there was no way of predicting how many more rebels might be hidden in the woods around them.

Marie startled strongly away from the unexpected touch, but her grey eyes looked almost sheepish when she realized her own volatile reaction.

Thankfully, Lexa did not comment on it and merely told Marie to follow them, as they set out back into the direction of the horses in a quick pace.

Lexa wondered internally what could have upset the girl to this extent. She had seen the numerous kill marks now carved onto the child’s collarbone and she highly doubted Nia would have given Marie even a single one without watching the girl kill someone before. Consequently, Marie must have seen her fair share of deaths and it should not mean so much to her anymore. Lexa shook her head slightly, banishing this train of thought from her mind vehemently. The girl she had come to care about had possessed such a gentle spirit that it was no wonder she had not gotten used to the brutality of death. Could this be a sign of her old self shining through the façade facilitated by Nia?

Guarded by Gustus and Ryder, Lexa was able to keep a part of her focus on Marie. It was obvious the girl was lost in her thoughts and she would surely be of no use, should they run into another group of rebels.

The commander internally noted to gather a few troops and drive the rebels back out of the land of the coalition. Giving them too much space and opportunity to raid villages would only strengthen them. The rebels must have started to truly band together if they even chose to identify themselves wearing the same warpaint.

Marie could not shake the confusion from her mind. She could remember now, how she had reacted to the Mountain Man’s blood drying on her hands and she internally wondered why she had made such a fuss. It had only been blood after all. She felt the blood of the rebel drying on her hands now as well, but she paid it no mind. It was not her own blood after all.

The question she had asked herself earlier, kept on repeating itself in her mind loudly. Why had the commander pushed her to safety first? She knew that the woman cared for her, too many people had told her so for it to be a lie. But still, she was only the commander’s second and would it not be her duty to die for the commander then?

Marie nearly faltered in her step, when she suddenly remembered the almost whispered exchange she had had with Lexa. Asking almost the very same question. She could now clearly see the commander’s green eyes staring back at her empathically, before the woman had crouched down in front of her and she had flung herself into her arms. She could almost feel the commander’s arms around herself again.

Lexa looked at the girl with a worried frown, her hands hovered slightly in front of the girl. Marie seemed to be so lost in her thought, that she had nearly fallen over a log, obviously not focused on where she was going any longer.

Marie shook her head slightly, trying to clear her mind at least somewhat and she felt a blush creep up her neck, when she noticed the commander’s obvious worry at her behaviour.

Marie bit her lips, trying to mask her emotions again. The more of her memories she regained, the harder this seemed to become. Contrasting memories and emotions were being at a constant battle within her thoughts and left her feeling confused and almost drained. Why could she not just remember everything again?

Fortunately, they did not encounter any more rebels on their way back to their horses. Marie mounted her own horse in silence, waiting for the commander to signal their departure. Another memory flashed up in her mind, but it was hazy around the edges. She remembered being hoisted in front of the commander onto her horse. The woman had pulled her closer to herself and kept her upwards. She wondered why she had shared a mount with the commander at all? But her mind remained frustratingly empty.

The ride back to Polis was uneventful and rather quick. Lexa had set a fast pace for them and it seemed as if Marie managed to hold up with them well enough.

Marie internally wondered what Ontari and Anya might have done in her absence. Thinking about Ontari being Anya’s second now as well, pulled forth contrasting emotions in her mind. She was glad that the nightblood now shared quarters with her and the general as she truly felt most comfortable in the dark-haired girl’s company. But the fact that Anya would now also care for Ontari in a way made a slight flash of anger and even envy course through her veins. A part of her knew that these feeling were petty and unwarranted, but she still could not stop them completely.

Marie was pulled out of her thoughts when they arrived back in Polis, the stables seemed to be in uproar. She tilted her head slightly in confusion, wondering what might have happened.

She watched Lexa dismount her mare in one graceful fluid motion and hand over the reigns to a second working at the stables. The stables master appeared quickly and rapidly explained that one of the commander’s mares was foaling, but their seemed to be problems and the mare did not allow anyone into her box.

Marie was startled slightly when Gustus suddenly appeared in front of her and offered a hand to her to dismount as well. She blushed a little, she had simply been too caught up in her own head to think about dismounting. She mutely regarded his offered hand for long silent moments, before she finally took it.

It was obvious the commander was worried for her mare. Lexa was still slightly exasperated that _Skairasha_ was carrying a foal at all. A stallion and her own mare had broken the fences to their boxes to be together. If the stablemen had been more attentive they would have been able to prevent the whole situation.

Lexa followed the stables master inside and Marie tentatively trailed behind as well. She did not know how many horses the commander possessed personally and she somehow hoped it was not one of those she now remembered.

Lexa was arguing with the stables master, a seasoned warrior in his own right, about going into the box herself and had not paid any mind to Marie.

The girl peered around the two adults and she frowned, when she recognized the white mare. She distinctly heard how the stables master reported that the mare seemed to have gone into labour hours ago and that they were fearing to lose both of them soon.

There seemed to be an immense amount of blood splattered into the straw in the white mare’s box and the mare trampled around agitatedly. 

Marie absently wondered why she had not realized how huge the mare seemed to have gotten, she remembered that the white horse had previously looked rather athletic, but the roundness of her body seemed unable to overlook now.

Instinctively, Marie slipped through a crack in the fence into the box of the white mare. The horse immediately stopped her trampling and her dark eyes seemed to be filled with panic.

Lexa felt her heart drop into her stomach, when she noticed Marie slipping through the fence. The stables master had been convinced that _Skairasha_ could not be approached any longer, obviously one of the more experienced grooms had already been severely injured a few hours prior. Her eyes widened in rapt surprise when her mare seemed to react instantly to Marie.

Marie carefully stretched out her hands, soothingly touching the horses muzzle. From the corner of her eyes she could see that the fence was pulled open completely behind her. But she returned her whole focus to the mount when the horse neighed, butting up her head and ears flicking around. “Ssshh…” Marie tried to sooth the animal and her grey eyes stayed locked with the horse’s dark ones.

Lexa followed the stables man into the box carefully, she could see Gustus hover at the edge of the box uncertainly.

When the stables master walked around the mare cautiously, keeping his eyes flicking to the mare, trying to look out if she prepared to kick out again, Marie obviously tried to keep the mare’s attention on herself and surprisingly seemed to succeed quiet well.

“The foal’s hindlegs are pushing out first…” the stables master returned to Lexa’s side, worry creasing his brows. Foals in this position were rarely born alive and the birth had been going on too long already, he doubted the foal was even alive anymore. But if they did not get it out soon, the mare would perish in addition.

Lexa had stepped up behind Marie, a slight smile on her lips and her voice was grateful “You are doing great” the commander commented.

Marie looked slightly startled for a moment, but her hands kept on caressing the mare’s head gently “She is in pain” she commented, grey eyes empathetic and almost screaming at Lexa to do something and help the horse.

“We will need to pull the foal out. The contractions are decreasing already” the stables man said to Lexa.

Lexa nodded mutely. She cautiously took a step closer to her mare, letting her hand glide over her strong neck, she turned to the stables master slightly “Safe her” she commanded and the warrior sprang into action quickly.

_Skairasha_ let herself be handled by the stablemen more willingly, now that she was soothed by Marie and the commander. Lexa was surprised again by the fact of just how instinctively Marie seemed to have reacted to the animal. How could a child who had never come into contact with animals connect so effortlessly with them?

Trikru believed that horses were an excellent judge of character. You could force a horse into submission, but you would never have your mounts full loyalty. Marie’s easy way of dealing with her warhorses had prompted Lexa in the beginning to not only see the weak Skygirl, but to recognize her for what she truly was. The child must have been gifted with a strong and gentle spirit to be approved off by her horses like this.

Marie kept on whispering soothing words to the horse, seemingly ignoring Lexa’s presence at the moment. But the girl smiled softly at the commander, once they heard the proclamation that the foal was out now.

Marie had understood what the foal’s position must mean without the words being vocalized, so she kept the mare from looking back.

Lexa’s brows creased in confusion at the girl’s behaviour. “You can let go of her now” the commander addressed Marie, clapping her horse on her neck in an acknowledging manner. She was glad her mare had survived the birth.

Marie shook her head vehemently, her grey eyes surprisingly hard as she met the commander’s gaze. “She does not have to see her dead foal” Marie snapped almost harshly.

Lexa was taken aback slightly by the girl’s train of thought. She knew that foals with a complicated birth were almost never born alive, so she had not even entertained the thought of the foal surviving, it had simply been about saving her mare from death as well.

The commander took a step back from Marie and her horse and her green eyes widened in surprise. The stables master seemed to be frantically working on the foal. Contrary to expectations the foal began to move in the same moment.

The foal let out a weak neigh and _Skairasha_ butted against Marie quite strongly, making the girl stumble back a step. Marie’s face morphed from an expressionless mask, to almost pure joy when she noticed the quivering foal standing upright in the straw behind the white mare.

“It survived…” her voice was full of wonder as she watched the white mare gently nudge its foal, prompting the foal to fall down and the mare began to clean her foal.

The stables master and the commander shared Marie’s wonder in silence, until the man said that it would be better to leave the horses be for now and give mother and foal time to acquaintance with each other without disturbances.

“It is beautiful…” Marie commented, voice still tinted with wonder, when Lexa finally ushered her out of the box with a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulders.

Although the mare’s coat was purely white, the foal had dark grey bits of fur as well. It almost looked as if the foal was wearing grey soaks and a grey mask.

Lexa inclined her head in silent agreement. Following her instincts, the commander proclaimed “You will be training the foal personally in the future”.

Marie blinked at the commander in apparent confusion and her brows knitted together.

A small smile ghosted over the corners of Lexa’s lips as she said “The foal will be yours”

“Really?!” Marie almost squealed shrilly, eyes shining and a surprised smile enlightening her features.

Lexa nodded mutely. Marie would need a mount of her own in the future and it seemed fitting to gift her with the horse which only lived because of her. Anya would surely tease her about it later though.

“Can I visit them later?” Marie questioned eagerly almost as soon as they had stepped outside of the stables again.

Lexa raised a brow in amusement at the girl’s enthusiasm, being reminded strongly of how the child had usually behaved previously.

“Anya already gave you permission to visit the stables, if you tell someone beforehand” Lexa commented nonchalantly, but her green eyes were soft.

Marie nodded cautiously, obviously surprised by the fact that the commander already knew of that. Internally Marie chided herself, of course the general would have discussed such a decision with the commander beforehand. But did that also mean Anya would tell Lexa everything she had or would tell the general? Marie honestly did not know and the question unsettled her.

Lexa watched the emotions flashing over Marie’s features with a slight frown, before the girl’s face was almost completely blank once again. She sighed under her breath mutely, the girl had been so easy to read months ago, that it was disconcerting to deal with her now. She felt like every little step which seemed to have been progress, was destroyed by three steps back now.

She had hoped to connect a little stronger with the girl on this outing, but it had not worked out as well, as Lexa had secretly hoped. She wondered what had prompted the girl to trust her truly in the first place and the realization almost knocked the breath out of her, as she remembered the way the first few days sharing her tent with the girl had been. Marie had not connected with her effortlessly in the past and had only truly started to get closer to her in Anya’s absence. Lexa marvelled the question if Marie even would find a new connection to her now. Marie had Anya now and as it seemed Ontari as well, maybe that would already prevent the child from wanting to connect with her again. Nothing was forcing her to do so now after all and the realization felt like a blow to the stomach.

Lexa left Marie in front of the general’s quarters without another word and Marie watched the commander retreat with confusion written over her features. Had she done something to offend the woman? Although she did not feel entirely comfortable in the commander’s presence she thought that their outing had gone over well, minus the encounter with the rebels, she had even gotten back some more memories.


	173. Chapter 173

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 172  
> Lexa and Marie return from their outing. One of Lexa’s mares is foaling and has problems with it. Marie soothes the mare and the foal survives. Lexa gifts the foal to Marie.

Chapter 173

Against the general’s explicit proclamation that the woman was aware of Ontari’s fighting skills, the general had forced Ontari to the training pits shortly after Marie had left with the commander and had let Ontari show of her skills in each and every thinkable weapon.

To Ontari’s internal horror the general had quickly caught up with the fact that she may be very well versed in fighting with swords, staffs and without weapons, but her skills were lacking severely when it came to wide range weapons. Her accuracy with a bow and throwing knives were next to none existent.

Ontari had grumbled to the general that she surely would not need to master all kinds of weapons, that it would definitely be enough to strike down her opponents with her swords.

Anya would have none of that of course, she had simply stared the nightblood girl down. “And what pray tell will you do when the situation makes it impossible to use a sword?” the general had questioned challengingly.

Ontari ground her teeth together in silent annoyance. It was obvious quickly that the general’s training seemed to consist mostly of snidely comments and barbs and Ontari had never been good at ignoring insults and being taunted. She internally wondered what Marie might find lovable in the harsh Trikru general, but she knew it would be unfair of her to judge Anya based on what she had been faced with so far, she had seen how gentle the woman could be with Marie after all. “I will just snap the other’s neck then” she answered easily with a glower.

Anya raised an eyebrow mockingly, completely unfazed by the nightbloods obviously rising amount of anger “You are aware that not every fight can be fought in close proximity?” she drawled.

Ontari ground her teeth together harder, biting her tongue to reign in the reprimand on the tip of tongue.

“You risk severe injury if you rely on directly facing your opponent” Anya continued in a bored tone, but obviously taking some pity in the clearly railed up girl “You will need to be prepared for each and every possible scenario, so you will master each and every weapon” she proclaimed in a biting tone.

Ontari had to force herself to swallow down the groan wanting to bubble from her throat and she merely inclined her head in silent acknowledgment. She knew already that changing the general’s mind would be impossible, at least for her. She minutely wondered if Marie might be able to at least make the general cut down a bit of her obviously immense expectations. She shook the thought from her mind as quickly as it had formed though, she should feel grateful that the commander seemed to consider her a real candidate to become her successor one day, otherwise she could not explain to herself why the general might have contemplated taking her as her second in the first place.

“I doubt the commander can…” she grumbled under her breath moodily, Ontari had been sure her words had been too low for the general to catch, but it seemed she had been wrong in her assumption.

Quicker than Ontari thought possible, the general had suddenly disarmed her and forced her to her knees with a rather harsh blow to the back of her knees.

The glare on the general’s face had a murderous quality to it and her voice was nothing more than a harsh growl “Oh, you can be absolutely sure that Lexa has mastered all of them. Don’t think even for a second that I will accept anything less from you”.

Ontari gulped visibly and nodded her head, feeling the tip of the general’s sword press against her throat in silent warning. She was aware that she had overstepped a line with her comment.

“We will need to add poise and calmness to the skills you will need to perfect” Anya drawled as she slowly withdrew her swords and offered her hand to the nightblood to hoist her up from the ground.

Ontari’s lips thinned at the added barb but she wisely kept her mouth shut this time. She wondered if Marie would need to meet the same standards tentatively and was surprised at the civility of the general’s answer.

“Marie is not trained as a nightblood novitiate, nor has she ever held any weapons for her first nine summers” Anya answered meaningfully and motioned the nightblood back towards the tower.

Ontari nodded in understanding, she knew it would be impossible to compare her with Marie and vice versa, neither would it be fair. Ontari followed the general in silence back to their now shared quarters. She was startled strongly when the general demanded her to disrobe before taking a bath. Marie had told her previously that the general had inspected every single wound personally after a training session, but Ontari had not expected that the general would extend the same courtesy to her. She found the attention quite exaggerated but at the same time Ontari felt distinctly touched by the gesture. She could not remember being on the receiving of caring hands, if not for the occasional visit of a healer ordered by Nia, if she had been unable to stand up or continue fighting.

Ontari’s surprise increased when the general insisted to call for a healer for an ointment to put on the area she had hit forcefully to bring the girl to her knees. Dark bruises were already forming visibly under the nightbloods skin, Ontari tried to discourage the general, telling the woman that the bruises would fade without assistance. But the glare she received in reaction to her objection, efficiently shut Ontari up again.

Ontari sat in the warm water of the bath, feeling her body relax in effect to the strongly smelling herbs which floated around in the water, but her thoughts were in turmoil. She had not been sure on what to expect from the general from now on, but she had surely not expected this mixture of strict demands and contradicting displays of, if she dared name it, “care”. She would be a fool to even contemplate the idea of the Trikru woman to care for her, for anything more than her usefulness of aiding Marie and she would need to remember that, no matter how tempting it might feel at the moment to have trust in the general. She knew better than to anticipate that anyone beside probably Marie to ever care for her, she had learnt that fact a long time ago.

Her thoughts turned to Marie and Ontari pondered how the blonde girl might be doing and when she would return. They had not packed any supplies or exchange of clothing, so it was probable that Marie would return before dusk with the commander.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Ontari heard the main door to the general’s quarters being opened and Marie barged in loudly. The younger girl’s voice was expressive in its wonder.

“Lexa gifted me with a horse” Marie proclaimed immediately into the room, not even looking first if Anya and Ontari were present or not, she was simply feeling too exited and needed to share the news.

Anya raised a brow inquiringly as she retorted drily “Did she now?”. The general’s eyes had still been focused on the maps in her hands. She internally shook her head at Lexa’s obvious favouritism of their charge, she would need to have a word with Lexa again about spoiling the girl rotten. Abby had been quite insistent on the fact that they should not change their treatment of Marie and that the girl would require them to be strict with her. Handing out gifts to the girl, which were still beyond her position, did not seem like the right way to go to the general.

“Yeah” Marie agreed instantly, completely ignorant of the sarcasm deeply dripping from the general’s tone. “ _Skairasha_ foaled…” the girl reported in a chirpy tone and Anya finally looked up, a slight smile forming on her lips at finally hearing the girl being honestly enthusiastic about something again.

The general’s smile froze instantly as she took in her charge’s condition. Dried blood was spattered all over the girl’s front and her brown eyes scanned the girl almost frantically to determine if any of the blood was her own.

“…the stable master said _Skairasha_ would not let anyone near her. But I just went in…” Marie kept on narrating eagerly, eyes still shining.

Anya’s eyes narrowed dangerously at yet another reference of the girl’s seemingly inaptitude to recognize a potentially lethal situation.

Marie must have interpreted Anya’s continued silence and the general standing up to meet her differently and kept on blabbering unfazed “…they could get the foal out, because _Skairasha_ let them inside her box then. Lexa said I will train the foal in the future…”

The girl’s words only stopped when Anya stood directly in front of her and the girl tilted her head slightly in obvious confusion, her own enthusiasm dimming drastically.

“We will see about that” Anya retorted through clenched teeth, as she crouched down in front of the girl. She ignored her charge’s pronounced flinch as she pulled the girl closer to herself, inspecting her cautiously for any wounds.

“What the hell happened to you?” Anya asked in a seething tone. She doubted that much blood could come from attending the birth of a foal.

Realization seemed to dawn on Marie’s face and she shook of the general’s hand and took a step back from the woman, with a slight frown “I am not hurt. We ran into a group of rebels” she claimed airily.

Anya’s brows nearly vanished into her hairline in silent reaction, she tried to control her facial expression more tightly, when she noticed Marie looking almost afraid of her.

“Stay here” Anya brought out through clenched teeth “Ontari is in the bathroom”. Without another word the general stood up and strode from her quarters, the door falling shut behind her forcefully.

Anya barged into the commander’s quarters without waiting for even a moment, anger coursing through her veins. How the hell had Lexa managed to lead their charge into a skirmish with a group of rebels?

Her anger dwindled abruptly, when she took in the carelessly discarded weapons on the floor next to the door, together with dirtied boots and bloodied clothing. Worry bubbled up in her mind, had Lexa been injured?

The door to the balcony stood wide open, wind blowing the curtains inside and Anya spotted the commander’s form against the impending dusk. The younger woman’s shoulders seemed hunched and even without seeing her face, Anya knew Lexa was deeply upset about something.

Anya hesitated within the opened door for a moment and Lexa must have felt eyes watching her. The vulnerability within her previous second’s green eyes so clearly visibly twisted something within Anya almost painfully and her anger vanished completely. The general stepped outside onto the balcony and joined the commander mutely, her brows creased slightly in internal worry.

Lexa was standing on the balcony only clad in her underwear and chest wrap. At least Anya could quickly let her eyes scan over the commander’s body and fortunately did not encounter any bleeding wounds.

“What is troubling you like that, _yongon_?” Anya asked, surprising both of them slightly by using Lexa’s older nick name. She rarely had made usage of it after Lexa had taken the mantle of the commander.

Lexa sighed deeply, shoulders sagging more pronouncedly and an encompassing sadness seemed to linger within the depth of her green eyes. “I have just realized something…” was Lexa’s only answer.

Anya’s brows furrowed “I fear I need you to elaborate there” she prompted, when Lexa remained silent for a few minutes and only looked out over the city with what Anya would interpret as melancholia written over her features, the general added “It can’t have anything to do with our charge. The girl was all chirpy smiles and blabbering about the foal you gifted her with”.

A slight smile tilted the commander’s lips upwards for the fraction of a second, before her features sobered completely, her voice was heavy when she finally answered. “Marie is surely your charge now”.

Anya’s frown deepened “She has been before, just as she is yours…I do not understand, Lexa”.

Lexa turned her back to the city beneath them, leaning against the railing of her balcony as she stared back at her previous mentor. Her tone was tinted with bitterness as she elaborated “Marie solely connected with me in the first place because the girl believed you dead and simply had no one else…”

Anya let out a snort as reaction, shaking her head disbelievingly at the seeming absurdity of the idea which already apparently had taken root within the commander’s mind. “So, you think she will not re-connect with you now?” she checked, voice coloured with doubt strongly.

“Why should she?” Lexa shot back, voice almost angry now.

Anya pinched the bridge of her nose in silent annoyance, it was hard for her to wrap her mind about the fact that Lexa clearly believed in her own assumption. “You know very well that the girl loves you in your own right” the general reasoned exasperated. She mentally shook her head, how often had she felt slightly envious of Marie choosing the comfort of Lexa’s arms instead of her own, when she had reprimanded the girl for something.

“That might have been the case, but she does not remember” Lexa retorted, exhaustion suddenly clear on her features. She was tired of waiting for Marie to remember, hoping after every slight smile of the child that their charge finally remembered and feeling that hope being crushed over and over again, when Marie’s expression closed off again or the child flinched away from her hands.

Anya sighed “But she will. She is regaining memories daily. She remembered that there was a connection to you already, Marie simply does not understand its depths yet.” She had heard Marie telling Ontari that more and more memories were coming back to her mind, but that she was having trouble understanding them and the turmoil of feelings associated with them seemed to overwhelm the child’s mind.

Lexa slightly shook her head and opened her mouth to say something, but seemed to think better of it. They stood in silence for a moment, before the commander admitted, voice barely above a whisper “I miss her…”

Anya’s brown eyes reflected the sadness portrayed in the commander’s statement and she nodded in agreement “Don’t you think I feel the same?” she questioned. Although they had rarely been this open with each other’s feelings, the general was aware that they needed to share the burden now.

Lexa huffed under her breath and doubt was clear on her features “She seems much closer to you already” she commented voice judging.

Anya’s lips thinned slightly “I have spent more time with her already. You need to give her time and patience. What happened to “It takes as long as it takes”?”

Lexa snorted at having her own words thrown back into her face, but she took a deep breath and nodded. She was not sure why the situation was riling her up so strongly, rationally nothing had happened during their outing which would justify her extreme reaction.

“Stop overthinking every second, Lexa” Anya chided the commander in a gentle tone, feeling herself thrown back several years into the past.

The flash of recognition passing through the commander’s green eyes showed clearly that Lexa felt the same déjà vu and the tension between them dissipated.

“But, gifting her with a foal, really?” Anya asked with a teasing glint to her brown eyes.

Lexa huffed, crossing her arms over her chest in an uncharacteristic gesture. She had known already that her previous mentor would tease her about her impulsive decision. “She will need her own horse one day” she reasoned lamely, although she knew the argument was lacking, it would be years before the foal was old enough to be ridden.

“Of course,” Anya inclined her head in mock understanding “and gifting a breed from the commander’s stables is such a normal occurrence” she added.

Lexa’s lips thinned visibly and she bit her lips, not wanting to rise to the obvious barb of her previous mentor. “How did it go with Ontari?” she asked, changing the topic nonchalantly.

Anya slightly shook her head at the obvious distraction, but she answered lightly “As well as it could have. She does not trust me, that much is obvious. But I would not expect her to”.

Lexa looked at her mentor questioningly waiting for the general to elaborate. She had agreed to Ontari moving in with the general on the condition that the woman would mentor the Ice Nation nightblood, but Anya had already entertained the idea on her own.

“She is distant and cautious. She seems to think it might be some elaborate trap to get rid of her” Anya voiced her assumption; the girl had not told her that of course.

Lexa nodded in silent understanding and she had not expected differently. Ontari seemed to only be truly trusting of Marie, she was under no illusion to think that the Ice Nation nightblood held any regard for herself.

“She will need to be trained in wide rage fighting, her skills are surprisingly lacking there” Anya continued.

“With other words, she is decent enough to protect herself, but not to your standards” Lexa put in, fond amusement evident on her features. She still remembered how the general had nearly driven her insane with her nearly impossible to meet expectations.

Anya narrowed her eyes at her former second and her lips thinned.

Lexa held up her hands in a soothing gesture, her lips curling into a smile and she was obviously fighting laughter wanting to bubble from her throat.

Anya shook her head in silent disbelief at the commander’s antics and turned from the balcony.

Lexa followed the general inside, her features sobered again “I had not anticipated to meet rebels” the commander said.

Anya nodded her head; her anger had already died down and she knew it would not be fair to place blame with Lexa for the possibility of such an encounter.

The door opening again and Clarke stepping inside was the sign for Anya to leave the commander’s quarters for the night, the general inclined her head to the blonde healer in silent acknowledgment.

 

Marie had watched the general leave blinking her eyes in confusion, not understanding why the woman had stormed away so suddenly and quite obviously angry.

She stepped inside the bathroom without knocking.

Ontari whirled around to the girl a reprimand on the tip of her tongue, but it died on her tongue when she took in Marie’s appearance, at least she understood the general’s reaction now. She had stepped out of the bath once she had recognized Marie’s exited voice and she slung the towel firmly around her body, ushering the girl to the bath.

“The water is still warm enough” she said, nudging the younger girl forward.

“What?!” Marie retorted confusion turning into slight anger “I can’t look that bad!”

Ontari’s lips thinned at the girl’s outburst “There is no need for you to shout. You are splattered in blood”.

Marie’s anger seemed to diminish immediately at the slight chastisement and she looked at herself in the mirror standing in the corner of her bathroom. A frown settled on her face, she had not realized she had been bloodied this badly.

“Just clean yourself up” Ontari directing, nudging the girl to the bathroom gently. To her slight surprise Marie started disrobing in her company without hesitation.

The girl’s grey eyes showed that something was troubling her and Marie started to tell Ontari in a tentative tone what she had remembered during the encounter with the rebels.

It was obvious the girl had trouble wrapping her mind about the fact that she had felt the need in the past to defend the general with her own life and had instinctively done the same for the commander.

“So, I truly care deeply for both of them?” Marie mused, sitting in the bath now, while Ontari had sat down on a chair and was listening to the younger girl’s narration.

Ontari nodded in agreement immediately. It did not fail her notice that Marie still evaded the usage of the word “love” although it had seemed natural to the younger girl before. “You love them” Ontari assured Marie with a slight smile and once she saw doubt rising on the younger girl’s face, she added honestly “You told me so yourself”.

Marie’s fingers suddenly tightened around the bathing tube forcefully and her voice was tinted strongly with frustration with herself “I want to remember…”

“You will” Ontari tried to reassure the younger girl and gently loosened her iron grip on the bathing tube. She did not know if the edges would be sharp and she did not wish for her to injure herself.


	174. Chapter 174

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 173  
> Ontari thinks about the training with Anya, the girl finds her seeming help hard to accept. Marie returns and enthusiastically tells Anya about the foal. Anya speaks with Lexa who is upset about Marie not remembering her. Ontari tries to console Marie.

Chapter 174

Anya stopped in her tracks when she returned to her quarters. The door the bathroom was not closed and the girls’ voices carried the slight distance easily. The insight just how hard it was for Marie to understand that she truly had loved her and Lexa, felt like a dagger being twisted within her heart. She wished with her whole being that Marie would truly soon remember everything again. She could fathom easily enough why Lexa was having such problems reconciling this version of Marie with the sweet child they had both fallen in love with.

But she also knew that Marie kept herself even more guarded in the commander’s presence than she did with her. She had overheard enough conversation between Ontari and Marie to know just how much the girl’s view of the commander had already changed, but what the queen had instilled in the child’s mind would not be simply whipped away. Anya dearly hoped that Marie regaining her complete remembrance would make her disregard Nia’s words completely.

She closed the door behind herself with an audible click, loud enough for the girls to realize she had returned. She stepped over into the bathroom and smiled slightly when she realized that Marie was now taking a bath.

Ontari seemed obviously uncomfortable by her company and gripped the towel more tightly around her body, but Anya paid her no mind. The general was convinced that the nightblood would get used to her over time soon enough.

Marie looked unsure for a moment and her voice was small when she asked “Are you angry with me?”

Anya took a deep breath, remembering all those times clearly the girl had already asked her the very same question before losing her memory and the question seemed so out of character for the hardened girl now, that she simply shook her head in the negative with an honest expression on her features.

Marie nodded, but her slight frown seemed to deepen further and her voice sounded whiny “When will I remember everything?”

Anya felt as if shrugging as an answer was the only thing she could come up with, but caught herself before she could do so. She was still trying to knock this habit out of Marie, showing it herself now, would make her efforts null surely. “I honestly do not know, Marie” she retorted, trying hard to keep a straight face. It was obvious the girl was stressing herself about the question enough, without her adding to it.

When Marie pouted and angry tears seemed to glisten within her eyes, Anya stepped closer to the bathing tube and crouched down in front of it, bringing herself onto Marie’s level and gazing into her troubled eyes determinedly. Her voice was strong as she said “Do not stress yourself like that, Marie. Abby said it would not help and only slow your mind. You need to give your mind time to remember. Let the memories come back to you naturally”.

Marie huffed, a doubtful look on her features. In her mind there was nothing natural about the whole situation, so the advice seemed rather useless. She wished there would be something she could do, which would just bring back her memories.

“You already remember a lot now, considering the short time you have been back in Polis” Anya tried to reassure the child.

Marie nodded although the reluctance was clear on her features.

“Get out of the water soon” Anya ordered, as she had tested the temperature with her fingers. The water would be too cold soon and dinner would be served as well, she did not wish the girl to catch a cold on top of all of it. With that she left the two girls alone in the bathroom again.

She could still hear the girls conversing with each other though.

“What have you done today?” Marie asked Ontari as soon as the general was out of sight. She knew that Abby had said she should not dwell on her missing memories, so she tried to divert her attention from them and she was genuinely curious as well.

“Training” Ontari answered in a clipped tone.

Marie frowned at the older girl, head slightly tilted to the side in confusion.

Ontari sighed when she spotted the girl’s reaction “I have been training the complete day with the general” she elaborated.

Marie’s frown deepened slightly, she had expected the nightblood to have trained with Anya, so the elaboration was not helpful at all. She would have probably preferred to train with Anya in Ontari’s stead.

“Don’t you like Anya?” Marie asked inquiringly wondering where Ontari’s mood swing had come from.

The honest naivety in the younger girl’s question startled Ontari quite strongly and her brows knitted together in contemplation. It would not have even crossed her mind to ponder such a question. She judged that Marie must have regained a rather huge part of her connection to Anya to ask something like that, she doubted the girl would have asked something similar while still within Nia’s company.

Ontari contemplated for long moments on how to answer the younger girl’s question.

Marie obviously was not expecting an answer any longer and climbed out of the bathing tube with a frown on her face, confused why Ontari was not answering her question.

Ontari had taken the time to come up with an answer to dress herself. “The general is supposed to be my mentor, I do not have to “like” her, Marie” her confusion of the idea of doing so clear in her tone.

Marie scrutinized the older girl in silent question. She did not understand why the nightblood would not wish to develop a bond to the general, now that she was her first as well. Another memory flashed up in her mind and she gasped under her breath, closing her eyes against the onslaught of impressions.

Ontari watched the younger girl’s reaction with worry and she stepped slightly closer to Marie, worried that Marie might be losing consciousness or something.

Marie did not meet her eyes, when she opened them again a few tense moments later. The girl tilted her head to the side slightly as she said “Anya has told me that the bond between a first and second is considered familial”. To her the reasoning was sound proof after all. She stopped in her thought and blinked in confusion, once she caught up with her thoughts and more memories linked to the memory of Anya and Lexa explaining to her that she could braid their hair because of the bond they shared came back to her. She remembered discussing with Anya that she loved the general and the commander. She remembered the confusion of seemingly not being allowed to give voice to her feelings. But the true feeling of love still somehow evaded her mind. Marie was sure she would not have said that she loved them, if she had not felt it. The frustration within herself mounted again, why could the memories not simply come back?

Ontari’s answer pulled the girl from her thoughts once again “I guess, we will have to form a bond first for that” her answer sounded reluctant and laden heavily with doubt that something like that ever would ever come to pass.

On the other side of the door Anya wondered internally what specifically Marie was remembering. They had spoken about the nature of their bond several times and it was hard for her to pinpoint the exact moment. She felt slight compassion for the Ice Nation nightblood grow within her mind, it was obvious just how distrustful the girl was of the world around her. While Marie had severely lacked distrust previously and had been trusting of everyone almost instantly, Ontari seemed to be the complete opposite. Anya was grateful the nightblood had not succeeded in her plans to assassinate Lexa and her novitiates, without a change of mind Ontari would have made a terrible commander. She was still unsure if the girl could ever be a good successor to Lexa’s destiny, but it was hard to predict how she would develop.

A handmaid arrived a few moments later, bringing in dinner for all of them and Anya dismissed her quickly again. Risha had been on the heels of the woman, obviously having been in the kitchens to be fed and the wolf immediately searched the quarters for her human.

Marie smiled brightly at the wolf, when Risha nosed open the door to the bathroom and wagged her tail at the girl.

Ontari looked doubtfully at the wolf, keeping an obvious distance to the animal.

Anya watched the Ice Nation nightblood’s reaction with a hidden smirk, it was painfully obvious that Ontari was afraid of Risha, but too proud to say so.

Marie had kneeled down in front of Risha and the wolf enthusiastically licked all over face in greeting.

The expression of disgust blooming on Ontari’s face openly was shared by the general and the woman loudly cleared her throat, ordering the girls to come out and eat dinner.

“She has gotten so big” Marie remarked in, voice slightly confused again. She still could mostly only remember Risha as a tiny cub and the growth of her wolf just emphasised how much time was missing from her memory. The fact that she was not even pondering what she was missing of her life before falling to earth, beside wondering about her parents, did not went unnoticed by Anya. Marie had apparently asked Abby after her parents and the girl’s attention had left the parents she could not remember, when she was told that they had both died long before the Ark had fallen to the ground.

“She will not grow much more” Anya agreed. In the girl’s absence the wolf had grown out of being a cub, she had been gone for months after all.

When Marie slid into her seat and almost immediately started feeding scraps to Risha, Anya’s lips thinned visibly, while Ontari did mostly look disgusted at the fact that Marie would feed something to the wolf with the same hand she would then eat something herself.

“Marie!” Anya almost growled at the girl in warning. In the absence of their charge Lexa had taken over the primary care of Risha and the wolf had developed well and was well enough behaved now, she would definitely not sit back and let Marie spoil all of the commander’s efforts.

Marie looked up startled for a moment, until Risha suddenly nudged her thigh with one of her paws and laid her muzzle onto her thigh, obviously waiting to be fed more. A slight blush creeped up her cheeks, when she remembered Anya chiding her for exactly that behaviour before and she had already remembered previously that the general had been against letting her keep the wolf in the first place. “Sorry” she mumbled and continued eating in silence, now without giving anything to Risha.

Anya shook her head, sighing under her breath at the girl’s antics and lightly glared at the wolf, looking at her innocently, as if the creature knew it had been the subject of her chastisement.

Ontari watched the exchange with a frown, absolutely sure that she was missing something. How could Marie know what the general wanted without any explanation?

When the wolf turned her eyes to Ontari and came closer to the nightblood, sniffing at the stranger, Ontari visibly stiffened in her chair, fighting the urge to jump up and bring some more distance between her and the wolf’s teeth. She had had a few encounters with wolves before and she remembered that they were not particular friendly creatures. Why anyone would even try to attempt and keep one as a pet, completely evaded every sense of rationality in her mind.

Marie frowned the older girl’s reaction in confusion, she knew without the sliver of a doubt that Risha would not hurt anyone, so she did not understand why Ontari appeared so unnerved by Risha’s proximity.

“She won’t bite you” Marie took a guess at the origin at the other girl’s obvious uneasiness.

Ontari glowered at the younger girl in reaction and snapped “You don’t know that” nearly falling from her chair now, trying in vain to get away from the wolf, who seemed insistent in its approach.

Anya had to try hard to suppress a smirk from forming in her features at the nightblood’s antics, she would have never guessed that the girl would show to a fear so openly.

The girl’s weird reaction seemed to only increase Risha’s interest though and when the wolf was finally in touching distance and sniffed at Ontari’s leg, the girl suddenly jumped from her chair with an indignant almost squeal “Call it back!” she demanded loudly into Marie’s direction and her voice had a pleading quality when she looked at the wolf “Don’t bite me….”

Now, Anya was powerless to stop the bark of laughter escaping her lips. Ontari glared strongly at the general in reaction, while Marie seemed even more confused.

When the younger girl motioned to Risha, the wolf immediately trotted over to her and plopped down beside the girl obediently. Marie let her fingers run through the wolf’s fur a few times soothingly. Risha’s ice blue eyes were focused on the nightblood and if possible, the wolf seemed confused as well.

Ontari sat back down, a crimson blush on her cheeks in obvious shame, still glaring at the general lightly for laughing at her. The girl had her arms crossed firmly over her chest.

Anya snorted under her breath. With all the attitude Ontari usually carried herself with, she had never expected to ever bear witness to such a childish display from the nightblood. “You have met wolves before?” the general enquired with the nightblood girl.

Ontari nodded with a sullen expression and her tone was biting “Vicious creatures…” she commented, turning her glare to Risha now.

“This one is definitely not one of those” Anya assured the girl strongly. She would not advise anyone on trying to hurt Marie or Lexa, Risha had already shown that she was protective of the commander during Marie’s absence and it was only logical to assume Risha would act the same with Marie.

Ontari looked dubious at best and she grumbled “They are bloodthirsty monsters…”

Marie huffed, obviously insulted on Risha’s behalf. “Did you meet every single wolf out there?” the girl asked in a challenging tone.

Ontari narrowed her eyes at the younger girl, already guessing where her logic was going “Well, no, but…”

Marie interrupted her before she could finish her argument “See, Risha is a nice one. You were also convinced all Trikru were evil.”

Ontari seemed to glower at the girl in exasperation, clearly uncomfortable that Anya was in the room now and had heard that. But her retort had died on her tongue and she grumblingly turned her attention back to her own dinner.

Marie watched the nightblood for a few more moments before Anya nudged her to resume eating as well.

Anya continued watching both of the girls during the rest of their silent dinner. Marie seemed to quickly loose interest in waiting for Ontari to say something else and focused on Risha instead, although she did not feed the wolf anything anymore, the wolf obviously still enjoyed being petted by her greatly. Ontari was meanwhile glowering moodily into the rest of her food.

Anya sighed under her breath. She would have liked it better to have a serious conversation with the nightblood on their own, but if she truly wished to train both girls alongside each other, they would all need to get used to the idea of sharing every aspect of their lives with each other.

“It does not matter what you thought or might still think about Trikru” Anya addressed the nightblood girl in a calm tone.

Ontari’s dark eyes snapped up from her plate and looked deeply startled by the general’s assurance. She remained mute though and when Anya sighed under her breath, Ontari finally said, relatively low “I don’t think that of all of Trikru any longer…”

The way the girl had formulated her answer, made it perfectly clear that she still did not hold Trikru in any kind of high regard, but Anya would not have expected that anyway.

The general in silent acknowledgment “No one expects you to forget your origin overnight, Ontari” she added after a moment.

Ontari seemed to contemplate her words for a few moments.

“Nia has poisoned your mind against every clan besides Azgeda just like Marie’s mind, only for a far longer time” Anya remarked into the silence.

Ontari nodded with a thoughtful expression. Her opinions had changed a lot already since she first had set foot into Polis, but she still caught herself thinking within the ways the queen had instilled into her, it was hard to develop her own mind like that.

A handmaid coming to collect their dishes dissipated the tension within the room instantly. Ontari still looked contemplative, the general had given her enough to think about for one day.

Marie’s mood plummeted drastically when Anya proclaimed that Risha would not be allowed to stay within her quarters as long as Ontari was obviously not comfortable in the wolf’s presence.

Ontari was torn between assuring the general that she did not have a problem with the wolf staying, as long as it stayed within Marie’s bed, and vocalizing a thanks to the general for considering her wellbeing like this at all. She felt slightly guilty when she noticed just how upset was when Anya brought the wolf over to the commander’s quarters. But the relive outweighed that. Although unrealistic, who would have assured her that the wolf would not decide her to attack her during the night?

Marie sat on her bed, arms crossed over her chest, clearly sulking still, when Anya returned several moments later, while Ontari sat on her own bed, looking at the younger girl uncertainly. The nightblood had not known what to say to Marie to try to console her, so she had not said anything at all.

Ontari swallowed forcefully, she would try to make an effort with the wolf soon. Maybe if she got to know the animal slightly, she would be sure it would not attack her.


	175. Chapter 175

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 174  
> Anya instils in Marie not to stress herself over regaining her memory so strongly. Marie cannot understand why Ontari finds it impossible to share a real bond with Anya. Ontari is deeply afraid of Risha.

Chapter 175

Marie’s mood seemed to sour even more when Anya proclaimed that it was time to go to bed now. Panic flashed through her grey eyes minutely, but the girl hid it quickly and forced a smile on her face.

“Can I visit _Skairasha_ and her foal now?” Marie asked Anya quickly sounding eager again.

Anya furrowed her brow and shook her head in the negative “No, you can visit them tomorrow” she assured the girl.

“You said, I could go to the stables whenever I wanted, if I told you before” Marie talked back, accusation clear in her tone.

Anya’s lips thinned at having her offer being thrown back in her face like that. “Certainly not when I just told you to go to sleep only mere moments before”.

“But can’t I….?” Marie began to ask again.

Anya interrupted her before she could finish her question “No, Marie!” she said, tone strict and unyielding “You will sleep now!”

“Can I…?” Marie started to ask something else now, seemingly unfazed by the general’s mounting annoyance and waning patience.

“No!” Anya interrupted the girl sharply, her brown eyes angry now and when the girl made to open her mouth again, she threatened “Don’t make me repeat myself a fourth time, Marie…”

Marie seemed to be immune to the general’s tone now and her own features were twisted in anger now and the girl did not let herself be interrupted by the general now. “You are mean!” the girl almost shouted at the general, glaring at the woman.

Anya seemed to take a deep breath, trying to calm her mounting anger and her voice was forced through clenched teeth “That’s it! You are going to bed, RIGHT NOW!” She knew that the girl was testing her limits, but she would not concede now.

Marie pursed her lips sulkily, but she turned around with a huff, when Anya only glared at her totally unfazed.

The general watched Marie slide under her furs with mixed feelings, she was barely holding on to her patience now. “You can still read something, Ontari” she addressed the Ice Nation nightblood in a clipped tone, her own mood soured for the time being.

Ontari looked deeply uncomfortable being witness to the argument and she immediately shook her head, opting not to anger the general even further for the better option, and got into her own bed in silence. She frowned slightly when she turned into Marie’s direction and noticed the younger girl glaring forcefully at a point on the wall. She could not see the younger girl any longer, when the general went around the room and extinguished most of the candles, casting the room into almost complete darkness.

Marie waited until she hoped Anya would have fallen asleep, she had heard Ontari’s breathing evening out a long time ago, and tiptoed into the bathroom carefully.

She had seen the general storing the vial with the sleeping aid in a drawer there. With a loudly hammering heart Marie searched the bathroom and fortunately found the vial where she had expected it to be. She shortly contemplated taking the whole thing, but Anya might miss its absence. Marie looked around the bathroom searching for a glass or a cup, but she could not find anything. There was the huge bowl filled with clean water for washing, but she could only gather some with her hands. Thinking for a moment, Marie decided to simply drop two drops of the liquid directly onto her tongue and drinking some water afterwards.

Counting two drops that way proved impossible and Marie had absolutely no clue on how much of the liquid she might have consumed, but she drank a little water afterwards to try to get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue.

She still felt her heart beating strongly, once she stored the vial back into the drawer cautiously and tiptoed back into the room, slipping beneath her furs. She knew, that she should have better asked Anya for some of the sleeping aid, but the general had seemed so angry that Marie had doubted she would have agreed to give her some. Sleepiness overtook her body quickly, once she had gotten back into bed and just like promised she slipped into a totally dreamless slumber.

In the morning Anya was surprised to find Marie asleep still and she had needed to shake the girl’s shoulder a few times to rouse her. She worried slightly over the change, but she chalked it off to the girl simply having been completely exhausted, when Marie woke up with a soft smile and enthusiastically greeted her.

The day passed mostly with training. Lexa had been busy with organizing a unit to inquire about the rebels who seemed to form a camp too near to Polis to her liking.

Anya had designed an assault course for Marie and Ontari which the two girls could only complete if they truly worked with each other. Both of them had been taught by the royal guard to only rely on their own skills and working with someone and efficiently entrusting another person with their lives was a visible challenge for both of her charges. Marie seemed to do slightly better than Ontari, but it took them far longer to complete the course than Anya had anticipated.

Marie and Ontari were left to their own devices for the time left until dinner and the younger girl immediately insisted that they would visit the stables.

It was clear quickly to Ontari just how enamoured the younger girl was with the foal. She did not quite understand its appeal though. The foal was still unsteady on its legs and she knew that it would need to grow for several years before it could be taught to accept a rider on its back. She had to admit that the commander’s warhorses were all rather impressing mounts and the foal would consequently grow to become one on its own right with time. Marie seemed to find the small animal “cute” or at the least the girl commented each and every slight movement of the foal that way.

Marie was unfazed by the lack of enthusiasm from Ontari’s side though and the girl kept on chirping about the foal non-stop. In all honesty, the girl’s enthusiasm was starting to grant on Ontari’s nerves, but she tried to nod every now and then in acknowledgment, which seemed to placate Marie well enough.

Gustus had accompanied the two girls, not being on guard duty at the moment and it was refreshing for him to spot Marie’s true personality shining through her cool demeanour now. As soon as the girls stepped out of the stables, Marie’s face became blank again, but her grey eyes still shone visibly with pure joy.

In the evening Marie now officially asked Anya for some of the sleeping aid, not wanting to sneak around the general, she was sure the woman would be angry if she found out she had taken some without permission.

But to her silent horror the general denied her. Before her departure Abby had spoken with Marie once again and afterwards with Anya. The girl had told Abby how much she already remembered and she had claimed not to suffer from any nightmares at all. As soon as the conversation had turned even remotely into the direction of the Ice queen, Marie had closed off completely and not said another single word. So, Abby had adamantly told the general that giving the girl a sleeping aid to suppress her dreams, was not advisable. The child’s mind needed the time in her dreams to work through the memories she was starting to regain.

Marie had at first tried sleeping without the tonic this night, but she had woken drenched in a cold sweat and had tiptoed into the bathroom without much hesitation and repeated the procedure from the previous night. She forgot what her nightmare had consisted off under the effects of the tonic and woke up rested and refreshed once again in the morning.

Anya was eternally relived to see that Marie seemed to be able to sleep without any aid and the nightmares had apparently let off already. She was slightly suspicious of the seemingly too easy change, but she hoped the girl had simply started to feel safe again.

The next day was filled with training again. In the afternoon both of the girl accompanied Lexa to a lesson with the other novitiates and Marie was re-introduced to the children officially. She had known a few of their names, before Lexa had spoken them and the children all seemed happy to hear that she made progress. She had been introduced to Titus and Rana, but no memories came back to her concerning the two adults.

Afraid of facing yet another nightmare, Marie waited impatiently for Anya to fall asleep before she sneaked into the bathroom again and took the tonic once more. She forcefully shoved the slight flash of guilt at efficiently lying to the general from her mind, relived to be able to sleep without disturbances.

The procedure repeated itself for several days in succession without either Ontari or Anya noticing anything aloof.

Anya’s worry for her younger charge returned when it became increasingly difficult to rouse the girl in the morning and Marie’s mood seemed sourer than ever. She was taken aback slightly by the girl snapping at her rudely before storming off into the bathroom without another word.

Marie was meanwhile not feeling well at all anymore, she had started to feel sick after taking the tonic for five days in a row. She had honestly tried to not take it for a night afterwards, but she had been so afraid that she had simply continued to take it. Now that it was ten days of taking the tonic without a stop, Marie was feeling miserable. Her body had started to revolt against food and two days ago it had seemed as if she started to hallucinate. She had been walking with Gustus from the stables back to the tower, the guard seemed to spend time there as much as she did, and suddenly it had seemed as if Nia suddenly stood in front of her. Marie had no idea how she had managed to convince the burly guard that nothing had happened and she was alright.

Marie gritted her teeth. She was more frustrated with herself than ever. No further memories had come to herself in the last days. The few times she and Ontari had been supposed to spend time within the commander’s quarters and in Lexa’s company had been tense at best. On a positive note, Risha had always been there, so that Marie had been able to keep her attention on the wolf. Ontari was still not comfortable in the wolf’s company and Marie had stopped hoping that would change anytime soon. At the beginning Marie had even slightly enjoyed the time spend with Lexa, the woman had clearly made an effort. When Lexa started to read a story to both of them, Ontari had still seemed alienated by the concept, the shadow of a memory surfaced within Marie’s mind, but as she had tried to concentrate on it, it vanished and slipped further away. Lexa had watched the girl from afar for the past days, it was obvious the girl loved the time she spent at the stables daily now, but it did not seem as if she made any progress to get closer to the child once again.

Lexa counted it as a huge progress when Marie seemed to finally be comfortable enough to sit down directly next to her and lean over to look into the book she held as well. The commander was startled strongly, when the girl suddenly jumped up and excused herself into the bathroom, only to return deathly pale and sitting down in front of the fire with Risha, staying entirely silent for the rest of their time together, no matter how gently or vehemently she tried to pry for what had upset the girl.

The day trudged on awfully slowly and Marie’s concentration was slipping. She was caught of guard by seeing Nia appear in front of her eyes time and time again. Marie suffered from a rather deep gash on her arm during training, when she suddenly let her guard drop when Anya’s face suddenly morphed into the queen’s features. The general had angrily sent her to the healer, concerned by the girl’s apparent lack of attention.

Marie managed to get through the day somehow and waited with a baited breath for the general to fall asleep again. When she was convinced the woman had drifted off, she shakily stood from her bed and sneaked into the bathroom.

Anya had become suspicious of the girl’s behaviour and felt the changes in the girl weigh heavily within her mind. The girl had seemingly improved a lot over the span of only a few days and now she was only speaking in a clipped tone, being extremely jumpy and staring at nothing for prolonged times. The smiles she had watched grow on the girl’s face, were absent once again and her grey eyes seemed dulled and haunted.

The general startled awake when she heard a sound coming from the bathroom. She furrowed her brow, when a quick glance to Marie’s bed showed it to be empty. She stood from the bed to check with her charge if she was sick.

Marie jumped slightly when she heard Anya approach the bathroom, hurriedly she took some of the sleeping aid and shoved the vial back into the drawer and pretended to have just used the toilet. She had no idea how much of the tonic she had just taken, she had been in such a hurry to hide the vial again that she had been careless with it.

“Are you feeling well?” Anya asked worriedly in a hushed tone, Ontari seemed to be in a deep sleep already.

Marie nodded mutely, not being able to actually meet the woman’s worried gaze, and quickly stepped around the woman, slipping beneath her furs without any more words.

Anya watched the girl with a mute frown, something was off with the girl clearly, but she could not pinpoint what. She hoped that the child was not coming down with something.

In the morning Anya’s worry mounted ten-fold. Marie was not woken by her touch and the girl’s skin was warm to the touch and she seemed drenched in sweat.

Anya stepped out of the room quickly, sending one of the guards to immediately summon a healer. She sighed under her breath, not looking forward at all to taking care of a sick child yet again. She hoped it was nothing serious though and that the girl had simply caught a cold.

Ontari looked on in worry how an older woman came rushing into their quarters followed closely by Wanheda herself.

Clarke had not seen much of Marie in the last few days. She had been occupied most of her time with helping out the healers around Polis and had mostly returned to the commander’s quarters after Marie and Ontari had already left the room.

The condition of the girl was alarming to say the least, her complexion was waxen and it seemed as if she had lost weight. Her pupils did not react to light and looked unusually small. Although the girl’s body showed a slightly elated temperature, it was not a fever yet and the child’s lymph nodes were not swollen. It did not look like her symptoms matched to a cold or an infection, but Clarke had no idea what it could have been besides that. That the girl would not wake up was the most alarming in her opinion.

Laurel on the other hand seemed to have a suspicion immediately. “How often has she been given the tonic I provided you with?” the lead healer asked the general after hearing the child’s symptoms.

Anya’s brows furrowed “I have not given her anything of it at all” she proclaimed. When asked to collect the vial, Anya’s frown deepened, but the general returned with the vial in hand. She looked at the girl in silent horror, having paled considerably. The vial was almost empty. The only logical consequence was that Marie had taken the tonic without her knowledge.

Laurel nodded “She has poisoned herself with overdosing the tonic” she commented with a sigh.

“Is that life threatening?” the general asked trying to keep her tone calm, but feeling anything but. How had the girl sneaked around her for days and she had not recognized anything? Guilt started to gnaw at her insides, she should have noticed earlier that something was off.

Laurel shook her head as she prepared a paste for the child, mixing it into a cup of water “No, but the next hours and days are not going to be pleasant for her. I cannot say for how long she has been taking it, but she might have already developed an addiction” she explained.

When the healer explained to Anya what needed to be done now and what was expected during the next hours, she asked the nightblood to seek out Titus. Ontari did not have to keep the girl vigil as well and the girl could participate in the normal training of the nightbloods instead.

Clarke assisted Laurel in forcing the dark liquid down the unconscious girl’s throat, it should prompt her to start vomiting soon, hopefully removing at least some of the substance from her system. She assured the other healer that she would stay with the girl and the general at least until the child woke up.

It was obvious to the blonde without Anya to having to voice it, that she already blamed herself for not detecting anything.

Laurel had been correct in her prediction of how hard the next hours turned out to be. Marie was caught in a dazed state between deliriousness and awareness. The vomiting continued through hours without end. Anya was wondering already just how much the girl could have left in her body to vomit.

The child seemed to switch minutely between wanting to be comforted calling out in a pitiful voice to Anya and sometimes Lexa and shrinking into herself, flinching away from her touch again.

The hours felt like slow torture to Anya and when recognition seemed to finally appear in Marie’s grey eyes, the child started to cry in earnest.

Clarke had stayed until the end, waiting for the girl’s answer on just how long she had taken the tonic.

Marie had brought out the answer through loud sobbing and Anya frowned deeply when Marie reasoned that she had been sure she would not be given the tonic because the general had been angry with her.

Clarke sighed, Laurel had explained her that the time span would already have been enough for the girl to develop a mild addiction, but it seemed as if she had only truly overdosed herself in the last night.

The girl kept on apologizing rapidly to Anya, while Clarke slipped away. Lexa had already sent a guard wanting to be briefed on how the child was doing.

Anya knew that speaking rationally with the girl now, would make no sense at all, so she only held her hand and tried to sooth the upset child. The girl seemed physically drained, when her vomiting turned into dry heaves, but her tears did not seem to dry out.

“You will feel better soon…” Anya promised for what felt like the thousand’s times.

When Marie tried to yet again apologize tearfully, Anya gently silenced the girl “Ssshh, Marie. It is alright now. You cannot change it anymore now, so just stop apologizing.”


	176. Chapter 176

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 175  
> Marie takes the sleeping aid without Anya’s knowledge and poisons herself with it accidentally. Anya tried to deal with the repercussions of that.

Chapter 176

When Marie truly woke the next time, it was already dark. She blinked her eyes open in confusion, when she felt someone hold her hand. A groan left her mouth against her will and she carefully inched into a sitting position. Her body felt weirdly exhausted, her throat raw and her eyes felt swollen.

Anya was holding onto her hand, but it seemed that the general was still asleep. Ontari’s bed proved to be empty and Marie wondered where the other girl was.

She also tried to remember what time it was and what had actually happened. Her breath caught in her throat, when she spotted the vial of the sleeping aid lying on the table next to her bed.

Before Marie had the possibility to think about how to justify to her mentor that she had sneaked around her and taken the tonic without the woman’s knowledge for days, a fact which already made guilt gnaw at her insides because she had known that she was doing something else, a huge onslaught of impressions resurfacing within her mind, made her gasp.

She suddenly remembered Anya’s quarters again and being confided into them for weeks on end, because she had not been able to walk. She remembered missing Lexa, as the woman had not shown herself.

Marie had her eyes tightly closed as she abruptly recalled why her own thoughts had felt so upsetting during the outing with Lexa. Suddenly images of the Mountain flashed through her mind, being dragged away at the commander’s orders and hearing later that Anya had returned to her.

All of a sudden, the tonic did not seem to feel so pressing to her anymore. She felt as if she finally remembered the closeness she had felt for her mentor. Marie guessed that she was still missing much, but with an increasing heartbeat she felt the pressing urge to just be enveloped into Anya’s strong arms, where she knew she was safe.

It looked as if dawn was impending and the first signs of soft light filtered through the curtains into their quarters.

Marie could not stop the sob bubbling from her throat, but she still registered just how uncomfortable Anya’s position had appeared to be, half sitting and asleep on a chair next to her bedside.

Anya was woken by Marie audibly sobbing and she already felt the girl’s smaller hand shaking slightly, where she still had held onto it during the long hours of the night. She cracked her eyes open quickly, already painfully aware of the lingering tension in her back from sitting upright so long.

“You came back…” Marie brought out between heavy sobs wreaking her frame and her grey eyes looked to be overflowing with a variety of emotions.

Anya was slightly confused by the girl’s statement and worried that the tonic had still not left the child’s system. Laurel had said that hallucinations could be expected as an adverse reaction. “I did not leave your side” she soothed the obviously upset girl and squeezed her fingers gently. During the last hours Marie had switched between desperately wanting at least some closeness and later freaking out about the same closeness.

Marie shook her head “I remember the Mountain…” she explained, voice faint and a shadow of the horrors of the Mountain flashed over her pale features.

Anya felt a painful tugging at her heart as understanding dawned on her mind, she gave the girl’s fingers another reassuring squeeze.

“She is not here again…” Marie noticed looking around the room with huge grey eyes, tears continued to run down her cheeks.

Anya thought that her charge would be referring to Ontari’s absence, but she had sent the nightblood back into her old room for the night. The nightblood would have been able to catch some sleep that way at least. The general was surprised when Marie shook her head again and said in a quivering voice that she meant Lexa.

The way the child spoke the commander’s name sounded different and Anya quickly assured “She was as worried about you, as I was, and she will come immediately…”

The general made to stand up, but Marie suddenly held onto her hands with a vice like grip and the child’s voice was a pitiful whine “Don’t leave ….”

“Marie, it is alright” Anya tried to sooth the child. The pronunciation of Lexa’s name had sounded more like the girl had usually used it and was lacking the harder pronunciation of Trigedasleng again, so it seemed Marie was remembering enough of the commander now to feel connected to her as well again. But Anya did not wish for a repetition of what had transpired with Arla. She was sure Lexa would come to see Marie immediately, no matter with what the woman had actually been occupied and it was more important than ever that Marie understood exactly that.

With the way things had been going with the coalition and Ice Nation, it was probable that Lexa was either already in a meeting with the ambassadors or at least preparing for one. Ice Nation warriors had made a few attempts to pass their borders and there already had been losses on both sides. It would not be long now, before the coalition’s armies would have banded together and could march north.

 “I will return in a moment” Anya assured her upset charge and tried to pry her fingers loose. The general had not expected for Marie to truly let go, for the child to suddenly fling herself at her.

But the girl was sobbing against her neck moments later, pleading with her over and over not to let go.

Anya tightened her arms around Marie, the position on the chair was awkward at best, but she let her fingers glide over the child’s blonde hair and her back in a soothing caress. “It is alright, Marie” she tried to reassure the girl, but it did not seem as if her attempts had any effect on the girl.

Anya waited for long moments, hoping in vain that Marie would start to calm down. When nothing changed, the general stood from the chair and felt the girl wrapping her legs around her middle instinctively. She awkwardly pushed the door to her quarters open and was relived to noticed that Gustus and Ryder still stood post at the commander’s chambers, indicating Lexa was still inside.

“Does she need a healer?” Loras, a guard posted at their chambers, asked attentively, but Anya shook her head.

The general felt Marie burrowing herself further into their embrace, when she heard Loras’ voice, but she only tightened her arms around the child, carrying her through the corridor to the commander’s quarters.

Marie’s mind was caught up with the memories which kept on returning to her mind. Little flashes of all the times she had spent alone in the general’s quarters, hurt and confused. But other things came back as well, moments of searching comfort from the commander and the general.

She did not understand all the feelings coming back rushing into her mind, but she was yearning to see the commander at the moment. She could smell Anya’s comforting scent and feel her arms around her, but she started remembering seeking the same from Lexa. The queen’s words ringing through her mind were only confusing her further, but she remembered little flashes of curling up with Lexa on an armchair and listening to her reading something to her and falling asleep curled into the woman, hearing her soothing whispers.

Gustus’ dark eyes were worried when the burly guard took in Marie’s condition. The man had already heard what happened and although the healers had been sure the poisoning would not be lethal, he felt compassionate for the girl. He had noticed the child acting strangely for days and had not thought to look more deeply into the cause of her behaviour.

Lexa whirled around to the door, when she heard it being pushed open. A small part of her hoped to see Clarke return as they had had a rather heated argument only mere moments ago. Her nerves had been frayed for the better part of the last day and the night, now that the preparations to march against the Ice Nation were coming to a close, she had proposed to Clarke that she wished for her to remain within the capitol. To say that the blonde woman had not reacted well, would be the understatement of the millennium, so Lexa’s mood had already soured considerably, mixed with the fact that Marie had apparently not gotten better overnight, Lexa had a scathing remark on the tip of her tongue already.

But her words never made it past her lips, when she recognized Anya striding into her quarters.

Lexa furrowed her brow, worry increasing tenfold, when she recognized Marie clinging to the general’s body strongly and audibly crying. She had been in the process of applying her war paint, but she put the thin brush down instantly.

She distinctly heard Marie repeating a mumbling of “she is not here” between heart wrenching sobbing sounds, but Lexa had no idea who the girl was referring to. She had just been in the general’s quarters for a few minutes the previous day, but Marie did not seem to have reacted to her presence at all and was obviously occupied with vomiting without end.

“Marie” Anya tried to get the girl’s attention, convincing the child to look up, so that she could notice her surroundings.

“What happened to her?” Lexa asked tentatively, stepping closer to the both of them cautiously.

Lexa’s voice seemed to register somewhere in the back of Marie’s mind.

The girl’s grey eyes seemed huge and a weird mixture of recognition and confusion flashed through them as they connected with Lexa’s worried green eyes.

Lexa reacted instinctively when the girl loosened her hands around Anya’s neck and stretched them out towards her. She was surprised slightly by the strength Marie displayed in clinging to her coat and she felt the girl’s tears dampening her neck only moments later.

To say the commander was confused by the girl’s display would not have been enough to describe the emotions battling through Lexa’s mind. Nothing had pointed towards the fact that Marie had truly started to regain memories associated to her and Lexa’s hope had started to dwindle down again.

“She remembers the Mountain” Anya commented, voice heavy and brown eyes still filled with worry.

At the mention of the Mountain Marie’s fingers seemed to form into claws and Lexa felt them painfully scratching at the skin of her neck, where the child had fisted the collar of her coat into tight fists.

Lexa closed her eyes tightly, tightening her arm’s around the girl’s body pressed against her own. She could not stop herself from wondering why the girl needed to remember exactly the Mountain before so many other things which would be enough to make her realize their deep connection. She feared that the Mountain would only be associated with negative memories for the girl. But at least her mumblings made sense now. She herself had been meant by Marie, because she had not been with the girl neither during the Mountain nor in the weeks Marie had been injured afterwards, at least not that the child would remember.

Marie had told her later, after the failed assassination attempt staged by Arla, that she had been disappointed every time she woke and usually only always found Arla, sometimes Anya, but never word from the commander.

“I am here now” Lexa whispered reassuringly into the girl’s ears, although internally she prepared herself already for the moment Marie’s senses would truly return. It was clear she was upset deeply and Lexa feared that once she thought a little bit more rationally, the girl would push her away again.

“Cancel the meeting for now” the commander addressed her general, tone already indicating that nothing would convince Lexa to leave her quarters now.

Anya nodded with a slight frown. She knew how important the meetings with the ambassadors were now to truly organize and finalize their first strategies, but she could understand wholeheartedly that Lexa was going to take a few hours simply to reconnect with Marie, now that she finally could. She doubted Titus would be pleased though.

Lexa was glad she had not yet put on her sash and shoulder guard, but she was already starting to feel quite heated under the warm coat and Marie’s body pressed against her front.

Lexa manoeuvred them onto an armchair and kept on soothing the girl, hoping that the child would run out of tears eventually.

The application of her glove kept on tangling with the girl’s blonde hair and against Marie’s surprisingly loud protests, Lexa shortly let go of the child’s body and divested herself off the gloves at least, letting them drop on the floor carelessly. She tried to open the buckles of her coat as well, they could hardly be comfortable for Marie to lean against, although the bite of the metal did not seem to discourage the child from pressing unbelievingly close to her.

Lexa hissed under breath, when in the attempt to protect Marie’s fair skin from the buckles, she had cut her own palm on the sharp edge of one of the buckles.

Marie’s grey eyes truly looked at Lexa now, hearing the hiss and her gaze lingered on the commander’s palm, black blood was slowly extravasating out of the cut.

Lexa did not know on how to interpret the strange look within Marie’s eyes and wanted to whip her palm on her pants, the cut could hardly be deep after all, she had been more surprised than anything else.

But Marie suddenly gripped her wrist with surprising strength and Lexa shivered involuntarily when the girl’s finger tips ghosted directly over the cut.

She gasped when the girl’s fingers suddenly appeared to shine and she felt as if liquid fire was burning the slight cut from her hand.

Marie blinked her eyes in confusion as she abruptly let go of the commander’s fingers. She had no idea what had prompted her to take the woman’s hand or what exactly had happened just now. She searched the commander’s face but she did not find the amount of surprise she would have expected.

“Have I done this before…?” she asked, voice shaking strongly.

Lexa awkwardly tried to prevent the girl form falling from the armchair backwards, as the girl now leaned back from her. She nodded with a cautious expression “I have seen you do this a few times” she assured the obviously confused girl.

The commander was relived that the girl looked visibly healthier again than she had during the previous day, although her complexion was still pale, she did not look waxen any longer.

Marie could simply not understand what had happened exactly a moment ago. She had felt strangely calm and she had not thought at all about what she was doing, it had been pure instinct. “You are still here…” the child remarked in a weird tone. Marie was still missing too much from her memory to truly grasp the depth of the love that had connected them for weeks before her disappearance.

Lexa nodded with a slight furrow to her brow. She was not entirely sure what the girl meant with her words, but it would not even cross her mind to attend the scheduled meeting with the ambassadors when Marie obviously needed her to be there now. She would deal with Titus and the ambassadors later. Lexa held on to the girl’s body with one arm and although the position was probably uncomfortable to both of them, neither of them moved. Lexa worried she would startle the girl if she attempted to draw her a little closer to herself and it looked as if Marie was too caught up in her thoughts to even contemplate her current position.

Lexa did not know how long they had sat in this weird position until the doors to her quarters were opened again and Anya strode back inside, surprisingly accompanied by Clarke and Laurel.

Clarke sat down next to Lexa, looking at Marie with a kind smile and greeted the girl in a gentle tone “Anya told me you remember quite a lot more now. Are you still feeling sick?” she questioned the girl cautiously.

Marie nodded to the first part of the blonde woman’s statement and shook her head in the negative to the last part, but remained mute. Her eyes flicking back and forth between Anya and Lexa, clearly seeking some sort of directions on how to act.

Marie’s whole frame stiffened visibly when Laurel addressed her, asking the girl firmly which symptoms she had suffered from during the last days.

Lexa shook her head at their charge, when a tear rolled down her cheek and she whipped it away gently, although her firm was firm “Do not cry now, Marie, answer her, honestly” she ordered the child.

Marie seemed to swallow forcefully, before she met the older healer’s gaze. Her voice was shaking strongly when she said that she had not felt anything off at first, but that her stomach had started to feel queasy and she did not feel rested any longer. Horror etched into her features when she admitted to Anya that she had started to see Nia appear in front of her suddenly, prompting her slip and injury during their training.

Lexa and Anya both seemed visibly torn between their clear anger at the girl for being so careless and not expressing her pronounced fear of sleeping and feeling sorry for the girl. It was apparent the girl had suffered enough by the adverse effects of the tonic without them actually needing to punish the child.

To their shared relieve, Laurel proclaimed that she regarded lasting adverse effects as unprobeable. Although the girl had overdosed herself with the tonic, the poisoning seemed to have been mild and if she had started to develop an addiction it would be only slight as well and should be overcome easily enough.

Marie nodded with drooped shoulders when the healer instilled firmly that she could not be given any form of sleeping aid for the next weeks and that she needed to learn to cope with the ghosts of her past in another form.

Anya had surprisingly been able to convince Titus to postpone the meeting until the following day, so Lexa’s schedule was free for the next hours.

Clarke watched with the hint of a smile how overly cautious and gentle Lexa handled the girl, the child had not moved a single centimetre since their entrance and it did not appear as if Marie wanted to climb down from Lexa’s lap anytime soon.

“Have you had breakfast yet?” Lexa questioned the girl in a calm tone.

Marie still seemed to be miles away with her thought and Anya answered for her “No, we have not. I have directly come here with her”. Although the child was clearly not almost hysterical any longer, seeing her almost apathetic was not soothing in the slightest.

“Her mind is probably trying to catch up with all the memories she regained” Clarke mused, she kept her voice low and soft and did not appear as if Marie was paying any mind to her surroundings at the moment. She could image just how much of impressions the girl would need to work through if she remembered all of the Mountain all of a sudden.


	177. Chapter 177

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 176  
> Marie remembers what happened at the Mountain and that Lexa was not there for her. Anya brings the girl to Lexa immediately, when she fails to calm her down.

Chapter 177

“She healed a minor cut on my hand” Lexa reported to Anya and Clarke, she still tried to get Marie to take something to eat for herself, but it seemed she could try to convince with the wall instead and have the same result.

Anya looked genuinely surprised by that piece of information. If Marie remembered her healing talent, it would be logical to assume that their charge could soon remember everything of their shared time together.

Clarke looked rather impressed as well. She guessed that Marie suppressing her own dreams for the span of a few days, but still being confronted to triggers to her memories every day, had prompted the girl’s mind to try to process everything now during awareness. “She should come back to herself with time, though it would probably be better if she slept for a bit” Clarke surmised to the other two women. She excused herself afterwards, Anya had run into her when she had wanted to leave the tower and make her rounds visiting their various patients who needed daily attention. If Marie was lucky and Clarke dearly hoped the little girl would have some luck, she would only suffer very mild adverse effects for the next few days, but it was unrealistic to hope that her sleeping problems would just vanish like that.

When her arm began to ache slightly from her effort to keep Marie from falling down, Lexa cautiously pulled the girl closer to herself.

The child seemed to react on instinct as she inched even closer and laid her head against the commander’s neck.

Anya could still see the girl’s grey eyes being wide open but seemingly not focused on anything.

Lexa resumed caressing the girl’s back gently and hummed the lullaby under her breath, which had usually worked to sooth the girl to sleep.

In minutes Anya could watch Marie’s grey eyes starting to droop close, her body slackening in Lexa’s hold and breaths evened out as she drifted off into slumber.

Cautious not to wake the sleeping girl, Lexa carried the child over to her bed and put her down, pulling a fur around her and tucking her in. She waited a few moments, standing beside the bed, making sure that the girl remained asleep. Gently Lexa brushed a strand of the girl’s blonde hair out of her face and returned to the couch, sitting down with a sigh.

She had waited for what felt like a whole eternity, for the girl to remember her, but she did not feel as relieved about her progress as she had hoped.

“It will get better once she truly remembers” Anya commented, picking up on the commander’s way of thought.

“Will it truly?” Lexa shot back, voice tinted heavily with doubt, shoulders slumped slightly.

Anya’s brow furrowed, so Lexa elaborated “Clarke thinks that the signs of the trauma she suffered under Nia will only increase, when Marie remembers who she is and allows herself to express herself again.”

Anya sighed, but she nodded in acknowledgment “We should be able to help her better then. I doubt she would have taken the tonic without permission if she would have truly trusted me…”

“It was not your fault” Lexa assured the general, voice firm and unyielding. The guilt within the general’s brown eyes had been easy enough to interpret without further words.

Anya looked over to Marie minutely, but changed the subject quickly “What have you two argued about?” She could not shake the thought from her mind that she should have noticed something was off with the girl.

Lexa was slightly caught off guard by the sudden change and she wondered how the general could even know about the little fight she had with Clarke. But the woman knew her since her early childhood, so it was no wonder, she still possessed the ability to read her easily. When her former first kept on taxing her with an inquiring gaze, Lexa relented with a huff “I told Clarke that I want her to stay in Polis when the army marches to Azgeda”.

Anya raised a brow in surprise and a snort escaped her lips “And you even considered Wanheda would agree to that?” there was a mocking quality to her tone.

Lexa’s lips thinned, but she sighed in obvious defeat “Clarke has already told me quite elaborately what her opinions are on the matter…”

“I understand, why you would prefer for her to remain here, protected” Anya remarked and her voice was sympathetic now “You will not be able to protect Clarke from everything, Lexa”.

Lexa nodded and her voice was heavy as she agreed “I know that, but she is no warrior”.

Anya inclined her head in agreement “She is not, no, and I doubt she will ever become one. But healers are needed within the ranks of an army as well.”

Lexa clenched her teeth against the sound argument. Healers were an essential part of every army. She was surprised by the general’s next words though.

“But leaving Clarke here, would only divert your attention” Anya surmised “Marie will be going as well”.

Lexa raised a brow questioningly, they had not discussed yet if Marie would be part of the army or remain behind with the novitiates in Polis.

“She will not stay here alone” Anya added, catching the objection within the commander’s gaze. She would not leave the girl on her own ever again, if she could help it.

“Marie would not be alone” Lexa reasoned, although her tone lacked the attempt to convince her general otherwise. If Marie would truly now seek out their closeness once again, leaving her behind in Polis was simply not an option. Fortunately, Lexa was convinced the army would not be ready to begin their march for another two weeks, maybe even a full moon, hopefully giving their charge some more possibilities to recover.

“She will accompany us” Anya repeated, a little force within her tone.

Lexa nodded her consent “What about Ontari?” she inquired.

“She seemed extremely worried by Marie’s condition” Anya narrated although she was not surprised by the nightblood’s compassion for her younger charge “She is still doubting my judgement and she questions each and every lesson. She does not seem convinced anymore that I am trying to kill her accidentally though” amusement was clear within the general’s tone at the last part.

Lexa snorted lightly under her breath, she could still remember vividly that she herself had presumed this hidden agenda behind a few of her mentor’s lessons.

“I should probably go and see her, she will be relieved to hear that Marie has woken” Anya surmised and stood. Lexa was capable on her own to watch over their charge, now that her meeting had been cancelled.

The commander nodded and watched her general sweep from her quarters with quick strides, only after making sure that Marie was still asleep and not running a fever. Risha slipped through the doors, when they opened.

Lexa smiled slightly at the wolf, but once Risha caught the fresh scent of her human and located Marie’s sleeping form, Risha completely ignored the commander and instantly jumped up onto the bed.

Lexa watched with an amused smirk, as the wolf nosed herself beneath Marie’s arms, efficiently being enveloped in the girl’s arms now. They both seemed content cuddled together.

The commander busied herself with pouring over a model which had taken up residence in a corner of her quarters. The model was a replica of the borders shared between Ice Nation and the rest of the coalition and what they so far knew of the lands of Azgeda. Lexa had asked Ontari for conferment of certain routes and bridges and the placement and size of villages, every time the younger nightblood had been within her quarters.

Although Azgeda had been part of the coalition for some time now, it was the only clan Lexa had not visited so far on a friendly visit and the model mostly relied on her own scouts’ words.

Ontari had proofed more helpful in adding little facts than Lexa had expected. The nightblood girl had seemed absolutely willing to tell her whatever she wanted to know. It seemed that Nia’s treatment of Marie had finally cost the queen her nightblood’s loyalty for good.

Lexa was still contemplating allowing Ontari to join their army as well. The girl’s knowledge of the land would be an advantage not to be scoffed at. Ultimately, the girl was old enough to gather real experiences of war. She had been Ontari’s age, when she had taken over as the commander and she had already gotten enough experiences while being Anya’s second. Lexa was aware that no matter how fast they tried to construct the novitiate’s tutelage, nothing would prepare them for a real battle, if she did not take them to one. Although Ontari was without a doubt old enough, Lexa was also considering taking Aden along.

Lexa moved around a few wooden figurines, representing units which would fight under her, coming from all twelve clans. The main problem was that most of the clans were severely unprepared to fight within the north. She could not send soldiers into the land, where the snow did not thaw at all, without proper clothing and equipment, they would freeze before they could reach their destination. So, she had commanded all of the troops to make the detour to Polis, to have them equipped in a suitable manner, but it was starting to devour much more resources than Lexa had predicted and the progress they had made in the last weeks was much less than she had hoped for.

Lexa’s attention was called away from all of her planning instantly, when Marie started to toss and turn under the furs. Risha had lowly whined at the girl and nudged her with her muzzle, apparently trying to wake the child up.

Lexa walked over to the bed quickly and vehemently shooed Risha down. The wolf scurried with a clearly sullen expression, turning her back to the commander and rolling together in front of the fire place, icy blue eyes still hefted onto her human.

“Marie” Lexa addressed the girl in a soothing tone, gently grasping onto the child’s shoulder and efficiently stopping her tossing around by immobilizing the child with mild force.

Marie’s grey eyes snapped open immediately at the contact and her breathing was ragged, eyes wide with silent horror.

“Breath, Marie, you are safe” Lexa assured the girl in a soft tone, letting go of her shoulders and easing away slightly to give the girl more room.

Marie’s breathing remained ragged for long moments and the horror morphed into confusion “You sang to me…” she mumbled disbelievingly.

Lexa looked at the child questioningly at the off-hand comment, the only time she could remember truly singing to the girl had been in the medical bay of Arkadia, when they had waited long days for the girl to either wake up or die. “You remember Arkadia?” Lexa checked, tone diffident.

Marie gasped audibly and her eyes seemed to turn far away.

Lexa watched the girl with worry rising in her mind, she could not see clearly if the child was still breathing or if she might have some kind of seizure.

“I remember…” Marie finally gasped out, tone quivering and grey eyes still wide.

“You remember what?” Lexa pried gently, sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

“Everything…” the child breathed out and the relief was palpable in her expression. A tentative smile grew on her features, before she suddenly faced Lexa fully and flung herself at the commander.

Lexa did not react in the first few moments. The simple one worded answer kept on repeating in her mind, but she had difficulties to grasp its meaning.

“I am sorry for forgetting…” the girl said, her breaths tickling at the sensitive skin of Lexa’s throat.

Lexa tightened her arms around the girl, feeling relieve course through her veins. She did not understand why she felt like laughing and crying at the same time and she had to force her voice to be even remotely steady “You have done nothing to apologize for” she reassured the girl. Lexa clearly remembered how Marie had apologized for almost dying after the child had miraculously recovered from her aneurysm.

Marie stiffened in the embrace when incidents during her time with the Ice queen flashed through her mind. She had tortured other people, she had killed other people and only because the Ice queen had asked it of her, she had not even questioned her orders.

The girl’s voice was quivering strongly when she disagreed with Lexa’s assumption “But I have…” she claimed strongly, easing out of Lexa’s arms “…I have followed her orders…” the child began to sob, shame written over her features.

“Sshh, Marie, listen closely to me” Lexa addressed the girl, voice strong and stern “You have not done anything to feel guilty for. You did what you needed to survive”.

Marie’s grey eyes looked huge and haunted in her pale face and a sheen of tears already glistened in them, but she nodded in acknowledgment, trying hard to keep a straight face.

Lexa smiled reassuringly at her charge, she knew that it would take time for the girl to accept such words. Ontari had told them some things about what had transpired under the queen’s reign. Anya and Lexa had shared the opinion that bringing into balance what Marie had been forced to do without her memories would be hard once she regained them and recognized her own personality. But they would both repeat the words until they sunk into their charge’s mind.

When the girl’s stomach growled audibly, Lexa said “Now you need to eat something”. The commander stood from the bed and offered a hand to Marie, who took it without hesitating even for the fraction of a second.

Marie smiled tentatively and her smile grew, when she spotted a honey cake among the things still left on the table.

“Can I name the foal, Lexa?” the child asked, remembering the foal in the stables, her voice was laced with enthusiasm.

The girl’s enthusiasm felt infectious and a mirroring smile grazed Lexa’s lips “Of course” she instantly agreed to her charge’s question.

Risha trotted over to Marie, tilting her head in front of the girl. Marie giggled at the wolf’s restraint, placed the cake back onto the table and sat down on the floor directly in front of Risha and enveloping the wolf with her arms “I missed you” she whispered into Risha’s ears and her giggles grew in volume when the wolf licked over her face in reaction.

Marie stayed sitting on the floor with Risha for a long time, it was obvious how much the wolf was enjoying the girl’s attention.

After long moments of silence, Marie’s expression fell visibly and she stood up from the floor, sitting down closely to Lexa.

Lexa had read over a few reports, only glancing over to her charge from time to time, but she put the reports aside and turned her full attention to Marie.

“You truly mourned me…?” the girl asked, voice soft and low.

Lexa raised a brow questioningly and she sighed under her breath. She could understand that the girl was unsure of herself, but she should not doubt their feelings for her.

She stood from the couch without a word and went over to the bed, bending down and retrieving the box hidden beneath.

Marie watched the commander turn away with a frown.

“Come here” Lexa asked her charge in a calm tone and sat down on the edge of the bed, opening the large box. Clarke had drawn several sketches of Marie for her and she had kept every single one, together with the two daggers she had given to her.

Marie trudged over to the bed, visibly unsure as she peered into the box in the commander’s hands.

Lexa smiled melancholic as her fingers caressed over a necklace which had belonged to Costia. She took out all of Clarke’s drawing of the child and handed the papers to her.

Marie leaved through the pictures with widened eyes. The drawings were done to an amazing detail and she recognized herself easily. “Clarke has drawn me?” she whispered in wonder, there was no doubt who had done the sketches. A few of the drawings looked smudged in places, as if water had dripped onto them. She internally wondered if Lexa had cried over the pictures.

Lexa retrieved Marie’s blonde braid from an inner pocket of her coat and handed it to Marie “Yes, Clarke drew you. She did a few for Anya as well”.

“I am sorry for causing all of you pain…” the girl said, lips visibly trembling.

“Marie, it has not been your fault” Lexa emphasised as she watched the girl run her fingers over her own braid. “We should burn them” the commander added thoughtfully.

Marie’s face scrunched up in confusion and her voice sounded almost sullen “I liked my hair better when it was longer…”

Lexa snorted slightly at the childishness of the comment, but she reassured her quickly “It will grow back with time.” Burning the girl’s braids together could emphasis to all of them, that Marie had truly returned.

Marie’s expression was still rather offended. She now remembered Echo from before she had brought her to the queen. She had never felt truly comfortable in the woman’s presence and her instincts seemed to have been right for once. She frowned slightly when she realized that she had not once seen Roan so far.

Lexa was slightly surprised when Marie inquired about the prince of Azgeda, but she merely explained that he had been confined to his quarters, for his own security.

“There will be war soon?” Marie asked next.

Lexa was unable to interpret the child’s emotions regarding the impending war, but she nodded with a sigh “Nia cannot be allowed to remain queen of Azgeda any longer. Taking you has been a clear violation of the laws of the coalition”. The commander had to try to keep anger from infusing into her tone.

Marie’s voice was biting as she agreed “You will kill her, right?”. Fear was coursing through her mind at the possibility of encountering the queen ever again.

“She will never lay another finger on you” Lexa assured, voice deathly serious and her green eyes blazing.

Marie nodded, swallowing past the lump lodged in her throat, leaning against the woman and feeling her arm snake around her body immediately. She sighed in contentment, before she remembered Ontari and the other nightblood children “When will Anya come back? And Ontari? And can I see that novitiates? And…”

Lexa smiled good-naturedly at her young charge, amused by her sudden twist back in personality. The chirpy girl, who was not even stopping a second to take a breath in her questioning, seemed almost unchanged by the whole ordeal of the last few months. The harshness of her features, so unlike someone so young, belied that observation though. Lexa knew it would be foolish to assume that Marie was fine now again simply because she remembered everything again.

Marie fell silent abruptly, when she noticed Lexa’s amused expression and that she had not given the commander a chance to answer even a single of her questions. Sheepishness mixed with slight fear flashed over her features minutely.

“Breath, Marie” Lexa addressed the girl, voice still tinted with amusement slightly, but a hint of worry glistened in her green eyes. She let her hand run soothingly over the girl’s back and waited until the child seemed to have relaxed again, before she said “Anya and Ontari will probably come back soon, depending if Anya had planned to train her or not. You shall see the novitiates again soon…” and after a slight sigh, she added “…if you insist on seeing prince Roan, that can be organized as well. You still can visit your foal whenever you like, during daytime” the last addition, the commander thought of as an afterthought. Anya had told her that the girl had asked to visit the foal, when she was supposed to go to bed. She feared that Anya would have her hands full with getting the girl to sleep. But the commander frowned slightly, before Marie’s abduction the girl had still shared a bed with herself and Anya, she dearly hoped such would not be necessary again. The arrangement would not work again, with Clarke and Ontari now in the picture. She would still caution Clarke to sleep fully clothed now, in case Marie would seek her out during night time.

A slight blush creeped up on Marie’s cheeks at the last part and she nodded, her expression turned slightly desperate though “I just want to forget the nightmares…”

Lexa nodded with a heavy sigh. The irony of the girl’s statement was not lost on her though, Marie had been searching for her lost memories for months, making new memories she now wished to be able to forget. “I can understand your wish Marie, but you will have to face them” Lexa admonished gently “You will not be alone now and you will push through stronger”.

Marie nodded, although her expression looked teary all of a sudden. “Why did she do it…?” the girl asked, a sob escaping her lips and she slung her arms around Lexa’s neck, burying herself against the commander’s body.

Lexa’s lips formed a thin line, an expression of torment on her features and her voice had lost its strength “I do not know, Marie” she answered the girl truthfully. She knew that a large factor in Nia’s decision would have been the girl’s connection to her, but telling Marie that would not make it easier in the slightest. Nia was simply a monster who rejoiced in the misery of others’ and Marie would recognize that with time. She gently carded her fingers through the girl’s shortened blonde locks and whispered soothing words into her ear.

It seemed to take Marie a very long time to calm down again, but Lexa was content to simply hold the girl and sooth her down. It was obvious her charge felt comfortable, cuddled against her side and Lexa slowly bend over to take a book from the table and started to read the story to Marie in a calm tone. She did not know, if Marie truly listened to her words or if the girl just enjoyed the closeness to her, but Lexa continued reading to her softly.


	178. Chapter 178

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 177  
> Lexa tells Anya about her argument with Clarke. Anya is adamant that Marie will travel with them to Azgeda with the rest of the army. Marie regains her memories finally.

Chapter 178

Anya swept from the commander’s quarters with quick strides intent to go looking for Ontari, she would start searching the nightblood on the training pits as Titus had scheduled another sparring session for the novitiates.

On her way through the tower she promptly ran into Clarke. The blonde’s features still clearly showed her suppressed anger and Anya was aware that she had interrupted an argument between Clarke and Lexa by storming into the commander’s quarters unannounced.

“Finished already with your patients?” the general asked daring, stopping Clarke in her tracks.

Frustration flashed through Clarke’s blue eyes and they seemed to blaze in their anger “Laurel send me away…” disbelieve was colouring her tone strongly.

Anya snorted lightly under her breath, amusement dancing through her brown eyes visibly. It was obvious that the blonde healer was at least as frustrated with herself, as she probably was with Lexa. “You are aware that Lexa wishes for you to be as protected as possible?” she asked.

Clarke huffed, glaring lightly at the general “Lexa cannot truly think that I would wait idle, while she rides off into war?!” her voice rose in apparent agitation.

Anya sighed when she noticed the guards posted around the corridor shuffling their feet uncomfortably, trying to appear as if they had heard nothing. The relationship between the commander and the blonde woman was still mostly kept in secret, although most of those working in the tower would have been aware of it. It was not customary for a commander to commit into a relationship and take a partner. Commanders before had had lovers or affairs, but nothing permanent and surely not with someone who could be regarded as almost an equal to the commander. Anya understood the guards’ unease, but while Titus was still mostly worrying Clarke would divert Lexa’s attention from her duty someday, she knew that Clarke had given the commander strength in the last months and would continue to support her in ways, only she could now.

She motioned Clarke into an unused room, closing the door behind them and giving them at least some privacy.

Annoyance was palpable on Clarke’s features, but she waited for the general to continue with what she expected to be a tirade to ease up on Lexa.

“Lexa knows that you will not stay in Polis willingly” Anya amended and Clarke raised a brow in clear surprise. Anya’s tone was almost teasing when she said “She had to chose someone as stoic as a mule…”

Clarke huffed, crossing her arms over her chest “Staying in Polis would not be much safer than accompanying her” she reasoned, ignoring Anya’s jab.

The general nodded in agreement “You would be better protected and not part in the actual battle…”

“Don’t try to convince me to stay!” Clarke interrupted the general forcefully, blue eyes boring into Anya’s angrily.

The general’s lips thinned visibly at being interrupted so rudely and her tone was slightly clipped “I had not planned to. You know that Lexa already lost Costia”.

Clarke nodded, sadness flickering through her blue eyes. Although she did not know much about Costia, she assumed she must have been a wonderful and great girl to catch Lexa’s heart.

Anya swallowed forcefully before she said “You have seen what Nia has done to Marie, she will stop at nothing to destroy Lexa. I doubt she would survive losing you in the same way”.

Clarke’s expression looked pained and her voice had gotten considerably calmer and she sighed deeply “She would survive…” There was not even the smallest flicker of doubt in her mind. Lexa would not abandon her people like that, she might lose her heart, but she would remain the commander.

“Costia was a scout, one of our best” Anya began and her brown eyes seemed far away.

Clarke listened to the general’s words carefully, she had not dared to ask Lexa more about Costia. She had always been curious, but the timing had never seemed fitting and after Marie’s disappearance, Clarke had stopped looking for the perfect moment, not wanting to burden Lexa with reliving old painful memories in addition.

“Costia was also not content to remain within Polis. The coalition was still composed of eleven clans and Azgeda resisted strongly. Costia insisted on leading a scouting team towards their border. Lexa and she had been quarrelling about the decision for days and Lexa had been sick with worry when Costia simply left without waiting for orders” Anya sighed. She had been part of the group to look for their missing scouts and she still remembered the scenery they found. “Costia’s scouting team had not even passed the border before they had been ambushed by Azgeda warriors. They were still on Trikru land. We found the rest of her unit a few days later. All of them slain, including the horses. But Costia’s body was not among them…”

Clarke sucked in a startled breath. Somehow she had pictured Costia having been abducted from the safety of Polis’ walls. She could understand that Lexa would feel better if she was as far away from the impeding war as possible. But there was no guarantee for how long the march into the north could take or even when they would start their trek. Clarke did not wish to be separated for weeks or if things did not go according to plans months even.

“…Costia had been missing for weeks, before her head was delivered to Lexa’s bed” Anya finished.

Clarke’s expression looked drawn and sad, but to her the conclusion was different. “Both of us would only worry about the other, if we separated” Clarke reasoned “And I will surely not sit back and wait for her to return. Something she keeps on repeating, she can never promise…” Clarke’s tone had taken on a frustrated edge again. She hated it how much Lexa seemed to contemplate her own death and did not seem affected by it at all.

Anya nodded “A warrior can never promise to return again from battle” her voice was steadfast. This knowledge was a simple fact of all their lives.

Clarke’s blue eyes blazed and her voice rose again “But how can you all be so fucking calm about your own death! It is as if Lexa would not see her own death as anything important…”

“Lexa has been raised with the knowledge that she may one day become the commander, committing her life solely to our people. Death is a simple part of life and another will rise as the next commander after Lexa” Anya calmly replied. She could understand a fraction of the blonde’s agitation though. She did not wish to see her previous second fall and she had heard Marie discussing the concept with Lexa before. Their charge had also not understood the commander’s calmness about her own death.

Clarke let out a frustrated huff, grumbling something unintelligible under her breath. How should Lexa think any different if she had heard the same facts for all her life?

“Marie and you have given Lexa a new reason to wish to return though…” Anya amended as her expression turned noticeably softer. She was thankful that Clarke had been there for Lexa in the last few months.

Clarke looked slightly perplexed by the general’s words and she knew that it was as close to a thank you and acknowledgment she would ever get to with the stoic woman.

“… and Lexa already accepted that you will be part of the army as a healer” Anya added. After a moment of silence, the general inclined her head once, signalling an end to the conversation and swept from the room without another word.

Anya hoped that the commander and Clarke were going to cease their argument. The upcoming weeks would be tense enough without added tension.

She found Titus together with the novitiates exactly where she had expected them. Anya remained in the background for a few minutes, watching Ontari spar with Kato. It was no secret that the nightblood from the Plain Riders had no liking for the older girl. Lexa had been quite disappointed with the boy when he proclaimed Ontari not worthy of her nightblood, something she did not think any of them could judge.

Titus was on the other side of the training pits and too far away to hear Kato taunting Ontari, but Anya did catch the words undetected.

“The general already had enough of you?” the boy sneered, barely holding his defence upright against the harsh counterattack from Ontari.

Ontari ground her teeth together angrily, unwilling to show that the boy’s words did affect her at all. Internally she was seething, how dare Kato claim something like that? She knew that Anya had only send her back to the other novitiates to focus on Marie. It had worked out better between them so far than she had ever expected.

It seemed to anger the sneering boy visibly that she did not react to his taunt and simply kept on sparring with him. She knew that her own skills in sword fighting were superior to the younger boy’s, but he was taller than her already and he seemed angry, so she had to watch her own guard. She doubted he would have any qualms about seriously injuring her.

Anya furrowed her brow, she would need to report to Lexa to keep closer watch on Kato. The way the nightblood seemed to be developing was worrying. She stepped closer to the training pits and immediately addressed Ontari, calling the girl over to her herself.

Titus did not look really pleased by her interruption, but the general ignored the flamekeeper. Annoying the man was a little bonus and Anya rejoiced in the little opportunities she got in that aspect.

Ontari was visibly startled by Anya’s appearance and worry flashed through her dark eyes when she noted Marie’s absence. “Is Marie alright?” she asked immediately, once she had stepped away from the other novitiates. The younger girl’s condition had worried her greatly and she still could not understand how she had missed the signs of Marie taking the sleeping tonic. She had noted that the girl was getting short tempered and unconcentrated but she had not thought anything of it.

Anya nodded “She woke up again” she said and motioned the nightblood back towards the tower.

Ontari raised a brow in obvious confusion and her voice was hesitant as she asked “You left her alone afterwards?” She did not believe so, but the younger girl was clearly not with the general.

Anya lightly glared at the nightblood “No, she remembered what has happened at the Mountain and she needed to be with the commander now”.

Ontari frowned slightly. Marie had never truly spoken to her about the Mountain at length, but she knew that the girl had been left by the commander at the Mountain and had been handed over as a part of the deal the commander had made with the Mountain Men. It was progress of course again, if she regained more memories. But she still remembered how Marie had reacted when the commander discussed her decision at the Mountain with the novitiates in a lesson. She hoped Marie would regain some more positive memories soon.

Marie had remained distant with the commander, so it surprised her slightly to hear that the blonde girl had now wished for the woman’s presence.

“She is not sick any longer?” the nightblood girl asked following the general back to the tower.

Anya nodded “The tonic will probably have left her body. But the healers cannot tell if she already developed a dependency and might show withdrawal symptoms the next days”. The general dearly hoped that Marie would not have so suffer through that as well, their charge had suffered enough already.

They walked through the tower in silence. Anya was already thinking about ways with which she could try to get Marie to sleep the following nights without the aid of the sleeping tonic. Before the girl had lost her memories, allowing her to cuddle up to you had worked wonders for Marie, but Anya highly doubted that would be an option now. Ontari wondered how they should be able to truly help Marie as well.

Anya told Ontari to wait in their quarters for dinner, while she wanted to collect Marie. She walked over to the commander’s quarters, but the scenery she walked in on, made her pause. Lexa was still reading to Marie, but she paused and looked up from the book, when she noticed that the doors to her quarters had been opened.

Anya frowned, brows knitted together, in obvious confusion at Marie being cuddled to Lexa’s side. Before she had the opportunity to inspect the girl more closely, Marie looked up and her grey eyes immediately connected with hers.

With a slight squeal Marie leaped to her feet and hurried over to the general, almost jumping at the visibly shocked woman.

Lexa placed the book back onto the table and watched her former mentor’s confusion with amusement, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth and her green eyes softened.

“I remember everything…” Marie kept on mumbling excitedly, her arms tightening around Anya’s midriff.

Anya blinked down at the girl, brown eyes widened slightly and it took her a few moments until Marie’s words truly registered in her mind. She let herself sink to her knees and caressed the girl’s cheeks with cautious fingers.

“You have regained your complete memory?” Anya checked, voice tinted strongly with awe. She did not know, if she should believe the girl’s words.

Marie nodded with an honest smile and Anya pulled her into a tight embrace. Above Marie’s head her brown eyes connected with Lexa’s shortly and the commander nodded her head with a tender expression on her features.

Anya’s thoughts were still running wild in her mind, she had truly not expected for Marie to regain her memory so suddenly. A deep sense of relieve flooded her mind, hoping dearly that everything would get easier from this point on. Although something in her mind already told her that hoping in such a way would be foolish, Clarke’s prognosis ringing through her mind again.

“I was feeling so alone…” the child started to sob out, as she remembered the months with the queen and even after returning to Polis, she had not felt truly connected to anyone anymore.

Anya tightened her arms around the girl’s body minutely “You are not alone, Marie” she reassured the girl in an honest and grave tone. She would not leave the girl behind ever again, if she could help it.

Marie nodded tearfully as she backed out of her mentor’s arms, a sheepish expression on her features, as she quickly whiped at her cheeks to erase the signs of her tears. She stiffened noticeably when she suddenly recalled something the queen had told her. _“Do not cry, my dumb girl, crying is weakness. Are you weak?!”_ the queen’s voice resonated loudly through her mind and her focus began to blur. She felt arms holding onto her forearms and her body tensed even more in anticipation, she did not know any longer where she was.

“Marie…” Anya addressed the girl, worry tinting her tone at the glassy look within the girl’s grey eyes. She could hear the girl’s breaths coming out in short erratic bursts and it sounded as if she was having trouble breathing. She lightly shook her charge’s shoulders, trying to shake her out of whatever daze had gripped her consciousness. To Anya’s internal shock her gesture did not have a grounding effect to Marie, quiet the opposite happened. The girl forcefully took a few hurried steps back, her mouth opening and closing without emitting any kind of sound. When her back connected with a wall, the girl slid down, hugging her knees tightly to her chest, rocking back and forth, clearly struggling to breathe.

Lexa had rushed to the door hurriedly “Call for a healer!” she ordered sharply, her features drawn with worry.

Fortunately, the elevator opened just at that moment and Clarke stepped out, accompanied by Alira and another handmaid, the latter carrying trays with dinner.

Clarke’s blue eyes immediately connected with Lexa’s and she hurried through the corridor “What happened?” she asked urgently, spotting Marie pressed against a wall and Anya hovering in front of the child uncertainly.

“Marie has regained her memories, but she froze suddenly” Lexa answered, putting a hand on Anya’s shoulder and motioning to her former mentor to make a little room for Clarke to inspect Marie.

The girl had started to mumble _“I am not weak”_ over and over again, her fingernails clawed into her palms, raising little crescent-shaped bloody wounds against her pale skin. Her mumbling stopped abruptly and her breathing seemed to get even more erratic when Clarke kneeled down in front of her and tried to get the girl’s attention.

“Panic attack” Clarke said over her shoulder “I guess something must have triggered her to have a flashback. She needs to get out of it, or she will start to hyperventilate”.

“Marie” Clarke now directly addressed the girl. When she touched Marie to get her attention, the girl flinched strongly, jerking back and out of her reach and her muttering resumed.

“Marie, you are safe” Clarke tried to reassure the girl, but her voice seemed to only agitate Marie further, so she backed off slightly.

She stepped over to Anya and Lexa, both looked highly troubled and worried by Marie’s behaviour.

“Marie…” Lexa softly addressed the child, voice gentle and soothing. Marie’s breathing seemed to ease up a little bit, but she resumed her muttering. Lexa repeated calling out to Marie a few times, but it did not seem to have any apparent effect on their charge.

“You are not weak, Marie” Lexa reassured her in a gentle tone changing her tactic. The girl’s grey eyes were still panicked and did seem unfocused, when she looked into the direction of the voice, which barely reached her consciousness.

Clarke explained under her breath to Anya, what needed to be done in order to try to help Marie out of her flashback. The child needed to recognize her surroundings again. It was a good sign that she seemed to react slightly to Lexa, but her breathing was still irregular and Clarke was worried she could still work herself into a frenzy.

No matter how often Lexa repeated her reassurances, it did not seem to ease Marie’s panic further. Blood was trickling from her palms, where she had clawed at them.

A sense of pain was the first thing, which truly registered again in Marie’s mind. Her mind was hazy and she had trouble to truly breathe in, as if something heavy was pressing down on her chest.

Marie’s grey eyes were wide and panicked, when she looked from her bloody palms around the room. Her surroundings did not match with the memory which still ghosted through her mind.

“Marie, can you tell me, where you are?” someone asked her suddenly. Her head whipped into the direction of the voice, her breathing become even more difficult.

Suddenly she felt someone take her wrist and her hand was pressed against someone’s chest. “Deep breath, Marie” another voice said. Internally Marie frowned slightly, the voice sounded soothing and familiar, but black spots were starting to dance in front of her eyes and the panic seemed to rise in her mind.

“Only concentrate on my voice, Marie” the voice repeated “Breathe in…” a pause and Marie tried to follow the voice’s order “… and out…”.

The orders repeated themselves and Marie’s breathing got calmer again slowly and she felt someone else’s heartbeat beneath her hand, rhythmic and strong.

Slowly her eyes regained some focus and Marie started to recognize her surroundings, her brows knitted together in confusion. She had been sure to be back with the queen. She could not have imagined that, could she?

“Marie, continue to breathe calmly and deeply” she now recognized the voice as Anya’s.

“Look around you” Lexa prompted gently “Can you describe to me, what you see and where you are?”

“I see you and Anya…” Marie’s voice was hesitant, laced deeply with confusion “…I am in your quarters. How did I get here?”

“You had a flashback” Clarke answered the girl’s question, but she noticed how Marie seemed to stiffen again at her voice.

Marie noticed Alira now as well and although she smiled slightly, almost shily, at the handmaid, she straightened herself and quickly stood up again.

Marie surprised all of them when she asked where Ontari was and immediately left to seek out the nightblood girl, as if nothing out of order had happened.


	179. Chapter 179

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 178  
> Anya speaks with Clarke telling her more about Costia and collect Ontari from her training. She is relieved to hear that Marie regained all her memories. Marie has a flashback.

Chapter 179

Anya remained within the commander’s quarters for a few moments longer.

“So, she remembers everything now?” Clarke asked Lexa, watching the younger girl leave with a slight frown. It had not escaped her notice how Marie had not reacted really well to herself trying to help her.

“Marie remembered the Mountain, when she woke again” Anya explained “She had wished to see Lexa”.

Lexa nodded “She remembered the old lullaby I had calmed her with in the medical bay of Arkadia”.

Clarke inclined her head, deep in thought “Remembering the Ark might have been a trigger to all her memories in the end. But it truly won’t get much easier now” she sighed.

Lexa and Anya both looked at Clarke in expectance silently.

“She seems to suffer from what was previously called post traumatic stress disorder” Clarke explained.

Anya frowned, she had never heard this term.

“You might have seen a form of it already in warriors who could not cope with the effects of a battle” Clarke added.

Lexa nodded in agreement. Although it was rare for their warriors to be befallen by what they called “warrior sickness”, it did happen occasionally. But those who suffered from this form of sickness, usually never returned into the ranks of an army, their unpredictable reactions to the stress of battle made them a reliability.

“It happens rarely” Lexa said “But those usually never recover truly…” her voice trailed off. She hoped Marie could recover or the girl would never be able to function as a warrior.

Clarke shook her head immediately “Marie is young. She can recover. She needs support and it might take her months or in the worse case even years to truly recover, but it is not impossible. Her mind still needs to work through what has happened to her. But she can learn how to cope and deal with panic attacks and flashbacks”

Anya and Lexa bandied a worried look. Both of them were connected in their hope that Marie could recover and they would try to help their charge in every way possible.

“I will try to get back into contact with my mother. She surely has some case reports or strategies on how to help PTSD patients” Clarke added after a moment.

Anya nodded and proclaimed that she would go and see how Marie was. It had unsettled her slightly how seemingly fast Marie had recovered from her flashback and almost fled from the commander’s quarters.

Clarke tried to reach out to Arkadia with her radio, but her mother was occupied at the moment and Markus, who had taken her call, assured her he would tell her mother to get back in touch as soon as possible.

Lexa watched her general leave and her green eyes were slightly apologetic as they connected with her love’s blue ones.

Clarke sighed and she help up her hand, silencing Lexa on what she assumed would be an apology “You do not need to apologize, Lexa” she assured the slightly older woman and stepped closer to her, her hands resting softly on her hips.

Lexa raised her brows in silent amusement, the ghost of a smile playing around her lips.

“Anya told me something about the circumstances of Costia’s abduction” Clarke said, voice cautious and she immediately felt the commander’s body stiffen under her hands in reaction to the mentioning of Costia.

Lexa’s lips thinned visibly. She was irritated to hear that her former mentor spoke about Costia with Clarke, she trusted Anya unconditionally, but there were things better left unsaid. She had not thought it necessary to discuss about Costia with Clarke and she had not planned to do so. Costia was her past and there was no sense in dwelling on it, Clarke was her present and hopefully her future.

Lexa could not stop her mind from returning to the immediate days and weeks after Costia’s disappearance. They had been quarrelling for days before and Costia had left her in anger, something Lexa still regretted. She had always wondered if Costia would still be alive to this day, if she had not stormed out of Polis to lead a scouting mission without the commander’s approval. The uncertainty of Costia’s whereabouts had been like a slow torture to Lexa.

“I am sorry I brought Costia up” Clarke amended softly, noting on the sadness lingering within Lexa’s green eyes “I may have said that I do not wish to be a leader ever again, but I do not want to be separated from you either, Lexa, we are one now”.

Lexa slightly shook her head “We are not one, yet” she retorted prompting a confused frown from Clarke.

Lexa sighed and her expression was almost downtrodden “You have already seen a bonding ceremony, Clarke, but I am afraid I will never be able to offer you that…” There had never been a commander to be bonded to a partner and Lexa doubted that her people would accept such an act.

Clarke shook her head vehemently “I do not need a ceremony to feel connected to you, Lexa” she reassured the other woman, voice strong and resolute.

“I know it was foolish to think you would agree to remain behind” Lexa appeased the blonde with a slight sigh under her breath.

“You have vowed to me to treat my needs like your own” Clarke reminded the commander with a gentle teasing glint in her eyes “It is my need to be with you, always. I would worry myself sick”.

Lexa snorted slightly, shacking her head subtly. Having her own words thrown back at herself like that, was something she had not truly expected from Clarke.

“And don’t think that I have not noticed the similarities between your vows to me and what Lincoln and Octavia have vowed to each other” Clarke teased, but her expression turned sober only moments later.

A blush dusted over Lexa’s cheeks, giving her an almost adorable expression. She was saved from having to give Clarke a verbal answer, by the radio buzzing back to life.

Clarke smiled slightly, before she answered her mother.

Lexa listened on in what advice Abby had on how to deal with Marie, her head soon began swimming with all the little details they would need to keep watch over. It sounded complicated and taxing on all of those involved in dealing with Marie on a daily basis. It seemed as if there was much, they could be doing wrong, but Abby had many strategies at hand on how to help Marie with working through her trauma. Essentially, it sounded as if Marie would need to regain trust into herself, her sense of security and her ability to have trust in others and it would be a developing process for the upcoming months. Abby warned them that they could be expecting many setbacks and not to expect that one day would be like another.

Lexa sighed deeply, after Clarke had discarded the radio, saying goodbye to her mother. The commander’s shoulders seemed weighted down and doubt was visible on her features, doubting the fact that they would be enough to help Marie overcome all that had been done to her at the hands of Nia.

 

Anya walked through the corridor quickly, entering her quarters without knocking. She was surprised to find Marie glaring strongly at Ontari.

The nightblood stood opposite of the blonde girl, arms crossed over her chest defiantly and it looked as if the older girl had started to pack together her few possessions.

“Tell her she is not being thrown out of your quarters now, Anya!” Marie demanded, anger strongly colouring her tone and her hands were balled into fists at her sides.

Anya frowned visibly at the scene. Why would the nightblood think to be thrown out of her quarters? “Of course, she is not, Marie” she assured the agitated girl quickly and turned her questioning gaze to Ontari.

Surprise flashed through the nightblood girl’s dark eyes before her expression turned defensive and she retorted “Marie has regained her memories now, so I am not needed her any longer…”

Anya sighed under her breath, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance, while Marie was still glaring at Ontari.

“Marie, sit down and eat something” the general ordered, motioning to the already set table with a strict expression, before she turned to Ontari “And you better curb this nonsense quickly” her tone was sharp and did not leave room for a discussion.

Ontari visibly frowned, obviously not believing the general’s words.

“Sit and eat dinner, Ontari” Anya ordered sharply and when the nightblood girl still visibly hesitated she added strongly “The fact that I took you as a second, is not connected to Marie in any way.”

It was obvious Ontari was still doubting her words, but the girl sat down obediently, not wanting to test the general any further. The next days would show on their own if her words had been true or not.

“Cease your attitude, Marie” Anya reprimanded her younger charge after a moment of silence, when Marie kept on taxing Ontari with an accusative glare.

Marie blinked slightly, as if shaking the anger from her mind, she did not quiet understand why she had been so angry to begin with. She poked at the dinner on her plate without much of an appetite, her appetite had been next to none existent for weeks now and all the food seemed to make her stomach queasy.

“Anya” Marie addressed the general, voice hesitant and cautious.

“What?” Anya asked, voice slightly kinder and waited for the girl to elaborate.

“I don’t feel well eating…” the girl explained, looking between her plate and the general with an unsure expression.

Anya frowned slightly, worry flashing over her features “It could be from the tonic still” she mused.

Marie’s expression looked almost pained. She had not spoken about the tonic with Anya yet and she knew she needed to apologize to her, but she was afraid of the general’s reaction. But she thought that being honest now might make Anya more merciful later, so she admitted in a low tone “I don’t think so…I have been feeling queasy for weeks…”

Anya sighed again, but she nodded “Laurel left some of the herbs for the tea to sooth your stomach, you can certainly continue to take it until your stomach settles on its own”. She remembered that Abby had listed nausea as one of the possible repercussions of Marie’s trauma, but they would need to keep close watch that the child would not develop a full-fledged eating disorder.

She ordered her younger charge to wait with her eating, busying herself with preparing the tea for the girl quickly.

Ontari looked highly uncomfortable when a guard opened the door and Risha slipped inside, immediately trotting over to Marie, lying her head on the child’s thigh.

“Hi, girl” Marie greeted the wolf, a soft smile on her features and she stroked over the wolf’s muzzle a few times, prompting a slight purr from the animal.

Anya snorted slightly under her breath as she placed the cup with steaming tea in front of Marie on the table, for all of the nightblood’s bravery it was almost ironic that the girl was still so obviously afraid of the wolf.

“How long does the foal have to grow until it can be ridden?” Marie asked the general as the woman sat down again, enthusiasm clear in her tone.

“Usually around five summers” Anya answered curtly and watched the girl’s expression fall.

Marie grumbled something unintelligible under her breath, that sounded like an awfully long time. Now that she thought about time, she wondered what date it was exactly.

“How long was I … gone from Polis?” the girl asked, voice hesitant but curious.

“Half a year” Anya answered promptly, voice heavy at the realization just how long her young charge had been subjected to Nia’s torture.

“Oh…” Marie exclaimed with what could pass as disappointment flashing through her grey eyes “I missed my birthday…” she added sullenly.

“Birthday?” Ontari inquired unfamiliar with phrase, but she kept suspicious eyes on the wolf.

“Yeah, I have birthday in spring, so I turned ten” Marie explained quickly. Her expression seemed far away for a few moments, as she remembered her birthdays when her mother had still been alive. She could have given them a specific date, but she knew that the survivors on earth had stopped using an exact calendar, only keeping track of the seasons. Although her parents had never had much possessions and celebrations were highly limited, her mother had usually saved a little of their rations to get her a small cake and a new book in exchange. She would have liked to make a little celebration of sorts with Lexa and Anya, but she guessed she could propose the same to them next year.

When Marie felt her stomach stopping to clench, she resumed eating, but Anya still noted how the girl mostly picked on her food, not eating very much.

Ontari frowned slightly, she did not understand why this was something worthy to mention “Is this some Skykru custom?”

Marie startled slightly, pulled from her thoughts “Yeah, you celebrate your birthday with your family and close friends, with a cake”

“Cake?” the nightblood echoed, confusion seemingly only increasing.

“Yeah” Marie nodded “A cake with candles on top and the birthday child blows them out and wishes something”.

Ontari’s frown deepened “Why would you put a candle on a cake and blow it out? There would be molten wax on the cake and why would you wish for something then?”

Marie blinked at the older girl, her brows knitted together at the questions which seemed so weird to her.

Anya internally had to agree with Ontari that this Skykru custom did seem rather weird. They did not keep track of their ages in such a way, age mattered little to them. They measured someone’s worth by their experience and surely not their age alone.

“They were little special colourful candles and they did not have that much wax. Or at least, I don’t remember that. And while blowing the candle out, you would wish something for your next year of life” Marie tried to explain.

Ontari still looked rather confused by this custom, but Marie added “And the others sing “Happy Birthday””.

The confusion on both of their faces increased obviously and Marie sighed under her breath, shaking her head muttering a “just forget it” and returning her sole attention to her plate of food.

Before Anya could say something, a handmaid knocked and asked if they could enter to prepare a bath. The general nodded her head, although she was surprised, as she had not asked for a bath to be prepared at all.

Lexa had told the handmaid to bring a special herbal remedy for Marie, intending to calm the girl’s anxiousness enough to sleep. Abby had explained that using herbs in a bath, which were already well known by their own grounders, and keeping up massaging the oil against the scars into the girl’s back afterwards should be enough to ease her to sleep, at least initially.

Marie visibly stiffened when a few handmaidens entered their quarters and Risha whined lowly when the girl’s fingers clenched in her fur.

Ontari frowned at Marie’s behaviour. The younger girl had not acted truly distrustfully of strangers without her memories and she would have assumed that Marie would feel securer now, but the opposite seemed to be the case.

The blonde girl relaxed again visibly, once the handmaidens had left and they were alone in their quarters again.

Anya had read over Lexa’s short message delivered by one of the handmaidens quickly. It sounded quite lavish and luxurious to provide a bath on a daily basis for Marie and she hoped it would truly work to sooth the girl to sleep. But it was certainly better than giving the girl another sleeping tonic.

She motioned Marie to follow her into the bathroom.

Marie hesitated in undressing remembering acutely that she still had to apologize to her mentor for sneaking around her.

Anya watched the girl shuffle her feat with a slight frown “You do not plan to bath fully dressed, do you?” she asked.

“No” Marie shook her head, blushing slightly, but she made no move to undress herself.

Anya leaned against the edge of the bathing tube, waiting for he girl to state what was obviously bothering her mind. She knew the girl would spit out what was on her mind, if she left her waiting for long enough.

“I am sorry…” the child said softly, eyes downcast and her expression screaming remorse loudly.

Anya patiently waited for her charge to continue her apology and she kept her expression open. She was sure to already know what the girl wanted to apologize for. Feeling guilty for sneaking around would be something truly matching to Marie’s character after all.

“I won’t lie to you again…” Marie assured and her eyes seemed to already tear up under the guilt.

Anya had a good incline to know just how upsetting the situation was to the child. “You better not” she reprimanded sharply and Marie winced visibly at the harshness of her tone. She was fairly positive the girl would lie to her again some time, but she hoped it would be in a less dire situation. The child needed to start using her head and start thinking rationally and responsibly.

Marie gulped and nodded frantically, but her voice was wavering strongly as she checked “You still love me…?”

Anya sighed under her breath, she had a feeling Lexa and she would be repeating this for uncountable numbers in their immediate future. “Yes, Marie, and that is certainly not going to change, no matter what kind of idiotic ideas you come up with next” she reassured the girl with a tight-lipped smile.

Marie enveloped the general exuberantly and smiled tearfully as she whispered “Love you…” into the general’s midriff.

“Love you too” Anya assured the child gruffly and gave her a little nudge “Off into the bath with you now” she ordered.


	180. Chapter 180

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> I will be running out soon of finished chapters and my life has gotten all that more hectic.   
> So, the updates will probably get fewer. I hope you are still enjoying it nevertheless. 
> 
> Previously in chapter 179  
> Clarke tells Lexa about PTSD and asks her mother for help. Anya and Ontari share dinner with Marie.

Chapter 180

Anya stepped out of the bathroom again, once she was sure that Marie was indeed in the bathing tube.

Ontari was sitting cross-legged on her bed, Risha standing next to the bed, wagging her tail at the girl, while Ontari tried to remain out of reach of the wolf.

“You do realize that Risha is as tame as a lamb to those who are connected to her human?” Anya asked, amusement colouring her tone and a smirk pulling at her lips.

Ontari’s gaze snapped to Anya immediately and she narrowed her eyes at the general, thinning her lips, but giving no verbal answer.

Anya huffed under her breath “Risha is wagging her tail at you” she explained “She is interested in you and she is persistent, she will not leave you alone”. The general could not hide the laughter from her tone completely. She herself had been very distant towards the wolf immediately after Marie’s disappearances, but fortunately Lexa had taken care of the animal. No matter how much she had doubted the rationality in letting Marie keep the wolf cub in the beginning, because she had been sure that such a predator would not be tamed, Risha had proven her wrong on all accounts. She would not advice anyone to try to hurt Lexa or Marie, because she was sure that wolf would intervene then, but otherwise the wolf truly would hurt no one. The animal was still young and playful, but she enjoyed cuddling as well and sometimes resembled a dog more strongly than an actual wolf.

She clicked her tongue, efficiently calling the wolf over to her and Risha obediently turned and trotted over to her, sitting down at her feet. Lexa had taken excellent care of the young animal and it had grown to be obedient to the point.

Ontari had watched the animal with slightly raised brows and she seemed confused by the animal’s obedience.

“Come here” Anya motioned Ontari over in a strict tone. In her opinion the nightblood had had long enough to get used to Risha on her own terms, but the girl had made not even a single move to get into actual contact with the wolf, so she would force her to do exactly that now.

Ontari gulped visibly and she hesitated for long moments, but when Anya’s lips thinned visibly at being blatantly ignored, she stood back up from the bed. Her steps were hesitant and small and she stopped a safe distance away from Anya and the wolf.

“Closer” Anya clarified sharply, rolling her eyes slightly at the girl’s behaviour.

When fear visibly flashed through the nightblood’s dark eyes, Anya sighed under her breath and put a hand on Risha’s body to gently keep the wolf from moving in the direction of Ontari.

“Another lesson” Anya said calmly and her brown were honest as she looked at Ontari, who seemed visibly confused. “It is alright to admit to fear something” she continued strongly and she silenced the nightblood with a simple gesture when the girl obviously wanted to disagree.

“To feel fear is perfectly acceptable” Anya said strongly, but was interrupted by Ontari.

The girl shook her head “Fear is weakness” she repeated a lesson, which had been drilled into her for long years the hands of the queen.

Anya shook her head, lips thinned slightly at the rude interruption, her voice was still firm but kind when she explained “Having fear does not make you weak. It is the way you decide to deal with fears which makes the difference between strength and weakness. Only a fool thinks to be completely without fear”.

Ontari’s dark eyes were fixed on the wolf now, as she slowly inched closer to the animal. It was obvious what the general wanted her to do, without her actually formulating it as an order.

“I have told the same thing to Lexa and Tris before, Ontari. If you are afraid of something, count to three in your head, focus on the feeling of fear, do not let them paralyze you and breathe, overcome your fear” Anya explained in an even tone.

It surprised her slightly to see Ontari close her eyes shortly, taking a deep breath and extending her hand towards Risha, when she opened them again. Anya had not expected for Ontari to heed her advice so quickly, but she was pleased to watch the girl doing so.

Risha behaved in an exemplary manner and stayed perfectly still as Ontari cautiously touched the wolf’s flank. Her fingers first only grazing over the soft fur cautiously, before she became slightly braver and truly stroked over her fur.

“Her fur is so soft” Ontari exclaimed, voice slightly awed and the slightest hint of a smile tilting the corners of her mouth upwards.

Anya nodded, amusement dancing through her brown eyes, and she let go of Risha, watching with a slight smile, as the wolf immediately leapt up into Ontari’s face.

The nightblood had been crouched down in front of the wolf and with a surprised gasp, the girl fell over, landing on her butt, as Risha sniffed at her face and started to lick at her only fractions of seconds later.

“Oh, stop, stop!” Ontari exclaimed, trying to shove the wolf away from her, but also trying not to anger the wolf and prompt her to bite at her. Laughter was slightly colouring her tone at the feeling of the wolf’s wet tongue in her face.

Anya clicked her tongue again, taking pity on the girl’s misery, and called Risha away from her.

Ontari wiped over her face with a slightly disgusted expression.

“See, Risha would rather lick you to death” Anya teased good-naturedly, as she petted the wolf’s muzzle.

Ontari snorted under her breath and she relented “Okay, she is not a vicious beast, but that was disgusting”. 

“Go and wash your face then” the general motioned towards the bathroom, a smirk still tugging at her lips and her voice tinted strongly with amusement.

Ontari immediately went around the general and Risha, her gaze definitely less suspicious as it rested on the wolf shortly.

“You should not sleep in the bath” Ontari chided the younger girl softly and Marie’s grey eyes snapped open, startled by her sudden appearance.

“We would not want you to drown” Ontari teased slightly, quickly washing her face with some clean water.

Marie sat up in the bath, sticking out her tongue at the nightblood in a truly childish gesture. Her expression sobered quickly though “You are staying, right?”

Ontari sighed, feeling slightly foolish for having reacted in such a way at all. “You have heard the general” she said easily.

Marie rolled her eyes “Her name is Anya…” and her voice seemed slightly annoyed before something different flashed through her grey eyes, enthusiasm enlightening her features “…and if you are her second now as well than that makes us…” she scrunched up her face deep in thought.

Ontari frowned, turning back around to face the younger girl and waiting to hear with what she had come up with. She did not know of any real relation between two seconds sharing a first though. In Azgeda a warrior rarely mentored more than one second at a time.

“…sisters!” Marie exclaimed excitedly as she turned around and kneeled in the bathing tube, hands keeping hold of the edge, facing Ontari and almost bouncing in the bathing tube.

Ontari blinked down at the younger girl, utterly speechless for long moments. She would have expected many things, but she had definitely not expected this. She could not remember, if she had had any siblings before she had been brought to the queen, but she had rarely mused over her lost family.

Marie seemed oblivious to Ontari’s overwhelmed reaction and started to chatter excitedly about the advantages of being something like sisters. It was obvious very quickly just how exited Marie seemed at the prospect of extending her definition of family to Ontari in addition.

Ontari’s mind was reeling, it was safe to say that she did care for Marie, but beside that she still had doubt anything else would develop, she would be perfectly fine with accepting the general as her mentor figure, she surely did not need anything else.

Anya frowned when she caught on to what Marie was speaking about so excitedly. She vividly remembered how important it had been to their charge to be allowed to label Lexa and she as a definite part of her family. The general was aware that the concept of siblings was mostly alien to Skykru. Octavia’s mother had been executed for birthing a second child and hiding said child. So, she could sympathise with Marie’s fascination with having a sibling, it would have undoubtedly been something the girl would have mused over before. Loosing her little family at such a young age and having been isolated for such a long time period at such a young age was bound to leave behind scars within the girl’s mind and wishing to now rebuild a secure family again for herself was obviously one of them. But Marie would need to understand that forcing such a development would not work, she highly doubted that Ontari would be feeling comfortable with the concept. Anya mused that the nightblood would probably be comfortable enough to acknowledge her connection with Marie, but that would not be enough in Marie’s opinion. Ontari’s continued silence was testament enough to the fact just how swamped the Ice Nation nightblood would be feeling right now. Internally Anya snorted lightly, they were on the brink of war and Marie had just regained her memories a few hours ago. It seemed so characteristic of their charge to focus on something as trivial as putting a label to her relationship with Ontari when so much was happening already.

She rapped on the door to the bathroom curtly, calling inside that Marie should be getting out of the water soon, which would have already cooled down considerably by now. Anya rolled her eyes, the bath had been intended to calm the girl down, but judging from her exited chatter Marie was as awake as she could have been. So much for the soothing effects of the herbs on a child so lively Anya thought almost sarcastically. When she noticed her own train of thought, the general shook her head, it was relieving to see Marie’s personality shine through again. It would be too much to hope that the girl had already recovered from the whole ordeal she had suffered through, her negative reaction to the presence of the handmaiden had been enough testament to that already, but hearing the childish excitement so strongly colouring the girl’s voice was heart-warming nonetheless. She still hoped that massaging the oil to help with the scarring into Marie’s back would be enough to sooth her again, so that she would fall asleep without much problem.

Ontari stepped out of the bathroom as soon as Marie had gotten out of the bathing tube safely and started to dry off. The nightblood’s expression was troubled and it was obvious the conversation had upset her, probably deeper than she would admit out loud.

Anya mutely watched the nightblood girl walk over to her bed apparently deep in thought, she would not force her to speak her mind and she doubted the girl would offer anything now. She was proven correct, when Ontari quickly shrugged out of the light armour she had still been wearing and into the soft shirt and trousers she wore to bed and laid down without a word, or in fact not even once looking in the direction of the general.

A few moments later Marie came out of the bathroom, feet bare and a towel slung around her body. The uncertainty already edged deeply into her features pulled at Anya’s heart and the general would have given everything to have the ability to simply erase the girl’s fears from her mind and take them over herself.

Anya mutely forced a smile on her own face and motioned Marie over to her bed. The girl lied down without further prompting and discarded the towel quickly.

Marie peeked over her shoulder, body slightly quivering and grey eyes filled with uncertainty. The enthusiasm of before obviously forgotten now.

Anya’s smile became tight-lipped as she warmed some of the oil between her palms, before carefully distributing the strongly smelling substance on the child’s back. After only a few strokes of her hands Marie’s body visibly relaxed and her eyes fell shut moments later.

Anya watched her charge’s features losing their worried frown finally when sleep finally overtook Marie’s mind. She continued her gentle administration for some time wanting to make sure that Marie was truly deeply asleep and she tried to bite her tongue, when Marie’s eyes snapped open immediately as she stood from the bed, to reign in the sigh wanting to escape her lips.

“You need to sleep” Anya said, voice forcefully gentle and brown eyes kind. She was aware of Ontari watching her very move, but the nightblood kept silent in her observations.

Marie sucked in a harsh breath and her hands clenched to fists when her breathing quickened. The girl’s eyes flashed with varying emotions, too quickly for Anya to be able to put a name on them, but indecision remained. It was clear the girl was afraid to fall asleep and had obviously been fighting her body strongly.

Anya did not know if offering to share her bed with her charge would help or actually worsen her state now, so she waited patiently for Marie to formulate what she wished to ask.

“Can you read to me?” the child’s voice seemed small and a slight blush coloured her cheeks at having to ask and her own inability to face her fears.

Anya nodded with a soft expression. Lexa had done so many times in the past when Marie had had problems falling asleep and it had usually helped to sooth the child to sleep just fine.

While Anya stood up to retrieve a book, Marie quickly shuffled on her own sleeping attire. Marie laid down again on the far edge of her bed, leaving enough room for Anya to lie down beside her.

When the general returned and sat down on the chair beside the bed, Marie visibly frowned and although she did not voice her plea, shuffling around with the furs had obviously been sign enough for Anya. The general huffed under her breath once and finally relented with Marie’s unspoken wish.

Ontari watched the proceedings with a mixture of amusement and an emotion she could note quiet name. The general and the blonde girl looked so oddly familiar with each other and just so deeply connected that it was painfully obvious just why Marie regarded the strict woman as part of her family now. Ontari had already been witness to the commander handling the blonde Sky girl just as gently, when Marie had broken down during the lesson with the other novitiates discussing the Mountain. It was a weird concept in her mind to watch both women, both of them undoubtedly skilled and powerful warriors, ruthless and the very epitome of power outside of their quarters, being so clearly wrapped around Marie’s little finger and treating her with the gentleness of a mother. The queen had always instilled within her mind that being gentle with anyone, even your own mount, was a weakness and simply an impossible contrast to the strength she had always thrived to acquire. But she would not think that the commander’s or the general’s strength were diminished even the slightest bit by caring for Marie.

Marie’s smile was grateful when she immediately cuddled up to the general’s midriff and she looked up at the woman, grey eyes expectant to start reading, in silence.

Anya rolled her eyes mutely at the girl’s antics and started to read the book to Marie in an even tone. She was glad Lexa had thought of sending her a few books after Marie’s return just in case their charge wanted to read something solely for her amusement.

It seemed to take forever for Marie’s eyes to start to drop. Anya observed the girl shaking herself awake again a few times and the first two times she had interrupted her reading and chided the girl, only for Marie to start arguing about not wanting to sleep and being more awake again as an effect. So, Anya had stopped pointing it out to Marie and hoped that the girl would sooner or later have to fall asleep and lose the fight against her own body.

When Marie finally had fallen asleep, her breathing evened out and regular, Anya felt the girl’s hands still fisted into her shirt and she sighed under her breath. There was no way she could loosen Marie’s hands without waking her in the process. The position she was trapped in was anything but comfortable though. Anya half sat, half lied propped up against the headboard of the bed and Risha had hopped on the bed some time ago, cuddling to Marie’s back, offering even less space of the bed.

Anya glanced over to Ontari but it seemed the nightblood had already drifted off to sleep as well. She carefully turned and placed the book on the chair standing next to the bed. When she looked down at Marie’s sleeping form, she sighed, even in sleep their charge’s features looked troubled still. Softly Anya let her glide over the girl’s hair, caressing her cheek lightly and watched the troubled frown drain from her features. She had very little hope of catching much sleep herself in this way and she highly doubted that Marie’s sleep would remain untroubled by nightmares for long.

She mused if it would be more beneficial for Ontari to assign her quarters of her own again, but discarded the idea immediately again. The nightblood would probably not complain about losing some sleep. Her reaction to the news of Marie regaining her memories had been clear enough to Anya to relay what the nightblood had truly feared would happen. Ontari was obviously afraid of being rejected now that she thought her own purpose to Anya had run dry. The girl probably did not wish to be alone either. It was a weird thought to realize that although Ontari and Marie were so visibly different and even contrasting to each other, but at the same time Ontari was, just as Marie was, a troubled girl, troubled by her own demons, but troubled nonetheless.

Anya closed her eyes, trying to stop her own thoughts from keeping her awake, hoping to catch at least a little rest before Marie undoubtedly would wake again soon enough. She dearly hoped she was not boiling the ocean by having taken over Ontari’s care in addition.


	181. Chapter 181

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously in chapter 180  
> Ontari finally gets a little closer to Risha. Marie encloses to see Ontari as a sister of sorts and Anya tries to get Marie asleep naturally.

Chapter 181

To Anya it seemed as if the night just did not wish to pass. She had already spent the complete previous day at Marie’s bedside, caring for the girl as she rode out the poisoning effects of the sleeping tonic and she was bone deep exhausted.

But every time Anya closed her eyes and felt her own mind get heavy as sleep started to overtake it and she stopped caressing the child’s hair, Marie immediately began to stir. So, Anya was snapped awake time and time again.

Anya was able to sooth her charge back into deeper untroubled sleep by a few soft touches and whispered words, stopping the girl’s nightmares efficiently before they could take hold of her at all. The positive effect was that Ontari was able to sleep undisturbed, but Anya highly doubted she would be able to provide Marie support of this kind for long, there was only a limited time she could function without any sleep before her body demanded rest.

When soft sunlight finally appeared through the curtains, Anya sighed deeply in relieve. Her head was throbbing with a consistent ache, and her whole body felt tense and pained from having stayed in such an uncomfortable position for so long. She knew her temper would be rather short if she did not manage to calm herself a little, she dearly needed a few moments for herself, without either of the girls.

She had noticed during the long hours of the night that Marie’s terrors seemed to only increase as the candles had burnt down and darkness ascended through their quarters. So, besides the already existing problems it was probable that the girl had developed a fear of darkness additionally.

Her backbone gave a few loud cracks as Anya slid out of the bed, trying to let Marie rest for a few moments longer, and she bit back a string of swears.

When she felt more than actually saw Ontari’s dark eyes watching her, Anya ordered her to stand up and start in the bathroom, voice curt and clipped. The nightblood’s expression looked almost pitying as she mutely inclined her head and left without a word.

Anya quickly stepped out of their quarters, asking to have a bath prepared for herself and inquiring if Lexa had already left her quarters, she dearly hoped she had not. A little bit of luck seemed to be on her side when the answer was positive and she send one of the guards to rely to the commander that both her charges would be joining her for breakfast.

The moment the general closed the door to their quarters, was when Marie jolted awake. Anya stopped in her tracks when she noticed Marie’s whole frame tensing up, although the child’s eyes were still closed.

Marie did not know what had woken her up and she felt her heartrate picking up immediately. The mattress beside herself was still warm and her thoughts instantly jumped to having been forced to share the queen’s bed. A slight frown appeared on her features, her body did not hurt and her stomach was not clenched in disgust. But even through her closed eyelids Marie sensed light in the room, so she could impossibly be back in the room she had shared with Ontari in the queen’s fortress. The lights had always given out during the night and there had been no windows in the small room, so they always woke in complete darkness until a warrior collected them for training.

Her breathing quickened slightly when she realized that she was absolutely clueless as to where exactly she was at the moment. She startled strongly when something heavy moved on the mattress beside her and what felt like a wet muzzle pressed under one of her hands.

Marie’s grey eyes almost shot open now, as the memories of the last few days rushed back to the forefront of her mind and she felt most of the tension drain from her body. A soft smile enlightened her features as she let her fingers move through Risha’s soft fur. “Hi, girl” she cooed at the wolf in greeting and giggled slightly when Risha licked at her fingers, wagging her tail.

Anya’s frown disappeared and an exhausted smile tilted the corners of her mouth upwards as she watched Marie reconnect with her wolf. The child looked so carefree and relaxed in this moment that it was hard to believe just how deeply troubled she had been during the night. At least only she seemed to be in discomfort now and the girl was not cranky in addition, right now Anya would work with small mercies.

The smile brightening up Marie’s face when her gaze turned to Anya and her tentative “You stayed beside me the whole night?” was acknowledgement enough for her efforts.

When Marie stood from the bed and tapped over to Anya, she immediately hugged the woman’s midriff in a thankful gesture.

“How are you feeling?” Anya asked her charge, brown eyes clearly showing just how touched she was by the girl’s antics.

“Rested” Marie replied softly with an almost sheepish expression. She knew that she was the sole cause of the dark circles of exhaustion forming under Anya’s eyes. She felt guilty and weak for causing her mentor such grief.

“I am not weak” Marie whispered out loud to herself, trying in vain to quieten the queen’s voice echoing through her mind.

Anya put her hands on the child’s shoulders and squeezed them in reassurance “You are not weak” she said in a grave voice.

Marie stopped repeating her mantra after a few moments and a slight blush dusted over her cheeks.

“It is alright” Anya intoned calmly, squeezing the girl’s shoulders once more. She waited for a moment until she asked “You do not feel well in darkness any longer?” Now that she thought about it, she remembered that even without her memories the girl’s nightmares had been worse in the last hours of the night only after the candles had burnt down.

Marie nodded although reluctance to admit to yet another weakness was evident within her features. She could not remember ever being so afraid of something trivial like darkness before and she had no idea why she was afraid of it now or how she could overcome it again.

Anya inclined her head “I will instruct the handmaiden to light new candles every evening which should last through the complete night”. It sounded to be the most sensible and easiest solution, she was not sure it would truly help, but it was an easy measure. She would definitely not try to put Marie to sleep in her smaller bed again in the coming night, the closeness had obviously helped and her own bed was larger and much more comfortable to share.

Marie nodded with a visibly grateful expression, but she stepped back from Anya abruptly when there was a knock on the door. She frowned in confusion when breakfast was only delivered for a single person.

“Ontari and you are going to join Lexa for breakfast” Anya explained.

Marie inclined her head, a slight frown still in place, internally wondering why Anya was sending them away at all. But with the handmaiden in the rooms with them, she did not speak up, but rather turned from Anya and changed her clothing as quickly as possible.

The general watched the girls leave together a few moments later, but she did not miss the almost sullen look Marie darted her way before the door.

Ontari had also picked up on the younger girl’s mood and she commented in an easy tone “The general must not have slept much last night. I did not hear you even once”.

Marie frowned slightly and Ontari sighed when she noted guilt flashing through her grey eyes, she had not meant to make her feel guilty in addition. But the guards in front of the commander’s quarters were already opening the doors for them, before Ontari could add anything further.

While Marie had appeared a little tense in the hall, she smiled slightly at Lexa once they entered.

The commander was still dressed in dark trousers and a simple black shirt, the signs of her station, beside the braids already woven into her brown mane, still absent. Lexa had been surprised to receive the short message from Anya, it was Clarke who had guessed that the general would probably simply wish for a few minutes in private. The blonde healer had predicted that the night would have been hard for Marie and her former mentor. Although Lexa dearly treasured the few sparse moments of solitude, she was able to share with Clarke throughout the day, she was gladly willing to include Marie in them. She was not entirely convinced about Ontari’s inclusion in them, but she could fathom why Anya had send the nightblood along.

A smile ghosted over Lexa’s lips as she took in Marie’s expression. It was obvious easily that the girl was still not feeling entirely secure again, but she was much more recognizable. Her expression turned sober when she inclined her head towards Ontari and motioned both to sit down.

Risha, who had accompanied the girl, went from Marie’s side to Lexa as well, nudging at the commander’s leg in greeting, until the woman caressed her muzzle.

Marie’s smile froze visibly when she noticed Ontari tensing slightly next to her, when Clarke stepped out of the bathroom.

Clarke did not seem affected by the negative reaction from both of the younger girls and sat down next to Lexa with a carefree smile.

Lexa watched Marie’s antics for a few moments in silence and the frown edged into her features turned into a glare in Ontari’s direction. Marie’s grey eyes kept on darting between Clarke and the nightblood girl, clearly still assessing her reaction to Clarke and mimicking her behaviour.

It took Ontari another few moments to notice the commander’s glares and she blinked in confusion until the woman made a motioning nod towards Marie a moment later. Ontari relaxed with a rather loud exhale when she finally understood what seemed to be the problem.

“Wanheda” she respectfully greeted the blonde woman.

Clarke’s smile faltered visibly but her voice was still kind “Please, just call me Clarke” she requested.

The breakfast continued in a rather strained silence. Both Clarke and Lexa tried to make a few attempts at conversation, but neither of them was sure on how to deal with Marie, who was uncharacteristically quiet, and Ontari’s presence did not help one bit.

Marie was confused by Clarke’s presence. The blonde woman looked oddly at home next to the commander and although they did not outright touch each other, they sat awfully close, barely any space left between them. She remembered speaking about Lexa’s feelings for Clarke with the commander and how weirdly they had acted around each other. She had been sure that Clarke would be able to forgive Lexa for the Mountain and it seemed she had. She did not understand the surge of jealousy coursing through her veins.

“Have you settled on a name for your foal?” Lex asked, still trying to engage her charge in a conversation which consisted of more than two words as an answer.

Marie shook her head, pulled from her thoughts for now. “I want to see her again” she proclaimed “I want her to have a fitting name”.

Lexa inclined her head with a slight smile “You may spend some time at the stables later”.

“Anya said she cannot be ridden for around five years” Marie repeated, the same disappointment colouring her tone.

Lexa nodded “But you shall have excess to another horse. If there is a horse fitting for you within the convey expected to come from the Plain Riders in the next days, you shall have one of those.”

Ontari listened to the conversation, feeling surprised at the generosity of the offer. The Plain Riders were known for breeding the best and most loyal war horses among the clans, but Marie would probably not know that.

“I’ll get another horse?” Marie checked, new enthusiasm shining in her grey eyes.

“A warrior needs more than one mount” Lexa explained good-naturedly with a slight smirk. Her words were not entirely true. High ranking warriors surely had more than one horse in their possession, but the average warrior had only one horse, if they owned one at all that is. But as the commander’s second it was not unreasonable for Marie to have two later as well. 

Clarke looked at the brunette with fond amusement dancing within her blue eyes and her “Of course that sounds very reasonable” was laced with slight sarcasm. She may be new to the culture of the grounders, but it was obvious that Lexa simply wished to spoil her charge.

Lexa shot Clarke a weak glare, but Marie did not seem to have picked up on that.

“And that horse will be old enough to be ridden?” Marie checked. Her mind was obviously occupied completely with the prospect of another horse.

“Of course” Lexa inclined her head in agreement.

“And when are they arriving?” Marie immediately asked another question.

The corners of Lexa’s lips tilted up with a smile at being confronted with Marie’s eager chirpiness again, the girl’s grey eyes shining with joy. But there was no clear answer to that. The convey could be arriving today but it could also take them up to another week to reach the capitol.

“They are expected to arrive within a week” Lexa patiently answered Marie’s question, although she had already given the answer several moments ago.

“Will there be spotted horses among them?” Marie asked next, obviously still brimming with questions.

Lexa frowned slightly, she did not understand why that would be important, neither had she any idea about the physical appearance of the horses. The horses were chosen by their strength and not their looks.

“I doubt the commander would know how they look like” Ontari interjected, surprising Lexa by actually participating in the conversation.

“Why not?” Marie asked her brows knitted together.

“A horse has to be loyal and strong, not pretty” Ontari retorted with a raised brow.

Marie frowned at the answer, but she inclined her head obviously at least convinced by the logic of the statement.

Lexa was surprised to see that Ontari seemed to be very well acquittanced to the girl’s way of thinking. “How do you find the training with Anya?” she enquired curiously. She doubted Ontari would have been faced with a training style like Anya’s in the past.

“Well…” Ontari halted, obviously thinking her words through carefully.

Lexa waited patiently for the nightblood to state her mind and she opened her mouth to tell her that she could speak freely within her quarters without the fear of retribution for having her own opinion, but Marie beat her to it.

“You don’t like her” Marie accused, grey eyes stormy and a frown edged into her features.

“I have not said that…” Ontari defended herself quickly and Lexa sensed that this discussion at least partly had already taken place before between the two girls.

“No, but you said…” the girl made quoting motions with her hands “…that you do not have to “like” her as your mentor…”.

Ontari rolled her eyes and impatience was evident in her dark eyes.

“Ontari is correct, Marie” Lexa addressed the girl, before the nightblood girl could say anything else “A first and a second do not need to share a bond of friendship, but it usually develops after some time”.

“Not in Azgeda…” Ontari interjected, voice careful and expression clearly guarded.

“You do not need to hold back in your statements, Ontari” Lexa reminded the younger nightblood again in a calm and friendly tone.

“How is it in Azgeda?” Marie asked, ignoring Lexa’s interjection in the conversation and turning her full attention to the dark-haired girl.

Ontari snorted slightly under her breath “I already told you that a first kills an unworthy second”.

Clarke looked quite horrified to hear that.

“I can guarantee you that this won’t happen” Lexa admonished both girls likewise.

Ontari inclined her head in silent acknowledgement “I find the general’s teachings to be quite…” she paused searching for the best fitting word to answer the commander’s original inquiry “…unique” the nightblood girl settled on finally.

Fond amusement danced through Lexa’s green eyes and the corners of her lips tilted upwards in a slight smile as she nodded her agreement “Anya is certainly inventive, but you shall see that all her lessons serve one purpose or another”.

Ontari raised a doubtful brow at that and her comment sounded almost sarcastic “I highly doubt that. Some seem to only aim to humiliate me…”

Lexa seemed to hide her smirk behind her cup for a second before she shook her head “It certainly may appear that way from time to time. But accepting that questioning her intentions is useless and simply trusting in Anya is one of the first and most important lessons” she explained. She could remember quite a lot of events where she herself had highly doubted that general’s sanity and feared the woman was secretly out to discretely kill her. Rather a lot of her so-called lessons seemed to only serve as Anya’s personal source of amusement and it had taken Lexa several years to recognize that all of Anya’s lessons truly had ulterior motives and quite a lot of them had served her well.

Marie frowned, she did not truly understand what they both meant, she had not found any of Anya’s lessons weird or questionable so far. The general was impatient at times, but besides that they seemed alright to her.

Lexa tried to explain to Ontari the purpose of being assigned to a first as a nightblood, after the girl had very tentatively asked after the reason.

Marie listened to the conversation loosely, not truly interested and caressed Risha’s muzzle when the wolf returned to her side. Anya had not made her another tea to settle her stomach and she already felt her stomach coiling again uncomfortably after having eaten a few bites.

When Marie suddenly dashed up from her seat and hurried to the bathroom her complexion had already turned slightly greenish.

“Let me” Clarke said to Lexa when the commander made to stand and follow her charge. She had noticed Marie’s almost wary reaction to her and through the closeness she now had to Lexa it would be important that the girl felt at least comfortable in her presence.


	182. Chapter 182

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to add this quick note, because I received a rather long and disheartening PM from a reader on fanfiction.net yesterday.  
> “Your story in not awesome. Bot is not really that bad either. I suposse is just, plain, and a little sad really.” Sort of a starting quote from the PM.   
> Basically, this one told me that he struggled to reach up around chapter 150, only enjoying the first 30 chapters and that my whole story was a huge disappointment for him. In his words it was just plain and boring and a total waste of all the potential it had. What really angered me the most was the he told me that Marie is not important at all for the story.  
> I am aware that the interest in my fanfiction is dying down, which does not surprise me all that much due to its length.   
> I am not against criticism, quiet the opposite actually. But he did not give me any pointers on what I should try to include. He only claimed that Marie had not developed from the beginning at all and is only a means to cause drama for Lexa.  
> All of you are always welcome to leave a comment or a private message. But, please, could you try to formulate criticism not in a way that it actually hurts?!
> 
> A very huge thanks to Clexas100 to keep up leaving encouraging comments, you really made my day with them yesterday…
> 
>  
> 
> Previously in chapter 181  
> Anya spends the night calming Marie down non-stop and getting no sleep herself. She sends both girls to share breakfast with the commander.

Chapter 182

Marie was sitting in front of the toilet on the floor, shaking visibly and dry heaving after she had already expelled the content of her stomach a few moments ago.

Her expression soured visibly when she noticed that it was Clarke who had followed her and not Lexa or Ontari.

Clarke kept an easy smile on her face although she noticed the girl’s reaction “Do you still feel sick?” she inquired in a soothing tone.

Marie nodded reluctantly, her stomach still rolled but there was nothing left in it to vomit.

“You have been feeling sick for some time now, haven’t you?” Clarke asked, carefully putting a hand on Marie’s forehead to feel her temperature. The child flinched visibly at her proximity but Clarke ignored her reaction.

Marie nodded again in consent, but her grey eyes looked suspiciously towards Clarke.

The blonde healer sighed “I am not going to hurt you, Marie, I just want to help you” she promised.

“So, said your mother…” Marie grumbled back. She remembered how Abby had just injected her with a narcotic without even saying anything. She internally shuddered at what the woman might have done during the time she had been out. She remembered the echoing pain of the examination, so she could guess fine enough what had happened. She hated the thought of having been exposed like that against her will.

Clarke sighed under her breath and crouched down next to Marie, putting a hand on the girl’s back and rubbing it in a soothing motion “My mother thought that it would have been easier for you this way. She did not mean to harm you, Marie, neither do I” she repeated honestly.

Marie accepted her words with a slight nod, before she turned back to the toilet. She still felt Clarke’s hand drawing circles on her back and she felt grateful for her support. She felt miserable “Why do I always feel sick?” she asked in a whining tone.

“Always?” Clarke checked and when Marie nodded her head in agreement, she asked “For how long has this happened?”

Marie shrugged her shoulders slightly “Not sure … for a few weeks … I think” she answered.

Clarke frowned, she knew that elevated levels of stress and anxiety could manifest themselves in a very real physical problem and she guessed that Marie was either developing an eating disorder or her problems with her stomach only stemmed from the trauma she had suffered and would ease once she would feel safe again.

“Anya had a tea that helped” Marie said after a few moments of silence.

Clarke nodded, she knew of the tea usually given to patients by the healers of Polis to settle an upset stomach and she doubted it would have been a special brew. She had some of the needed herbs stored in her bag in her room.

Lexa hovered inside of the opened door when Clarke stood up quickly, ordering Marie to stay put in a calm tone. She let her hand rest on the commander’s hip for a moment, giving her a soft smile and a quick peck on the lips.

Marie had watched the exchange with a scowl in place, she felt her stomach rolling even more at the sight.

Lexa gave Marie a silent reassuring smile before she returned to Ontari. Risha sat in front of the nightblood wagging her tail at the girl and looking at a piece of fruit in her hand. The nightblood looked a weird mixture between confused what the animal wanted and freaked out that she was now the target of Risha’s attention.

Risha’s ears only shortly flicked when Clarke bustled through the room to retrieve the herbs for the tea, hot water and a cup and returned to keep Marie company in the bathroom until the younger girl felt better.

Amusement danced through Lexa’s eyes as she watched Ontari backing away from Risha. The nightblood had unknowingly chosen the one and only fruit Risha seemed to not be able to get enough off and no matter how often Lexa had scolded the wolf for begging for it, it was no use.

She had come to a sort of compromise with the wolf. If Risha remained sitting on the ground and patiently waited until she was finished with her meal, she would share the fruit with the wolf, but Ontari would not know that of course.

“She is waiting for you to give her her share” Lexa explained with a slight smirk when Ontari’s brows scrunched up in confusion.

“These are Risha’s favourite, she always gets a piece when I have them” the commander added after a beat of silence.

Ontari frowned and she nodded with a cautious expression, her dark eyes flicking between the wolf and the remaining fruit in her hand. She was still not entirely convinced of the wolf’s goodwill and did not wish to offend the animal. She thought wolves were only eating meat though.

“Do I just toss it to her?” Ontari asked after a moment. The wolf had remained a reasonable distance away from her, but her ice blue eyes remained transfixed on the fruit in her fingers and she felt it unnerving.

Lexa inclined her head “She can take it from your fingers as well” she said trying to hide her rising amusement at the look of pure horror crossing Ontari’s dark eyes.

Ontari contemplated just tossing the fruit at the wolf, but she was keenly aware of the commander watching her every move and she did not wish to show just how afraid she was of the wolf. She had seen the previous evening that her fear was not warranted at all, but she could not shake it off.

She tried to pull up a brave front and carefully extended the piece of fruit towards the wolf, trying to keep it only in the very tips of her finger in hopes to minimize the risk of being bitten. To her utter surprise the wolf seemed extremely cautious of her fingers and she did not even feel them graze her skin at all as Risha carefully took the fruit from her fingers.

A slight smile spread over her lips, feeling irrationally proud with herself, while Risha munched on the fruit happily. Her smile froze somewhat when she noticed how Lexa watched her with amusement in her eyes.

Ontari straightened herself and whipped the rest of the smile from her features looking at a wall of the room in stead of in the commander’s direction.

Lexa sighed at the girl’s reaction and her voice was inquiring as she said “Why do you think you are here?”

Ontari narrowed her eyes at the woman with a slight frown “Because the general sent me here with Marie” she answered evenly.

The commander sighed under her breath as she inclined her head “Simply put, yes. But you think that this time is solely beneficial to Marie?”

Ontari’s lips thinned visibly “I would not see another purpose” she bit back, although she had already been privy to glimpses of the commander hidden beneath her title.

Lexa shook her head in the negative “Consequently, you would regard Anya’s motivation for mentoring you as solely being Marie additionally?”

Ontari remained resolutely silent. She knew why Marie had brought up her lack of a personal connection to the general again. The girl seemed to have gotten it stuck in her mind that she was a part of her “family” now, but that would also mean that she would need to get closer to the commander and that was something she found highly unlikely. She was still in Polis with the purpose to rise as the next commander, she knew better now than to assume that she was exactly prepared well enough for that. But she did not need a connection to the commander, neither to the other novitiates.

“The other novitiates do not have a first” Ontari commented into the silence after long moments. The commander’s ability to simple wait out whoever sat opposite of her in a perfectly calm demeanour, still unnerved her.

Lexa inclined her head in agreement “True. But I have found the experiences being Anya’s second provided me with unique and I am still evaluating candidates to mentor the older nightbloods as well. Being a true leader is about more than just strength”

Ontari rolled her eyes “Yeah, yeah, I know. Wisdom and compassion…”

“I would cease that attitude in your position” Lexa warned the younger nightblood lightly, but her eyes had gotten unyielding. “Do you regard me as weak?” the commander challenged her student after a moment.

Ontari shook her head quickly and her dark eyes were honest. She would not dare to label the commander as weak. In all honesty the commander had proven to be beyond as what she would have defined as strength, she was simply much more than brute strength. If she compared what Nia had been like as a leader with Lexa as the commander, the contrast could not have been much grander. When it became clear that the commander was obviously not satisfied with a simple non-verbal answer Ontari said “Certainly not, although your actions are not always compliant with the definition of strength that I have been taught”. She waited with an almost baited breath for the woman’s reaction, she knew that her words might be taken as an insult.

Lexa crossed her legs over each other taking up a relaxed posture. Ontari seemed to be well aware that she was towing a line with her words, but Lexa wished for the younger girl to have the possibility to speak completely freely within her quarters. She inclined her head in agreement “You may state your mind without fear of retribution, Ontari” she informed the Ice Nation nightblood in a kind tone, before her expression turned inquiringly “In which aspects does what I do contrast to your views of strengths?”

Ontari seemed to contemplate her answer for a few moments and Lexa patiently waited, before the younger nightblood spoke up again. Ontari’s voice sounded thoughtful and there seemed to be confusion within her eyes as she mused “You are … gentle at times … but I do not think that diminished your strength. I have seen both you and Anya handle Marie with care and gentleness, but it does not make you weak.” Her dark eyes shortly travelled to the door of the bathroom, before she continued “You listen to complaints of your citizens and you actually try to better their lives”. It was obvious that the girl was still slightly astounded by this.

Lexa inclined her head in agreement, but she remained silent, it seemed as if Ontari had not quiet yet articulated all her thoughts on the matter.

“You have made allies out of the clans” Ontari added. Before coming to Polis, she had been convinced that the coalition was a bad thing and only put into place by the Trikru commander to exploit all the other clans and boost her own clan, but she knew better now. It was reasonable that constant wars were weakening all of them and did not make it possible for the clans to develop into something better.

“You do not plan to erase all of Ice Nation…” she mused. Ontari was well aware that Nia had given more than enough reasons to Lexa to want to destroy the complete clan and yet the commander had not ordered their armies into the north yet. She knew that they were preparing for an outright war, but its goal seemed to be to dethrone Nia and not to destroy each and every village on their path.

Lexa shook her head “No, I certainly do not. What would you decide in my stead?” she questioned in a calm tone.

Ontari did not seem to take long to chose an answer, but Lexa noticed how her eyes shortly flitted back to the bathroom door and it internally astounded her just how great of an impact Marie obviously had on the younger nightblood girl. “Kill them all” she answered darkly and the anger was obvious in her features.

Lexa could even understand to some extent just how personally betrayed the younger nightblood must be feeling by Nia. She had been practically raised by the woman and no matter how vile she would have been to Ontari, as she grew up, Nia would have been her only role model and the girl would have never questioned any of the queen’s teachings.

She minutely entertained the idea of just how differently everything might have come to pass, without Marie inside of the picture. Roan would have probably never offered her any information regarding Ontari’s existence. Who knew if the younger nightblood girl might have even succeeded in her plan to assassinate the conclave. Marie had been the one to timidly propose to have Ontari taught in Polis and not simply executed. Anya would certainly have never returned to her side without Marie’s presence as well. And there was no doubt in her mind that the Ice Nation nightblood would have even contemplated to cooperate within Polis without Marie’s unbiased kindness. Lexa shook her head, trying to diffuse this train of thought from her mind, it was entirely possible that her complete reign would have already fallen by now. But there was no sense in contemplating the “what if’s”, she could only be grateful that everything had plaid out in the way it had. Marie would recover from Nia’s torture as well, she was sure of that.

“I can sympathise with your thirst for revenge” Lexa admitted, darkness flitting through her green eyes and her features setting into harsh lines “But it should be directed towards Nia and not the entirety of Azgeda” she cautioned, voice calmer again minutely.

Ontari inclined her head thoughtfully, slight surprise flashing over her features.

Before the younger nightblood could say anything else, the door to the bathroom opened again and Marie returned again, keeping a visible distance to Clarke. A cup was clutched inside her hands and her complexion still had a slightly greenish tint to it.

Lexa gave the young girl a sympathetic smile and Marie plopped down beside the commander on the couch, leaning against her taller frame immediately. With a light sigh under her breath, Lexa put an arm around Marie’s smaller body, giving her a gentle squeeze. She bandied a silent look with Clarke and her brows creased slightly at finding the blonde’s features troubled. It seemed Clarke’s intentions to get closer to her young charge had not been as fruitful as she had hoped.

Ontari watched the younger girl’s antics with the hint of a frown. She was slightly confused that Marie now openly sought out Lexa’s proximity in such a needy fashion and it was obvious that the blonde girl was feeling content in the exact spot she was in now. She did not understand the slight flare of jealousy inside the pit of her stomach at the sight, or why she had thought that she could reassure Marie in Lexa’s stead.

She noted how Marie’s grey eyes glared at Clarke when the woman leaned down and placed a soft farewell kiss on the commander’s lips, excusing herself to join the other healers on their rounds. But the girl’s features looked like incarnated innocence once Clarke had left the room and Lexa’s attention returned to Marie.

“Do you wish to try eat something else?” Lexa asked her young charge in a soft tone, offering one of the honey cakes the girl enjoyed to her.

Marie took the offered cake with a slight smile. Now that her stomach had settled, she could feel how empty it was and she took a few ginger bites of the cake, waiting for her body to react to her intake, before she devoured the whole thing a few moments later.

Marie frowned slightly when she remembered that she had not even liked sweetened tea before she had regained her memories, but now the cakes tasted absolutely divine again and Clarke had added a rather huge amount of honey to her tea as well. The first sips of the bitter brew had left her coughing and pulling a face at the disgusting taste.

Lexa addressed the girl in a soft tone pulling her from her thoughts, asking if she remembered what had triggered her panic attack the previous day.

Marie brows knitted together as she tried to recall her exact thoughts and her breathing quickened immediately once she did and she felt goose bumps raise on her arms, as the queen’s words started to shrilly resonate through the forefront of her mind again.

“Marie” Lexa let go of the girl and gently turned her around to sit facing to her. She recognized the signs of another panic attack coming up, now that Abby had briefed Clarke on them via their radio. She needed to remind the girl that she was just being caught up in a memory and that she was safe, grounding her mind to the presence and calling it out of the past.

Marie felt someone’s hands on her shoulders and her body stiffened, she was waiting for the slap to land on her cheek and she was confused why nothing seemed to happen. The queen’s voice sounded loudly through her mind, but on the edge of her periphery she noticed another voice.

When it looked as if her attempts to get Marie’s attention had all failed, Lexa quickly turned the girl around again, firmly pulling her against her chest and encircling her inside of her arms. The girl was fighting against her hold weakly, but she was no match against her strength.

Ontari watched the proceedings with bewilderment. She was unsure if Marie would need to see a healer. She had not been a witness to the blonde’s last panic attack and the sight honestly frightened her.

Marie tried to focus on the voice which seemed to battle within her mind against the queen’s words, she heard another rhythmic sound now and the smell evading her mind was oddly familiar and soothing. It did not match with her memory any longer and she tried to focus her attention on the things which seemed confusing.

It seemed to take a long time until she could actually hear the words the other voice kept on whispering “Focus on me, Marie, focus on my breathing and focus on my heartbeat”. She felt that her hand was pressed against someone else’s stomach and she could feel it rising and falling beneath her hand. The queen would have never touched her in such a fashion, her touches had been different. “Match your breathing to mine…in…and out….in….and out…” the voice continued and Marie tried to follow its direction, very slowly she realized that it was Lexa speaking to her and she recognized the uniquely earthy smell of the woman enveloping her completely.

Although she still felt slightly shaken, Marie baked away from Lexa a little bit “I am fine” she insisted after a short moment, but her voice sounded wavering and anything but convincing.

Lexa sighed a breath of relieve. Marie’s panic attack had been stopped way earlier than the previous day and she had been able to actually calm her down before she could lose herself completely. She tightened her arms around Marie slightly and said with another sigh “I would say it is safe to assume that thinking about Nia triggers your attacks” the commander’s tone had been cautious and she watched Marie’s features for any signs of another panic attack.

Marie nodded, her expression crest fallen and burrowing deeply against Lexa’s frame.

“You will learn how to deal with them” Lexa assured the girl. It was obvious, they would require Abby’s assistance once again, the woman would know best on how to teach Marie the techniques she needed to know. Anya, Ontari and she would need to learn them in addition to be able to help Marie, should the girl not be able to ground herself on her own.


	183. Chapter 183

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the encouraging comments =)  
> Previously in chapter 182  
> Clarke tries to connect with Marie, but fails. Lexa and Ontari talk with each other. Marie has another slight panic attack, but Lexa helps her with it.

Chapter 183

The conclave had been all cheer and smiles when they heard that Marie had regained her complete memories and they welcomed her back heartedly.

While Marie was crowded by most of the conclave, Ontari hung back and observed how Kato was the only one who did not seem to share the full extent of joy of the other novitiates.

Lexa watched from her throne with a soft smile ghosting around the corners of her lips how the novitiates expressed their joy much more openly and genuinely than she had expected. It was obvious just how much most of them were happy to see Marie returned.

The commander motioned Kato over to her and asked the nightblood boy came over obediently. “You do not seem pleased to see Marie return” Lexa commented, expression blank and her tone even.

Kato glanced up at his commander with a slight frown and his expression turned defensive “She could be loyal to Azgeda now” he mused in an almost sullen tone.

Aden, who had also stood back slightly, to give the younger ones more space with Marie and Risha, rolled his eyes.

Lexa spotted the blonde boy’s reaction and was sure that this argument had already been proposed by Kato to the other novitiates and judging from Kato’s attitude, he had not found any sympathy there.

Ontari stood close enough to the throne to have been able to catch the boy’s words and her dark eyes were glowering angrily at him at the accusation. She was balling her hands into angry fists at her side.

To Lexa’s chagrin Marie had also caught the boy’s words and the personal offence was painted on her features quiet strongly. She seemed to be battling with tears for long seconds, before Boo called her attention and Marie visibly forced a smile on her features for the young boy’s sake.

The way Kato now openly glared at Ontari made it obvious that the boy did not care at all that the Ice Nation nightblood had officially proclaimed her loyalty to Lexa as the commander. He apparently distrusted both of them now.

The only consolation to Lexa was that no one else seemed to share his opinion. In an open show of support Aden even went so far as to step away from Kato and walk over to Ontari. The Ice Nation nightblood looked openly puzzled for a second by his gesture, but she inclined her head in silent acknowledgment.

Lexa’s lips thinned visibly as she stared down at Kato. The boy was foolish to openly disagree with her opinion in such a fashion and she would need to keep a closer eye on the boy for sure to make sure his attitude changed or he could be the cause of trouble in the future.

Kato seemed to understand her silent warning without any need for her to say anything at all. The boy practically seemed to shrink under her piercing glare and he mumbled an apology before keeping his eyes trained on the ground at his feet.

Lexa dismissed the novitiates into Titus’ care, Ontari joining their ranks for the next lesson, only short moments later.

The flamekeeper had been notified of the change of the situation regarding Marie’s memories and the man had appeared to be visibly relieved of the news. Lexa had not cared to ask after the nature of his relieve, she still doubted the man would ever truly learn to appreciate Marie for herself.

Marie watched the novitiates leave with a slight frown. Her thoughts had kept on circling to what Kato had said. She did not understand what she had done to the boy for him to have such an opinion of her.

“Do you think I would be disloyal?” the girl asked in an inquiring tone and her grey eyes seemed stormy.

Lexa shook her head, not even needing a moment to contemplate her answer and her voice left no room for any sliver of doubt “No, Marie, you should not pay Kato’s words any mind”.

Marie sighed but she inclined her head in acknowledgment, her shoulders still hunched slightly. Another thing still burdening her mind. Kato’s open distrust remembered her of Echo’s initial reaction to her, the assassin had clearly never liked her at all and regarded her as weak.

“What is on your mind?” Lexa inquired softly, motioning the child to step closer to the throne. With a gentle finger she urged the girl’s chin upwards, so that they could look into each other’s eyes.

“Do you think Echo knew…?” Marie breathed out the question running through her mind. She did not know if she truly wanted to know the answer though.

“Knew what?” Lexa retorted with a slightly creased brow. She did not understand what her charge was asking after at all.

Marie began shaking visibly and her voice wavered strongly “…of what the queen would do to me…?” the child’s voice gave out at the end.

Lexa closed her eyes tightly for a second, feeling the girl’s apparent misery tearing at herself. She wished with every fibre of her being to possess the possibility to turn back the time and simply execute Echo before she could have brought Marie into Nia’s clutches. “I do not know, Marie” she answered the girl honestly and she tried to keep the regret from her tone. She wished Anya and she would not have failed Marie in such a horrible way.

Marie nodded again, obviously trying to pull herself back together.

“Do you wish to return to my quarters or seek out Anya?” Lexa offered. A meeting with the ambassadors was scheduled next and she doubted that Marie would find it entertaining in any way.

Marie shook her head in denial, she knew that she should attend those meetings as the commander’s second. If Kato’s opinion was any indication, she needed to show her unwavering loyalty to Lexa.

The possibility of seeking out Anya became null a moment later when the general strode into the throne room.

Marie immediately noticed guiltily that dark circles were forming beneath her mentor’s eyes already and the exhaustion of the woman was obvious in the way she carried herself.

“What have you done now?” Anya teased the girl, interpreting her guilty expression in another fashion.

Marie bristled slightly, a pout forming on her lips “I have not done anything…” she proclaimed sulkily.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at her former mentor but gave their charge a gentle look “She was perfectly well behaved” she assured the general in an almost snide tone.

Anya sighed, rolling her eyes slightly “She looked so guilty” she defended herself.

“Yeah…” Marie interrupted her “…for keeping you awake…” she admitted and the guilt was palpable on her features.

Anya shook her head vehemently and crouched down in front of the girl, bringing them on the same eye level “That is nothing for you to feel guilty for” the general announced in a firm tone “I will stay up for as many nights as you need, Marie” she added after a moment, brown eyes honest and resolute.

Marie nodded with a slightly watery smile, gratitude swimming in her grey eyes.

“Marie will need to learn urgently on how to handle a panic attack” Lexa remarked, breaking the little moment between her former mentor and their charge “All of us will need to learn how to help her with them as well”.

Anya nodded with an understanding expression while Marie looked uncomfortable with the prospect.

“Abby knows of ways how you can pull yourself out of one before it can truly paralyze you” Lexa assured the girl in a soft tone.

Marie’s expression darkened visibly at the prospect of having to deal with Clarke’s mother again soon. “I don’t want to talk with her…” Marie grumbled under her breath defiance colouring her tone.

Lexa shook her head with a chiding expression “We shall see about that” she commented vaguely. It was possible that Abby would be able to tell them the theory of the techniques solely through the radio anyway. But in her mind Marie should not render out the possibility of taking help from the Skykru healer.

Anya guided the girl away from the throne and to sit down on a chair designated for her, while the ambassadors started to file into the room slowly.

Marie lightly smiled at Monty once she caught sight of the older boy and he gave her a friendly wave in response. The girl’s change of mind was obvious in the very way she carried herself with.

Like Lexa had predicted, Marie found the whole meeting completely boring and Anya tapped her thigh a few times to stop her from swinging her legs beneath the chair in boredom. The general glared at her young charge a few times and Marie immediately straightened herself.

The meeting seemed to stretch forever and Marie could not help the utter boredom resurfacing again and she started fidgeting in her place in impatience.

Marie had stopped listening to the meeting shortly after it had started. She knew the ambassadors were discussing about when they should gather their army together in entirety to let them march into Azgeda lands.

Anya’s lips thinned visibly and she hissed at the girl to stop this nonsense immediately.

Marie’s eyes widened visibly in reaction and she felt her body stiffening of its own accord. She remembered how she had been punished for fidgeting in meetings with the queen.

“Breathe, Marie” Anya muttered at the girl under her breath, worry filtering into her tone.

The ambassadors of the Plain Riders and the Desert Clan were fortunately arguing so loudly at the moment, that no one was paying them any mind.

Lexa noticed that something was wrong with Marie from the corner of her eye and she dearly hoped that Anya would be able to calm the girl before she would have a full-blown panic attack. She did not wish for the ambassadors to witness such a scene.

Thankfully Marie’s panic seemed to only freeze her in place and Anya finally opted to just let the girl be for the time being.

Lexa tried to bring the meeting to an end soon after, their arguments were circling around each other without coming to any solution anyway. The clans were still indecisive about the timing of the attack on Azgeda and in the end Lexa was the one to have the final say anyway. But Lexa still wished to wait a little bit longer in the hopes that starving out the Ice Nation would have the most severe effect possible.

Anya remained in her seat with worry coursing through her mind. Marie had not shown any reaction at all to the ambassadors leaving and now that she truly focused on the child, she noticed how short the girl’s breathing was.

Lexa stood from her throne and approached Marie cautiously. The girl flinched violently, when she tried to touch her hands, which seemed to claw at the armrests of the chair.

Lexa quickly tried to explain how she had pulled Marie from her panic in the morning and she asked Anya what might have triggered her episode.

Anya furrowed her brow, she was not entirely sure what had caused the girl to react in such a fashion. She had lowly scolded the girl to behave and she hoped that this had not been the cause.

“Marie” Lexa addressed the girl, ignoring the child’s severe flinch and pulling her into her arms, to take a similar position to a few hours prior. She repeated what she had done before and slowly Marie’s panic seemed to decrease.

The girl’s cheeks were tinted with a blush, when she noticed that only Lexa and Anya were left in the throne room, she had not even realized that everyone else had left. She dearly hoped that she had not caused some kind of disturbance.

Marie admitted reluctantly after some gentle prompting from Lexa that she had been whipped as a punishment for fidgeting in a meeting and that she had remembered the punishment.

Lexa and Anya bandied a worried look. How were they supposed to treat Marie normally if a little reproach could send the girl into a fit of panic?

When Marie tried to apologize for causing a scene, Lexa shushed the girl immediately, assuring her once again that there was no need for her to feel guilty for anything.

“Can I visit the foal now?” Marie asked softly.

Lexa nodded and Anya offered to accompany the girl. It would be the first time Marie would leave the walls of the tower after regaining her memories and she did not wish to leave the girl alone for it.

Anya’s slight foreboding was proven as valid when Marie seemed to completely freeze for a few moments once they stepped out of the tower. To her utter surprise the girl did not seek out her closeness like she had anticipated, but rather straightened herself and her expression became totally blank in the blink of an eye.

The girl’s gaze seemed to wander around the crowd restlessly, obviously looking for a possible threat and Anya felt a painful flash at the apparent sign of her deep fear. The girl had not been distrustful before and walking through the streets of Polis had always appeared to be something Marie enjoyed, seeing something new and fascinating all the time.

Anya nevertheless stepped closer to the girl, a glare on her features when a few citizens personally wanted to speak to Marie, probably to congratulate the girl on her recovery. It was obvious just how uncomfortable Marie was with the attention and she sent Anya a little grateful glance on the way to the stables.

Marie relaxed visibly once they entered the stables, but she hesitated in the row of boxes, turning to Anya before she continued.

Anya looked down at the girl with slight confusion.

“You’ll protect me, right?” the girl asked in a low tone, visibly shaken and her eyes still darted around the place in obvious fright.

Anya sighed, trying to swallow past the lump suddenly lodged deep within her throat “Always, Marie” she insisted honestly. She knew that she could not promise to protect Marie from all harm, the last months had been painful proof of that, but she would do everything in her powers to protect the child.

Marie nodded although it was obvious that the girl was less than truly reassured.

Anya gave the girl’s shoulders a soothing squeeze and when Marie’s features lifted again and a soft smile appeared on her face, the girl turned immediately and almost skipped down the row of boxes, coming to a skidding halt in front of _Skairasha’s_ box.

“Look, Anya” she prompted the general, tone exited now and her grey eyes shone with joy at the sight of the young foal. The small animal was already sure on its legs now and it recognized Marie as well.

Marie giggled openly when the foal clumsily came over from her mother’s side and peaked its head through the fence. She cautiously extended her hand and stroked over its muzzle when it did not pull away immediately.

“It is so soft” she commented to Anya.

The general stepped over to her own mount and greeted the hazelnut horse which seemed pleased to see her owner again.

“Are you up to some training?” Anya asked the girl after long silent moments, which had only been interrupted by Marie’s occasional comments. Anya was genuinely enjoying to be able to observe Marie in such a joyful state and she almost regretted having to cut her time with the foal short.

Marie nodded immediately, although she internally wondered why Anya was asking at all. It was not for her to decide if she wished to train or not.

“Have you settled on a name for the foal yet?” Anya asked as she guided the girl from the stables, a hand at the girl’s back.

Marie nodded with a thoughtful expression “I thought about Muffin” she proclaimed.

“Muffin?” Anya echoed with a frown and a slight grimace. Naming a future war horse after a pastry would be something the child would do, but it would be severely unfitting of the horse.

“Not good?” Marie checked picking up on Anya’s distaste of her suggestion.

“It would be highly unusual and definitely not fitting for a war horse” Anya commented honestly.

Marie frowned slightly and she grumbled “I thought I could choose whatever name I want”. The hint of a pout on her lips and her eyes downcast.

Anya nodded with another sigh “You certainly can” she tried to appease the child.

Marie only hummed in response and they crossed the rest of the way towards the training pit in silence.

Training with Marie worked well enough and Anya was relieved to note that the girl was not freezing up during fighting. She had feared the girl could be struck by panic during combat as well, but the girl was doing reasonably well. It was obvious that taking the sleeping tonic had cost her some of her physical strength, but that would right itself on its own with a little time.

Marie frowned visibly when Alira appeared at the training pits relying to Anya that the commander wished to speak with her. The girl was obviously put off when she was told that the general was expected to arrive alone.

“Do you wish to return to the stables again?” Anya checked on the way back to the tower.

Marie shook her head in denial. What she wanted, was to accompany Anya, but she doubted that the woman would indulge her.

“You can go down and resume reading the first commander’s journal” Anya suggested, trying to find something to spike the girl’s interest with.

Marie’s frown only deepened and she shrugged nonchalantly as her only response. She was not really feeling like going into the dungeons and reading.

“Have the novitiates already returned from their training?” Marie asked with a hopeful note in her voice and her shoulders fell visibly when Alira told her they were not expected for a few hours. Titus had taken the children out of Polis for a field exercise and that might as well take the complete day.

Marie sighed moodily and she bid goodbye to Anya reluctantly.

“Behave” Anya reminded the child in a firm tone. She did not feel really comfortable with leaving the girl unattended now, but she had the suspicion that Lexa asked to see her alone because they would be speaking with Abby.

Marie nodded with a slight roll of her eyes and she walked through the tower aimlessly. She did not pay her feet any real mind and she stopped in her tracks when she realized that her feet had subconsciously carried her in front of Roan’s door.


	184. Chapter 184

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following chapters contains self-harm. So, if you do not wish to read about it, skip the chapter please.
> 
> Previously in chapter 183  
> Marie sees the novitiates again, where Kato proclaims to distrust her and Ontari. Marie attends an ambassador meeting with Anya and has a small panic attack. After a short visit to the stables and a training session, she is left alone and ends in front of Roan’s door.

Chapter 184

Marie looked at the two guards posted in front of Roan’s door. Both were young men and the tattoos decorating the sides of their heads indicated them easily as being members of Trikru. But she did not know either of them personally.

She frowned slightly when it occurred to her that it was entirely possible that she did not possess the authorisation to visit the Ice Nation prince any longer. She was fairly certain that the commander would have instructed the guards around the tower on which places she was allowed to be in and in which not. She had only regained her complete memories shortly before and she doubted that Lexa would have changed her orders yet. It was logical for the commander to have distrusted her before after all.

The guards had only shortly glanced at her before their eyes returned to the wall opposite of them and Marie wondered why they outright ignored her.

When she took a step in the direction of the door, one of the guards shook his head “No one is allowed entry” he proclaimed in a strong tone, laced with authority.

Sighing under her breath, Marie decided that it would probably not be worth it, to try and argue with them. She would simply have to ask Lexa if she was allowed to visit Roan or not.

Although she had not intended consciously to visit the man at all, she felt her heart rate decrease back to a normal level a short time later and she only realized just how scared she had been of facing Roan. Maybe visiting him had not been such a good idea after all. She doubted that he would actually harm her, but he shared his mother’s eyes and she did not know if she would be able to be faced with this resemblance.

With no other place to go to, Marie went up to the top floor of the tower. She shortly waved at Gustus standing post in front of the commander’s quarters together with Ryder, before she went into the quarters she now shared with Anya and Ontari.

She sighed under her breath, she did not know what to do with herself now that she was alone. She dearly hoped that whatever it was that Lexa was discussing with Anya would not take too long.

Marie plopped down on her bed, getting rid of her boots and sliding a fur over her body. She took the book from the chair next to her bed, which Anya had left there and she began to read.

But it seemed that her mind did not wish to be captured by the words. She had to re-read each sentence for what felt like a hundred times and still had forgotten what the words had actually said at the end of the complete sentence.

With a frustrated huff, Marie closed the book again and placed it back on the chair. She felt restless and did not like the feeling at all.

She shoved the fur down her body again and her eyes landed on the leather-bound book still lying on the table. It had been a gift from Lexa. Apparently, Abby had told them that writing her feelings down in a journal could be a way for her to work through aspects of her trauma without the need to truly speak about it. Clarke had tried to explain the technique to her and the theory behind it. She had accepted the book with a frown, asking what she was supposed to write down at all. Clarke had told her that she could write down whatever she wished or that she did not have to write at all, but could rather just doodle around, going with her feelings.

She stood from the bed and went over to the table, sitting down on one of the chairs as she let her fingers glide over the soft leather into which the book had been bound. Anya had said to her that such a book was costly, to manufacture a book needed a long time and a lot of effort. She knew that it had been Anya’s way to subtly tell her to take good care of such a gracious gift.

She remembered watching a film with her mother once where the female protagonist had been a young teenage girl and she had kept a diary, writing down in it what had transpired over the day each night. Maybe she could think of it in such a fashion.

Marie opened the first page of the book and stared at the blank page for a moment, she distinctly remembered that the girl from the film had started all of her entries with “Dear diary”, so she wrote that down at the top of the page as well.

She hesitated for long moments until she decided to introduce herself.

_Dear diary,_

_My name is Marie Matthews and I was born on the Ark, but I am living with the commander Lexa and her general Anya in Polis now and this is how I came to be here: …_

 

Marie continued to write for a long time, filling almost three pages. She had not written down anything about her life on the Ark. It was not important to her anymore in her mind, but had focused her first entry to all which had happened since she had been forced into the dropship.

She stopped abruptly in her writing when she reached the hunting trip during which she had lost her memory as her fingers began to shake and her eyes blurred. She wished that she would have just listened to Anya’s orders and hid within the cave, she would have never fallen from the tree and lost her memory and she would not have run from the woman on the day later, when she had not recognized her voice any longer.

Marie did not realize how much force she had been exerting on the feather in her hand until it cracked in half with an audible snap. The ends she had held in her hands cut into her palms deeply and she watched the blood flow from the cuts with a morbid fascination. She let the destroyed feather fall from her hand and watched how a few drops of her red blood fell onto the page of the journal she had been writing on.

Annoyance flashed through her mind when she saw that she had already sullied the commander’s gift. Her thoughts came to a shuddering halt and she pushed the whole journal and everything else from the table with an angry snarl rumbling from her throat.

That was what she was now, sullied.

Anger coursed hotly through her veins and she was suddenly breathing heavily as she clenched her hands into tight fists at her side and her whole body shook with a whirlwind of emotions.

Giving into a sudden urge Marie threw over the whole table with a loud yell, turning around and simply grabbing anything she could find, blind to what it was she actually was throwing around in her untamed anger.

She felt inexplicitly angry. Angry at queen Nia for putting her trough everything, angry at herself for everything she had done, angry at her fate which had turned out so bleakly, angry at the whole world and the injustice of it all and even angry at Lexa and Anya for not having been there when she would have needed them most.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks and Marie had run out of things to throw around and stood in the middle of the chaos, but she did not feel even the slightest bit calmer. She felt the pressing urge just to hit something, to shout something in the vain attempt to stop her own thoughts from whispering loudly just how sullied she was now.

She was gasping for breath at the realisation that there was nothing she could do which would ever return her innocence to her. She had killed without any hesitation under Nia’s order, the queen had taken every thing from her and turned her into a vicious monster.

Marie tried to calm herself when she realized what she had done to Anya’s possession with widened grey eyes. She went over into the bathroom intent to wash the blood from her hands, in her anger she had only deepened the cut from the feather and the blood was already drying on her skin.

As if possessed Marie grabbed the coarse brush from the sink and scrubbed at her hands. She shuddered when she suddenly remembered how dirty she had felt after the queen had touched her intimately for the first time. Crying and sobbing Marie tore at her clothes desperately, she needed to clean herself. She did not know if she would ever be able to wash the queen of her completely, but she needed to try.

The water in the bathing tube was cold and it had not been removed from the morning, but Marie did not care. She did not even feel the temperature consciously, her body suddenly felt as numb as her mind did.

She scrubbed at all the skin she could reach with as much force as her shaking fingers could muster. She did not even realize that she was causing little wounds scattered all over her body, but she noticed when the colour of the water became slightly pinkish. With a shriek Marie climbed out of the tube looking at the water with horror. She had even tainted the water.

With a frustrated snarl she threw the brush across the room against a wall and shoved at the tube, her only thought that it needed to be emptied of the water. But the metal tube did not budge under her force and Marie turned away from it, anger and frustration overshadowing everything else in her mind.

She sobbed loudly when she glanced at her complexion in the mirror. She did not notice the many bleeding fresh wounds, her grey eyes remained hefted onto the kill marks. She recognized the two kill marks Lexa and Anya had given her. But they contrasted the kill marks Nia had etched into her skin. Nia had not cared of the position and some of the marks were not even distinct even more. She was not even able to count every single one and she ground her teeth together at the realization that she was not able to recall every death she had caused either.

Her fingers shook strongly, water and blood dripping from them onto the floor, when she thought that she had not earned them. These deaths had not been brought with honour, she did not deserve them, they needed to go.

Frantically Marie searched threw a drawer of Anya’s cupboard. She remembered where she had found hidden daggers before. With a slight hysterical laugh Marie noticed that the woman had not changed their location either.

She closed her hand around the handle of one of the blades strongly, numb to the pain she was causing herself. Marie returned to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror.

Her grey eyes looked wild when she met her own gaze, but her eyes fell to the kill marks immediately. Her skin was still glistening with moisture, as she had not bothered to dry off at all.

Marie’s teeth were clattering, while her whole body shook. Flashes of the queen forcing her into her bed and the queen etching the little scars into her skin intermixed with her own voice screaming at her just how tainted she was and the kill marks she did not deserve were a visible reminder of that.

Marie steeled herself, grounding her teeth together, she needed to this, she knew that and her fingers stopped shaking.

She watched herself in the mirror but in her mind, it felt as if she was watching someone else, for some reason she did not feel the cold steel pressing against her skin at all. She had expected the feeling of pain to register in her mind, as she watched blood flow from the cut she had made, but all she truly felt was relieve.

Anya’s daggers were in pristine condition and wickedly sharp, so Marie did not have to exert much force at all to cut the skin covering her collarbone. She was careful not to destroy the two kills marks that needed to remain and that had belonged there in the first place.

She let the dagger fall to the floor with a clattering sound suddenly when the feeling of relieve left her mind, all that was left behind was emptiness and numbness.

She staggered back into the main room of Anya’s quarters and she felt fresh tears sliding down her cheeks.

All strengths left her body all of a sudden and Marie fell to her knees in the middle of the room. She did not feel how her knees dug into the shards of a mug she had destroyed previously and she remained kneeling on the floor, crying almost soundlessly, although she did not know for sure for what she was crying. Did she even have a right to cry any longer?

 

Anya felt as if her thoughts were more turmoiled now after listening to Abby explain to them on how to handle certain situation than they had been before.

The Skykru doctor was convinced that they should expect some kind of breakdown from Marie very soon. Anya and Lexa had both been optimistic that the girl did seem to cope rather well, minus her sleeping issues, now that she had regained her memories. Abby had been insistent that it was more probable that the girl would really to start to work through her actual trauma from now on and had not truly thought about it before.

Trying to figure out what upset Marie in particular would not be too easy. Abby had explained to them that basically everything from a certain word or phrase, a touch, a loud noise, a smell or even a simple object could awake memories in the child’s mind procuring a panic attack.

At least Lexa’s way of dealing with Marie having a panic attack had been correct so far, but it would certainly cause problems if the girl would have a panic attack during training or outside of the tower in general.

Abby had cautioned them that Marie should still remain under constant watch, but Anya had scoffed at that. The girl was not a small child after all and should be perfectly fine to be on her own for a few hours. She had left her at the base floor of the tower and Anya was fairly certain that the girl would have followed her suggestion and went into the commander’s temple reading the first commander’s journal.

She recognized the error of that thought as soon as she left the commander’s quarters. Gustus had stopped her shortly and said that Marie had returned to their quarters some time ago and it had sounded as if she had been throwing stuff around.

Anya narrowed her eyes in slight anger and nodded curtly to Gustus, striding through the hall quickly and almost ripping the door open. She had told Marie before that it was perfectly acceptable to vent off her anger on the training pits or even in the woods, but that is was absolutely unacceptable to do so within their quarters and destroy any of her possessions in the process.

She stopped dead in her tracks in front of the open door at the sight which greeted her. The room looked as if a hurricane had rampaged through it and Marie was kneeling in the middle of it, stark naked, crying and shaking.

Anya paled instantly when she noticed all the blood on the girl’s body, it did not seem as if Marie had realized her arrival yet at all. “Marie, what have you done?” Anya asked trying desperately to keep her tone calm although she felt anything but calm, eyes scanning over the room quickly and returning to her charge’s face. She slowly stepped into the room when Marie blinked once as the first reaction to her presence.

“They needed to be gone” Marie answered in a flat tone, eyes dull and lifeless, not looking up but staring at nothing.

For a moment Anya was utterly confused by Marie’s answer, until it clicked in her mind. She noticed the still opened drawer and the location of most of the blood on Marie’s body and horror settled in her mind. The girl must have cut away the kill marks from her body. The wounds were still sluggishly bleeding, but what really sent shivers through her body was the girl’s expression, she seemed nothing more than a shell of herself, broken and destroyed.

The general stepped through the room, not caring on what exactly she was stepping on at all, and grabbed a fur from her bed and quickly wrapped Marie into it. The girl needed to be looked at by Clarke, she did not know just how deep the wounds were, but they surely needed to be cleaned and wrapped and she wanted Marie removed from the chaos she had caused momentarily. It did not seem as if the girl was aware of what she had truly done, but she could already guess how guilty Marie would be once she did so.

Anya did not care at the moment what had been destroyed or how her bathroom looked like, the girl’s skin was still wet, so she must have bathed, all that mattered was taking care of Marie now.

She noticed absentmindedly how Marie did not even flinch at her touch and showed absolutely no reaction to being picked up at all. She carried the girl through the hall towards the commander’s quarters with quick strides. Gustus frowned at her in obvious confusion but opened the doors for her without any prompting needed.


	185. Chapter 185

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a little birthday present to myself, I am going to post today 😉. The chapter is pretty heavy again, but lighter ones will be coming. I will be leaving to visit my family in a few days and I do not know yet if I will be able to post anything in that time. So, it is possible, that I will be absent until the second week of January. I may be able to post one more chapter before leaving, but I will see. In that case I already wish all of you a happy Christmas and a happy new year. I may be able to post one more chapter before leaving, but I will see. 
> 
> Previously in chapter 184  
> Marie is not allowed entry into Roan’s quarters but is not sure if she would have truly wanted to see him anyway. She returns to her own rooms and starts to write down in her own journal. She has a breakdown, cutting away the kill marks she got from Nia. Anya finds her later.

Chapter 185

Lexa looked up, annoyance flashing over her features momentarily at being interrupted and she backed off slightly from Clarke. But her expression turned worried in the fraction of a second when she noticed Marie’s state.

Anya placed Marie down on the sofa, the girl’s eyes were focused on the floor and she did not react as the general removed the fur from her body.

Lexa gasped audibly at the condition of Marie’s body “What has happened?” she asked immediately.

Clarke had stepped around Lexa and turned around with a sigh, going into the bathroom to retrieve her healing equipment.

 “They needed to be gone” Marie repeated in a monotonous voice, not looking at Lexa at all.

Lexa furrowed her brow, not understanding what this vague answer was supposed to mean.

She watched how Marie suddenly seemed to focus on her hands, which were both covered more or less in already drying blood, and began scratching at them frantically.

“Marie, stop!” Anya said, crouching down next to the girl and forcefully pulling the child’s hand apart.

“They are sullied…I am tainted…I cannot get clean…” the girl mumbled, scratching at her thighs now, as she could not reach her hands together anymore.

Lexa frowned when Anya bandied a look with her over her shoulder. Abby’s prediction about a breakdown of their charge had obviously been more than accurate, but the commander had not expected it to happen this quickly, nor this severely.

“Stop with the scratching” Anya warned the girl in a strict tone, which seemed to instantly still Marie’s frantic movements with an almost startled expression. The general stood up to make room for Clarke and watched with a furrowed brow how Marie flinched away from Clarke’s hands before they could even make contact with any part of her body.

The child scrambled out of the way on the couch, baking back into a corner and trying to get out of reach.

“Clarke needs to look at your wounds” Lexa tried to explain to the child in a soothing tone. With a bit of slight force, she nudged the girl away from the corner of the sofa and slid onto the piece of furniture behind their charge, allowing her to seek comfort from her presence.

Marie only very reluctantly allowed Clarke to touch her body. The girl did not show any real reaction when Clarke probed gently at the skin she had cut away, trying to assess just how deeply the girl had cut herself. Her reactions did not seem to be born of pain, but only of fear. The girl had not seemed truly comfortable in Clarke’s presence before, but she had not been this afraid of her either and watching Marie like this worried Lexa and Anya deeply.

Clarke tried to be as gentle and quick as possible while trying to clean out the wounds on Marie’s collarbones. She grimaced slightly at the sight of the cleaned wounds, the girl had sliced away quiet deeply at her skin and the wounded areas were not small either. The wounds would surely take a few weeks to heal completely and they would probably also scar. She noticed how Marie must have been careful to leave two kill marks intact and she remembered that the girl had received those two in TonDC.

Her blue eyes were full of compassion when they connected with Lexa’s over the child’s shoulders and she had to force her tone to remain even remotely steady “She cut away her kill marks”.

Lexa inhaled sharply, as the girl’s previous answer now made sense in a horrific way. Anya sighed under her breath, she had already made the connection herself and had not needed prove, but she could see that Marie had been careful to leave their kill marks intact.

“They needed to be gone…” Marie agreed in a distant tone, grey eyes focused on nothing in particular with a far-away look in them.

“It will be alright” Lexa tried to sooth the girl in a soft tone, putting a hand against the girl’s back carefully, trying not to touch any of the scratch wounds she could already see.

“If I look at her, it is probably better if she takes a bath with healing herbs, it will clean all the little wounds more thoroughly” Clarke assessed after a moment of silence. She had not yet seen Marie back, but her front was already littered in various small wounds. It would be easier to apply some poultice to them later to assist with the healing once they were clean.

Anya nodded and turned to call for handmaidens to prepare such a bath. She also quickly left the commander’s quarters, wanting to inspect her quarters before she would send handmaidens to clean up all the mess left behind by Marie.

She shook her head in agitation at the sight of the chaos. Marie seemed to have destroyed just about everything which could have been destroyed by throwing it on the floor. The general noticed the journal Lexa had given to their charge among the many things scattered over the floor. She opened it out of curiosity and was slightly astounded to see that the child had actually started to write something down. Anya only shortly glanced over what Marie had written and she frowned when she saw that Marie had stopped with her narration at exactly the point where they had gotten separated during their hunting outing. She also noticed the blood which had dropped onto the page and wondered how the child had originally hurt herself, before she had apparently lost it.

She had started to at least right the furniture again, when she shook her head and went over into the bathroom. It seemed Marie had thrown around some stuff here as well and Anya instantly found the bloodied dagger beneath the sink. She felt her stomach role and sour bile rise in her throat when she found the slices of bloodied skin Marie had cut off from her body.

Anya picked up the coarse brush the child must have used to clean her body with and her stomach gave another lurch at the state of it. The bristles were bloody and it looked as if the girl might have even scratched hard enough in some places to remove skin as well. She threw the brush into a waste bin, not wanting it to remain within their quarters. It seemed Abby was correct and they could not leave the girl alone at all right now.

The girl’s clothing was torn in places and would need to be repaired. Marie had obviously not been careful in removing them but must have simply ripped them from her body.

She left the bathroom when she heard a handmaid knock at the door. Anya let the young woman inside, instructing her to clear out all the mess. She gathered a few clothes fresh clothes for Marie and left her quarters to return to the commander’s.

Marie was still sitting on the sofa in front of Lexa, but she had the fur wound tightly around her small frame again while handmaidens bustled around to prepare the bath for her in silence.

Lexa seemed to be whispering soothing words into Marie’s ears, but the child looked anything but relaxed.

Clarke was speaking lowly with her mother over the radio explaining quickly what had just happened.

Anya stepped over to the sofa crouching down in front of Marie and tried to force a friendly and calm expression onto her features. In reality Anya wished for nothing more than to have Nia in front of her and to be able to slowly and painfully torture the vile woman to death.

Now that Anya was closer to their charge and Lexa, she could hear that the commander in fact was trying to urge Marie to tell her what had happened or rather what had caused her to do what she had done.

It did not seem as if her gentle probing was having much of an effect though, as Marie simply stared away from the commander and did not seem to react to the woman’s words at all.

“Marie” Anya addressed the child in a rather sharp tone and a strict expression and the child’s grey eyes instantly snapped to her face, connecting with her own eyes. “Tell me what you have done after I left you?” the general demanded, brown eyes strict and unyielding.

Marie grasped harder at the furs around her body, her knuckles standing out white under her skin, but her tone was surprisingly steady as she answered “I did not want to continue to read the commander’s journal, so I wandered through the tower”.

Anya’s lips thinned slightly, she knew that Lexa had explained to Marie additionally to herself just how important it was to them that they always were aware of their charge’s current location.

“I ended up in front of Roan’s quarters” Marie continued “The guards did not let me enter…”. The girl stopped and seemed to recall something “I did not know if I truly wanted to see him…Can you be there when I see him?” she asked, voice innocent and almost pleading.

Anya curtly nodded, but she did not let her features soften, they were not speaking about Roan after all.

Marie’s eyes seemed to tear up as she made to open her mouth again and Anya shook her head, interrupting their charge “I did not ask you to cry, I ask for an explanation. Crying will not change anything now, Marie” she chided the girl, voice the slightest bit softened.

Marie’s own features hardened visibly at Anya’s reprimand and she nodded curtly, before she continued to answer in a steady tone “I returned to our quarters. I started to read a bit, but I could not concentrate. With nothing else to do, I thought to try to start to use the journal you gave to me” the girl looked over her shoulder at Lexa minutely, before she spoke up again “I stopped writing when…” Marie’s voice wavered and she balled her hands into tight fists again at her side. Her breathing became slightly irregular and Lexa and Anya bandied a worried glance.

“You are safe here” Lexa tried to reassure the girl in a soft tone.

Marie nodded, visibly trying to pull herself together. “The quill broke in my fingers” she said, voice taking on a far-away quality again “I cut my hand and blood dropped onto the page, sullying it. Like I am…I nee…needed to…to get clean” she forced out, her whole frame shaking visibly.

The girl lost the fight against her emotions and the first tears ran down her cheeks already.

Anya’s expression turned a lot gentler as she wiped them from Marie’s skin carefully, but her tone was still infused with strictness “And the kill marks?”

Marie’s grey eyes looked impossibly wide as she stared at Anya for a moment and her answer was only a whisper “They are not a sign of honour…they needed to be gone” she repeated herself. It was obvious that she must have been telling herself this same fact for some time to be this convinced of it.

“They could not stay” Marie added, voice louder now, but still wavering “The queen made them…I cannot have something of her…”. The girl was crying in earnest now and her gaze switched between Anya and Lexa, completely ignoring Clarke’s presence or the handmaiden still busy with preparing the bath.

Anya thought it was probably good the girl did not pay Clarke any mind. The blonde healer still held the radio in her hand and her finger pressed the button Anya had seen her use before to speak with her mother, so Abby was probably listening in Arkadia.

Hearing the girl’s reasonings felt like a dagger to her own heart to the general and she doubted that Lexa was feeling any different. The worse was not to know on how to efficiently help Marie in her recovery. It had obviously been foolish to assume that the child was coping well with what she had suffered through, as if her sleeping problems and panic attacks had not been enough already.

Clarke went over into the bathroom a moment later to add the herbs which should help to disinfect all the little wounds the girl had caused to her skin. She stayed within the bathroom for a moment and closed the door behind herself

“Have you heard everything?” Clarke asked into the radio, waiting for her mother’s reply. Seeing the child suffering like that was truly painful and she hoped there was something they could do.

“Yes” her mother’s voice answered immediately but it sounded heavy “I fear I cannot offer you what you have been hoping for, Clarke. There is no easy way for her to recover. She needs time. She should try to use the journal again at one point, but talking with her would probably work better.”

Clarke nodded and waited for her mother to continue until she realized that her mother would not have been able to see her nodding and was probably waiting for her to say something as well. “I had feared that already. She did not seem to have been doing this bad” she commented with a grimace.

“Just because she has not been expressing her turmoil so far does not mean that she has been coping with any of it” her mother’s voice cautioned.

Clarke sighed and asked “Do you think it would be beneficial if she returned to Arkadia so that you could make a proper therapy with her?” She felt slightly bad for asking her mother without discussing this with Lexa and Anya beforehand, but it seemed a logical solution.

“Marie will not recover overnight, but I am not a qualified psychologist either and it is clear Marie does not trust me. It is doubtful separating her from the commander and the general now would actually be beneficial. Just brief the commander and the general again about what we have discussed and do not leave Marie unattended. Although she has not hurt herself with intention of inflicting wounds, does not mean that she would not. She should get better with time and enough care” her mother answered.

Clarke nodded again and quickly said her goodbyes to her mother before she left the bathroom. “Your bath is ready” she proclaimed in a gentle tone and kindly smiled at Marie who was sitting between Lexa and Anya, looking utterly lost.

Anya offered a hand to Marie and actually lead the girl towards the bathroom still holding the child’s hand. The general sighed when she saw just how many wounds Marie had inflicted upon herself in her frantic attempt to get clean.

Anya remembered that Abby had cautioned them that it was extremely important that no one of them gave Marie the feeling that she was in any way dirty or tainted after having been raped, but it was obvious that Marie was already feeling that way and she highly doubted it would be easy to convince the child of the opposite now.

She sat down on a stool next to the bathing tube intent on staying with Marie until the girl had finished. Marie did in fact looked rather relived to see her sit down and Anya gave her a slight smile in silent reassurance.

“Am I in trouble?” the child asked after lowering herself into the bathing tube and worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

Anya sighed, she would be lying if she said that she was not slightly angry about the girl causing such chaos in their quarters, but the fact that Marie had hurt herself was worrying immensely and her anger paled in comparison to her worry, so she shook her head in the negative. “You should have spoken to one of us before you did that” Anya reprimanded the girl lightly and motioned to the wounds on her collarbone. Although she could fathom her reasoning, acting in such a way was irresponsible and foolish.

Marie nodded with a downcast expression. “Would you have let me do it?” the child asked after a moment in a faint tone.

Anya snorted under her breath “Certainly not like that” she deadpanned.

Marie nodded again and the glint in her grey eyes clearly showed that she did not truly regret what she had done. She had wanted to erase the kill marks and she had done so.

When Marie slid deeper into the water, she visibly winced as the water came into contact with the more extensive wounds.

“I do not want to see you hurt yourself again on purpose ever again” Anya addressed the girl in a sharp tone.

Marie nodded with wide eyes after some silent moments and her tone was laced with dissent “I have not done it to hurt myself…It has not hurt…I had not realized I used the brush so hard…”

Anya sighed “I gathered as much already. But Marie there is nothing sullied or tainted about you, there is nothing you need to remove from yourself with such force”.

Marie’s grey eyes glistened with a sheen of tears as she shook her head “But I can still feel her f…fi…fingers…” she sobbed out.

Anya slid closer to the bathing tube and took the girl’s hand which had been grasping the edge harshly into hers “What Nia has done to you has not tainted you in any way” she repeated in a firm tone and her eyes bore into Marie’s intently.

Marie nodded with tearful eyes, but Anya doubted that her words would have truly already sunk into the girl’s mind, she had the foreboding that they would be repeating these words to Marie for some time now.

“Where is Lexa?” Marie asked next in a small tone, her grey eyes flickering to the door momentarily.

Anya smiled gently at the child “In the main room” she reassured the girl “You can call out to her, if you want. But I guess that you can come out of the bath soon any way”.

“Can we stay here tonight?” Marie breathed out, barely loud enough for Anya to decipher the words, although she was sitting very close to the child.

Anya sighed, the arrangement would be less than ideal, but she already knew what Lexa’s answer would be, so she nodded with a slight smile ghosting over her lips.

Marie was visibly relived at her answer, but her expression turned slightly sheepish “I am sorry that I destroyed your stuff…” she trailed off.

Anya’s lips thinned slightly, although she shook her head and waved away the girl’s apology “Possessions can be replaced, Marie, but promise me, that you speak to me or Lexa or even Ontari or Clarke, if you feel overwhelmed like this again” she said to her charge her eyes boring into Marie’s grey ones.

Marie nodded, although doubt and hesitation were visible on her features “I am not supposed to be weak…” she reasoned lowly and looked away from Anya with a slight pout.

Anya forced the child to look back at her with a gentle finger on her chin, guiding her face back to look into her eyes and her voice was firm when she said “You are not weak now, nor have you been before, Marie. Asking for help and speaking about what you are feeling is not weakness”.

Marie nodded again, but her features still looked troubled “Lexa and you do not speak about things like this…”

Anya inclined her head with a slight grimace. She remembered that Marie had only been satisfied when she and Lexa reciprocated the girl’s feeling by proclaiming their love for the girl as well. She squeezed the girl’s fingers gently “We have not suffered through what you have” she reasoned “And we only wish to help you get better. Burying your feelings will only make it worse in the long run”.

“Okay” the child agreed although the doubt was still strongly visible on her features “I do not want to be a bother…”

“You could never be” Anya reassured her charge in a decisive tone and an assuring smile.


End file.
